roses are red, violets are blue, no one cares, your adopted.

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Cancer. What did he get for his birthday? He didn't make it that far...

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because chickens can move and the road just happened to be in its path.

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Why are Mexicans so good at jumping, swimming and running? They aren't. You're just racist.

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A: Did you know that cashews come from a fruit? B: Not really. This is an interesting fact. Any other facts you have? A: yes ("A" was lying)

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a guy walks into a bar. he suffered a severe concussion. BECAUSE THE BAR A POLE

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What did the black man say tovtye chinese man? Hello sir how are you today?

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A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

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What did the quarter say to the dime? nothing.

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Your momma is so old, it's just irresponsible of her not to have regular doctor appointments. Health should always come first.

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Looks like you are having a TUFF time recovering from the game.....lol.....

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question: do zombies eat brains answer: actually zombies don't exist, so they don't eat anything

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Why is it bad to have 10 blond girls in a closet at the same time? The closet is a very compacted space and one of them is a claustrophobic.

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whats red that looks like ketchup taste like ketchup and is't tomato sorce? ketchup

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A goose walks into a bar. Maybe he should have ducked.

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I saw a TV show last night. And it was good.

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Ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass...! I said "ass" a lot, sorry for the language

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What type of food was the black guy eating? fruit, he is on a diet

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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Do you have to be so, you know... Open about what we are gonna do and stuff? I mean I know some people here, and you are a married man and you know.

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What is blue and has blue shoes? A blue shoe box

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What do a squirrel and a grape have in common? They are both purple except for the squirrel.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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brandon ya twwat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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