Two penguins are in a bathtub, one penguin asks the other "can you pass the soap?" the other penguin says "what do I look like? A toaster?"

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

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A rooster is standing on top of a pointed bird house. He lays an egg. Which side does the egg fall, the left or the right? I don't care, I'm a vegetarian.

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What is big, green, fuzzy, and would kill you if it fell on you? A pool table.

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How do you feed a mockingbird? Give it some food.

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Why are tests such a pain in the ass? Because your vomiting shit you'd learned the night before.

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haw are alligators and turtles simaler? They are both reptiles and carnavores and their speaces goes all the way back to the dinosoar ages

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Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding half of regis philbin in your apple...

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What did the girl say when she got her period? Nothing, why would she want anyone to know?

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

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What the the newly born male dog get for his first birthday? A loss of two testicles.

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What did i say to the stupid person? Your Stupid.

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Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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What do you call someone who takes a toaster into their bath? Adele's number one fan.

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A man died.

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Why did the women hit the telephone pole? There are many theories but one suggests that it is due to womens statistically lower cognitive spacial reasoning abilities.

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Why did Jimmy drop his Ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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What do you call a cheese that's not yours? Cheese

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Yo momma's so fat she ate Sally's arms. Knock Knock Who's There. The police we have a warrant for your mothers arrest on charges of cannibalism and kidnapping.

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Hey, want to hear a joke? Women's Rights

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What's blue and smells like sky? Sky

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Steven hawkings shook my hand

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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