Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the 15 year old commit suicide? Because his parents and 3 sisters died in a car accident and he went to live with his uncle, who constantly raped him.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you stop a baby from crying? Throw it off the top of the Empire State Building.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A pig and an elephant walk into a bar. But the pig doesn't even make it into the bar because the mentaly insane elephant ate him. Ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +26

SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did Rose throw the clock out the window? Because she's a moron.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I threw a refrigerator at it

thumb_up thumb_down +41

why'd my house get destroyed I was afraid the tornado that hit mass was going to destroy it so I blew it up

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A penis takes a trip to spain, he falls in love with an apple and proceeds to commit suicide

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Bushes are Red, Trees are Red... my garden is on fire...

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the Mexican say when a house fell on him? Nothing. He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a moose with a 42 gauge shotgun pellet through its head? Open Season

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Is there any non dirty numbers these days, 69, just kidding

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a tree? Nailing1 baby to 10 trees

thumb_up thumb_down +28

what can you give to a millionaire to make him happy? sex

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what did the blind deaf mute boy get for christmas? some nice presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

TIMMAH!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did William go home. His mother called and they were having a potroast

thumb_up thumb_down -7

You know it's sunny outside when you go outside and its sunny

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Did you here about the 2 guys who wanted to go to Paris? They didnt go!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock knock. Come in. Okay.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

"knock knock" "ill get it honey" "no stay in the kitchen bitch!"

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops