Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's usually in a good mood.

i am a dino. RAWR.

Knock knock come in.

why did the jew cross the road? He didnt. He got stuck in the wire fence.

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

What's brown and sticky? A stick!

What do you call a taxi driver eating on a gourmet restaurant? A taxi driver.

whats black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down the hill. what black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him.

What do you call a black guy flying a plane. A pilot

if a tree falls in the forest does it make a sound? if a tree falls in the forest and it falls on a mime, does anyone care?

Why would it matter if they believed such a thing? Are you trying to screw me over? You know that I am very competent at making myself seem like a total jackass myself right? You got a point, it is not my role to help others in life, I just guess I enjoy repairing others, it sure is a hell lot easier than repairing myself, I just enjoy repairing things I can repair I suppose, now using them as my henchmen that's just worthless. The way I see it, people that wage wars, control others, indoctrinate them, and/or accumulate great sums of wealth to the point where, well its pointless, are all just overcompensating, trying to make up for something that they cannot repair within themselves. It is only natural, I mean we humans, if we lack something, we get a lot more of something else. Thanks, you are right about that whole "soul incident" as I call it, it is strange how people often seem to know each other a lot better than they know themselves, I mean I could at any time choose to quit, to become like others, to surrender my individuality, to "give up my soul" or rather the essence of what makes us unique. But you know, ill rather die than live as a servant for a society many would say I never truly learned to understand. Truth is, I will never accept it, if true strength stops arriving from within, its because people choose to seek it from others, the day I require the approval of others in order to sustain myself, ill off myself, that's not a real definition of existence as far as my opinion goes. I mean what are we worth to ourselves, if we become beings that base our so called value on what others think about us? We should focus on becoming those that spread joy and inspire others, rather than to seek inspiration and joy from others. Why? Because its a win win scenario, you cannot spread joy if you got none, you cannot inspire others if we have no inspiration, I guess you can fake it, sometimes until it becomes real, but that is mental-ism and not ideology (not that they are complete opposites, and if they are not opposites, they can work as a synergy) I guess I had forgotten about that, tell yourself that you are great enough, and you become great, excuse me, I am dead tired, its been hours, say, how are you doing?

A boy walks into a baker, asks for a loaf of bread. The baker enquires "White or brown?" to which the boy replies "It doesn't matter, I've got my bike."

What's the same between a school bus and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the bus.

A blonde is walking down the road, and she sees a sign saying STOP. She carries on walking. As a pedestrian, the sign does not apply to her.

Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

What do you call an Arab driving a Plane? A Pilot.

roses are red vilotes are blue i thought i was bent but then i met you

Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

snowglobe

Why does it take more than one blond to replace a light bulb? Because one had no arms, thus requiring the help of another person. It just so happened that that other person was a blond.

What did the man say to the other man? I would have no clue because I am deaf

How do you tell a clown his fly is open? Say sir your fly is open. Then beat him with a pipe until you cant tell what used to be his face.

An Asian walks into a bar and says, "1???????????"

Jewwy Jewstein

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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