what did the stop sign say to the car? nothing.

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yo mamma is so fat when people look at her they say "you're fat"

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You read this in school as the kid sitting next to you stares at his computer screen.

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Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

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Why wasn't the TV remote working? It was out of batteries.

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Why was the Black man running with a T.V.? Because he had just purchased a new LCD FlatScreen from BestBuy, and a torrential downpour had just began and he didn't have a free hand to hold up his umbrella.

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Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

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What did the horse say to the cow? Nothing because animals cannot speak.

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Why was the man so cold? He was in a fridge

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If a tree falls on a woman, and no one is around to hear it, what is a tree doing in the kitchen?

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Q: What did the dog say to the owner when he took him to the vet? A: Nothing. It's a dog. It can't talk.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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What do you call a mormon in a red jumpsuit covered in black spots? Proper terminology for this scenario has not been yet made

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Did you hear about the guy in town living in a tyre, he got a puncture now hes living in a flat.

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What's red and has two legs? Half a cat!

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Nothing.

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Please save our environment :) Dont use electricity. Use gas! Like Hitler.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What is blue and has clouds in it? The sky.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Why didnt the car turn on? Cause the keys werent in the ignition

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. They were walking and baby tomato starts lagging behind. So the papa tomato stomps on the baby tomato and says nothing because tomatoes can't talk.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a cactus and a platypus? A: I was wondering the same thing.

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Why did the pied piper eat tea half past three? Because the chicken tripped on the way across the street and the fat lady didn't sing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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