Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

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What is even bigger than an elephant? A gi-ant! (Wait you did say an anty joke right!?)

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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The time and place do not matter because I'm a lesbian.

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When was Timothy born? He wasn't.

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will both fall over after being hit multiple times with an ax.

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How many Frenchmen does it take to surrender? Probably just one.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was arrested by the ASPCA and PETA for letting the chicken run free near a horribly busy road

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When Chuck Norris claps, his two hands slam together, creating rather loud soud.

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What do you call a bus filled with White, Chinese, and Black people? Public transportation.

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A guy walks into a bar. He must have been blind or something.

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How do you make a momma bird not fly back to its nest? Burn it down!!

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What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

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A horse shits himself SHITLESS!

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Why did the kid fall over? He was hit by a car

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A man walks into a bar an orders a few pints. He then goes home and brutally rapes his wife and chains his staring kids to a fencepost in the backyard along with their deceased dog named Spot.

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if quiz is quizzal whats test?

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waiter there's a fly in my alphabet soup that's not a fly that's a spelling bee

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A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

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did you know hellen keller had a dog? niether did she

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Did you hear about the man who swam to the bottom of the ocean? He drowned

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Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops