Q: why'd the monkey fall out of the tree A: because it was dead

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whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

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So a baby seal walks into a club...

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Person 1: Eric is in the hospital! I think it was those depression pills. Person 2: What did he overdose? Person 3: No he just took to much.

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How else can an Asian wear a contact lens? Too bad for them. They can;t sucks for them. Asians with small eyes EXCEPT FOR INDIANS look ugly

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

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http://richardfigures.com/

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What's round and bounces A basketball No!!!!!!! You dummy!!! Then what? Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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speech and debate.

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Hi! Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Roughly 1150 pounds if a full grow male.

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What did little Robbie get for Christmas? AIDS

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Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

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Why did sally fall of of the swing she had no arms

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#Getweird

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A piolet you racist!

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"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

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Q: Whats black white and red all over? A: A dead penguin

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What's the difference between a black preist and a white priest? the color of their skin.

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What's spotty, can be found everywhere and is largely unpopular? Nothing.

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

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A Jew walks into a gas chamber...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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