why did logan cross the road? to get raped by his father again

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint your self green and throw forks at her.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Me Me, who? -You -You? but I thought you were me. - I am you, you're looking in the mirror, asshole. - No, sir i'm sorry you have the wrong house. Asshole doesn't live here.

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Your momma is so fat that she has really high cholesterol but also an undoubtedly warm personality.

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So, why is winter so terrible? Because, Napoleon was stopped by winter and we aren't all French.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Did you hear the one about the Gay Irish Politician who was running for President?! He withdrew his candidacy.

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roses are red violets are blue i take pleasure in the simple things in life as i have nothing else left to live for

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Do you know what's sad about 4 black men driving off a cliff in a convertible? They were my friends.

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What's worse than being a midget Being a midget with no legs

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#FEARtheFLAMINGOS

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What do a purple grape and an elephant have in common? They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Who cares its a chicken, it probably got hit by a car. Go to McDonalds and get a chicken sandwich there he is

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Voldemort's nose is so flat, that it looks like he doesn't have a nose.

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Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?

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Knock knock Who's there? Police Police who? You're under arrest, open up or we'll knock your door down

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What did the lady find out when she went to the doctor. She had breast cancer.

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What is pink, female and has two dicks? A mother with two sons, both called Richard.

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Why did the black man get drenched by a fire hose because he was on fire

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're daughter has terminal cancer.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot.

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Three women are seen walking while having ice cream. One of them is licking the ice cream. Another is sucking the ice cream, and the other one is biting the ice cream. One of these women is married. Which one is married? The one that has a wedding ring on her finger.

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Your mother's so fat she occupies more space than a thin person does and is more likely to bump into environmental objects.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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