Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

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Man 1: Nock-nock Man 2: Please leave my place of residence

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What do you call a growing family of micro-organisms? Cancer

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What's the difference between a black cat and a black cat? Nothing.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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What did superman say when he flew into a building? Flying is inhumanly possible unless in an aircraft vehicle.

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Alan: My Grandfather has a jacket made from jews that he killed while he was in the SS. James: Really? Alan: No, I'm Korean. My Grandfather would not be allowing into the SS.

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Whats the diffrence between a boy scout and a Jew? The boy scout comes back from camp.

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http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/popular/a-paper-cut-is-a-trees-last-revenge

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A Blonde, Brunnette, and red head are on the beach. They find a sand gene and are each granted a wish. The Brunnette wishes for a yot. The Red Head wishes to never again get sun burn. The Blonde wishes for more sun. The world is overtaken and insinerated by the sun. An alien spaceship finds the Red head in a space suit floating around randomly when they ask how she survived she says "I don't sun burn"

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Knock Knock Who's there? The electrician, I'm here to fix your door bell.

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The once was a little girl named Suzy who liked swings; the only trouble was that she had no arms. In order to avoid having any jokes written (and recycled thousands of times) about this fact, she decided to run a sponsored marathon in order to pay for prosthetic arms. Suzy swung happily for the rest of her days. [L]

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How much does a polar bear weigh?. . .Approximately 515 kilos.

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What did my dad say when i knocked over the christmas tree? nothing, my father is dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it.

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Why was O.J acquitted for murder? A jury of his peers deliberated for many days and found there was not sufficient evidence for his conviction.

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two boys break out in a verbal fight. the first boy says your so stupid youd sell a cow for a gallon of milk. the second boy replied, i agree with you 110%.

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ARE YOU OKAY? Well thanks for asking actually I could be doing a bit better bu... BUSTER WOLF! Moral: No Im adding moral here, I mean why ask people if they are feeling okay before you break then in half?

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How do you kill a innocent young boy walking from school? I don't know but do you want to enjoy a refreshing beverage of creaming soda?

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How do you blindfold an asian? step 1: Fold your blindfold into a triangle step 2: Wrap blindfold around the head of the asian step 3: Tie the blindfold on the back of the asians head step 5: You forgot 4 step 6: Your finished step 4: Tighten the blindfold Now you know how to blindfold an asian ˜´??

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What's the difference between a Jew and a cucumber? You can't gas a cucumber.

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A baby gets hit by a bus.

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What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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What happens when the hydro goes out for 1 second? 1 minute? 1 hour? 1 day? 1 month? 1 year? -1.8 people die. 105 people die. 6,306 people die. 151,338 people die. 4,603,198 people die. 55,238,376 people die. Aw shit, then you have to take account for how many people die of starvation :\, and the ones who froze to death, and the ones who died from heat stroke, And the ones who died of Alzheimers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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