Why was the little boy sad? He tried to dry off his puppy in the oven.

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Would I ever lie to you? No, because lying is bad.

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Knock knock. Who's there? To get the other side!

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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knock,knock who's there? the postman didn't answer as he is deaf

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STFU Stop Tickling Fuzzy Unicorns they really don't like it

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Ten minutes later we're enjoying delicious muffins together.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

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What do you get when you cross professor plum with a candle stick in the library? A dead prostitute. Try and be more careful next time.

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why cant Joey jump for joy? beacause hes dead

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What did batman say to robin when they got to their car? Get in the car

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What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide? where to find some cheap cyanide

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What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

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What do you call a dog that acts like a cat, likes to pretend he's human, and whose name is "Moose"? A dog. His personality traits have no effect on the changing of his species.

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What's the difference between a whore and a blonde? There is not enough information to answer this question.

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Velcro. What a rip off.

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Your computer runs so slow that I had to run a virus scan.

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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A man walks into a bar...... He then wakes up in a hospital. along with a large bruise on his forehead.

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why did the guy throw his clock out the window? because he wanted to see a clock fall out the window

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There's two muffins in an oven, the first muffin says "Woah, it's really hot in here!". The second muffin says "Oh my God! A talking muffin!"

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Why was the new born on the orphanage's doorstep? He was an accident.

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what do you call a dead man rolling down a hill on fire, being shot in the head, and strapped to a bomb Dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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