If you have 5 dollars, and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, you are both very poor.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

save me from the nothing ive become

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He had nobody to go with :)

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you fix a chimpanzee? With a monkey wrench

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the Indian at the casino? He had a gambling addiction.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man and his family walk into a talent agent's office. The man proceeds to sexually accost his wife and children. The agent calls security who escort the family out and helps the wife find a domestic violence shelter to stay at.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't you hit the little mexican boy riding a bike? - it's probably was not your bike and it would have been against the law if you did so it was the kind thing to do -AHW

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Johnny walked up to his teacher one day and asked her to explain to him how babies were made. She instead whispered back to him, "Let me show you". He declined, because he wasn't prepared to be a father.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Why was Sally sad? A: Because she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock, Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

If anyone can read me... I am Michael Jackson and I would really appreciate if someone could get me out of this... box... I mean help! Where am I! I think I have been under a long coma and would appreciate any small boys digging me out... Moral: I hope there is no hell... for my own sake that is...

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Once upon a time there was a boy who was 16 and a girl who was 14. The guy is in year 10 and the girls is in year 9 . Alot of people think he is a pedofile. Comment your opinion.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the rabbit say to the rabbi? ...RABBITS DO NOT TALK! So then the rabbi said, "In that case you must be a hare!"

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs being pulled behind a boat? A: Skip.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Your mama's so poor, that it's hard for her to pay her bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats Brown and Sticky A) a stick

thumb_up thumb_down +21

MR MR WHO?? MR MC CANN

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have down syndrome, my favorite color is potato

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the duck eat the chicken noodle soup? The duck was told that if he ate the chicken noodle soup on Fear Factor he would win $10,000. What he failed to realize was that he forgot to sign page 16 on the episode contract and did not win any money and was sued by Campbell's soup for copyright infringement.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a Muslim driving a plane? You don't drive a plane.

thumb_up thumb_down +106

what did the clock say to the other clock? .. were both lawyers!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call something that lives in a pineapple under the sea? I don't know, but that seems like an improbable circumstance.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: Whats black, white and red all over? A: not me

thumb_up thumb_down +10

a black guy and a squirrel get hit on two different roads. whats is the difference? there are swerve marks by the squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops