Roses are red, Violets are violet. You guys really suck at making poems...

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Why was the chair sad? It wasn't, for chairs do not posses the proper attributes to feel emotions such as depression.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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WHAT DO YOU CALL MEXICANS IN A HOT TUBE BOILED BEANS (; NO RACIAL

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What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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a ghost walks into a bar and sais BOO! The bartender then yelded AAAAHHH! and died of a hart attack.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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What do you do after a murder kills your entire family? Nothing, he killed you too

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Knock Knock Who's there? Xiao Kaan Xiao kaan who? Fu*k you ugly lauuhhh

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My brother found snow in his hair from last year... only people who know me know this joke!!haha -sopie

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's better if you don't understand

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What is white, long, and thin? A tablecloth

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why didnt the boys drink the coffee? because she coughed on it

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How do you stop a plane? Throw flying birds at it.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face.

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WHERE WAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENTENTS AT THE BOTTEM!!!

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Why didn't the boy cross the road? Because there was traffic moving at high speed and he didn't want to be paralyzed from the waist down

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tw10xa_xtNg

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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Ah dead on it was all Taggart!!!

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What did the jew say to the black man? I'm jewish

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa you set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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