If you work at Penn State you might want to skip the annual "bring your kid to work day"

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What do you call a guy who can't get a girlfriend? Me.

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Boss: Do you know what lazy means? Employer: Yes, adopting a child.

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what did the plane say to the trade center on 9/11 boom

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Why did the middle-eastern man fly his plane into the Empire State Building? Because he was a bad pilot with an interest in American architecture.

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There is more than one way to skin a cat. I used a potato skin peeler.

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A Priest, a Rabbi and an Imam were having dinner together at a local restaurant. Which caused a group of Republicans sitting nearby to ask for another table.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he had an undescended testicle

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Whats orange and has stripes? - a tiger

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When life gives you lemons you squirt them in someones eyes and steal what life gave them.

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ROB SNIEDER ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS A CAARRRRROT! rated pg-13

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A flea walks into a bar. Nobody notices because it is a very small insect

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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What did Niel Patrick Harris do after coming out of the closet? He grabbed his jacket and went for a delightful stroll in the park.

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Two Lawyers were talking to one another. The first lawyer said, "Wow this is the fourth case I've won in a row!" The other lawyer did not know how to respond because of the men the other lawyer put in jail had escaped from jail and already killed the lawyer's family.

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

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Q: Wgat do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

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Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

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Why did the prince kiss his beloved just before going into battle? Intermission.

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What is the difference between a pillow and a rock The rock could hert you.

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A man walks into a bar, and says to the bartender, "Do you know where the library is located?" The bartender describes to him that the closest library is three blocks down, next to the red brick building with a green roof.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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I went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog, it was a shitzu

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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