- Anti Joke

Q: What's worse than finding a hundred dead babies, in one bin? A: Finding one dead baby, in a hundred bins.

Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

Yo mama's so fat that they have to grease the door frame and hold a twinky on the other side to get her through.

Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

What did the homeless man get for his birthday. Nothing. Get it: He lived a life along with a giant family and on christmas eve 2012 he broke his kneecap and was in the E.R. He got out of the hospital on christmas only to come home to find a burning house; his house. Every member in his family died except for him as they were all in the house when it caught on fire. The house completely burnt and crumbled, and that is why he is homeless.

What did the dog say to the other dog? Woof.

Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

Why did Helen Keller's cat kill itself? It didn't, I did.

How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all broke beyond repair.

why didn't love legs cross the road because he had no balls

If you're head weren't attached to your shoulders... you'd be dead.

What's the difference between a dead black man in the road, and a dead dog in the road? One is a human being that probably leaves behind family and friends that will miss his absence. The other is an animal that will also be missed, but to a lesser degree since dogs don't form a bond with people other than the family it shared its life with. In either of the two cases, if I witnessed the accident that caused the death, I would promptly notify the authorities so as to make sure that the driver of the vehicle that hit them would be subjected to a breathalyzer test.

How do you get a Virginia graduate off of your porch? Pay him for the pizza

How many owls can you fit in a bath tub?

How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

What did Helen Keller say? Obcojbcidjbcidjbdijcbd

One white male lives in a city with all blacks. He puts up with gang violence nearly every day.

your mommas so fat she has been advised to diet and excercise or run the risk of terminal illness

captcha: all yer base

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops