How are baseball and the holocaust similar? They're both games, except for the holocaust

21

A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation.

What do you get when you cross a black man and a mule. Arrested.

knock knock, whos there? billy i dont know who you are, please get away from my front door before i call the authorities

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

What did one cow say to the other cow? Nothing. Cows do not possess the ability to speak.

What did the transvestite say to the hypochondriac? "Ever been to Toledo?"

How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

The following is neither a joke or anti-joke. It's a brainteaser. It's called the Monty Hall Problem. Suppose you're on a game show, and you're given the choice of three doors: Behind 1 door is a car; behind the other 2 doors are goats. You then choose a door. The host then opens another door and reveals a goat. He then says to you, "Do you want to stick with your choice or switch?" Is it to your advantage to switch your choice? The correct answer yes, switching gives you a better odds of winning. Why? There is a simple way to understand it without the mathematical demonstration. Suppose we have the three doors 1, 2 3 and the number 2 is the winner. If you choose not to change , of course the chances to win is 1/3. Now. what happens if you decide to change? The answer is that if you initially chose an incorrect door, you will always win. In the example, if you initially chose the door 1, the presenter will open door 3(because the door 2 is the winner so he can't open that door) So if you change you will win. The same happens if you initially chose door 3(the presenter will open door 1 and if you change you will win). You will only loose if you initially chose door 2(the presenter will open door 1 or 3, and when changing you will loose) So the conclusion is that if you always decide to change, if initially you have chosen ANY(and any in capital letters!) of the TWO incorrect doors you will win. So the chances when changing is 2/3.

Q. If you have 4 pencils and I have 7 apples, how many pancakes can we fit on the roof? A. Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

hold the planet Dumb ass well I'm doing something else right now dumb ass

Yo momma's so fat, that she was put in this joke

What do you call a Mexican who steals a car? A criminal.

minecraft

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

I completely thought you where bullshitting me, how come I never noticed before? How and why?

Roses are red Violets are blue Ebola is present And so are u

I rolled and evaded the bomb, I still was injured.

Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?" Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from."

Friends are just like trees. They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

Knock, Knock whos there? Jesus Jesus who? Jesus Christ

why did the tortoise cross the road? it does not matter, it got hit by a vehicle and died on impact.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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