Why did the guy eat his mom? people get hungry in this world

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have multi-personality disorder. Patient: Which one of us?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why couldn't the little boy see? His eyes were closed.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink Bartender: Why the long face Man: My wife was recently killed in a horrible car accident Bartender: Oh my god, I'm so sorry Man: Jks I have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +3

One sunny Tuesday morning, Tom and his friends were outside playing at the park. Then, suddenly, a violent storm was rapidly approaching. It was recommended that everyone should seek shelter immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, My Heart Skips A Beat, When I Think Of You! :D

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A boy and a girl are each granted a wish Girl: I want us to be lovers until the end of the world Boy: I want the world to end

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did man who had diarrhea say to the other man? "I have to go to the toilet."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What happened when a black lady sat in the front on a bus? She didn't vomit because she could see the road, which helped with her motion sickness. Also the driver got in a better mood because he had company, and the lady was a pleasant person.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between a black man and a couch? One is a human being and one is a piece of furniture.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Hey Lady Gaga, Madonna called, she wants her clothes back; she lend them to you weeks ago for a concert because you didn't have anything to wear and you haven't returned them yet.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats brown and sticky? A Stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What's red and has zippers? Nothing, because watermelons can't physically drive without the help of a sheeps spinal cords ... DUH

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock Knock. Hello Frank! How'd you know it was me? There is a window next to the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did rosa parks get for christmas? -Racism

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your wife has been killed in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's smaller then a midget? A baby midget.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did one lawyer say to the other? Hello

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the man have a finger coming out of his ear? He had a birth defect.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did Hitler shoot himself He saw his his gas bill

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops