How many people like gang rape? 9 out of 10

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what is so funny about billy? nothing he is dead and if you laught at him you are the biggest jerk by: Brennan pickrell

thumb_up thumb_down -46

An elephant stomped on a mouse. What did the mouse say? Nothing, the mouse was incapable of speech due to the elephants actions.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did one tampon say to another? Nothing they were both stuck up.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Laughter and joy... You are really sweet you know.. Excuuuse me princess! But Like Mickey Mouse never changed... From a Potato peeler to some fuckup private detective in a trenchcoat. So tell me, what character did Walt Disney draw before Mickey Mouse?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

You wanna hear a joke? The 19th amendment. Just kidding, women are actually a very valued part of our society. Just kidding again.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Darnell has a 2 ounce gold chain around his neck. Gold is worth $1,639 per ounce. Where did Darnell steal the gold chain from?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs? Nothing, it cant come

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did Simon drown? Simon couldn't swim.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

An aspiring lawyer walks into a Bar. He will find out if he passed in a few months.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red... That depends in how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

so...um, yeah

thumb_up thumb_down -19

guhhjghkjghjgkwefyuwefgehdfbfryfgwdfhdbfadhfbewifoyqgefhqjdbsjdkdfbnqerwifuqbdjsa wuefgeyfgdshkjjhgfiuyegfdhfbdksabnfehwbfeiofqwrypweqiryewpiryewufhdjfbxncmsbahewf bdcuhbwewhuxnyfurgbcyuiwfbewcyiubnyfeurieixybnqweircbnewociuxnbweu crbweyuicyxbreuwxcybewuoiqbyxeowucybnqweucbnowieywicybrqweiubncyqoweubnrcyuowiebno

thumb_up thumb_down -1

i have a pet duck, when i take it a bath i use cold water, if i use hot water it and i drop a carrot in the tub it will think im cooking it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why couldn't the women cook for her family She had no arms, therefore incapable of preforming the task.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What color was the duck? It had one foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between a duck? A vest has no sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What Batman Said to Robin before getting into the car? I'll drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops