How do you keep kids off your lawn? You molest them.

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Why didn't the man have a vagina? Trick Question. Everybody has a vagina.

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you: Why did the chicken cross the road? them: "To get to the other side...?" you: Oh! *stare*

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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pup

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The blond detective was searching a crime scene and replied to the police officer, "I smell something fishy about this situation." She was on her period as a matter of fact, and bled all over her trousers.

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Why did Michael Jackson die Cuz

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Why did the crab blush? It didn't because crab's can't blush.

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

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What do you call a black guy doing community service? Someone who wanted to give back. Stop being racist.

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What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

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Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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why did jim die? he had cancer why did jim have no hair? it started to fall out when he was 20 and now he is bald at 30 years old

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What do you call a black guy that drives a plane? A pilot

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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What did the duck say to the pickle? Quack

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What do a turtle and a bowling ball have in common? Nothing

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A guy asked his Girlfriend to marry him. She said Hey! a Dump Truck! and the mental Boyfriend forgot all about the Proposal and was amazed by the Dump Truck.

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Why did the kid drop his football? He had a heart attack

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Why couldn't Jesus get a driver's license? Because automobiles did not exist 2000 years ago.

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Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

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What call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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