Why did the retirement home go out of business. There was a fire and all of the residents charred to death accept for a couple who escaped but were too traumatized to return to the old folks home.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many Dead Babies does it take fill a phone booth? There is an obvious epidemic going around causing millions of babies to die. This is no laughing matter and the mothers of these babies are probably going through therapy to get over their lost.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats the easiest way to solve problems in Haiti? Nuke them.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 5 dollars he would have 10 dollars

thumb_up thumb_down -56

What do u call a man pointing a gun at you? A man with an anger issue

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red, Violets are red, Holy crap, the garden's on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many Chinese people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Your mother is so stupid that she has lived a very unfulfilling life due to her lack of education.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A black man walks into a bank with a gun......he is a 25-year veteran SWAT team officer attempting to arrest two armed robbers that have 5 old ladies hostage.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what happens when you have A.D.D.? you're EXTREMELY annoying

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the kid want money? So he could buy pokemon cards.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

alert("Hello");

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you like your eggs in the morning? -Poached or Fertilised?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the girl say to the boy? Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

holly shit!!!! when did i get on the internet !?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did Sir Mix a lot say to the girl with a big butt? Your very beautiful.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How do porcupines have sex? The male begins by urinating all over the female. He then enters her from behind and proceeds to thrust until the act is completed.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

If 2 trains are going 60 mph, their going in opposite directions towards each other, they are slowing down 1 mile per hour per 10 miles and they are 100 miles away, would you rather have Coke or Pepsi?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because its rayseans favorite number

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Yo mama so ugly, she has to work harder than most women to attract men.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why wasn't Abraham Lincoln a good president? Because he got shot in the head and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

person 1: i have a good knock knock joke person 2: ok what is it? person 1: say knock knock! person 2: knock knock person 1: trollollollollollollo

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops