What is the different between going to church and reading a newspaper? You can take your shoes off when you read a newspaper.

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Why did the white man buy a new pair of socks? His old ones has holes.

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A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

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Why was the trucker making noises? It was having sex with someone

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There were two elephants in a bathtub. One elephant says, "Hey, could you pass the soap." The other replies, "No soap, radio."

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A pregnant woman goes to the hospital to deliver a baby. It is born perfectly normal and healthy, the doctor looks at the mother and father offering them congratulations as he hands them a 9 lb 10 oz baby boy. The mother wanted a girl, but she instead develops post part em depression. She goes through years of psychotherapy to again become well adjusted, her second child is a girl.

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Best reaction to Anti-humor joke me: whats green and has wheels Friend: idk Me: Grass i lied about the wheels Friend:wow dick

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless this event results in you being a vegetable.

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What does an Irishman order at the bar?? A beer

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well that, my friend, is a good question.

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What do you call a panda without a head? Dead.

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Whats funnier than a Dead Baby in a bathtub? Nothing Thats as good as it gets!

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These two guys walk into a bar. You'd think the second guy would've noticed it was there.

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Why did the black man buy watermellon? Because he was having a barbecue in his suburban neighborhood and he wanted some fruit.

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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Q:What is harder than nailing ten dead babies to a tree? A:Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

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Girls

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a jewish man with a boner walks into a wall what does he hit first his cheek due to the fact he was looking at an attractive woman

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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what was the funniest part of the titanic sinking? nothing, many innocent people were killed and left their family devastated.

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What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

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What's the difference between a Mustang and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

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you gay?

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What did the African get for dinner? Ebola Rice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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