what will you do if you become a ruler of the world? Waking up, its just a dream GET REAL!

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Q: What did the terrorist do when he walked into the football stadium? A: Set off a bomb, killing him and others there

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What do you call a larger individual having intense sex with a smaller individual? Rape.

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This is a story of Bobbie He was fat so he got bullied at school he did not have any friends. He ate a lot and watched the television. He was called names such as big, fat, an idiot, clumsy. But he begun to realise that if he was smart, he could become rich. So he studied hard and hard, but he did not become better at it. So he thought I want to succeed in sports, so he began exercising and was on a strict diet, but nothing changed. He was still fat and unfit. Then one day he knew that he couldn't succeed. So he asked God, what is the purpose of me living, why can't I have something, maybe a talent. God replied I'm sorry but I can't give you a talent. You have to figure it out by yourself. Then Bobbie knew what his talent was. So the following morning Bobbie went to www.anti-joke.com and began writing jokes. Octopus. Bye

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Nock Nock. Whose there? The chicken.

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Rose are Red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his truck? Wheres my truck?

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? ..............

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How many apples do you end up with if your dog is a golden retriever who got raped by a giant scorpion? A jail

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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What do you call the black guy with a gun a ski mask on? Tyrone, because thats his name.

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Why did the little girl with no arms an legs cry? Because she fell off the swing.

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Type 2 diabetics

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Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made the man who said shut up mad so he told the man to shut up.

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whats sad about justin bieber getting hit by a car and dying ? I wasnt driving the car that hit him.

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Yo momma is so fat, that after boarding an airplane the flight crew respectfully asked her to deboard, as with her on board the plane would be exceeding the reccomended weight, and thus be unable to fly safely.

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, then they probably won't hear the lumberjack's cries for help either.

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who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

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Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What did the girl say to her ex? Fuck you.

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What did the African do when he found out he was constipated? He ate a laxative and went to the toilet

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mikey is cute

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How do you know to start calling a fetus a baby? If it cries when you abort it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops