Whats worse than 20 dead babies in a garbage can? A: The smell

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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why did ryan go to bed? because he is a growing boy and need it to keep in line for his study's i lied about him sleeping hes dead he was abducted

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What do you call a Jew in Harlem? It depends on what his name is. I advise procuring a polite introduction from a mutual acquaintance.

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What's the difference between a plum and a bunny? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

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Why was the boy eating lunch by himself at school? Because his only friend was hit by a train.

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Found out the difference between onions and men. I don't cry when I'm chopping up men.

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Two blondes are walking down the street. One breaks her left high heel and the other is called Monica.

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**** *** *** ****** *** ** *** ***? ***** I bet you wish you could read that joke. It was **** hilarious.

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A woman crashes her car into a pole Thier family is suing for a hit and run

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A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

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Why did the patient die of aids disorder? Butt sex. Lots and lots of butt sex.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why are black people so good at sports? Through Dedication and lots of training of course

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What would you call Kenny Dalgleish if he was black? Depends on the situation. In a formal environment you would call him Mr Dalgleish, in an informal one it would be acceptable to call him Kenny, Kenneth or just Ken.

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Your mommas so fat that she may die.

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I helped build the town school. But when people see me, no one says "Hey, there's the guy that built the town school." I helped put out the flames, when the city was on fire. But when people see me they don't say "Hey, there's the hero that saved the city." But I have sex with one goat.... And people judge me justifiably asd having sex with goats is really disgusting and sticks in peoples minds.

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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Why is the chicken on the road? Cuz he died trying to get to the other side.

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Five people all from different backgrounds get in a car and nobody get's raped.

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What do you call 200 black people dead in the ocean? It's a start.

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You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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