What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why does Eric Clapton use a Mac? Because he prefers Macs.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's worse than finding gum on your shoe? Being molested by a sea urchin.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A clown attends a childs birthday party. He molests 4 children and kills the others. Then leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than doing the dishes with long sleeves? Finding out your girlfriend's been cheating on you.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you get a small girl of a swing ? Throw a fridge at her

thumb_up thumb_down +40

does your face hurt? yeah, neither does mine.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

MILEY CYRUS: ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME! ME: O GOD CALLED HE SAID YOUR A HOE TO

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

What do you do when you're given a phonebook? You ask for their name.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry Potter escapes the chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down -98

Listen Erron, what`s wrong? I would have told you to go fuck yourself if it where not for the fact that AzureDragon just left for the cafeteria and is nowhere to be seen.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Take My Wife- Because as it stands, I'm having frequent, toe-curling, unprotected sex with your wife. And that just doesnt seem fair.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

POOP FART BUTTS HAHAHA!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did the little girl fall off the swing? she was a double amputee.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the church say to the house? You need jesus

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the ginger start crying. because people through bricks at him!

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What do you call it when an old person cuts off their fingers? Dementia

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats the difference between a hoover and a harley? one is a vacuum, and the other is a motorcycle.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's funnier then 24... The Holocost

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did one new born baby say to the other new born baby.? Babies don't have teeth therefore they are unable to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was Barack Obama wearing a Justin Bieber T-Shirt and slapping you with a pitchfork? Because you didn't listen to me when I told you to stop doing shrooms

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops