Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

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Your mama's so fat, that it's ruined her self-esteem.

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Whats the difference between a baby and my freezer? I don't stick my meat in the freezer!

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a potato walks into a bar. people stare as it is physically impossible for a potato to walk since it is a vegetable

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Why was Timmy strong? Because his dad injected steroids through his asshole.

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whats more annoying than being raped by a giant scorpian? finding out that half the anti-jokes are terrible

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Do you know what's the sexiest thing in the world? Sex.

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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Why did the Gazelle run away. Because a lion was nearby and as we all know, nature called for the lion to be a carnivore, so the gazelle is in danger of being consumed by the lion.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because it was going to the destination he wanted to go to.

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Why didn't the teenager go to high school? He was murdered

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What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

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a priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar...and the bartender goes...what is this a joke? mr. healey

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The Christian Bible.

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What do you call a car with no wheels or engine? Immobile

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Q: Why did Sara fall off the swing? A: She had no arms... Q: Knock Knock! Q: Who's there? A: NOT SARA! --- Q: Okay... What song does Sara sing to her arms? A: Somebody That I Used To Know... --- Now. If you're happy and you know it clap your... nevermind O_O

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am man walks into a bar, and suffers from brain damage

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What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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Why couldn't the kid get in to see the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13, and he was only 11. Plus, he had no money, and his mother didn't want him watching movies like that.

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what do you call the one eyed man in the land of the blind? You call him an outcast

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What can hitler cook well Steak

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A Black man and a Hispanic man were sitting in the back seat of a car. Who was driving? Their Asian friend who offered to take them to get lunch.

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What's the difference between Wayne Gretzky and Courtney Love? They have different proffesions

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Whats the difference of a pile of dead babys and a lambrogini? One of them is not inside of my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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