Why did the student have a staring contest with his teacher? Well, the teacher was actually unaware of the competition.

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Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

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What do you call a black teen on Maury Povich? A mother.

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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A man. That is all.

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

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What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless

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Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a passing car.

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Whats red and tastes like parsley? Not Red Parsley

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Why doesn't Batman exist? Because he was made up.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because-- ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????? ??????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????

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What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

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It was a dark night, I was walking home from the shops in town, The wind was whistling through my damp hair, My spine tingled and i tucked my hands under my stinking pits. I felt like someone was watching me, I walked faster the breath was warm on my kneck i turned around. It was gary glitter he pulled down my pants and gave me the best sucky i ever had. We kissed and i tasted the cheese from my knob. In all garry glitter has a giant knob

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-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a girl? Consensual sexual intercourse between two young adults.

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Why do everytime I go to toilet for number 2. I look into the toilet to see if this one's nicer than the last one.

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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Why did Jimmy pass out Cause he drank a full tallboy

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Q: why did the black man kill the white man? A: he was clinically depressed, mentally unstable, and had a grudge against the white man that had nothing to do with his race.

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Why did the swing fall off the girl? I have dyslexia

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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