How do you make a plumber cry? Murder his family.

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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an irishman an american and a jihadist get a plane were did they go right through my house

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What does Helen Keller put at the end of every sentence? A period.

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yo mommas so ugly that everyone died.

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? As they can't find any, they are just squirrels, they can not asist little timmy choking on the lightbulb rolling around on the floor.

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whats the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

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What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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What do you call kids born in whorehouses? Poor, poor children.

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i hate anti-jokes ;)

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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What are the differences between a black man and a park bench? One's a chair and ones a person.

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An Italian, a Mexican, and an American all stand in one room. The Italian throws pasta out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country." The Mexican throws a taco out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country." The American throws a burger out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country."

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What's yellow and shouldnt be in this country. The asian girl in my economics class

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What did Helen Keller say after the Iron Maiden show? Nothing, she is a mute.

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WHY ARE WOMEN SO HARD TO SLEEP WITH? Because the men are always hard while sleeping with them

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what is the best way to start a car? put in the key and turn it.

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Whats funnier than throwing a baby off the top of a building? The sound it makes when it hits the ground.

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Whats red but smells like blue paint? Red paint

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree Because it died

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Whats pink and looked like an angry bulldog? Your moms vagina last night

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised that they are in the presence of a celebrity.

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a man walks into a bar after a long day at work, and asks for a drink. he finishes, pays the bill and leaves a handsome tip for the bartender and heads home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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