How do you make someone sad? Tell them they have cancer

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have 2 weeks to live.

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite movie? Around the block in 80 days.

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A horse walks into a bar, it is then frightened and bucks a man in the chest. Animal control and an ambulance are promptly called. The horse is then taken to a stable, while the man is taken to the hospital where he later made a full recovery.

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcohol and it is killing his family.

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Did you hear about Phil in accounting? No? Well he was trying to make a new type of car. He took the seats from a ford engine from a dodge, and the frame from a toyota. Do you know what he got? 5 years in jail.

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What's worse than 100 babies tied to a tree. 1 baby tied to 100 trees

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What did the black man, chinese man, and mexican man all have in common? They all happened to enjoy cantaloupe.

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Lol, thats sweet, you making me nervous in a good way now. No, the thing is that I need to use this crap every morning, yeah, but its late here now, and since I was born with this condition, remembering is far easier than forgetting, and while the bleeding has stopped now, I was never in any pain whatsoever, and the bleeding would have stopped eventually because of you know... Coagulation? But, if I lets say spend a week without my meds, things would look pretty ugly. I get the meds for cheap, by my new doctor since the old one was a bitch... Excuse me, can we take five minutes? I know I said I would return last time and did not, but I will, I am just a bit... Well, I need a bit more blood in my body right now, I am fine, no danger... If I where I would not be chatting here, but getting my ass of to the doc.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Holocast ...

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What's the difference between John Candy and Chris Farley? Nothing. They're both dead.

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Why couldn't the blond turn the TV on? Because she is blond.

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You ever notice when geese fly in a V there is one line that is always longer than the other? Do you know why that is? Because there are more geese in that line.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

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why did marybeth fall off the swing i shot her in the fart box and she died

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pudding

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The Juice where prosecuted by many time.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

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Why did the tourist cross the road? He was sightseeing.

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What did the rabbit say to the frog? If you think the rabbit said anything, you need to see a psychiatrist.

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Jake: Where's Waldo Me: Where? Jake: I don't know

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say this really fast dick chick, chick, dick, dick chick,chick dick, dick chick if you cant like it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. Our fast paced American society holds little value for birds of any species and this particular chicken was flattened by Ford F-150.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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