A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

thumb_up thumb_down +8

HURT

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the banana rot? Because it didn't have any gills.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats the difference between a snail? - both legs are the same lenght, especially the left one.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

dat shoe shine tho

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Your mother is a very respectable woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the boy like watching NASCAR? He didnt because he was a fish and a secret Soviet spy

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are red, Violets are green, get in my bed, if you know what I mean.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A Psychologist said that I am a pessimist... Figures.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Continents are large islands.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Jesse is so fat that Roy is jealous of his big ass tits

thumb_up thumb_down +4

a man texted his wife saying "hey sexy, how was your day?(;" unfortunately, she never replied because she got in a cr accident and died from texting while driving.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between an orange and a dead baby? One is a popular citrus fruit commonly grown in Florida, and the other is a horrible tragedy, possibly caused by miscarriage or a serial killer, who was hopefully immediately jailed for his actions.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

The man who killed hitler must have ben a swell dude a.w. j.p.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did Kim Kardashian's and Kris Humphries marriage last so long? It didn't

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A hooded black man walks into a Convenience store. He orders a cup of hot chocolate as it is very cold outside.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

WHo owns a white van? JOSH!!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Stephen Hawkings was ice skating on the Eiffel Tower... then he woke up.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

One day a woman wrote a letter to her husband whom was at war. He received it, read it, and was happy to know she was thinking of him.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

How did the dyslexic, purple horse commit suicide? It jumped off the Grand Canyon.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops