A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first? Give us the bad news first, the parents reply. Your baby has red hair, says the doctor. Well whats the good news, ask the parents. It’s dead.

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hey! Wanna hear a bird joke? No. Well this is Hawkward....

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What did the black man do when he saw a bike sitting on the sidewalk? He took it into the shop paid for it and rode off feeling good about how hes helping the environment.

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Why was the cat in the bag? Because it's owner was abusive and put it in there.

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what do you call a guy with a huge dick ? hugedickasorus

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Why did the corpse come to life? Because number 5 is alive!

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Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

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What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

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What did little Timmy get his grandmother for Christmas? A coffin

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what did the black man eat for dinner? whatever his wife makes for him to eat

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An alligator walks into a bar. The bar tender calls animal control and calmly escorts everyone out the back door.

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So Mel Gibson walks into a bar, and then everyone left.

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when you smile the whole world stops and stares for a while because you have one tooth and its half chipped.. and your a black mexican red head.

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One day I walked into my backyard I saw a squirrel Then I was like oh hey squirrel

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Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

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Bob: Hey, hey Jim Jim: Yeah? Bob: Remember me. Jim: ...okay?? Bob: Knock knock Jim: Who's there? Bob: I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA FRICKIN REMEMBER ME!!!

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Two little boys are talking to each other: - My dad's dick is soo biig! - Eh, my dad's dick is small but it still hurts...

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Why did Michael Jackson become white? Because he likes to molest children.

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Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

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Q: why was the gay guy sad A: Becasue he was stright.

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How many babies does it take to fill a ditch? Six if you pack them in really tight.

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jordan HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH

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Whats black and yellow and is funny when its falling off a cliff? A bus full of niggers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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