Q: Why was the baby crying? A: I kicked it.

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Excuse me, I have a shitload of stuff to do, so you are Eliza huh? I thought that was just one person conveying something to someone. Anyway, what is your name? My name is actually Nero, but you do not strike me as an Eliza, first name is more than enough. You know, if you dare, Ill be back shortly, I was gonna shower but then again, I haven't moved at all today, so yeah. Saved you? I have never saved anyone well, excuse me then, see you around, worry less about people bothering with us chatting, hell they might risk learning something (not a chance, people here are fucking jackasses, with one exception, and I do not mean me this time).

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Do you know what my favorite rhetorical question is?

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How to confuse a blonde. Buy 14 monkeys dye them purple and orange and hide them in her wardrobe

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Q:why did the lion eat the zebra? A: because it was hungry.

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"bluar blah blah blarRR/ the stupid pointless part" dead people/ animals/ objects can't talk/ drive/ operate compueter, lol I'm so focken funni

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What's worse than a snake in your boot. A boot in your snake.

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Woman : Child,what time is it? Child : I'm not a kid, I Broccoli.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts.

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What did the dog say to the mouse? Cat

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? The chicken!!!!!

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Me and the wife spent her Birthday in bed, if you know what I mean. We're both severely disabled.

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A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

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What are blacks scared of? The kkk

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How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? none, you can't see them in the dark. V

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Q: What did the farmer say when he coudn't find his tractor? A: "where's my tractor?"

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What happened to Liam? He died because of an infected scrotum.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am staraiL so dont touch me!!!!!

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What is the difference between a snail and whale? A loaf of bread

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A frog walks into a bar and the bartender thinks he is very well evolved because frogs don't walk they hop

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What does Harry Potter love? Magic

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nothing drews nose is f**ing hilarious

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God and Allah are having a metaphysical picnic, God says to his fellow deity: "Why do you think so many humans have been killed in our names?" Allah muses upon this for a moment and replies: "Because they think we exist."

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What's the best thing about shrimp? It never goes bad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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