Q: What is the difference between a moose and a cow? A: How they're spelled.

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If thin people skinny dip, what do fat people do? Sink

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Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama find a magical lamp. The Genie says, "I will give each of you one wish, and one wish only.." They all wished to be presidents.

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Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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your going to die

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A three legged dog walks into the bar and says, " I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw." The bartender replies, "Your father was an honorable man, and I wish I could help."

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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How Many Blind People Does It Take To Solve A Rubiks Cube? None Their Blind

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Yo mama so fat, when she went to a party, they took the apple from the roast pig's mouth, and they put it on her mouth.

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Why is it bees travel in formation, one side is longer than the other? ... There are more bees on one side

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What do you call a half man half manatee? A manatee

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Today I had sex with a married man, but thats OK he's my husband

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Hey I just met you I'm on bathsalts your face looks tasty

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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Why can't Sally ride her bike? Because Sally is eight months old and doesn't even understand what a bike is.

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How do you make a salesperson cry? Shoot him in the face and throw him off a cliff

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Viciously beating your children with other recently beaten children.

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what's black? a lot of things.

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Steve Jobs didn't die. He went to go set up iCLOUD.

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What did the paraplegic boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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why was the little girl crying? because she was molested

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why do elephants have such flat feet.....? from all those damn trees they have been juming out of....

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wow such mark very mark many mark so mark

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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