Why did the chicken cross the road? He actaully never did. He only made it half way before a cop issued him with an infringement notice for jaywalking.

How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

Knock Knock Who's there? A Jojobas Witness open up

If you are riding a horse, how many watermelons does it take to kill a giraffe? Platypus.

a woman votes!

I used to play Skyrim but then I took an arrow in the knee. Then, I played MW3 until I took a bullet in the elbow. And now, I'm in the hospital wondering why people keep harming me.

Knock Knock Hows there Theres no time for this you have AIDS

Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

Why was the boys dick hard? Because he stuck it in a hole in the snow.

What do you want to be when you grow up? I want to be a .... The boy didn't finish his sentence because he got hit by a fridge.

Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? Whatever their name is.

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

Holocaust jokes aren't funny. Anne Frankly, they're just out of bad taste.

Why are tootsie rolls brown? because they are....

the holocaust

She is so fast We call her Email Instead of Emily...

What did one chimney say to the other chimney. Nothing, chimneys dont talk.

whats the difference between a bird and a turtle? they can both fly but the turtle cant

What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

My grandma once told me " never trust the blacks"

Dislike this joke for a cookie However if you like this joke you dont get a cookie

How do you stop a black man from committing a crime? You throw him a basket ball.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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