Q: If 0+0=2 and four shampoo bottles is equal to two toaster strudels, how many pizza slices can Samuel eat? A: Winter because grass=6

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: If it takes a chicken a day and a half to lay an egg and a half, then how long would it take a monkey to kick the seeds off of a dill pickle. A: I don't know. That's a stupid question.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q. What is Black, White, and Red all over?? A. A girl just having sex and her Cherry broke all over your dick..

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your pathetic humanity. Deux. Dios Gud God etc. Moral: You cannot even translate the name of his very being correctly, and you expect the bible to be translated right... Laught now, because I shall silence you soon enough...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did Helen Keller get at the store? Glasses

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Parent: Please, my son have sinned. Please cleanse him from his sins. Priest: Hmmm, it may be hard to cleanse him from his demons. You may leave him in my car today. We shall enter the dark chambers where we will battle your demons Parent: Thankyou Priest: Alone, in the dark. It will be painful for him, but he shall be cleansed *wink* Parent: whut?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

No, I don't have ADH...- Oh look, a butterfly!!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did one ginger say to the other We have red hair

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock knock Who's there? Honey, just let me in. This bloody game can't go on for an hour. I'm cold out here.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Why did the blonde shoot her dog? Because it had rabies

thumb_up thumb_down +208

bar man a walks a into...DYSLEXIA IS NOT FUNNY.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

what do you call a middle eastern man on a plane? a passenger.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the food supply was scarce

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you make a baby cry? You punch him him the gut and slap him multiple times.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do a blonde and a brunette have in common? They were both red-heads until they walked into great clips.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Voldemort's nose is so flat, that it looks like he doesn't have a nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Someone told me once, but i had terrible memory so I had them tell me again.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man bets that his friend can't drink five beers in a row. His friend does it and says "See, I told you I can do it!" The man replies "No, I can't see, I'm blind."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the rabbi say to the bartender? Hi, Mark!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

An asian man and a black man were having a conversation. The asian man sneezed. The black man got SARS and he died shortly after.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Hillary Clinton and 2 male aides were on a plane on a Friday evening which us not unusual for a secretary of state.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Who needs god when coffee is cheaper

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops