Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Being caught by the store manager, arrested, convicted, and thrown into jail for petty theft and then getting ass-raped for the next 3 months all because you wanted to check an apple without paying for it.

Why does Billy Mays yell? He doesn't, he's dead.

You should read the Terms of Service.

Want to hear the best joke ever? Want to hear it again?

How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

i like going to public parks and watching the kids run and yell because they dont know im using blanks

Did you hear about the kidnapping in New York? He woke up.

Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice T!ts

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

what types of people have big noses? people whose parents both carried the recesive gene.

Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

Water is blue. Fire is red. Come on let me show you what happen in the bed.

why did billy fall on the sidewalk? he got stabbed

Whats the difference between a pizza and your opinion? I asked for the pizza

What's the difference between Josef fritsal and a fridge? A fridge can be thrown at a bowl of custard.

What has two legs and can't walk. Someone thats paralyzed!

What did the white guy say to the Mexican guy? Nothing he realize that the Mexican guy probably didn't speak English and he couldn't speak Spanish so conversing with this man would have been pointless.

Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

How do you punish Helen Keller? Sit her in the corner and deprive her of things she likes to do.

There is a boy in a school............. SUDDENTLY, PEDOBEAR APPEARS!

Q: What did the bulbasaur say to the charmanderr?? A: bulbasaurrr

WHY did the man refuse to put on his shoes? He didnt want shoes on

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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