Q: What has two legs and is bloody? A: half a cat

A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

You wanna know the funniest joke ever? Justin bieber

How do you kill a woman? Let her drive

Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

Why did the black guy love his new shirt? Because it was 100% cotton

Why did the chicken cross the road? I forgot.

What god did Bill believe in? No god, Bill is an athiest

Why did the boy trip over the garden gnome? He didn't trip. He died of a burst artery.

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

Why do mexicans have so many children??? Because condoms resemble skinny balloons.

Why did Sally fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

What do you call Jesus Christ? Jesus Christ.

Why was the asian bad at sex? Because he was 5 years old

What did hitler give his granddaughter? A gas bill.

If I could rearrange the letters of the alphabet.... dklaujeo bnvalue doiandkluq!!

What's small, white, and it killed Bruce Lee? Aspirin.

Why does ISIS want guns? Because they wanted to kill. Duh.

What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? Pizza does not scream when it goes in the oven.

My Mom was strutting down the runway. Then she got trampled by a plane.

Why does Santa wear sleigh bells? Because he's got leprosy.

Q: What is a man? A: A miserable little pile of secrets.

two paraplegics walk into a bar. oh wait...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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