Ily bae

What did the farmer say when he lost his cow? Where's my wife?

What's red, white and not blue. A Canadian flag

BWAT

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was curious about something that had diverted his attention.

A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

Billy and Joseph are playing Rock paper scissors. Billy says paper. Joseph proceeds to throw a rock as hard as he can at Billys face and sends him to the emergency room where he was later diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer.

A man took his son out to play catch. The boy didn't even try to catch the ball. After that the man took his son to the amusement park to have fun. The boy didn't even try to have fun. Then the man took his son to the burger place nearby. Once again the son didn't even touch his food. Finally the man lost his temper and beat his seemingly ungrateful son and cried over the fact that his son was mentally retarded.

Niko isnt a mexican douche

What did the apple say to the pear? Fred, you are going insane and i'm getting a divorce.

A man returns from the army and finds his wife in bed with another man. He kills them both.

Knock Knock. "Who's there?" The cops.

A guy went to a girl asked if she wanted to have sex with him. She said yes and they promptly had sex.

What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

What's sadder then a dead puppy? 2 dead puppies.

What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

if life gives you lemons you probably have problems

What does an otter and a pencil sharpener have in common? They both feature in this joke

why did the plane crash?.............the pilot was a tomato

Why is Kony so mean? He used to date your mom.

A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub. She says "Show me it's true what they say about black men". So he reveals a big penis and they have sex there and then.

What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

What's green and has wheels? A green car.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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