Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Cheese and toast

thumb_up thumb_down +7

whats more annoying than being raped by a giant scorpian? finding out that half the anti-jokes are terrible

thumb_up thumb_down -14

three men get stranded on a island and cannibals find them and they say go find 3 fruits and come back. first guy comes back with three apples and they say we will shuve them in your rectum and if you scream we will kill you he screams he dies. second guy comes back with grapes and he laughs before they can start. and in heaven the first guy says why did you laugh and he says there voices are funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Brooklyn Nets or New Jersey Nets? Theres a difference

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Rick Perry.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why was the woman out of the kitchen? She was at her mothers funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

In Kentucky...your grandmother rapes you.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A person who doesn't know hungarian is trying to read the next sentence. Sajnos nem érti, mivel nem tud magyarul.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

knock knock whose there? it's me, Connie oh hi Connie, wont you come in? oh i was just wandering if i could borrow your scotch tape ofcourse! one moment please. no problem. say, hows phil been? oh he's great, he just got a new job! here's your scotch tape! thank you so much! ....................... what a perfect scene. It is very unfortunate, though, for as Connie walked away from the family whom she borrowed the tape from, a car came by and with a single strike, killed her. this proves that nothing is perfect.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was 2 afraid of 81? Because seven eight nine.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A duck walks into a bar.... Duck: Can I have a glass of water? Bartender: How would you like to pay for it? Duck: Put it on my bill

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A Black man and an Asian man are at a bar. They have a few drinks and then leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You know what happens when you assume? You base a conclusion on insufficient information.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do flowers and people have in common? They both die.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Who has, there are like... Well actually I might have watched them all, downloaded them in a torrent... A LEGAL torrent of course... NOT. Well, you get a hint, it looks a lot like Mickey Mouse, and its a trick question since Mickey Mouse was not actually drawn by Disney, so yeah.

thumb_up thumb_down

If push pops give life a push, Then isn't your mailbox purple?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Too bad I don't have one.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

So a guy is playing jeopardy and decides to choose the category "Therapist." so he tells the host, "I'll take the rapist for 200."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Your momma so stupid, she dropped out of school at a young age of 12.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you make a frog stand still? Shoot it.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops