So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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Why did the boy stay in the closet? Because the door was locked.

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Whats blue and smells like grass? Boise States football field

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if your mother was put in a situation where she could either have sex with a man or a woman she would pick the woman

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one. Any more than that and they would just be getting in each others way.

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How many arabs can fit in a 2007 honda accord? legally up to 5

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Why does Bugs Bunny have big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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what happens when you jump of a cliff usually you die

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Why did the baby cry? His dad was holding him upside down over a fire.

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Q: What do you get when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Don't worry, I'm not as random as you think I salad

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "i have aids."

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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3 guys are in a car crap manners and shut up.shut up is driving and crape falls out the window so manners goes and gets him. A cop pulls over shut up.he goes what's your name son?shut up.where's your manners boy?over there picking up crape.

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Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son was captured by a sexual predator, and your daughter tried to run from them, and now she's under the wheels of the bus going round and round.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting yours asshole clawed by a grizzly

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

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Poop

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A White and a Chinese got in a fight, who won? None. The fight was unable to begin because a color is not a living organism.

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If you give a mouse a cookie... you're destroying their natural diet.

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Why was the Black man running with a T.V.? Because he had just purchased a new LCD FlatScreen from BestBuy, and a torrential downpour had just began and he didn't have a free hand to hold up his umbrella.

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights.

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How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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