What do Kenyans do at night? Starve.

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Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

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Q. Why did the woman cross the road? A. Who cares, what was she doing out of the kitchen

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? I dont know lets go play on our bikes.

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why do the jewish guy and italian girl talk? i dont know why any decent minded italian would talk to a jew so i don't know.

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To tell the truth... Your really an abortion that grew

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why was the woman in the kitchen? because societal standards placed her in such a situation

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A pirate walks out of a bar. He drowns in a puddle.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did the man get when he found a genie in a lamp? The rest of his life in an asylum for schizophrenia.

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David Cameron

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girl: why do you love me? boy: i don't.

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what did the blond do after she turned 18? Reelected Obama.

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Hey, I just met you... No, I'm your brother. You've known me for 30 years. You must have memory loss.

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A man removed Stephen Hawkings hand off his keyboard, what did Stephen say to the man? Nothing his hand isnt on the keyboard.

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What did the family in debt get for Christmas.....a eviction notics.

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Why was a black man running in the street with my wallet in his hand? Because he saw me dropping it and was trying to reach me to give it back.

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April showers bring May flowers! And what do May flowers bring? Bees. Lots and lots of bees.

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Why did the 15 year old girl not enjoy her taco? Because the man making her taco was kid napped and replaced with a female that forgot to put cheese on it.

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How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

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I love you! Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Squirrels are rabbid Yes mi this is a haiku!!!! I know ur reading this so grape grape grape

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What did the Black women tell her Asian boyfriend in bed Nothing because they don't talk when they are sleeping

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why did Colnel Sanders cross the road? Colnel Ryan Sanders crossed the road to attack Taliban fighters who were endangering his military presence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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