why was osama bin laden shot and killed? because he was a very violent man and deserved his punishment

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Two Cows are knitting soda water in a lightbulb. One of them said: Talking about milk, what time is it? The other pulls out a thermometer, looked at it and said: Wednesday.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The anti-Joke isn't a freaking joke. So stop freaking doing it!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the black man commit suicide last tuesday? he was just fired from his job, his sister passed away, and he became depressed

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the boy drop the ice cream? So that it would melt and he could dip his dick into it and his mom could lick it off.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

If I was in a room with Osama bin laden and george bush, and my friend. And I had a gun with two bullets, I'd shoot my friend twice.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

knock, knock who's there? boo boo who? sorry i dont know anyone named boohoo so get the hell off my lawn

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do the Chinese call ping pong? Ping pong.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the man get ran over by th STREET? Because he crossed the TURTLE!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? WHO CARES!!

thumb_up thumb_down -56

One muffin says to the other muffin "it sure is hot in here." the other muffin replies "you know, technically, we're not muffins because we're not done cooking yet."

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented. But neither one of them knew.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican guy walk into a bar. They are good interracial friends that like to put down some brewski's with eachother

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the baby stop crying? Mommy shook him.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is the definition of child abuse? Ms Bazan

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Who did the dinosuar, that's pretty fricken awesome!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what's worse than waiting 45 minutes in an amusement park ride? getting your penis chopped off.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was unaware that it could get run over by a motor vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the girl say when she arrived at the party? "I like what you did with the furniture!"

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops