What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing? I dont know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

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Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Hello? Prankster: Hello is your regrigerator running? Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Yes... Prankster: Oh good. I was just calling to make sure. Have a good day!

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What came first the egg or the hen? your mother did, when I had sex with her last night.

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What is black and white and green and red and purple and orange and magenta and brown and yellow all at the same time? Can you tell me? Cause I've got no clue.

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Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

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Some Minions have one eye, others have two. And nobody seems to care.

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Knock Knock who's there? Steve Steve who? Steve. I already told you my name.

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knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

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Why was the 13 year old drug addict crying? Because somebody shot him in the foot

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Atheism

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What is wrong with this phrase? The next line is false. The first line is true. Answer: llamas

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock-eater.

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Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

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Why was the Tortous and the Hare written? So fat people will feel good about themselves.

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What is yellow and bright? The sun.

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"HEY DUMB FU** THIS STUFF IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY!!!" SAID SIMON COWELL!!!

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A dog walks into a bar. He asks for a drink in perfect english. People scream at the dog's ability to talk and scientists burt in and take the dog to dissect and study his brain, vocal chords, and dna.

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Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are having a baby. Even Stevie Wonder saw that one coming.

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A duck walks into a bar. He sees Khloe Kardashian sitting on a barstool. The duck runs out of the bar screaming.

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a very large and muscly guy walks into a bar and finds a scrawny white guy he asks him if he has ever been in a fight with someone bigger then him the man says no the large man then leaves the bar and they both continue on with their day

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

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I just witnessed a horrible accident today! It was like a silent movie, but with SOUND!!!!

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Q: How much jizz does a gay guy have? A: a butt load

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Their was once a man named Bob Clemens who really wanted to have sex with an underage girl. So one day he went on an online chat site to find one. He ran into this young girl and told her all the things he wanted to do to her and she told him that she had never done anything and really wanted to try it. Bob went over to her house one day and she told him to sit down and grab some cookies while she came back. She came back and Bob gave her the roughest pounding that any human being could recieve.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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