Call me Ishmael. Or don't. Well, you can, but I'm not forcing you. You could call me Steve or Bob, it's not really that important. I'm just around here anyway to tell about a huge white dick. A whale dick. A SPERM whale dick. Never mind. Or the guy whose obsessed with it. No, it's not what it sounds like. He just wants to stab it with his harpoon. Wait, that sounds even worse. Whatever. Anyway, call me Ishmael...

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Are you from Tennesse because my uncle grew up there and I was wondering if you knew him.

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Q: What's worse than one dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? A: One dead baby in ten trash cans.

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An American, an English and a Scottish got in the bar and ordered the same drink. After that they left.

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What's worse then Justin Bieber? 9-11

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Your mom is so fat she has type 2 diabetes.

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it's easy to take part, just type your text below!

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What's blue and orange at the bottom of a swimming pool? A dead baby, why's it there? I popped the arm bands.

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A. Knock, Knock B. Come in

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So a jew walks into a bar!

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Knock knock Who's there? You're You're who? YOU'RE MOM IN MY BED!!! (i know it sucks)

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why didn't little johnny show up to school on friday? little johnny died two months ago from cancer. he hasn't been to school in a year.

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You're momma's so fat, she's got high cholesterol.

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a black, mexican, jewish, and white man fall off a cliff, who landed first ? all at the same time, they all died and there familys sued the clifff and commited sucicede

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Men don't cum twice easily. That's why Jesus hasn't been around for awhile.

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Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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If you watch the titanic backwards, its really about a magical ship which saves peoples lives!

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how many babies can fit into a microwave i dont know i havent tried

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If life hands you lemons Take them

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How can you tell that a blonde has been using a computer? You can't. There's no common link between computing habits and hair color.

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Roses are green,violets are blue,i'm high as ****,is that perfume or glue?

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What does the homosexual arab who plays football who has a best friend called Dave enjoy doing? Playing football.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died. Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because he was to fat. Why did the snake fall out of the tree? I don't know everything, Bitch!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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