Which is Taller ? the Giraffe or the Lion is faster ?

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what did the dead woman say the boy? I am dead.

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How do you tie your shoes underwater? In a submarine

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How did the blonde get blood on her Ipad? A terrible paper cut.

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Michael Jackson walks into a bar. Everyone runs out, screaming, "AH, a dead guy is walking!"

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A dwarf walks under a bar.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a Jew. The elephant has elephant cancer.

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why couldn't the man rock climb? he didn't have hands

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Whats similar between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Billy was taking a stroll in the forest, when suddenly he met a bear. Billy remember what his father had taught him, and quikly lied down on the ground, pretending to be dead. The bear started licking Billy's face. Still he remained calm. The bear bit off Billys finger. Still he did not move. When the bear ate Billy's foot, he nearly panicked. But thinking of his wife and children he mustered his last remaining strenght, and did not move a muscle. If he tried to run or fight the bear he would surely die and never see them again. Then the bear ate Billys head.

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Whats fuzzy and greenand if it falls from a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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What do you get when you eat all potatoes Their all gone

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If we all evolved from apes. Abbie didnt go that far

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Why wouldn't Michael J. Fox make a good Sniper? Because he has no military experience.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Whoop-dee-do.

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What did one duck say to the other? Quack.

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

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A man walks into a bar and says: "ouch!"

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What is brown and woody? Brown wood.

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What's three times More dangerous than a war? Three wars

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What does a jew to enter in a movie theater? He buys a ticket!

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Canida

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How so you find out if a black woman is pregnant? Have her take a pregnancy test

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a bus? Because she's dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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