Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

Your mom is so fat, that your gonna get a brother soon.

A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

CAOIMHIN JUST BE QUITE

Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

Roses are red, Wait. Why start this poem when you cant finish it Refrigerator

what's better than winning the special olympics? -not being retarded

Nazi jokes are not funny. ANNE FRANKly they're mean! See What i did there?

Why was the fat kid the last one to lunch? He'd had lead bricks stapled to his ankles by the skinny kids.

What do you call a cat that growls? A cat

knowck knowck whos there? shea shea who? shea...duh!

You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

Why did the audience laugh at Chaz Bono? Because he told a funny joke.

An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where did my tractor go.

Hey

A 55-year-old white man's car is broken, so he decides to take a bus to work that morning. His bus arrives and he gets on. Then he notices the driver's a woman. He pays for his ticket, takes a seat by the window and in about an hour he gets to his office.

Your momma so stupid that it's really inspiring she managed to overcome her limitations and raise such a wonderful family.

A baby crawls into a bar. He cannot walk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...