what is red and smells like paint red paint

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What do you call a black man with no arms? Trustworthy.

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Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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What do you do when your dish washer breaks? divorce her.

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What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Why did Stephen hawking walk into A bar? He didn't. This situation is impossible considering the fact that he suffers from a horrible condition causing terrible muscular paralysis preventing him from walking.

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What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

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I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

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A Jewish man walkes into grocery store. He buys some groceries, and leaves.

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Whats funny about a blonde, brunette and red-head stranded on an island? Nothing. They are in a very dangerous survival situation, which could prove to be fatal

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you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

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Me: Knock Knock Mom: Who's there? Me: Jason Mom: Jason who Jason: HOW COULD YOU FORGET ME I CAN'T BELRIVE YOUR ALZHEIMER'S HAS GOTTEN THAT BAD! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME BWAAA! *Jason sadly died short after from a bus hitting him*

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I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

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why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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So I said to the man "That's no banana, thats my wife!"

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Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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