Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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roses are red violets are blue i have alzheimers roses are red

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Perverted man: Nice bum where u from Hot ladie with the nice bum: Boston Mass so kiss my ASS

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

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what do you call a black man falling off a cliff holy shit

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How can a hobo become rich? It can't. It died from food poisoning from eating food out of the trash.

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whats purple and has legs? Nothing, i lied about both

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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A man walks into a bar. A few hours later he walks out.

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You: That was awful. Me: You know what else is awful? You: What? Me: This joke.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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A man walks into a bar, has a few drinks and spots a nice looking lady He then follows her home and molestes her child.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Imaj. Imaj who? Haha, you're a Jew.

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What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

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your moms tits are so big she may have breast cancer she may have breast cancer which takes approximitely 300,000 lives per year

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Your momma's so dumb, she has below average IQ.

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Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

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How do you learn how to drive? You get in the driver seat

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How do you know you're on a blind date with a black person? If they agree to eat at KFC in Compton (Wyndellberg)

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roses are red violets are blue im in class

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jhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!

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how do you burn a lot of calories? set a fat kid on fire

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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