What's the opposite of stupid? diputs

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How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I live in Africa Give me water

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Batman. Batman who? Batman is stunned by the fact that there is in fact someone that does not know him.

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Thanks superman! Oh this is just what a regular Clark Kent would do... Uh... I mean... Dont worry Superman I know you arent Clark Kent, I just wonder why you work for him all day... Moral: What? What moral? What what?

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Q:Where was The Declaration of Independence signed? A: At the bottom

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My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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Q:Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? A:The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythological creatures.

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Jimmy was skipping in the park one day when a young boy stopped him. "Hello there, would you like to be friends? We can go behind the old oak tree and play soccer!" asked the boy. "Ok!" replied Jimmy, and they went off together to play. The so-called 'young boy' was actually a wanted midget rapist. Jimmy was brutally raped and filmed. The film was later uploaded onto the internet where it blew up in a matter of weeks. Jimmy had to move schools 6 times and had to go to counselling every week. He finds it hard making friends and later went on to become a heavy cocaine addict.

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Who is Soulja Boy's best friend? YOUUUUUUUUUUUU

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*Tell your listener to say knock knock* B: Knock knock A: Who's there? B: *awkward silence

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Whats worse than breaking your toe? Being raped

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Man 1- What's red, black, and white all over? Man 2- What? Man 1- Half a penguin! Man 2 became seriously disturbed from this joke, as he saw the movie Happy Feet two days ago. He went to intense therapy and became mentally deranged.

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What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? Velcro.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 397, IF you have a big tounge

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Why did the woman drown in the bathtub? Her husband was holding her under.

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friends are like onions when you chop them up you cry but when you throw them out of a window, you dont

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Why was six afraid of 7? Because 7 was a terrorist.

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what is sam ross' favorite word to use in conversation? awesam

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What do you call a man with cheese on his face? His name is David.

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Sigh, visit me with a pack of condoms, that is so romantic... Now you tell me something, how old are you REALLY and what is your real name? Oh yeah, my first name is Tifa (I know you hate it for some reason), and I am turning 24 in 30 days.

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Sorry, had it not been for my contacts, you would all have ended up in prison because of "The Wiz", I know you got a clean plate, but this guy was doing some seriously dirty laundry claiming to be working for "The Order", again it is best you all keep low, I will make sure my men evacuate this place as soon as we have rigged the game to your favor. As far as we can tell, he was the only one leaking Intel, but I suggest you keep an close eye on the rest of your boys and girls.

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Question: How did the chicken get to the other side of the road? Answer: Too find his joint.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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