what did the lawyer say to the doctor? hello.

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Why do jewish women like to get their sons circumcised? They like anything 25% off.

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What do you call a person with no eyes, ears, or mouth? Helen Keller

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Why did Mary fall off the swing. She had no arms Knock knock Whis there Not Mary.

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this is an anti joke so it has no punch line :D

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Two guys walk into a bar, they are both alchoholics and beat their wives.

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How many ears does Chuck Norris have? Two.

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Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

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Q: How do you cure cancer? A: By die aids first

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Whats Yellow And Cant Swim A Bulldozer.

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Jimmy wanted a bike for Christmas He got cancer instead.

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What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Two guys walk in a bar, and they die.

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Why did the boy trip? A small explosion in the center of the earth caused by a hobo created a tsunami, causes a seagull to fly off in alarm. The seagull lands on a Smart Car, causing it to crash, which sends a signal off to a satellite in space. Because of this, a massive earthquake occurs. Oh, and the boy? There was a bowl of soup left carelessly on the ground.

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haha ur single hahahahahhahahahhahaahahhaahaha i am 2

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Is your refrigerator running? I hope so, or else the food will go bad!

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What's a fun place to visit on the weekend? Uranus.

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A rooster is sitting on the top of a house. It lays an egg. Which way does it roll? This can be solved by using the dimensions and angles of the roof to find the most probable direction it would roll (Incorporating in the power of gravity of course). Of course if the egg from the roosters uteris came out in an akward or unlikely way, it could roll the other way.This can be factored in very quickly because with the video evidence of the rooster having the egg you can see how it was delivered(the video is not of which way it rolls, just of the delivery).

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What animal is green and eats a green rockeater? A green green rockeater eater. What animal is green and eats a green green rockeater eater? A frog.

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What do you do when life gives you Oranges? You make lemonade and life wonders how you did it

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Why couldn't Dumbo fly? Because he had just been killed by an African Poacher, and dead elephants can't fly. This is very sad.

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Justin Port#$ falls out of a tree. What happens? he breaks his neck and unfortually dies a long painful death.

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How do you get a woman to stop nagging? Smack her in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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