Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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You've got more chins than a Chinese... Girl with a lot of chins, because she's so fat

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what did the clock say to the other clock? .. were both lawyers!

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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27

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Why is a chicken coupe, a coupe not a sedan? Because a sedan would have four doors.

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Why did the toddler fall in the pool? He was irresponsibly left unattended outside and tripped on the edge of the pool. He died within two minutes and his parents were blamed for his death.

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The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

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dylan wishes he could come up with funny jokes. but that is impossible for a man trying to bat with a .5inch ****

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Why couldnt jim jump rope? His feet were nailed to the ground.

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What's long and really hard? The fourth grade.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant scorpion.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? They were my friends.

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Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.

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whats red and hard to eat a brick.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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What is a five letter word that sounds just like trucks? Vroom

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What's old and has wet pants? My grandma with a bladder problem

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What do you get when you cross 3 men and a chainsaw? Answer: 2 and a half men

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What's more annoying than dyslexic jokes? Jokes were peopel spel words rong.

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What's funnier than the holocaust? Just about everything seeing how the holocaust is not a funny event, but rather enormous tragedy.... Assholes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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