One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

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One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

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What do you call an Asian who can't drive? Underage, and therefore has not required his license to do so.

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Knock knock Who's there? Labrinth Come in

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A boy walks up to a girl he finds attractive and says "You're body's kick'in! ... i mean...hey, do you know karate?"

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Chuck norris is seen standing outside a bakery in Paris holding numchucks. He just finished lunch

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What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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What is orange and smells like a jewish cat. Nothing

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

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Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

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What's red and smells like blood? Blood.

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whats the difference between a turkey and a baby i dont know how to cook a turkey

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i black man walks in to a bar.he askes if he can make out with you? the man says"no. black man says"why? the guy says"because im not homersexal. black man says"oh. boss says"hey i told you dont talk to black people. guy says"no i can ekplan.boss says no more of buts or buy. boss says" you are fired guy says"NO! boss says"yup both of you get out! guys say no two guards come to talk them out. THE END`DONE!

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here's a joke... the american education society

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Asians...

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Why was the mohel touching the little boy's penis? Because that's his job!

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what did helen keller name her dog? scruffy

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What does KFC stand for? Kids Fattening Center

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What's worse than finding your cat dead? Finding your cat dead because it choked on your goldfish.

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why did the chicken cross the road to get to your house knock knock whos there the chicken

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Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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Q: Whats better than getting raped by a dog? A: Getting raped by a cat.

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What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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