How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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why did the plane crash? the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die.

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what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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Twelve men walk into a bar, and get stuck in the door because it's far too small for all of them to walk through at the same time.

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Three gay men are in a bath tub and bubbles come up and one says "who farted?"

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What do you call a man that goes to work every day to provide for his family? A spoon

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Q: Why do Jews have big noses? A: Because air is free!

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Don't you hate it when ads just [CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS!* Please click this ad, so you can give us your full name, address, phone number, bank account number, pin number and mail your credit card to us, then you will receive your MILLION DOLLARS!* (you may or may not receive one million dollars) Thank you.] pop up anywhere these days?

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What is covered in red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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why cant Joey jump for joy? beacause hes dead

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Your mom is so fat that when she wears a yellow raincoat outside, people notice a rather large woman who is enjoying the weather and wearing a yellow raincoat.

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Why did the Mexicans climb the fence? They were tossing frisbee and accidentally threw it into their neighbors yard.

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hi

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What did the red apple say when it saw a black man an irish man, and an asian walk into a bar? nothing apples cant talk.

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Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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this girl and guy were sitting on my couch turns out its my sister and her boyfriend and she just farted

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Why is motorboating so much fun? Because they are unmatched for their speed and agility in the water.

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What's the difference between 2 flies? Their DNA

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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women sports....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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