why was there a fish in a fish tank ? because if it wasnt it would die

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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What did one cow say to the other cow? Nothing. Cows do not possess the ability to speak.

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My wife's star sign was Cancer and its quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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What has four legs one head but only one foot? A dog that was born with physical deformities.

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What's the difference between a piece of chicken and a black guy? One is delicious and the other isn't good for your health.

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How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" Then the horse left because that question is racist to horses.

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What do you have, if you have fists the can kill someone in one punch? Hulk's DNA

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How do you make a snake blink? You can't

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What Do call a dog with an e A doge

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What junk did she have in her trunk? Mcdonalds because shes fat as hell.

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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Whats the worst thing your parents could ever do to a teenager? Take there phone.

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my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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There is no I in team... But there is a u in suck. There is no I in team, but there is in awesome

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question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have STD's, Now so do you!

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If you just read this, You're dead.

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What's sad about a guy jumping off a cliff? The cliff.

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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