What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

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What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

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Why did the chicken cross the traffic filled road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken delivery.

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Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

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What is the sound of one hand clapping? I don't know you have a hand try it yourself lazy prick.

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Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

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osama is obame quincadence or aluminatti????

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Every time a bell rings an angel gets it's wings. What they don't tell you is every time a mouse trap snaps an angel gets set on fire.

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The last person on Earth is sitting home alone when suddenly there is a knock at the door. Knock knock Who's there? *silence* Damn this joke got creepy...

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A man walks into a bar. What does he say? Ouch!

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on a planet, in a galaxy, far far away... you have cancer

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Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

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How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change the light bulb and two to file a lawsuit.

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there square amphibious wood gum flag homos CC

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What's the difference between an American and a British guy? Their fingerprints.

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What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? ProtestS from Anti GM activists.

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what did the girl say after she got hit by a bus, nothing she was dead

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What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

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What do call a black politician? Not Barack Obama, unless it's Barack Obama

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What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

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Whats the difference between black people and white people? They're both people.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops