Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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A couple arrive at a Halloween party for nudists. Then they enjoy the themed decor and food.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms or legs. Knock knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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What Does Alex J Simpsons Face have in Common with his hand? Spaghetti

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Q: what did i say when i crashed into the twin tower. A: nothing i was dead

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what do you call a woman that didnt make you a sandwich? An ambulance

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On a plane directed to Buffalo there are: an italian, a french and a greek. They all go there for tourism

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Knock knock Who's there? A Jehovahs Witness

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man:"gullible is written on the celling" boy looks up

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You know what's funny? Clowns.

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hey John will you make some copies

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Why aren't elephants allowed in public pools? Because they are elephants.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Llama. Llama who? Llamas aren't racist unlike that bastard Ann Coulter. That's why they can get a carrot up the ass and she can't.

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Q: which of the following is a prime number? A: 17

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I know 7 facts about you: 1. You're reading this. 2. You hate this overused shit. 3. You may think I will skip a number. 5. And you hate me much more. 6. You have seen porn. 7. You want me to kill myself. I am just gonna go suicide.

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How do you lose your train of thought? You can't. It is impossible to fit a full size locomotive in the human skull.

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Q-Whos the best server at Sonic? A-Kevin !

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So you are "The Nero" are you not? How ironic... ...I got nothing on you, let me ask you however, why did you quit the underground society? What changed your lifestyle so much? I mean I accept that you did not do it out of fear or cowardice, but why did you leave it up to the rest of us to try to hold together the last remains of freedom and social information? What? To use your techniques in order to entrance people into buying your books? How is that so different? I am not saying that I consider your methods lesser, because nobody here does, but if you can explain how this makes you better, I would appreciate it, I am certain that most people would.

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What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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Someone thinks Justin Bieber is strait

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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