Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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What did the man with the knife say to the ostrich? Run or I'll stab you!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your carmel apple, which costs about 35 cents more on average.

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What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson? A collision, if Michael Jackson were alive.

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How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

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today a nazi canadian killed himself the world is now a better place

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hi

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why did the Mexican fall and not the black man. i don't know, go ask the Asian.

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I asked the librarian where to find a specific book. She told me where it was.

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What did the ant say to the bush? Ernest Borgnine.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Billy Sup Billy, come on in!

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Why did the man fall of the cliff? A: Because someone pushed him.

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what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

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chuck norris multiplied by zero equals zero.

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Why didnt the deer move out of the street when the guy yelled at it? Because deer are a very sensitive species you should try asking politely next time.

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What do you get when you add two boys and two girls in a basement? Four people fearing their lives during a tornado.

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One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

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What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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YOU WONT GIVE THIS A THUMBS UP!!!! YOU WONT DO ITTTT

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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What did the lady with Alzheimer's do yesterday She can't remember

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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