Why did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers? Peppers help strengthen his immune system.

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A dyslexic Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. He hits his head on it and is rushed to the hospital,only to discover the floor drenched in triceratops shit.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? 17

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What do you call a room full of jewish women with yeast infections? The waiting room of a gynecologists office, potentially in some sort of Jewish district

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what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

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What's harder than a rock? The dead baby in my freezer.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Want to hear a funny joke? Not really.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? He graduated at the top of his class with a master's degree in engineering.

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Guess my favourite fruit. Peach.

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What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

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What do Ed Milliband and David Milliband have in common? They are brothers.

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How can you tell if a joke is skept? Tell it to raysean and see if he laughs

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Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

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What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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PEN15 IF U R SMART U WILL UNDERSTAND THIS

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What is white but you can't see it? A bottle of milk around the corner.

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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What's green and has four wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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what's mouthwatering and smells like fish? salmon

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- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops