What do two black guys do when they walk into the convienent store with masks? Buy candy for Trick-or-Treating

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I like jokes.

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How can you tell if a substance is an acid or a base just by looking at it? You can't. pH or Litmus paper would be necessary in order to determine whether a substance is an acid or a base.

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What's brown and seven feet tall? A door

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Doctor! Doctor! There is a fly in my soup! Moral: Huh?

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Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

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How does a doctor wake up in the morning He opens his eyes

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What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw it after I chopped its' head off.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" Not the best move Anne Frank ever made.

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Wanna here somethin funny? Nope.avi

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Whats the worst part of your school burning down? A: The burnt pizza.

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Q:What does a virgin and a penny both have in common? A:Guys don't want them.

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You are in England which has a law about not moving traffic when these idk some kinda swans cross the road. You see a fat woman in a car and she is waiting for the swans to cross the road and she can't drive the car else she would get in trouble by law. What do you do? Feed her

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Why did the hunter shoot the deer? Because he was hungry and might starve to death if he didnt

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What did Batman say to Robin before the got into the Batmobile? - Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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What is funnier than 9 black fellas dead in a trashbin? 1 black fella dead in 9 trashbins.

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I have a dig bick you that read wrong you read that wrong too.

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Why did the orange cross half way across the road Because it ran out of juice

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt will thank you.

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What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber with a chicken? Most likely some kind of singing human-chicken monster, although given the little research done on cross-species splicing, this is a highly improbable circumstance.

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Knock Knock! Who Is it? You, Tig

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Why was the little girl blowing bubbles in the swimming pool? Because she was drowning

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Why did the girl fall off of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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