Knock Knock. Who's there? Jason. Jason who? The person who is answering the door hears a chainsaw start up and suddenly realizes that Jason is the murderer from Friday the Thirteenth. The person goes and gets their shotgun, ready to blast Jason's head of when he breaks in.

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Your mom is so old, that she should probably up her B-12 intake to avoid sickness.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Go up to her and say, "The bookbag coffeepotted the ice cream wedding! Is it gosling for you to rectify this pane of glass and oceans? I won't be able to berry a giant squid before the cows arrive."

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Jewish People

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A blind man walked into a bar and got a beer and got drunk and went on a rampage and killed YOUR MOM

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Your mama is so ugly that she tried out for America's Next Top Model and did not get in.

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What's worse than anti-joke.com? Non-anti-joke.com! Louis

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Have you seen the blind man's new house? No. Neither has he.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilate was a loaf of bread.

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What did the plane say after it flew into the World Trade Center on 9/11 Nothing, planes are incapable of speaking.

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what did the guy say when his partner took a poop on his chest? It was unnecessary for you to deficate onto my chest. In no way at all was that sexually stimulating, and i shall consider seeking out a new partner.

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I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

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What smells worse than cow manure? Burning Jews.

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Why is Steven so gay? Because hes actually Richard Simmons

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why is my brother white and i am brown? the milk man is very fast!

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What goes in your mouth long and hard, and comes out soft and sticky? A stick of bubblegum.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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A guy named M.C. walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "wheres the food?" The bartender says, " its in your stomach."

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because Jimmy has no legs. Why doesn't he have any legs? Because he's a potato.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one is quite sure because technology is not advanced enough for humans to converse with chickens.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? 0. There are no lights at Auschwitz.

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whats worse than your little sster being raped? her being raped by your father.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 is black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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