What did the judge say to the criminal? I sentence you to a life time of solitary confinement.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why is it bad to smoke in a public place? Because secondhand smoke may cause lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A child is watching Saturday cartoons when is father walks in and, the child is aware that the father was on an all night binge and is verbally abused

thumb_up thumb_down +6

British Dentistry

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What happens when you shoot a priest in the heart? He dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A boy goes into Mourne View and meets a girl what happens next? He's now a father living off of the dole.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the car do? CRASH!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What's funnier than the Holocaust? HA!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why are you on this sight? You're procrastinating. I am too

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a picnic is postponed due to rain, or hired entertainment becomes unavailable at the last minute due to illness, or a book ends badly having started out well.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the first monkey fall off the tree? becuase he died Why did the second monkey fall off the tree? because he was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall off the tree? monkey see, monkey do

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I hated the Reading festival, i'm dyslexic. I hated it because my family died in a housefire while I was there.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's red and bad for youur teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

i know you talk the talk but can you talk the talk

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they dont make sense. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Error 37.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

womens rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops