Have you seen Helen Keller's back porch? Neither did she.

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Do the Helen Keller... become mute, deaf, and blind.

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Why did the monkey fall off his tricycle? He got hit by a fridge.

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he had uncontrollable muscle spasms.

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a blond was walking across a river thinking how do I get across. when she saw another blond. and asked how do I get to the other side and the other said your already on the other side.

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What did the shy guy say at the speech? Nothing

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your mom is so stupid she did not do so well on her IQ test

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what did the black man do for his family? nothing

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What's the difference between Josef fritsal and a fridge? A fridge can be thrown at a bowl of custard.

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john liked the paper........ so he took it

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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what do you call a man with a bullet hole in his leg? A man who needs t see a doctor.

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Why was the black man holding the knife in such a particular manner? Because he was getting dinner ready for his family.

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When do you know when to stop making anti- jokes? when your done with your joke and click submit.

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Name a country that begins with the letter U A. True B. False C. All of the above D. None of the above

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knock knock? whose there? i dont know. i dont know who? i dont know.

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What's yellow and can not swim? A Bulldozer

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two elephants in a bathtub Elephant 1: pass me the soap Elephant 2: no, radio!

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You play the piano? What more can you do? Sounds complicated but try me.

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once, my brother took my lard and gave it to the less fortunet

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Two stoners walk into a bar. They didn't drive there because they were high and wanted to enjoy a cool, evening stroll.

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A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "No, all days are 24 hours long" the man replies, amazed at how uneducated the bartender is.

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360 NO SCOPE

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A black guy and a white guy are arguing over what race god is. So they go to god and ask what race he is. They never got their answer, because god doesn't exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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