A guy walks into a bar. After only 10 minutes, he leaves. The bar closes in 10 minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a puppy with one eye, one ear, and one leg? An ugly mother f*cker.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

"What starts with F and ends with a K?" "firetruck?" "no, f u c k"

thumb_up thumb_down +50

How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats Big, black, and in your moms underwesar? A snake that escaped from a pet store which is causing a lot of commotion in the local community. Meanwhile your mom is getting drilled by a big psycho who escaped the mental institution. JMM

thumb_up thumb_down -24

So, same time tomorrow then?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Kid: knock knock Orphan: whos there? Kid: not your parents

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Violets are red Roses are blue I scrrewed that up Now can i screw you?

thumb_up thumb_down

I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

split your ass cheek

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q: Why was the chicken waterboarded? A: Because the guy liked being cruel to animals.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a man with an Eye patch and no arms? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Knock Knock Who's there? UPS UPS who? UPS, your package is here.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

this is a joke

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for easter AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call an asian who celebrates Christmas? A christan

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than the common cold? The Plague.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What does a chicken get for Christmas? A trip to the processing plant.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Helen Keller always ride in the passenger seat? so she could SUCK THE DRIVERS D!CK!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock, Knock. Who's there Hey, it's Dave. Oh well come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWERWHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWERWHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops