a horse is a horse. of course of course....unless its a cow

thumb_up thumb_down -20

who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are red. Violets are blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

mark is mark

thumb_up thumb_down -8

a man and a woman walk into a alley. They get mugged the man fights back out of pride and then gets stabbed the woman escapes and then goes to the police the man is then found two days later. *gasp* what a weird dream.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Jesus walks on water, Humans are 70% water, I can walk on humans, Therefore i am 70% Jesus.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did then plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's red and eats tulips? Your face!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

knock knock get lost!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what goes woof ? A dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +140

Why was the man tired at his soccer game? Because he did not sleep well the night before

thumb_up thumb_down +83

What's worse than pushing a baby off a cliff?........ Standing at the bottom with a pitchfork....!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Can you see this brett? Connor

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

h

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A skeleton goes to a bar an orders a human flesh.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you get when you combine a potato and an apple? A nice Apple Potato Souffle...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops