Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

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Thank you Nero, this might not sound apropiate at all, but I am in love with you and have always been, and just want you to know that what I love the most about you is your spirit, your kindness, and sincerely, how you make me feel safe, I think its that you are dead honest to the point where you insult people asking for your opinion, I never had to question what you really mean or want, you just say it out loud, I love you, I realize it must be strange hearing that from someone you see as a daughter, I remember my father too well to consider you one, but I guess I always considered you a hot big brother of sorts. You are 32 huh? You always knew did you not? Why that secret of all things? Ill be arriving as soon as those trained killers of yours show by, and man are they fast and loyal, only you could inspire that love. I know your name is Nero, but I would not mind calling you Axel or at least knight, that's what you have always been for me.

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what's mouthwatering and smells like fish? salmon

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How do you keep a black man from robbing your house? Lock your doors, or perhaps get a update-to-date security system.

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One man was interested in purchasing poultry. He found it was as very wise investment in that he enjoyed the resulting pleasure immensely.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Just kidding. He's paralyzed

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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Hello! I am Harry Potter, and i will be teaching you pottery today! Yes, call me Mr. Pottery!

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Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

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Wanna hear a funny story? Sure Ok.

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Why couldn't the Jeffersons adopt a black baby? Their fireplace was empty.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't know any better. It very recently was decapitated in order tofeed the farmers family.

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What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

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what do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? nothing since it is impossible to combine a cat and a dog

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Yesterday I saw a blind man walking down the street, I asked if he needed help and he said "I'm fine thanks." Later on I saw a deaf man walking down the street and asked if he needed help. He didn't hear me, he then fell off the curb and was hit by a car.

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Coach: Hey, you missed the team meeting today, but I wanted to let you know we've had a number of changes to the lineup. Player: Really? Who's on first? Coach: That's right. A man with the unlikely name of Mr. Who is on first. We also have Mr. What on second, and Mr. I Don't Know is on third. The rest of the team is the same. Player: Oh. People have weird names now. But I'm sure they're great guys. Thanks for explaining that. Coach: Any time. Don't mention it.

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How to confuse a blonde. Buy 14 monkeys dye them purple and orange and hide them in her wardrobe

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was in my sandwich and i'm late for class.

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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What did the young boy get for christmas? Parental divorce

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It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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when life givs you lemons, make lesbian porn

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Which way do gay people walk? in One Direction

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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