what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people and regularly attend a synagogue and pizza is and italian food that many people find to be enjoyable to eat

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Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Reminding you of your religion. The army led by God attacked their foes at the mountains, yet had to flee because the enemy had plated steel wagons. Moral: Either God cant beat steel, or he was not there at all, its your call gents, because reading Ave Maria 50 times each time you sin, without reading the whole thing, does not even make you a Christian you FUCK (yes I can curse, you cannot)

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Person 1: *sneeze Person 2: bless you Person 1: I'm jewish. They never spoke again.

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Why are all of the cars in the left lane? Because you are in Winona MN.

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I used to have an ugly,black and disabled man as a friend. However, he had a very nasty personality so we are no longer friends.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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What did the flag say to the pole? It dosnt

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do you have snow in your vagina? because i am going to plow you

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What's worse than finding a worm in your Holocaust? Oh, wait, I said it wrong...

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What did Mr. Sandman do whrn the boy asked for one too many dreams, nothing because Mr. Sandman was the boys bitch.

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How do you get a Mexicans attention? By calling him by his name.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office, naked but wrapped in Saran Wrap. The Doctor takes one look at him and says, "I can clearly see your nuts."

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A priest, a rabbi, and an iman all walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, some kind of joke? Muslims don't drink beer."

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage?

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Why did Charlie eat a baked potato? Because he was hungry.

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how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense And it doesn't rhyme either

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Why did the Japanese piliot crash into the ship? Because he has motion sickness and puked all over the wind shield making it so he can't see.

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An asian man, a black man, and a white man walk into a bar. All three of them order a scotch, coincidentally this is their favorite beverage.

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wow i bet grass is lucky on st patricks day. why? becuase its green all year. *smacks* ow. i kno. but hey im corn.

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what Did The Cow Say To The Chicken, Moo

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What's yellow and shark infested? Shark infested banana pudding.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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