Why was the clown in red shoes wearing skis? Because he likes to ski in red shoes, and he's a clown

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Why doesn't your dad want to have sex with your mom? Because my penis is already in her vagina, thus your dad's inability to place his penis in her vagina.

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Did you hear the one about the guy who went his whole life without ever telling a joke? He was still funnier than David Letterman.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, that was a turkey. Oh.

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I'm so stupid that I'm posting on Anti Jokes!

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Fox News

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Uh... No? Listen, the other 2 people that bother using this "site" (excuse for one) would not give a damn, and if some world government are after us they wont find shit. What? If I said no you would hack this site? My mother can hack this site, thats what makes it so useful for us... SO PLEASE DO NOT TELL EEEEEEEEEVERYONE THAT MY MORALS AND SHIT ARE ALL CODES THAT NOBODY HAS THE BRAIN TO DECODE PLEASE <<<<<<<<< *Sarcasm detector goes off* Seriously though, nah, dont hack nor delete anything, I kinda like how I got some thumbs ups on the comment section where I shared about my mother finally dying and me feeling the world against me great etc blahblah, "Erica" and "Wizard" thumbed those up and are now with us (seriously Wizard? Geek somebody?)

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roses are red violets are blue this verse doesn't ryhme and neither does this one

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What's red and green and goes round and round? A kilt at a scottish dance

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him to leave.

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Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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why was the girl eating a pie , because she were hungry

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How do you confuse a chicken? Paint yourself black and throw seeds at it.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why do black people eat Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because there is Protein in chicken and without protein their bodies would succumb to such diseases as Kwashiorkor and Cachexia.

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So a penguin walks into a bar. Penguin's have been affected by global warming so much that they decide to drink away as they near their final hours.

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What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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Why didn't the cat eat its dinner? Because I nailed its head to the floor.

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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How many Dead Babies does it take fill a phone booth? There is an obvious epidemic going around causing millions of babies to die. This is no laughing matter and the mothers of these babies are probably going through therapy to get over their lost.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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a man walks into a bar, he tells the bartender "im not a part of this SYSTEM"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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