Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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why was the black guy smelly? because his white friend threw him in a dumpster

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How do you get babys to paint a house? depends on how hard you throw them

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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What do you call a pakie flying a plane The pilot... or a terrorist it up to you

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME!!!

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when life givs you lemons you say no thank you i dont take food from strangers

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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whats funnier than womens rights? ottos weight

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Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

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Yo momma's so stupid... she scored poorly on on the SAT, failed to get into a good college, worked at a walmart and lived an otherwise mundane life.

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Mexicans are inferior because! BEECUZ! Listen buddy, to be honest, I get girls every now and then because I am what they all want me to be, myself. You are a great friend as far as I am concerned, and I care a lot about you considering I saw you once like... 13 years ago, but I do not spend an entire night chatting with someone on horsehead network out of all things unless that person means a lot more than sex for me... Hell, if I did not feel that nice about you, I would not even have wanted to, and that sounds really awkward for a guy like me to say, believe me, you wont be losing a friend. AS LONG AS YOU KEEP GIVING IT TO ME! I am joking, but this is who I am (sadly) I have many female friends, and yeah well, some I well you know, I am just not the kind of guy that listens to girls sob stories, and pretend to be their gay best friend, while I watch someone bad ass come and bang her... Nah, I am more like that bad ass banger, except I dont break girls hearts afterwards. Seriously, I am really fond of you, to the point where I will say something guys mostly do not say: If you are feeling pressured into stuff, then dont do it, you wont be losing a friend, I wanna spend an intimate night with you (day, shower, on the breakfast table all that) but thats because I really like you, we have built some intimacy in pretty short time if you ask my opinion... See? Now I am being honest and leaving myself vulnerable, and I do that because I honestly care about you.

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Roses are red Violets are blue And so avatars And so is blue paint

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What does the cup-cake say to the cake? Do you want a cup in your cake to make it cup-cake?

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Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

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Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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What is the difference between the number 20 and 21 1

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3 Mormon men walk by a blonde woman eating a banana. They are not distracted by this and continue their journey of spreading Christianity.

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kara is funny she loves her money so she buys a bunny for her honey

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Roses are red, Sometimes they're white. Or pink. Or yellow. There are roses of many colors.

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand, says to the man running the stand. quack, because he's a duck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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