If gluttony is a serious sin, why are so many Christians fat? Because they have bad eating habits.

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Did u hear what happened to that man with no arms and no legs who tried to play water polo? No, what happened He drowned....

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What did Squidqard say to Spongebob? Shut up.

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Theodore was a small kid that lived down the street. Little did he know, that Kaiwen the Poor Pedo was his next door neighbour. So he was walking one day down the street. He saw Kaiwen dead. Because he ate too much sugar. So Theodore called the police. But his phone broke suddenly. Theodore realized that his brother had filled it with broken eggshells. He was sad. He took out a few golf balls and stuffed them in his mouth. But he couldnt forget taht a fellow neighbour had died. He buried the body beneath the Carpet of Ol' Justin's House. He wasnt happy. His dad confiscated his laptop. And the golf balls

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OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

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How do you kill a zombie? You don't. Zombies aren't real.

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Why did Sara fell off her swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sara

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what did batman say to robin? get in the car

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Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

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waiter there's a fly in my alphabet soup that's not a fly that's a spelling bee

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Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone!

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asian, do math

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Where did the guy who shot his neighbor go? Jail, because he was caught, sent to court, and was convicted of murder.

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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What did the boy with no srms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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What do you call a black priest who's name is John? Father John

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how did the homeless man die? He got stabbed

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Why was the woman out of the kitchen? She was at her mother's funeral.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Hickory dickory dock, The mouse ran up the clock, Barbara called the exterminator, Who killed all 10 of them.

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Women's Rights.

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What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

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Why did the man ask the woman on a date? They were both single and looking for a unique, romantic experience that could possibly turn into a long-term loving relationship.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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