Why, if you are blending a baby, should you put it in feet first? So you can look in to it's eyes when masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

While teaching her second grade class, Mrs. Peets asks the class a question from last night's homework, "OK class, what did you get for number five, 5+12=?" A kid in the back raises his hand slowly. "Yes James?", said the teacher. The kid in the back says, "My dick is as hard as a rock, Mrs. Peets."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's funnier than 9/11? Nothing. 9/11 wasn't funny. It was a terrible tragedy, the most tragic in U.S. history. If you think that is funny you are a sick person. By: Logan in South Dakota

thumb_up thumb_down -13

But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Rachel: Wanna hear a conundrum? Robby: Sure! Racheal: Vampire Value card.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did one terrorist say to another? You first.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How did the clown get the baby to stop crying? He hit it with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Doctor Who visit Ancient Greece? Because has a time machine and has that ability

thumb_up thumb_down +43

I also wanted to write a joke but I forgot it so here I am. Minecraft rocks and everyone who says otherwise is a noob

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the alien say to the parachute? We're connected

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Don't you hate it when ads just [CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS!* Please click this ad, so you can give us your full name, address, phone number, bank account number, pin number and mail your credit card to us, then you will receive your MILLION DOLLARS!* (you may or may not receive one million dollars) Thank you.] pop up anywhere these days?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: Why did Sally fall off the swing? A: How the heck would I know? I don't Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

how do you make holy water? you burn the hell out of it

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 raped and murdered 8.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Anakin tell Luke he was his father? Because honest people never lie

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Man 1: my wife has lovley perfume. She smells like a peppermint cream. Man 2: Yeah, I know, I spent eight hours shagging her last night.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Camerons hair is Curly..

thumb_up thumb_down -6

how do you know when your in love? massive erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What happened to the orphan who ate a sandwitch? She got hit by a whale!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

whats worse than four babies in a box? one baby in four boxes

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops