Why wasn't Susie happy? because she was raped by her grandfather.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting attacked by an evil demonic llama.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what is worse than the holocaust harry' ear acne

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do Michael Jordan and LeBron James have in common? They both have won NBA championships...except for Lebron.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

An alcoholic walks into a bar. He is destroying his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm bitten in half in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What did the pineapple say to the orange? Nothing; Neither a pineapple nor an orange contains the necessary muscles to produce speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +4

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why didn't Tom have to pay for his ride to the funeral? Because he was dead and in a coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Parkinson's dl;ghd;jgfldsj;foshdgoljdlkfnjslpaoijejknjvnoidnmaokepinjndonfvio

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the man cross the road? His mother had recently passed away after a 12 year battle with lung cancer and is visiting her tombstone.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the kid crying Cuz there was a frog stapled to his head

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what do you call Tim Tebow on a bike with a clown hat on? Tim, Mr. Tebow whatever you want

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what did Tim get for Valentimes day? nothing, no such day exists. spell check

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.” The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?” The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q why did the girl scream A she got hit with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did the black guy die? cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I guess we will have to see, if I where to one day use my ways of thinking with the intention to become the most corrupt politician of them all, do you think I would succeed?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down

My girlfriend said she doesn't like anti jokes and now i'm single ha ha just kidding.... she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops