Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some dreams stay dreams, But some dreams come true. Some want to be god, They want to have made us. But I want to be an astronaught, So I can explore Uranus.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats funnier than 24. ... DEEZ NUTS.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Why doesn't your dad want to have sex with your mom? Because my penis is already in her vagina, thus your dad's inability to place his penis in her vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

thumb_up thumb_down

Why is an Orange, Orange??? Because its not blue!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you pull when it's hailing. Your favorite electronic.

thumb_up thumb_down +119

What did the janitor have for breakfast? Food

thumb_up thumb_down -16

a black guy walks into a bar and the bartender says "get out of here, whites only" this joke takes place in the 1950's when african americans were discriminated against

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A kid had wild unprotected sex. He didn't get an STD or enpregnate the girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was John sad? His parents were murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why was the woman making a sandwich in the kitchen? because at the age of 3 she faced the hard reality of being nothing more in life then serving her husband to the day she die

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What makes boys so stupid? They like to play with girls' hearts and break them until they spew out blood all over the place.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what do the parents of a starved family do? kill their kids chop them up into little pieces and eat them.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Id like to apologize for the one below (near the end yeah at the very end yeah that near you fuck!) When I said I give candy to etc etc I did mean I do not give candy to... Well... Nothing male, and I do not apologize, thank you. Shortie: Me as a Sociopath vs Sociopath with faster gunplay: So A Sociopath moved into my neighborhood, he arrived at my place and said hey you? You the sociopa... "BOOM" Moral: Shoot first, listen later... And if you hear something keep shooting... Anyway that was not the Sociopath but I got him eventually.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the man ask the woman on a date? They were both single and looking for a unique, romantic experience that could possibly turn into a long-term loving relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did my brother drive the speed limit? Because it's the law

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What did they call the dude who was stuck on a deserted island? A: Incontinent.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the... Uh, I forgot the rest of the joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Most people like to drink beer, others do not.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What's that white, sticky stuff on your mom? A: Glue

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops