Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the small 12 year old run away which a chicken. He felt like it and he was carrying bread which the chicken was allergic to.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Chuck Norris was once engaged by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If u and I jumped off a cliff..who would land first? who cares..

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A salad, hes on a diet

thumb_up thumb_down -27

-Knock Knock - no one respond , they were brutally murdered by a drug addict.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

thomas!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife just died from pancreatic cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the washing machine laughing? Because you're on drugs.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A haiku for you Would not provide enough space To say all the nice

thumb_up thumb_down +26

You are as dumb as a dumb looking person.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Dislike this joke for a cookie However if you like this joke you dont get a cookie

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A Jewish man with a 20 mile boner walks into a wall. Which body part hits the wall first? His nose

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the dog say to his own poop? You gonna eat that?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A dinosaur walks into the bar, everyone panics in fear and confusion because it is a dinosaur and it's weird.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are Red. Violets are blue. I took a shit on your wife's face last night.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A Chinese man, an Italian man and a French man are sitting in a plane. They arrive in Los Angeles with a 23 minute delay due to atmospheric conditions

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Whats the difference between nude pics and your mom? A: I can wackk off to nude pics

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops