What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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A blonde drank an entire fruit smoothie in one sitting. She got a brain freeze.

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whyo black peopple lie koolade the like the taste

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Why did the man reach for his gun? Because he wanted to kill someone.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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what did the boy say to his mum when he got home from school nothing he has no tongue

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so the weather's nice...

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roses are red, violets are blue, my son is gay, f**k my life...

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What do you get when you cross a hooker with five shots of tequila? Herpes

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What's worse; twelve babies in one trash can or one baby in twelve trash cans?

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The joke below was so funny I forgot to laugh.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What does a salmon and a falcon have in common They both live underwater except for the falcon.

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What did Jean Luc Picard say to Data when he saw a broken Janome Overlocker? Make it Sew

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The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

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What happens when you cross a vampire and a werewolf? A cross between a vampire and a werewolf.

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how do you make a black person stop drowning you take your boot of his head

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman

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A bear and a rabbit are walking i n the woods until they spot a magic genie. The bear mauls the rabbit because it is the rabbit's natural predator and is indifferent to the genie because it has no prior education on persian mythology.

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Okay, yeah red, but you wont ever get to see it because you have gone stale.

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what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

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Why did the teacher give out homework? she is a teacher

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Did you hear the one about the deaf guy and the rhinoceros? Neither did he.

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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