a doctor came into the room after receiving a woman's test results for lung cancer. the woman says, "is it negative or positive doctor?" the doctor looks at the woman and says, "it's negative, congratulations."

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Why was the multi-millionaire entreprenuer sad? He went bankrupt.

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Knock Knock It's the police, im afraid your wife has been killed in a horrible car accident.

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Two parrots were sitting next to each other. One parrot said "hey" The other parrot replied "hey" therefore making the first parrot say "hey" which made the other parrot say "hey" again making the... this conversation, comprised of just one word lasted a very long time. aproximately 16749 hours.

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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Anti-Joke Memes? That Shouldn't Be A Thing

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What would George Washington do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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What is the best way to deal with a broken ankle? Ear Lobes.

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What do you call a black person living in the US? An African American.

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What did the autistic child say to the doctor? Nothing. His condition is so severe that he is mute and may never talk for the rest of his life.

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Dear John,

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A scottish man having fun

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Two dogs are sitting by a fire hydrant. One turns to the other and says absolutely nothing because dogs can't speak.

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How did the man get arested? For doing something leagle.

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the world is made out of 4 things. protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons

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three men walk into a bar. they are immediately rushed to urgent care due to blunt force trauma

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Commie. Commie who? Commie Johnson. We went to high school together.

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I'm on a seafood diet. It consists of prawns and tuna.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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What do you call a Mexican mixed with a platypus? a pineapple

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no? sense Microwave

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Knock, knock. Who's there? No one. You have no friends.

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

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Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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