Q)Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the toilet? A)Because the P is silent.

Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

Whats small, red and white, and would kill you if shot out of a cannon? A decapitated baby

There were two mufins in an oven. They did not say anything because muffins are incapable of speech.

Yo Momma so old, that she has arthritis.

so a man walks into a bar and Cancer

A blind man walks into a library.

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

What did the Jew get for Christmas? A ride to a Concentrtation Camp.

Q: What did the man say before he was stabbed? A: "What are you gonna do, stab me?"

the website says jokes, yet these are all facts.

How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black.

How do you know when your pizza is ready? When the oven timer goes off, indicating that it is done.

What's the only type of wood that doesn't float? Natalie wood.

I was bangin this girl and she kept yelling the wrong name. Who's rape??

Sticks and stones may break my bones... and my pistol will kill you.

A Blonde, a brunette, and a redhead where hiding from the police They were all shot and all died because they were playing Grand Theft Auto 5

A whole 'nother.

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

What boy with no arms get on his birthday? Lego.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

A man gets pushed in to a pole...

Why cant kellen heller drive? She was born with the disabilities of being blind and deaf, thus rendering her unable to operate a vehichle.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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