Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is black at the bottom, and white at the top? Society.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between a duck? An armchair because the vest has no sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I have three heads and nine eyes, what am I? I'm a liar.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

You know what I hate long anti-jokes that take up too much space.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a deaf black man? Well, if you did not already know his name, you would first have to contact a member of his family, or a friend, and ask them, as even if you were able to communicate the question of 'what is your name?' to the man, it is well known that the speech of deaf people is nowhere near as clear as that of people who are able to hear.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A Muslim man walks away from a populated area leaving his briefcase behind. After a few minutes he returns because he forgot his briefcase.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

German sausage is the wurst

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: How many dead people does it take to change a light bulb? A: Trick question...i have sex with them in the dark

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why is siracha taste so good on chicken? Because it compliments the meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: Why are the Black Eyed Peas named the Black Eyed Peas? A: I don't know ask them yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why is Jem no longer a cartoon? Because they all died from toxic hairspray.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: What's wrong with the world today? A: Everything

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Woman : Child,what time is it? Child : I'm not a kid, I Broccoli.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a retard lost...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why does it take more than one blond to replace a light bulb? Because one had no arms, thus requiring the help of another person. It just so happened that that other person was a blond.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the Mexican go to Taco Bell? Because he thought it was a real restaurant.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's funnier than shooting a moose? The realization that the moose was Sarah Jessica Parker...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats brown? poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops