What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for x-mas a bike

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what did one dinosaur say to the other? "rawr"

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Jews

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What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

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What do you do with a baby with a broken jaw? Deepthroat.

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I ounce had a parrot it talked buy never said im hungry so it died

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

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What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

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Two lions are walking down the street. One lion says to the other, "where is everybody?"

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Every 5 seconds a child dies in Somalia. Good news is there are 4 second intervals when a child isn't dying in Somalia. I say kill them all

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Why did the blonde lose her job as a teacher? Because she was in a sudden and violent car crash in which she died a slow agonizing death.

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You thought i'd be telling you a joke. Turns out im not.. !! haha

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

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2 muffins are in a oven for 30 minutes, the baker then questions why he only baked 2 muffins.

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Where does a jew with ADD go ? A concentration camp

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What is a baby chick after 9 days old? 10 days old.

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What do you do if you walk outside and see your t.v. floating in the lawn in the middle of the night? Go back inside.

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Three children had stumbled into an old cottage where they were met by a wizard. The wizard pointed out a slide in the corner of his cottage. He told the children that they could each go down the slide and that they could shout out a word while sliding. He told them that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "GOLD" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of solid gold. Due to its extreme hardness the child was killed immediately on impact.

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Why didn't the baby learn to walk? It got hit by a car.

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If Steve has 5 apples and gives Jenny 2, it is obvious they aren't eating oranges.

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What do you get when you cross an Indian and a duck? An Indian duck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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