What did Winnie the Pooh say to Eeyore? Nothing, he just suffocated him in a pot of honey.

q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it doesn't matter because he got hit by a bus before he could even make it.

Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

Why did the man and woman have sex? To have a good time, but the man's condom failed and they ended up with a deformed baby because they were brother and sister. Those are your parents. Enjoy

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

A drunk guy walks into a bar. A blind man walks into the same bar.

What do you call a guy who has no experience flying a plane? Suicidal

A woman walked into a college.....which wasn't suprising because she never learned to read

What do you call a blond british girl a blond britishngirl

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

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I really don't care how you dress at my funeral, I'll be dead!

Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

whats red and and has 202 legs? an ostrich, ok i lied about 200 legs and the red part

A pregnant woman goes to the hospital to deliver a baby. It is born perfectly normal and healthy, the doctor looks at the mother and father offering them congratulations as he hands them a 9 lb 10 oz baby boy. The mother wanted a girl, but she instead develops post part em depression. She goes through years of psychotherapy to again become well adjusted, her second child is a girl.

Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

If Mormonism is true, and Mitt Romney becomes a god, what will that make him? Romniopotent.

What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

Why did the man start crying? Because he lost his job.

I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

What do old people really like? Anal sex.

What is worse than Justin Bieber? Well, 1. Deforestation 2. Hurricanes 3. Diabetes 4. Mass Murder ....and probably much more.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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