what's worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding an apple in your pet worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

An anteatter walks into a bar, the bar tender says "hey renee zellweger"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

thumb_up thumb_down -1

YO momma is so fat she suffers from cardiovascular illnesses.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

my aunt Always used to say"go with the flow" she died in a kayak accident last Sunday

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the man do when he went to the toilet went toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the boy let go of his red ballon? Because he was hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the mormon walk into a bar? He didn't. Mormons don't drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

There was this land of cheerios. The regular cheerios were the poor ones, the honey nut cheerios were middle class but loved to party, and the frosted cheerios were very wealthy. So there was a young regular cheerio named paul who really had a crush on this frosted cheerio girl named sophia. He liked her so much, that he finally got the courage to ask her out. Shyly he asked her "do you want to go to prom with me" she said "no i only date frosted cheerios". Paul understood and went back to his house dissapointed. The next day Paul went to the doctor and he asked for an operation to make him a frosted cheerio. Since he wasn't very wealthy he could only afford an opperation that would make him a half cheerio. He decided it will do. The next day he approched sophia and asked "will you go to prom with me now" she said "sorry i only date full frosted cheerios" The next day paul went back to the doctor and convinced his parents to lend him some money to become a full frosted, so thats what he did. The next day he asked her out and she finnally said yes. A few days later they went to the prom together that was hosted by the honey nut cheerios. Sophia asked paul for some brownies so paul said sure and waited on the brownie line for quite a long time. He brought her the brownie and thought he was very nice for waiting on line for so long. Then she asked for some fruit punch. Paul looked around and around, until he realized there was no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

whats the difference between a brick wall and a jew? jews wear yamakas

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what do you call a kid with no arms and legs under a bus an ambulance, he's obviously in pain

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

John Travolta went to a seafood disco last week.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

thumb_up thumb_down -42

A dog walks into a bar. The bartender asks the dog "what will ya have?" The bartender is then recognized as The Dog Whisperer

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Your momma's so fat, people make jokes about her.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock. Whose there? ..............

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey wahy did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? because it had no arms why did the little girl fall off her bike? she got hit by three monkeys and a refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down +133

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops