Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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Pi and i are having an argument about the state of modern mathematics. Pi goes into a frenzy and i says "be rational". Pi does not realise that i was just being friendly, and so tells him: "get real". [L]

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the food source on its original side was running low, thus forcing the chicken to find other food options.

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Knock knock Who's there? (Punch the listner in the face)

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a jewish man with a boner walks into a wall what does he hit first his cheek due to the fact he was looking at an attractive woman

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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A man and his wife are disagreeing about what type of car to get. The wife continously nags him about getting her something that will go from 0-200 in 4 seconds, so he gets her a scale and buys himself a truck, 1 min later an abulance is called because the wife hit the husband with his new car.

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Why did the Indian cross the road? Trail of Tears.

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A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

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David shut the fuck up your cat has asthma and i dropped a weight on its little fucking head that pikey should of drowned it furthermore your sister looks like a greasy alien

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A women walks into a kitchen.

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Why did the blonde leave the lamp on while sleeping? Because it helps to see in case you need to get up in the middle of the night. YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY "BECAUSE THEY'RE A LIGHT SLEEPER!" MUAHAHAHAHAHA

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What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

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When Geese fly in their 'V' formation, why is one line bigger than the other? There's more geese in that line.

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What's worse than missing your flight? Realizing that everyone who got on it died from a bomb

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? names.....

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Q: What's black, white, and red all over? A: A horribly maimed zebra.

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What happens when a black man dies in France? A funeral procession.

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Boy: If you didn't have feet, would you wear socks? Girl: No. Boy: Then why do you wear a bra?

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What's worse than a bee sting? The holocaust What's worse then the holocaust? Two bee stings

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Whats better than Anti-jokes? Mtiscape.com

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This is a joke.

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Why didn't the woman need a watch? Because she had both her hands amputated after battling diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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