Why did Sally fall of the swing? Breaking news! An 18 wheeler has gone loose and hit a playground damaging a swing, 1 fatality and 16 children injured 5 in critical condition

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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Tom and Ralph are In a verbal scuffle. Tom: your adopted ralf! Ralph: yes! Now I have lesser chance of high blood pressure!

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what did the big chimney say to the little chimney ?? your to young to smoke

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What do you get we you mix a ginger with gasoline? A forest fire.

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Leo! Leo get over here before i abuse you. Okay, im going to my whip.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

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A wife says to her husband "Everybody's coming over tonight, I want you to dress nice." *logically this cannot happen because there is no way that this couples residence can fit all 6 or so billion people in the world, nor would they want to.

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Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm. Wats worse then biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an eggplant and finding half a worm, as eggplants are usually more expensive so you will have wasted more money and would probably not be willing to eat the rest. And eggplants taste like shit.

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Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

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What did winter say to summer? Nothing. Seasons are physically incapable of speaking because they are not living things. They are simply an idea made by humans to explain why the weather changes as the sun spins around the earth.

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Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

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A woman walking alone through a poor area of town. She is approached by a man who proceeds to mug her, rape her, and murder her.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? Interrupting Cow who, unlike his quiet friends back on the farm, enjoys to speak when others are nearly finished with their sentence.

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How do I get to Carnegie Hall? The address is 881 Seventh Avenue at 57th street in New York. it's beside the Russian Tea Room and almost directly across from the IESE school of business. The Russian Tea Room has a large bright red awning out front and a large carving of three dancing bears on the face of the building, the bears are covered in gold leaf. You can't miss it.

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Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

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What has four wheels, two wings, and flies? A bird...I was kidding about the wheels.

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You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

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What did one muslim say to the other muslim? Nothing, muslims are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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What did the black man get on his SAT's? -Barbecue sauce

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I had a date. She was a pegasister. Since MLP was magical, I disappeared.

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Ever hear the joke about the blind guy taking care of the baby ? ... Good, because it's not funny to make fun of blind people and I doubt a blind guy would ever be legally taking care of a baby.

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Why was the boy eating lunch by himself at school? Because his only friend was hit by a train.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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