here's my two cents worth! *hands you two pennies , entire life savings*

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was a cold day

thumb_up thumb_down

Like this joke

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the black guy do to his neighbor's car while he was away? Wash it for a for as a favor.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the Asian man go to bed? Because he was tired

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the little boy sad? He was recently molested.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A Mexican, A Jew and a Irishman walk into a grocery store...The Mexican buys some bread, the Jew buys some bread... and the Irishman buys some bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

24

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are 3:18 Violets are 3:18 I Just figured out a pattern. And saved peoples lives with the help of Keifer Sutherland.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you find a date? Look on the calendar!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

have you seen hellen kellers new treehouse? no well neither has she

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What rhymes with shuck and starts with an f flamethrower

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Person 1:Did you hear the joke about the cat, the camera, and the pancakes? Person 2: No, I haven't. Person 1: Oh, that's too bad. Person 1 then gets up and walks into a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red Violets are blue I have candy GET IN THE VAN NOW BEFORE SOMEBODEY SEES US!

thumb_up thumb_down +41

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What's white and can't climb a tree? A Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a BMW in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock. Who isn't there? Not me. Don't come in. I won't.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops