whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings. whats worse than 2 bee stings? 3 beestings

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A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

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Your mother is so fat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being chased by other cannibal chickens.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ...because chickens love to confound people.

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Knock knock. Come right on in.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the city on the other side. He hoped he could find work in one of the city's cheap factories. He needed money for his family: he could not bear to see them slowly starve for any longer. If he could get a lowly-paid job he may be able to just sustain them. But he knew it could not last for long. He would probably die on the streets or in the slums, cold, lonely and starving. But it was a risk worth taking - he could not see his own family waste slowly away like so many of his friends had.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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Q. How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? A. That obviously depends on the size of the bathtub and each individual infant.

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how many baby's does it take to paint a wall?? depends how hard u throw them

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What's a skeleton's favorite type of music? Nothing. Skeletons are just the decomposed remains of a being that was once living.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at a grocery store? Because I wanna spill some milk on the floor so they can call spill on aisle 9 and I'll be there waiting for you and watch you clean my mess.

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Whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with one alive at the bottom. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies with one alive at the bottom? It having to eat its way out. Whats worse than it having to eat its way out? It comes back for seconds.

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Q: Why did you get raped last week? A: Because at night you touch yourself to pictures of rapists.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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What does a kid with no arms and legs get for christman.... Cancer...

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poop

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Poker? I barely even know her.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a carrot? One's a human, the other's a vegetable.

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3 guys walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

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A man walks into a bar. On the way home, he is driving, careers off the road and crashes. Lesson here. Don't walk into poles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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