Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

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How do you get a clown off a swing Hit it with an axe.

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why is blake oneal gay? because hes black and he likes peniss in his ass

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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So, I'm sitting by this guy in Science class and we're learning about fungi. So this guy is being really nice and I tell him, "Bro, you're just a FUNgi to hang around", like fun guy.

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Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone What doesn't kill you is a bad attempt on your life.

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What do you call a man with a cigar in his mouth. A person with bad health and dirty teeth.

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What's worse than missing your flight? Realizing that everyone who got on it died from a bomb

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What the difference between water and water? Nothing, they're both water.

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What's worse than getting no up-votes on an anti-joke? Getting down votes

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What did God say to the snake when the Snake decided to ignore God and just give Eve the apples? Snake what are you doing? Answer me, SNAKE! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! *DUN DUN DURUDUN! DU DU DUN! *gunshot* Moral: I just hate thumbs ups, and the comments where I omit this receives those horrible green thumbs instead of them sexy red ones, so there goes.

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What makes men cry? The realization that humanity is completely pointless in the infinitely expanding universe and thus any action to try and improve human life is also a complete farce.

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Why did the squirl eat the accorn? Because he enjoys it.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? He looked at his gas bill.

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Why do Pelicans stand on one leg? Because if they stood on none, they'd fall over.

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How do you make a black man cry? Kill his family

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Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

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Why Are Parking Lines White? - So You Can See Them...

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What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

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Ask me if I'm a duck. Are you a duck? No.

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Why couldn't Scruffy get out from under the car? It had parked on his skull.

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knock knock who's there me me who It's me your son who was in prison for 6 years for false charges of attempted homicide

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knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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