What did the orange say to the lemon? We are both alike but a differnt color

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Whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? The boy scout comes home from camp.

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What do you call an African American who flies a plane? A Pilot

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mental kid

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Why was the little boy sad? Because his dog died

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thomas the train walked up to an old man and said nothing. mostly because trains cant walk, and they cant talk.

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What do you call a black midget with no legs and has 11 fingers? A human being

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Roses are red Violets are blue Refrigerators come in an assortment of colors

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What's the coolest place to be in the solar system? Uranus.

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What was Mozart's favorite vegetable? Aspara-gus.

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How do you make an electrician cry? Kill his family.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs falling skydiving? Jon, because that's his name.

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A guy punched himself. He then said ouch.

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Whats black, blue, and red all over? A man who has just been severally beaten.

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Hey, what do you call Sarah Palin? A Republican.

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your mommas so stupid she has trouble doing things an average person would manage easily

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Who can jump higher than a mountain? Everyone, mountains are incapapable of jumping.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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Dad, if I say shit or somethin... Dad: FALCOWN PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCH!

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"This is defamation!" proclaimed the Fox, as he sat in the panels of the courtroom. "I attest, with full honesty, Your Honor, that never have I said any of the allegations the two defendants have quoted upon me." He looked with contempt at the Ylvis brothers, who sat at the other end of the room. "I say, Your Honor," he continued, "that I never, ever in my entire life, said 'Gering-ding-ding-dingerdingerding', to which I am willing to testify."

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What do u call a black polar bear? A black bear

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How do you get five black men in a car? You offer them a good deal, then show them the car fax.

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The other day, a buddy of mine gave me some of his sandwich. "My wife made it," he said. "It's really good," I answered. We chewed in silence after that.

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Sorry, I need to take care of business up here, it is for the best that we do not communicate for a while, suspicions are going to be flaring up all over the place You better keep your head low, the place with the code-name "The Kings Throne" was under attack, but as you might know, its not what it used to be, you should all leave Point Zero in 3-4 hours when the dust has settled. Personally I suspect it is someone from the past, yes rivals, but according to the information nobody that knows who "The Nero" is, so as you can already tell, you and I are in equal danger until this is resolved. I promise to call you someday

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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