so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? most likely one unless there is physical disability that makes this person incapable of this action

The Morman Religion.

Nebraska the farmland its the only place for me!! I love the corn and the corn loves me!! I live for the corn and the corn lives for me!!

a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

a blond and a brunet jump of a bridge who hits the ground first ....... the brunet because the blond has to ask for directions

...IIITS... :) SMILEY :( AND MADDY THE HORSEHEAD SHOW ITS :) SMILEY :( AND MADDY THE HORSEHEAD SHOW! :) YAY! :(SHADDAP YUUU! Episode one... The waiting for the wait!

Why did Susie fall off a swing? She had an inner ear infection.

Why did the man sit down? Because he was tired of standing up.

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

what do you call something that dosint exist? nothing.

Why did Joseph kick the pig in the face? He though it'd be funny.

What's love like? Some people say it's like a lotus flower, others say it's like an orchid... Personally I'd like to say it's like a fire at the bottom of you're soul-- like when people sin and go to hell... that fire burns forever???

Why did Hitler like his steak well done? Because like many people, he didn't like the sight of blood in his steaks.

Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To retrieve his dead relatives in the middle of the street.

If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? It is an assessment intended to measure the respondents' knowledge or other abilities.

Knock knock Who's there? Osama Bin Laden

What is big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

I used to be an Adventurer like you, but then i took and arrow to the Elbow.

Your mom is so poor that she can't even pay attention.

I pooped.

A woman gets home from bying tampons to use later in the month. She walks into the house and sees a heart box with a note from her husband of 5 years. The note reads: Roses are red - violets are blue - Fudge Is Sweet - Heres some Fudge...........She then puts the note down, eats the fudge, and has diarrhea a few hours later. The husband comes home and feels bad because he forgot that fudge upsets his wife's stomach. Later that night the wife asks her husband to have anal sex with her. The husband agrees but later regrets his action since his dick is now discolored and smells of shit..........Two days later the family dog dies. The wife and husband mourn. I like cheese

2 men walk into a bar. The first man proceeds to fall on the ground and let out a string of obscenities, obviously in excruciating pain. The second man, fearing that he may have suffered some sort of concussion, immediately goes to his doctor and gets checked out. He is still awaiting results.

How do you get rid of black elephants? Arrest it for being black.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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