What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing. I lied about the deer.

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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3 blind mice walk into a bar. they have no idea of their surroundings and are quickly crushed to death.

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Women's Rights.

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why did corey cross the road? the green man flashed.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 1027

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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Why is Cindy crying? She got a branch stuck in her eye which irritated her sensitive cornea so her tear duct produced a tear to help shed the material from her eye.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

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Yo Mama so stupid she thought "Dunkin Doughnuts" was a basketball team.

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man said to the bartender "I'll have a H2O, please." His friend said "Yeah, I'll have a H2O too." The bartended wasn't an idiot and was aware that he was in a bar, not a science lab, and handed them both a bottle of H2O. His friend still died.

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What is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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Why couldnt Helen Keller drive? Because She was Blind you sexist asshole

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Do you know what Stevie Wonder's house looks like? No. Well, neither does he.

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What's black and white and red all over? Two nuns in a chainsaw fight.

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Three men walk into a bar. A fourth man ducks.

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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What has two legs and is covered in red. Half a dog.

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What did Sally get on her 18th birthday? Herpes

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Why would Obama like to be ahead of some guy's poll and bent over at the same time? Because being ahead in someone's poll is encouraging news for his election campaign and bending over is part of the exercise program he uses to stay in shape.

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What does the fox say? Nothing a fox is incapable of speech.

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Q: What did the horse say to the other horse? A: Nothing, Horses are incapable of making verbal communication therefore they cant speak to each other.

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- I have cancer. - SUCK IT UP!!!

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Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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