I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

What did Tom get for his 5th Birthday ? Nothing, he died when he was 2 years old

The doctor said to the boy that a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. He is diabetic.

My name is Nero, Angelo Nero, its Italian (or rather Roman) For Black Angel, and yes it is my real name, you will believe me once you see my passport, driving license, mastercard whatever, I am 32 years old and I wont tell you my last name because at this rate... You could probably just google me up and find it yourself. Seriously, I am latino you know that, romantic is in my veins, but hey, you never told me you liked that so if we agreed to sex, that was what I was going with... I did tell you that sex is kinda meh for me without the romance factor. The thing about your name being Tifa, is that you look A LOT like the video game character, I mean come on! You even got red eyes! (okay hers may be a brownish red but come on!) You should post a picture of yourself online and see how many guys find you really sexy... Then again, dont, I want you for myself. Sorry this is taking some time, I dont get any of these solvemedia crapcraps

Why did the chicken cross the road. He didn't, this joke gets old really fast

If you put two black men in an empty room, what will they do? They will most likely try to figure out why they have been put in such a confusing scenario. Then one of the black men will suggest the possibility that maybe they are being used as a subject of a joke. The other black man agrees then they both hang themselves since they have no other purpose in life.

A wanted man walks into a bar. The police come and take him to jail.

What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

A man named Hank, from Idaho takes a trip to Michigan. When he arrives, he rents a house and starts a meth lab. Hank is spending 7 years in jail. Hank was charged with stealing.

Three blondes walk into a bar...and have a nice evening, until one of them pulls out a gun and murders everyone at the bar, i think she was schizophrenic or something.

What do you call Batman with a knife in his chest? Dead

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

How do you wake a clown up? By pouring vinegar in his eyes.

knock knock whos there? nobody

Have you ever seen the inside of Stevie Wonder's house? Neither has he.

Why did you cross the road. You didn't your looking at this joke

What does the composer Berg lack? Schoen.

why did the girl slap joe? he had a boner.

YOU-why did the airplane crash? (person): why? YOU-Because jimmy was flying it. (person): Who is jimmy? YOU- a fish.

whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

John Cena

Roses are red Violets are blue Urine is yellowish and shit is usually brown... That's it, I was just remembering the colors of some stuffs

What did the athiest get for christmas? Well he shouldn't get anything becuase he doesn't belive in jesus.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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