An elephant walks in to a dry cleaners and asks the Chinese man behind the counter for the price of cleaning two shirts. The man replies, "$3.00."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

There was a screwdriver and a spoon. What did the screwdriver say to the spoon? Nothing because neither of them are living objects and it is impossible for inanimate objects to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why cant kellen heller drive? She was born with the disabilities of being blind and deaf, thus rendering her unable to operate a vehichle.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's blue and rhymes purple? Get Out

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why cant Stevie Wonder read? Because he is blind

thumb_up thumb_down -25

whats funnier than the boy with no arms and legs getting cancer? lebron playing basketball

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

hey i just met you and this is crazy... but loose my number and keep the baby LOL

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What did the priest say to the small child. A: Rite?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man walks into a bar... "Ouch"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

An Italian, a Mexican, and an American all stand in one room. The Italian throws pasta out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country." The Mexican throws a taco out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country." The American throws a burger out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I like the way he thinks. Too bad he has alzheimers.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a horse with no eyes? A horse with no eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A guy asks, "Why was my mom in your bed?" The other guy replies, "Because your mom has a mental disease which inhibits her ability to process thought."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms; *knock knock*, Who's There? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the gitl fail her cooking class? Because she was abused and severely beaten by her teacher

thumb_up thumb_down -16

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why didn't you hit the little mexican boy riding a bike? - it's probably was not your bike and it would have been against the law if you did so it was the kind thing to do -AHW

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was Martin Luther King Jr. Shot? Because he was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is worse than writing a really terrible joke on anti-joke.com? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops