If I was a backstabber, you would have been dead already, without me having anything to do with it in the first place, listen, we cannot change the world, those that control the media, control the world. And our role was the opposite, we wanted people to find their individual selves and put their talents for use for themselves and us, today the media tells people who they are, what they like, and what to eat and wear. None of us can do this, point zero is gone, its simply a matter of time, but if you want to try, I can do what I can, in hopes of delaying the inevitable.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is a refrigerator and white all over? A refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +219

How do you kill Helen Keller? With a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than getting a papercut? Literally anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What happens when you get caught inside a tornado? You don't, the debris around you will most certainly kill you before you get close to the tornado.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

a man walks into a bar. ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why do elephants eat peanuts? so they can save the wrappers for valuable prizes

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the black man do when KFC got his order wrong? He gave his receipt to the cashier and kindly asked for the correct meal.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red, Violets are unicorns, This s h i t doesn't make sense, Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the dog get arrested? He didn't the people responsible for causing the dog fight got arrested for animal abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

an atheist and a christian meet in a bar they chat about football, order some pints, and have a really good night.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock eater,

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

knock knock come back later i'm taking a shower!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why Is Jarrod spencer gay Coz he is

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You could stab him repeatedly with a box cutter and demand his social security number, but I wouldn't suggest it. He would most likely beat you up.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops