A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Did you here about the 2 guys who wanted to go to Paris? They didnt go!

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What's clear, glass-like, and makes your brain feel like it's exploding just by smelling it? Crystal Meth

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A twelve year old walks into a bar. How Tragic

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Ey hornboy give es a SCAB

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Q: what happens when you eat all the potatoes A: there all gone

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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Niko isnt a mexican douche

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What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

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How many vikings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Probably just one, though I'd imagine it hard to teach someone from the 9th century C.E. how to, let alone explain electricity.

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What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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What do you call a group of jews hiding in an attic? Well, this sounds very similar to the events during World War II in which Anne Frank and various jewish refugees hid from the Nazis.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? One, unless she's too short, in which case she may get someone else to do it for her.

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Why'd the boy fall off his bike? The holocaust

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What do you call a mexican man working at a Taco Bell? A young man freshly out of high-school, who could not get into college because his family is sadly struck with poverty. He also has a baby on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection when having relations with his girlfriend while he was intoxicated. I wish him the best of luck!

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What do you call a muslim flying an airplane? A pilot.

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What did George Washington say before he crossed the Delaware? "Get in the boat."

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Two dogs are sitting by a fire hydrant. One turns to the other and says absolutely nothing because dogs can't speak.

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Q: What would happen if you didn't sleep all night? A: You would probably be really tired and start seeing things and speaking strange sentences as a result.

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What do you call a guy who answers your door Whatever his name his

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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