don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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What did little Jimmy say when he met God ? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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Why does an elephant lay on it's back with its feet in the air? To trip birds.

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Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her statement.

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How many Jews does it take to fix a gas leak?...

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Wanna hear an inside joke? Cancer.

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OMG, I have a really funny alzheimer's joke. Your'e gonna love it! Uhh, I umm kinda forgot what it was now.

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A Black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Who is driving? The black guy. Its his car.

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.... Take my wife..... .... She is lovely....

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

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Jim has five apples. He gives two apples to Joe. What is left? Fruit

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Yo Mama is so white, people call her caucasian.

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why did the plumber start to cry? his family died

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Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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A man walks into a bar so how many Jews were there when a man called Wellard ate a pizza. Balloons

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Q: What did one dog say to the other dog? A: "Bitch!"

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What's purple and has four wheels? A frog, except for the purple and four wheels part.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks the duck "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck and it can't talk.

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What is it worse than a bee sting ? -Two bee stings What 's worse than two bee stings ? -The holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust ? -3 bee stings

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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