Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She didn't have a dog.

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How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

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In the time it has taken you to read this, a small African child has died.

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What happened to the boy who crossed the road without looking both ways? He was abducted by aliens.

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Whats green and fluffy? Your mom.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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Why do all asians all look alike? Because they do.

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Why didn't the black boy get any presents from Santa? Because he isn't real.

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Q: Why did the policeman stare at the big-breasted victim? A: She was dead.

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Knock Knock Who's There 42

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it felt like it!

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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How does a black man laugh? He schuckles

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Women. One of the genders a human can be.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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A horse trots into a bar. He is left with a bump on his head.

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what do you call a black man in the dark? missing.

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs sitting at your doorstep? matt what do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the water? bob what do you call a man that just had his daughter taken away from him? ...sam

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What is dull and has no point? A pencil without its point

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How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

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How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

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Teachers be like "Hold on class, I am almost done with my lesson!" Students: " Aint nobody got time 4 dat!"

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An eagle and a mouse sat on a tree branch, watching a farmer walk to the pasture to milk his cows. The eagle then turned to the mouse but said nothing, because eagles cannot speak. The eagle then ate the mouse because it was a bird of prey.

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Vote this up or I'll tell my mum!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops