- Anti Joke

How do you get 2000 people to go to heaven? Blow up a school.

Two fish we're in a tank.. Yup.

what do you call a boomerang that never comes back? stick

What do you call an amazing person Good

Ian's mind Elevator music

A priest, a midget, and the toothfairy walk into a bar. Barack Obama.

Two fish were lying on a bank. One said "I can't breath." The other one was dead.

A BABY seal walks into a club

So there's this girl who really wanted red socks. She goes to the store, socks are $2. Well, that sucks, she thinks. I only have $1. So she goes home and asks her mom for a buck. Sure, the mom replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my vacuum cleaner. So the girl fixes the vacuum cleaner, mom giver her the buck. The girl goes to the store, but wait. Socks are $3 now. Girl goes home, asks her dad for a buck. Sure, the dad replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my car. Girl fixes car, dad gives het a buck. Girls goes to store.Well damn, the socks are $4 now. She goes home and asks her brother for a buck. Sure, her brother replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my computer. Girl fixes computer, brother giver her a buck. Girl goes to store and FINALLY buys the socks. She comes home. Mother dead. Vacuum cleaner exploded. For 1 month the girl mourns her mom. Finally she can wear her socks. Ah crap, car accident. After 1 month mourning her dad she can finally wear the socks. Well, turns out she can't. Brother dead cause of exploded computer. After yet another month of mourning, she can FINALLY wear her red socks. So she does. Suddenly the doorbell rings. The girl opens the door and there's a polar bear standing in front of her. What did the polar bear say? WELL NOTHING, BECAUSE POLAR BEARS CANNOT TALK!!!

How do you starve a celebrity? Tell them they're fat.

What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

whats brown and sticky? shit

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? names.....

Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color

What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

Why was there an awkward silence? Because numerous people gathered in a room were not talking.

How do you unload a truck full of dead babies? With a pitch fork.

A black man, a small child, and a priest were all standing in line. They were all checking in the hospital after being in a 3 car pileup

what did one black man say to the other black man? hello

Why did German shower heads have eleven holes? Because jews only have ten fingers.

In Pokemon, why are bug types super effective against dark types? Because Ebola affected a lot in Africa.

Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An investigator

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away." "I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Get in the car

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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