Wanna see me count to ten? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a nintendo wii.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Charcoal is black, So is my neighbor.

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Knock Knock Who's there Nobody is here. This is just a feeble attempt of your subconsious to convince yourself you have someone who cares about you in the least bit to mask the horrible wretched pain of loneliness and suffering that is the enternal damnation of your life.

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What is exceptionally dangerous? Shaving while taking a bath, because the risk of electrocution is extremely high.

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What's worse than the common cold? The Plague.

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Knock Knock. Whos there? Victor. Victor who? Victor Secret, the gay door to door lingerie salesman. Can i interest you in a plastic cup holder?

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Roses are Red And sometimes yellow My mother is mellow I have terminal cancer. I also fisted my grandpa's anus last night

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planned on writing you all an antijoke decided i wouldn't.

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Roses are red my shirt is blue don't take my money, their not for u -_-

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A plane is flying low over New York City. It's low on fuel and needs to land.

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When a Jew with a boner walks into a wall what hits first? It really depends weather his arm or leg is sticking out when he hits the wall. When studying trejectory sciences, you will find out that it will be nearly a 95% chance that his foot will in fact hit the wall first.

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? None, due her disability she was unable to see colours...

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whats your name? bumder:)

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OH LOOK I'M A SAILOR I KNOW NAUTICAL PHRASES! LIKE...... KNOTS AND MAST AND SHIP AND SEA AND STUFF

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Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

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mohammed ali walks into a bar, gets a drink, signs a few autographs , and a good time is enjoyed by all.

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What's better than seeing a Detroit Lions game? Not being in Detroit.

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how come timmy didnt brush his teeth he didnt have a toothbrush

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What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

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Why don't women drive more? Because statistically the man offers to drive more frequently

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Why did the old lady have a heart attack? She got raped by a giraffe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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