- Anti Joke

What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house..... knock knock! whos there? THE CHICKEN!!

What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

What is the definition of child abuse? Ms Bazan

Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

This joke is funny

Why did the chicken cross the road? Her frustrated farmer lured her with bread crums in hopes of retrieving his beloved chicken.

There are 500 bricks on an airplane. If you drop one out, how many are left? 499. There are three steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator. What are they? Open the fridge, put the elephant in, close the fridge. There are four steps to putting a deer in the fridge. What are they? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the deer in, close the fridge. The Lion King is having a birthday party. All the animals are there but one. Why is that? The deer is in the fridge. A woman wants to cross an alligator infested swamp. How does she do it? She crosses normally because the alligators are at the Lion King's party. She dies anyways. Why? She gets hit in the head with a brick.

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PATHETIC

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

on a planet, in a galaxy, far far away... you have cancer

Two men are walking in a forest And they find this deep whole, so they spit in it to see how deep it but they here nothing So they throw a rock in and still hear nothing Them they find this old tramission and throw that in. A couple second later the goat comes running by and jumps in the whole A couple minutes pass and an old farmer walks up and asks if they had seen his goat and they replied" yea it just ran and jumped into that whole. The farmer says "that's weird considering I had him tied up to an old tramission

Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

Whats brown and sticky? A peice of poo

A gay kid and a group of his friends are at the park. Gay: hey can you do a cartwheel? Girl: helllll no! Gay: Are you straight? Girl: Yah? Gay: Im gay and i can do one.

Yo mamma so fat, she is going on a diet and is very sensitive about her weight.

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Wherever you left it

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know what? SCREW YOU!

What did the homeless man get for his 34th birthday? 34 years of regret.

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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