Why didn't the cheese buy a house plant? Cheese is nonliving and therefore cannot earn money, thus preventing cheese from buying houseplants.

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What's worse; twelve babies in one trash can or one baby in twelve trash cans?

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What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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Why did the cat lick the black guy. Because the cat thought it was dirty.

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Wait! hundred billions!

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Why did Jack like oranges? - Penis

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Why didnt Jimmy go to school on Thursday? Jimmy is a vegetarian!

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Why did the man talk to the potato? Because hes stupid.

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I was flying in the sky but lost control and crashed. I woke up on the floor.

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What's more horrible than Twilight? Hitler.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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what's worse than me fucking your mom she enjoyed it

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A christian, a Muslim, and a Jew walked into a bar... Then the Muslim shoots the Jew and blows himself up.

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whats the difference between valium and m & ms ? one is,nt a tasty little chocolate

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Mom I am so sorry I molested you yesterday. Im not your mom! Phew, wanna go out?

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Today if my birthday, and I got given the Anti Joke Book! Happiness!

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Why didn't cancer cross the road? Because it was to busy taking my family.

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why cant little timmy ski? he was born without legs.

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

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Why did Harriet Tubman have to take the underground railroad? Because she was a fugly slut.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to call animal control.

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rocky is staring at us from outside...

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My Bologna has a first name, it's Tim.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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