Your momma's so dumb she graduated high school with a C average.

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why did every one care when i killed my self they didn't

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

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why was the the taxi cab driver having a bad day? because he wasnt making very much money, didnt get alot of customers, some of which were extremely rude, and his entire family just died.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have difficulty understanding each other.

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Dave: Heyy Steve! Steve: Oh heyy Dave! Dave: The word of the day is legs! Steve: so? Dave: So lets go back to your place and spread the word? Steve: ....How about right now? ;) Both: HEY EVERYONE..WE'RE GUNNA HAVE SEX!

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if life hands u melons, make melonade.

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Why was the little girl blowing bubbles in the swimming pool? Because she was drowning

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What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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How do you shock thomas eddison? Attatch his kite to his balls.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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A moose walks into a grocery store, he asks the deer where he could find some bisquits, the deer says "oh it's in aigle 6." So the moose goes to aigle 6...and there ain't no bisquits!

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Your Momma is so fat when she pressed "up" on the elevator it went crashing down.

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rebecca is a hard worker

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What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

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Your mom is so fat that she has trouble walking up the stairs because she gets easily winded.

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a weird guy tickled a watermelon.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returns and says, "My friend does not have a pulse, so I stand by my prior assumption that he is dead."

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Why does Owen Wilson have an ugly nose? Because of his refusal to get plastic surgery.

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What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

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Why did the car stop. someone threw a cow at it.

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What's something 9/10 people enjoy? A gang rape.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.. wait wut are u a bitch Violet are not freakin blue its Purple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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