Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

roses are red. violetss are black. a knife would go good in your back

Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its not for us to determine its motive, i'm sure it has its reasons

What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks the duck "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck and it can't talk.

Q: What did the homless man get for chritsmas? A: Frostbite

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are on the run from the police. They see a barn, and decide to hide inside it. They find three burlap sacks, and each hide in one. The police enter the barn, arrest each of the girls, and sentence them to life imprisonment for murder.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was in the oven because the farmer was cooking it for dinner.

Why did the asian man crash? He fell asleep after a long 18 hour day of driving, plus he was listening to soothing soul music.

-Why did the jewish man chase after the penny? -Because he's poor and needs to feed his starving family.

what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a tree There isn't a tree in my garage

quantum physics?

why was the black guy smelly? because his white friend threw him in a dumpster

One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinsons..

How many elbows does a Jew have? 2

Donald Trump

A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the elephant.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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