How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

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(insert antijoke here

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What did the blonde say when she saw anti-joke.com for the first time? Nothing. She's been in a vegetative state for three years and her parents finally decided to pull the plug.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it was being sexually abused by its father.

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What is the defference between Obama and an American? Obama doesn't have a birth certificate.

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What did the doctor say to the lawyer? Nothing. They weren't even together. He was in the hospital saving people and the lawyer was in his office working on a case.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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I AM SHOWERING IN THE BLOOD AND ORGANS OF ENDORPHIN RUSH IN ORDER TO APPEASE THE GODS KNOWN AS... ME, MYSELF, AND I!

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How did bill lose his legs he got them amputated after contracting a severe case of "INeedToGetMyLegsAmputatedSyndrome"

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what did the boy say to his mum when he got home from school nothing he has no tongue

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Knock knock whos there? Underware Underware who? I underware my friends are

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What did Selena Gomez say to JB? We're breaking up cuz u smell like French fries and you look like a poop

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Disabled

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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I you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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Your mama's so fat, she cries daily and regularly questions her purpose in life.

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How are you doing today? I'm fine...Except for the rape.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

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What did the blind football player say to his coach? I cant see

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What do you get when you cross an own and a bungee cord? My ass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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