Listen bitch, get over here, let me poke out your fucking eyeball, and then you tell me if it is reasonable or not to fucking be pissed afterwards! As for your goddamn technique, of course I understand it, I use it too, its the ironman method as far as I am concerned. Do not share it with people here, you can go share it with your little "shadow people" but that shit took years to develop. But yeah, you tell me whatever the hell you consider "reasonable" you get me the money, and then we can see about being "reasonable". I know many of your methods, NLP, hypnosis, covert, warm and cold reading, I know you are no fucking psychic nor do you read minds, stop telling me what the hell your "Order" is, because whatever the hell it is, your "Nero`s" have proven on this site alone, that its a laughingstock that in no way could have brought six hundred people towards liking you, even less six millions.

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knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

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i hate non minorities!

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My girlfriend dumped me because I'm patronizing. That means I treat people like they're stupid.

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roses are red violets are blue i have AIDS i'm about to die

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How do you make seven an even number? You don't, it's impossible.

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What has 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs at noon, and 3 legs in the afternoon? A dog that got its hind legs chopped off, and then only got 1 prosthetic one.

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So the docter saw the girl had a "M" on her chest during surgery. He asked her if he had a boyfreind from Michigan. She said "no, but i have a girlfreind from winsconsin, why do u ask?"rf

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Nothing.

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Why did the depressed man complain about life? He didn't he committed suicide.):

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There is a bomb. It blows up and kills 26 people.

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A horse walks into a mans house. The man wonders how the horse got into his house.

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My mom's dead

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What is one plus one? I don't want to do math.

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how did the girl fall off the swing. BECAUSE SHE HAD NO ARMS HAHAHAH

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When life throws you lemons, duck.

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So, a bulldozer rolls into a bar, there is no bar now.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A chicken doesn't need a motive to cross a road, it just does.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Except it's not usually a rectangular or love heart shaped... nor does it contain small expensive assorted candy... life may not also contain nuts... or be devoured by our fellow human... Life is not like a box of chocolates

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A horse walks in a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?"..... The horse incapable of understanding the humane language promptly poos on the floor and leaves.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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A man decides to go hunting in the woods with a shotgun, he is going through the woods and a bear randomly pops out of no where, knocks him down and rapes him. So the next day he came back with an even bigger shotgun and said, "i am going to kill this bear" so he goes through the woods, the bear comes out of nowhere, knocks him down and rapes him again. So he comes back the next day with and even bigger shotgun and says, " i am going to kill this bear, skin it, and eat it" so hes going through the woods and out comes the bear, knocks him down, gets real close to his face and says, "you dont come out here for the hunting do ya".

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What do you do with a Jewish kid with add( attention deficits disorder)? Send him to a concentration camp

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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