A stop sign walks into a bar. Looks like somebody invented walking stop signs.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her repeatedly in the chest with a ball point pen

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How do you stop a charging rhinocerous? Nuke africa.

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One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

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Yo mommas so fat they had to change 'one size fits all' to 'one size fits most'

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

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Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

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what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

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Want to see a funny movie? -Watch Schindler's List

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy but get in the van

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What do you get when you come across a blonde. Depression, because you want to do her, but you know that will never happen cause you spend to much time sitting on your ass looking at anti-jokes.

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whos the biggest oaf................................ coasta

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because it is very unsafe for blind individuals to operate motor vehicles.

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What is white and flies upwards? A retarded Snowflake.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personalities So do I

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Why couldn't the mexican buy a boat? Because he couldn't afford it

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What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

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your mamma so dumb she makes frankienstien look smart

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How do you kill a diabetic? Take away their insuline

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A Jew walks into a furnace.. The bartender says "What'll you have?" The Jew wonders why there is a bartender in this furnace, then they die.

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Why was Jesus Christ white? Because it would be a lot better if I had more confidence in myself...

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Why does your mom not love you.... Because she is not your real mom.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a shot. The bartender asks to see his I.D. The man explains that he had lost his I.D. earlier in the day. The bartender then asked the man to leave, so he left.

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Why do Jews circumcise their children.......because they like everything 10% off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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