Why did the baby die? Because he got shot in the head repeatedly.

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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What did the white man hand to the mexican? His college degree because the mexican had completed all four years of college with a 4.0 GPA.

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Why did the boy not turn in his homework? Because his pet ate it.

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Why didn't the ghost go to the dance? He didn't exist.

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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Q:why did the boy fall off the swing A:he had no arms Q:why couldn't he get up A:he had no legs Q:why did he die A:he fell in a puddle

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why did the chicken cross the road? the holocaust

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Why was the cook arrested? Tax evasion.

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What's worse than a stain on your carpet? Two stains on your carpet

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Tom Petty walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, you are visibly intoxicated. We cannot sell you liquor." The bar explodes because someone said no to Tom Petty.

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One night I went to this pub, they had a big jar full of $10 notes in top of the bar. I asked the bar tender what was that jar for and he told me that they have a donkey around back and if you make it laugh you win the jar. So i went around the back and i come back around 5 mins later and the donkey was laughing its head off. So i grabbed the jar and told the boys lets hit the clubs.Two weeks later i went to the same pub and they had another jar with $10 notesso i asked the bar tender what that jar was for and he goes to me "that donkey has been laughing ever since you left, now we want the donkey to cry" So I asked for a go and went around the back and when i come back the donkey was crying. as i went to go grab my jar but the bar tender stops and asks me how i did it. the first time i came i told the donkey i had a bigger dick then him.. the 2nd time i showed him.

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What do you call a pair of banana peels? Trash.

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What do you call a black man and a black woman having sex? A husband and wife who love each other very much and are trying to have a baby.

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What's big, brown, and full of crap? A septic tank.

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Why did the turkey cross the road? His friend, the chicken, had just been hit by a passing car.

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How did the blonde girl get pregnant? Sperm enters their vagina and fertilizes an egg cell causing a child to be conceived.

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Q: What's green, red, and covered in cookie crumbs? A: A dead girl scout.

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Why did Sally Fall Off The Swing? She had no arms Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally

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What did the army guy say when he lost his gun. Wheres my gun.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Ya Mums so fat when she stood on the scales it came up with my phone number

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Man 1- What's red, black, and white all over? Man 2- What? Man 1- Half a penguin! Man 2 became seriously disturbed from this joke, as he saw the movie Happy Feet two days ago. He went to intense therapy and became mentally deranged.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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