Did you hear about the guy that lost the whole left side of his body? Well, he's all right.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

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Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he was hungry. The teacher would stupid to say it was a piece of cake

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Whats the same between a baby and pizza? their both edible

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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A blind guy walks into a bar because he can't see.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and mop. In turns out the bartender was a paranoid schizophrenic and was hallucinating.

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There was a curtain who sneezed and then asked you for a tissue. He was in a room with two chairs a coffee table and a 37 year old bookcase, why did he sneeze???? Because he had a cold!!????

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy??? Just different pigmentation of their skin.

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What do you get six year old Hitler for his birthday? An Easy Bake Oven

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Who won the race? I don't know look it up.

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How do you make a health inspector give you a good report? Throw his family into a pack of alligators.

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My bologna has a first name It's O-S-C-A-R... My bologna has a second name It's M-A-Y-E-R... Oscar and Mayer were the names of the pig and the cow that were slaughtered and subsequently processed into the bologna I am eating.

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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Cat got your tongue? Punch it in the face, and retrieve your tongue.

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What did the gay kid in high school say? I'm straight.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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Why did the old man step on the caterpillar? For fun.

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roses are red violets are blue you should have been aborted

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What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

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Q: If it takes a chicken a day and a half to lay an egg and a half, then how long would it take a monkey to kick the seeds off of a dill pickle. A: I don't know. That's a stupid question.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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