Why don't they sell aspirin in the jungle? Because it is not financially viable to sell pharmaceuticals in a largely unpopulated area.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When life gives you lemons you are like "how did I get these lemons?"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Dat ass, or dem titties? Your choice.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

a man walked into a bar today he suffers from depression from his wife leaving him and taking custody of the children on the grounds that he is an alcoholic and is unfit to raise children

thumb_up thumb_down -1

how many scrubbers does it take to change a lightbulb 2, 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell like urine.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Theres a man with 2 eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the Muslim crying? Because his brother got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Um no horses are overrated.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

what word starts with 'p' and ends in 'orn'? popcorn you sickos

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's the funniest part of a tomato? The skin.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you know if elephants are watching a movie? If a Volkswagen Beetle is parked outside the movie house.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

how do you kill a blonde?? put a scratch n sniff on the bottom of a pool

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's worse than a truck full of dead babies? An alive one at the bottom eating it's way out.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

how come the exorcist eat crème brülé? because that deserves a carlsburg

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down

My Butthole.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a black man on a swing? Depends on what his name is

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's ur favorite color? Cancer Made by mark

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bar. -Can I ask where am I? - he sais -Yes, you can. - sais the barman Awkward silence occurs. -Why aren't you asking? I said you can.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops