Knock knock! Who's there? Me.

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Your wife died during the delivery.

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What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

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How did the man jumping out of the plane at 33,000 feet survive? Because he had a parachute

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Why did chuck norris die Brain tumor

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How do you make a black plumber cry? - kill his whole family

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When life gives you lemons. Don't take things from strangers

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My friend was driving me home from a party, and was quite drunk. I was relieved that we did not get into a car crash.

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Grab your Taco, you've pulled a dyslexic Mexican

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem is random Microwave

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Why can't we see the wind? Because no one likes you...

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Me: Hey Chris! Chris: WTF.u.c.k

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How do you keep an idiot busy? Give him something to do.

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You know what I'm thinking of right now? Eyebrows

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two elephants in a bathtub Elephant 1: pass me the soap Elephant 2: no, radio!

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why did mary fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didnt she get back up? Cause she had no friends. Knock knock whos there Definately not mary !

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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3 women are on a plane. One blonde, one brunnete, and the other a red head. The pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. The 3 women find out that there is only one parachute in the plane. The plane crashes and they all die.

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roses are red violets are blue i have alziemers what are we talking about again

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When life gives you lemons, you are most likely in the fruit section of the grocery store.

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Whats blue and flufft Answer: Blue Fluff

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What's worse then finding a finger in your Chili? Getting Mollested by a Pterodactyl.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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