A squirrel is about to steal the eggs of a sparrow when the sparrow suddenly says, "Stop! I will do anything if you would spare my eggs!" The squirrel has no capacity to reason and so steals the eggs anyway. The sparrow is devastated.

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Your momma's so fat, people make jokes about her.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Donald Duck walks into a drug store and asks the lady behind the counter for a bag of condoms. So the lady says, "Sure thing sir, would you like me to put that on your bill"? Donald says," THIT(Shit)NO, I'LL THUFFOCATE! (Suffocate)

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How many babies can you fit in a bottle? None, a bottle is too small

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "Where's my tractor?"

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What happened to the mentaly challenged person is walking down the street? He pooped on the sidewalk and got escorted to his house

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Teacher- What comes after 69 Boy- Mouthwash?? Teacher- LEAVE!

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Q. Why did the car break dance? A. I dont know!

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How many tickles can you give an octopus? Ten tickles

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Why do people hate Jews? Because there is nothing to like about them

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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What's purple, green, and orange? Dead baby with slashed floaties. What's black, purple, and orange? Same baby two weeks later.

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What's the same about a clown and a knife? They are both fun, except for the clown. I hate clowns.

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Why did the Asian boy drop his milk? Because he had a stroke.

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people magazine

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What did the man say to the woman before he had sex with her? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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What looks like a duck, smells like a duck and feels like a duck? A duck.

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ecks! why zee?

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Why the kid can't get off the water? Because your feet is on his head

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what's better than winning a gold metal at the special olympics? not being retarded.

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It's Christmas in Iraq. Merry Christmas

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A rooster lays an egg on the tip of a roof. Which side does it fall to? Roosters don't lay eggs

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Knock Knock Who's There ........................ ........................................... I hate doorbell ditchers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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