Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

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What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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The First National Tree Bank just closed down. Don't worry it started a brand new branch.

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Two reporters walk into Tah rir Square. Both are abused and that's sad.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

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Whats funny about a guy with no legs? I bought him a wheelchair.

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Sam murray got home after school one day, he siad hello to his father and possibly played some Avatar on the D.S

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roses are red violets are microwaves i have amnesia what ma name iiizzz 'SHAWTAY

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

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2 mentally, unstable , woman visit the cinema , and watched "The Sweeney,"they really enjoyed it

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-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

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Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

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A guy walks into a bar. But this was a bar like a pole, so the man ended up with a broken nose.

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A man walks into a bar with an MP5 and proceeds to fire thirteen bullets into a crowd of people, several unarmed bystanders attempt to disarm the gunman but they are promptly ordered to stay back or they too would be fired on, a witness reports gunfire coming from down the street to local emergency services and they arrive quickly, organising a perimeter around the bar, county sherriffs decide it would be safest to wait for a swat team, as reports indicated the gunman may have hostages, however the gunfire appears to have ceased an noone has entered or exited the building since police arrived on scene. As SWAT arrives on scene and media helicopters circle above, a person emerges from the bar and the gunman appears behind him, he shoots and kills the hostage and then turns the gun on himself, the death toll reached sixteen including the gunman and as many as fourteen people were injured. there was no clear motive to the massacre, but a search of his appartment indicated he was tired of one-liners on typical joke sites and felt his wife's betrayal with his best friend was too much to bare and he simply snapped after losing his job in the current economic situation.

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Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A coyote walks into a bar, because human development has rapidly destroyed his natural habitat. He mauls three patrons.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cancer

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wnna here a joke, toby limbers playing basketball

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Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

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THER ONCE WAS A jueny WITH A TEN FOOT WENNY AND HE WENT TO SHOW IT TO THE LADY NEXT DOOR SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A SNKE SO SHE HIT IT WITH A RAKE AND NOW ITS ONLY FIVE FOOT FOUR!

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Why was the school girl called a dork. Because a whale penis is called a dork, and she identically resembles a giant aquatic dick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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