- Anti Joke

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

There are 2 women at a bus stop. One of them has a swollen belly. The pregnant woman says to the other one, "I'm expecting a baby." The other woman responds, "That's too bad. I'm expecting a bus, at least that'll help me."

What has potential but is in fact disappointing? This joke.

How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

why did the dog go inside the church? cuz the door was open.

Every day Mr. Robbins, or Big Jim as his friends call him, follows the same routine that he has for the last several years. His days are always typical and very rarely differ or have any excitement thrown in the mix. It usually starts off by him waking up to his wife farting rather loudly, giving off a potent and irritating smell. This happens because she has a certain condition that makes her much more gassy than the normal person, especially as she sleeps. So Big Jim then takes his pillow and throws it at her head. She usually wakes up thinking that he is trying to be playful because of that, even though what follows next has happened every single time for the last few years. He then grabs his pistol out from under where his pillow used to be and then continues to pistol whip her for the annoyance. After bloodying her up a bit he then proceeds to the bathroom to urinate and then cry at his increasingly shrinking penis because of his steroids abuse, which hasn't made him get in shape or become stronger, but rather worsened his already four hundred pound weight to an astonishing four hundred and one pounds. After crying for a while he then brushes his teeth and gets dressed. He goes to work and gets chewed out by his boss every day for his lack of effort and is then threatened to be fired if it does not improve by the end of the month. He is always being chewed out by his boss because he does the absolute minimum he is legally allowed to do at the Woman's Abuse Shelter. But, at the end of the month he is never fired because he threatens to kill his bosses daughter whom he has fresh photos of her most recent farting accident as proof of his promise. Normally someone would go to the police, especially when there is photographic evidence, but unfortunately the police chief is his father, who has an out-dated sense of Male Superiority, and the only detective in their small town suffered a heart attack four months ago. This caused a problem because the body was never disposed of because the only medical examiner died one day prior to that because he tripped over the body of the only doctor at a crime scene and fell off the mountain, killing both him and the only man who knew how to use a telephone in their town as that man tried to grab and save him but was only taken along on the ride. And now no one wants to report any crimes because they do not want to walk into the department because of the smell, and nobody knows how to use a phone because that person died trying to save the life of the only medical examiner who tripped over the body of the only doctor at a crime scene and went tumbling down, leaving the only detective to rot in the department, causing nobody to want to report any crimes because they do not want to walk into the department because of the smell, and nobody knows how to use a phone because that person died trying to save the life of the only medical examiner who tripped over the body of the only doctor at a crime scene and went tumbling down, leaving the only detective to rot in the department, causing nobody to want to report any crimes because they do not want to walk into the department because of the smell, and nobody knows how to use a phone because that person died trying to save the life of the only medical examiner who tripped over the body of the only doctor at a crime scene and went tumbling down, leaving the only detective to rot in the department, causing nobody to want to report any crimes because they do not want to walk into the department because of the smell, and nobody knows how to use a phone because that person died trying to save the life of the only medical examiner who tripped over the body of the only doctor at a crime scene and went tumbling down, leaving the only detective to rot in the department, causing nobody to want to report any crimes because they do not want to walk into the department because of the smell, and nobody knows how to use a phone because that person died trying to save the life of the only medical examiner who tripped over the body of the only doctor at a crime scene and went tumbling down, leaving the only detective to rot in the department, causing nobody to want to report any crimes because they do not want to walk into the department because of the smell, and nobody knows how to use a phone because that person died trying to save the life of the only medical examiner who tripped over the body of the only doctor at a crime scene and went tumbling down, leaving the only detective to rot in the department, causing nobody to want to report any crimes because they do not want to walk into the department because of the smell, and nobody knows how to use a phone because that person died trying to save the life of the only medical examiner who tripped over the body of the only doctor at a crime scene and went tumbling down, leaving the only detective to rot in the department, causing nobody to want to report any crimes because they do not want to walk into the department because of the smell, and nobody knows how to use a phone because that person died trying to save the life of the only medical examiner who tripped over the body of the only doctor at a crime scene and went tumbling down, leaving the only detective to rot in the department, causing nobody to want to report any crimes because they do not want to walk into the department because of the smell, and nobody knows how to use a phone because that person died trying to save the life of the only medical examiner who tripped over the body of the only doctor at a crime scene and went tumbling down, leaving the only detective to rot in the department, causing nobody to want to report any crimes. Big Jim then went home and his wife shot him to stop him from killing her eventually, but was never arrested because nobody wanted to go into the police department to report the crime, but the only police chief, who was his dad, does not want to see his son because his son made fun of him for smelling like dead body because he was always inside a room with a dead rotting body.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

Violets are blue, Roses are red, We're doing it backwards, That's what she said.

There is a bus full of puppies and babies with a plane flying above it carrying 2 tons of explosives. The Bus arrives safely at its destination.

why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME

Double-whammy

person 1: hey! guess what? person 2: what? person 1: i once saw a brown polar bear

A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

Jesus walks on water Chuck Norris swims through land

What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

Why did the boy commit suicide? Because he was bullied at school and felt it was the right decision.

How did Ronald McDonald die? He was hit by a big mac

who lives a pineapple under the sea? a proper spazztwat.

What do you call a Jewish cop? Officer.

What's the difference between a plum and bunny? They're both purple, except the bunny.

why do i want to get raped because then its not rape

Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set in her backyard? Neither did she.

What's pink and wrinkley and hangs out your pj's? Ya nanna :)

Q: whats the difference between 3 asain people 3 black people and 3 mexican prople?? A: there all different nationality

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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