What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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Women's professional sports

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What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

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why did the irishman need plastic surgery? because after the bear attack where there used to be a face there is now a gap

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whats the hardest part about eating a vegitable getting your mouth around the wheelchair.

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What funny about AIDS nothing its a terrible disease

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Why did the chIcken cross the road? To escape the holocaust.

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Which is better; having a billion dollars or a trillion dollars? Trick Question, you aren't that rich.

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Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour.

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you gay?

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A man walks into a bar, asks the bartender for a beer. Bartender says, "That'll be $3.50." Man says,"The joke maker did not explain monetary transactions."

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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So this blond chick walks into a bar, and orders a drink.

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Dad's writes on son's Facebook wall: "Dear Son, How are you? All are fine here. We miss you a lot. Please!! TURN OFF THE COMPUTER & COME DOWN FOR DINNER!!! by darragh hamilton

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What did god say when he saw the first black person? He will do alright for him self

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Oh you have herpes? yeah, there's an app for that.

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what did the little boy say to the man? Nothing because earlier that day his mom reminded him not to talk to strangers

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a guy walks into another tall man knowing that he has something weird in his mouth. he pulls out a fly, apologizes for running into him and promptly walks to his small appartment to brush his teeth. the next day a fridge hits him in the face and he spontaneously combusts. he was never seen again.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I lied, it was a goat.

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Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

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How do you know when a Captcha defect causes you to post the same anti-joke three times? Canteloupe.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Except it's not usually a rectangular or love heart shaped... nor does it contain small expensive assorted candy... life may not also contain nuts... or be devoured by our fellow human... Life is not like a box of chocolates

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What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than that? Two dead babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than that? Two dead trees naild to a baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops