Why did the blonde get a good occupation? Because she had a great education in a private school.

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What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? We are both dinosaurs.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why do people eat babies? Because they're delicious.

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A man with ADD walks into a bar, what did he say? Look a squirrel!!!

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What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

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Doctor, I've caught a cold. Take a Halls.

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Whats the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari? The Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A horse fell in the mud.

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what do you do when your girlfriend gives you head while playing MW3? continue to play while politely asking her sister to make you a sandwhich

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Hello, nice to meet you.

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How many amish people does it take to screw in a light blub? None as the amish don't require artificial light

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What did the sexually promiscuous man get for Christmas? AIDS.

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yo mamma so fat she seen a yellow train full of white people and she said stop that twinkie

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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A rock walks into a bar. The town goes into extreme panic and is abandoned because rocks are inanimate objects.

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The Mets win the World Series

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What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms.

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Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A:He was shot in the face

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A dyslexic woman wears a bar.

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What happened to Dave when he walked across the road? He got hit by a car and died... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Dave...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

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Q. why are black people so good at sports? A. Hardwork and dedication.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ghuieruioytidhfdvbshdkhfjh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops