I spilled spot remover on my dog, now hes gone.

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-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

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theres a black guy and a mexican whos driving the cop

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''Hey, this is absolutely true. There's an organization now called 'Draft Dick Cheney for President, 2012.' Yeah. Good luck with that. They tried to draft Dick Cheney five times during Vietnam. That didn't work.

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what did the kid with no legs gat for her birthday? A soccer ball! I feel bad for this young girl.

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that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why the hell does my sister shower in a swimsuit every time? Its not as if anyone is looking! ALRIGHT! ONCE ALRIGHT? ONLY ONCE! But then she hears the sound of my zipper ONCE and the shit hits the fan! Which is weird, yeah suuure she hears it when I pull it up, but when I pull it down and stroke it and moan? Nada!

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Why can't Jade Goody go swimming? Because she's dead.

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Why are anti-jokes so funny?

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When you nut and slice her fukcing dumb head off fucking dumb BITCH DIES

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What's white on top and black on bottom? Society

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A man walks into a bar. It resulted in a concussion and 17 stitches.

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Knock-knock. There is no reply. The burglar makes sure no one is home and breaks into a side window. After stealing some precious jewelry and family valuables, he exits through the same window.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato!!

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What's poor and lives in Newry city council dump? Smelly mcD

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someone jumped off a bridge he died

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Why did the boy jump off the building? To get to the bottom.

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Whats worse than a pile of dead baby's? Being raped by a giant scorpion. Well that escalated quickly. Also i'm gonna call the cops.

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How did the prisoner escape from prison? He asked to leave.

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I started a pottery course where the two instructors looked like Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze. The only other student looked like Whooping Goldberg. This teacher to student ratio proved invaluable as I am hoping to make a living as an artist and really appreciated all the extra attention.

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Why are there clocks on stoves? Because it is a convenient way to tell the time.

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Me Chinese Me no joke Me die of cancer.

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A woman is shopping at a grocery store. She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line. "You must be single." the clerk says. Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?". "Because you're ugly".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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