Q: What's worse than school? A:Your mum dying

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What did the caterpillar say to the robot? Nothing. Caterpillars do not have vocal chords and there are not, as yet, any truly portable robots capable of comprehending speech so to speak to one would be pointless.

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Why did the girl drop her sucker? she was hit by a truck!

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David: Hey dude, I'm so hungry! Jose: Yeah me too David: Wanna get some food? Jose: No, I lied.

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Roses are red Violets are tits I like tits Tits

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Why cant penguins fly? because they cant

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A chemist and his buddy walk into a bar. The chemist, trying to sound smart, says, "I would like a glass of H20." The buddy, being a normal person who actually cares if he looks like an idiot, asks for plain water.

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How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

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What's a worse feeling than an upset stomach? Seeing a child getting molested and not saying anything.

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Q:What happened when the bear walked into the bar? You cannot answer because you were seriously injured by the bear.

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Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

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What's the difference between a black girl and a white girl? Nipple color

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What do you get when you cross an alligator and a kangaroo? Nothing. An alligator is a reptile and a kangaroo is a mammal, therefore it is impossible for them to breed.

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Why doesn't it rain on Sundays? It does.

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? because they know how to run shoot and steal

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Jerry Sandusky walks into an Under 21

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what is the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs away. One cow looks round a bit, eats some grass and then wanders off.

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wanna hear a joke womens rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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