What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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Roses are red my name is Dave this poem makes no sense, micorwave

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Q: How many Jews can fit in a four door Sudan? A: Two in the front, three in the back, six million in the ash trey.

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Why did the...uhh.... Lamp.

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

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Q: How did the Irishman die? A: He was old.

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What was so incredible about this bigger new oven i just bought? It could fit twice as many Jews in it. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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roses are red violets are blue polar bears are white grass tends to be green

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what do you call a seagull that flies over the bay? -a seagull

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Where's Justin Beiber? With his girlfriend.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What do Ethiopians do on Fridays? Starve.

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two tomatoes are running and one stops to tie its shoe and the other says "Catch up!" This begins to put the first tomato on the spot and he runs after the second tomato without finishing his shoe and he trips falls and dies of severe brain damage

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dog. Dog who? I have a dog.

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What did George Washington say to his men before they got on a boat? Men, get on the boat

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What did the banana say to the tree? Nothing, bananas can't talk

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What's red and green? A frog in a blender!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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a man walks into a bar the bar tender says why the long face? i just walked into a bar

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

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A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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