A Pakistani news reader.

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What do you get when you mix C4 with a lit- KABOOM!!!

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look im not better than you, your a ten im a two your a queen im a fool you got looks i got scares u got talent i got beuty to its a win win

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what has four legs but cant move? dead dog

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Bison: I just dont feel like having bread for breakfast again Sagat: You want some... Cornflakes? Bison: Ohohoh Ahahaha! Sagat: You like it? Bison: THIS IS DELICIOUS! Balrog: :( What about those tapes I made for you? You want me to...:( Bison: Balrog, shut up.

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Whats worse then Justin Bieber? It's a trick question, there's is nothing worse than her

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IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

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What does the color 9 smell like? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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why was the fat man excercizing? because he was a fatass and no one liked him

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What do you call an elephant and a rhino mixed? Ahellifiknow.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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knock knock who's there who who who who who what are you a retarded owl

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A man walks into a vagina. The man, expecting a holiday inn, is very confused, and later gets mauled by five bears, who mistook his scent for a fish.

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wanna hear a joke? womans rights

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What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

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What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

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Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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What is the worst place to be in race if you're racing with me Behind me

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A robot walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "can I get you a drink?" The robot replies, "No, I'm a robot."

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There was a asian jew and a black man standing at a bus stop wht do you call the Freinds

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teacher: what do you call a math book with no writing in it?! student: idk what? teacher: a notebook! student: ok... thanks

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Whats big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? A Fridge.

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why was the girl eating a pie , because she were hungry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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