How much does a polar bear weigh? The average male weights approximately 1150lbs.

what's black, white, and red all over? any red object

Jesse's mom is so god damn fat that it is an extreme danger just being around her

Why could'nt the boy eat peanuts? Because if he did he would proceed to have an allergic reaction, his throat would swell up, he would go into analeptic shock and die.

Kameron Brown is gay.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not quite sure, but I just realized that my new pair of boxer briefs has ripped along the seam. Oh, and earlier this morning, I stubbed my toe pretty bad. The nail is all purple and the toe is all swollen, it was bleeding profusely until I put three bandages over the wound. It's still throbbing with pain. Oh, and also, a few months ago, I lost my job. It wasn't because I was constantly late or anything, it was more because as a server, I had been required to lift trays and stand and walk for the entirety of my shift. The only problem is, that about a year ago, I was involved in a serious car accident (once again, an occurrence that had not been due to my own actions). This car accident severed my spine in the L5 region. I can now barely walk for long periods of time, I find it impossible to run, I can no longer play sports and enjoy being a 21 year old male. I am in constant pain and it affects my breathing, my legs, the rest of my back, and also my teeth (due to the neurological connections dealing with the spinal cord). I am now currently looking for a new job, a more suitable job, to help sustain my hectic lifestyle. No, it is not a lifestyle of parties and what not, it is merely the lifestyle of living under roof and owning a used car. I have an alcoholic mother and my childhood was devoid a father. I raised myself, and to this day, I still have no family to help me through my financial struggles. I need nearly 2000 dollars in less than a week in order to pay all my bills, have my car fixed, and eat for another month. The only problem is, I have a dollar and 58 cents to my name. I wish I was this chicken, crossing roads, and what not, not just to get to the other side, but to live a better life. But, one can only wish.

What did the boy eat for breakfast? Food

An American man walks to Mc Donalds.

whats the difference between valium and m & ms ? one is,nt a tasty little chocolate

a sailor went to his G.P to see if he had HIV turned out he had hepititis C

a man walks into a library Who the hell reads

How do you stop a baby from crying? Douse it in gas and throw it in a fire

A snake walks into a bar

What did the poor boy get for Christmas? Orphaned.

Why do men not get cullulite? Because it's ugly.

i feel bad for black people (even though u can't consider them people)

WHATS A SHIT HOLE MOUNTNORRIS !!!!!!!!!!

How do you pick up girls in Auschwitz? With a dustpan

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

What do you call a man holding a bible? A man holding a bible. What do you call a woman holding a bible? A women holding a bible. What do you call a man and a women holding a bible? A man and a women holding a bible.

How do you know when a Captcha defect causes you to post the same anti-joke three times? Canteloupe.

Whats Do You call people, on the top floor of a Double-Decker bus? Passengers

Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

Those who can't teach... Aren't teachers.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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