* pretend your an orphan Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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a dumb blond walks into a hair salon and gets her hair died brown... she is now a dumb brunette

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what cuts the grass on christmas eve and lives in mexico? JP I lied about Mexico jackin it in san diego

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

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chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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Why did the black man have drugs? He had a very serious medical condition that involved putting himself at a high risk at any time without proper medications, therefore he requires drugs to sustain him and hopefully prevent him from dying. To immediately believe that he was in possession of illegal drugs is a very racist assumption that is representative of one of the numerous racial problems that faces our society today.

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What do you get when you cross Bambi and a ghost? Bamboo

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Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

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What happened when the high school student had intercourse with his history teacher? orgasmic noises.

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But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

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So two people have conversation Luke: Hi Logan: Hi Snake eyes: ALHSKjagjdaoggj;jdjg;aj;kaj'dgajd Luke: You are so smart! (you retarted piece of poo) Logan: GAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBEEEEEEN

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Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

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If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a mexican? The skin pigmentation and most likely the size of their penis

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A man came home from work and said to his wife im going to kill u

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What's the difference between a prostitute and your mom? Your mom is a well educated lawyer who earns half a million dollar a year while the prostitute sells her own body for an extremely small amount of money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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