Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm drunk, I want Taco Bell.

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what did the bot get for his birthday? .. men!

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Roses are red Violets are blue My dick can talk And it says it wants you

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his forehead.

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What do you call two babys with one head? I dont know either, answers on postcard please!

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why did bully fall of his bike He was eaten by a fridge

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What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

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what do men with small penises use as condoms? appropriately sized condoms.

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Put my shoes on the wrong feet. Don't matter, i'm gunna die anyway.

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Guy at computer: My computer won't turn on. Help desk Guy: Did you try restarting. Guy at computer: No. The help desk guy hangs up and the guy at the computer proceeds to cry because he has failed.

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Why did ben 10's omnitrix or watch break? Because he kept slapping it.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Tank tank who? You're welcome

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How many cats would it take to change a lightbulb? Cats can't change lightbulbs

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There once was a man from Duluth who's never did rhyme. They were often too short.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes Wtf?

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why did the baby die? It was born with cancer

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A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because it escaped from the farm.

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Dr. Dick Howard Long visits a friend in England. Arriving at his friend's house, he knocked at the door. A butler then lets him in and asks, "Sir, would you like to wait while the Master bathes?" The doctor then replies, "Sure thing, I'll wait until he's done."

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What's under the first mate? The second mate.

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Knock Knock! Hmm. I'm not expecting anyone. It's probably just a telemarketer, and I'm not very interested in purchasing anything at the moment. I won't answer it.

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whats worse than forgetting your lunch at home? getting diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.

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Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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