matt has ebola...funny right!?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up on its own? The kickstand was broken and the child whom of which owned the bicycle no longer had the need for training wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did Annie the Orphan get for Christmas? News that her parents are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A local police officer pulls up to tell you something. Listen carefully: Three zebras have been spotted crossing the Mexican border. He goes into his truck, pulls out a can of marbles, peanut butter, seven velcro straps and a rhino horn covered in glitter. Your mission is simple: Kill the zebras using your equipment. You will be rewarded if you have enough peanut butter to make a sandwich after. Go now... Get it done.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many midgets does it take to change a light bulb? If you do the math, it's probably one.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

William Wright. 8 perry street Answer-Gay

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did somebody text "lol"? Because they laughed out loud.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the black guy wear a hat? To keep the sun out of his eyes

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what has 2 legs and bleeds alot half a dog

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a sociopathic murderer.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.. unless you're color blind...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between a cow and some dirt? They're the same except for almost everything

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

sorry son your nanas been put down

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What starts with an F and ends with a UCK? Firetruck.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm ovulating

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What dosent a Jew and a pizza have in commen? A: The pizza dosent scream when you put it in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A co-pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what's black and white? everything. i'm a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did the man say to the other man when he saw a dinosaur look.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops