Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody, because first, pineapples are too small to fit in, and second, you would drown.

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Paige

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What´s Green and turns Red at your Finger Tips? Frog in a Blender.

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Knock knock Who's there Done Done who? Done with waiting out here, let me in you dick!

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Why was the T-Rex so bad at math? Cause it was stupid

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It sucks if you have amnesia. It sucks if you have amnesia.

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If frogs weren't alive, there wouldn't be any frogs left on earth.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What has two legs and bleeds alot? Half a cat!

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Why did the black man cry and scream? It's anybody's guess. He was having a rough day.

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Why did the kid tell yo mama jokes to insult other kids? His mom had just committed suicide due to depression caused by the kid's bad habits.

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Can midgets still have big dreams?

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Whats long, hard, and makes a girl excited? A penis.

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What do you call a man with no legs? A leg-less man.

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Many men trespass on my property to taste my milk based beverages. They insist that it's quality is superior to yours. I could teach you how to make such milk based beverages, but I would have to levy a fee.

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You want to know how I got these scars? A horrible knife throwing accident.

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racism...deal with it!

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What do you call a pig and a ball when u come across both of them? A ball hog!

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What is worse then finding an apple in your worm? Not a lot.

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Why is Osama Bin Laden scared of the dark? To be honest, I don't know, and I doubt you do either. Osama Bin Laden has been a fugitive on America's Top Ten Most Wanted list for over 10 years; there is no way that you could possibly know such personal information about him if the United States government can't even locate him and prosecute him for the heinous crimes he committed against the U.S. Don't ever lie to me again.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I want to get you pregnant.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Hearing this joke again.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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