So, two people park their car and walk into a bar. Wait, no. They were walking into a grocery store and they were riding skateboards, not a car. Then, the kid walks in after them. Oh, did I forget to mention they had children? And also, they're married. So anyway, they walk into this grocery store, and meet a barkeep. Wait no that's ridiculous why would a barkeep be in a grocery store. Let me start over. Bah.. never mind. I forgot what happened next, but it was REALLY FUNNY!

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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Q: What did the angry German man say to the Ameican? A: I dont know, I can't speak German!

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Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

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Yo mama so dirty she takes a shower every night

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Roses are red, Violets at blue. My mind is twisted, Bend over bitch your about to get fisted.

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a man walks into a bar, he tells the bartender "im not a part of this SYSTEM"

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A horse walks into a bar the barkeeper asks 'Why the long face?' The horse, incapable of speaking English, walked around in a circle, excreated and left.

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What do you call a lazy good-for-nothing who can't succed at anything, steals your money, and who is unskilled in every way? A women

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What happened to the man that jumped off the cliff. He died....

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Does Anti-Joke have a purpose?

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what do you get when you cross a giraffe and an octopus an abomination

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Q: Why couldn't the hippopotamus get his driver's license? A: He didn't turn 16 yet.

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What's the difference between a chicken and a 3 legged dog? There are numerous differences. I will not however go into the biological explanations of these differences.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear made her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

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What did the black kid get on his report card? Math: C- English: D+ Social Studies: C+ Gym:A+ Science: D- N.P.P.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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why did no one like Ashley? because she was a bitch!

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Whats black and red inside? A black guy

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What did the elephant say to the goldfish? Nothing. Animals are unable to speak and fish aren't able to live on land

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What did Joel say to the mouse. We're both dead mouses.

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How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb?? None it is physically impossible

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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