Q: What did the mute kid say to his mother ?

You know how I felt about Nero, no way id ever date anyone but you, back then that is. Fine I will come along, I bet you left the base at "point zero" without the information he left, you have not changed a bit Seth, always too impulsive for your own good, but Nero was always like that and that, turned out, well damn. Tell me first, if you come get me, how much have you really changed mentally from the last time we met? You sincerely sound like a psychopath and I could use a shoulder to cry on rather than be escorted to some sick torture dungeon thing. I gather you are not far away, could you please get over here asap? I do not care about more than the standard code anymore, you have not changed much, except you are a deranged psychopath now, I get it, in your place I think id do the same, I have no idea how bad Nero was doing when you found him, and I sure as hell dont want to know.

Yo Momma's so old... She has lived a great life and you should be very proud of her even though she is slowly dying of a degenerative disease.

How do you kill a cow while your carrying a gun Shoot him

hohifooncuiohicvsdhn ioshd

Man 1: Not to be gay or anything, but I really like your shirt, it looks nice on you. Man 2: Not to be gay or anything, but I like men.

3 guys walk into a bar to tell an anti joke. The bartender asks them to leave.

What did the Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know. I can't speak Chinese.

Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

A priest a rabbi and an iman are stuck in the desert. After walking for days without rescue or civilisation in sight, and rapidly running out of food and water, they decide to each pray to their respective gods for rescue, and in doing so solve the ultimate question of which religion is the true religion. They all die.

there are three girls one said daddy why is my name rose because a rose fell on her head when yur a baby. daddy why is my name feather because a feather fell on your head when your a baby mumamhama, SHUT UP CINDER BLOCK!

What's black & sits at the top of the staircase? A quadriplegic after a house fire.

Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

A black man walks into a Subway restaurant, and goes up to the counter. The cashier already knows that he's going to order the chicken, but how does he know? Because the black man is a regular, and orders the same thing every time.

Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

text your mom saying you need help, then turn on vibrate and shove the phone up your ass.

Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

Why did the teenage girl pee on a stick? She and her boyfriend had foolishly engaged in unprotected sex two weeks before, and she was now concerned that she may be pregnant.

What do you call a black man who goes to college? A scholar.

why did rhys jones get shot. because he was there

What happened to the kid who slept on a roof? He died

whos a tramp and stinks? David Bell

how did they guy with no legs in the wheel chair walk? he couldnt because he had no legs.

Nock nock. Whose there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh. ( mmmmooooo)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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