I went to the zoo the other day there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu. By Nathan Luque CARROTS!!!

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What did the mother say to her son? Nothing, she was dead.

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What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

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What do you do if you walk in on your wife atempting to hang herself in the living room? Ask her to leave the living room, as it would be ironic.

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What's worse than finding out your dad has AIDS? Finding out your little brother also has it, but you and your mother don't.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? A watermelon is edible.

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Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

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Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Stephen Hawking raped your mom

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I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free

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What do you get when you hit a deer? A dead deer, which you should probably take home to eat - wouldn't want it to go to waste.

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How many cops does it take to change a lightb- [Beaten to death by cops]

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There was a black man a Spanish man and an Asian in the back of a police car. The end

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff.

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Why wasn't the rabbit elgible to vote? Because rabbits aren't human beings, and only humans are allowed to vote.

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What is the square root of 69? 8.30662386

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Your dad is so fat, that eventually he got on Biggest Loser and ended living a very successful life.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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Two men walk into a bar. You would think at least one of them would've seen it.

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How many Jew can you fit in a car? As many as the car seats comfortably.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? That would depend on the individual situation at hand and to assume you could accurately estimate that is ridiculous.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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