- Anti Joke

Little johnny raised his hand one day in class and asked if he could use the restroom. The teacher said he had to say the abc's first. Johnny successfully recited the abc's and then proceeded to use the restroom.

once there was an anti-joke. it wasn't well thought out or even very creative. what happened to the anti-joke's premise? it got undermined or reversed in the punchline. but the punchline was way too straightforward. so, the whole joke really ended up sucking.

Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo But dont worrie ill be there Not in a cage But laughing at you

What did the blade of grass say to the other blade of grass? Nothing, as grass does not have the capability of speaking and does not have a brain, all it has is a complex life system where it feeds off water. If it were to say anything though, it would say, "Hey! We're both blades of grass!"

Why didn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing Mittens

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Get in the car."

Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

Four men are stranded on a small desert island. The first of them decides to build a raft out of bamboo, but it only has room for one passenger. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouted to the men on shore as he left, but a band of pirates killed him in the middle of the ocean. The second castaway was more clever, and built a submarine out of bamboo and sealed it with hides of animals they had killed. He counteracts the buoyant force with sand. In this way, he planned to avoid the pirates by being underwater. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he exclaimed as he sealed the one person sized chamber of his submarine, but not far off shore, he runs out of oxygen and suffocates to death. The third castaway learned from the mistakes of the first two, and in spite of the unpredictability of handcrafted aerial vehicles, he makes a glider. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouts from the hill top of the island as he leaps off and glides over the horizon. Though the journey is fraught with peril, he makes it back to civilization and is reunited with his family. It is expensive, but he prepares an expedition back to the island where his fourth comrade remains. It is worthy to note that on this small island, all the means of making shelter had been used up in the construction of the raft, submarine, and glider. The fourth castaway was found dead from exposure to the elements.

Knock knock. Come right on in.

what didn't I do when making this joke? Read and agree to the terms of service.

Why couldn't my grandpa use a cell phone? He didn't have hands.

Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

DAAAAAAAAMN! I AM BEHIND THE SQUARE WHEEL AGAIN! AND THAT SHIT IS POINTY! PRETENDING TO CARE IS SUCH A HASSLE! Anyway, I hope you know I was joking (otherwise you would totally be,not as smart as I thought) but yeah lets see, I am the fourth most pointless MAN, after "The square wheel", "My wife" (:)) I guess some guy just married the wrong wife huh?) And the the fucking wheel is a billion times more manly than Justin Bible or whatever you called that... Thing, and that wheel is made from a female tree! What? HAVE THE LAST COMMENT? I DO NOT GET HAVE! I GET TAKE BY FORCE! Well as far as comments and go, and sex of course.

1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

When is a door not a door? When it has yet to be created from its base components.

Why did the man have a finger coming out of his ear? He had a birth defect.

Boy, is it hot this summer! How hot is it?! So hot that many people have died as a result!... Drink plenty of water.

Jews claim to be God`s chosen people... Look how it went for them, the original Jews are of course gone, everyone else is part something else, "only Jews" are gone. 1. Do you believe that God chose you, just because you decided to choose him? Now you, are not chosen, but brainwashed by your parents and ancestors by threats of hell and fear, you have CHOSEN, to follow him, too bad he is dead, he had no love for himself, why would he be jealous of his own creations and created them all in order to DEMAND your love? Your love was not enough I suppose, I would know if I cared... 2. What Good is today, and the meaning behind commands. ...God demands your elders stone your children to death when they misbehave! I applad your GOODNESS if you do so (better than selling them as whores and slaves, as he of course DEMANDED as well) yet you apparently believed that his COMMANDS where you know... suggestions... Now we know why he died. 3. Let us all spend a moment in rememberance of my brother Jesus. Now I want all Christians, you who killed my brother and stole his name, to go and read "Ave Maria" the ONLY chapter 97 PERCENT of you have read (true fact) another 5000 times, so that you can keep denying GODS other words, those whose meaning remain intact... You do not even have the same name for him for every nation... No wonder he died. 4. My brother`s words "Jesus" spelled Yoshua, once said "Only him that hate his mother and father can become student of mine" Do you believe that your bible translated tredicillions of times have a better translation? King James version? Where is God and Jesus version? Laughable... You only serve the corrupt words of your own arroance a man named King James and every other disgusting priest that thought that serving God allowed them to decide which parts of the bible where to be cut, and which ones to be added... 5. What Jesus was meant to do, and why you more or less skinned him alive, wear his name around as if it where his skin and CELEBRATE THE FACT THAT YOU SLAUGHTERED HIM AND CELEBRATE IT? He never told anyone to consume his flesh and drink his blood, it was your ancestors that had him killed and literally ate him and stole his name (Christians yes, you are no better celebrating his death, your hands are stained with his blood) in hopes of becoming immortal such as him. His original words where simply "Eat bread and drink Wine and you shall live forever, which was at that time a great means of living below the age of 101, you see, remove the last number of the ages mentioned in the bible, and you will realize that priests added an extra zero usually in order to make "Jesus`s claim of immortality" seem "realistic" 666. Seek me out once I reveal my Alias, and I shall show you the true path... My number by the way, is 777 but that did not make sense to the priests that changed the bible in 1836, they also added the example regarding eating four legged animals, their entry? "crawfish which has you know... "four legs"" But for now you can decide if you wish to become the ones that love themselves and their kin, or those that give and sacrifice about everything but themselves... SOVEmedia final words "I have fallen" Another "coincidence" of course. Moral: Hate me you of religion and of course moral, because you all follow corrupt versions of the very same one, hate is what you do best, as you tend to run out of things to give and people to sacrifice. For those that are willing to stop dreaming of heaven after death, and willing to create heaven on earth... Well, no need to love me, but hating me is hating my values, my guts, my self, so yeah... I do not turn the other cheek, I send those which out of free will worship me not as someone they must sacrfice everything for, but as the paragon, the last remaining savior. I would keep typing, but you humans expect my words to come from a clearer source right? Well I will not seek you out, but if you seek me, you will find me. Black Angel M.

Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

A. Knock Knock. B. Who's there? A. Orange. B. Orange who? A. Orange you glad your retarded because you think oranges can talk?

Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

say it ten times fast: oh

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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