Me: Tell me I'm a fairy. You: You're a fairy. Me: Poof! You're a bag of shit!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

-Knock knock -Use the doorbell -Oh... ding dong -Who is it? -Me -Oh -Yeah -Cool -Come in -Okay -Take off your shoes -Alright -How are you? -Good -That's good -Yeah -Okay -K -Oh -Bye -See ya

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't handle the stress and pressure of being a duck so it committed suicide by crossing a road and therefor being run over by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Two nuns in a bath, one nun says to the other "wears the soap?" the other confused replies "I am sure you mean 'where' is the soap" and hands her the soap.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

an american an asian and a jihadist got on a train where did they go no where as the jihadist was strapped to c4

thumb_up thumb_down -3

So this guy walks into a bar. As soon as he gets in, a drunk dude punches him in the face ! The dude was drunk enough to not know what he was doing, but still sober enough to hit the guy hard ! So the guy had a cerebral commotion and died 2 days later.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do the Chinese call ping pong? Ping pong.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

How do you get out of a car with only a baseball bat and a hammer? Unlock the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Whats the differnce betwwen a Wheelbarrow and a sack of dead babies The wheelbarrow is not in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did my mom say when she walked in my room? You smell like body oder.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

why did the monkey buy a shoe? to put em on!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Are we in Tennessee? Because I recently saw on the side of the road that it was 10 miles to Memphis.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I feel like making a good joke.But i cant. YN

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock Knock Who's there? Jeff Oh hey Jeff, come on in

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor. wheres my tractor

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did the chicken cross the road? well he usually takes the bus to his job but he missed it so he had to walk. Unrelated to this, he works at KFC

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A friend of yours tells you his version of The Aristocrats. You just wasted about 5-20 minutes of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left the fence open, so it wandered around and happened to cross a road.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,362

The chicks at the bar last night were do hot. The girls weren't half bad either

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops