What do you do when someone tries to rob you at gunpoint Well first thing you have to do is think why am I in this situation? Then what can I do to avoid this again Finally think about how you're going to pay your medical bill. You were to busy thinking, to notice you just got shot and robbed.

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What did the flower say to it's friends? I want to kill a Christmas tree.

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There once were two muffins in an oven, and one definitely did not start talking to the other

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What do you call a mexican sleeping in a car tired.

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The Earth is a nice place to live.

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Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

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Man: Did It Hurt Woman: Did what hurt? Man: When your legs were crushed after being run over by that semi

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Why did Superman not stop the planes on 9/11? He was quadroplegic.

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wetly sucks dick just like teh boowb

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Want to hear a joke? Me neither.

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wnna here a joke, toby limbers playing basketball

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What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

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Why did the boy lose his watch? Who cares? It was a shitty-ass watch.

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where was the heart of ocean found. madelain mcanns urn

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whats blue and can be seen in the sky? the sky.

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I used to tell people: step on my foot on purpose and ill FUCKlNG BREAK YOURS! Then I Evolved.. friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Thumb me down or step on my foot if only on mistake, and I will break off both your legs and ram them up your ASS!

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What did the black man say to the Hispanic? Lovely weather we're having.

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Women's rights.

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What do you call a black guy, a white guy, a mexican guy, and a chinese guy jumping out of a plane? Skydivers.

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Your mother is overweight. This is largely due to her sedentary lifestyle.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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WHY DID THE WHITE MAN TALK TO THE BLACK MAN TO LIGHTEN HIM UP

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What's a black man's favorite fruit? Clementines.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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