Please don't rape me.

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Why did Sandy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sandy.

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What did tarzan say when he saw 100 elephants coming over the hill? Look there's 100 elephants coming over the hill What did tarzan say when he saw 100 elephants coming over the hill with sunglasses on? Nothing he did not recognize them

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How do you stop a bus? Throw a little child in front of it. If the driver is a loaf of bread, this phrase isn't rather important.

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whats sad about three black men driving off a cliff in a cadillac? a cadillac seats five.

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What is the diffrents between a Mexican and a elevator? one can raise children the other is a mexican!!!!!

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What did Tarzan say when the monkeys came over the hill? Hey look, the monkeys are coming over the hill.

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Spotto

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*Wear a Mario costume* What happened to Luigi? I ate him.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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You are so ugly that when you were born the doctor didn't say anything to your mother because he has social manners.

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How was the fifty-four year old counselor in nineteen places at once? He was blasted by a cannonball.

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Knock Knock: There is no one in here! GTFO! Okay, yes sir or mam Moral: I told you there is no one here, gtfo already!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

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What is the easiest way to babysit a black kid? Find an activity that you can both relate to and enjoy. Hopefully after doing this for a while, the youngster will become tired and fall asleep. You can then watch TV, read or talk on your cell phone until his or her parents get home.

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You know whats worse than finding a fly in your soup? 9/11

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There was a seal and polar bear on the same iceberg. The polar bear turns to the seal and says "Roar!!" Then the polar bear ate the seal.

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A man walks into a bar He wakes up from his coma 21 years later and learns that humans now serve pumpkins as gods.

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What's difficult and tedious to do? Trying to find a joke with 0 thumbs up/down -Sykes

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what do you call obama a dumbass

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Why Are Parking Lines White? - So You Can See Them..

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why was the boy sad? because his mom just punched his hamburger

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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