What did the apple say to the banana. Nothing fruits cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

If you have me you want to share me, if you share me you no longer have me. What am I? (a secrect)

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what's red and smells like blue paint? im color blind

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

thumb_up thumb_down -4

You idiot thats 9 letters

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Pop Fiction last words. guess who edition: "Okay okay you win again Batman! Ahahaha hohohoho hehehehe! Wanna hear a new jo... Eh... what are you doing with that gun?" "Why did I not just take a step or two to the side during the five hours and over thirty episodes he kept charging that Kamehameha?" "Bah I cannot die as long as my ego is full! Are these really the ratings on my latest game? H0moerotic? Childish? A sociopath? Oh man..." Moral: Your red thumbs cannot hurt me! Im the moralmanBitch! HOAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Moves Like AJgger- Marron 5

thumb_up thumb_down +79

A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the man stop dead in his tracks? He was on top of a land mine.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

biggest lie in the world. I love you grandma.

thumb_up thumb_down +123

Why are leprechauns so happy? The grass tickles their balls

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock. Who's there? Not Heath Ledger.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

a man walks into a bar and it hurts

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is red and tastes like parsley? Red Parsley

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How did Hitler like his steaks? He didn't like steaks, he was a vegetarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Easy, you get a phone with a recorder that rather than playing a "please leave a message after the tone", plays the same tune as if the phone was still not picked up. Now tell me here and now, because I wont waste more time on you, what part did you play in this? Jenny Chatterton? Another one of your pseudonyms? What the fuck did you think would happen? You live in the Uk, london, so, tell me everything, or I will share every single detail here.

thumb_up thumb_down

Good boy

thumb_up thumb_down -7

DEAD ON KANE ITS BEEN ALL YOU ABD CAOIMHIN

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Did you here about the guy who kidnapped Liam Neeson's daughter? Well, he died

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops