too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

thumb_up thumb_down -19

When life gives you lemons, you're probably at Mr. Life's fruit stand over on Imperial Avenue.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the boy late for class? He was late because he got stabbed and left in the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what is the difference between a puppy and a baby... ...they are different animals

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A disabled man walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: Why did'n the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

penis hehehehe

thumb_up thumb_down +49

if you are what you eat then arent pornstars considered vaginas?

thumb_up thumb_down +51

I can't think of a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +306

what little black and can make a woman scream a womans dead roting baby

thumb_up thumb_down -107

So this guy walks into the doctor's and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor says "Yes, you've shattered both your kneecaps. You'll never walk again."

thumb_up thumb_down +4,692

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How did the pig solve the Arab-Israeli Conflict? It didn't. It further exacerbated the problem. The Arab-Israeli Conflict is a multifaceted geopolitical quagmire based on long-simmering religious, ethnic and territorial tensions. A pig is too stupid to understand the root causes of the problem, let alone provide a viable solution. In retrospect, it seems ridiculous to have entrusted a pig with such an important diplomatic mission.

thumb_up thumb_down +730

A blonde girl is lying dead on the floor with a potato peeler in her hand, what killed her? Substance abuse and loneliness.

thumb_up thumb_down +746

I have sexdaily. Sorry I mean dyslexia.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the gay man order at Starbucks? Delicious, handcrafted beverages and great-tasting food. The secret to making life better.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Fuck her

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A germaphobe is in a room full of sick people. He leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's a trick question: feminists can't change anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +352

No, we got to speak now, or you know, never.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops