What did the def blind mute kid get for christmas? He doesnt know either

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I found my car in the lot with a broken tail-light and a note under the windscreen wipers. I accidentally reversed into your car, Lots of people saw me do it. They all think I'm writing down my name and details, Well, I'm not.

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Why is Santa's sack so big? He has a malignant tumour on his testicle. We're all very worried about him.

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Knock Knock Who's There Me

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because lately the posts on "anti-joke.com" have not been anti-jokes. Not even a little.

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Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." Then there is silence and a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone the guy says "I shot in the air and my friend heard it and moved. I think he's still alive." The operator says "Good that means he's still breathing and he's not dead."

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What did the Lightning Bolt say to the Thunder Cloud? WATTSup?

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What's yellow and if it gets in your eye, you'll die? a yellow train.

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What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

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What does Yoko Ono say while rehearsing her song before a concert? She gives directions to the band.

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What would you call Kenny Dalgleish if he was black? Mr Dalgleish in a formal setting, Kenny in an informal one.

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what did the smoker say to the doctor? nothing she died of lung cancer.

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how do you scare a blonde person? dress up in orange and scream "mustard"

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The other day, a buddy of mine gave me some of his sandwich. "My wife made it," he said. "It's really good," I answered. We chewed in silence after that.

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There's a bunch of people standing around a retard...why is no one laughing? Its his funeral

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You know what they say about guys with really big feet? They own big shoes.

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Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocost

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Man sees a hot girl. The hot girl sees him. The man asks her out on a date. After five years of dating he asks for her hand in marriage. She says "No way, I'm married you horror!!!" The man cries and moves in with his mom... Two days later he commits suicide.

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Whats more sad then four black men in a car driving off a cliff? The man they stolen the car from doesn't have car insurance.

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Q: Why don't people like me? A: Because I smell bad and I give off a creepy vibe

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what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

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What's worse than the holocaust? The holocaust was one of the most terrible incidents in history there are very few things worse than.

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You know what the stupidest country in the world is? Equatorial Guinea

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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