Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

She likes her sex like she likes her penises. Without a woman.

That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you think it octopus.

Technically rainbows are white.....and have gold at the end.

Did you hear the one about the dead guy? Apparently he was no longer living.

How many Anne Franks does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, cause she's dead.

What's the worlds most popular burger? The Krabby Patty

Whats Black and White and Red all over? A penguin in a blender.

Roses are nice, violets are fine, ill be the 6, if you be the 9!

5 Jewish men walk into a bar and are expected to be treated nicely

How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

Why are black people not allowed to play football? They are.

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There once was a girl who took away my source of entertainment. Her name was Nicole.

Why was the penguin popular? He cuts himself.

What's worse than finding a baby in a dumpster? Being late on your taxes

Rush Limbaugh

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

KANE AUDITIONS FOR BRITAINS GOT TALENT SIMON COWEL REAPES HIM

One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

Hey what did you do on The weekend??? I got hit by a bus!

Yo mama so fat because it's in her genes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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