whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing your mum having sex

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Whats big brown and sticky A sappy oak tree

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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A girl walks into a bar. She's a lesbian.

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Why are AntiJokes so funny? Because your brain analyses them and makes you laugh.

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Why was the Jew evicted from his home? He forgot to pay the rent

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why did the man crash a plane into the twin towers? he was a clumsy terrorist going for the sears tower

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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A guy is walking on the beach one day when he stubs his toe on something shiny. Digging in the sand he finds an old, tarnished lamp. He takes it home and liberally applies polish, then puts it on his mantlepiece, it completes the look he was going for in his room and he feels like all his wishes have come true. His wife dies in a car accident later that day.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream...?? Because he got hit by a white van

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Q. What's brown and sticky? A. A stick.

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Why did the Mexican drive the car off cliff? Because he wanted to.

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So three men walk into a bar and buy a round of drinks for everyone. As they do this, three kenyans die of dehydration while their families weep at their feet.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends what its name is.

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What's worse than pushing a baby off a cliff?........ Standing at the bottom with a pitchfork....!

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What dog keeps the best time? All dogs will keep reasonably good time as far as their care is concerned, if they have a stable home routine.

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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What did the alcoholic Indian do? Continued to drink and further worsen his people's stereotype.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head on into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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Why did the Gay person fall down? He got shot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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