What did the chair say to the fan? Nothing. Chairs and fans are objects so they do not have the physical ability to talk.

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Why do people like vacations? To get out of your family

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What's big, white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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why did santa fall of the roof? Because the roof was slippery from the ice.

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Why did the little girl selling lemon aid die? Someone drove by and threw a fridge at her

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Yo mama's so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease she was given 10 years to live.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Photoshop

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How do you make time fly? Well! You cannot really make time fly. Imean, yeah, iguess it feels like time flies when your having fun, but it moves just as fast as always!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Pump up the pasta You need bigger boobs

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Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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Mary Lu was swinging on a swing * swush swush* and her mom was sweeping the porch when she sad Mary Lu go get that big fat shiny quarter on that road then Mary Lu say how about you get your self that big fat shiny quarter.! Her mom drop the broom in discussed and walkout into the road and was bout to bend down when swush a bus runs her over And Mary Lu just laughed and laughed she knew that wasn't a big fat shiny quarter it was a nickel!!!!

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Roses are dead. Violets are dead. I'm a bad gardener.

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Whats black, white, and huge? The world if you are a dog.

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How many people with ADD does it take to...Oh look! Shiny!!!

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God is real.

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How do you leave a jackass in suspense? I'll tell you later.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the side of the road? A: To get to the other vagina

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What do you call a purple apple? Bruised.

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How do black people vote? They go to their polling place, register, then vote for their candidate on election day.

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was raped when i was little.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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