What's the deal with airline food? Food tastes different on an airplane. The atmosphere dries out your nose, the air pressure numbs 1/3 of your taste buds, and low humidity levels give you cotton mouth. These factors cause the food to taste worse than it normally would.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock? Who's there? Not Mary.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm an orange.. Person 2: Are you an orange? Person1: No..

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How did poor Miss Suzy get her poor little baby to stop crying? She cut off its head, burned its body, and sacrificed its ashes in a bizarre Satanic ritual that involved having sex with a heifer. (Miss Suzy was a Satanist priestess.)

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus? A godless abomination that violates every ethical standard known to man.

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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Your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it says 300 lbs.

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A bass player walks past a bar.......... "hey, it could happen"...

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

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A bear walks into a bar. The building is evacuated swiftly but several people are killed

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You are the most beautiful person in the world.

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What did the girl with cancer get for her birthday? Hairspray.

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Q: What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: Nothing, he didn't make it that far

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation. John was never the same.

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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LUKE, I am your father... this is your mother, your parents dont love you so we've adopted you

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? He was hit by a bus

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the hea repeatedly

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George: I see you got a haircut. Jim: No, I got them all cut.

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Why can't the little girl ride a bike? She has Osteoporosis and falling would shatter her bones.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The POLICE, now open the god damn door!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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