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thumb_up thumb_down -29

My left foot has 6 toes, my right face has 8 Q-tips -Matt

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted a car to kill him so he can get to the other side with his wife and son. In other news,I had a very nice chicken cutlet and scrambled egg dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the plane crash. its pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down

What noise annoys a noisy oyster? Hispanics with their loud car stereos.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Is your Alzheimers getting better? I have alzeimers?...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is white on the top and black on the bottom? Society

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A man walks into a bar. Because he's had a rough day, he asks the barender for a drink. Then another... Then another... (continued) The man walks out of the bar and goes to his car. He starts to drive back to his house. He wobbly makes turns and closes his eyes every 5 seconds or so. He also talks to his boss on his phone for the majority of the ride. Surprisingly enough, he makes it home safely and doesn't harm anyone else despite the large amount he had to drink. He stumbles into his apartment and goes up to his room. He slumps down onto his bed on his back very heavily, causing the room to shake a bit. He opens his eyes, only to find his glass shandelier falling from directly above his face. His body was found by his girlfriend the next morning. I guess there's no real moral to the story then... Maybe it's: You can drink and drive, but don't put a shandelier directly above your bed... I guess? Wow. What are the odds?

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squash squash who squash my ass

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A ginger a blond and a burnett where walking in the dessert... They died of heat exhaustion.

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Do you know what's funny? 9/11

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"Welcome to Mcdonalds, Would you like to try our new Chicken BigMac today?" "No"

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one day a white guy was in detroit. it was very strange. nothing happened

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Hi

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i have to tell you a knock knock joke. but you have have to start it..

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Whats really down a black hole? I don't know...The last person to go down one never came back because he died of AIDS.

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q: Why does my grandpa climbs a phone pole with a bag of bananas? a: He likes to climb and he might get hungry.

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What's the hardest thing to do while masturbating? Having sex.

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Where do you put a black jew? In the back of the.... oh wait i have never seen a black jew before.

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What does a joke and an anti-joke have in common? Nothing, since "anti-" refers to the opposite of the word that it is modifying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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