"Hey! Did you get a haircut?" "No, I just started chemo..."

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How do you spell eight? 8

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One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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What did the fly say to the frog? Nothing, insects can't talk.

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Why was the women not in the kitchen? Because she was probably doing something else

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guys cmon dont make fun about abbie make fun of josh brown WHAT A NOOB

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What do you call somebody who votes for Donald Trump? A voter. What do you call somebody who votes for Hillary Clinton? A voter.

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Why did the guy with alzheimer's say to his wife? He can't remember.

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What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas? A pair of protesthic arms which changed his life forever

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A black man and a mexican man jump off the empire state building.Who wins? Nobody,suicide is a serious thing and it is depressing to think that the minorities In America would do such a thing to themselves.

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what is worse than a joke? an anti-joke.

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How do you change your dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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What's one thing good about cancer? (make them guess) Nothing you fricking prick!

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Albert <3 Hunter

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a Mafia boss so they put him in prison.

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Why does the man hate his job? He thinks working sucks?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

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When crossing the river, why the old lady die? She was hit by a falling brick that fell from an airplane.

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How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

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a young boy once lost his mind and then his parents weeped because their son had been decapatated in a horrible motorcycle accident caused by a drunk who had just killed his wife and children and was running from the cops....

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Q. How did the blind man survive from walking of a cliff? A. He didn't he died

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why did the black person cross the road to get to his lynched sister

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Approximately 75 pounds of wood a day

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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