A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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There are no stupid Questions just stupid people

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What do you call a man named Cornelius? Well, he prefers to go by his middle name, Eric, because he was teased as a child for being named Cornelius.

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Q: you wanna hear a joke? A: yeah sure. Q: well im not gnna.

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Why didn't the [any object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. Why didn't the [other object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. [repeat ad infinitum]

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25

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is created to be used by multiple people for sitting down or other forms of rest, and does not have consciousness or the complex body systems of humans and other animals.

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Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack edition. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And then does not even have four quarters to his name.

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Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

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Your momma is so hot your dad married her. She then slept around with other men. Your dad found out and now they're divorced.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Mud.

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Stephen Walking.

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Why do women go to the bathroom together? To clean their filthy pussies.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry Show me your tits

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i am an idiot if you read this outloud your a dumb ass

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How do you trap a squirrel? You carefully set up a trap and place acorns in the trap.

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What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

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How do you make a dick popsickle? ...IDK! I am asking you because you look gay.

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What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

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What has legs but can't walk? A table...or a dog with four broken legs.

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Why doesn't Gary like me? Because I killed his family and fed them to him.

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Knock Kock Who's there? Boo Boo who The ghost from Mario

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't go to you anyways.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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