Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas. A: A bicycle.

A man walks into a shop and picks up some items for his party. He walks out of the shop without paying for the items. The police are promptly called and the man receives a 4 year sentence in prison for shoplifting.

Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

What trees do fortune tellers look at? Whichever variety of species are indigenous to where they live.

How do you make a bull angry? Light it on fire

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

Q:: when artificial intelligence takes over the planet, what will become of anti-joke.com? A:: idk, but my cousin's girlfriend and I will get naked together and she will get on top of me and tell me I'm awesome and that my d*ck feels really good inside her. you see by the time AI takes over, the means to create virtual reality experiences will be greatly enhanced.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares

How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

Whats less comfortable than a metal bench? The trunk of a car when you're being abducted.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because while he was swinging, his friends dared him to jump off and called him a chicken when he didn't. Still hesitant, he tried to jump off, but his arm caught on the swing chain and he fell face first into the tanbark. He needs reconstructive surgery to repair his face.

what do you do when you see a black man punching a girl? act like you dont see it and get the hell out of harms way

What is bad at catch The twin towers

A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroy his family and career.

How to confuse a dumbass: see next post.

What happens when batman jumps off the top of a building? His fake wings fails and he dies upon impact of the ground.

So I was talking dirty to this deaf chick right...She didn't hear me.

What happens when you throw a blue rock into red water? It gets wet...

YOU

Q: "What did the blueberry say to the cheesecake?" A: "I'm not your friend anymore!"

What do you call it one an Arab and a Jew get married? Love.

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why did the iraqi woman bury her wedding ring in the ground? because it's the only way she could properly pay respect to the death of her husband who recently died in a group suicide bombing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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