A mum and a dad were having guests round for dinner. The daughter overheard them arguing. Dad was calling mum a b*tch and mum was calling dad a b*stard. The daughter asked them what it meant and they just said, "oh, it just means ladies and gentlemen". Later, when mum was doing her makeup, she dropped it and said oh "sh*t". Daughter asked what it meant and mum replked "it's just another word for makeup". After that, dad dropped the turkey and said "oh, F*ck!" Daughter asked what it meant and he replied "its another word for cooking". When the guests arrived, the daughter answered the door, and said "hello b*tches and b*stards. Mums upstairs stuffing sh*t on her face and dads in the kitchen f*cking the turkey".

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Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Knock knock? Whos there? Knock knock. WHOS IS THERE?!?!? Knock Knock is, my name is Knock Knock.

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Whats tan and jumps higher than a frog? Mexicans..

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who pooped in my garden?

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roses ar red violets ar blue i have aids

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Why did a little kid's mom let go of his hand? John Wilks Booth shot her

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How do u kill a mocking bird? Stab it

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Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

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Why did the car slow down? Becuase the driver pressed the break

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How did the blonde girl fall down? She didnt see where she was goin

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How many pencils does it take to get an A on a test? Actually it takes knowledge.

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What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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Found out my dad was gay the other day. Now I have to take him to dance clubs, take him to musicals and find the man who gave birth to me.

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Why does beonce say to the left, to the left. she doesnt she sings it.

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Q: How do you kill a goblin if the fries are next to the sushi? A: Yes. Walruses have nostrils and rubber chickens don't like microwaves!

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What do you call a man in the desert? Whatever his name is.

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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An Englishman, a Frenchman and a German strand on an island. Searching the jungle, they fall into a trap. They get painfully killed and eaten by the cannibals.

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What would the funeral home do without a dead person? Wait until the next appiontment

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whats the difference between samios and a dog? Nothing.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To hold their pants up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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