Your mamma is so fat that she went on a diet.

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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Why do we learn about the Civil Rights Movement in History class? So it won't happen again.

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Why did the chicken run across the road? It was 9/11

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Why does Mario wear coveralls? Because it makes practical sense for his full time job as a plumber.

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What do a comb and a guitar have in common? Neither of them can climb trees.

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2 guys are in a bar joking and having a good time. One guy looks to the other and says, "So...HOWS your wife?" The man replies "...She died in a horrible car accident." The man's friend then says "...I am sorry to hear that.." "Yeah I know I wish that God damn rat wasn't in the road goddamn fucker"

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A couple of years back a went to chile for a day, I was then trapped underground for 70 days...

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What did the old man say to kid who was begging to his mommy? Shut up.

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A man goes into the doctors office for his yearly checkup. The man waits patiently for several minutes until the doctor is ready to see him. After about ten minutes pass, the doctor is ready to see him. The man enters the doctors office. He passes all of the necessary tests. The doctor and him talk for a while. After a few minutes, the doctor says, "Okay, thanks for coming. See you next year." The man thanks the doctor and leaves.

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How do you stop a baby alien from crying? Watch what its mother does to soothe it and then try and copy that.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like to slap hookers

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What was the pirates grade? Arrr That isn't a valid grade

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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Why are fat people fat? Because they like food.

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What's the difference between a Corvette and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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Q: Why do sharks live in salt water A: Because if they don't the die from blood loss because their blood-cells swell up and explode in non- salty water.

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A skeleton walks into a bar, asks for a mug of beer and a washcloth.

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Once you go black you may be more open to dating a second black person.

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Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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Lol... (wow you made me type lol), "like it is nothing to be ashamed of?" Your eyes are really beautiful, honestly probably the most beautiful eyes I have seen... And no, I am not talking about your bewbs.

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Two whales are in a bar. One says, "whoaohaoahwoahwahoh" The other says, "Go home, Frank. You're drunk."

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what do they do to dead Mexicans? skin them and make them in to wet suites.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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