a man and his son pull up out side b&q and the man says to his son run in there and get me a black n decker and the boy goes in and is standing in the power tools isle and he looks round and there is a lady standing next to him so he hit her, the woman happened to be black and 2 minutes later a security guard rushes round and says son what did u do that for and the son said my dad told me to come in and get a black n decker!

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Knock Knock Whose there? Ben Dover Come in

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Why did the man jump off a cliff? Because he was committing suicide.

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What did muscleman say to his dad? You know who else is my dad? MY MOM!

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Some guy pretends to be Santa on the street. He touches a little girl and says "It's okay i'm Santa" So the pedophile Santa molestes the little girl. The little girl goes home and says that Santa touched her so the parents go looking for this guy. And then they find out he died of a heart attack.

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What did the man say to the woman before he had sex with her? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey, I just met you

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YOUR MOTHER IS SO FAT that she sought a relevant support group. My understanding is that she tried Overeater's Anonymous and lost a few pounds, but it meant more that it improved her sense of self-worth. She's more comfortable with herself as a somewhat overweight woman, and a much happier person now. We're all very proud of her.

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-Look! Up in the sky! -It's a bird! -Yep.

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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

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What do Native Indians and Asian Indians have in common? They're both human.

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How are JFK and Jimmy Neutron similar? They both had brain blasts.

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Wanna hear a funny story? Sure. Ok,

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Knock, knock. Door opened.

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Q:What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A:I like your shoelaces!

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Where did Susie go after the bombing? Everywhere

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Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! That's a rather strange psychological problem I think you should consult a professional psychologist rather than see me.

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How Do You Fart Eat Beans

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Hickory dickery dock, two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck 1 and the other got away with minor injuries.

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Whats white and sticky? Marshmellows

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Why didn't the blond cry at her child's funeral? She died, too. It was a terrible accident.

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What do you call a needy person? A person whos needs need needs.

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A man told his wife to go make him a sandwich. She said no.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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