How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

thumb_up thumb_down +23

4023145287

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How can you tell I'm the biggest idiot in the room? Look at me.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead why did the dog fall out of the tree? because it was attached to the monkey

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

- Women have rights, aren't they? - Yes, they have.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A Catholic, a Protestant, and a Jew are stranded in the middle of the ocean on a raft. They all die of dysentery.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

So there are 2 ninjas in a dojo, The first ninja turns to the second ninja, and says something in Japanese

thumb_up thumb_down +103

What's the difference between dead babies and punching bag? No one makes jokes about punching bags.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Guys are like a sax. If no sound comes out, you're probably not blowing hard enough.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Black people are like jelly beans. Nobody likes the black one's.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did it say on the banner for an international dyslexics support group? Dyslexics of the world unite.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What made the old man laugh? A pile of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man walks into a clothing store, he calls his wife, buys a shirt, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What human can fly without holding any thing (exept cloths i dont like inapropeate jokes i dont know it a very intresting quesiton

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Cleavlin has a shmaaala dik

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Your mother is so fat, she spends all day in her bedroom, eating chocolate and crying herself to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What happened when Tim's house caught on fire? The fire department was contacted and they put the fire out.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops