Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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So, Elvis walks into a bathroom...

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How do you get a clown to shut up? Hit him in the face with an axe

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bench. A bench is wooden while a black guy has a human body composed of mostly water.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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asians have slitted eyes lol

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a truck.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jane from next door. Hi Jane how can I help you? Just wondering if my sister could use the spare spot on your drive tomorrow afternoon around 3pm? She is coming round for tea. I'm very sorry but my wife is due back around that time. Not a problem, thanks anyway. Have a great day. Bye Jane, see you soon, sorry again.

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What's the difference between a baby and cheese? I don't like cheese in my sandwiches.

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the waterhorse is a beautiful creature. It often frolics through fields of wheat.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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why did kermit cry?Ms.Piggy knocked him out on Christmas and he slept through the party and all of the presents

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Nero, I can barely stay awake, can we chat more later today though? I would really enjoy that, and sleep before that.

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How many Jews can you fit in an ashtray? None, it would be ridiculous to even try to fit one in an ashtray.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had just received a call from his family, hearing that his father had just been butchered. He was approaching the farm when an 18-wheeler approached. The tire flew off, hit a candy store, candy flew in the chicken's mouth, and it died of diabetes. However, right before the chicken died he finally crossed the road, not knowing he would get shot by his farmer. The chicken managed to survive the shooting to his right kidney, wiggled to his family, and died in front of his wife.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he got hit by a car because he wasn't aware of the dangers of not looking both ways. Bufoon

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What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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Hey! Do you like fishsticks? Me too :)

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why did the dentist quit his job because he had saved up enough money for his retirement

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A man has a meeting with his doctor and his doctor says "I have some bad news, you have cancer and you have alzheimer's," to which the man replies... "Well at least I don't have cancer." This is an example of a fallacy claim.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get to the other side.

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who are the worlds fastest readers? the people who jumped on 911 cause they read 48 stories in 10 seconds

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops