Ipod to earbuds: "hey buds" earbuds response: "sup player"

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Whats big, brown and can jump really high... A kangaroo

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What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

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What's green and gets you high? Marijuana.

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Who has fair skin, blonde hair and is African? Stefan.

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Violets are blue, Roses are red, We're doing it backwards, That's what she said.

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What do you call a man who beats his adopted, black children? A terrible person.

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why did the dad stop working on the roof he fell off

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How do you stop a bird from flying? Shoot it with a harpoon gun.

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Why was the toddler laying in the middle of the road? Because she was the victim of a hit and run...

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Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A:He was shot in the face

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Wanna hear a joke? Twilight

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How many friends did Jeffery have? 0 because he ate them and put them in his fridge.

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Knock knock Who's there? FBI

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this is an anti joke so it has no punch line :D

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what tall and looks like a jew?

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What do you call a man with short legs? Whatever his name is

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Wizard: If you could get any one thing in the world, what would it be son? Son: Another father that grants more wishes.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Commie. Commie who? Commie Johnson. We went to high school together.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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i am not a pothead!!! the only time ive evr been high was springbreak last year!!! mm hmm... wat were u doin over spring break to get high? i had jaw surgery and the doctor had me on tons of painkillers

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What is a man with no arms and no legs on a pile of leaves? A quadriplegic who enjoys the fall.

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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