what do you call a mentally and physically obese man? nothing until you know or obtain his name

thumb_up thumb_down

i want to eat a horse out jaffa cake

thumb_up thumb_down +26

I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, Your blood is too, Don't believe me? I WILL CUT YOU

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yea, let's go bury it!"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A lion and a cheetah raced each other and the cheetah won Lion: "man you're a cheetah!" Cheetah: "no you're lion!" Then the cheetah tears off the lions head and feeds it to their babies

thumb_up thumb_down -5

are you from hawaii? because your the only ten I see

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what is bad about being a black jew? you have to sit in the back of the oven

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +21

If you are riding a horse, how many watermelons does it take to kill a giraffe? Platypus.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Due the limited cognitive ability and a lack of critical thinking skills, the chicken mistakenly ventured across the road in search of grain. Luckily the chicken was not injured on this occasion, however other chickens may not be so lucky in the future.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why is this the best day of 10 year old Johnny's life? His parents were killed in 9/11, and Osama Bin Laden has been found and killed. What, Too soon?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man penetrates another man.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

- kellen says to bill "your a fruit cake" - bill say to raj "your a gypsy" - raj says to kellen "you have gingevitis" R.I.P kellen 2012

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A muslim walks into a bomb store. He is a police officer and quickly arrests the owners of the store because of the obvious legal violations.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

THEY SAY SEEING IS BELIEVING. I NEVER SAW 9/11! 9/11? NEVER HAPPENED -Jonathan

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did Chuck Norris say to the man that asked for his autograph? He happily obliged and continued on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Boy: If you didn't have feet, would you wear socks? Girl: No. Boy: Then why do you wear a bra?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

A: Ask me if I'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the holocaust not die because black people are scared of fuck

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Roses are gray Violets are gray Pansies are gray Daffodils are gray I am a dog :)

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A black man picks up his phone and calls his wife and finds out he had no wife

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock Who's There Your doctor... You have Aids

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops