Why didn't little jimmy get anything for Christmas? He is Jewish.

Your mother is so fat, that somebody should inform her of the risks of eating unhealthy foods because she could obtain life threatening diseases.

There's this Priest, a Rabbi and a Preacher talking about how similar they are.

what has wheels and can fly and is purple? A plane i lied about the color purple

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house! Nock. Nock. Whos there? The Chicken?

What did the Momma Kangaroo say when she couldnt find her baby?

A dinosaur walks into the bar, everyone panics in fear and confusion because it is a dinosaur and it's weird.

Knock Knock Who's There? Jerry Jerry Who? Jerry Sandusky, I've come to rape your kids.

Why is pi? Because circles.

A black man walks into a book store.

Little Jimmy had walked in on his parents. "Mummy what are you doing with dad?" "Baking a cake" She replied. Two hours later the cake had then cooled and was consumed by all.

John Hammond from 'Jurassic Park' looks like KFC's Colonel Sanders. Which is ironic, since chickens are descended from dinosaurs...

Knock knock. Who's there? Obama. Obama who? Barack Obama, President of the United States. I was wondering if I could borrow a cup of sugar. I'm baking cookies for my family, because they really like my cookies.

why did the window washer lose his job. because he fell off and died.

Robert Muldoon: "Clever girl..." Velociraptor: "I appreciate your compliment, but I will still eat your face."

How do you make a baby cry ? Throw a brick at his face

Whats as Heavy as a rock and also as light as a feather? Any object in space because the lack of gravity to give the object weight.

What happened to the soccer player when he got kicked in the leg..... He cried on the ground for hours even though there is padding there

Why did the fox cross the road? To chew on the chicken carcass.

David Copperfield (the magician you moron). "I will now perform my greatest act yet!" Everyone applauded as he put the screaming woman (for effects you know) into the first end of the meatgrinder, and surprisingly grinded meat came out the other side! And the woman? She disappeared... forever! *applause* Moral: BRAVO! BRAVO!

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was blind.

who farted your mother

What do you call a black guy running from the cops? Nothing. He was out for his morning jog and he happened to run by the police.

What did the little orphan girl get for christmas? nothing her parents are dead

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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