Your momma so fat when she went to the beach she was to self concious and left her shirt on.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? Because they are delicious, and very filling.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: How do you confuse more than 80% of the population? A: Mushrooms.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +40,491

Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels Why did bobby die? He was hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why do so many black athletes drive black cadillac escalades? Because it's roomy and they deserve to reward themselves after they put in so much hard work trying to be the best player they can be.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

sometimes i take my duck a shower, i always use cold water because if i use hot water it will think im cooking it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two people on a boat, Pete and Repete. Pete fell off and Repete radioed the Coast Guard, who sadly got there just in time to watch him drown to his death.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why didn't andrea clean the dishes? She had no hands

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Were you born yesterday? Because I've got an erection...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are Red Violets are blue I am an onlince predator Post your address in the comment EJ

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why'd my house get destroyed I was afraid the tornado that hit mass was going to destroy it so I blew it up

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock-knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? I just said it was Steve

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you look for in a woman? a pulse.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how do you get expelled? Rape a special ed kid.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Women's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man walks into a bar and pulls out a tiny piano and a 12 inch pianist, which is really just his member with a smiley face drawn on it. Somebody calls the police muttering, "What is this world coming to?"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why did the little girl fall off the swing she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the chicken say to the cow? Cluck cluck Knock knock Who's there Chicken Chicken who? Chicken go cluck cluck, cow go moo Piggie go oink oink, how 'bout you?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops