A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the Catholic preist say to the altar boy? You've been a good altar boy.

thumb_up thumb_down -116

Q: Whats the difference between nude pics and your mom? A: I can wackk off to nude pics

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the fortune cookie taste bad? I forgot to take the wrapper off.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a man rides on his horse to rohde island and back. he rode on Friday and returned on Friday. damn, that's one fat horse

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead. Q: Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? A: Because he was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the man get a haircut? Because he had long hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Joke- Blah Blah Blah, punch line -LOL -Shut the hell up

thumb_up thumb_down -47

what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

thumb_up thumb_down -25

010011100110100101100011011001010010000001110100011100100111100100101100001000000110001001110101011101000010000001110100011010000110010100100000011010100110111101101011011001010010000001101001011100110010000001110011011011110110110101100101011101110110100001100101011100100110010100100000011001010110110001110011011001012

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the black man jump off a cliff? He's been emotionally unstable ever since he witnessed the brutal murder of his parents as a child and could no longer live with himself, so he decided to commit suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The only time when white and black are together When I've just taken a shit! ?ttis

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

thumb_up thumb_down +14,821

An Arabic Muslim is on a plane. He's flying to Chicago.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A blonde, ginger, and brunette took the SAT. They all performed successfully and were admitted into their colleges of choice.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red Violets are blue Charcoal is black So is my neighbor

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What rhymes with 'stick' and is brown? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down -16

2 men walk into a bar. 3 come out

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call a black police officer? The drug dealer's inside man.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What word does almost everyone spell wrong? Wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a man with an Eye patch and no arms? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops