whats fat and sits on a toilet? a fat guy sitting on the toilet

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Why did the fat guy pick up a noodle from the floor with his buttcheeks? He felt like pasta.

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How many software professionals does it take to get a file committed to source control? Well, today it took five.

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If at first you don't succeed, there's a very substantial probability that you failed.

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What did Abraham lincoln do after getting assassinated? Certainly not riding a bike thats for sure.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Women's rights.

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How much is that doggy in the window? It's not for sale....it's waiting to be euthanized.

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What's the difference between a lesbian and a Pringle ? One is a snack cracker, the other is a crack snacker.

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look at your sister now look at me now look at your sister now look at me you probably have now realized that you cant see me.

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Father Murphy met Samuel Myer on the street. Sam it's been a month o' Sundays since I've seen you. You look propserous. How's the moile business? A snip better, Father, since we talked last. And thank you. For what, Sam? Well the last time we met you asked what I did with the foreskins. Well, here is the answer, my new business. What's this, a wallet. But so smooth, Sam. Yeah, Father, but when you rub it. Rub it, Sam? Yeah when you rub it it falls apart. And you have to buy a new one! Mazel Tov!

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' Cheese

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Knock Knock Why are you knocking? I have a doorbell.

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What's black and white and red all over? A bloody zebra.

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My name's Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump.

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Yo momma was so ugly that everybody died.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Buttercups are yellow Thats about it

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How did the blind dyslexic boy find his way out of the cornfield? -He drew backwords numbers and letters in the dirt

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A black man trips and falls down. You help him up and ask him if he needs any help. After a brief friendly talk you both continue on your separate ways.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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Yo mamas so stupid that she received slightly below average in her latest maths test

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Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas. A: A bicycle.

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Knock knock. Who's there? No one, because your house burned down.

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Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they're all dead.

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Why do dogs lick their balls? Why? Because they can.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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