I just found my mum has Alzheimer's, I hope it isn't contagious cause my mum has it too

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Hitler had the right ideas, wne tupon it the wrong way.

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A woman goes into the supermarket and buys a single banana, a canned meal for one and some ice cream. While paying for her items, the cashier looks up at her and says "I can tell you're single" "Oh yeah? How'd you know?" The woman asks. "Because you're ugly as fuck." Replies the cashier.

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Why did the boy stop singing? Because his lungs collapsed.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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Decode this; Hetay owcay aidsay oomay. Answer: ummmmm.... Let me think....ummm, does anybody speak pig latin?

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It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

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A horse walks into a bar, it broke both its legs and was then put down.

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What do gay horses eat?........ Cheese

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Whats better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. Because, often, friends go out together in social situations.

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So a cat a dog are in a field.The dog then proceeds to eat the cat and take a nap

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whats the difference between friends and cement? if you soak friends in liquid and then repeatadly shock them they will die

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Why was the boy crying last night? - a clown raped him

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Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

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Two men are sitting in a pub. One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.' The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidize her drug habit.'

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Twelve men walk into a bar, and get stuck in the door because it's far too small for all of them to walk through at the same time.

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Q: What did the dog say to the owner when he took him to the vet? A: Nothing. It's a dog. It can't talk.

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What did the dog say to the human? Nothing really. Dogs technically "speak" through barking.

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Why did the Jew die? Because Hitler was born...

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What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

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Whats plastic and phonie a phone

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-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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