Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

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A little boy running with scissors he trips and falls and dies

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(read this aloud): A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. Him and the giraffe order multiple shots and get hammered. The giraffe on the other hand can't hold his liquor so well, and ends up passing out on the floor of the bar. The man decides to leave him there and take off. On his way out, the bartender yells, "Hey, you can't just leave that lyin' there!" and the man says, "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"

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What did the autistic man say to the woman? I have autism

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Q: What did one candle say to the other? A: Nothing, the mere thought of candles being able to possess the ability of speech is preposterous beyond any of the highest capabilities known to man.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

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whats worse than getting hit whit a baseball? getting hit by a train

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What did the man say to the really attractive woman? We are different genders

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The ULTIMATE Street Fighter shotokan safety guide one Turbo masters tournament X Revenge Kombat Super Ultimate Alpha Omega F*** Y** Edition! 1. I case an attack breaks both your legs, use your last remaining strength in order to kick the air with one leg, while keeping the other one straight down, then immediatedly yell MYLEGSARBROKEN! In order to receive medical attention. And please remember: If Hadou can, then you Sure can! 2. DLC ONLY 3 DLC ONLY 4. DLC Only. ...hayball rolls trough... 9001: DLC only

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knock knock Who's there? because 7 ate 9

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Why did the Mexican fall off of a cliff? He lost is ballence.

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Knock knock whos there? me oh, cool... well come in.

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Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

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Do unto others as others would do unto you, said the rapist.

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Whats worse than a paper cut? AIDS.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?? Where's my tractor?

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knock knock who's there your family just died your family just died who? -.-

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a priest a rabbi and a minister all walk into a bar and the bartender says "is this a joke?"

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How do u kill somebody You throw a fridge at him

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Why did German "shower heads" have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers.

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What did the black man do when he walked into the bar? He went up the bartender and bought a beer.

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whats round and like a ball a ball

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What is funnier than shooting a man in the face? Most things, shooting a man in the face is a terrible crime.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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