What do a spoon and a platypus have in common? Nothing.

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What do you call a boy with one arm one leg and an eye patch? Names

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Q: What's grey and rocky? A: A grey rocking hair

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Why can't Tom Maynard play cricket anymore Because he's dead

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When he was a little boy, what was Chaz Bono's favorite Cher song? Chaz Bono was never a little boy, he was a girl.

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How do you kill a blonde? Drench her in fluoroantimonic acid and watch her explode in a violent and gruesome death.

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What is the difference between a priest and a nun? Cant you see the nun is dead you insensitive bastard!

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Why did the condom drive over his pet mac and cheese? Because his uncle was not george bush.

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I've got a dig bick

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A black man walks into a bar in an all white neighborhood. He has a couple of drinks, pays for them, and politely calls a taxi for a ride home.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? To achieve his goal on the other side of the road. Being a chicken he is not aware of the arm a fast traveling motor vehicle can bring to him.

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What is funnier then a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown!

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Why did spock look in the toilet he was concerned with his poop

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Did you hear about the Irish man that accidently killed himself,he farted in the bath & drowned trying to smell it

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ada! Ada who? Ada burger for lunch!

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My mother-in-law is so fat that I sometimes worry my wife will look just like her after she gives birth.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who. *giggle*

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Why couldn't Austin eat his noodles? He was a horse, and horses don't have hands, silly goose!

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christimas? A: Cancer.

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What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

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Now this is a story all about how, my life got flipped, turned upside down. Now I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, and I'll tell you how I lost my job at the tire plant, and how, being out of work and unable to find a new job, I was unable to pay my mortgage. The bank repossessed my house, my wife left me and took custody of the kids, and I ended up having to sell all my remaining possessions and move to a new city in order to try and find employment.

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A black man walks into an all white bar. He was escorted out, ten months later he died of a heart attack

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Chuck Norris' balls were so big that he went to the doctor to get them checked on and it was discovered that he had testicular cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops