What is colored and looks good hanging from trees? Oranges. Get your mind out of the gutter!

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A man walked into doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

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What do you call a black guy riding a unicycle? A black guy riding a unicycle.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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Why was the black man in prison? He was wrongly accused of a felony and the jury by whom he was tried was largely racist.

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why did katy fall off her bike?

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What ended my last relationship? Oncoming traffic.

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Which disney princess always stays old? Snow White

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Beka has AIDS

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Q: Why did the black man fall off of the cliff? A: He was the victim of a hate crime and his body had to be dumped somewhere

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What did the boy in the striped pajamas get for Christmas? A shower.

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot of his head

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

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And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

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Zach Murfitt has a huge penis! Lol jk he has an inchy stryder

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Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

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Tell my wife I died doing what I love... Not her

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What's black and white and red all over? A piece of discarded newspaper previously covering the half dismembered torso of a dead prostitute.

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What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? When I see a Porsche on the street, I think to myself, "that's a nice car," but when I see a pile of dead babies on the street I scream, "OH DEAR GOD WHY?!?! WHY?!?! WHERE IS THE MONSTER THAT KILLED THESE POOR BABIES?!?!" I then quickly alert the authorities of the hideous crime before vomiting profusely and crying until my tear ducts run dry. I sustain irreversible psychological damage and the image of hundreds of cruelly murdered infants prevents me from sleeping at night.

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How can you tell two twin sisters apart? Look at one twin, then look at the other, and acknowledge that they are two different people.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

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There is a asian, mexican and a blonde boy at school. Every day they each get the same food for lunch. The asian always got noodles. The mexican a taco. the blonde boy got pb and j. They decide if they get this lunch again, they will jump off a cliff. The next day they get the same lunch and jump off a cliff. At their funeral the asian mom says " if i had known, i would have made her sushi." the mexican mom says " i would have made her a burrito." The blonde's dad say "hey don't look at me, he makes his own lunch."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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