Why are all teachers stupid? They´re not. Why would you say that?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the Chicken cross the road? The light was red, which prompted the chicken to cross safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many unicorns does it take to change a lightbulb? Unicorns do not use lightbulbs, their technology (magic) is way too advanced to waste fossil fuels and pollute the air. Also, you can't change a lightbulb with hooves. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the difference between Google Chrome and Bing? Not much. They are both very reliable and informative internet browsers.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was the man crying? He has aids.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

banana

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is brown and sticky? A Stick

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why don't women wear watches? In the technological age we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it because it isn't coming.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A muslim walks into a bomb store. He is a police officer and quickly arrests the owners of the store because of the obvious legal violations.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocaust Whats worse that two Holocaust? Dane Cooks Comedian act

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I was born.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

2 muffins are in a oven for 30 minutes, the baker then questions why he only baked 2 muffins.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: A Mexican and a Jew are at a race. Who get hit first? A: None of them because they're from a different religion.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

On a scale of 1 to drunk how ten are you?

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A blind man walks into a bar. He backs up, takes two steps to the right, and walks around the bar rubbing his forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Whats the difference between a pile of dead babys and a Ferrari? A: I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what starts with P and ends with u-b-e-s? Paul, can you brang me some priangles and the rest of my Rubik's cubes?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops