How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

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How do you spell Mississippi with out an i? You can't because removing an i from the word Mississippi would cause it to be spelled incorrectly.

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I drink water!

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Your mom is so old, that she should probably up her B-12 intake to avoid sickness.

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Mitt Romney's economic plan for America.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Somebody elses cheese.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? On average 2,950, however, this has not been properly tested due to obvious reasons.

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There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because ie was glued to the other one. why did the third elephant fall out ot the tree? Because he thought it was a game. why did the tree fall? Because there were elephants in it.

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what did the little boy say to the man? Nothing because earlier that day his mom reminded him not to talk to strangers

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a couple argue and spend the night 96ing each other

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josh roberts goes into churches and forces them to listen and go by his religious opinion until they cry

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how do you know if a black man's been on your computer it's gone

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

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so a unicorn walks into a bar... and then i woke up

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Why wasn't the TV remote working? It was out of batteries.

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im black

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Why are black people so good at basketball? because they know how to run shoot and steal

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What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

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Are you from Africa? Because you're black.

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Naturally us at the order of exile, the ones that learn and teach the ways of Nero do not exist. Soon neither will those that speak against us. - Azure Dragon

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What's worse than being annal raped by a black man? Well lots of things are but being raped by a guy who has around a 7 inch penis may be hurtful I'm sure being cut open and eaten alive may be worse;)

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Roses are red but violets arent blue!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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