Games stop telling me to press any key to continue. That key doesn't exist.

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CAS

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Where did the 5 gay guys go? One direction

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D/M/Y ~~ Take 21/12/2012 Flip it upside down Take the 2's out from both ends (1/12/201) Take out all the ones and two's (//0) Take your zero and turn it 90 degrees to the right Take out the forward slashes What you are left with, a potato.

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sometimes i take my duck a shower, i always use cold water because if i use hot water it will think im cooking it.

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a swing set? No? Well neither did she.

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Why didn't andrea clean the dishes? She had no hands

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What did the one legged girl do when her apartment caught on fire? She tried to hop to safety, but died of smoke inhalation.

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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how do you get expelled? Rape a special ed kid.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts.

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So this drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later she has a misscarrage

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What did the chicken say to the cow? Cluck cluck Knock knock Who's there Chicken Chicken who? Chicken go cluck cluck, cow go moo Piggie go oink oink, how 'bout you?

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When there's something strange in your neighborhood, who ya gonna call? The Police. There's something strange in your neighborhood.

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How do you make an Indian explode? Push the red button

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Where do you find a baby with no arms or legs? Where you left it.

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What do dead babies and trash both have in common? They're both in my dumpster.

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Whats worse than passing out drunk and having your friends draw on your face? When you die of alcohol poisoning in the morning

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How Do You Fart Eat Beans

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Q what do you do when your friend tells you hes a homosexual A. you tell him that you will accept him and can still be very good friends

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What's brown and has four wheels? Wood, I lied about the wheels.

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Cleavlin has a shmaaala dik

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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