Knock knock ... Guess they aren't home.

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What do you have Canasta!!! Were not playing canasta you stupid asshole

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Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun that fell down a flight of stairs

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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How many dead babies will fit in a bathtub? Seventeen

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What do you call a man who interru- SHUT UP!

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What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

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Did you hear about the Polish submarine? It was one of five in the Polish Navy.

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a

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? Throw a jar of foreskin at it.

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what do you call a black man in a car? -a person who passed his drivers test

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked

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Anti deep thoughts, by Fabian Monge'. The other day while parked at a stop light i was looking in the rear view mirror at the person who was blowing his horn at me. I then realized that while i was looking back at him the light had been green for a while. I then thought that i had better drive forward because i was holding up traffic, and that it was very selfish of me to waste other peoples time like that while wondering what was going on behind me instead of what was happening in front of me. In the time it took for me to come to this conclusion, i had wasted another few seconds of someones time. How very selfish of me.....

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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What is it called when your friend tells you that Justin Beiber was laid? Lying.

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Why couldn't people tell the difference between the two twins? Because they were indentical.

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A working black man, Santa, and the Easter Bunny where walking down the street and find a penny, who picks it up? The working black man, Santa and the Easter Bunny take no payment for their work.

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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What's the best part of having a doctor for a best friend? The sex.

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Whats better than having 5 dollars? Having 5 dollars and a pizza

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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