A guy walks into a bar. NOT!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

If you are good at taking quizzes, you are quizzical. What are you if you are good at taking tests? Testical.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot was a potato.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Tic tac toe. I never met my father

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats the difference between a boy scout and a Jew? Boyscouts come back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +138

Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Hey guess what? What? You're a Tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's brown and sticky? The stuff that comes out of your anus

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between a duck and a belt? One floats in water and I don't remember the rest but you are a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Three Kids dressed as a bear, a chicken, and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender asks the to leave as they are all under the legal drinking age.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why do alcoholics use brown bags? Because they are ashamed of what they have become and seek to repress their guilt by entering into denial.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Yo' momma so fat she buys clothingthat is bigger than most other people's clothing

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he overslept and missed a job interview and a chance to support his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the kid fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? Because he had no legs. Knock, Knock Who's there? Not that kid.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: what did batman say to robin before they got into the car? A: get in the car (:

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why was little bobby sad? he accidentally super-glued Jupiter to his forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A black man picks up his phone and calls his wife and finds out he had no wife

thumb_up thumb_down +7

homosexual rights to marriage

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you do when you see four black people and a Jew? You buy them

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q. How did Kit Kat candy bars get their name? A. It was chosen by manufacturer.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops