What really killed Adolf Hitler? The gas bill

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How did the chicken cross the road? He went to the crosswalk so all the cars had to stop for him.

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A man runs into a bar, he is in a coma for 7 years and most likely going to die, of severe brain damage.

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My friend said that onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him with a watermelon.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? A fly.

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What's the difference between dead babies and the holocaust? A lot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

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So a Jewish, Hispanic, and Asian man are on a plane. The pilot turns to them and says "aren't you tired of this?"

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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i like pie

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u smell oh no of wat?? dunno i just know its BADDDDDDD !!!!!! k.c

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What do you call a woman with one leg? An amputee

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What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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dylan wishes he could come up with funny jokes. but that is impossible for a man trying to bat with a .5inch ****

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" Then the horse left because that question is racist to horses.

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cow: MooooooooMoooooooo trafic light: beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep man:AHHHHHHHHHHH GET THIS FAT THING OF, OF ME NOW cow: MOOOOOOO (you shouldnt of said that or i wouldnt of swallowed you) man:TELL MY WIFE I LOVE HER (L.W)

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I used to be an adventurer like you... then I enlisted for much safer guard service with a more steady salary.

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what is worse then finding a worm in your apple find a worm in your ass

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What did the President give his wife for her birthday? Women's Rights.

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What do you call a black man with no job? Unemployed

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-if you're American in the kitchen, British in the living room, what are you in the bathroom? -in the bathroom.

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? You don't, Pikachu is a fictional character therefore doesn't exist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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