A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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knock knock who's there bang bang bang bang who where da cash at

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Q. Why didn't bob go to work today? A. I killed his family.

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Why is it so hard to cook vegetables? The wheel chair won't fit in the oven.

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yo mamma's so retarded that shes a potato

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Your mother is so fat because she inherited poor genes and dietary habits from her own parents.

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how do you upset a black guy kill his family :)

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How do you stop the skunk from smelling, you rip it in half and bury the body therefore stopping the smells from escaping.

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.The chicken was very distressed and trying to get away from the angry mob that followed close behind it.The chicken was never seen again. If you see a distressed chicken please contact your local police station.

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Yep, super duper stressed, all of the time, but how did you know?

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

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Wake up in the morning feeling like... Helen Keller

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Person1: Man I had the worst day ever. Person2: Worser than the holocaust.

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Whats round and bouncy? A bouncy ball

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God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

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Why was the little boy reluctant to approach his father? Because his father was a rotting corpse.

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Q. What do you call an average middle-aged white man who walks into a bar and asks for a drink? A. Not a very funny joke

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a dinosaur? You can't. Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Why did it take the rabbit so long to enter the rabbithole? Because he was hit by a truck and lost a lot of blood.

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Why won't Santa be delivering presents this year? Because he can't be bothered.

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A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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How do you know when an Asian has robbed your house? You have informed the police, who in turn searched the house for DNA evidence, eventually leading them to the criminal, who just so happened to be a troubled Asian teenager attempting to join a local gang.

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A seal walks into a club.

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What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops