A bus full of retarded kids got broken on his way. One kid suggested to the bus driver that the problem could be with the brakes, as that kid's father was a mechanic.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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knock knock who's there who who who and if u sat something about an owl I'll kick u in the face u fat cike

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If life throws you melons, you might be dyslexic.

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What do you do if your batteries die and you have none left? Go to your nearest battery selling retail store and buy some more.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

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why do midgets surf in kitchens? because of microwaves.

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A black man walks into a bar He looks at the menu and realizes he's in a bar, so he leaves

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Knock knock *silence* Knock knock *silence* KNOCK KNOCK! Hey! Can't you read the sign?! It's says "Do Not Disturb!"

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. He is soon kicked out as he is underage.

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Two horses were in a field. One said "this is a good place to hide". The other said, "well, let's hope they don't Findus here!"

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What is the best type of pepper? Well, some people say that the yellow pepper is the sweetest and most delicious, although others prefer red, green or orange peppers.

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What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Here comes a car, It ran over m--

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Q: What's the difference between Catholism and Judiasm? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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Your momma is so old, she has lived a wonderful, long life and witness a lot of human achievement.

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There was once a man who went to the store and walked across a bridge and bought toothpaste and yelled at a hobo and went home and took a nap and then he went back to the park where he talked to an english teacher who told him not to use run-on sentences or she would slap him with a fish.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

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How do you teach another person's son to ride a bike? You don't. Let his real parents teach him to ride a bike.

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You: I have a really funny Knock Knock joke but you have to start it. Someone Else: Okay, Knock Knock You: Who's there? (now watch their face as they become confused)

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Q: Where do you go when its cold? A: A corner because its 90 degrees.

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Knock, knock (No one was home)

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Your momma so stupid, she speaks poorly and can't spell very well.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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