One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's Tyler Oh hey, come in

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Why did the boy yawn? Because he was tired.

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If you were in a room with Osama bin Laden, Hitler, and a black guy and you had two bullets, who would you shoot? Seeing as this situation is logically impossible considering that Adolf Hitler died in the year 1945 and Osama bin Laden was born in the year 1957, I would be in a room with just a black guy and two bullets. Then I would proceed not to shoot the black guy on the fact that I enjoy the talking and learning about cultural diversities between the black and white races.

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People...

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Two men are sitting on a park bench discussing the anatomy of goats. Where is Bertha? Teaching the principals of mathematics to blind orphins in Moscow, Russia.

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Lunch.

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How do you get a black guy to stop hanging around in your front yard? Hang him in the back yard.

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Why did the black man not get to go to the party that was filled with all white people? His mother had recently died and so he had proceeded to go to his mother's funeral instead of heading to his white bestfriend's party.

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A man runs over a woman with his car, whose fault was it? The woman's for trying to cross the street in the dark without a crosswalk.

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Why did the man die? He had a terrible form of flesh-eating bacteria and he suffered a lot of pain.

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Your momma's so stupid that she was declared mentally retarded by her doctors.

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How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

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A bear walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What'll it be." The bear mauls his face off and kills several other patrons before police show up and fire three rounds in it's face.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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What's worse; twelve babies in one trash can or one baby in twelve trash cans?

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Q: Why was the little boy upset? A: His nose was glued to the sidewalk.

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Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies? A young girl you know personally, completely alone with leukemia.

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A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

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How do you get a cat off a swing? You throw a dog at it.

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balls

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What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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