Pencils are yellow, Grass is green OK

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did Johnny fall off his bike? Because Johnny's a goldfish.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? As they can't find any, they are just squirrels, they can not asist little timmy choking on the lightbulb rolling around on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +33

%3c%2fa%3e%3c%2fh3%3e alert("The Game."); %3cScR%69pt%2ffoo%3eev%61l%28%27ale%27+%27ert%28%29%27%29;

thumb_up thumb_down +1

how do you make a homosexual man have sex with a woman? shit in her vagina

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

thumb_up thumb_down +7

a black guy a chinese guy a jewish guy and a gay guy are standing on a ledge. they are all ready to jump off and commit suicide. suddenly a basketball falls from the sky. the black guy is like oh shit that my bball. he cant resist, he jumps off the ledge, grabs the ball, spins in mid air, and shoots it through the window that they came out of. then he falls to his death. the other three guys are questioning whether they wanna actually kill themselves when all of a sudden a jiggly dildo flies past. the gay guy sees it, and he needs it in his butthole. he jumps off, grabs the dildo, shoves it in his ass, and falls to his death. the chinese and the jew are the last alive. they decide that they dont want to die and they start crawling back towards the window. then out of nowhere, two quarters and a nickel shoot up from the ground, right in front of them. the jew needs them. he jumps off the ledge and pockets the change. then he falls to his death. the chinese guy is the last one alive. he jumps off and falls to his death.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

The jets are a good team..

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Jesse gets back at people who takes his job, by trying to get with their sloppy seconds.. Emphasize trying.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you name a beast who eat rocks and fly. rock-eater flying beast

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats worse than a worm in your apple? -slavery

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a gay man? Homosexual

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What time did the tennis start? Tennish

thumb_up thumb_down -19

(Guys I want to get the most likes so like my joke.) What did the person want. To get the most likes :)

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Three girls are eating icecream one girl sucks on her icecream the second girl licks on her icecream and the third girl bites on her icecream. Q: Which of the three girls is married? A: The girl with the wedding ring.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why don't you ever stick your hand into the bottom of the jelly bean jar? Cuz' the black ones will steal your watch

thumb_up thumb_down -6

You know what you can do with your offer to 'help'? Await another opportunity please I appreciate it much.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

an indian woman works at seven eleven. this is because her son has one leg and she needs to pay pay for all the medical needs.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you get after putting bread in a toaster? -Toast.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's worse than nine dead babies hanging in a tree? One dead baby hanging in nine trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What happens when you choke a smurf? Nothing, smurfs aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops