Why did the fat black man call the fatter white man. Because they were good friends and liked to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down

There are three types of people in this world: The stupid. And the ones that can't count.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A dyslexic canadian walks into an arab

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the street? He wanted to make breakfast

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man walks into a bar Ouch

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did the skeleton drop his juice? Because he has no stomach LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What happened to timmy? He had downsyndrome and walked off a cliff

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you get when you hit a deer? A dead deer, which you should probably take home to eat - wouldn't want it to go to waste.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks into a bar. Because he's had a rough day, he asks the barender for a drink. Then another... Then another... (continued) The man walks out of the bar and goes to his car. He starts to drive back to his house. He wobbly makes turns and closes his eyes every 5 seconds or so. He also talks to his boss on his phone for the majority of the ride. Surprisingly enough, he makes it home safely and doesn't harm anyone else despite the large amount he had to drink. He stumbles into his apartment and goes up to his room. He slumps down onto his bed on his back very heavily, causing the room to shake a bit. He opens his eyes, only to find his glass shandelier falling from directly above his face. His body was found by his girlfriend the next morning. I guess there's no real moral to the story then... Maybe it's: You can drink and drive, but don't put a shandelier directly above your bed... I guess? Wow. What are the odds?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red Violets are blue Still the Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A Man walks into a bar, he sits down on a stool and begins to cry. Why are you crying, asks the Bartender. I just lost my job, my wife left me and I had my car reposesed. Ok says the Bartender, I know what'll cheer you up, he promptly pulls out a 12 inch piano and begins to play. The Man at the Bar says, hey thats awesome where did you get it? The Bartender says, a really old Genie gave it to me. You know what, I like you so I am going to let you have my last wish. Really? Asks the man, Ok thanks, I wish for a million bucks said the man at the bar. There was a Loud voice saying "Your Wish has been granted" then the room was full of ducks. Hey! Exclaimed the man, I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks! Yeah, said the bartender, and I wished for a 12 inch penis...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats the first thing you do when your grandmother gets hit by a toaster? Buy a new toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cement is grey, Shoes are myriad colors, but usually white, black, or brown, depending on their use, And I love you.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Fat people are harder to kidnap!!

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Wake up in the morning feeling like... Helen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Have ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Neither has she.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A simple country boy and a hugely attractive young blonde sit in the same train carriage. They exchange greetings and pleasentaries, but are quiet for the remainder of the journey.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than 10 dead babies in a dumpster? One dead baby in 10 dumpsters.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

Hey, you know what sucks about being blind? You can see.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops