Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? Because his parents are dead.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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Once upon a time, there was a man named John. John loved pancakes

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long mane?"

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how may i help you

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Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Two parrots are in a cage. The one looks at the other one and says, "answer the phone," and the other one says, "where are my car keys."

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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Person 1: Eric is in the hospital! I think it was those depression pills. Person 2: What did he overdose? Person 3: No he just took to much.

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A black woman sits down in the front of a bus.

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Whats worse than finding out that your family is dead? finding a worm in your apple

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Q: Why did the young boy run away from girls and screamed that they had cooties? A: That's what little boys do. He also has an abusive home life

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Two people were walking down the street. One was assaulted.

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Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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what is white and black and red all over? a half eaten penguin

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How do you make a Trucker cry? Kill his family and chop of his arms.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? Molest them.

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knock knock Person A: who's there Person A: oh shit that was me

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What's red and the size of a packet of crisps? A Miscarriage

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What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

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How did the man eat 100 mints in one bite? I'm not sure myself, but we can agree on one thing, his breath is gonna fresh.

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A Man walks into a bar and orders a scotch. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart

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When life gives you lemons make lemonade, when life gives you apples make apple juice, when life gives you cranberries make cranberrie juice and then when live gives you mangos, Eat them :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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