A blonde went to a doctor for a checkup. The blonde couldn't hear the doctor 'cuz she had headphones on so the doctor took them off. A couple of minutes later she died. The doctor was curious so he put the headphones on. It was saying, "Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out..."

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How do you kill a deer? You don't, you just let it be because that's what a decent human being would do.

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None we have mexicans for that

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Why did the dinosaurs die out? Because you touch yourself at night.

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what's the difference between "rita , sue and bob too ," and rocky II ? rocky II is about boxing

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A man walks into a bar. Another man becomes the Limbo State Champion.

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Why didn't the firefighter put out the fire? Because he wasn't a very good firefighter.

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Blonde: what does IDK stand for? Brunett: i don't know Blonde: NOBODY KNOWS!!!

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Did you know there is a whole country occupied with twins? It's called China

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2 blondes were heading to Disney world, they saw up ahead that said "Disney World left" then took a left and enjoyed Disney World and had fun on the rides

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what is red and lies on the floor? the boy that jumped out of the plane

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roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

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*Knock Knock *Whos there? *ADD *ADD Who? *I forgot but you wana build a fort.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple getting blow jobed by a giant squirrel

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Two people were playing Monopoly. One was a blonde and one was black. The blonde said, "your turn".

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Seth stock has a large penis

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A polish, english and african man each were standing on a skyscraper. The african man jumped and died. The polish and enlgish men called 999.

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Roses are cheap Violets are on sale It's Boxing Day Please buy my flowers I really need the cash.

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what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

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What did the Po-Po do to the speeding Mexican? Gave him a ticket.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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