What did the Penis say to the Condom? Nothing. The human organ is not able to talk to another inanimate object, therefore it's impossible.

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My aunt used to say slow and steady wins the race she died in a fire

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

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Why are there no Jews in hell? Because Hitler is there,

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What do u call a guy that loves the color blue? A smurf

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This one time at band camp....

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A guy at a baseball game....

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What's similar about a mole and an eagle? They both are blind and dig through the ground. Except the eagle.

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Do you know what has always angered me about people not choosing to control their own lives Nero?

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How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

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THEY SAY SEEING IS BELIEVING. I NEVER SAW 9/11! 9/11? NEVER HAPPENED -Jonathan

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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why did the students in 7/8 red try to commit suicide? they had miss harding as a teacher!

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? It is highly unlikely one would have a supply of dead babies large enough to answer this question.

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you know what hurts, a revolver bullet in your brain.

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There was a man and a woman. In a lodge all alone ready to create a child. instead of having sex he violently punched her in the face and stabbed her in her armpits until her loud screams for help had stopped.

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Knock knock (who's there) Orange ( orange who) orange you glad to see

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Of course, the capacity to create a better society, is well within the natural limits of humankind, we do not need Gods in order to be strong, honorable kind, respectful, and so on, we do not need empty promises. We only need, to use our potential as humans, believe in it, and do our best only, if we desire the best results, take care of those that suffer, and believe that they will be there for us when we need them. We can all do it, humanity, yet choosing a lifestyle where we become peasants or soldiers, all promised happiness AFTER we have lived our lives, is what the people have decided. This is the extent of the average man and woman, even if it is far beyond the power of humanity.

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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whats green and has wheels grass and i lied about the wheels

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what's the difference between a zebra and a horse They are spelled differently

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Yeah, and speaking about spiderman, I got some weird senses, when I get stressed things begin seeming slower, and gets a weird blur effect, not sure what it is, but if you know what "bullet hell video games are" Technically games where you play as a tiny spaceship and lots of bullets fly around, I was always awesome at those games as a kid, because the more stress I felt while playing, the slower my perception of time felt.

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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Why did the person write an antijoke? To get to the other side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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