Knock knock. Come in. Okay.

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What did james say on his bitrhday? There was no birthday because he was aborted but he said ''crunch'' anyway

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

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Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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why was the cream sad? he was frozen and turned into a popular dessert

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Why couldn't Horton hear a who? He was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills.

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I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

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What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

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How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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Why did the black kid fail in school? Because of the achievement gap.

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69

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What do you call a bunch of black people in a red car.... A jaffa

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What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A salad, hes on a diet

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Q:Wanna know a funny joke? A:Womens Rights

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why was the blonde sad? Her phone was broken due to an NNEMP.

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there were 2 sausages in a frying pan. One sausage says it sure is hot in here. The other one says WTF a talking sausage!

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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person 1. Did you here about the black guy who went to college? person 2.no person 1. either have i whats ironic is that they are both black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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