Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

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What did Superman say when he forgot his cape? "Where's my cape?"

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what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

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wht does a blonde do with a box of crayons? eat a taco.

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What did the 11 year old boy get for christmas? A wet dream

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A man walked into a room and said to his friend, "I am about to show you something amazing." He claps twice and the lights turn on. He is using a device called The Clapper made by Joseph Enterprises, Inc. using advanced technology that was patented in 1985.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm deaf. I'm deaf who? What?

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why did ryan go to bed? because he is a growing boy and need it to keep in line for his study's i lied about him sleeping hes dead he was abducted

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CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

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What do you call a black man on a horse? A BLACK MAN A ON A HORSE.

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What is the biggest lie in the world How the **** should I know

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Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

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What did the little boy get on christmas morning? Cancer.

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You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

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Yo momma so fat, when she sits on a rainbow nothing happens, as rainbows are merely rays of light refracted off of water particles in the air, apparent to humans only on a visible spectrum.

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Knock knock Who's there Heyyyy mackane!! ;)

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Why did the kids all eat their homework? Probably because they were starving to death and there was no other food source available.

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Feeling alone fast after opening your mouth? Feel that people ignore your conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say AHAH!... And Uhuh, and I PERFECTLY UNDERSTAND! Now YOU CAN BE APPRECIATED INSTANTLY BY A BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE SAYING!

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Why did the elephant paint its toenails red? So it could hide in a cherry tree. Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? No.... See, it works!

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Yo Momma's sooo fat that the speed of light at her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s.

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what did the apathetic person say? Who Cares?

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Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

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What does the Jewish man and the Atheist have in common? They both believe in a god. Except the Atheist.

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Knock Knock Who's there Kevin Kevin who Kevin your friend dumbass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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