Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

I went to the doctor & he gave only 6 months to live. I told him I couldn't pay my bill, he said "that doesn't change the fact you're going to die soon."

How do you make a white girl commit suicide? Bully her.

A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

Ted: Joe, do you think I'm dumb? Joe: No, I think you're Ted.

Whats worse than a pile of dead baby's? Being raped by a giant scorpion. Well that escalated quickly. Also i'm gonna call the cops.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Why did the child not go to his mother's funeral? He was adopted, he didn't know his real mom.

Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

Friends are like trees. They fall down when you hit them with an ax.

What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican? The bench can support a family.

What happened to the chicken that crossed the road. It got hit by a fridge.

Your mama is so fat she suffered from diabetes and died of heart failure .

No.

Why did the slut have white stuff on her mouth? Because she just ate ice-cream.

Why is my penis so damn small? Cause the good lord made me that way

ewrg

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, but I'm late for work.

Whats the difference between a rabbit an a eagle? They both fly except for the rabbit

What is big, long, hot, and firm? An erection due to the arousal of a woman's sex appeal.

Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A. From a catalogue.

Where do 4 Mexicans in a car go? In the Car Pool lane.

What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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