Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody, you got ding-dong-ditched

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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A Jew walks into a wall with a boner. He breaks his nose.

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Saddam Hussein is the father of the mothers of all cultchies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

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Where to, sir? Forward.

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The NHL playoffs

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I like poop in my butt

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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What happen when a penguin walks into a bar? That is an almost impossible occasion. Penguins first of all waddle not walk and they only live in Antarctica and zoos, therefor they will not be able to enter one unless Antarctica becomes populated.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" Of course not.

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what has two legs and bleeds? half a dog

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

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1 + 1 = ? 2 "No" "what have you been smoking?" "Seriously, 1+1= window" "WTF???"

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Boo." "I don't know anyone by that name. Please go away."

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A dog walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer The barman replies : Woof Woof

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Barbara Streisand

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A man walks into a bar. His friend follows him in, but the first man doesn't know he's there. They both order a beer, then a couple strong shots. The first man then notices his friend, and they exchange high-fives. The man's friend says, "Hey, how ya doin?" The first man says, "Okay, I guess, but I forgot the punchline." So the second man orders his friend the strongest drink, and the weakest. He replies, "Me too, Joe. Meeeeee, too."

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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why don't you hit a black guy on a bike? because its probably your bike

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A bleeding penguin.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not your cheese.

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What's the difference between a water melon and a baby? One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other's just a water melon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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