How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Jimmy -thatcooltyguy

thumb_up thumb_down +17

roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Your momma's so dumb, she has below average IQ.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why do people waste time reading these jokes. Because they like anti jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Me: Hey frank, wanna die? Frank: No, why? Me: (Kills Frank) Frank: Dude why did you kill Frank?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do the NRA and PETA have in common? Both are prominent interest groups from whom political candidates try to obtain votes.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

a father listens to his son while he was on the computer. he heard "BABBY BABBY OHHHHH" and busted in He was releaved to find him masterbating to porn because he thought it was Justin Beiber

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Who gave Miley Cyrus her new haircut? Hellen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down +15

POOP.....People Order Our Patties

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops