My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Sure. Me too, do you have any?

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How many Grand Jurists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on if it was a cop that snuffed out the light bulb.

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But then it wouldn't be an anti joke ya bellendo

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what did the sock say to the shoe? Get your tongue off me.

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What do a bike and a human have in common they are both objects

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Your mother smells so bad that if she were alive in 1919 she would most likely be outlawed in the Geneva Convention or at least banished from conventional warfare among nations that adhere to the restrictions imposed by such a document

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Who's looking for judicial toenail clippings?

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Miranda Lorenz is a WHORE!!! She has slept with three guys while in a relationship!! then when he broke up with her for cheating on him, she keyed his car!! Psycho Bitch!!!

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There were three people on an airplane. A Mexican, an American and an Italian. The plane chrashed and they all died.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

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A pretty funny pick-up line that probably doesn't work: "Hey, do you work at Little Caesar's? Because you're hot and I'm ready.

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Why did the cop shoot his 4 year old son? Because the little bitch ate his leftovers

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Woof woof

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Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We are both lawyers.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

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What do you get when you mix a panda,oklahoma,and a handle? The oklahoma panhandle.

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A horse walk into the bar, the bar tender asked, why the long face the horse unable to understand English takes a shit and walk away.

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why was the fork in the wall? Why would a fork be in a wall?

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How many like does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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What did the martian say to the other martian when he saw a fire hydrant? "Hey look, I found a fire hydrant!"

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What is hitlers favorite planet: jewpiter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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