How do you give a cold sore to catnip? Because he needed lemon juice

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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What do you call one white guy surrounded by 10 BIG black guys? The most common NFL Offence

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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Hello, my name is John, and you are reading this paragraph. Find the mistake...

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What dod the boy with no arms get or christmas? Nothing he can't open them!

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How do you stop a canadian from saying eh? Kill it...

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WNBA

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why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

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Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Because he always increases the treble input in his songs, and he doesnt have a rod.

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whats worse than school...wait a minute?

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Four blonds are driving to Disney World when they come across a sign that says Disney World left, so they proceed to make a left at the next stop and have a wonderful time in what many people consider the most wonderful place in the world.

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What is the different between going to church and reading a newspaper? You can take your shoes off when you read a newspaper.

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Why did the asian driver crash his car? Because he was driving while intoxicated.

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what did the judgmental teacher say to a challenged student? your stupid

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A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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What did the cat say to the cat? Miau

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Q: How do you give a frigid woman an orgasm? A: By making her come.

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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Adam Fantuzzi's just jealous because he'll never be the man his mother is

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Four men are stranded on a small desert island. The first of them decides to build a raft out of bamboo, but it only has room for one passenger. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouted to the men on shore as he left, but a band of pirates killed him in the middle of the ocean. The second castaway was more clever, and built a submarine out of bamboo and sealed it with hides of animals they had killed. He counteracts the buoyant force with sand. In this way, he planned to avoid the pirates by being underwater. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he exclaimed as he sealed the one person sized chamber of his submarine, but not far off shore, he runs out of oxygen and suffocates to death. The third castaway learned from the mistakes of the first two, and in spite of the unpredictability of handcrafted aerial vehicles, he makes a glider. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouts from the hill top of the island as he leaps off and glides over the horizon. Though the journey is fraught with peril, he makes it back to civilization and is reunited with his family. It is expensive, but he prepares an expedition back to the island where his fourth comrade remains. It is worthy to note that on this small island, all the means of making shelter had been used up in the construction of the raft, submarine, and glider. The fourth castaway was found dead from exposure to the elements.

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what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

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Jordan is pregant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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