Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

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Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti-joke? Nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his mother at the hospital who is dying of cancer.

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What was black, then white, now dead all over? Michael Jackson.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

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A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

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why did the guy throw his clock out the window? because he wanted to see a clock fall out the window

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Why was the mexican ugly? -UR MOM!

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A paraplegic wheels himself into a bar. The barman asks, 'What can I get you?' 'Nothing,' replies the paraplegic, 'I've just pissed myself and I need you to help me clean myself up.'

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How do you confuse an idiot? By confusing an idiot.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A person who has black, white, and red paint on his or her body.

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edmond alward. handyman services. call 0858430803.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The interrupting doctor. The inter-- --You have cancer.

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Forward this anti-joke to at least 15 people And absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen in the next 10 minutes.

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Why did the Jew have very bad gas? He had very rough anal sex and air got stuck up his bum

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Q: what do you call a bunch of dead accountants? A: the holacost.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i'd put my penis in your mouth

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how do you get a scouters power level to 9,000? power levels dont exist in real life therefore cannot reach 9,000

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An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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What's 9 + 10 19 AB

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How can you tell if a substance is an acid or a base just by looking at it? You can't. pH or Litmus paper would be necessary in order to determine whether a substance is an acid or a base.

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what do you say to a black guy on steroids? B!tch please

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Roses are red, violets are blue, Flappy Bird is no where near as annoying as you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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