Steven hawking walks into a bar. a.w j.p

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What has a head but can't see? A penis.

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This is the funniest joke in the world: Just joking!

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There is a horse sitting at a bar, and the bartender says MOTHER OF GOD!! What is this horse doing in here?!

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whats worse than a worm in your apple..? getting shot..

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how do you make a baby float? you take your foot off its head

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Why did the cookie die Because a fat kid was hungry

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You are the most beautiful person in the world.

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If I had a nickel for every time I heard that... I'd most likely have no money as I would spend it all on cocaine.

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

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http://www.com/

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Why does the fat kid no longer have friends? He died after falling out of a tree.

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What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

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Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk. Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

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What's red and checkered and tells you to turn your music down? Michael

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"My CiOCK is bigger!" "No! My CiOCK is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger DiICK.

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What is worse than 20 babies stapled to trees? 1 baby stapled to 20 trees.

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What do you call a Mexican on the moon? Quite an unusual circumstance consedering Mexico doesn't currently have a space program. Not only that but Nasa hasen't even had people going to the moon since the 1970s.

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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Q: What did the little jewish boy get for his birthday in 1940? A: The holocaust.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ada! Ada who? Ada burger for lunch!

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Ryan

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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