"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

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What is fat and white? A polar bear with a glandular problem.

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Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

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What is green, brown, has four legs and would kill you if it fell on you from out of a tree? A pool table

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Why did Helen Keller always ride in the passenger seat? so she could SUCK THE DRIVERS D!CK!!!!!!!!!

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he needed to get to the store across the street.

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What do cookies and Ruber have in common? Ones edible one is not

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? A: I'm sorry. I was raised in an abusive home and I never learned how to properly express my emotions. I'm going to seek professional counseling but in the meantime we should end our relationship for your safety.

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Yo momma so ugly, except she's not. She's looking beautiful today.

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Q: What's brown and smells like poo? A: poo

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your mums so fat that shes HUGE!!!!

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Get the FREE anti jokes app with loads and loads of anti jokes anywhere you go, even offline! All the funniest and most popular, and loads more new ones. Why not? After all, it's free! http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/hilarious-anti-jokes-lite/id438092279?mt=8&ls=1

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Time to get a watch

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Of course, you have always found more joy in seeing others happy, that pursuing your own happiness.

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I am a schizophrenic, so am I.

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A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

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Why did the blond have a wierd look on her face? Because she was ugly

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Why did Mary fail to consume her breakfatst? Because Suzy has a history of bi-polar disorder as well as anorexia.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

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What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane? There's no such thing. 500,000 people can't fit onto one plane.

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Why did the man get off the bus? Penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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