Me, myself, and I walked into a bar. We didn't say anything to each other because I'm not schetsophrenic.

What happens when a Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. He gets a broken nose.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

What's worse than stubbing your toe? Nothing.

Starter clothing

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

Your mama's so stupid... She scored below average on a recent IQ test.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'll choke you with a hose

Whats the difference between a sandwhich and a dead baby? People eat sandwhiches.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

whats a porn stars favorite number? 69...

Listen Erron, what`s wrong? I would have told you to go fuck yourself if it where not for the fact that AzureDragon just left for the cafeteria and is nowhere to be seen.

A girl accidentally clicks on an advertisement while on anti-jokes.com, the girl silently curses and quickly presses the back button.

What's worse than having a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

Yo momma so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale!

What did the guy who dropped his iPhone do? He went out and bought a knew one.

Why does the cow eat grass? A: Because it's green. (Cows are colorblind)

Your mom is so ugly she plans on using you college funds for getting plastic surgery

How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

Why can't Helen Keller just kidding she's dead

What do you do when you walk downstairs and see your TV floating? Call Ghostbusters.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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