Why was Jesus able to walk on water? Because he was the son of God and therefore devine, he can do whatever he pleases

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as he wants to.

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Who would win in a fight, Godzilla or a Tyrannosaurus Rex? It doesn't matter because Godzilla is fictional and a T-Rex is extinct.

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roses are red, violets are blue, fudge is sweet, heres some fudge.

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

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What did the chicken say when it crossed the road? Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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like for a handjob.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" Not Sally because she has no arms ~Sally jokes

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car because he was depressed and contemplating suicide.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a cactus and a platypus? A: I was wondering the same thing.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies?

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Why couldn't the Jew get pregnant? Because he was man.

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Why do beavers have flat tails? They don't know but their relatives certainly get upset

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Jake: Where's Waldo Me: Where? Jake: I don't know

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Do unto others as others would do unto you, said the rapist.

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What's worse than a burglar breaking into your house in the middle of the night? A rapist breaking into your house in the middle of the night.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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Why did my phone crack? I dropped it.

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A duck walks into a convient store and ask the cashier, "You got any bread?". The cashier immediatley responds, "No sorry, we don't sell bread." The next day the duck comes back and asks the same cashier, "You got any bread?" The cashier sighs and responds, "No, we still have no bread." After browsing for about three minutes the duck comes back and asks, "You have any bread?" The cashier, as pissed off as a beached whale, says, "NO! WE WILL NEVER GET ANY FRICKEN BREAD AND IF YOU ASK AGAIN I'LL NAIL YOUR BEAK TO THIS COUNTER!" The duck sways his head and looks to the ground, only to look right back at the cashier and ask, "You got any nails." The cashier says, "No." The duck comes back and says, "You got any bread?"

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what did the penis say to the vagina? SMACK SMACK SMACK

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Whats worse than biting an apple with a worm in it? Getting stabed until you died and being fed to your own children....... twice

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what happend when the AntiJoke Crossed the road? It pooped in the ... HIT BY A REFRIGERATOR.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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