Q: How many Jew does it take to change a light bulb? A: A lightbulb cannot be changed, it either is or isn't. Do you mean replace a burned-out bulb with a new one? With design, logistics, manufacturing, marketing of just that single bulb- there are many people involved. It could be argued that we all play some small part in the process.

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How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your neighbor My neighbor who? I already told you, it's pronounced "Wu". I'm very sorry, Mr. Wu

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Thanks, I admire your sincerity, and I am happy to see that I got a lot more in common with you, than with well, my nerdy and geeky friends, which are not reading this here and now unless they are going against their orders and messing up their own work schedule. I just want you to know that I have fallen in love with you Nero, and if that is a problem for you, please let me know ASAP.

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

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that krista chich from the below joke accepted me as a friend, then she blocked me. haha WOW, she realy is a bitch.

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Knock knock, Who's there? The constable. Your husband was killed in a car crash.

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What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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What do a turtle and a bowling ball have in common? Nothing

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Why did Sally fall off the swing-set? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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A: Knock Knock! B: No ones home.

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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Tell me who you are, who you are working for, I wont tell anybody, and I will have someone to hack this site on the hour and remove these comments, please.

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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The Morman Religion.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I can't rhyme Refrigerator

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding 2 worms in your apple

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There was once a guy who was so crazy...he was sectioned.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, oceans don't have hands to wave either

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Two muffins are in an oven. And by muffins I mean jews. They both die a horrible death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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