Hey how was your audition?" "yeah really good, I got in...

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what's harder than dodging bullets? dodging rain

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What happens if you confuse your male best friend's and your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, their both named Adam.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

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Women's professional sports

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, becuse if something is red all over it cannot be black nor white.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the city on the other side. He hoped he could find work in one of the city's cheap factories. He needed money for his family: he could not bear to see them slowly starve for any longer. If he could get a lowly-paid job he may be able to just sustain them. But he knew it could not last for long. He would probably die on the streets or in the slums, cold, lonely and starving. But it was a risk worth taking - he could not see his own family waste slowly away like so many of his friends had.

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A unicorn

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An alligator walks into a bar. The bar tender calls animal control and calmly escorts everyone out the back door.

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why is georgia shit at making jokes i dont know

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why was the old woman angry? fig pudding.

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk and leave. 2 hours later there's a newscast about two drunken men who died in a car accident. It wasn't them, the newscast about them came shortly after

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The Pope, a Rabi and an Islamic religious leader go into a room and come out with what? A new understanding of each others cultures.

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Why did the small 12 year old run away which a chicken. He felt like it and he was carrying bread which the chicken was allergic to.

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did you hear about the man who crossed the road? he made it.

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Guy: If you can guess what's in my hand, you can have it. Girl: If it fits in one hand, you can keep it!

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Q: How did the black man get to the first branch on the tree? A: He climbed, like the average person.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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whats funnier than womens rights? ottos weight

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Two black guys walk into a bar and arrest the under age drinkers

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why did Jen fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock who's there not Jen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops