Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

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A seal walks into a club.

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Roses are red, Sometimes they're thorny, When I'm around you, I get kind of Horny

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Lamborghini mercy, yo chick she so thirsty Swerve, swerve

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yo mama so fat that when she jumped on her tempurpedic mattress the wine did spill

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Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Neither did she.

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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An atheist sneezed. Everyone around him said "god bless you". He thanked them and continued on with his normal day because it wasn't really that big of a deal to him.

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Well I do want it to end now but...WHAT? How did you get that trough? I thought hypnosis was supposed to increase awareness and focus.

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What is green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted a car to kill him so he can get to the other side with his wife and son. In other news,I had a very nice chicken cutlet and scrambled egg dinner.

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Why did i write this? I was bored

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What's 8 inches long and makes my girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage

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how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

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Roses are red Violets are twisted bend over now your about to get fisted

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How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

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"I can't wait to eat this bagle!" "Yes you can." "Yeah, I guess you're right."

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Why did lil' Jimmy fall off his bike? The weight ratio between the left and right sections of his body became uneven due to some sort of change in the traction of the tires to the bumps on the road/ path.

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your momma so stupid she dropped out of high school

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A bike.

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Why did the man go to jail? He abused and later murdered his spouse.

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There are two muffins in an oven. Since they are inanimate objects, they do nothing but sit there and bake until they are a golden brown color, at which point a man takes them out of the oven and eats them for breakfast.

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If your yacht is if moving at 50 knots per hour in a wind tunnel how many leprechauns can you fit in a chamber? Even, because purple is attracted to bestiality.

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Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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