What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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Man hears son masturbating in room. The dad enters the room and tells him "Son if you keep jacking off you will go blind". The boy replies "Dad I"m over here".

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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There once was a man named Steve. One day, Steve stumbled stupidly, shredding his shirt, shoes and shorts and subsequently shocking Susie; a small shy salsa student. When he arrived home, Steve's wife asked "how was your day dear?" Steve panicked at the thought of having to explain this traumatic event, but thankfully he had undergone speech therapy for his lisp.

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There are four dead people on a boat. They commit suicide. Why did they commit suicide. To get to the other side!

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Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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why was the old man cold? ...WHY?

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Why are there clocks on stoves? Because it is a convenient way to tell the time.

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An Asian walks into a bar, but the bartender asks him to leave the bartender replies "we're closing soon" but he secretly harbored racist views that he had not yet come to terms with and was deeply ashamed of.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because its rayseans favorite number

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ASIAN- Look me in the eyes Normal human being- open them

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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Why did the pig cross the road? To chase after his adopted chicken.

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jcjdj

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what do you call a Muslim flying a plane A pilot

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"Why did Suzie fall off the swing?" "She had no arms." "What did Suzie get for Christmas?" "Cancer." "What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a tub of dead babies?" "I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage." "What did Suzie get for Christmas from me?" "My tub of dead babies."

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Why did the man crossed the busy road? Because he was sick of life.

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A man and woman was sitting at a bar. The man bought the woman a roofied drink and she has never been seen again.

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? It entered a KFC and had the unfortunate suprise of having its head cut off.

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What's the difference between and elephant and a banana? An elephant is grey.

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What is worse than a bunch of babies stapled to a tree? A bunch of trees stapled to a baby.

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What did a fireman say to his wife right after they got ran over by a stampede of bulls? nothing.... they were dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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