What do you get when you cross a Poodle with a cupcake? Stop looking at these anti-jokes and get back to work.

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What is worse then having no dad? Russian dad that hates you a lot and wishes you drawn in vodka.

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Yo mama so fat that she probably has a thyroid problem.

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Why did the black man get shot Cause someone shot him

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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So these IRS agents were negotiating a deal.....

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There's a mexican and african american in a car. Who's driving? A cop.

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What's green and wheels? Your mom.

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What did the dog say when the woman put a sweater on him? Nothing, dogs can't talk and he has no idea what is going on

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a man walks into a bar and quickly notices a young lady having a drink. He sits beside her and asks 'why the long face?' 'My mother was raped by a horse.'

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LIFE :(

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Simon says; "You're adopted."

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I told my doctor I’m the first man on the face of the earth to suffer from morning sickness. He promptly corrected my mistake; my excessive vomiting is actually caused by chemo.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

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what do u call a turtle with no shell? Larry

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says "Well, it's a long story but I tell you. You see, one day I was walking along the beach and I found a dusty old lamp. I rubbed the lamp and a big magic genie appeared. He told me I could have 3 wishes." The horse continues: "So I told the genie I wish I had a 10 billion dollars. I checked my bank account and sure enough it came true. My second wish was I wished for a beautiful wife. Suddenly a light came from the sky like an angel falling and I saw a beautiful woman and fell in love with her." The bartender says to the horse "Let me guess, so for your third wish, did you wish you were a horse with a long face?" The horse says "No that's not what I wished for." The bartender asks "What was your third wish?" The horse says "Well you won't believe me but I wished I was a bartender pretending to talk to a horse about some genie granting him wishes." After about 30 minutes of arguing with himself, other employees at the bar had had enough of the bartender talking to himself and called psychiatric personnel to escort the bartender to the mental hospital as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

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Rock a by baby, In a tree top When the wind blows The cradle will rock, When the bough breaks The cradle will fall And down will come baby Dying on impact.

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Q: What do a dead cat and a flower have in common. A: Nothing, just go away.

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What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

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What is red and has no legs? Half a baby.

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What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

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What did the parrot say to the dumb man? Nothing

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If life throws you melons... ouch

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My son made a tree fort, it burned down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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