Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

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Knock knock! Go away. I'm busy masturbating, and it would be extremely awkward if you were to entire my residence at this time. Please return at a later hour.

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

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What happened to the asian when he took viagra? He got an erection.

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a very large and muscly guy walks into a bar and finds a scrawny white guy he asks him if he has ever been in a fight with someone bigger then him the man says no the large man then leaves the bar and they both continue on with their day

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Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

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Two blonds walk into a building....they couldnt see it.

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Math Problem: John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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What do you call a blue chair A black person

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A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

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Why did the rooster cross the road? To go play with the other roosters.

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Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

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How do you confuse a blonde? Try and teach her the finer points of Quantum Physics without allowing her to take any notes, and then test her on it.

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I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

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If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

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What did the Rabbi get for Christmas? Nothing because as you know Rabbi's are members of the Jewish community and therefore don't celebrate Christmas.

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There was once a little boy who started feeling sick. His mother gave him some soup. He died anyway.

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Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

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Q: what's red and covers an elementary school wall? A: a red crayon

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what has two lags and red all over? :a cat in a chinies restrunt...

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Your mom's so fat that she is going to contract heart disease by age 30.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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