Why did the guy hate the man that said,"I respect you?'' Because the man was Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Godzilla steps on a bar and orders a Scotch.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A black man with a blond beard came to deliver me a pizza. I paid him, tipped him, and closed my door. I forgot the pizza. Dammit.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

OMG, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Arnold Schwarzenegger at Terminator: Gaynysis (or whatever I wont bother checking that out) YA NEED TO REMUV THE QUANTANAMO TRANSLACATOR TO RELOCALIZAYSEE THE INTERDEEMENENTIONAL MAYTREX! Yes, Pops but what about the time travel Paradox? YOU NEEED TO REMOV THE CRISTAL PALARDOXAL WARCALIBREITOR IN ORDA TO DESINSTONYSE THE DEEMENTIAL CORDALOXEY! Me: *Leaving the cinema* Moral: If you thought the trailer was like "meh", then you will soon realize it was the best part off the movie... The only part that is meh, and while I can honestly say I dont understand shit about how timelines work in Terminator (The creators dont do it either) Having Arnold Fucking Swartsnigger go with the Geek lingo DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! To explain things to me, NOTHIIIIING!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Man: Did It Hurt Woman: Did what hurt? Man: When your legs were crushed after being run over by that semi

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How did the blonde die drinking milk? She was severely lactose intolerant.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q. What do you call a black pilot? A. A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock knock We aren't home Sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

i was scrolling through the anti-jokes and saw one that just said refridgerator. i laughed. penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the horse with herpes say to Paul? Ney

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How did the ball fall from the cup? It didn't, it happened to be tied to a string attached to the cup.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the little girl sad? Why???? Because an elephant stamped on her, and shat on her.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing really, it just let out a little whine.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

old people are like slinkies...they arent really good for anything but brings a smile to ur face when they're pushed down the stairs...just think about it ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q. What do you call a child with no friends or family A. Adopted

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Not because she had no arms, but because she just had no hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do black people vote? They go to their polling place, register, then vote for their candidate on election day.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the boy crying in public with no clothes on? Because he had no clothes on in public.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walks into a bar. He is knocked unconscious, and passers-by rush to his aid.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops