A dog walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender goes to get him a drink, but then realizes how ridiculous this is and wakes up from his dream. He rolls over to tell his wife about it, but she ignores him. He begins to cry silently, realizing his marriage is in shambles.

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What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney Loves you.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

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what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

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Why did the man rob a convenience store? Don't ask why, call the police! He could be robbing more stores!

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Why did the airplane crash? It was hit by a flying refrigerator.

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Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

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What did Bush say to Obama was elected? I'm going to have you assassinated.

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whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

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A cheeseburger and fries walk into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve lunch"

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting Doctor Interru- You have cancer.

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? You throw a brick at it.

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As a wise man once told me... "natives."

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guess what chicken butt

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken so it will wonder when not properly fenced in

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whyd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side :)

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What's better than having sex ? Having sex and being rich.

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Knock Knock Who's There Seventeen Thirty Eight I'm like hey what's up hello Seen yo pretty ass soon as you came in that door I just wanna chill, got a sack for us to roll Married to the money, introduced her to my stove Showed her how to whip it, now she remixin' for low She my trap queen, let her hit the bando We be countin' up, watch how far them bands go We just set a goal, talkin' matchin' Lambos Got 56 a gram, prob' a 100 grams though Man, I swear I love her how she work the damn pole Hit the strip club, we be letting bands go Everybody hating, we just call them fans though In love with the money, I ain't never letting go And I get high with my baby (baby) I just left the mall, I'm getting fly with my baby, yeah

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A wooly mammoth and a dodo bird walk into a bar. Just kidding.

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are u black unlucky

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Yd the chicken cross the road? To SAVE THE WORLD

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What is black, white, and red all over? The Wall

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What happened after Peter broke his toe? He went into cardiac arrest and died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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