knock knock who's there? dave dave who? dave suddenly burst into tears as his grandmothers altzimers became so serious she forgot his name

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What did Helen Keller say? Obcojbcidjbcidjbdijcbd

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Why is Blake dumb? He was in algebra one as a freshman. And his nickname is angry Blake

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Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Ethiopian food.

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Haikus are easy. but sometimes they don't make sense. refrigerator.

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Guess what? You just lost the game.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to, like any other chicken

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"This is defamation!" proclaimed the Fox, as he sat in the panels of the courtroom. "I attest, with full honesty, Your Honor, that never have I said any of the allegations the two defendants have quoted upon me." He looked with contempt at the Ylvis brothers, who sat at the other end of the room. "I say, Your Honor," he continued, "that I never, ever in my entire life, said 'Gering-ding-ding-dingerdingerding', to which I am willing to testify."

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What do you call a old guy watching little kids in a pool? a life guard

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Nickleback.

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What's green and blue, and red all over? Nothing. It if were red all over it wouldn't be green and blue.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender who recently got out of federal prison after a 20 year sentence.

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what has 52 teeth and holds back a monster? my zipper

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What's worse than finding a fly in your coffee? The holocaust. What's worse than that? Two flies in your coffee.

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What did the man say when he saw Niagra falls? Nothing, he was blind.

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What did the homeless man say to his friends? He doesn't have any friends.

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Whats white and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a fridge in a denim jacket :D

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How do you make a plumber cry You kill it's family

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So an asian man gets into a car... and drives home on the highway driving at the approximate speed of the designated speed limit while exhibiting safe driving maneuvers. He arrives home to his wife and kids and sits down for a nice dinner while having a engaging conversation about the political future of the United States and his favorite football team.

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What did Christopher Colombus say to his men before they boarded the boat to sail around the world? Get on the boat.

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How many dead lions can feed a bluejay? Bluejays don't eat dead or living lions, so this is highly improbable.

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what do a plum and a rabbit have in common? there both purple except for the rabbit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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