roses are red tulips are too, violets are violet, not freaking blue.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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What did one traffic light say to the other? Nothing, as traffic lights are incapable of thought as they are not living.

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was tied to the first Monkey. Why did the third Monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

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What's the difference between you and a cat? The cats mom isn't a whore.

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Where was susie after the explosion? Everywhere

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Why could'nt the Jew drink milk? He was laptose intolerant.

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What did my dad say when i knocked over the christmas tree? nothing, my father is dead

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what does this mean: qiwiw98373jeu7e nothing significant, just shows the results of a mentaly disable student

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Why did the kid jump? He didn't.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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Three dogs start a club called the Holly Place Exclusive Dog Club. The Club Motto is, "You can't be in our club. Just us. Read the sign. It says "Exclusive". How is that confusing? Get away from here. Now."

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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Your momma is soooo poor... I don't know how she is so fat

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

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A mosquito flies into a bar and orders a bloody mary, the bartender then takes out a swatter and kills the pest. Noticing the event, the patrons cheer and continued drinking their frothy beverage. Minutes later, the phone rings and the bartender answers the phone. "Hello?" "Hi, I'm looking for a friend of mine, is he there?" "Let me check, by the way, what's his name?" "Jack Hoff" "One sec. HEY FELLAS(yelling over the noisy bar), IS THERE A JACK HOFF HERE? I NEED A JACK HOFF! ANYONE?" Mr. Hoff, sitting at the bar hears this and asks, "who is it?" "He said he's a friend of yours!" "Which one?" " He said his name's Dick Stroker and he needs help on something hardhe'll meet you around back." "Oh ok, thanks."

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I grew up, if we cannot live for ourselves, we cannot live for others, remember how people admired us when in their presence, while mocking us behind our backs, most humans do nor respect those that do not rule with lies, false promises, all backed up by an army no amount of civilians can defeat. We lost because people got what they wanted, preferring false promises from all ranging from their Gods, to their politicians speaking about their Gods, promises of betterment as a result of war in the name of Gods, but we are not that people. The problem is, that I used to believe that all of humanity possessed the potential people you and I have, and realize now that when I began looking down at people, I began looking down at myself, considering us all equal to them. Red, we might be few, but we are worth far more than those we consider our equals, maybe it is time even we, sought to rule those that desire to be ruled, rather than to help them find their desired path, because their desired path, might always have been to be ruled.

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What did the water bottle say to the Itunes gift card Nothing,they're both innament object and don't have mouths.

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What do you call 10 old black people in a barn? Used farm equipment

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

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W.N.B.A.

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How can you tell if someone is a Mexican? Ask them politely if they're Mexican

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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