How many Freudians does it take to screw your mother - I mean, a lightbulb?

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Two rocks are in the playground. Nothing happens, because rocks are not sentient beings and are thus incapable of producing any sort of activity on their own.

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the dentist? A: Because he was dying of brain cancer.

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I like my coffee how I like my women. Without a penis. - Blake Woodman

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson play with Macaulay Culkin? Because he's dead.

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The knocking didn’t cease. It grew harder as the voice grew louder. “Let me in! Let me in! LET ME IN!” The knocking grew so fierce it could have shattered the door. Tears leaked from her eyes. “What do I do,” she thought “should I open the door?” The knocking was more than she could bear. “I know you’re in there, Kat.” it said. Her stomach twisted, her breath caught in her throat, and tears now streamed down her face. “Go away!” she shouted finally. “Let me in!” it screamed in response. “Leave me alone!” she cried. The voice and the knocking echoed in her head, making her more nauseous than before. Reaching for the lock hesitantly, she sucked up her tears and held her breath, unlocking the door and throwing it open. Nothing was there. The tree stood in the yard unmoving, no wind. Nothing. She shut the door, shaking in fear. With the click of the lock, the room grew cold. Goose-bumps covered her skin. “Thank you for letting me in.” a voice whispered behind her.

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What happen to the boy who poured water on his head? He got wet.

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What did the homeless black guy write on his sign? need money for weed.

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What's better than having a baby in your fridge? Almost anything.

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What did one gothic person say to another gothic person? Nothing. Gothic people only cut themselves.

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Why is it funny when dogs talk ? Answer: they don't

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people magazine

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What did the pedophile say to the little girl? "I have a condition and I think it would be healthy for both of us if you stayed within the supervision of your parents"

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Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth, she has lacked a jaw.

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Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

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Why did the girl fall down the stairs? She has no legs, that's why.

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Is that a banana in your pants or do you just have an abnormally large penis?

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Dad: hi son Kid: (looks sad and looks at the ground) Dad: what's wrong son. Kid:I raped a girl. Dad:Who? Did you rape son! Kid:mom.

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Why did Sally sell seashells by the seashore? Because she has no arms and couldn't find a job.

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Q:how do confuse courtney A: give her a beer

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Girl: What is your phone number? Guy: 1-800-Choke-Dat-Ho

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Your eye color is very unique.

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A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said, "No change. He's likely to die, too."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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