i know leaves are green because of chlorophyll but i don't know how to get a mortgage this is the kind if shit your parents pay for

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knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

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Q. How do you know when you've had too much too drink? A. Your dead

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Whats white, black, and red all over? A half eaten penguin

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If monkeys ate trees, than what would trees be made out of? No one knows because that will never happen.

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Q: What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: Nothing, he didn't make it that far

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Q:Why did the rockstar put rollerskates on his rocking chair? A:Because he wanted people to see him rocking and rolling on it.:)

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen and warns him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and otherwise damaging consequences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. Seeing a black pilot is not alarming. If their middle-eastern, however, you have more of a problem.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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What do fish and shoe laces have in common? nothing.

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two men are standing on a roof. Man #1: do you want me to push you off a roof? Man #2: No.

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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Why was the mother sad? Because she had just watched her beloved baby get shoved in a blender.

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Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

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alert("The Game");

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What is black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Black berries.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What's the difference between an Elephant and a Post Box? An Elephant is not a Post Box. It is an Elephant.

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Q: What's funnier than rape? A: Many things such as murder or nuclear warfare.

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

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Guess What! HI!

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So a cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. The bartender, realizing that cats cannot talk nor do they posses higher brain functions, realizes he must be dreaming.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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