A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse. The horse walks out of the bar kicking over some chairs and scaring some people because he is a horse and horses do not belong in public atmospheres.

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Why didn't the little boy wake up today? Because he's dead

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i was quite upset when my girlfriend called me a peodifile, what does she know, shes only 6.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get for you?" The man replies, "a drink"

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your doctor, You've been diagnosed with venereal disease.

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Q: What do you call an orange if it isn't orange? A: Nothing. Chances are you won't see it until it has ripened.

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How do you kill a fat guy Keep giving him food he'll die eventually.

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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What's more fun than thumbing down a shit joke? Thumbing down a shit joke which is neutral previous to your disliking giving it a little negative number.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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Why was Uncle Monty's head damn tasty? Because he shoved it up a horses arse when it needed a shit.

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A man and a woman are happily married. The die

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What happened to the gay guy? He died of aids...

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? -Who's there? Not the girl.

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Why doesn't the farmer have a dog? He doesn't like dogs.

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I woke up this morning and ran five miles. I am proud of myself for engaging in such a healthy lifestyle.

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Whats dark, has an opening, and guys like to go into it? A Vagina

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges can't talk therefore this is not a accurate accusation.

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Are you Jamaican? Because your dreadlocked hair is an iconic symbol of one who would be from the country of Jamaica.

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Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions? A. Watching your attorney drive off a cliff in your new car.

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If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

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What did the monk give to the cancer patient? His love and reassurance.

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Why did jack fall off a cliff? Coz the hill was on a cliff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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