What do u call a six year old boy holding a gun. illegal

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why did my girlfriend fail her test? she was pregnant :'(

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The Dark knight rises................. From the place he was before he rose.

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What did Cinderella wear at the ball? Clothes

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Why did the Liberal tell the truth? If one ever does we will have the answer.

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOUR MOM! Me: -is dead.

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Once there was Girl whose Teeth were Crooked. She got Braces.

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Why couldn't Lucy get her driver's license? Because she has Cerebral Palsy!

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How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

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Where do cows go to have fun? Cows don't have a concept of fun as such, but they would probably go to a large, sunny field full of lush, green grass with a bubbling river and plenty of shade.

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What do you call a retarded man? Nothing, because it's inappropriate to call retarded people names.

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I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

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What kind of Juice do White supremacists Hate the most? Minute Maid.

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Roses are red, violets are red, everything's red... Retinal haemorrhage.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

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What did the dog say to the mailman? nothing, dogs lack the mental capacity for human speech therefore he was unable to communicate his message verbally

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police, your entire family has died in a terrible car accident.

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Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Big Brother. Big Brother who? That's right. ALL are who, Akbar!

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There's a tray of muffins in the oven. One muffin says, "man it's hot in here!" Another muffin says, "holy shit! A talking muffin!"

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A mama cow was sitting in the barn with her 3 babies. The first baby cow goes "Mom, why did you name me Daisy?" "Because a Daisy landed on your head when you were born" The second calf goes "Mom, why did you name me Rose?" "Because a Rose petal landed on your head when you where born." The third calf says "Aasdfghoiuytfghjkuiy" The mom replies "Shut up brick"

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What has the head of a lion, the body of a mule, and the penis of a seal? Nothing... what the hell did you think it was? Are you on drugs or something?

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

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Q: Why is the Universe so big? A: Because it is the same size as my penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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