There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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why did the girl cross the road? no one knows because she was hit with a car and died on impact.

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Whats the worst thing your parents could ever do to a teenager? Take there phone.

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my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have STD's, Now so do you!

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question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

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There is no I in team... But there is a u in suck. There is no I in team, but there is in awesome

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If you just read this, You're dead.

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What's sad about a guy jumping off a cliff? The cliff.

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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A black man walks down a high street and sees a white woman approaching. He bids her good day and they carry on their respective journeys. He then turns around and follows the white woman and rapes her in a dark alleyway, because as we all know, all black men are rapists.

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

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What's the difference between a convertible and a dead baby? One's in my garage, and one's a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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