What happened to the man who ate a piece of pizza after doing a lot of sit ups, while rubbing the belly of a fat man, and feeding his baby at the same time? He Lived

thumb_up thumb_down -16

STOP LOOKING AT MY JOKE

thumb_up thumb_down +39

John has 37 candy bars and eats 36 of them? What does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Where do cows go when they're bored? Wherever they're standing. Cows cannot use toilets, regardless of their mood.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

¿Por qué seis de los siete miedo? ¡Porque siete ocho nueve!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do a bench and a mexican have in common? (don't worry it's not racist) You'll find both in a park. (I lied)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A possesed goat: "moo"

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Roses are red, Violets are blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worst than missing a doctors appointment? Having AIDS and missng out on getting a cure that could have gotten rid of your disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red-ish Violets are blue-ish If it weren't for Jesus we'd all be jewish

thumb_up thumb_down +46

The day after Christmas a chain-smoker, a sex addict, and an alcoholic go to the doctor. The doctor tells the three friends that they need to quit their addiction or they will die. R.I.P. Tommy, Jacob, and Winston 1/1/2011

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What did man who had diarrhea say to the other man? "I have to go to the toilet."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza is an inanimate object, while a black man is a person. racist F.u.c.k.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Spotto

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats worse than shitting in a urinal??? shitting in a shower

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than the holocost? 6 Million Jews

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why do they call you the interrup... SHUT UP!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the black man get a welfare check? Because he was either unemployed and decided he wanted someone to keep feeding his family, or decided to push forth the unfortunate stereotype of African-Americans not wanting to work and being lazy. Or maybe he didn't, why don't you ask him?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many light bulbs does it take to garner an unnecessarily large crowd of a single ethnic group of people working together to simultaneously replace said light bulbs and uphold their cultural stereotypes? What the hell's a light bulb? I'm a culturally illiterate Amish man.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? As they can't find any, they are just squirrels, they can not asist little timmy choking on the lightbulb rolling around on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Okay okay, its not like I wanted a serious answer anyway, bye!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Wanna know my life in a nutshell? Well you can't. Life is an inanimate object an will therefore not fit inside anything, let alone a nutshell.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats a porn stars favorite number? 69...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops