What do you call 1 + 1 = 2? i like boobs

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What's black and white and red all over. Nothing, that's a contradiction.

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What do you call a man who stole from a thief? A thief, no matter whom you are stealing from the consequences are dire.

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whats worse than your computer crashing? your plane crashing...twice

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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hey fat ass u want some butter with them rolls?

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whats big and white and falls from the sky\ Refrigerator

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What's worse that pooping in your pants having someone see it

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Why did the man have cold feet on his wedding day? The wedding was outside in the winter.

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Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

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Roses are red my name is dave this poem makes no bloody sense microwave

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What's so funny about Mexicans? Nothing. They're all humans too.

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how do you make a plumber cry you kill his family

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Food and blankets from a nearby shelter.

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What do you call it when a black man and a Mexican open up a fast-food restaurant together? A joint venture.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

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What's worse than dying? Living in Africa

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did you see stevie wonder's new guitar no neither did he

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock. I said who's there? Knock Knock. WHO THE FUCK'S THERE, GODDAMNIT? Knock Knock. PLEASE STOP IT STOP IT OH GOD STOP IT Knock Knock SWEET DEAR JESUS GOD CHRIST STOPSTOPOHGODSTOPITNOW Knock Knock. FORGODSSAKECOMEIN. Hello, Mark. Oh, hi, Steven.

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Women

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a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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What did the tomato say to the ketchup? Nothing both vegetables and condiments are inanimate objects, therefore cannot speak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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