My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

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If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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What did the finger say to the thumb? I'm in glove with you.

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Na na na na na Neo! Na na na na na na 'Sporin!

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I've always hated people saying "last one there is a rotten egg" because don't you want to be a rotten egg so you don't get eaten?

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Why couldn't Spiderman pay his rent? He didn't have enough money.

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What worse than stubbing your toe? Getting raped by a panda.

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

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How did Helen Kellers parents punish her? They moved the furniture.

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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Why didn't the dog like baseball? Being a dog, it had no idea or interest in what baseball is.

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why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

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Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

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Your mom is so fat, that last night after reading and edition of Cosmo, she skipped dinner and cried herself to sleep due to her inability to live up to such an unrealistic feminine stereotype.

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Why did thw chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

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You might be a redneck if you are from a rural area and act as such.

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What did the waiter say to an overweight customer? May I take your order?

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What do you call an Interlochen Arts Academy Student with no talent? A comparative artist

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What's worse than the holocaust? The Russian Revolution

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Your mom is so ugly and stupid that people make fun of her and that's not nice.

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a guy walks into a bar the barman says "what'll it be?"

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What's the difference between Justin Beiber and a horrible singer? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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