Dead girls can't say no.

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I called this hot girl up from class one day. She told me to come over because no one was home. I got to her house, and no one was home.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

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What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

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how many blonds does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one, because she is an intelligent and capable woman

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How do you make a man sad? By drowning him in a Bede.

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My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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Why do black people like fried chicken? There's cocaine inside.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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What Did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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Why was the women not in the kitchen? Because she was probably doing something else

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And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, "The one whom I kiss is the one you seek. " To which they responded, "Gay. "

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Why was the iPhone screen cracked? Because it was dropped on a rock.

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I was flying in the sky but lost control and crashed. I woke up on the floor.

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A man jumps of the roof of his building. The superindentant now owns the building and the man who jumped off the building has 59 fractures. Oh and he died.

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Q. Why was the boy depressed? A. Because he lives in a world where apparently all girls are right.

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i have to tell you a knock knock joke. but you have have to start it..

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What did the homeless black guy write on his sign? need money for weed.

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How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

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What's brown and Rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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Who can walk on water? Not the guy in the wheelchair.

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why did the boy fall of the bridge? He got shot in the head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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