A man died and went to heaven. Luckily, he was resuscitated by a trained medical professional, and after a stern warning from his doctor, he lost weight, limited the cholesterol in his diet, and went on to live a very happy and healthy life.

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why did the little girl scream?She was afraid of clowns and hated small cars running around a tent at 6 o'clock at night

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What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

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Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

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What has hands but cannot feel? A sociopath; due to his or her mental health condition they are incapable of feeling true emotion.

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Roses are red, ill give you a wink, two in the pink, and one in the stink.

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whats green and falls from trees, pool tables.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I'm sorry I don't know you but I think I might have run over your dog!

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theres this guy that i REALLY like but today he was putting something in my locker, it was gumbie the little green bendy thing but i didnt want it to be in my locker so i slammed my locker, except the only thing was that his pinky was in the way!!!! oh gosh i felt soooooo bad!!!! turns out he went to the hostpital and got stitches!!!!!!! that made it worse on me!!!!!! he said he was finee but i still cant let that go!!!!!

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Q: what is funny today A: your parents died in a horrible car accident

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010010101210001010 You dirty girl

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How many Russians can you fit in a Mini Cooper? It depends on how big they are.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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why was the clown sad? because his wife left him

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A woman was strolling around town when she turned into a dark alley. She was cold and scared. Suddenly a ferocious looking man jumped out with a knife. The end.

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what did the child say to his mother? daddy raped me!

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm colorblind.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy, I am pregnant and that's yo baby !

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Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

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what did the boy with no arms get for easter? a cane.

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What is small, green, lives 10 meters under the ground and eat rocks? The little green rock eater!

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Why was the white man's baby black? The mother was black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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