Why did the chicken cross the road? He was baked.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad at poetry Potato

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Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

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What did the sexually promiscuous man get for Christmas? AIDS.

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- Why Justin Bieber can't login to Facebook? - Because he forgot the password.

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A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

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A frog jumped on the lilly pad, it sank and drown and all of the tadpoles didn't have a mother and inevitably died

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Knock! Knock! "It's open!"

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Two elephants walk off of cliff.... BOOM BOOM!

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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I wouldn't touch ellen degeneres with a 10 foot lance. However, i would shake her hand with my hand. Lesson: 10 foot lances are no way to touch ppl.

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A three and a half foot tall clown walks into a bar, it is quickly learned that he is only 8 years old and is excorted out by security.

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Knock Knock. Who's there *gun shot*

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 was racist.

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why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

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once there was an anti-joke. it wasn't well thought out or even very creative. what happened to the anti-joke's premise? it got undermined or reversed in the punchline. but the punchline was way too straightforward. so, the whole joke really ended up sucking.

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Why can't Sally use the swings? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there?? ... Not Sally.

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25

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I once had a friend We had our arguments, and went our separate ways.

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Roses are black, Violets are too. I'm colourblind. Stop laughing.

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Two friends sit down to dinner, the third is late so they eat him

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8============D PEN1S

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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