Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

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the only people that will miss whitney huston are her drug dealer and possibly bobby brown

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the person who wrote 1 under me is gay

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says: both your legs are broken in 10 places, you will never walk again.

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what has hair and can fly? a human.. i lied about the flying.

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Q: what weighs 6 ounces sits in a tree and is very deadly? A: a sparrow with a machine gun

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 7 ate 9.

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Two Cows are knitting soda water in a lightbulb. One of them said: Talking about milk, what time is it? The other pulls out a thermometer, looked at it and said: Wednesday.

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How did the cat die? I just it nine times

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Why couldn't the 10-year-old go to the moon? Because it's the Moo-oo-ooo... no you can't come!

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What did the kid with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? A: Polio.

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You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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How do you know that god was a male? You don't, that's why it's called faith.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? I don't hammer the watermon

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A man is pulled over because he is suspected of drunk driving. The officer comes to the window and is greeted by a man who then replies: What seems to be the officer, problem?

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Why did Captain Hook die? He wiped.

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Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

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Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

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Q: How did Muhamid Ali ( casius clay ) get a black eye? A: He was born

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How do you scare off a ghost? Tell him your ready for a commitment.

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Man I'm Bored Nice to meet you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops