What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

what did the homeless man get for Christmas? nothing.

kill yourself

Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

theres a mexican women and a black man in a car....whos driving? nobody sadly the driver was shot.

How do you fit 100 jews in a car? It wouldn't work.. Nevermind.

sir ya look like ron weasly hhahahahaha LEL

A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

What's worse then a blind driver? A girl driver

So i was writing a letter to my girlfriend on valentines day right ? So this is how it goes . " hey lisa happy volentines day!" my black friend walks up to me and says" its a mightyfine day out! " The moral of the story is... Tomatoes can't fly planes

Penis.

Why was the presidential candidate sad? He mother was raped on her way to hear his speech and his brother hung himself in his apartment two days earlier.

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Open up. We have a warrant for your arrest.

Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms

Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

A horse walks into a bar and asks the bartender "why the long face?" The bartender replies "this is the fourth time this week a horse walked into my bar and every time it happened i have to clean up a bunch of horse pooh!"

Yo mama is so poor she used the welfare system and is a family of 4 and has a successful business now

I think everybody should have a penis. Does that make me a bad feminist?

What do a van and a pencil have in common? You can write with both, except with the van.

Who do you call when you see a ghost on the street? GHOSTBUSTERS!!!! no, ghostbusters are not real, you call the police

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

Why can't Jade Goody go swimming? Because she's dead.

Why does Kony kidnap infants? To create an Infantry

Why does a new mother have big jugs? Her baby died of Sudden infant death syndrome.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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