Why wasn't the TV remote working? It was out of batteries.

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Patient- Doctor, I am feel intense feeling for 15 year old pop singers!!! Doctor- Oh, sound like youve got Beiber Fever. Patient- Whew. I thought it was something serious Doctor- Its terminal, you have about 5 more days to live.

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Me and my pet lion just took a trip to his homeland of africa. It is also worthwhile to note I'm a chronic liar.

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If you play The Binding of Isaac backwards, it's about a boy who summons Satan in hell and ascends multiple floors and eventually revives him mom by sucking in tears. He eventually becomes less of a monster until going back to his home and living hapily with his mother, completely forgetting anything had ever happened.

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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Will you marry me? I'm an atheist. ,.

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EVAN RAMSEY -CAD CLASS!

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Why was the Tyrannosaurus Rex such an aggressive animal? it had short arms so it could not masturbate.

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i am not a pothead!!! the only time ive evr been high was springbreak last year!!! mm hmm... wat were u doin over spring break to get high? i had jaw surgery and the doctor had me on tons of painkillers

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3 brothers Mohammed, Ahmed and Saahad were on the 09:25 flight from Tehran to New York. They each only carried a rucksack each and a one way ticket. They are Syrian refugees and their parents are dead.

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Chuck Norris.

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Knock knock Who's there? Prost Prost who Prostitute

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Penis!

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Did you know that I can't talk any louder than this... Exept when I can

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Mike lost his arms in a car accident. Knock knock Who's there? Not Mike.

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

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hi

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Q. Wherefore art thou Romeo? A. Global Warming. ,.

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Why did somebody text "lol"? Because they laughed out loud.

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? Throw a jar of foreskin at it.

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What did the pineapple say to the apple? Nothing, neither can speak.

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Why did the five year old leprosy survivor fall out of the tree? She had no arms, they had to be amputated.

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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what will you never loose if you play world of warcraft your verginity

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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