Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

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What's long and blackand goes all night? night time

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Q: why'd the monkey fall out of the tree A: because it was dead

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Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

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You have 5 $1 dollar bills. Your mom rapes you and you still have 1 $5 dollar bill.

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What did Selena Gomez say to JB? We're breaking up cuz u smell like French fries and you look like a poop

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There was a lil girl in a red hoody skipping to her grandma's house. When she got there she noticed her grandma wasn't home. The lil girl panics and see's a wolf. She hesitates and asks the wolf "Have you seen my grandma" The wolf replies with a yes, shes in the backyard planting flowers.

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What do you call a black woman who had 4 abortions? A Crimestopper

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What has two legs and two arms? A Human

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A blonde was very smart, and nobody made fun of her when she sometimes made small mistakes like every other person regardless of hair color.

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'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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how long does it take chuck norris to watch a 24 hour video 24 hours

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Lettuce. THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! AAAAHHHH!

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Two friends that are 11 years old are fighting with each other, and one of them says, " Shut the front door." The other friend replies, "We don't even have a front door, because we're both homeless, and we're never going to be adopted because we're on an island, that's how we became friends in the first place."

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An American, a Mexican, and a Chinese person are in an airplane. The three of them ponder throwing someone out for a racist reason, but decide to fly to the destination.

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A man with a white bed sheet on his body and head grimaced at a black man. He said to the black man, can you help me with my ghost costume? Something in the back is poking me and it hurts.

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Why did Robert fall off his bike?? Because he was a potato.

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Why did Landry hit the man with a metal pipe? Because he was a rapist and wanted to remove his virgin status.

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What do you do when a blonde falls up an elevator? Pray, and hope Jesus will take you as well. Just kidding, Jesus isn't real.

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Q: Whats horny and likes your leg? A: My dog.

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How do you get a nun pregnant? Screw her.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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