Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

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Q: why did the blind man walk off the bridge? A: because he was blind.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

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Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

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Why do mexicans like tacos? Because tacos are a very well liked food and they happen to taste good

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Why did Jimmy go to a Barbershop for the first time? He needed a haircut, and the salon next to his house was closed because of financial problems

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Too many because they are babies and they don't have the motor skills to properly use a paintbrush.

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What do democrats and fire have in common? They both do damage

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How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Camero? - The Camero isn't in my garage.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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When life hands me beef, I make lemon stew.

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hrih

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? No reply cause Kyle got knocked out by the door.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a truck

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Grass is green.

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Knock knock Who's there? Hi I'm John from the jehovah witness society down the street and I'd love to talk to you about your beliefs! Would you like a pamphlet?

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What is purple, covered in pus, and squeals? A purple hippo with an infected scab yelling at the pain

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? Zero, they already stole them all.

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nena. nerna. neener. neezie. nena.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops