How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

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Q: what do polo bears have for lunch A: iceburger

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What is white and black and red all over.

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its head.

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Mom: what does IDK, LY, and TTYL mean? Son: I don't know, love you, and talk to you later. Mom: OK, I'll ask your sister.

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What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

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What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

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Why didn't the young child commiserate the death of his grandparents after they were simultaneously crippled by a tremendous avalanche whilst skiing? He didn't exist.

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How do you get a drummer off your doorstep? Ask politely.

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What do you call a black man about to jump off a cliff? Suicidal

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What do you call a black elephant? An elephant.

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what does rain do? think of how happy its life was!

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a Jewish preist grew up in a black family. what do you call them? a loving family.

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What do an octopus and a cat have in common? They are both multicellular organisms that are living creatures, and therefore are both sentient and can perform simple tasks and make simple decisions.

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There was a Mexican in a bomb shop ?

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What do you call a bunch of spics playing soccer? Professional soccer players.

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A black guy, a Mexican guy and a Jew walk into a hospital. They are all undergoing the same chemotherapy treatment.

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there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

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Knock Knock ! Who's there? Jim. Oh come in.

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69

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If I was a regular squirrel, I would be pissed at flying squirrels.

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What did the wall say to the other wall? I didn't say anything because it isn't living and it can't talk because it is impossible.

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What do you call 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A horrible boating accident.

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Why did the black man shoot everyone? Because he is black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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