Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met you

Knock knock whos there punctuation

What's tall black and has curly hair? A black guy

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fish, just because it has a disability it doesn't mean you can treat it any differently

What is the Question to Life, the Universe, and Everything? 43 - 1 = ?

What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

A flea walks into a bar. Nobody notices because it is a very small insect

Q: Where does the queen of england live? A: This was the question I had to anwser to be able to post this joke.

A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

Why did the little girl fail her test? She had mental retardation.

What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

Who went shopping on Saturday? There is a reason I put a question mark there, so you guys could reply. Not so I could respond myself.

Black...

A man walks into a car dealership. The salesman was nice and he bought a Mercedes.

What did the black guy say to the white guy running off the cliff? Watch out! You're running off a cliff!

Speaker 1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Speaker 2: Why? Speaker 1: Every member of your immediate, nuclear, and extended family simultaneously contracted Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) while being beaten, maimed, raped, tortured, and molested by a deranged serial killer during the sinking of the Titanic, eventually bleeding to death and allowing child rapists to eat their dead bodies.

what do a plum and a rabbit have in common? there both purple except for the rabbit

that wall over there ->

A horse goes to the mall and when he is in the checkout line there is a man at the cash register the man at the cash register says "Why the long face?" and the horse replies "hey buddy, watch it!!!!!!!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...