Why are you going to thumbs this joke up? Because I use the words "Chuck Norris" Thus making it impossible to not thumbs up.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call someone who takes a toaster into their bath? Adele's number one fan.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being shot repeatedly in the chest.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bar and asks for 6 vodka shots. The bartender looks at him in a strange manner. The man quickly downs all 6 of the vodka shots. The bartender looks at the man and says "Jeepers mate, whats the celebration?" The man replies "Well mate, first blow job today" The bartender in a kind gesture says "Here you go mate, next one is one me" while pouring another shot. The man respectfully replies, "No thanks mate, if 6 didn't get the taste away, im sure 7 won't"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

knock knock who's there? john john who? john opens his mouth only to be gunned down by a terrorist attack

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Person1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Person2: I dunno.-. to get to the other side? Person1: :( I dream of a better tomorrow where a chicken can cross the street without having his motives questioned

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what did the soup kitchen give people for christmas Meatloaf] -Fluzturnusturbusturcusterdustur

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Did you hear about the kid napping? They found his body in a ditch.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was Jimmy sad he couldn't play the Playstation? He didnt have one

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped covered in semen.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

1

thumb_up thumb_down +13

As if it helps your self esteem: Nothing yet, Be the first to comment.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the guy with six fingers called John? His name was John.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why was the kid named owen? Because thats what his parents wnted him to be named

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what do a carrot and an elephant have in common? theyre both orange except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

yo momma is so fat her doctor recommended a new healthy diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Your momma is so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the girl break her leg? Because I pushed down the staircase.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops