Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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What mouse walks on two legs? Mickey Mouse. What bear walks on two legs? Winnie the Pooh. What duck walks on two legs? All of them, dumbass.

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Why was the man white? Because he wasn't black. All credit goes to Caravel.

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A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bike

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An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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What did Goldilocks say to the Three Bears? No one knows. Her remains were discovered three weeks later.

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Where did Susie go after the explosion? I don't know: she was nowhere near the explosion at the time that it happened. She probably got up to use the bathroom.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

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Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. I saw him there again today; I've been sectioned. [L]

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How many women does it take to ski across the pit of lava? None, they would burn and die.

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What happened when the man turned on his TV? It was tuned to the Discovery Channel

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What's funnier than cancer? Just about anything. There's nothing funny about terminal illnesses.

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Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got hitted by a drunken driver and died last week, when he was cycling to school.

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Knock knock. who's there? your dead cat, here you go.

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Elvis presley was taking a poop and couldnt poop cause he was dead.

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if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 10 dollars you would have 5 dollars more than Chuck Norris

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Little Timmy enjoyed school He went to Sandy Hooks

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I am dyslexic

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

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whats funny about this joke? nothing.

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What do you get when you cross a Pigeon with a Mailbox? A Carrier Pigeon, they are extinct now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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