How long does it take a black woman to take a shit? Why in the world would you want to know something like that? But anyway, the answer is somewhere, on average, between 10 seconds and 15 minutes. It really varies and conditions like irritable bowel syndrome and constipation affect this range. Actually it takes about 9 months.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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What's for dinner tonight? Your mom's vagina.

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What walks on four in the morning, three at noon, and two at night? A baby with leprosy.

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Why did i write this joke knowing i wont get published? I don't know.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced to against his will by a group of marauding ninjas who happened to be strolling by at the time.

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How do you get an asian out of a rice field? Napalm.

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whats worse than sitting next to jack grindey nothing

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How many dull people does it take to replace a lightbulb? One.

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What says "Mooo"? A goat with an identity crisis.

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Suck my bigvagina you faggetass bitchybuns

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What's worse than finding twelve dead babies nailed to a tree? One living baby nailed to twelve trees.

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The cat climbed a tree. It didn't want to come down, so it starved to death.

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A man drives home from a bar one night, He is under the influence and his reckless driving will costs many innocent people their lives.

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Why didn't the boy buy his mom a gift for Christmas? He was killed by a drunk driver two years ago

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Yo momma soo fat, she got diabetes and died

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Did you hear about the cannibal who ate the Olympic record sprinter? He's in prison for first-degree murder & crimes against humanity.

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A Elephant was going to fight against the biggest and toughest and meanest giant African desert mouse! The battle the animal kingdom had waited for centuries! *DING!* Elephant: Get up Mickey! Mouse: Squish! Disney: How big do you really think a African "giant" desert mouse is?

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Punch line.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, whose dick was so long he could provide women with more pleasure than the average male.

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Person #1: Hello captain obvious. Person #2: Hello.

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What looks like half of an apple? The other half.

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Why didn't the African kid eat lunch? He wasn't hungry.

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Freeza: I am the strongest in the universe! (if you ignore my brother Coola which is much stronger and all...) Goku: You have pissed me off now Freeza, I will now turn into a super Asian and prove to the world that real Asians are actually blonde and blue eyed! (I am sure Goku means Sayans, which is "completely different") Goku: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG! Freeza: Omg, he... he... is trying to take a dump! IMPOSSIBLE! I will have to find his balls and caress them... Will Goku ever take a shit? Or reach all new levels of constipation during the series? Find out in the next episode of dragon ball z!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops