Q: Why was the teacher sad? A: Because she got fired

thumb_up thumb_down -20

yo mummas so FAT to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the old man say when those damn kids stepped on his lawn? Nothing one of those kids killed him around three years back....

thumb_up thumb_down -20

It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the cave men discover fire? They were the only humans on earth.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Humans and dolphins are the only species who have sex also for enjoyment.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Yo momma so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why to lawyers wear neckties? It's part of the uniform.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call it when you have sex with a black man? Sex

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Did you hear about the sea cow who sang "Part of your Herd?" It was the Little Moomaid.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Erm Wait why would a chicken be on the side walk in the first place?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chicken cross the road? Some wild chickens have regular seasonal migration patterns that might require them to cross a road while traveling south. Wild chicken movements include those made in response to changes in food availability, habitat or weather.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

The worst part of waking up, Is no Folgers in your cup.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? That boy that dropped a perfectly good ice cream cone from a road accident involving a bus due to lack of road safety awareness Oh yeah, and I guess the fact that he probably died or was injured for life is pretty bad too

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the man say to the woman giving him a blowjob? That feels good.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

a read head, a brunet, and a blonde sneak into a merchant ship. security hears some noises and goes on to investigate. all three girls jump into banana sacks. security guard kicks the first sack with the read head in it and she growls like a dog, so the security sees its a dog and keeps on walking. he then kicks the sack with the brunet in it, she goes on to hiss like a cat. so then the security guard kicks the last sack with the blonde in it, and she yells out "bananas!"...the end

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q:What is the difference between a Blonde and a Ginger? A: Hair Color

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a gay man having sex with a woman? Sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How man people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1 an electrician

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What is black and white and red all over? A dalmation that was hacked to death with a machete.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's blue and invisible ? Nothing.... Its impossible to be iinvisible and a color

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why cant Hellen Keller read? Because shes dead!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops