Why did Poppy lose at sports day? Because she had a heart attack and died.

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When my Xbox died, my girlfriend said: "Finally, you can treat me the same way you treated that thing!" So I tapped her so hard that she died

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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Why did the cow say moo? Because all cows say moo

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Nathan Gooderson.

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Why are asians such bad drivers? Cause they constantly have their eyes closed.

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Equal rights!

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What do Ethiopians do at night? Starve

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It probably saw an animal that it wanted to chase, or a person carrying food, or another dog that it wanted to make friends with.

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How do we achieve world peace? KILL EVERYBODY. Nobody can fight when they're dead.

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How do you get 10 babies out of a blender? Potato Chips! Stupid!!!!

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So your driving your brick car and the steering wheel falls off. So how many pancakes does it take to fill your dog house? 12 because hamsters don't wear shoes

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What does a Jewish man do when he sees a new car? Doesn't buy it because he puts his money in a fund.

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a fat man eats porkchops all day ling shit a just craped my pants

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Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

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Where does a leper go every Monday and Wednesday? The dermatologist.

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what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny? Nothing. Nothing happens when you insert batteries backwards

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What do you call two black guys having sex with Paris Hilton? N*ggas in Paris

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A black man, a hispanic man, and an asian man all walk into a biker bar. The bartender asks them if they know that this is a biker bar. All three say yes and tell the bartender that they are in the same motorcycle club. The bartender serves them a beer.

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What did the boy do before school? Jacked off.

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What is worse than seeing your whole family die? Leaving your wallet on the bus.

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who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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