Knock knock. Come in.

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Two olives are sitting on a table. One loses his balance and rolls off. The other calls down to it, "Oh my gosh, are you okay?" And the olive yells up, "No. I just rolled off a friggin table."

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Q: What is the difference between everything and nothing? A: everything! Moral: NOTHING!

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What's black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

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Yo mama so poor that she's having trouble making ends meet without government assistance.

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Roses are bright, Violets are sad, I like sprite I'm really struggling for ideas at this point

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Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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two elderly men were sitting in the sun discussing their lives. The first man says "my life was horrible as I had to walk to work uphill in the snow with no boots on a daily basis" The second man looks at the first and replies "you know why my life was horrible?.. I was born a jewish man in Germany during the second world war and was injustly judged and harrassed nearly to death on a daily basis"

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nine...eleven

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Why did John suck at sports? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

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why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

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Why couldn't little Timmy turn in his homework? Because on the way to school little Timmy was hit by a bus

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What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

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Why do fat people commit suicide

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If an orange is orange then why isn't a banana called a yellow? Because the word 'banana' comes from the Arabic word for finger as it obviously resembles a finger. The person that named the orange was equally lazy, but just not Arabic.

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Rose are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, Now so do you.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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My friend Edward found a worm in his apple. Edward happened to be a lemur. Lemurs eat both plants and worms, so he ate them both.

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what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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Murray Harnett Smells like a dirty Burringbar Whore!

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A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation. ~Yashar - pirater un compte facebook Peace out :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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