How do you make a white girl commit suicide? Bully her.

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A frog walked into a bar. Except by frog I meant Frenchman, and by bar I meant English pub. The Englishmen in the bar kill the Frenchman in a display of territoriality.

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Roses are red Violets are violet Don't know why people are saying they're blue

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A mexican walks out a mexican restaurant.

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Why did the chicken cross the rode? It was being chased by a fox and did not want to be eaten.

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Linda: See that rainbow? Isn't it beautiful? Bart: I'm color blind.... Linda: Well...this is awkward...

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What's big and grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

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Go away nothing to see here,. I said go away

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How do you say "Hello" in India? 1. Get a plane ticket and fly to India 2. Say Hello in India

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Walnut

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well...here's how it went. It was a rainy Sunday evening. Seven felt like he wasn't cared for and unneeded. Two and Four tried talking to him, but that might have set him off. I just left a deli with my friend Three, and as soon as we leave, I see Seven, with a 45 to his head speeding down the alley. Causing mass commotion, he careens to the right a split second before hitting pedestrians. At the sight of that, I knew he was still in control. I call him on my smartphone and tell him to "Relax, park, and I'll meet you in a minute." I run up the side of the pickup, and lean in on the window. He pulls it down and I tell him that it isn't over, and that we DO care for him. One, Five, and Ten were run over though. Oh, and Seven ate Nine too. He was depressed when he did it.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Thats a matter of opinion

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why did the grandpa drop his big mak??? Because an army tank hit him

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby? I take my cleats off when I jump on the trampoline

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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Why did the man drink water? Because he was thirsty

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roses are red violets are blue , but i would't know that because u never bring me flowers, you bastard .

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How many days did abraham lincoln take a crap for? Turquoise because pancakes cannot fly without wings during the summer unless giraffes smell pineapple on tuesday.

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you go up your hole down your hole between your hole and you rock and roll

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm only 13 so if you have sex with me it's illegal.

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Costello: Who's on first Joe Girardi: Mark Teixeira

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Why was the Black person afraid of the chainsaw? Be cause it goes run nigga nigga run nigga nigga run

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

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How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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