what is the coolest thing in the world? hashtag swagbag yolo

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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What did the squirrel say to the dog? "I have AIDS."

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What's worse then your mouse running away? Getting hit by a plane

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What do you call a blue penquin dipped in chocolate doing the samba? A blue penquin dipped in chocolate doing the samba!

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Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

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Why did the seagull fly over the sea, It had wings.

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Abe Lincholn had a son :) But he died |:

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Hope you all drop the soap in prison

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Why was the man shot in the head twice? He wasn't because he died after the first and it is nearly impossible to survive a gunshot to the head.

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Joke.

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Whats brown and drives people around? A cab driver of south asian decent. Finding a job that alligns with their qualifications and experience is not always possible, so they take up menial jobs to survive and provide for their family.

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What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

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What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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Where's Wally? In a children's book.

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What word starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? Fuck.

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chuck norris was bit by a snake, a few hours later he died

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Why did Susan fall off the swing? -Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan.

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Two blondes walk into a bar, but they are then puzzled as the door would not budge open for them.

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled

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Dani Barton = Stupid

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What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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An Asian couple walks into a bar, orders a few drinks, pays, and leaves

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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