Wanna know how to confuse a blonde? No. I wanna know which way you would prefer to die.

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how do you get lady gaga to wake up in the morning? Hit her with a brick

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if youre reading this its probably because youre on anti-joke.com

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GAWS SI EKOJITNA

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why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms.

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What did the young boy get for christmas? Parental divorce

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What's red and invisible? We don't know that it's red.

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Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

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A chemist and his buddy walk into a bar. The chemist, trying to sound smart, says, "I would like a glass of H20." The buddy, being a normal person who actually cares if he looks like an idiot, asks for plain water.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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My friend thinks he's smart, He said that onions are the only food that make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

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What lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japanese People

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

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A women answers the phone. -"Hello?" -"Yes, hi, have I reached the Smiths?" -"No, you've reached the wrong number" The two women hand up, and continue with their lives.

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What is brown and can't get an erection? Poo

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heat!

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How do spell____? awk moment when u try asking someone how to spell something over text but they have no idea what ur saying

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Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

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How do you scare a blonde? Put the barrel of a gun to the side of her head.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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What do you call a lot of Chinese people in a confined place? A Chinese urban center.

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What's the only thing more horrible than trash can full of dead babies? A live one at the bottom. What's more horrible than that? He has to eat his way out. What's more horrible than that? He goes back for more. What's more horrible than that? This all took place in my garage while I was watching.

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WE BE-ETH YON KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TABLE

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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