What do you call love at first sight? A broken heart.

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if youre reading this its probably because youre on anti-joke.com

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I like that, but why am I happy?

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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What's big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? Your mom.

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What's black and white and red all over? My dog after she was hit by a car (true story)

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What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

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Q: whats a bunny's favorite music genre A: smooth jazz

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Q: why was the cow in the middle of the road? A: because it was dead

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the squirrel.

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what tall and looks like a jew?

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, who shat in my garden

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Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face" The horse responds "My daughter has cancer"

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage.

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch names

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No one walks into a bar... because it was closed.

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A dog walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out as animals are not allowed.

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Q. How do you punish Helen Keller? A. Rearrange the furniture in her room

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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a dog walk into a landmine, he exploded.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to its dying chicks who were just run over.

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What Mistake Do Ghosts make? None ghosts dont exist..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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