A man with a broken arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I broke my arm, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper doesn't respond because he is a grasshopper and therefore can't talk.

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There are no stupid Questions just stupid people

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Roses are red violets are blue ice-cream is yummy can I eat you

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One time i was in north philly and bought milk, then i came home and drank it.

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Yo momma's so fat and thank god because I'm a chubby chaser.

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Roses are black, Violets are black Everything is black I can't see

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what is a jews favorite holiday? the halocaust.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Get in the van.

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my uncle used to tickle me.. he's in prison for child abuse

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Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's alright now.

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Do you know what would happen if you were to like this Anti-Joke? ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... I would get another like.

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yesterday i saw a man walking down the street with no legs. just kidding.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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What do you call the people that ride on the upper level of a double decker bus? Passengers.

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I killed someone today. :D

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Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?

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How did the happy clown die? Testicular Cancer.

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What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

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Seeing you happy is what makes me happy Nero, it has always been this way.

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What's red and green And moves at 300mph A frog in a blender

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? Kill it

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i like candy and other things that are edible... please dont thumbs down just cuz this suxxx just put thumbs up and santa claus will haunt u :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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