Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Jeff: Did you know, someone called you an owl? Billy: Who?

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What do you get from M&M bags? M&Ms.

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Hello.

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What happened to the boy after his life saving surgery? He died of an unrelated disease.

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a mom tell her kid not to play with knives ten years later tells her kid not to play with knives and the kid asks y and the mom says because ur older brother killed his father and himself playing with knives so the kid said mom i promise i wont do that then kils his mom and himself

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Why did Steve put his trumpet in the fridge? He had begun the early stages of dementia and was becoming increasingly confused and detached from reality. Also he was German.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What´s Green and turns Red at your Finger Tips? Frog in a Blender.

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What ended in the year 1970? 1969

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How do you get a girl with two jobs to drop on her knees? Through a penny on the knees

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How many dueche bags does it take to change a light bulb? 0 They're two complete unrelated things

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During english, we started talking about Attention Deficit Disorder when... OOOOOOOOOHHHHHH SHINY... wait what were we talking about

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It's all fun and games until you stop having fun

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a black man kills a family member of a mexican guy. the mexican guy goes to the police, what happens? The mexican guy gets deported back to his country after they realize that he was illegal

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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Q. What's brown and sticky? A. A stick.

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So a man walks into a bar. Well, he trips over it because it was very low to the ground and he didn't see it.

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What did the lawyer get for Christmas? More paper work

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Q. Why did Mary fall down the steps? A. Because she had no legs.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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Why does Bugs Bunny have big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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Question 1 - What is 1 + 1 = Hospital

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being raped What's worse than being Raped. Being Raped 2 times by a Giant Scorpion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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