How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

So a horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" It proceeds to then crap on the floor and walk out,because its a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why didnt Steve Jobs make an iphone 5? He died

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's better than getting second place in the paralympics? Having legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the sloth swing from the tree? It hung itself.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

what's blue , and you can urinate on it ? a rim block.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

why was the boys t.v broken? because he through it out the window

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's worst then leaving a public toilet when you just took a shit and the toilet is now clogged Realising that the maid was waiting for you to get out to clean the toilet...

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Which is the smallest? A. Jupiter B. Whale C. Cow D. Bracelet Answer: D

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

whats worse than a baby impaled on your lawn... the universe being consumed by a giant albino ape with over sized testicles

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do we call Osama? Osama

thumb_up thumb_down -30

charly ate an apple. the apple was filled with poison and charly died.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Yo Mama just died.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did Susie fell off the swings? Because she didn't have any arms or legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

2 Priests and a Monk walk into a bar, All 3 were stabbed to death in a bar fight.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's the worst thing about that Black Jew at the Bus Stop? He's taking a bus to go to his mother's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

DEATH.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the teacher's cat die? It had cat herpes and feline immunodeficiency virus

thumb_up thumb_down -30

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

thumb_up thumb_down -30

what do you call 20 black people under the ocean? a tragic boating accident

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops