Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

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Of two wrongs don't make a right what do they make? I don't know but three rights make a left

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Jeff was a very hard working accountant, after a very long day he drove to burger king, he looked up at the menu and said to the lady. I'll have a burger please.

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What's faster than a black man with a TV? olympic sprinters, cyclists, street legal cars, speed boats, helicopters, commercial airliners, bullets, fighters jets, missiles, SR-71, space shuttles, rocket ships, anything in orbit, excited electrons, and quite a lot more, actually.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

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Whats worse than finding half of a worm in your apple? Noticing the apple is oversized and finding half of a dead baby.

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A racist walks into a bar. Nasty accident you had there mate. You should be more careful next time.

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So there were three guys on a plane. they all died.

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How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

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Water, please.

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Lucas talks to mom she says hi

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Why did the man fall down? Because he was pushed of a 5 story building

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So a person asked a blonde in America which was closer: the Moon or Canada? The blonde responded "Canada"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who? God bless you.

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Knock knock We aren't home Sorry.

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what is yellow and cant swim? a bull doser what has 4 wheels and is green? grass, i lied about the wheels what is worse than finding a worm in ur apple? having cancer

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What do you call a blonde that just got hit by a school bus? Dead.

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XD I must like, really be into you, God I cannot breathe XD, that is like the most disgusting thing I have heard in my life, but coming from you that just comes out so quaint! XD

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice T!ts

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Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

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If Jonny has 300 pies and eats 299 pies what is left for Jonny? DIABETES

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A Duck, a Mexican guy and Helen Keller walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What do each of you want?" The duck doesn't respond because is is a duck. The Mexican guy doesn't respond because he doesn't know English that well. Helen Keller does't respond because she is dead.

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what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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