what's the hardest part about microwaving a baby? holding the camera and masturbating

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Who won the fight of two black guys and a white guy? A: The black and white guy because two is better than one.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

me and joey are going to watch the football game, at this point you relize you shouldn't hang out with joey and the other guy because it is joey and I not me and joey

thumb_up thumb_down

Man walks into a bar and pauses: at the other end of the bar, there's this guy with a big orange head. Just kind of sitting there, mooning into his drink. So the man asks the bartender, "Say, what's up with the guy with the big orange head?" And the bartender says, "It's an interesting story. Buy him a drink and maybe he'll tell it to you." So the man walks over and introduces himself and offers to buy a round. The guy with the big orange head says, "Yeah, I'll bet you want to know the story, huh?" To which the man replies, "Sure, if you don't mind." The man with the big orange head sighs and says, "You know, I've gone over it in my mind a million times. Basically, it's like this: I was walking along the beach one day, when I stubbed my toe on something. I looked down, and there was an antique brass lamp. I picked it up and dusted it off a little -- when all of a sudden this enormous genie pops out! "The genie thundered, 'You have released me from my ten-thousand year imprisonment, and I am in your debt. I will grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude.' The man at the bar is agape. The guy with the big orange head continues: "So I said, 'Wow, okay. Well, my first wish is to be fantastically wealthy.' "The genie says, 'Your wish is granted.' And all of a sudden I have rings on my fingers and a crown on my head, and my wallet is full of money and a dozen ATM cards and the deed to a mansion in the hills -- I mean, I was loaded! "So I said, 'Amazing! Okay, for my next wish , I want to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world.' "The genie says, 'Your wish is granted.' And the ocean parts, and out walks this gorgeous woman in this beautiful dress, and she takes my hand and we fall in love and the genie marries us right there. It was incredible. "The genie booms, 'You have one wish remaining.'" The man with the big orange head pauses and sips his beer. He says, "Now, you know, this may be where I went wrong. I wished for a big orange head.

thumb_up thumb_down +6,199

What did the White guy say to the balck guy? "How are you?"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do a turtle and an eagle have in common? They can both fly. Except for the turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

YOU

thumb_up thumb_down -3

So a Mexican a Jew and a Philippino walk across the street What Happened? the border patrol shot them

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Dane Cook makes a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What do is it called when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A: Why give it a name when it is never goin to happen!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what did tyrone want for Christmas? A dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the Leah say to the Pawneez? AWWWW YEAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A black man walks into a bar He looks at the menu and realizes he's in a bar, so he leaves

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why do asian people eat each other? because they are cannibles

thumb_up thumb_down +44

I can prove I'm a psychic - this post is going to receive a lot of dislikes.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's funnier than 24? Nothing, 24 is just a number. There's is nothing humorous about it. Go away.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you catch a baby with? A pitchfork

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A Rabbi, A Priest and an Imam walk into a bar. The Imam doesn't order a drink because it is strictly against his religious beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walked into a haunted house and screamed. He had stepped on a nail.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops