A Duck walks into a bar.

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I like turtoes.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? I'm allergic to milk.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought is was yours.

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Are you Jamaican? Because your dreadlocked hair is an iconic symbol of one who would be from the country of Jamaica.

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Do you know what lmnop is? No. A group of five consecutive letters.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue. The pen is blue. THE GOD DAMN PEN IS BLUE!!!!

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roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

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So a man walks into a bar, And because he is dressed in such a way that was thought of as threatening to the general safety of the highly valued customers, he is shot eight times in the head.

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this is stupid .... yep

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Zafarfanugen the third: Why did the chicken cross the road? Bob: Who cares about some dumb chicken crossing the road! I am more interested in why three generations of your family would continually use such a ridiculous name!

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whats purple and brown lucozade sport

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

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When an intellectual was told by someone, "Your beard is now coming in," he went to the rear entrance and waited for it. Another intellectual asked what he was doing. Once he heard the whole story, he said: "I'm not surprised that people say we lack common sense. How do you know that it's not coming in by the other gate?"

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How do you tell if a kitten is alive? Throw it at the wall.

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why was the clown sad? because his wife left him

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Bitch please, you're adopted as well.

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what did the women say when she saw a tiger maul a rabbit? she didn't see it, she was in the kitchen cooking and ironing

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What do you call two Muslims flying an airplane? Pilots

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why do my feet smell so bad? because i havent washed them for 5 days

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Have you seen Helen Keller's house? Well, It's an old style ranch home in a respectable neighborhood.

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Whats sad about 4 blacks riding of a cliff in a cadilac. It was a rental.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops