What did the black man say while getting mauled by a jungle cat? "Help im dying", as the animal riped him peice by peice with fear in his eyes he died slowly as the jungle cat draged him back to its den helplessly he fades away and the animal eats him.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

how to u kill a baby with no arms, throw it in a pool

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats bigger than a tree A bigger tree

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How many average men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

i have alzheimer's, so i forgot the punchline to this joke

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Why didn't Jack go up the hill? A: He had prior engagements.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie into in!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two parrots were sitting on a perch. The older one turned to the younger one and said "do you smell fish?" The younger one paused for a bit, and replied "do you smell fish?" Their owner had been talking about fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +141

the battle of waterloo

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What used to be red, but isn't anymore? A scalped ginger.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says "Is it hot in here?" The other muffin says "Yes. It feels like 425 degrees."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How to make a plummer cry Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the finger say to the thumb? I'm in glove with you.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A white guy a black guy and a mexican are all on a trian. The white guy says "We should all through something off the train that we have too much of in this country." The mexican throws a sombraro of the train and says " We have too many of these in this country." The black guy throws a gun off the train and says "We have too many of these in this country." The white guy pushes the mexican off the train and says "We have too many of these in this country.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's big, an instrument, has black and white keys, and is located in the bathroom? I don't know. A piano. But why in the bathroom? Don't tell me how to furnish my house.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do a vampire and a ginger have in common they're both afraid of the sunligh- oh wait this anti jokes ohhhhhhh oh well

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

thumb_up thumb_down +40

what did the african say when he got cancer? what? i don't know, he said it in african.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the black guy get on the SATs? Who knows, that isn't a specific person

thumb_up thumb_down -15

"Knock knock" "Who's there?!, who's there?!!!, ya fucking asshole!!!, and quit knockin on my door!, my windows are fine!"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

maths is annoying!!! LIKE if you agree!!!!! :D

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops