Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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Why couldn't Timmy ride a bicycle? Because Timmy was a goldfish

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Sooo, when exactly did you become a man? Is this subject boring you?

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What's worse than tornadoes in the USA? Earthquakes in Japan.

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"hey do you know the date" "58"

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Did you know that all of the seasons are named after coils of metal? Except Winter... And Autum... And Summer...

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How many NRA members does it take to change a lightbulb? MORE GUNS!

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What's funnier than a dead baby? Everything.

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What's bigger than a breadbox? Whitney Houston's coffin.

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why did the man steal change from the tip jar? he wanted another state quarter for his collection

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how do you wake up lady gaga? scream in her ear.

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What did the Englishman say to the Irishman? "I am from England"

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Women"s Rights

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What do you call a Mexican named Chicee? Chicee

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one time when i bought a sonic blast they gave me a regular? size spoon and i was like this is a huge inconvenience.

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I hi Jacked your car And killed your family

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whats green and slimy? green slim

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What's grey and looks good on policemen? your mom.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? This website is terrible. Are you servers from 1990? I hope you all get cancer.

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Q- Why was Dan mourning the death of his wife? A- He wasn't he was mourning the death of his daughter who was killed in the same car crash as her mother.

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How many Coldplay members can you fit in a car? All of them, the standard car has four seats or more. Coldplay has 4 members so it makes perfect logical sense

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops