Why is it that all cats dislike flying saucers? The strange noises and lights probably frighten them, as they don't understand the concepts of extra-terrestrial intelligence and space travel.

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What did one orphan say to the other? My parents are dead.

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Hey i just raped you and this is crazy so delete my number and keep the baby

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How many dogs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Dogs don't have thumbs.

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Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because she had no legs. Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. What did Sally get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally...

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One day a black man went and bought a car with his own hard-earned money.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Why did Chad find dead people all over the playground? Ask him, it's not like he's pointing a gun at your face.

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I have a dig bick . . . . . You have a dirty mind.

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Why did 3 kids mom's die last year? Because they were depressed and committed suicide.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Roses are blue Violets are red What happened to the gay man? He listened to Justin Beiber And then was straight

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What's big? Jupiter.

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Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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Knock Knock No one's home Okay, I'll come back later.

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What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

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You are on a street. there are 4 houses, a red one, a blue one, a green one, and a white one. The red man lives in the red house, the blue man lives in the blue house. the green man lives in the green house. Who lives in the white house? The president

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was stapeled on to the elephant.

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: Banana! B: Not you again..(slams door)

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A son went to ask his father about his thoughts on abortion. "Dad, what do you think about abortion?" "Ask your sister." "I don't have a.."

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This sentence is a lie.

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A white man applies for a job two weeks later he finds out he lost the job to a hardworking Mexican who went to college and payed his debts

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How many pairings of animals did Moses collect before the rain started? 1. 500 2. 50000 3. 500000000 4. Nobody really knows 5. It was Noah... Moral: Lol.

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Today I looked at a clock and realized that I was late.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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