Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

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Q: What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: One is a person, one is a food.

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breasts

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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Q : WHAT DID THE SMALL SHEEP SAY TO THE BIG SHEEP ? Z : BÆÆÆ

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

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Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

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What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A Coffin.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish, who had a horrible accident with a fishing hook

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why was the black kid so good at basketball because he practiced a lot

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Oh look, a dead guy. He must have died

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why did the boy and girl go under the covers together? because they were cold

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, I am Colorblind...FML

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's worse than dropping an ice-cream cone? A dead baby. What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than two dead babies? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping two ice-cream cones.

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I'm so punny.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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Guess what I did to the clown I hit it with an axe

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A apple a day keeps gramar away.

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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