whats brown and stickey? a brown stick

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An arab says allahu akbar, people respect him as he is pronouncing his religion in his place of worship

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Which is Taller ? the Giraffe or the Lion is faster ?

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What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

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Why did the guy have one shoe? Because he took one shoe off at a time

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Why shouldn't I go out today? Well I haven't done any work today. Actually no. It's not that. I'd have to ask my guardian Sally to bring out the wheelchair, and well, I'm afraid of her. She beats me. My hobbies are playing football, watching Loose Women and looking at pictures of Gary Barlow on Google Images.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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roses are red violets are blue i have deep vein thrombosis .... perpendicular albatross

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What did robin say to batman before they got I the car........ Get in the car.

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Boy: "Mom, I don't want to walk in circles anymore." Mother: "Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."

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Whats worse than finding a spider in your shower? Getting repeatedly stabbed in the dick by a rapid chipmunk.

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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What do you get when you cross the motorway with a lottery ticket? You get knocked down and killed.

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An eggo waffle had three friends that he will be inviting to his Superman birthday party. WHich friend will get the first piece of cake? Nobody the party was canceled.

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What do Molly and Sharon have in common? They both annoy me.

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Roses are black, Violets are too. I am colorblind, How about you?

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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How do you know that god was a male? You don't, that's why it's called faith.

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Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

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why did the child kill his mother because the child gave his mom AIDS

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Patient: Doctor Doctor! Every Time I Drink Some Tea, My Eye Is Really Sore! Doctor: Next Time Take The Spoon Out...

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Why did the little girl keep running into things Because she was blind

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What do you call a guy with four heart chambers, two pairs of extremities, and an aortic arch? Anatomically normal.

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What do you call a guy with no hands working in a hat store? larry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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