Wife says to husband, who works is programmer, "Honey get out of bed there is a bug in the bed". Husband says "ok."

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What's greenish blue, smelly, and mushy? The fungus under my sink.

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roses are red ur face is too and if u r hot my penis is going in u

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender was incredibly biased towards religion and had the rabbi removed.

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At 1:00AM, an old man is woken up by a knocking on the door. 'Knock knock' 'Who's there' 'An orange' The man opens the door to find a talking orange on his doorstep. The man remembers he has Schizophrenia and goes back to sleep.

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These Jokes suck.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop

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What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

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Your mom is so fat, that your gonna get a brother soon.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Who has two thumbs and gets to go home tomorrow? Well, not your son. He's in a persistent vegetative state and we had to amputate both of his arms.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor dog

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How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

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What's the difference between you and a sick duck? I forget the rest but your mother's a whore.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

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A blonde walks into a bar... Typical

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when god gives you lemons you better hope he also gives you sugar or your lemonade is going to suck

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What did the Chinaman say to the other Chinaman? I dont know, he was speaking in Chinese.

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Why do you do when a homeless man asks you for money Scream bicycle and then run

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A Black Guy, A Mexican, A White guy, an Indian guy, Santa Clause and The Easter Bunny Jump off a 500 foot cliff. Which one dies? The all do. But Santa dies first because of his weight and mass.

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What is the biggest lie in everyone's childhood? "School lunch food is actually good."

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What do you call a Jew in the oven? The oven repair man

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A Muslim walks into a Bar, He buys everyone a round of drinks and enjoys the rest of his night

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Did you hear that the actress, Reese what's-her-name, got stabbed to death? Witherspoon? No, with a knife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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