Doctor! doctor! I feel like a bridge! That's the least of your problems you've got cancer by ndc

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How many dead rats can you put in your ex-girlfriend's bed? 437.

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Who won the championship last year? There was no championship

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because it saw some food, or because it felt threatened on the side of the road it was already on.

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What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

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Roses are red Violets are purple, and anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.

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A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

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Why do black people make the best milkshakes? because they use the finest ingredients

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What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

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A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

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Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

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What isyellow and can't swim? a bulldozer

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What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

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What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys. The owner of a basketball team

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What have you got there? Hitler's gas bill... Oh.. don't show him that, he'll be furious Whys that? He can't read.

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what did Dr. Dre say? Nothing you idiots! Dr. Dre's dead!

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

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whats long, orange, and comes out of brown stuff? -a carrot.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? No one knows.

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Why do people laugh at anti-jokes? Because of a chemical reaction to a neurological phenomenon that results from the brain's response to external stimuli.

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so theres a plane, inside the plane are 500 solid bricks one falls out, how many are left? 499 What are the three steps to putting an elephant into a refrigirator? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, close the fridge. What are the four steps to putting a dear in the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer and then shut the fridge. It's Simba's birthday, what animal isn't there? The deer. its still in the fridge. a lady is walking across a street, she suddenly falls to the ground why? Because the brick hit her in the face. (:

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops