A young boy walked in on his mom and dad in their room lastnight They were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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how do you kill chuck norris? you dont, killing is illegal

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to its dying chicks who were just run over.

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what didn't Jon go to the movies? He tripped and broke his neck and cant look up

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Why did the american block the road? Because he just ate at Mc donalds.

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Why didnt jerry trip over a slug? Because jerry is an arabian and the atmosphere in arabi is to hot for a slug.

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Why Did the Drug dealer die He Got Hit by a buss

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What do you do when you're surrounded by 15 vampires and 15 werewolves? Stop pretending.

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What's the only thing more horrible than trash can full of dead babies? A live one at the bottom. What's more horrible than that? He has to eat his way out. What's more horrible than that? He goes back for more. What's more horrible than that? This all took place in my garage while I was watching.

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A paralysed man falls over.

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Why did the monkey eat his own poop? Because there was minimal resources where he was so he resorted to eat his own fecal matter

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Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation.

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What's worse than dying of boredom? ...Being stabbed.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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A man was walking on the sidewalk until he saw a bird. He said, "Is that a bird?", and it was a bird.

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this sentence will not monkey banana pie

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why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

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imagine a world without santa ill make it easy, lookout the window

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Yellow People !!

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Q. Why Did The Blond Have The Biggest Tits In The Third Grade? A. Because She Was 21

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I guy goes into a coffee shop and says I'll have a coffee and a danish. The clerk says we're all out of danish. The guy says I'll just have the danish then.

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What's black and white and red all over? A modern abstract painting

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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