Uh Erron, you know, I do not spend most of the time before this computer or studying because I am popular nor anything, so that`s one thing, and yeah, I never done it with anybody so yeah, uhh lucky me or something.

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What did the Muslim receive for Christmas? Nothing. Muslims don't celebrate Christmas.

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Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

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What do you call a man who does not burst into tears after hearing that his mother has died? A person that has been desensitized by today's cruel world and society.

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Why are birds purple? because it fits the sky why are bats purple? bats aren't purple

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What's a computer without Internet? A computer.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in an open hole Poor body disposal practice

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A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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Why did andy fall down Because his friend pushed him over

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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Q: What's black and blue and is all over Timmy's mother? A: The bruises his father gave her when he came home drunk.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

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An Atheist and a Christian are walking along a sidewalk going in opposite directions when suddenly the Atheist sneezes. The Christian says "God Bless You!" Even though the Atheist doesn't believe in God he understand that the gesture was a kind one and so he nods and politely says "Thank you!" before going on about his day.

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When does the Trogdor come? In the Niiiiighhhttttt.

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she is dead.

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What is green and has wheels???? Yo mamma on a Wednesday.

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What do get when you mix cancer and a bike? Lance Armstrong

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whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

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Q: What did Michael Jackson do while he was preparing for his newest world tour? A: He died.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human being and one is an inanimate object that people enjoy sitting on.

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A fat guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "the regular?" The fat man replies, "actually this time I wanna try something different."

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Who won the race through the underpass, the black man or the polish man? The black man as he crossed the finish line several seconds earlier.

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Well educated black man.

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How do you get clean dishes? You wash them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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