What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend? I have AIDS.

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what has 52 teeth and holds back a monster? my zipper

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What would George Washington do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Q:What do you call a cow with no legs? A:A hamburger.

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So i was writing a letter to my girlfriend on valentines day right ? So this is how it goes . " hey lisa happy volentines day!" my black friend walks up to me and says" its a mightyfine day out! " The moral of the story is... Tomatoes can't fly planes

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roses are red violets are blue I hear a bus...

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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A duck walks into a bar.... Duck: Can I have a glass of water? Bartender: How would you like to pay for it? Duck: Put it on my bill

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes And now so do you

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A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

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Where's Waldo? The cemetery, he died last week.

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Your social life.

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Due to the wildlife conservation program prevalent in the neighborhood, the chicken was able to cross the road safely.

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What is dangerous when eaten? My grandmother's cooking?

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When life gives you lemons...you probably just found lemons.

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Women are like fish. It's hard to tell when they are crying underwater.

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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You sick fiend

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What's brown and red but looks purple? Mixed paint!

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wanna here a dirty joke? Suree A white horse fell in a mud puddle dum dumdum dum duuuuuuummmm

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how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 16 if the ice cream melts

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Terrorist walked into the bar, all dead, except for a small child. The police came and asked the boy: "Boy, how I survived the blast?" The boy answered: "I'm not a boy, I am broccoli"

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Why did Rosie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus...

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What is the diffrents between a Mexican and a elevator? one can raise children the other is a mexican!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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