I'm a wise old man, so I'm aloud to touch you in the bathing suit area.

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Beating cancer. Guess Steve Jobs they didn't make an app for that.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was playing Pokemon Go.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't going to come.

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Why didn't the family finish their picnic? Because a dog was sick all over the food.

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how many licks does it take to get too the tootsie center of a tootsie pop. Well it depends on how you eat it, there is always the option of biting it, so there is no defined answer, as well as ones lick might absorb more of the lollipop then another mans.

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why was little johnny laughing all day cactus

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What does an Asian do in a library in his school? Write one of these.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

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What's blck and blue and doesn't like sex? The ten year old in my car.

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A man goes to the doctor suspecting he might have erectile dysfunction. The doctor raises an eyebrow and asks, "Does it come up a lot?" "No."

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you set her alarm for the intended time

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Roses are red Violets are blue

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What's worse than a bee sting? A katon.

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despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

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What do you cal a black boy with a bike? A thief

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Whats green and smells like bacon................. Green bacon

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My captcha thing says "hulk smash" lol bahahahahahahaha, k

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What did the homosexual farmer say when he answered the phone? Hello

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I like my girls like my wisky. Strong, tastes and the leading cause of liver damage.

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I was bangin this girl and she kept yelling the wrong name. Who's raape?

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A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

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How do you stop a black person from drowning? You toss him a flotation device.

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a white man, an asian man, and a mexican man are on a plane and they realize how inefficient the airline was in filling the flight, seeing as there were only three men on board.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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