There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

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Man U

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What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

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If rocks were people, what would you call a bunch of marble rolling down a hill? Rocks don't have the ability to be people.

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Why did helen kellers dog committ suicide? You would to if you had massive clinical depression.

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Why did the chicken cross the road So he could get back to the farm and lay more eggs

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Whats the difference between a bong and a nigger? My bong works

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I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

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wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

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Why did the black man go to Jail? He was visiting his friend!

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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what's Mexicans favourite sport? Cross country.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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Guess what your birth certificate really is. An apology letter from the condom factory.

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If you listen to Justin Beiber all day long, what do you become? Very hungry and thirsty. And you need to go to the restroom.

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What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

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What do you call two black men walking down a stairwell? Their names.

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So, Ryan Dunn was driving under the influence of alcohol. The result of this action proved to be fatal for both Ryan and his passenger; who happened to be his close and personal friend.

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Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

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What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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