- Anti Joke

Why did the guy crash his car? Because he didn't want to crash his truck.

An American man walks to Mc Donalds.

An asian is doing math hw then his dad drives through the door

Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication

Why did the boy kill his parents? Because he doesn't understand this joke either

A man is getting bored of his regular life-routine and decides to make a change. He thinks long and hard about what change he should make and after much deliberation he resolves to buy himself a pet camel. After all, some of his more fashionable friends have done this and it seems to make them very happy indeed and attracts to them a lot of attention, which they relish. He pops down to the local pet store and asks the owner "Do you have any camels?". To which the pet store owner replies "Yes of course! They're very popular at the moment and I have a selection out back in the stables. Come and take your pick!" So after inspecting the selection of available camels, the man pays the shopkeeper for the camel and a camel-leash and makes his way home, walking down the street and around the woods that separate the pet shop from his house. The camel is very well behaved and always walks at heel. The man is very happy with his purchase and starts thinking that this was definitely the best decision he could have made to improve his life. That night, the man tucks the camel up in it's straw bed in a makeshift shelter in the back garden, kisses it on the nose and says good night. The next morning, after an excellent nights sleep, he bounds downstairs, eager to have more fun with his camel. He throws open the doors of the shelter, grinning and excitable. But to his horror, he finds that the camel is dead. With no legs! Someone must have sneaked in during the night and killed his camel and taken its legs! The man is inconsolable. He cries and cries, and eventually he summons the energy to lay his camel to rest in a grave at the end of the garden, digging it plenty deep enough and saying a few private words in memory of his dearly loved, departed camel. After this he realises that he wants to try again to have his own camel, and this time he will keep his camel safe and even more comfortable. He will even take the time to give this second camel a name. So he walks to the pet shop, around the woods and down the street and goes to speak to the owner. “I just don’t understand”, says the man. “My camel meant the world to me and someone came along and killed it during the night…. and they took it’s legs.” “Disgusting,” replies the shopkeeper as he saddles up the second camel and exchanges money with the man. Anyway, he takes his camel home, walking down the street and around the woods, promising himself that he will do a better job of protecting it. He calls his brother who comes over from the next town to help him build a strong stables for the new camel and they install a security camera for extra safety. At night, the man kisses his camel on the nose, tucks it in to its hay bed, closes and locks the door, and heads to bed. Feeling warm and safe in the knowledge that this camel is safe and sound in its new home. He decides on a name. “Greg”, he mutters to himself as he falls asleep, “yes, Greg”. The next morning, as he bounds downstairs, calling out Greg’s name, he sees that the security camera is loose and hanging from the wall… He approaches the stable cautiously, with a baseball bat held ready to attack any intruders. What he sees horrifies him. His camel is Dead! Again! And with no legs! “What, oh what is going on?” he mutters to himself in a state of shock and confusion. He cries for a few hours, and buries the remains of the camel in the back garden. “OK,” he thinks to himself. “One more go, and if this doesn’t work, I’ll never buy a camel again!”. So he sets out for the pet shop. This time taking a shortcut through the woods, as it is a nice day and he could do with cheering up. As he passes through the deepest part of the woods he comes across an old mansion house that he has never noticed before… He reflects for a second, and wonders whether he should go and ask them if they’ve been having similar troubles with their camels. He decides there would be no harm in doing so, so he walks up their ivy-covered driveway towards the front door and when he gets there he knocks. Rat-a-tat-tat The heavy door squeaks and opens a touch. “Strange..” he thinks. He pushes harder and swings the door to be fully open. As he does so, the sunlight is allowed to shine in on the dark interior, it looks like a carnival haunted house, with cobwebs on candlesticks and dust everywhere. As the light cascades in, filling the room, and as his eyes adjust he sees a man, old and dishevelled, standing in the middle of the room, still as a statue, surrounded, from wall to wall, by camel legs hanging from the walls. Our man gasps and struggles not to vomit with disgust. He looks at the old man accusingly and in a shaky voiced murmur, he half whispers the words, “Have YOU been stealing my camel legs?” To which the man replies, “No.”

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

What did the rabbit say to the rabbi? ...RABBITS DO NOT TALK! So then the rabbi said, "In that case you must be a hare!"

What is black and white and green and red and purple and orange and magenta and brown and yellow all at the same time? Can you tell me? Cause I've got no clue.

How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "cum" on your face.

Two muffins are in the oven, One says "Damn it, so hot in here," The other one says " Wow! Muffin which can talk!"

Why did I laugh at a joke? Cuz it was funny

Man: Knock knock Man 2: who's there Alzheimer's patient: to get to the other side!

What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was a self-absorbed prick. And, honestly, the chicken and the road weren't that great of friends anyway.

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

Why did the black man go to KFC? Ever since the economic downfall Kentucky Fried Chicken is the only remaining food dispensary in a 5 miles radius.......and hes black

Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

Knock knock Who's there? Stab.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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