whats the difference between colby and a high schooler? Colby hasn't matured yet

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Why are Asian people bad drivers? Coincidental cases of blurred vision.

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babe whos moaning? are you with another woman? guy:god damn if you would stay in the kitchen we would never have any problems.

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Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the cat cross the road? He thought he would make it to the other side, but instead was hit by a mini van and soon after died in the bushes from internal bleeding.

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What killed the cat? Feline Leukemia

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender asks "What'd you want?" the duck responds "A miller lite please" promptly after that the bartender was tested for mental insanity because he thinks ducks can talk.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What's worse then getting kicked in the face by Chuck Norris? A: Nothing

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because horses do not comprehend English. He then becomes startled by his surroundings and bolts out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Whats cold and frozen? ice

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Why didn't the girl get on the school bus? It was Sunday.

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What does a black kid get from Christmas? a blunt

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Bat-mobile? - "Robin, get in the Bat-mobile"

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How many rats does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But they have to be really small.

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Roses are red, violets are blue No they're not, violets are violet

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A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

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There are 2 muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says "Damn, it's getting hot in here." The other muffing replies "Holy Shit! A Talking Muffin!"

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what do you call a black man in the dark? missing.

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Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

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How do you become a multi-trilionere? Get bored...

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Your moma is so fat, that Jabba the Hutt says: "Damn!!!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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