Why did the mokey board the westbound train? I said gray umbrella noodle head!

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Q: what's red, green and goes over 100 miles per hour? A: a frog in a blender

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A tree falls over on an old woman. Mysteriously, the woman lifts the tree up and walks away. A man is amazed by this, so he goes and asks the woman how she managed to lift the whole tree. She tells the man that he is an idiot an walks away. Later inspecting the tree, he realizes it is a small sapling weighing no less than 10 pounds

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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whats worse than dieing in an airplane? jumping out of the airplane to save yourself and emediatly getting shredded by the massive engine you did not have the wits to see.

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Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made the man who said shut up mad so he told the man to shut up.

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knock, knock who's their? police get down on the ground!

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What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies. I'd rather had the porsche in my garage

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yo momma is so stupid she went and got her self checked for mental retardedness and it turns out she happens to be autistic.

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i read the terms of service when i posted this

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a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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Man 1: is that boy high? Man 2: No. He has down syndrome

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what do you call a man with no legs? An ambulance as he seem to be bleeding very heavily.

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I used to think skyrim jokes were funny. Then I took an arrow to the knee.

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because it would be hazardous to other motorists well-being.

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Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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What did the man say to his dead wife? "I'm Blind."

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Why did the football player walk so funny? He went to Penn State!

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Your mom was so fat, She was overweight.

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What's better than a worm in your apple? No worms in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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