knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

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Your mom is so fat..., that she died of a heart attack at an early age and everyone mourned her greatl

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:Knock Knock :Who's there? :....... No one was there because they were ding dong ditchers.

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A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him any drink. The bartender gives him the drink and the customer instantly dies. Another person in the bar asked the bartender what dring did you give him. He answered back.....poison

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Why is Dave's baby dead? Because his wife threw it into the path a Big-rig.

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What was wrong with the black guy? He was black

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When Michael Jackson was in a dark tunnel, it didn't work when he turned his flashlight. How come? A: Because it was out of battery

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How do you fit a homosexual man into a small card board box? You cut him into pieces.

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Why was Timmy crying? because his impaled his dog while in a drunken rage

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What's the same between a bike and a duck? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Docter. Docter who? XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

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What did the fat man with scissors do? Cut off the foreskin of your penis.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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A man was walking down the sidewalk. Then he turned into a drugstore.

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat it for being black.

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Why couldn't the blonde write the number eleven? She was paralyzed.

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retard

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Leading a hike.. Kid falls off a cliff and dies. Who cleans him up? Bear.

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3 men- Greg-Allen-And James were on their way back from the bar. When the driver, Greg spun out of control. All of them died Instantly. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told them. " The better you were with Relationships, And loving just one person. The better Transportation you got." He bagan handing things out. " Well, Greg. Looks like you cheated on your most recent Girlfriend... Twice. You get a Bike." Next was Allen " Allen! Shame on you! You have dated 4 women at once! You get a Scooter!" And last was James. " James! You have stayed true to your wife! And all of your other ex- girlfriends. You get a Mustang!" Allen and Greg seen james, Sitting on his car, Upset. "Man! Whats wrong? You have the best thing you could get! I'd be happy!" James looks up and says " Thanks guys, But I just seen my Wife on A skateboard.."

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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if u like this i wont pay you a dollar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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