a dog walks into a drug store and orders a bone. what does the cashier do? she wakes up.

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why didn't the boy go to school because he died last night

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Why was the Indian at the casino? He had a gambling addiction.

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So three black men walk into a bank, one of them uses the ATM, they all proceed to the exit after he is done.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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What do you call a black man that steal from your shop? A thief

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A man with glasses and a cane walks out if a clothing store and accidentally bumps into a woman, knocking his hat off "Can't you watch where you're going?" the woman asks. The man then slaps her, knocking her to the ground. He picks up his new designer fedora, and drives off in his $90,000 Cadillac. The woman, after dusting herself off, gets the guy's plates, convinces a few witnesses to testify against the man, and informs the authorities of an assault. He was later arrested for assault as well as pimping and soliciting sex. He is found guilty in a court of law and is sentenced to 2-5 years in prison, and is doled a hefty fine.

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What did the japanese man say to the other Japanese man? I like your eyes.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Im Really Stoned And you have met with a terrible fate haven't you?

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What did the transvestite say to the fox? 'scuse me, you've got something on your shoe.

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Where do you go when you die? Nowhere

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What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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Ding Dong! Who's the - - - wait - - - I don't have a doorbell.

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What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

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Did you hear about the boy with the treehouse? He caught his mom cheating on his dad in there.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the other ____?

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Smeg...

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was holding on to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Pier pressure.

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when life gives you 100 reasons to cry, you should cry. you're lucky you haven't killed yourself at this point

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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Q: What do you call a black pilot? A: A pilot, you racist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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