Yo' Mama's so old that her age is over the average age of most people.

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Dogs

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Chuck Norris once punched a horse in the chin. Nearby people were disgusted at this act and immediately reported him for animal abuse. Today he is in prison

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Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. The female body inspectors? No, the female bawdy inspectors.

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a man walks into a bar, and says "can i get a beer please?" the bartender hands him his beer, and as soon as the man starts to take a drink, the man dies of a massive heart attack because of his unhealthy lifestyle

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What do you call a black guy with a peg leg? An amputee.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "why that long face?" The horse, being a horse, thus not being able to comprehend the complexities of a conversation, says nothing and then shits on the floor.

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What;s worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date.

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Knock, Knock Who's There A dyslexic kid with aides

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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Whats bright red and claws at the window? Baby in a microwave.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had Gonorrhea.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

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How did the black kid drop out of highschool? He got bad grades.

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What happens if you are in the north pole at a temperature of -2 Cº and you throw a rock to the air in straight line? The green rockeater will eat it

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Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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Q: How do you fit two beluga whales into a mini van? A: You don't.

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A black man boards a plane. He enjoys the rest of the flight in first class.

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why did little Hannah not like the poem "Roses are Red" because she was colorblind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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