What did the man at the haberdashery say? Six and seven-eighths, bub, six and seven-eighths.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was the Irishman ejected from the bar? For breaching client-attorney privilege, and the correct term is disbarred.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats tan and jumps higher than a frog? Mexicans..

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? " I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

thumb_up thumb_down -9,041

when two guys walk in somewhere late together you say. hay perv hay ert.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +25,680

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was an identity thief.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why is Kayne West such a jerk? He has autism.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Your momma's so stupid that as a child she was often afraid to show her report card to her parents, for fear of their disapproval.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's brown, sticky and crawls up your leg? A homesick poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Orchids are white, Sunflowers are yellow

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

thumb_up thumb_down -35

a white guy a black guy and a hispanic guy walk into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Did you hear about the one with the priest, the boy, and the dildo? Yes, sadly I have.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Ask me if I care. Do you care? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How did the blond know that you like her? You said,"Baby, I like you"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house No Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the dude fall into a box? Because he was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

It was a dark night, I was walking home from the shops in town, The wind was whistling through my damp hair, My spine tingled and i tucked my hands under my stinking pits. I felt like someone was watching me, I walked faster the breath was warm on my kneck i turned around. It was gary glitter he pulled down my pants and gave me the best sucky i ever had. We kissed and i tasted the cheese from my knob. In all garry glitter has a giant knob

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops