Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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What did the bungee jumper say to his wife? Honey, I'm going bungee jumping today.

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a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What did the Little 8 year old boy do when a big black man walked into his house? He said "Hi daddy", then they happily ate dinner together.

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An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

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Two Atheists walk into a bar. A nearby Christian notices this fact and proceeds to slightly preach to both of the Atheists. They then kindly explain that they don't personally believe in God, but respect the Christian's opinion. They all order drinks, and become very close friends, engaging in a long, hateless conversation.

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Why did the boy have no ankles? Because his legs were amputated

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I'm a fork. Fork you!!

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If she's old enough for jail, than shes old enough to rail.

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who is the shortest man in the world? ADITYA DEV

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What do you call a black man in the south? An example of diverse America

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What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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What do you get when you cross Dracula and a snowman. Probably a little startled from the man's Dracula costume and a little chilly because the weather is cold enough to support a snowman.

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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Who is the fastest man on earth? To get to the other side.

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roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

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Why are you gay? Because ***** you

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Why did the jew tie his shoes? because his shoes were untied

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Q: Whats worse than 8 babies in one bin? A: 1 babies in 8 bins

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, It's still in its pen.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had alopecia.

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What do a black lesbian, Adolf Hitler and Jesus have in common? They are all the subject of this question.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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