Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

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How fast can you paint a fence with babies? Depends how fast you can throw them.

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "He has a mild concussion."

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What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

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Why is Easter better than christmas? Theres a significantly less chance of getting raped by a man in a Santa Claus costume.

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Men

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Why is Ellen Degeneres gay? Because she likes the same sex

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is Patrick.

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A movie trilogy about an alphabet book. A ten minute long movie about a complete lifespan. A 600 pages long book on how to stop procrastination. A two page book about the top 600 award winning pictures. CALL NOW FOR A TELESCOPE INCLUDED! (So you can see the stars and fuck the book altogether) Juggernaut: IM THE JUGGERNAUTBITCH! Me: Hi, mind if I just call you bitch for short? Your life sucks sometimes because Karma is a bitch... ...My bitch ;)

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What's worse than being in the Holocaust? Dying in the Holocaust.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

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What word starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? Firetruck!

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i dont hate yu i jus really really dislike yu!!!

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Why did the boy commit scuicide? Because he was mentaly scared due to constant tormenting and teasing from his friends

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Do you believe that if I theoretically am unmatched in many ways, would feel less alone if I decided to become more like the rest?

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A blonde is standing on the edge of a 20-story building. He's had a rather rough life.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawer? we are both lawyers

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A man was getting surgery on his knee and the surgeon accidentally left a knife in his leg. The man's leg was severely infected and he proceeded to die in the following weeks. His family will mourn this loss for years to come.

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How much Is a free app on my market?

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whats black, then white, then dead all over? Michael jackson

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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