Why did the blond crave hotdogs for breakfast? She was likely suffering a sodium deficiency from violently throwing up the night before.

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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how do you get a 1 armed moron out of a tree? you wave

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What would you find if you shaved chuck norris's beard? A chin.

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What do you call a goose with no arms? A goose

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint your self green and throw forks at her.

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars except the duck.

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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Why did the black man get drenched by a fire hose because he was on fire

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Q: How many years does it take for a deer to grow into a moose? A: 7

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A man runs into a psychiatrist's office and screams, "You gotta help me doc! I just killed seven people in my office building!"

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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A seal walks into a club, It proceeds to maul customers and then makes its way back to the ocean where it lives.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle

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Your mom is so...wonderful.

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So Helen Keller walked into a bar... and then a chair.... and then a table..

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i hate you.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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What do you get if you cross a Black Man with a Knife? Stabbed.

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An elderly lady walks into a grocery store, and nothing of a great significance happens.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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yo mamas so ugly.... everyone died. the end.

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What do you call a man with no eyes or ears? - Deaf and Blind.

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Why can't Sally ride a bike? Because Sally's a fish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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