what starts with F and ends with ead? Fred was walking to school one day when he heard a strange noise in a tree. He walked up to the tree, looked up, and saw a cat. Fred was late for class, so he decided to go to school and help the cat out after school. Eight hours later, Fred came up to the tree and looked up to see if the cat was there. It wasn't. The cat was lying next to the tree, dead.

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Whats scary about the asian man driving a car? He was blind

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Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

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What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? My d**k.

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Want to hear a joke? Jerry Sandusky's innocence

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Republicans

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Why do Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles always smile? Because they enjoy there life even though there both blind.

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What did the peanut butter say to the jelly?

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why did johnny fall down? He got hit in the head with a brick

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What do you call a white man circled by 11 black men? D12

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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What can you use a broken watch for? A compass.

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Four blonds are driving to Disney World when they come across a sign that says Disney World left... So they take the left and enjoy themselves at the place many considered the most wonderful place in the world.

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How much does a Polar Bear weigh? Approximately 500 lbs

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why did the skeleton drop his juice? Because he has no stomach LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO

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If you have 5 dollars, and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, you are both very poor.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape a duck

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tomorrows international kill and orphan day, how meany of the sad bastard's you plan on baking into dough?

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Yo momma so fat, she was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and is at great risk for developing heart disease!

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a butcher's shop. The priest and the minister each by a pound of pork while the rabbi doesn't because one of the 613 Commandments is that a Jew shall not eat any animal with hooves.

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Why did the bus drop a boy holding ice cream? Its driver was not paying full attention on the road and was sentenced 15 years for manslaughter.

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How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

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Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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