Why did the black guy buy a bucket of KFC? Because he was hungry

Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

Jeremy has 8 apples. Susie has 3. how much does Jason have? Purple because aliens don't like grapes.

What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

Gay jokes are a real pain in the butt.

What did the teacher say to the pupil who was bad at maths? You are bad at maths and will never complete any sum EVER!

João Duarte reads this.

Why wasn't the dog obedient? Because it was dead.

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Why don't Vikings read the New York Times? Because they all died centuries ago. And none of them live in New York.

what did little johnny scream at the xbox after he lost a game? god what the hell! Muskcrat143 i told u to cover my back when i had my predator missile! now my covers blown and i lost my killstreak! god u suck so much and Hippo099 why didn't u kill them before they got a killstreak like wtf!!! i told u to use ur semtex cause i had a claymore set down jeez u guys suck i'm leaving.

Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

A Knock, Knock B There's no door. What are you knocking on?

Your mom is so fat she should probably go to her doctor and ask for a prescription of diabetic pills

What do you get when you put a woman in a room with 4 guys? She gets Gang Banged.

The original Moral Man has left Horsehead network, but I will keep monitoring this section for like 3 hours... Then probably never again on this shit site it barely works ffs! Moral: "Turn every stone, and you might find a penny, turn every penny and you might find a stone that stone is in our shoe, kick it away, crush it, destroy it"

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican is human being, and has no simalarities to an average day wooden bench.

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, because feminists can't change anything

roses are red violets are blue get down your trousers cause im waiting for you

When we was Antarctica and it was cold we would huddles arounds a candles. What did we do when it was colder? We lit the candle,

How did the fat guy die? After an autopsy, it was discovered he was unaware of his type 2 diabetes and therefore did not treat it

Person1: wanna hear a joke? Person2: yeah Person1: ok

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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