Whats the worst thing about seeing a truck being snapped in half? It was mine

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What did one muffin say to the other? I'm baked... just kidding muffins are food and therefore can not speak

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batman has diarrhea

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The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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So this guy walks into a bar, & says "I'll have a beer"........ Yup

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FIRE!!

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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Why did Frank go to the doctor? He had a bad case of the ebeyjeebes.

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Why was the picture so dark? Because it was night time and there were no light fixtures located anywhere near where the photo was taken.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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oh whatever Greece isn't going to leave the eurozone shut up about it already

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1 error prohibited this post from being saved There were problems with the following fields: * Body can't be blank

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What is black, white, and red all over? A domino dipped in kitten blood.

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Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

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If you have two berries in one hand, and three in the other, what do you get when you put them together? Five.

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Why did the vulture cross the road? To get to the pile of dead babies left over from the Holocaust.

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What's worse than waking up with a hangover? Not waking up at all

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A man walks into a bar and approaches a man "Ask me if I'm a tree." "Fine.Are you a tree?" "No."

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Your mother is so stupid that she has trouble discerning certain facts from fiction.

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Why was the little boy upset? He was on fire.

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Whats the difference between me and a ghost? What? Ghost are not dolphins

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One day, a woman was walking down an alleyway at midnight She reached the end of the alley and realised that it was a dead end, as there was a brick wall, so she turned around and headed on back home.

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I like my women like i like my coffee... with big titis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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