Did you hear about the cow that could fly? Me either

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Steve Jobs is alive In our Hearts <3

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roses are blue, violets are red, im colorblind

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what do you tell a woman with one black eye? "sorry about that wild ball, you played a fantastic softball game otherwise"

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having an apple

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What do you call a blue bucket? A blue bucket. What do you call a red bucket? A blue bucket in disguise.

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What happened to the man who lost his left arm, left leg and eye in an accident? I expect he claimed insurance, assuming he was prudent enough to insure himself, or his workplace complied with legislation.

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my friend died in a car crash, now i have no friends.

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A mailman walks into a bar He delivers a bill for the electricity and leaves.

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wanna hear a really funny joke? sure women's rights.

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What did the smurf say to the other smurf? Smurf

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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imagine a world without santa ill make it easy, lookout the window

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Let's make like your mother and walk out on your family during pre-adolescence.

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why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes...? No, you're still Patrick!

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What's worse than kissy face pictures on facebook? The porn pictures on facebook.

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How do you make a black man cry? Kill his family

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A bad decision because soccer is in their blood

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A dyslexic walks into a bar. He called it a bra because he was dyslexic and dyslexics misspell things. People laughed at him because mental disabilities are inherently humorous to them.

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A man goes to the hospital he says to the doctor while poking his leg it hurts here. Then he pokes his arm and here. Then his head and here. "Yes" the doctor says you've broken your finger.

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Why couldn't sally go on the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there Sally

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What happens when you drop the soap in Prison? You pick it back up and go about your business.

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Does that doctor take insurance? No, the receptionist takes the insurance, the doctor takes your blood... Well actually, the nurse does that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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