Do you have a curfew? No its saturday!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: Why are asians good at math? A: Because they study with their tutor every tuesday

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two men drove their car of a cliff. They died.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What can a black man do that a llama can't? A: Walk

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Where did the kittens go on their class filed trip? Nowhere, animals are not permitted to enter a museum unless they are eye seeing dogs helping a person who lacks vision.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats the difference between a battery and a charger

thumb_up thumb_down +10

the WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down -45

why was the old man cold? ...WHY?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

did you know helen keller had a swingset? neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your mom's so fat, she's is bigger than the average person.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A black and a white man enter the bar all the people jump on the black guy to beat him up when the white guy is geting free vodka

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the family sad? Their house burnt down.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

how do you say desk in spanish? escritorio

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is the different between a blonde and a rock? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Yo mamma so black, she uses armor all instead of lotion...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: How do you keep a carnival fish for more than a week? A: Place it in formaldehyde when you get home

thumb_up thumb_down

What did Lady Gaga say to Justin Timberlake? "I love the Backstreet Boys!" Justin Timberlake Replied with a Bazooka.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Vote this down and get DOXED

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops