your social life.

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There was a guy and a girl naked in bed, sleeping together. When they woke up they didn't remember the last 72 hours and wanted some questions answered, including Where am I? Who are you? What year is it? What's my name?

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What makes a catholic priest happier then a visit to the penn state locker room? Introducing Jesus to people and them accepting him as their savior.

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What's big, red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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i was scrolling through the anti-jokes and saw one that just said refridgerator. i laughed. penis.

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How do you get Jack to fall of his bike? Push him off

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Why did the blonde driver crossed the red light? Because she has a good notion of physics and realized that the truck that was behind her was too fast to stop in time and if she braked there could have been an accident.

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So three philosophers walk into a bar. Is it necessarily the case that they walk into a bar?

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Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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What do you call a dead black man? A corpse.

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Billy and Joseph are playing Rock paper scissors. Billy says paper. Joseph proceeds to throw a rock as hard as he can at Billys face and sends him to the emergency room where he was later diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer.

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Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Ele PHa n T

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Knock Knock. Who the hells there? Nevermind.

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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A man is talking to his friend at work. The man asks his friend, "Did you see the game last night?" Then a plane crashes into the building and we call it 911

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why didn't the dog run after the ball? he was blind.

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how did the little girl die cancer

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What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

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What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm bitten in half in your apple.

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Why are people in Africa dying? because the majority of them have a lack of food and fresh water which effects their health.

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dyslexics of the world untie!

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh wait... I'm blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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