How did young Austin get home while walking on the side of the street ? He didnt. He was hit by a car.

When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

What's up? Well it all depends on your current position, if you are in the center of the Earth then everything would be up. In space there is no gravity so nothing is up. If you don't understand this the sky is up.

I like my women like I like my coffee Without a penis

What did the dyslexic boy get for Christmas? A laptop. And he was very happy.

A blonde and a brunette are walking down a street. What a great way to parade and recognise the various colours that lie upon ones head.

Q: How do you give a frigid woman an orgasm? A: By making her come.

How does Lady Gaga like her meat? Cooked until it reaches an internal temperature of 180 degrees Fahrenheit to lower the risk of contracting diseases such as salmonella.

A man walks into a bar. Realizing that he left his keys in his car, he called a locksmith to unlock the doors. He did not have money to pay this locksmith and was put in prison for his large sums of debt. He was shanked by a fellow inmate and died a few days later in the prison's hospital ward.

minorities

Give to the less fortunate. Date ugly people

A man walks into a bar and slowly draws a pistol and kills 5 people.

An Irishman and an Englishman are in a bar. Suddenly a wild Dragonite attacks. The Englishman promptly catches the pokemon and continues to enjoy his drink with his Irish friend.

Q)whats pink and fluffy A)pink fluff

you just lost the game

What's the difference between being gay and being homosexual? Nothing really. The two words are synonyms so they can be used interchangeably.

Who owns the streets of Comton The mayor

"knock knock" "who's there" "I dont know, check the door"

why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled to his face.

What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting attacked by an evil demonic llama.

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

What happened to Kim when she went swimming? She didn't, she doesn't know how to swim.

why do black people were white shirts?..they feel like it

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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