Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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what do you call a blond who likes human flesh a cannibal

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How do you cheat your friend up Throw a BRIC at her face.

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Why did the head football coach go to the bank? Not to get his quarter back cause that'll cost him at least ten million a year.

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what's the difference between a box of dead babies and a corvette? I don't have a corvette in my garage!

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What's the difference between a red Ferrari and a pile of deal babies? The red Ferrari is not in my garage right now.

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Q.What is black and white and red (read) all over? A. A penguin in a blender.

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How come the dog didn't want to go into the sun? -Because it didn't want to turn into a hotdog.

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

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Where were guinea pigs created? Probably in Guinea Land or something.

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What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

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What do retards eat for lunch? Grilled Cheese

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The BCS

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

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Why did Hitler cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Two corns were decided to get married. In wedding, bridegroom can't find bride, so he asked a popcorn next to him, "Do you know where is the bride?" The popcorn answered, "I just change my hair style."

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Why is Joel so gay and skinny? He was raised by goats with eating disorders.

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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What kind of a prediction is THAT?

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Someone told me once, but i had terrible memory so I had them tell me again.

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How do you kill a Jewish person? Like any other person, they are like any other person of any race and religion.

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pinky ponky went a bit wonky oh no plz dont go or i will rape you untill you know

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Whats red and bad for your teeth? Bricks

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What was Hellen Keller's dogs name? dhfgbvskjne How did Hellen Keller's dog die? Natural causes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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