An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

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Click here to end the world.

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why did tom shut his bedroom door? grandma was fingering herself

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a snake in your liver. Because that could be hazardous to your health.

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what's 6 inches long and women love? my penis

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A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

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what did the bull say when it got shot? nothing... its a bull

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What's worse then Obama? Nothing

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KNOCK KNOCK. who's there? Isdar Isdar who? Isdark in here.

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what do you call your mom? mom

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Vote this up

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Safety in numbers? Try telling that too six million Jews.

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What's blue? The sky.

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? Pizza does not scream when it goes in the oven.

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What did the man do to the begging orphan on a cold Christmas morning? He kicked him.

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, it is impossible for something to be red all over if there is black and white also.

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roses are red, violets are blue, get on your knees ho, and stick to me like glue.

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Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

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A man walks into a bar and says Ouch.

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what did johnny's mom do for his 50th birthday? she died

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Q: Whats the difference between a watermelon and a infants head? A: One is fun to beat a with a hammer, and the other is the infants head.

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Kids are cheering about the confetti at a birthday party, the mom says the twin towers just collapsed.

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a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

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Why does Santa Clause not have any children? Because he only cums once a year.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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