What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? gloves.

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How Do You Solve A Impossible Math Question? You Dont. cause its impossible.

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Yeah I was beginning to enjoy that as well, but I used "timed hypnosis" I have not seen it been coined elsewhere yet, not that I learn hypnosis anymore, I kinda teach it covertly to whoever I believe can use it responsively. "Timed hypnosis" is not really based upon a set amount of time after all time is relative, and our subconcious does know that and the subconcius understands that we did not invent time just because we made some fucking dials spin around" Now, timed hypnosis is based on a purpose, for example: "I will go into a trance until I am done teaching my new buddy how covert hypnosis works and teach her to use it subconciously" But now I made you aware of that, so you can use it consciously as well, the real magic here is that the subconcious is so much more efficient and powerful than the conscious mind that it would not even be neccesary to have a concious mind, except for one thing.

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How Long Is A Chinaman's Name

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How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

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I went up to my friend and she said to me, "Foop." I calmly went to the nearest teacher and told her that Susie is having a mental breakdown again

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What did the boy get at the bowling alley for his birthday? a corpse. *from Bones

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Why was the black man eating fried chicken and watermelon? He was at home

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Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

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Eeny meeny miny moe, Catch a piglet by its toe, If it squeals let it go, Or you'll be arrested for animal abuse and receive a heavy fine.

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Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

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What do you call a black kid with a backpack? I don't know.

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Why was the youtube like bar green? Because the graphics designer felt like making it green. =.=

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What is furry, red, and flat? Road kill.

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why did Bernard have a bold because I ripped his Mohawk

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What's worse than the holocaust? Another holocaust.

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What the person say to the other Person? Hi.

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How do you silence a barking dog? You rip out its vocal cords.

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A Priest, a Rabbi and an Imam all get on the same flight. About half-way through an engine begins to smoke and stutters to a halt. Fortunately, the pilot has been trained for these situations and lands the aircraft safely.

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In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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If gluttony is a serious sin, why are so many Christians fat? Because they have bad eating habits.

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Q. what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? A. nothing you done told her twice already

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What is worse-losing your phone or failing school? Apartheid

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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