Why didn't the boy finish the race? He was handicapped

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the baby bird have no friends? Because he chose not to socialize with the baby birds.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Children + my basement + my finger = yes

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What has 4 legs and goes "meow." A cat. Dang! You already heard it.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What happens when you divide by 0? Sadly, you don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How did the blonde reply to the male man when he asked how she was? "I'm good."

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did one wall say to the other? Walls don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the pedofile say to the little girl? Nothing. She was properly supervised by her parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walks in to a bar, the bartender asks "what will it be?" The man says i don't know, what will it be?"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

a dyslexic man walked into a bar, ordered a beer, and no one was aware of his affliction

thumb_up thumb_down +2,417

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a finger And the middle ones for you

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What did the duck say to the bartender? A: Nothing considering that ducks cannot speak

thumb_up thumb_down -11

if life gives you melons, then you're most likely dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBO... nope bin laden

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do a bench and a mexican have in common? (don't worry it's not racist) You'll find both in a park. (I lied)

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the wall say to the other wall? I didn't say anything because it isn't living and it can't talk because it is impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I have a black friend that recently went to the doctor for a full checkup. I saw him today, and he we was dressed to the nines in a very expensive suit. "What's with the suit," I asked. "My doctor told me I'm impotent! So I thought, if I'm going to be impotent, then it'll be harder to attract a long term mate without the ability to give her children someday. So I've decided to showcase my impeccable taste in style to make up for it." He seemed really bummed out, so I gave him a hug and we went and had some ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? lts of stuff like murder, rape, slavery, poverty, mindcontrol, mass genocide, the holocaust, racism, plagarism, physichal assault, war, terrorism, massacres, onsloughts, necrophillia, the dead rising, zombies, jokes on antijokes.com, awkward situations, dieing, cancer, ADHD, other mental illnesses, paint, the grim reaper, shinigami, stereotyping foreigners, prejudicism, bullying, armed robbery, hacking, viruses, incest, feral animals, getting lost in the forest, arsonry, pyromania, passing out in a bar, meeting a serial killer, and finding 2 worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you get on anti-jokes.com? A bunch of repeated "jokes", that don't make any sense.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How did the black man survive the Train crash? He didnt, he died liked everyone else

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the cow die? Because we need meat

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops