what did the girls scream when they were being stalked? skydragon

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It's good to be a scientist and great to be a biologist. However, it is never okay to be a scientologist.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

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Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

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A blonde was drinking water from the water fountain. She was very thirsty.

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What is brown and gurgles? dead baby casserole

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 encountered 7 in the Vietnam War where he killed 6's brothers, leaving him scarred. 6 has countless nightmares due to the numerous visions that reminisce that situation in great deal. Also, 7 had a big hook on his hand, which was very scary.

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What do you call a black guy who flys a plane? A pilot.

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What do you call a guy with four heart chambers, two pairs of extremities, and an aortic arch? Anatomically normal.

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Why didn't the black man go to work? He had to attend his sister's funeral, who just recently passed away after her long hard battle with breast cancer.

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Oh and Nero, what are you suffering from? Is it dangerous? Are you dying or something? Please dont scare me like that again.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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What did the chicken say when it layed the square egg? Ouch.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

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An alcoholic walks into a bar. He wakes up the next morning in a jail cell covered in blood. 3rd time this week.

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Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

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Why do black people make the best milkshakes? because they use the finest ingredients

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2 muffins are in a oven for 30 minutes, the baker then questions why he only baked 2 muffins.

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

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what does a baby with no lims get for christmas...cancer

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Well, first of all, what I have overcome both mentally (trauma) and physically (lots of shit) is in the past, lets leave it there. Second yeah, I can basically shift my sense of left and right at will, meaning I can choose which arm to write with, and write things mirrored without even thinking about it, I can fool my senses basically, one second I struggle playing the piano because I have just trained with one, then I make my brain believe I have been practicing with both, its simple, but complicated to explain, while my ears are perfectly normal, I got two sets of balance nerves, it just gets more complicated from there.

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Why did Chuck Norris fall of the cliff? Because he was pushed.

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What is black, can fly and sing? R. Kelly.. "I believe I can fly"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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