Whats worse than your roof caving in on you? Being stabbed by yard gnomes.

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The kid was riding a honda xr70r. He got hit by a non moving object and died.

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What's circular and round A circle

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I work for a Jewish Carpenter. He pays me minimum wage.

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Woah, I mean if I was not like super high right now, I would totally hate you for that, you are what we call a charming asshole Nero, you can do that kinda stuff and completely get away with it, I feel like I should be really ashamed... So like does it work on everybody reading this? That would be wack, so much fun to do that.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name is Paco, And yours is too.

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How did the chicken get to the other side? He didnt, he got ran over.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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Why did the black man rob the store? Because he was hard on money for a reason not associated with race or stereotypes whatsoever.

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To clowns walk into a bar. They don't notice each other because as soon as they walk to a 5-yard radius, the length that was said to be the range of a clowns eyesight (which was actually said by a controversial scientist, looked on as a madman; he created a whole clown-eyesight-range conspiracy), when a fire starts, creating a huge apocalyptic event. However, the two clowns go into the bar unphased. Both clowns then turn opposite directions. The clown on the right sits down with his drink and takes out his book about the Victorian Era. He constantly checks his watch. The clown on the left disapears into the croud, and steals french fries from table 36. After three hours, they both walk to the back of the bar, simultaneously tying their shoes not noticing their similarity in career choices. They both open a door marked PRIVATE (while tying their shoes). After sixteen days of exactly the same thing happening repeatedly... Both clowns see eachother on the way out of the bar. Little do the know that they are being watched by the scientist I mentioned earlier. Two Years Later Both clowns die instantly after being attacked by a giant war hammer-wielding octopus on the way home from the circus.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I t was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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What's worse than a male chauvinist pig? A woman that won't do what she's told.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

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Child: Hey mom can i go to the store with you? Mom: no son, i'm not really going to the store. I'm cheating on your father.

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What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

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Sharvil has aids 4 times

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How u know when ur sister have periods... Fathers dig taste like blood

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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What do nappies and politicians have in common? Not a lot, although President Roosevelt suffered from incontinence due to polio as a child.

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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Wat do u call a priests shit Holy shit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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