How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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a suicidal man walks up 49 floors and enters a room and opens the window. hes worked there for 5 years and the air condition is broken

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What rude names do you call a girl with no limbs? Anything you want they can't touch you

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When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

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roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

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A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

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What does the average fishermen catch Fish

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What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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Ha ha. You've wasted your life, sucker!

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A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

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A gay man walks into a pregnant woman

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What's the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney.

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What do a plum and a small bunny have in common? There both purple except for the bunny.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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What did the Japanese kid get for his birthday? Nothing, his gifts were washed away.

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What's stupid a light bulb.

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I have a really funny joke.

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how do you kill a baby? introduce it to alice cooper

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes to step on trampolines.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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What do you call a white man sitting between two black men on a bus? A group of three people having a friendly conversation about the upcoming football season.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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