Why wasn't Susie happy? because she was raped by her grandfather.

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How many plumbers does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Plumbers don't do that. Electricians do.

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A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it. "I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

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Do you know what's funny about the holocaust? Nothing, it was an unspeakably evil act by a deranged man who should never have been given the power to command a nation

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked

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Q: What's Funnier than a baby spinning around a pole at 300 MPH? A: Stopping it with a shovel.

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Presidents are black Rappers are white Welcome to 2011

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what's worse than being chased by a turtle? being chased by an angry turtle

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What do you call black people in a pool? Healthy

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog. Instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What do you call a sandwich that has sandwich on it? A sandwich.

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What do you call it when a black guy is talking to a white guy? A conversation.

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what is differnt about a boyscout and a jew? the boyscout comes back from camp

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? To get to the other side!

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So I'm balls deep in this turkey dinner....... then i proceed to ejaculate into it and ruin my family's Thanksgiving along with their perception of me.

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Three blondes are stranded on an island. They all die from starvation.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Whats a frogs favorite year? 2009!

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Why did the girl go fishing? Because she was the bait

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How do you know when a ghost is lying? I don't know because I've never met one, so from personal experience I couldn't tell you.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Someone threw a hippo at the pilot.

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What do you call a horse with bread on its ears? Boris, because that's his name.

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A man walks into a bar. He says "ouch".

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What did Hitler say to the Jew? I don't know, I don't speak German.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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