Is every Voltorb a terrorist?

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What do dogs and whales have in common? They both live in the ocean. Apart from the dog.

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How many kids with A.D.D. does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride?

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Q: Why Cant The T-Rex Clap? A: No, Its Not Because His arms are to short, Its because he's Dead You Idiot...

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What's wrong with the axe murderer that lives down the street?? Nothing.

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A man and a woman are alone, the man holds her down and says I'm going to rape you! The woman replies I'm not into that and leaves unharmed

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Why didn't the boomerang return? It hit a baby

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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all fall on a small boy below, putting him into a 20-year coma.

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A young boy asks his father if there will be cake at the party. The father tells him there won't be and tells him to f*ck off.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a baleen whale walk into a bar. The priest says, "Well I believe Jesus Christ is the only begotten son of God and my lord and savior, so I'll have some communion wine." The rabbi says, "Well I don't believe the messiah has yet walked the earth, so I'll have Manischewitz wine." The baleen whale says "EEEEEEOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNHHHHHHHHHH"

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally becase she fell off the swing.

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What's the difference between above job and below job? Below job sucks

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Q. What did the Cat say to the Dog? A. "These humans are so jobless.."

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What did the Sony guy say when he hit the golf ball? PS FOUR!

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So, this guy walks into the doctor's and says: "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor says: "Yes, you've shattered both your kneecaps. You'll never walk again."

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Why don't women need watches? Because they have clocks on their cell phones because they have jobs outside of the house and are INDEPENDENT WOMEN! MEN DO NOT DEFINE THEM!

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Wanna know something funny? Your face

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1 + 1 = 11 Just kidding, it's 2 you moron.

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Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Where is Sally hiding? She was kidnapped and has probably been murdered, I lied about her hiding.

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Why did the girl put on make-up and perfume? Because she was ugly and smelled bad.

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What do you call a black scuba diver... A scuba diver.

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why was one black guy surrounded by ten white guys...... he was a story teller.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care what a chicken thinks?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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