Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What did one muffin say to the other muffin? A: "AAAA! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

GIRL: Honey, for a holiday we should go someplace nice BOY: How will that work, none of us speak Mexican...

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you trick the devil? You give him a ginger.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A blackman and an asian are walking down the street they pass eachother exchange looks and continue on with their day

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Yo mommas so fat they had to change 'one size fits all' to 'one size fits most'

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock-Knock Come in! ...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you make time fly? You throw a clock off a building

thumb_up thumb_down +24

im watching you..

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because his hands were amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

hey i just met you.... and this might just sound crazy but i have a bad case of short term memory .....were we talking????

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Yo mama is so fat she could be a plus size model because she's big and hot.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Three peasants were brought in front of the King to be rewarded for their assistance during a drought. The King told them that they could each request one thing from him that he could provide. The first man asked to be rich, so the King ordered his guards to fetch a large sack that was filled to the brim with gems and gold pieces. The man thanked the King and left his palace joyfully. The second man asked for a larger house so the King gave him access to one of his many castles. He hurriedly left, eager to try out his new home for size. The third man asked for a cat so the King gave him a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How does a boy with no arms or legs cross the street? He doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what is worse than a guy pissed?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the pilot crash the plane? Because he was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Imagine a scenario Add a Rhubarb Crumble into your scenario Add your mother and father sitting together watching the news in your scenario. Your scenario should take place in an old people's home Add an Olympic athlete doing the splits into your scenario If there were any crane-flies in your scenario, be sure to subtract them at once. Divide your scenario by two. Your scenario should now be a mental image of flying horses and a hippopotamus eating a large salmon mousse. There will be a pig tied to a pair of sunglasses.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How could the teacher tell that the student was dead? logic

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q:What do you call a bird with wings? A:A bird -Ryan Vallee

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the man with paranoid schizophrenia say? I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops