Schroedingers cat walked into a bar... and it didnt.

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Knock knock Who's There? Me I kill you again HA HA HA

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A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

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roses are red violets are blue i had sex with your dog

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A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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why did the young teenage boy E J A C U L A T E? because he saw his sexy dad shirtless.

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What did one gothic person say to another gothic person? Nothing. Gothic people only cut themselves.

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Does this napkin chloroform?

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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Roses are red but violets arent blue!!!!!

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what do you have to do to confuse a blond? Nothing

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My wife came up to me and said, "I want you to make me scream with 2 fingers!" So I poked her in the eyes!

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Your mama's so fat.

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Mel Gibson and a Jew walk into a bar They proceed to have a pleasant conversation and both take taxis home

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What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

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What's the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? An elevator helps society

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What's long, dark, and smelly? The unemployment line.

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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Why did the Mexican guy run to the hospital? Because it was faster than walking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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