Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, violets are blue, they really should be purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, and violets are freakin violet. Not blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

This is not a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a mustang? I don't have a mustang in my garage..

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red Violets are blue These are facts that many people know

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

jhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what's body surfing? sounds dumb.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? A: You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

42

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's red, white and blue? You're mother on her period after she had sex. I don't know where the blue came from.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the 13 year old drug addict crying? Because somebody shot him in the foot

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why is it OK to make fun of a deaf person? Because they can't hear.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes to step on trampolines.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road A. Because he needed to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops