How many squirrels does it take to change a lightbulb? 42.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Roses are red violets are blue I want to F%$# you with a rake

thumb_up thumb_down -19

GO CHARLIE TO CANDY MOUNTAIN. Charlie is a unicorn and unicorns are not real they are mythological creatures. They do not breath becuase they where never alive unless you do drugs(mr craig) that is the only way to see them. And drugs leed to lose of money, loss of money = broke.Broke = no home. No home= death. So who believes in unicorns??

thumb_up thumb_down -17

knock knock whos there I AM YOUR MOTHER!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

If you're havin' girl problems I feel bad for you son, your mother and I once had those problems but we got through it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the blind man say when you asked hi his favorite color? Nothing he is death too

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Find the b dddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

thumb_up thumb_down -28

8

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Faithful men.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how do you make a blonde laugh on friday tell her shes a blonde on monday

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

thumb_up thumb_down -13

If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q. Where do all funny jokes come from? A. The people who made them up

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Gays

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what happened when the chicken crossed the road? it got ran over by a car recently after it go killed it was eaten by a hobo and the hobo died from ring worm

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's purple and fuzzy? A piece of purple fuzz.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Johnny Depp is Alexander Graham the whole time.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock Knock Who's there? Police officer Police officer who? Police officer your whole family died in a car wreck last night.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

the more I study the more I know, the more I know the more I forget, the more I forget the less I know, why study?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

"Oi Tom" "What Tom?" "What did Tom say to Tom?" He was talking to himself Such a bad anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Phew, I was like thinking all like "I am really into this guy, we can like chat like this and stuff too right?"

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops