Why would a woman be out of the kitchen? Because she is busy working, being outside, resting, or any other activity that does not include food.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He didn't know there was a step and tripped loudly. Other bargoers saw this and helped him up, he was given a beer on the house.

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How does a guy with no arms kill himself? It's called murder.

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How do you get a black man down from a tree? If the man cannot climb down himself, perhaps call the fire department.

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THER ONCE WAS A jueny WITH A TEN FOOT WENNY AND HE WENT TO SHOW IT TO THE LADY NEXT DOOR SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A SNKE SO SHE HIT IT WITH A RAKE AND NOW ITS ONLY FIVE FOOT FOUR!

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Guess what my grandma told me yesterday.. Nothing she's dead.

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What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is Patrick.

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flashback 2010 bears vs. packers vs. bears- why did'nt the packers want to go to soldier field? because they didnt want to pass another 6 flags!

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What do you call the black guy with a gun a ski mask on? Tyrone, because thats his name.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange Who? Oranges are very good for you and enriched with vitamin C that is apparently good to intake when you are experiencing cold/flu like symptoms during the winter season and your doctor won't give you medication because you aren't sick enough and you already ask for medication to much because you think you are always sick with something. That's what happens when you're a hypochondriac.

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what do u call 2 puerto rician men playing basketball? won on won

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what do you call a woman who has sex for money? smart.

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Why did the vulture cross the road? To get to the pile of dead babies left over from the Holocaust.

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why did the little old lady die? she was mugged then shot in the head 5 times.

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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what did the blind, deaf, paraplegic child get for christmas? other than cancer, nothing.

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What's big and red and if it falls out of a tree and can kill you - a fire truck

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How do you know this is an Antijoke? Its on anti-joke.com

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A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots, "Long day?", the bartender asks. "Yeah", the man replies, then he goes home and hangs himself

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Your mom is so fat, she suffers from heart disease, high blood pressure, and type 2 diabetes.

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When Life Gives You Melons... You're Probably Dyslexic.

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A dinosaur walks into the bar, everyone panics in fear and confusion because it is a dinosaur and it's weird.

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How do you drop a raw egg on to the floor without cracking it? Any way you want, it is very hard to crack concrete.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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