What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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How do you get 100 Jews into a car? You can't. It's physically impossible.

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What did the captcha tell me to write? Tepsyto Dora

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What did the tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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Why didn't God show up to Jesus' bar mitzvah? Because he doesn't exist.

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Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

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Who has two thumbs and gets to go home tomorrow? Well, not your son. He's in a persistent vegetative state and we had to amputate both of his arms.

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What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? Tell them to come down

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

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A blonde takes a math test it says find x? She circles x and puts there it is!

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There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

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Why did he buy ANTIJOKE THE BOOK! - ? Because he wanted to read it.

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A man walks into a barn the n was not visible

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A black guy, a jew, and an asian walk into a bar, have a beer each, and then leave, because they have high-paying jobs and don't want to risk getting DUIs.

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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What did Sam say when the basketball hit her face? Ouch.

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Why did the hipster burn his tongue? The tea he was drinking was at an unsuitable temperature for consumption resulting in the scalding of his mouth.

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Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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YOU WONT GIVE THIS A THUMBS UP!!!! YOU WONT DO ITTTT

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Why was the little kid bullied? Because kids are goats.

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When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world as they wonder how you did it

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I hate being bi-polar; it's awesome!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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