Q: What is tall, white, and shaped like a house? A: a tall white man, if you break his limbs and twist them into the rectangular shape of a house.

Guess what I saw today?..........Nothing I'm Blind.

What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting a needle shoved up your penis and it scrapes the insides of your balls open so that all of the sperm pours out of your balls and you are screaming in agony and you can never have children in the future.

Whats grosser then gross? A dead puppy in a barrel. Whats grosser the a dead puppy in a barrel? A dead puppy in two barrels. Created by : go josh or ty :D

What do you call a black priest? Father, and then whatever his name happens to be.

What body part did German prince Heinrich von Missingpenis lack? His toenail.

A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. I don't know, why? A. I asked first.

Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

Whats worse then finding TWO worms in your apple? The Holocaust, it was pretty bad.

asian, do math

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a penis and a knife choose which one goes in you.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

LeBron in the fourth quarter

Why are watermelons green? 9, because cows like to eat grass.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was simply wandering around and happened to walk from one side of the road to the other.

a man walked into a bar. the bartender asked why he was annoyed. he answered " people keep on telling this joke and I'm tired of the making me get drunk

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

why did the boy laugh? cause he was reading this joke!

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing he died.

Connor is such a dope, he doesn't even know Betty White jokes aren't funny.

like if u think princess kenny is the fairest maiden in all the land. if u dont, disregard this message.

Why did the Pakistani man cry when the Nigerian man was killed in a terrorist attack? They were lovers.

What would happen if you put avocando, pineapple, sardines, peanut butter, brussel sprouts and milk into a blender and drank it. most probabley salmonala poisoning because the sardines were off.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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