my mom died because she was morbidly obese

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Listen Nero, you are the only one I suspect right now, how do you know all of this? Why should I believe you?!

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An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

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Q:what do you call someone who spends 7 hours a day playing video games? A: Someone who takes pride and joy from gaming

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him access to foodstuffs.

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police are looking for max 'cheesehead' harrison

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What happened to George's pet rock? It ran away.

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Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

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There was a brunette, a blonde and a red head, They were all great friends!

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So a crippled guy rolls into a bar..

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Steve asks Dave if he likes fish sticks. Dave says yes. Steve asks Dave if he likes to put fish sticks in his mouth. Dave says yes again. They both agree to buy some, prepare them, and eat them, as fish stick are tasty, convenient, and mildly nutritious.

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What is worse than getting a paper cut? Your whole family dying to MERS in Peru before you were old enough to remember any of them.

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What do you call a kid that hasnt passes 7th grade? A 6th grader

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whats black with purple?nothing no animals or humans have anything like that

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What are astronauts called in Soviet Russia? Cosmonauts

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Q: what sport has a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? A:the NBA

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? THE CHICKEN!

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Wat do u call a 2 root tall scottidh man named max? Max

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A Woman decides she wants to stop making sanwiches for her sexist boyfriend. She walks away and lives a happy life. In hell.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay for it, eat it and then proceed on disposing the packaging of the klondike bar

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A man goes to a doctor to check about an itch on his testicles. Turns out it was just a rash and is promptly prescribed medication and it clears up in a week.

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Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey wahy did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? because it had no arms why did the little girl fall off her bike? she got hit by three monkeys and a refridgerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops