This is my firstever post so I wanted to make it very specialand have it really mean something, then I though fark that for a joke

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Q:What do you call a duck that can fly? A:Bird.

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What did Sally get for Christmas? Nothing, Sally is dead

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I lost my tractor.

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Why didn't the boy run the marathon? He was cripple.

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Once upon a time, there were a lot of Jews......

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Q.If I have four apples and billy has 4 oranges, how many pancakes will fit on the roof. A. 3 because aliens like purple hats.

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What would you rather do or drag a board?

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aa

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Guy: guess what girl: what Guy: nevermind girl: no what Guy: i love you girl:.. i love myself too..

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I don't know which one is emptier my bank account or my love life

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Why do blondes where knickers? to keep their ankles warm

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing? I dont know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

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being sober in a bar fight

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Q: pete and re-pete were on a boat, pete fell off. who was left? A: i dont know, but why did pete fall off in the first place, that dumb ass

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on a deserted island when a genie appears and offers each of them one wish. Before making any decisions on what to wish for, the discuss what the smartest choice is. They return to the genie. The brunette wishes to return home, as does the blonde. The redhead wishes to be able to walk again. The genie denies the wish because to walk again she would have to wish for two legs. The genie leaves and the redhead eventually dies of dehydration as she cannot move and the water that she reaches from the ocean contains salt which dehydrates her faster than the water hydrates her.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

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Q: Why do Jews have big noses? A: Because air is free!

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Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

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Okay, after this one then...

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two, but I'd like to know how they got in there.

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime lying in a pool of blood.

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What did the three sixteen year old boys do to the homeless man late at night? Wished him a happy birthday and gave him a meal

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A black guy walks into a dilapidated house and purchases large amounts of narcotics. Racism isn't funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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