Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is life? It is a sexually transmitted disease which always ends in death. There is currently no known cure.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the biggest lie you've ever told? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why couldn't the black guy vote? He was only 17.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why didn't Johnny go to the party? He was aborted as a fetus

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish, who had a horrible accident with a fishing hook

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why is six scared of seven? Because seven is in his house with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is black and hangs from a white supremacists tree? His kids tire swing.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the little boy fall of his swing? Some one killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry Potter escapes the chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down -102

What did the German say to the Jew? Sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two weeks ago, my brother walked into a flea market and asked if they sold fleas. He's so silly.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did jimmy win the lottery? WAFFLE

thumb_up thumb_down +8

roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you get when you cross a stream with a prostitute? A wet hooker.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why do black people play basketball? Because they can join their friends in playing an extremely fun and calorie-burning sport.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why'd the duck cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

After visiting the dentist, Ke$ha had sixteen cavities because brushing your teeth with bottles of jack causes plaque to build up.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

My pet rock died.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

If there are 500 bricks in an airplane and one falls out how many are there in he plane? 499. Name 3 steps to get a Elephant in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2. Put the Elephant in the fridge 3. Close the fridge Name 4 steps to get an Deer in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2.Take the Elephant out of the fridge 3. Put the Deer in the fridge 4. Close the fridge The Lion King is having a birthday party. Every animal came, besides one. Who was it? The Deer. Because hes trapped in the Fridge. The Deer manages to escape the fridge, and hes running late. he encounters Crocodile lake. How will he cross it? He will swim through it because the Crocodiles are at the Lion Kings birthday. Then suddenly, The Deer dies. How? The Brick hit him.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What happened to the guy that got hit by a bus. He died

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops