George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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A man builds a time machine but can only travel back in time. Where does he go? Irrelevant. Time and space exist on different planes.

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What is the difference of The United States and 10 pounds of shit? Well,considering there are 50 united states,we would take 10 away from 50 for a total of 40. A very simple subtraction problem indeed.

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what did Shivank say to Ricky? "you suck dick" HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

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good pick up line hey baby have u seen my heart cuz i think you stole it

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Three guys walk into a bar. They each have a few drinks. Then all three leave responsibly in a taxi.

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

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why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

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what did the lion tell the jellyfish? nothing, both lions and jellyfishes cant talk, and even if they could the chances of a lion meeting a jellyfish are remote

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

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Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

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One Direction has 12 letters. So does gayyyyyyyyyy. Coincidence? I think not.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing, but he did purchase whiskey with the little money he had to drink away his misery, and to suppress his suicidal thoughts that were a result of his alcoholism which stemmed from his father's abusive nature.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was involved in a homicide at the Children's Hospital resulting in death row right away and was involved in the killing of 12 other numbers on last Tuesday.

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What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

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A man walks into a bar, and he died.

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

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hey! have you seen that clown at Walmart that hides from gay people?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting cow wh- SHUT UP!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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