If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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What did the little boy say when he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

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whats worse than flunking math? death.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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How many cupcakes are there in the world joe How many? I don't know I was asking you.

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What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting raped mercilessly by Ronald McDonald.

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead."

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A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

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i am not a pothead!!! the only time ive evr been high was springbreak last year!!! mm hmm... wat were u doin over spring break to get high? i had jaw surgery and the doctor had me on tons of painkillers

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I like vagina, hahahahah!!!!!!!!!!

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who should be competing in the paralympics? Brent the retard!

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Your mama's so hairy, she has to shave occasionally.

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Susie fell of a swing and died Knock Knock Who's there Susie

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs.

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Your mother is so fat, that she was instructed by her doctor to go on a low carbohydrate, high protein diet to reduce the risk of heart disease later in life.

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KKK: Hey i was just comming over here to invite you to a church gathering me and my buddies are having later on tonight, and afterwards we are going to have a big bon-fire to fire up our spirits. Black guy: OK sounds great. White people sure are nice now-a-days.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

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A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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A homeless guy was walking along the beach when all of a sudden he see's what looked like to be magic genie's lamp so he pick the lamp up whipes it off then sells it for black tar herion.

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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