What do you call cheese that's not yours? STOLEN! You're under arrest.

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Q. When's The Best Time To Wear A Striped Sweater? A. All The Time.

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Why did the dog bark at the tall white man? Because the tall white man was in the process of attempting to rob the house in which said dog was situated. The dog was merely defending its patch.

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What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

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What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

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What do Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder have in common? They're both well known figures who have inspired many.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? A family friend paying a visit.

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What did one German man say to the other? Wo ist das Badezimmer?

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Why was the man sad? Cause his dog fell off a cliff

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Yo mama is so fat, she just had a heart-attack. She's dead.

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Q; What feels like plastic and tastes fake? A: School Food

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What do you call a puppy with no limbs? It doesn't matter, he's never coming back.

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this kid named terry was sitting in computer class then he got punched in the face

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God is the English name given to a singular being in theistic and deistic religions who is either the sole deity in monotheism, or a single deity in polytheism. He (I use the term 'He' as it is the most common conception) is said to be omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, and omnibenevolent. I highly doubt he will give you lemons.

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whats red and and smells like blue paint red paint

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When I eat Mi Familia Mexica food, it burns when I go to the bathroom. Is that bad?

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Why was the boy sad? Because He had a frog stapled to his face

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Yo mama's so ugly that the majority of people find her physically unattractive, but I hear her personality if great.

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What did the dinosaur say to the caveman? Nothing. Dinosaurs were wiped off the earth due to a tragic, world wide extinction about 65 million years ago while small mammals which would eventually evolve into humans survived.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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what is fat, sweaty, and italian? Italians

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"Do you wanna hear a funny joke?" Yeah, Sure! "A funny joke."

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What is 100(1+1) -100 + 50 x2 - 300? 0. But who cares? The answer is as worthless as you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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