Q. why did the plane crash? A. because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Yo mama so fat when she went to the ocean the whales started to sing we are family even though your fatter than me

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How do you know if you have athlete's foot? You ask your doctor, and he will tell you.

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A man goes to a doctor to check about an itch on his testicles. Turns out it was just a rash and is promptly prescribed medication and it clears up in a week.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken had no legs and was therefore incapable of committing to such a challenge.

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Why did the baby duck cry? Because his family just got ran over by a truck

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its all aodhan

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A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles roll ed into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’ The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.The students laughed.. ‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things—-your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—-and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.. The sand is everything else—-the small stuff. ‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn. Take care of the golf balls first—-the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand. One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented. The professor smiled.... And than he shove all the items up his ass

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Why did Hitler kill so many Jews? Because he didn't like them.

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Q:When a T- Rex walks into your house what does it mean? A: Your on pot, T-rex's are extinct

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Why does history repeat itself? Because no one listened to it the first time.

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A Jewish man died in a car crash. His family mourned his death throughout the next few years.

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Where do 4 Mexicans in a car go? In the Car Pool lane.

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Wanna hear a hot headed retard? call and listen carefully 6196342668

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What do you call two gays with small dicks? Trace and Jacob

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was something of interest on the other side.

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Why did susy give up in the corner? Cause she couldnt fight off the black man.

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Why do cows have tails? Because my pet rock stopped breathing.

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What's read,bubbly and looks out the window? A baby in a microwave

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Mohamed is driving a taxi to the airport at 20mph How many pounds of explosives are strapped to his chest?

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what did the schizophrenic get for his birthday? new friends

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What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Finding a half-eaten worm in your apple.

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Why did the black guy buy watermelon? It was on sale.

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Why do u call a book a book??? Cause it is a book!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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