In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call it when you take cheese that isn't yours? Stolen bitch, your under-arrest!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the tiger.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a black man with a gun? Officer.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the Mexican cross the border? He wanted to live a better life in pursuit of freedom and a better job.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you get from M&M bags? M&Ms.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What was the color of the big lipped, struggling rap artist who violently raped and killed a young woman after robbing a convenience store at gunpoint? Red. He was covered in blood.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the dog die? He was old

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

whats brown and sticky? Doody

thumb_up thumb_down -3

a man walked into a bar today he suffers from depression from his wife leaving him and taking custody of the children on the grounds that he is an alcoholic and is unfit to raise children

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What has two legs and is red all over? Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you break your fan in the summer You dont its hot and you need it

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do Lincoln, JFK, and Barack Obama all have in common? They were all president of the United States of America and are relatively good people.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many rats does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But they have to be really small.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops