Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did the Monkey Fall out of the tree? ..It was dead..

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What do you call a black priest? A black priest

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A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

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Q: There was a train wreck in the middle of nowhere, every one died, no one saw the train wreck, so how did the story about the wreck get out? A:Many philosophers believe that the universe is a figment of its own imagination. Therefore, if "the universe" decided that it wanted the story to get out, it could have just made it so since it is its own imagination.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

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Why do blondes like cheez whiz? Because it tastes good

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your mom's so fat that even the biggest case of cancer couldn't brake through her flubber its so big

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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What's the difference between a plum and a rabbit? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He had a job interview precisely 10 minutes after this event occurred.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Girl you must be Jamaican...because you're black and annoying.

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What do you call a man named Jimmy? Jimmy

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roses are red, violets are blue, hey reed and steven, we should hang out

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Yo mamma's so fat, at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that if she did not attempt to control her weight gain through a careful moderation of her diet and began exercising on a regular basis, that her obesity would soon manifest itself in a variety of chronic health conditions that would permanently alter her ability to enjoy life and could significantly decrease her lifespan.

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What do nappies and politicians have in common? Not a lot, although President Roosevelt suffered from incontinence due to polio as a child.

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Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? So nobody finds he's been fucking hens.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, With a penis so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin, If my ear was a cunt, that’d be strange.

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I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

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Q:What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A:Lick-a-lotta-pus

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Whats 10+10? A mathematical equation.

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Mila Kunis is fugly. Said no one ever.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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