What do you call a larger individual having intense sex with a smaller individual? Rape.

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What's huge, gray, and has a trunk and wings. An elephant with wings glued to it.

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What word starts with "N" and ends with "R" that you never want to call a black person? ni**er

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How many dead babies does it take to paint the side of a building? I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some dreams stay dreams, But some dreams come true. Some want to be god, They want to have made us. But I want to be an astronaught, So I can explore Uranus.

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what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

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why did miles cross the road? Because hes gay

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this is not a joke. jks

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Why was the Jew evicted from his home? He forgot to pay the rent

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the chicken whent boomand then died

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a retard walks into a bar a bruise appeared on his head

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A rabbi walks into a bar, in traditional Jewish garb. The bartender takes one look at him and says "Sorry, you'll have to leave". The Jewish gentleman says "Why, don't you serve Jews in here?". The bartender replies "Of course we do, but we just found asbestos in the walls and we're closing for remodeling." The rabbi politely apologizes for making misplaced assumptions about the bartender's place of business.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why did you loose the basketball game? Because they scored more points than us.

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What do you do when you see your wife outside the kitchen? Tell her to enjoy the rest of her day, and you look forward to spending time with her when you both get home from your jobs.

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whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

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What's funnier than killing a bunch of orphans? killing their parents first.

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Can I have a dollar? I don't know, can you?

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Okay, one second.

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I have no soul so I must consume yours

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Why did the duck walk on the moon? Because it was his lifelong goal

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a dyslexic man walked into a bar, ordered a beer, and no one was aware of his affliction

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Chuck Norris.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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