knock,knock who's there? the postman didn't answer as he is deaf

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A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

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Why's the sun red? It's not it's orange.........retard

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Why didn't the woman cook dinner for her husband? She had to work late.

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A man finds an old lamp, rubs it, and releases the genie trapped inside. The genie grants him three wishes. So the man wishes for a million more wishes and uses them all wisely,

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How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

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I dropped two snare drums and a cymbal down a hole earlier. They're probably broken now.

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Miškinis gerai prikolina.

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Q: How do you get a kleenex to dance? A: Put a little boogey in it!

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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Your momma went to the gym, because she is fat.

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A mans wife gets pregnant after he has a visectomy... She was artificially inseminated using sperm he froze before the operation

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how do you make a cat blink? strike him with a hammer.

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Whats Big, Brown, and smells like Horse Crap? Horse Crap

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What's worse than getting a detention? Slavery...just kidding that was a good thing!

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roses are red violets are blue does this smell like chloroform

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what do friends and trees have in common? If you hit them with an axe multiple times they fall over

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You tie a noose around your neck, you jump off a cliff and before you hit the ground you shoot yourself in the head.

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If Billy has 4 apples in his left hand and 6 apples in his right hand, what does he have? Very large hands.

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Q. What do you get when a banana and a person mate? A. The banana suffocates

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every cloud has a silver lining

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Why did the girl run across the street? Because she was being chased by a man with a knife

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Why doesn't it rain on Sundays? It does.

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In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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