What did the train say at the party Thomas isn't really dumb ass

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What did the southern uncle say to his nephew when he woke up? Good morning, son.

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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What is James Miller's real name? James Miller.

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Knock knock Get off my porch.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and asks for directions to the nearest Applebee's.

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Roses are angry Violets are too My head is scratchy I need shampoo

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To clowns walk into a bar. They don't notice each other because as soon as they walk to a 5-yard radius, the length that was said to be the range of a clowns eyesight (which was actually said by a controversial scientist, looked on as a madman; he created a whole clown-eyesight-range conspiracy), when a fire starts, creating a huge apocalyptic event. However, the two clowns go into the bar unphased. Both clowns then turn opposite directions. The clown on the right sits down with his drink and takes out his book about the Victorian Era. He constantly checks his watch. The clown on the left disapears into the croud, and steals french fries from table 36. After three hours, they both walk to the back of the bar, simultaneously tying their shoes not noticing their similarity in career choices. They both open a door marked PRIVATE (while tying their shoes). After sixteen days of exactly the same thing happening repeatedly... Both clowns see eachother on the way out of the bar. Little do the know that they are being watched by the scientist I mentioned earlier. Two Years Later Both clowns die instantly after being attacked by a giant war hammer-wielding octopus on the way home from the circus.

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Why are black people afraid of white people? They aren't

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

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Christopher Reeves walks into a bar.

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knock knock no ones home

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Charlotte Bobcats

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding, he can't walk.

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Why is Michael J. Fox unable to build domino chains? He only has one domino.

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What did the Johhny say to the black man when he saw him buying a watermelon? Nothing, Johnny is mute.

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Your Mom

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What do you call a man who's arms have been amputated? It doesn't matter, he won't be able to pick up the phone.

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Why did the black kid fail his math test? Because he had down syndrome

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Why didn't the Ginger love the pretty girl? Her attitude and personality weren't very similar to his so he presumed the relationship wouldn't work out. Uh...........stingray.

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Q:What does a wheel a triangle and a circle all have in common A:There all round, I lied about the triangle.

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Why was 6 scared of me? cause i ate 9

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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