Why wasn't the black man allowed on the golf course? Because a wealthy business man had rented out the entire course for a very important international investor.

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im typkiking wifrh myv troes. Sorry, i was typing with my toes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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Christmas was blonde that year and the lemon had several monkey lamps, so it asked, "Why are my toenails so radish-flavored?" There were no answers and many months passed by the Windows operating system like cars down a highway running over a family.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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A homeless man is hungry. He then kills a college professor and has a nice dinner

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers, Delphiniums are also blue.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC for his job interview

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What did one manicotti say to the other manicotti? I doubt we'll ever know.

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why did the chicken cross the road. to get to the other side. but it didnt. ROADKILL

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Wanna hear a joke about a baby with AIDS? It never gets old.

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Walt disney Walks Into A Bar, The Bartender says "WOAH ITS WALT DISNEY!"

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why did the black guy talk to the monkey? they were in the same cage.

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whats black and blue and red all over? my wife shhh!

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could switching to Geico save you 15% or more on car insurence? Does a bear shit in the woods?

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Schizophrenia will affect over 1.5 million people this year. At least, thats what my flying, albino pet rhinoceros told me.

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What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

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How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

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Why couldn't Timmy go to the bathroom? He was constipated.

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I drove my Chevy to the levy. It was dry.

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The Oakland Raiders

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What does a cupcake get for Christmas? A fat kid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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