What do you tell your dad if he constantly gripes about his balls? He's got testicular cancer and he's going to die a horrible painful death.

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You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My dad drinks a lot Help Me

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whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

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What part of NO can't you understand? The part where you pronounce the 'N'.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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When life hands you lemons... do not squeeze them, for juice may squirt into your eye, causing severe pain.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A Wii.

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whats softer than a furry blanket an indian

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What did the black man buy at the fruit shop? Some bananas.

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oh, brown loaf is fine, i'm on my bike.

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What did the man get when he returned from Africa? AIDS

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A Asian man with a boner runs and hits the wall... He beaks his nose.

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What's a fat chinaman? A guy who somehow got obese on rice. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?!

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How did little Sally break her Nintendo DS? Her abusive father repeatedly abused her and punished her until she was thrown into a stone wall. As she went into the wall she crushed by another wall and broke the DS.

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monster under your bed? thank god im in your closet...........

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What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

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girls basketball

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cancer

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hey I just met you and this is crazy but get in my van

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A Black guy and a Mexican guy walk into the bar. The bar tender offers to buy them a round of drinks because he can tell they had a hard day at the office.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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Nobody likes you ya noob! (-_-) *sniff* MAN YOU SMELL BAD

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What was the pirates grade? Arrr That isn't a valid grade

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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