The burgler walked into the house. Nobody noticed the initial intrusion. The burgler quickly left. The family of which was stolen from woke up the next day and enjoyed a hearty breakfast of grains, oats, and barley without a worry on anyone's mind.

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A Pakistani news reader.

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Why did the man turn up at his friend's funeral dressed as Mickey Mouse? Because it would have been disrespectful not to attend.

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man1:did you know hellen keller had a dog? man2: no man1: neither did she

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Knock knock? Whose there? Colin Come in

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Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

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Your mom is so dumb, she has difficulty acquiring a job to support her family.

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Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

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Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

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Whats up with your nan? Copious amounts of lsd

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A: Roses are red, Violets are blue. B: Then why are they called violets? A: I NEVER NOTICED THAT!

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Would I ever lie to you? No, because lying is bad.

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there is a black guy and a mexican in a car whos driving? a cop

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What is brown, white, and red all over? A part asian part white guy covered in blood after having her girlfriend have her period while they were having sex in a club in alaska near a military school that was abandoned and is now haunted but justin bieber took care of that.

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What will happen if your heart skips 10 beats? Nothing. You're dead.

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What do you call a discrase of a living enviorment? African huts there so muddy

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: I am.

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Neither have I

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What do a grape and a reindeer have in common? They're both purple, except the reindeer.

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What's the worst way to die? Alone.

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Roses are red Violets are baskets This joke makes no sence... ... boobs

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What is you problem!? Im retarded, what is your problem?

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why did Louisa go black and never go back? She got hit by a truck

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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