How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

An artist walks into a bar and orders a rum and ckoe. The bartender reads the first sentence and realizes the artist is dyslexic and fixes him a rum and coke.

Why did the little girl go to the hospital?........................Beacuse she fell when trying to steal cookies out of the cookie jar on top of the fridge.

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Well, I'm naked so I'm going to go.

why did the girl say what's up. she wanted to know what they were doing

A: What do you call a deer with no eyes? A: I got NoEyeDeer!!!

What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

why can't Hellen Keller hear? she is deaf.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies " My daughter just died of leukemia."

What did the boy with a crippled arm get for his birthday? A guitar.

A man and woman are out to eat on their first date. When the woman goes to pay, the man explains that he will cover the cost of the meal. That's a good thing because the woman didn't actually have any money. This happens all the time.

Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

Whats black, white, and red all over? A severely beaten and bruised man who was found un conscience and robbed in a dark parking lot behind Dennys at 2 o'clock in the morning.

What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer..... Just Kidding! He got a bike!

What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

Why did the Asian Cross the road? Because the crossing signal went green!

Why was the blonde so dumb? She had a severe case of dyslexia, which made it difficult to study.

Two 16 year old girls are chatting on their way to school: Girl 1 : "hey, is that a hickey on your neck? say, have you been naughty? is it Brian's mark?" Girl 2 : "That's not a hickey, it's a bruise. My dad came home drunk again last night and beat me up for no reason."

Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

whats the difference between valium and m & ms ? one is,nt a tasty little chocolate

Hey connor and brett its ben, you are both at my house

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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