Two rocks are in the playground. Nothing happens, because rocks are not sentient beings and are thus incapable of producing any sort of activity on their own.

Is this the Krusty Krab? No, the Krusty Krab is a fictional place, and therefore does not exist.

What is worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? One baby stapled to 50 trees. What is worse than one baby stapled to 50 trees? One tree stapled to 50 babies.

A blind man walks into a bar. He didn't know there was a step and tripped loudly. Other bargoers saw this and helped him up, he was given a beer on the house.

Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? Because she was lost in her thoughts about her dead husband, and how much he loved orange juice.

some one knocked on tims door, at the same exact time, someone died in africa

How do you make a plumber cry? You steal his princess

Scenario - Two astronauts are kayaking down the Sahara dessert. Question - How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse? Answer - Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool The tragic drowning of a quadrapalegic

What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

What do you do after a murder kills your entire family? Nothing, he killed you too

What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

How do you get a clown off of a swing? Hit him with an axe

How do you kill a dwarf? You put rope around his neck and attach the other end to a concrete slab. Proceed to then through him in the ocean.

Why was Thomas Jefferson chosen to write the Declaration of Independence? He was an educated man and seemed suitable for said job.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

Why did you laugh at this joke. Because it was funny.

Whats a box full of sand? a sandsquare

What's the difference between Chuck Norris and broccoli? A lot.

Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

Q: What do you call a dog with metal balls and two-inch legs? A: Animatronic

An owl turns to the other owl. He has to, he can't move his eyes.

What's the difference between a black man and a monkey? Millions of years of evolution

A man said to a performer performin in a concert,"Go break a leg!". The performer did not respond because he is perfoming.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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