What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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a chinese wompus came out of the basement.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple except for the elephant.

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When life gives you lemons, throw them away. Nobody likes lemons.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? rape

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Q: What do you call a pig with wings? A: Pigs don't have wings.

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Rubies are red Some diamonds are blue I have candy so get in my car

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What's worse than ten dead babies? Not much.

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ask me if i'm a tree are you a tree? No.

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Sarah got hit by a bus.... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

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What's funnier than 68 69

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Why do black people log onto blackpeoplemeet.com? To meet black people.

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Do you want to hear a joke, Women's rights

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Saying "MY MOM" everyone time ur asked a question

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what do u call a 50 yr old man at disneyland a rapist

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The red guy lives in the red house, the green guy lives in the green house, and the blue guy lives in the blue house. Who lives in the white house? The purple guy, he just hasn't painted his house yet.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

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dad said he had to drop the kids off at the pool what does that mean mom? honey it means dad has to take a shit beacuase shit looks like retarded black kids with down sydrome

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So a man and a woman are siting at the same park table Woman: sir are you touching my leg erotically Man: No mam for you see I am a parapaligec

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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why did the little old lady die? she was mugged then shot in the head 5 times.

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How many polish people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -One

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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