Q: What's long and brown? A: The unemployment line.

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Why was Eight in court? He was involved in Nine's horrifying disappearance.

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What do you call a boy with one arm one leg and an eye patch? Names

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't because it had died from an uncaring mother and father that dumped it's corps on the side of the highway.

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Have you heard the deaf guitarist? He's really good.

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what was the first thing Barack Obama said to the people of america? ... hi

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Why was the teacher laying on the floor? Because shes dead...

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Why did the Black man buy some slaves? They were his family

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Bob: "Knock knock." Gerald: "who's there?" Bob: "your worst nightmare." Gerald: "your worst nightmare who?" Bob kicks open the door, kills Gerald, ties up his wife, sells his kids to slavery, and burns his house down.

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

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1,000 people get out of a plane , who hits the ground first? The DEAD guy!!!!

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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How do you get a black man to use a condom? You explain to him all the benefits of safe sex.

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Q: What do you call a blonde that just bought a new car? A: Carol

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Whats worse than your roof caving in on you? Being stabbed by yard gnomes.

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make me a sandwich!

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100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Too bad I don't have one.

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What is big, green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree and hit you in the head, it will probably kill you? A pool table.

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Who enjoys hearty wank sessions with friends and long walks on the beach? David Cameron.

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What olympic event is Kosovo best known for getting gold? Kosovo is the world's newest country and therefore does not yet have complete international recognition.

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How many days did abraham lincoln take a crap for? Turquoise because pancakes cannot fly without wings during the summer unless giraffes smell pineapple on tuesday.

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What's worse than the holocaust? The Russian Revolution

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops