Roses are red, violets are blue, I have alzheimer's, cheese on toast

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

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What is 18 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? Crib death.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A refridgerator What's white heavy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A polar bear

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knock knock who's there? me josh! come in.

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Whats green and looks like eggs? Green eggs.

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HOLY COW!

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What did the Dog say to the Cat? Nothing, Cats and Dogs are of different species and can therefore not understand one another.

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Fucked thinking zero out of sub level -1 I hate Black Mexican Jews Born in China! But that does not make me a racist! I insist I am not a racist, there exists only two of them and they are both assholes... ...Or is that racist? :S NeroMetal: The ONLY Moralman aka the most pointless man in history not the "leader of Neronist whatever fuck I raped and killed that Faqq0t murderer, no fucking "Church Of Nero" There is no code embedded here... ...Or is that racist?:S

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What is worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

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Whats blue and white and red all over? The American flag

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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Me: What as 9595 legs,3500 eyes and 9894 teeth? You: I dont know... Me: Me neither,but its on your leg.

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Three Jews get on a train to Stockholm. How many get off at Stockholm. None. The train went straight to Auschwitz.

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A working black man, Santa, and the Easter Bunny where walking down the street and find a penny, who picks it up? The working black man, Santa and the Easter Bunny take no payment for their work.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme Refrigerator

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She said no

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ron:jim i cant get the toaster to work jim:dude thats a thats my car!

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What do you call a black man helping an old woman cross the road? A concerned citizen.

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What is green and had wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.....

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What do you call someone too young to drink? A minor

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what does it mean when Justin Bieber sounds like a boy someones hit puberty

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jeremie er en ape hvorfor er han det? Who cares!

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Now that I'm of age to go clubbing, I feel sorry for the seals.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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