Whats green all over and travels at 100mph A christmas tree in a gokart

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Whats fast, dead and make of CGI. Paul Walker

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Where does a homeless person live? No where

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting c- Moo

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Two men are talking: Bob: "Do you like fishsticks?" Joe: "Yes I do." Bob: "Your a gay fish."

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Q:What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A: A pilot you racist jerk...

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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What did james say on his bitrhday? There was no birthday because he was aborted but he said ''crunch'' anyway

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I love telling anti jokes rather than jokes because I was born with a rare case of ebola and suffer from alcoholicationism

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How do you confuse a Muslim? - Rub his belly.

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A jew, a catholic and an atheist are in the desert. They see a dusty lamp. They take it and rub it. Once the lamp is clean, they put it back on the sand and kep walking.

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Friends are like snowflakes, they go away when you pee on them.

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What happened to the adventurer ? He took an arrow to the knee and became a guard.

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I see, said the deaf man to the blind guy.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? 0. There are no lights at Auschwitz.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. This next line doesn't rhyme. Nor does this one. This isn't a very good poem.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6 million, 1 to screw it in, and 5,999,999 to die in the holocaust.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? To end her misery.

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how do you make a family tan? You burn them in the house.

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roses are black violets are black I'm blind i need a dog.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she went to go get an x-ray, they had to use the one they have at the zoo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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