Why couldn't little Sally talk? Someone stapled her tongue to wall.

Why did the man cross the street? He just wanted to .. i don't see why not, i mean he could have gotten ran over by a train on a road but who knows he could have been run over by a turtle!

Q: You and a thousand other people are suddenly bursting in flames at a park, there is a big barrel of water just a few steps away from you, what do you do in order to save the people that truly matter? A: Stop drop and roll, duh!

What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? " I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

A nigger looked up his family tree and a gorrila shit in his face

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was disturbed by two black men raping a young girl with leukemia.

they sent me too your moms house and 9 months later you are here

Q: Why was Sally sad? A: Because she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock, Who's there? Not Sally.

wife: why are women's feet smaller husband: so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink

What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says why the long face? The horse does not reply because it is a horse. He then is confused of where he is and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a couple stools.

Your mum is so fat, she has a larger bmi than someone with a healthy bmi

What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

Haha, I get it..

Why'd the man go to jail? Because he had a piece of cheese.

Advertiser: Charlies Tax---------- Advertiser: OMG, who are you... Pedobear: Hello kids, come in my taxi(Van) :D

why did your mum die young because she had canser

There was a man on a park bench and he saw a duck fly by so he decided to go and see what it was up to. He saw that it was just going for a swim in a near by pond. He died 2 years ago of auto erotic asphyxiation because of a common fetish.

LA Police, Christine Collins called. She wants her son back.

What's the difference between a melon and a baby? You have to cut open the melon before you can eat it

As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

Whats worse then nailing ten babies to a tree? Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

What do call a limbless man swimming? Dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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