If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do democrats and fire have in common? They both do damage

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did the baby stop crying his mother killed him with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why didn't the boy respond to the text? His phone had run out of charge.

thumb_up thumb_down +140

What do Texans call cows? Cows. Calling them almost anything else would be utterly illogical.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

 

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What's green and looks like a red truck? A green truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did justin fuck alice and maliyah to have fun

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a gay Mexican guy who is deaf, has no arms, no legs, and is bald? Whatever his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why is Cindy crying? She got a branch stuck in her eye which irritated her sensitive cornea so her tear duct produced a tear to help shed the material from her eye.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Tyler: Hey, James if you were a cavemen you would die. James: Why? Tyler: Because everybody hates you.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What is brown and lives in a toilet? A black homeless man

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A. Did you hear about the circus fires? b. They were intense. (in tents)

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man drives home from a bar one night, He is under the influence and his reckless driving will costs many innocent people their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man takes his girlfriend ice skating on a lake. As they are ice skating she says "we should go back home and fu..." At this point they fall through a thin spot on the ice and they both drown in the lake. Fish ate their dead bodies

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What did the newborn dumpster baby say to the raccoon? A: Nothing. Newborn babies cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

my uncle tommy is super religious. last month he's walking down the street, he gets mugged and shot in the chest. now miraculously (and i mean miraculously), he always keeps a bible in his left chest pocket. and he had something to read as he bled to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

WHat is funnier than a baby swimming. - A baby drowing.!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops