Police say's 'have you been drinking' and you reply back saying 'YES' then the police brings out the blower and you blow, it says on it that you are fine, but then the cops ask you 'what did you drink' and you just say 'well i drank juice for breakfast then had some water, tea, coffee' the cops get really angry but before he says anything you say that ' I AM MUSLIM'

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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Whats an Anti-joke?? A joke that possesses the kind of humor based on the surprise factor of absence of an expected joke or of a punch line in a narration which is set up as a joke.

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What did johanne buy when she got pregnant? A staircase

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How do you annoy a farmer? Shoot his wife.

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We just got a letter We just got a letter We just got a letter I wonder who it's from Oh look, it's a letter from our friends If there is a place you got to go I am the one you need to know I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! If there is a place you got to get I can get you there I bet I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map!

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Why did the blonde walk into a glass wall? Because she either wasn't watching where she was going or the wall was so clean that it appeard not to be there

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a horse walks into an abandoned lighthouse , the lighthouse keeper is angered by this and ushers the horse to leave but the horse gets startled and kicks the mans bookshelf over before galloping away

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An Irish man walks past a bar... it could happen...

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What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing becasue a mute is a person who cannot speak and a deaf man ould not hear the jumbled mumblings anyway.

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Roses are blue Violets are red Sugar are you And so is sweet

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Why did the little boy stick a fork in the electrical socket? Because he wanted to escape his abusive stepfather

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie...

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Roses are red Violets are blue If I see another Joke like this (besides mine) I'll kill you

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What's worse than being raped? Being raped after getting raped.

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A man walks into a bar. The second man sees the first man's mistake and ducks. The third man needs to take no precautions as he is a midget and can simply walk under the bar.

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Can you say the word "toy boat" 10 times fast? No

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why couldnt the kid get off the couch when his mom asked him to? he was paralyzed

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Uber Driver: "Hey I'm close, where are you?" Me: "oh, I see you!" Uber Driver: "Are you that guy in the middle of the road?" Me: "yeah, floor it"

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Q; What smells like chicken, tastes like turkey and looks like duck? A; Nothing...dumbass.

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Q: I have 2 dogs. Why? A: I like dogs

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Double-whammy

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What does the Jewish man and the Atheist have in common? They both believe in a god. Except the Atheist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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