What's worse than seeing your goldfish die? Watching your grandfather have a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Miscarriages.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call an unexpected pregnancy? A defective condom.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

In Soviet Russia you drive car, because a car driving you would be screwed up.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Scenario: A man is being mugged in an alley Mugger: Give me your wallet! I have a gun! Victim: You don't have the balls. Mugger: Oh yeah! I have 3 balls! Victim: Well I have 2, you should probably get that checked.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are black Violets are black A black person died

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall. First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

knock knock whos there guy with a gun guy with a gun who guy with a gun who just shot you dammit

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the black guy said when he ate a pie? Nothing, he learned not to speak with a full mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you kill a blonde? Pull the pin and throw it back...then proceed to paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

whats worse than having a gay friend ? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I'm gonna say something that is going to blow you(away). My Rape Dungeon has carpet.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? It's dependent on many factors, like the size of the babies and the tub. It would be a horrific endeavor, and you should probably stop thinking about such things.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

My friend harris is fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what did one black man say to the other black man? hello

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So heres a scenario. You and your twin brother are Siamese twins. You are straight and your brother is gay. Your bother has a friend come over. You only have one butt....

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A guy wearing a top hat walks into a bar. He says, "Ow."

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How do you suppress a black hole? Surround it with white holes

thumb_up thumb_down -6

This is a joke...that your supposed to laugh at.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A black man breaks into a car, he doesn't steal anything because that would a violation of the car owner's privacy.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you do if you are locked inside a car with a baseball bat? Unlock the car

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops