A brunette, a blond and a red-head decide to go swimming in a lake. To prepare, they go shopping together to get some new bikinis. When they get to the shop they are pleased to find that the bikinis are on sale and they get them 50% off. They drive with their new swimwear to the lake and get changed in the changing room. When they get out they notice that it is quite cold. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice that the lake is dirty. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice the lake is actually a spill of oil. They decide to go swimming anyway. They remember that none of them can swim. They decide to go swimming anyway. They jump in. They drown.

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what is yellow with red all over tweety in a blender

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"what did the priest say to the rabbi?" "what" "my religions better

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whats worse than dieing in an airplane? jumping out of the airplane to save yourself and emediatly getting shredded by the massive engine you did not have the wits to see.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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what do eagles and chetos have in common....... they both can fly except for the chetos

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A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of.

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How do you torture a turtle? If you came up with an answer to that question you are completely and utterly unethical and immoral.

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What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? Ten babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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What's the difference between a black male and a white female? There are many differences but all of which are wrong to make a joke about.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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Q: A woman is hit by a motorcycle. Whos fault was it the motorcyclist's or the woman's? A: It was the motorcyclist's fault. He shouldn't of been riding his mortorcycle in the kitchen while she was making my sandwich.

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I know there are, its not the illuminati, its not reptilian shapeshifters, nor Gods politicians nor the human condition. Its society today as it stands, they did not have the right to attack us, but if we had surpassed them, they would have lost all power, they are the relics of the past, and no matter how many of them stand, they do not grow, and what does not grow, stagnates until it finally dies. Lose hope in people most all you want, but not in the few that truly believe in you for all the good reasons in the world, perhaps we are idealists, or maybe we know that with you by our side, what we see as ideals, is something you can make come true.

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What did tarzan say when he saw 100 elephants coming over the hill? Look there's 100 elephants coming over the hill What did tarzan say when he saw 100 elephants coming over the hill with sunglasses on? Nothing he did not recognize them

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why did a guy try to rob me? because he was black.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven three twelve. Am i doing it right?

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your mom is so stupid that she is suffering from down's syndrome, and has a shorter life expectancy than normal people.

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The priest leaves because they don't have wine.

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An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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Why didn't Pat's grandma go to his birthday party? Because she died last night

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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Man: Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains........ Doctor: You clearly have Alarming mental issues perhaps a psychologist would be the right person to discuss this matter further

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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