Mahmy

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Your mother is so fat that she once ate an entire peach cobbler in one sitting and chastised herself yet again for her lack of self-control over her eating habits and her need to fill the holes in her self esteem with the short-lived gratification she gains from eating too much of the foods she finds tasty.

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? You said you'd never forget.

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What has 389,236,587 arms, has rainbow colored fur, and fornicates on your front lawn? Absolutely nothing. That's pretty much physically impossible.

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what do mr. potato head and micheal jackson have in common? their noses come off pretty easily

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What is yellow and bright? The sun.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeline McCann.

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What's the funniest thing about this website? Everyone thinks their fucking hilarious because they keep making jokes about Sally who has no goddamn arms and little kids with terminal cancer

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What is obama's favorite place to eat? Subway

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Pencils are yellow, Grass is green OK

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Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

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Why didn't the 9-year-old girl go to school on monday? Because she lived in a country where women don't have rights and was traded as a commodity for 2 pigs to be a wife for a 43 year old man.

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-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

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Why was maddison sad Becasue he was born with a fucking gay name

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roses are red ur face is too and if u r hot my penis is going in u

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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How many are in a baker's dozen? 12 bakers

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Why did billy go to the beach? To spread his moms ashes on the sand.

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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What did Jesus say when he made the first black person? What another perfect creation to this world!

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Why did the gorilla fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A guy asks, "Why was my mom in your bed?" The other guy replies, "Because your mom has a mental disease which inhibits her ability to process thought."

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Hey, wanna here a dirty joke? A pig fell in mud.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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