what do you call a girl who sells sex for money? sally

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because his weekend was busy!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are powerful machines, capable of dismemberment and death when wielded by someone who wishes to cause harm

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What's different about a boy and a girl? A: Nothing. There used to be a notable difference but nowadays you have to strain in order to tell them apart.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What kind of fire alarm does a zebra not like? One that doesn't work

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock knock Who's there? A very long space I see what you did there

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the poor guy get for christmas? The homeless guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

guess how...chicken pow! guess who...chicken poo! guess when...chicken pen! guess where...chicken hair! guess what...your adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a muslim in an airport? A muslim going on vacation you racist bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did one door say to the other door? Nothing, cause doors don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road Banana

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What do you call a gay kid, a horrible singer, and has long hair for a guy? Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the hot blonde strip down? So she can take a shower

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the girl cry? i took her happy meal.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the whale do when he was angry? He beached himself, causing a major ecological disaster and costing the beach community thousands of dollars to return him to the water.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Hey bill

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the shed I'm gonna screw you

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Gotta disappoint you there, you see there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of similar organizations which work for the government, and those I work for are black ops, meaning that I would be putting my life in danger if I told you anything about it besides that fact. Its not listed anywhere, its not FBI, its not legislated by any government yet many governments invest their funds there, you could call it something like the interpool, and something like the underground society, except its multi-government driven... A term I sincerely do not fully understand myself, I have certain talents I put to use, but I lack the education in order to be more than a employee for these people.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A twelve year old play Minecraft. He never made any friends. What did you expect?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

thumb_up thumb_down +38

1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops