Why did YUR MOM cross the road? To go slap her annoying-ass twelve year old for using "your mom" as an insult.

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What's worse than a broke pencil TWO broken pencilz

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What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

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why did the bus hit the kid? he dropped his ice cream.

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Roses are red, viotels are blue. God made me pretty, what happened to you?

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Priority parking for hybrid cars

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What do you get when you put two landsharks together? Three landsharks.

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Why did the director call cut? Because he was shot dead by Nazis.

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If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.

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How many people buried in a cemetery are dead? All of them.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your best friend, and I'll always be there for you.

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What did the black father say to his daughter? you're adopted

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An Atheist sneezed. Everyone around him said, "God bless you." He thanked them and continued on with his day.

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what does 2+2equals? i think its 3 but i could be wrong

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Good to know tattletale, I remember hating you back then when you betrayed me, but I cant wait to meet you again. Anyway Nero, I am a girl, its not about sex with me, I just had to tell you, and hope you will take better care of yourself, I know you used to be worried about your looks, and I just want you to understand ill be there for you no matter what. Thanks for the kind words Nero, I know you mean them, you never hid the fact that you found me attractive, but while I did not understand then why you would ruin every nice moment by saying something cheesy or rude, I think I get it now... I know you need rest, but can I arrive as soon as possible? Ill just wait outside or something, I wont be a bother I promise.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did Jerry Sandusky get for Christmas? Raped in jail.

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What do you call an alligator in a vest? An amphibious mammal wearing clothes. Why would you ask me that.

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why are they called the melbourne storms? Because you turn 360 degrees and walk away

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

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Why didn't Sally eat the meatballs The meatballs ate her

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have Cancer."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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