Other Guy: What are you looking at? Me: You.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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Why did i drink 4 sodas? Because i was thirsty

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monster under your bed? thank god im in your closet...........

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van.

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Dad's writes on son's Facebook wall: "Dear Son, How are you? All are fine here. We miss you a lot. Please!! TURN OFF THE COMPUTER & COME DOWN FOR DINNER!!! by darragh hamilton

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What is the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa is a fictional character used to represent Christmas, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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Where's my shotgun

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What's black and white and red all over. Half a zebra

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obama leadership

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Q: what's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

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Q: What's big, brown, and smell like crap? A: Turd.

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Q: what did Don Draper do after he saw an attractive woman at the ABC store? A: went home and thought about her while drinking his scotch.

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You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me!

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your mother is so fat that she got brain damaged from cardiac arrest and now needs medical care for the rest of her life.

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A man walks into a bar.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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Whats green, furry and it stole christmas? A Robber with a Christmas tree on his back

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What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

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What did the retard say to the other retard.. hey timmy how was work?

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I Used to be an Adventurer like you, Then I retired to achieve the top Anti-Joke.

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what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You know you really should have a safer way of finding out who is really on the other side. Now a days it's just not safe to ask, "who's there". I mean it could have been, Milkman, Plummer, or worst a Land Shark!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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