Feeling alone fast after opening your mouth? Feel that people ignore your conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say AHAH!... And Uhuh, and I PERFECTLY UNDERSTAND! Now YOU CAN BE APPRECIATED INSTANTLY BY A BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE SAYING!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did one Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I would tell you but i don't speak Chinese therefore i have no way of translating it for you

thumb_up thumb_down -17

You know whats retarted? people with down syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was a metaphor.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many gay people does it take to make a football team? 11

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happens to the man with cancer He dies Because the pharmaceutical company wanted to profit off a synthetic drug equal to marijuana

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man walks into the bar, goes up to the bar tender and says "exuse me, please could I have a pint of bitter" the bartender says "sure"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

NEIL PERT IS THE GREATEST DRUMMER OF ALL TIME!! I LOIVE SMOSH VIDEOS I SEENT EVERY ONE LOLOL

thumb_up thumb_down +50

what is worse than a guy pissed?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a bar, he drinks, then leaves the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A dog walks up to a puddle of pee and he starts to smell it

thumb_up thumb_down -49

What's more easier to break than a thin stick? A woman's neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A UNIX guru walks in to a restaurant and asks for day's special. Waiter responds "tartar steak." UNIX guru thinks that "steak.tar.tar just doesn't make any sense" and responds "I'll just have tar steak."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why wasn't the clown funny? He didn't have a face

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Roses are red Kittens are fluffy This doesn't rhyme Cupcake

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why is the child screaming? Because he just woke up from a bad dream.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did Britney Spears say to the Mexican? Hit me baby Juan more time.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

There is a car full of black people.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What happens if you are in the north pole at a temperature of -2 Cº and you throw a rock to the air in straight line? The green rockeater will eat it

thumb_up thumb_down -145

Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +10

roses are red violets are blue i'm not a? poet microwave

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the gay man say to the other gay man? I like guys... cause I'm gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops