A man walks into a bar. He is followed by a chicken, 2 donkeys, a tiger, 7 cardinals, 3 horses, 11 chipmunks, and 2 squirrels. And they all lived happily ever after. THE END

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Why did the terminal cancer patient die? Because he fell of the stairs with his wheelchair.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

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why did my girlfriend fail her test? she was pregnant :'(

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What did the big pickle say to the little pickle? "I'm black."

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Shakespeare walks into a bar, Having just seen someone that has been dead for over 400 years, the young man in the corner quits his drug addiction; it was clearly messing with his brain.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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What do 10 dead babies in a blender sound like? Idk because I was too busy masturbating.

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I'm hungry.

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You know what's addicting? Heroine.

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Bannana man do do do do do ect.

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Q. What's white, has an orange bill, and looks like a swan? A. a swan

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. It is ignorant and offensive to judge the world of cardinal numbers, where protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary, by the standards of human societies.

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sticks and stones may break my bones but hemophilia will make me bleed to death

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Why did Susie fall off the swing?? ShE had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there? Not Susie

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Why did the cow hail a taxi? Because cows can't drive.

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The Dark knight rises................. From the place he was before he rose.

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The awkward moment when you have cancer.

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Why are their so many lesbians? cause they LOVE the pussy.. (Tastes soo wet and tight)

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A priest, a rabbi and an imam walk into a bar. They proceed to have an in-depth conversation about interfaith dialogue and no one questions the imam orders of non-alcoholic beverages.

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How did the blonde burn her ear? In a terrible accident involving molten lava.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This is an antijoke It doesn't have to rhyme.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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