I'm so hungry I could eat a well prepared meal!

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Why did the kid trip over the rock? Because he was diagnosed with serious autism, and might die soon.

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Why did the autistic man cross the road? He was also depressed. It was a highway.

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Knock knock Who's this? Your neighbor Yes can I help you? Hi, I'm new around here, can you help me find the closest gas station? Turn right over there pass 2 traffic lights it will be on your left Okay, thank you You're welcome

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Your mama is so fat she has to buy plus sized clothes.

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? I don't keep a Ferrari in my garage. (????)?

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer we're both lawyers

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Two robots walk into a bar, just kidding, they have Polio.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the chicken fall off the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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Q. want to hear a really funny joke? A. Fred Figglie-horn

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What happened when the chicken got to the other side of the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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If atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby.

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How do you kill a innocent young boy walking from school? I don't know but do you want to enjoy a refreshing beverage of creaming soda?

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What did one volcano say to the other? Hey.... wana get some lunch... later, not now of course it's WAAAAY TOO EARLY!

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Why shouldn't gingers smoke before they are 3? Because they have souls and still abide by the same rules!........................................................................................................................................ If you laughed at that you either don't like gingers or should be shot. And by the way... Why did Snape kill Dumbledore? Because he had to.

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What's black, green, and doesn't have to take a shower? I have no idea.

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Where did Sally go when she exploded? Everywhere!

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What did the Christian say to the Muslim. Nothing. He understood his right to have a opinion even if his religion is against it.

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What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite lollipop? Choppa Chups.

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Simon says.. Nothing because he's deaf.

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What's short, white, and is sick and tired of your shit? A toilet. What's white and killed Elvis? Also a toilet.

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What does a Barbie Doll and Britney Spears have in common? They're both 100 percent plastic.

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What's worse than losing a contact Having a bloody stool

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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