What's worse than the Holocaust? • • • Stubbing your toe.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what do you call five mexicans pushing a truck up a hill? Five mexicans stuck in the middle of nowhere looking for an auto mechanic.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

So one time there was this woman learning...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? A: One dead baby in 6 trash cans.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

there are 2 muffins in an oven one says "man its hot in here" the other says "shut up i hate this joke"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red violets are blue..... I have normal vision

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why are there so many anti-jokes about refrigerators? Because the writer of the joke was pressured by terrorists that would kill him if he didn't write about refrigerators.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the children say when the magician pulled a rabbit out of his hat? Nothing, but the parents called Animal Control, and the magician was imprisoned after a dog-fighting ring was discovered in Michael Vick's estate.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

*Knock Knock* "Who's There?" "Delivery" "Oh right, I just ordered pizza"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the black guy go to jail? Because he committed an illegal crime.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal, and this wasn't just any road. It was the new highway built, with frequent traffic jams and a speed limit of 90 mph.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

OMG this actually works! 1. Hold your breath for 5 minutes 2. Die

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did the man hop everywhere? He only had one leg

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What Do You Call A Fake Noodle? ----An Impastaaa!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Moses cross the road? He wanted to play Xbox with his friend Jeff. Moses was a 12 year old boy from California.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

It's a penguin that breathes by its asshole. One day, he sits down, and he dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

a person who will soon die of beeties

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many black guys does it take to change a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you get your girlfriend's yapping Chihuahua to be quiet? Throw it through a window.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

KEVIN CRUMMY SMELLS LIKE SARAHS (I)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a guy with alot of money? A rich guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops