- Anti Joke

what's faster than a jet? a speeding bullet. what's faster than a speeding bullet? light.

What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

It's not gay until eyes meet or tips touch.

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is an object and the black man is a human being.

What happen when the man preposed to his girlfriend? He regretted for the rest or his life.

What did the mollusk say to the sea cucumber? I don't know. Neither of them can talk.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have five fingers The third one's for you

NO ONE LIKES YOU!!!!

Why do people waste time reading these jokes. Because they like anti jokes.

How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda pop" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

Austin is gay. He goes to River Road. And is a sophomore.

Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

WHO WANTS SOW????

The teachers cat is a fat cat and his name is ... why do even whant to know you stalker

Your mom is so stupid, she decided to go back to school.

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

Once upon a time there was a man sleeping, Then he woke up.

What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

copy me and i will kill you

Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

Sorry Liz, his sodium levels are so bad that while he is drinking a lot, his body is not containing water, and while his pulse and breath is fine he is passing out from time to time, he is asking for stimulants Ritalin specifically, but I am not sure if his body could withstand that, I really don't mind to pry, but does he use Ritalin? I mean he chats a lot, but ADHD? I am just asking out of health concerns, not that I am a doctor, but I just worry... Flirty personality... More like a clown, he says he refuses to eat unless I breastfeed him XD. He is eating now though, solids work, never had a tougher patient, he will make it for sure.

Q-if you are what you eat ,does that make you cannibal? A- yes

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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