There were three hungry cows in a barn. One day, one of them finds a stick of butter on the ground, and notifies the other cows of his findings. Since the barn was ran like a democracy, the cows decided via 2/3 vote that the winner of the stick of butter should be decided by a checkers tournament. The problem is that there is no good way to run a checkers tournament with three cows because checkers is a one-on-one game. The first cow suggests trying to find another cow to join in so that they could have a bracket-style tournament, but there were only three cows that lived in the barn. The second cow suggests a round-robin style tournament. The third cow informs the second cow that there is a possibility of a tie because each cow can finish with one win and one loss among the two games in a round-robin tournament. The first cow suggests that the round-robin process can be repeated until there is a winner. This joint suggestion was approved by 2/3 vote by the cows. Finally the checkers tournament begins. The first cow says to the second cow, "you butter not beat me at checkers!"

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person 1 - what's big, green and ugly? person 2 - don't know. what's big, green and ugly? person 1 - nothing is

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LO AND BEHOLD!

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Where is my tractor?

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Guy1:should I ask this girl out? Guy2:NO!!!!!!! Guy1:????????

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Why did a guy with a lisp, v-neck, and piercings pee while sitting down? His joints hurt.

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What's the difference between Timmy and a car? Timmy can be brutally murdered.

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What was the leg less and armless mans favorite type of music? Nubstep

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Not because she had no arms, but because she just had no hands.

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What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

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Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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Why did the man smile at his wife? Because she had a silly looking face, like a fish.

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Is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting AIDS.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

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What happened when my familys break on the car didn't work? They rolled down a hill and fell off a cliff and died. I loved them.

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What do you call a black man who lands on the moon? An astronaut...f*cking racist.

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What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

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One time i ate a sandwich it was good

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What did the man's ex-wife told him after their divorce? "Build a bridge and get over did" And so he did because hes a contractor that specialized in structures spanning and providing passage over a gap or barrier, such as a river or roadway

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A man walks into a bar, and says ouch.

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Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

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Send creepy emails to this email address: matt.harrington@highlandcatholic.org

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the danced cus they were young, they danced cus they were free, but mostly the danced cus they needed to pee

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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