Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. His death was mourned by his wife and three children who wished he would not have been so reckless.

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What did Batman say when he saw Robin? Hey look it's Robin

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it.

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Penis.

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Texas! You are doing it the wrong way! Learn from Hitler, gas is cheaper.

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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why did the man move away from me because he thought that i had crabs as pets

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Your Mama is so old, that she is probrably going to die pretty soon.

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Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

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Why did the group of black men not get paid for all of their manual labor? It was the early 1800's.

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95556

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Knock Knock -Who's there I eat mipe -I eat mipewho hahahah -Oh I'm gonna beat your ass

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Why was the boy sad? Because his dad was a serious alcoholic who refused to go to rehab. Being an alcoholic constantly led to him beating the boy and his mother. Eventually, the boy couldn't handle this anymore, and he committed suicide. Realizing what he had done, the father also committed suicide. The mother is now locked away in a mental hospital, for she couldn't hold grasp of the deaths of her husband, and her son.

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What did the duck say when it walked into the house? This isn't where I live.

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Why did the black man have blood on his hands? He was a surgeon

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Why did the black man buy fried chicken? Because it wasn't free.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was both deaf and blind and both senses are essential to a driver

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Want to hear a joke? Womens' Rights

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Four surgeons are taking a coffee break: 1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." 2nd surgeon says "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order." 3rd surgeon says "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is color coded." 4th surgeon says "I prefer Chelsea fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and asses are interchangeable."

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LISTEN UP PEEPS, I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU MY PASSWORD.. just as shown on screen THIS IS IT: ******* YEP just as shown on screen

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Q; Why was the man loosing his hair? A; Because since he was at an older age, he was going bald.

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What's the same between grapes and squirrels? They're both purple, except for the squirrel.

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The priest leaves because they don't have wine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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