your mumma so fat when she stepped on the scales it said her phone number

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Where did Wendy decide to work for her part time job? TACO BELL

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Why do girls enjoy listening to Justin Biebers music? Because he sings moderately well and appeals to a younger audience.

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Why was the potatoe hot Cuz I cooked it

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being sober in a bar fight

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The schoolboy said to the bus driver, this is my stop the bus driver replied "no, we have a while to go yet"

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Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

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what is the difference betweeb 69 and 77? 8

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What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms.

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why was smokey bear sad? he got cancer from smokeing

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally, she has no arms.

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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Why couldn't the grandma remember what she did last night? Because she has Alzeihmers and grandmas don't do anything.

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Why didn't the kid get a bike for Christmas? Because his parents died and Santa's not real

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What does a gay horse eat? Other gay horses.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning Get your foot off of his head

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Q:Why did Santa, the tooth fairy, and a rich man jump out of a plane? A: On Christmas Eve, a rich man was skydiving and lost his tooth as he plummeted towards the beautiful plateau.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Explain the concept of time travel.

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boys

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Three cows are sitting in a field The first cow says, "MOOOO!" The second cow says, "MOOOO!" The third cow says, "MOOOO!"

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What would a man say if you urinated all over his legs? WHAT THE DEUCE?

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If you walked into a grocery store right in the middle of Cuba what won't you see? The missing Malaysian MH370 Boeing.

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Want to hear an orphan joke? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops