Nicholas Salek did not write the message below. It was a joke one of his mates played!!

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what kind of person screaws in a light blub........ a electrician

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Friends, they're like food. If you eat them, they die.

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what goes plop, plop, fizz, fizz? baby twins in an acid bath.

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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What do dead babies and trash both have in common? They're both in my dumpster.

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My girlfriend says i cant finish a sentence properly dripping horse cum fetus rape.

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, we have mutual friends, and violets are blue and roses are red. FRIDGE

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Q: What did the hooker say to the priest? A: That was a wonderful sermon. I look forward to next Sunday's church service.

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What do you call the white woman who bought kool-aid for a black man. a good friend.

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Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

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What's round and bounces A basketball No!!!!!!! You dummy!!! Then what? Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What was Hellen Keller's Dog's name? Kamikaze Go, it was the first Akita Dog in the United States.

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I would have buttered my bread, but the pool was cold.

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Crime doesn't pay. Sure it does

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Why did the chicken cross the road? This website is terrible. Are you servers from 1990? I hope you all get cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw food on the other side the the farmer was going to chop his head off.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

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How do you identify a Chinese tank? They smash their own people.

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How many walls can you paint with a baby? Depends on how hard you throw it.

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Knock, Knock! Who`s there? Your mama`s stupid! Your mama`s stupid who? Your mama`s stupid as a rock! I` m going to cut your eyes out and use them as baseballs!

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whats the diffrence between madeline macan and a submarine? there isnt one there both at the bottom of the sea and full of seaman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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