Q: When do you know you've had to much to drink? A: When the zebra in your belly button starts talking to you

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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When does a blond laugh and cry? When she's raped by a clown.

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how did the family die? They were shot in the head.

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A giant meteor will hit the earth tomorrow.What do you do? Tell everyone I told you so.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Easter? Hepatitis.

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Q.) What do you call a black man on the moon? A.) An astronaut.

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How do you save the world in 2012? You aren't. 2012 isn't going to happen!

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? Me :'(

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How do you know that you tv has been stolen? It's no longer there.

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What is a black guy's favorite hobby? Stamp collecting.

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why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? because he was hit by the planes that hit twin towers

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A Rabbi walks into a bar. He payed for his drinks, tipped the bar tender, drank a few too many so he got a cab home.

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A king's son's birthday came one day and the king asked what he wanted. "You can have anything in the world son." He would say. The prince answered,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." So for his birthday he got a rollar costar, a new car, a water park, a castle, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. The same answer went out of his mouth for three years. One day the prince was driving in his car, and he got into a terrible car accadent. And while he was in the ER and saying his last words, his father asked,"Son, before you die, i must know, why did you want purple ping pong balls for your all of those birthdays?" And the prince said,"Well I wanted them because-" and then he died.

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George: I see you got a haircut. Jim: No, I got them all cut.

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what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

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if x marks the spot, what does y do? y does the laundry.

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How do you get an Irishman out of a bar? You politely ask him to leave.

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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Why did little Suzy fall down? She got shot.

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What's the difference a black person and a park bench? A park bench is a object and a black person is human.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

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why did the Mexican eat a octopus because he was hungry would die if he didn't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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