What is Hellen Keller's favorite movie? Around the block in 80 days.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

what do you call a guy that has a mouth, but cannot speak? a poor freshman who has been commanded by a Senior not to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Jack and jill Went up the hill To go smoke Some marijuana Jack got high Unzipped his fly And asked jill "Do you wanna?" Jill sais "yes" Pulled up her dress And things got real fun But silly jill Forgot the pill And now they have a son

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many prostitutes do I have to kill in order to get an erection? Three.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

I regret everything.....

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why do black people have white palms? Genetics.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A grasshopper walks into into a bar and the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you. But me telling you this is in no way productive because insects cannot understand human language."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Next time someone says "I have mad money"... Say "whys it mad"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q: Why did the black man die poor? A: Because he was financially irresponsible and wasted the millions left to him by his father fueling his alcohol addiction, slowly grinding away at his organs until he died of cirrhosis of the liver.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Shah I'm being chased by a man riding instead a pig in a caravan smoking Apparently I'm a man riding on a pig in a caravan smoking

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's orange and is a loyalist in the orange order? Caoimhin McCann?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many Azheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's Green and has four wheels? A green car

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's green and can read your mind? Nothing. Some people thinks the answer is a plant but don't listen to them because they are wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man in a car turned left at the end of his road. Then he proceeded .1 miles and turned left again, as his GPS instructed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Hey how is your wife and my kids

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Yo' mama so stupid, she has a lower IQ than the average person.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

ew. I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on earth! ...that's what she said!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Did you hear about the alter boy that wasn't molested by a priest?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops