Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it was dead, thus incapable of independent movement.

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What sound does a dog make? WOOF What sound does a cat make? MEOW What sound does a giraffe make? ...

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Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

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What did George Washingtn say to is men before crossing the Delaware? Men, get in the boat.

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How do you make a tissue dance? Blow a little boogie in it!

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Why did the little boy didn't finish his dinner? He died.

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Why did Bob the Builder die? He had cancer.

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An SQL query walks into a bar, sees two tables and asks if it can join them.

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Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

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A guy asks, "Why was my mom in your bed?" The other guy replies, "Because your mom has a mental disease which inhibits her ability to process thought."

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Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

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True fact: every rabbit lives their whole cute life.

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What do you call a fat man that breaks into your house at 2 a.m. and steals your money and your television? Probably a dumbass, a jackass, a moron, an idiot, or something in that general area.

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c:

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Two muffins are in an oven, when one muffin says to the other "its hot in here." The other muffin then says, "whoa! a talking muffin!"

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Did you hear about the absent minded professor that tried to change the tire on his pickup truck? He forgot to lock the jack and the truck crushed his head like and egg shell.

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What do you call two gays with small dicks? Trace and Jacob

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I don't have a last name.

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Hickory dickory dock. Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one; The other escaped with minor injuries.

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Why is Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven was a creepy movie, and it gave Six nightmares.

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A racist indian (from india) walks into a bar (in india). A catholic priest walks into the same bar. The bar says 'moo'. The bar is a shape-shifting cow.

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A man walks inta pet store looking for a dog. All he finds are cats.What did he end up buying. A weasel

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The last person on Earth is sitting home alone when suddenly there is a knock at the door. Knock knock Who's there? *silence* Damn this joke got creepy...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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