Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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Why can't Anne Frank write a sequel? Because she's dead.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Three head lice are drinking beer on a scalp, then they are killed by a high strength medical shampoo.

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How many immature teenagers does it take to change a light bulb? Ya mum.

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Two drums and a sybol fall off the edge of a cliff. They hit a random pedestrian at the bottom killing him instantly. da-dum ch

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Why did the chair fall off the cliff? Well it is an inamitate object so it did not move itself, someone must have threw it

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I have no ideas.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

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What would Michael Jackson do if he were on the Moon? Nothing he's dead.

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Andy Warhol said we will all be famous for fifteen minutes. My soccer coach molested me and the trial was televised, they obscured my face and voice because I was twelve at the time.

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Your momma is so old, it's just irresponsible of her not to have regular doctor appointments. Health should always come first.

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So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

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rocky is here again.......................

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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What did the blind quadriplegic get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What's funnier than a rock. A funny rock.

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why did the man jump out of the plane without a parachute? Im not really sure, maybe to commit a slow and painful suicide.

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He was. I am sorry, he knows to much, this is for the well being of everyone, including yourself, he will be going down, the order has been given.

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What do you call 2 Mexicans playing baseball? It depends on what the name of each individual is.

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an englishman,scotsman,and irishman walk into a bar the englishman says " a pint of lager please" "that will be 10pounds , says the barman "Im not paying that , ill see you in court" says the englishman . The same thing happens , in turn to the scotsman, and irishman ,and a summons is issued. In court the jugde says "why are you charging drinks too dear?" the barman says "im not, im selling them to a englishman ,scotsman, and a irishman..

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A forty-year-old man forces a young child to strip down and take a shower. The child screams and cries, but the man persists angily. He then carries the child into his bed. The child pleads, "Help! Mom, make him stop!" The mother yells back, "Just listen to him. He's your father and it's past your bedtime." This is a common night-time routine for parents with their first child

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"Look me in the eye" said Cyclops.

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So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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