- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Fed-Ex, here's your new brother.

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Why couldn't the convicted felonist get back to America? He was in Antarctica and accidentally licked a flagpole.

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I like touching my boobs

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The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

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Why did the guy get hit by a bus? He walked out into traffic.

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So these two gay guys walk backwards into a bar.

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Where do black jews go? The back of the oven

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What do you get when mix an orange with juice? Orange juice.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Orange!" "Oranges can't speak, who is this really?" "Your neighbor Jake, can I borrow your lawn mower?" "Sure, let me go to the garage and get it for you."

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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A Jew, an Atheist, and a Muslim walk into a bar. They each drink a bottle, have a conversation, and leave.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I slipped you some roofies You'll be out in a few

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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Why did the Black man drown? Because he could not and did not know how to swim. Because he could not afford the lessons to learn how to swim. Because he does not have the financial means to afford a lesson in swimming. Because he is of a low socio-economic level.

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What's good about sex with twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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What do you call it? Whatever it is.

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Why can't Lake Mossman find his penis? Because he's a fat ass, and he doesn't have any arms.

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Wanna hear a joke? 9-11

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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What do you do if a Polish soldier throws a hand-grenade at you? Run.

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My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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What do you call a man who eats another man? An man eater.

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Dont read this joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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