So there's this cup that I own... I use it to aid in the drinking of my hot or cold beverages.

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There once was a man from Peru, Whose limericks all stopped on line two.

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What would you call a two-foot Irishman named Max? Max.

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, you racist.

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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What do you call a school bus full of white kids? A school bus.

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Knock Knock. READ THE DAMN SIGN IT SAYS NO SOLICITORS!!! ... yeah.

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the power to turn magnetism into light

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

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What's worse than dropping an ice cream cone? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Dropping two ice cream cones.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

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What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

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Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

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What do you get if you mix a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu? A new breed of dog.

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Why did Billy start crying? Because he was abandoned at a young age- and was bullied since childhood in the orphanage.

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There once was a mathematician, a physicist and an engineer in a room without an exit. The ceiling catches fire. They all die.

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why did the kid stop eating his breakfast...two Penn state officials knocked at the door

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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That was slightly painful. I would appreciate it if you would stop such actions in the future

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A man walked into a bar, therefore beginning a lifetime of alcoholism that would slowly tear his family apart.

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a group of mormons walk into a bar... just kidding mormons aren't aloud to drink.

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Beans, beans good for the heart, the more you eat the more likely you are to grow into a healthy young man/woman with low risk of heart disease.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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