- Anti Joke

What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

Are you a psychopath? Take this short quiz. Q1. You live in an apartment building (about 10~15 stories). You were a student studying for an exam, but decided to take some rest. You looked out the window and witnessed a man killing a girl. The man saw you and moved his finger in a certain motion. Just from the information given, what do you think the man was doing with his finger? Q2. Someone is in front of you. Who is that person? Q3. There is a portrait of a man who went to war. He was injured in two places. Where was he injured? (List the two places he was injured.) Q4. A little boy received a bike and a soccer ball for presents. But the boy hated them. Why didn't the boy like the two presents? Q5. You're a thief. You broke into someone's house. The owner of the house saw you; you have no choice but to kill the owner. But the owner hid inside the closet. How are you going to kill the owner? Q6. You're a twin (and you're a girl). You were born before your twin sister. Your grandma recently passed away and you guys had to hold a funeral for her. At the funeral, you saw a handsome, young man. You fell deeply in love him... But, you killed your twin sister. Why did you kill your twin sister? Q7. You live in an apartment. You were watching TV, but someone was knocking hard on the door. You looked through the peephole and there was a man who was holding a knife. What are you going to do? Q8. You're the youngest member of the family. You saw your mom, dad, brother, sister, etc. die right in front of your eyes. But you stood still or did nothing. Why did you? Q9. You were very thirsty. You decided to get a drink from the vending machine. What color drink did you choose? ---------------------------------------------------- A1. Normal: Memorizing your face to kill you. Psychopath: Counting what floor you live in. A2. Normal: Murderer/Criminal Psychopath: a landowner A3. Normal: Whatever the psychopath didn't say... Psychopath: Eyes and chest A4. Normal: Already own it or hate it Psychopath: Doesn't have legs A5. Normal: Stick a knife inside and kill the owner. Psychopath: Wait in front of the closet until the owner come it. A6. Normal: To see that handsome, young man again. Psychopath: To have that man all to yourself. A7. Normal: Do not open the door. Psychopath: Open the door, take the knife away from the man and stab him. A8. Normal: You were going to die anyway, too. Psychopath: Because you were bribed. A9. Normal: Red, blue, orange, etc. Psychopath: White, clear

What's green and if you eat it you die? A Biljarts table.

Recycled jokes are about as good as a scalar roundabout... [L]

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have aids, and now you do too!

osama bin laden is dead

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Well it's not going to happen so I don't see the point in giving this a name.

If you are American when you walk into a bathroom and American when you walk back out, what are you when you are inside the bathroom? You're probably dispelling waste products from your body.

A dyslexic man walks into a saloon and asks for a hair cut.

Hey I just met you and this is crazy but here's my chew toy throw it maybe!

How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

So a penguin walks into a bar. Penguin's have been affected by global warming so much that they decide to drink away as they near their final hours.

What do you call red eyes in the dark? A high black man

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? Neither has he.

Where did Lucy go after being hit by a train? Well, the results of this question are somewhat difficult to pinpoint, but here is a generalized ratio model. 47% of Lucy went underneath the trains wheels and was left behind, crushed into the railway sleepers. 33% was thrown aside and discarded around the SIDES of the track. 19% was carried on the front of the train, into the next station where it fell off as soon as the train stopped. 1% was found in Mount Everest.

A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

The prefix "con" means bad. The prefix "pro" means good. So what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

What do you call a person that smells like shite and chases uglier girls than him? .. . . . . . . .. . . . . . Smelly McD the smelly cunt

why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a rapist

Why did the kid eat so much ice cream? Because he wanted to eat ice cream.

Guess what? Chicken butt

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

+20,228

knock knock who's there me me who? me me me me who? me me me me me me who? and the more the joke continues the less funny and more annoying it gets

What's worse than the Holicost? Bitting into an apple and finding a worm

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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