a man walks into a bar, and gets mauled by a bear..... and gets a concussion

mangos mandarins mushrooms mustache :{

how do you make a plumber cry kill his family how do you kill the plumbers family with a wrench

Dear diary, its day 230, the apple supply's are running low, the doctors are closing in, the dentists have been chanting "its time to go to the dentist" all day, I wont be able to hold them back much longer, help.

Two doctors were performing open heart surgery on a 54-year old woman. The surgery was a success, and she is now living comfortably in Portland, OR. She enjoys sweet tea.

Hey, I just met you... No, I'm your brother. You've known me for 30 years. You must have memory loss.

Yo momma so stupid she tried drowning a gold fish. She got accused for animal cruelty.

What's been hit millions of times? A woman married to an abusive husband.

Why did Charlotte fall off the swing? She got hit in the face with an axe.

4/20 is a holiday just like Christmas.. I lied you just get baked

chuck norris does not know how to use a plunger.

Where did the 5 gay guys go? One direction

Why did the man look up into the sky? carrot cake

Q. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he got shot. Q. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he was stapled to the first monkey.

what do you call an astrounaut in space? an astrounaut you racist bastard

A man walks into a bar. He's blind.

Why did the guy die? He had a fatal heart attack.

What did the frog say to the other frog Your a chode

Why did Lucy have blond hair? Answer: Because both her parents had recessive traits.

What did one muffin say to the other Muffin? Nothing, muffins have no method of communication in any way shape or form

poo

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain. Chuck promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense.

A man tells a blonde "you are what you eat" and she replies "well, i don't think I've eaten any sexy beasts today.'

NO IT IS MINE! ALL MINE!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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