Knock, knock ... ... ... Well I guess no one is home.

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Why'd the kid stick ice up his nose? To keep his lunch cold.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? she had no arms of legs. Knock Knock Whos there? Not sally.

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Evolution is real. Why? Pikachu evolves.

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Me and my family won courtside tickets to the World Finals basketball game! ...WNBA...

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Q- How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A- You Poke Her Face

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What's big and hairy my penis just kidding It's Bigfoot

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"Do you live in the United States?", said the man. "no." said the other man, "cool beans", said the woman.

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why do fat people eat so much? who cares

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What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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Why did the Triceratops walk into a grocery store? To buy groceries

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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What did one pole say to the other pole? We are both from poland

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Why did the black guy only turn left? Because he was mentally retarded and couldn't tell left from right and had no idea where he was going

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The Irish man was sober.

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A blonde is standing on the edge of a 20-story building. He's had a rather rough life.

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Q: Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? A: Neither did she...

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What is invisible, weighs 332 pounds, runs 67.3 mph, is green, and is made by Jews in China. Nothing, if something is invisible, then it cannot reflect green light, therefore it cannot be green.

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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I saw GESUS and SHE's BLACK

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Why did people have cold showers in the old days? Because there was no electricity back then, making it hard to heat water to a temperature that was classified as 'warm'.

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What's the difference between a vegetable and my son? Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops