Whats green and red, in a ditch, and has cookie crumbs all over it. The girl scout i ran over with my car.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why isnt there any mexicans on star trek? Because even in the future they dont work.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

my girlfriend had a weird fetish, she used to dress up like herself and act like a bitch all the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? The extinction of the human species.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

yomamas so fat it made Ben kanobi say thats no moon thats yo mama!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Yo momma is so fat, that after boarding an airplane the flight crew respectfully asked her to deboard, as with her on board the plane would be exceeding the reccomended weight, and thus be unable to fly safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was little Sammy crying? because she had a frog stapled to her forehead

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why couldn't the fireman get over the hill? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's long, hard, and black, and goes into wet things? A submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are der Violets are eulb I am dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why are Asians such bad drivers? They're not: it is a racist stereotype that is propagated by people who are so insecure that they must put others down to feel good about themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

An elderly man farts during Sunday morning mass. The children around him laugh and then their parents remind them to be respectful.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the anti-joke poster offended by all of the thumbs down? Because he didn't understand the concept of an anti-joke and instead submitted a childish, racist, incoherent lame 'joke'. This filled him with angst because he is uneducated and doesn't respond well to criticism.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two pretzels were walking down the street when one got assaulted...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what is worse than finding finding an apple in your worm? Finding your peanut shells in your peanut.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What make's a constuction worker drop's his hammer? MC Hammer moves.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

“Ok, time for bed” … is what I said to the empty living-room. It was getting late, and the internet no longer amused me. I picked up my cell phone, rooted through the couch cushions until I located the remote, and turned off the television that had been nothing but background noise for the last few hours. I made sure the front and back doors were securely locked, walked around the back of the couch, and turned off the only light. A tap on the screen of my phone created just enough light to keep from busting a toe on an errant table leg. Because my cats have an evil tendency to lie in the middle of the hallway, I aimed the small amount of light from my phone directly in front of my tired and shuffling feet. I’d only covered a small distance before I knew, from many nights of this same regimen, that I was getting close to the bedroom door. At this point my arm started the slow upward arc that would eventually illuminate the now pitch-black opening to the comfort of my room. The light emanating from my cell was quite dim, and this action had become quite rote, so my arc was about waist level before I noticed a slight variation of the familiar black of the open doorway. At that point, and in a disturbingly short amount of time, five things happened nearly simultaneously: My arm, the arm carrying the phone, continued to rise in its predetermined arc, having been an object in motion which would stay in motion. I released a small gasp and exclaimed to my husband that his sudden appearance in the dark had startled the breath from me. I remembered that my husband was at work. The light arc reached its apex on a face of protruding nail-like teeth. A face suspiciously bereft of eyes, with a gaping, oozing, bloody pit where a nose should have been. The light went out.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Every day thousands of pets and animals are beaten, neglected and abused.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops