Knock Knock Whose there. Mike Mike seriously I told you to stop coming here or ill call the police But I just wanted to talk to you Ok thats it im calling the police

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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roses are red, violets are blue, my son is gay, f**k my life...

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/\ The joke above was really dumb. \/ The joke below is pretty good.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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knock knock! whos there? me! me who? thats right! whats right? meehoo! thats what i want to know! whats what you want to know? me who? yes, exactly! exactly what? yes, i have an exactlywatt on a chain! exactly what on a chain? yes! yes what? no, exactlywatt! thats what i want to know! i told you--exactlywatt! exactly what? yes! yes what? yes, its with me! whats with you? exactlywatt--thats whats with me! me who? yes! Go away! knock knock.....

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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While getting Sherrie's Crabcakes I was arrested by Missy Hepp highway patrol.

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"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

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Brittney Spears

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Why did the homeless man not get any ice cream from the store? Because he was not very bright and didn't try in school. Therefore he couldn't find a job or get his job back at the janitor at Go-Mart. This proves that not doing your school work correct can really effect your future. Plus they was sold out of chocolate.

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I got bored today and decided to surf the web. Thank you for reading this

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Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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Why did the Mxican eat the taco? Because he was hungry,

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What is the worst gift a child can get? a gift

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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What do you call a baby that got hit by a train? Thomas

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What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile

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Why did the nervous man jump out of a plane? He was sky diving.

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I dont have a girlfriend

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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