On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

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What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

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why is ur dad an alcoholic? he drinks a lot of alcohol

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

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What do you call a black guy doing community service? Someone who wanted to give back. Stop being racist.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

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You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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Wanna here a funny joke? Will is straight HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA hes gay

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A man says to a boy. I bet you I can jump over that mountain. The boy wins the bet because it is a physical impossibility to jump over a mountain.

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What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

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why is brennan hart a dumbass idk ask his mom

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

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what did the mexican do yesterday? bang your mom

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How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

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Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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