Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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An Indian, American and French man walk into the bar simultaneously. Unfortunately, they get stuck in the door.

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How many blonde chicks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to set the house on fire, and the other to call 119.

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If you say "Hi" to every tree you pass, is that being environmentally friendly?

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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What did Harry Potter say when he lost his wand? Where's my wand?

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The Israeli asked the Japanese guy to open his eyes The Japanese guy said, I'm not squinting you crazy Jew. You're the one that sold me these cheap glasses.

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Why don't dinosaurs eat other dinosaurs? They're all dead.

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what has hair? Organisms, or at least most do.

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whats a joke

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Why didn't Santa deliver presents until the night after Christmas? You should go ask someone who knows.

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A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

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Matt is a Duster!

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How do you make your friends more positive ? Infect them with HIV.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? -Who's there? Not the girl.

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Q: Why were minorities denied access to the bathroom? A: It was for employees only.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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knock knock who's there? pizza man ok

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

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If you could eliminate one thing in your life, what would it be ? My ex.

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Teachers be like "Hold on class, I am almost done with my lesson!" Students: " Aint nobody got time 4 dat!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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