Once upon a time there was a man exercising, he pulled a muscle and had to have his heart removed. In other words, don't exercise. The end.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there Not Sarah

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Why women like NBA players so much? Because they have money.

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What would you do if I said a horse ate your mother? It doesn't mattet, I didn't

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

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There once was a woman from Ealing, Who had a peculiar feeling She went to the doctors and was consequently diagnosed with Chlamydia

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it hit a poll and died of brain damage the next day

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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it was christmas day and the boy opened his first present... and he immediately got aids.

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what did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, They just waved.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

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what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

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A man walked into a bar and a knife seventeen times.

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What do you call shark with no dorsal fin? Unused ingredients for soup.

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What do you call a man who leaves his wife and kids to be with another woman? A dick.

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Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

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What did the penis say to the vagina? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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pady irish man paddy english man and paddy african man go on a magic slide wat ever you say will be at the bottem paddy irish man said gold paddy english man silver paddy african man almost fell off so he said shit buthalf way down he thought it was fun so he said wee

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Your mother's so fat that affects her self esteem.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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