A British man walks into a bar. He has to get stitches.

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What's green and fuzzy, has 4 legs, and if it falls from a tree it'll kill you? A pool table.

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

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"Lady's and Gentlemen, hobos and trams Cross side mosquitoes and bald legged ants Pull up a chair and sit on the floor and I'll tell you I've never heard before Of one bright day in the middle of night Two dead boys got up to fight Back to Back they faced each other Drew their swords and shot each other A deaf policeman heard the noise Came and killed the two dead boys If you don't believe this lie is true Ask the blind man he saw it too"

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What has eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs face.

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What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he

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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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Whats blue, sticky and glows only during the morning? IDK -Lets go Mets

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What can eat, sleep, and reproduce? Not a rock, that's for sure.

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

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Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

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Your mother is so classy, when I asked her to order at a fast food drive through she decided to park the car a eat inside.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he lives in a chicken coop and has never even seen a road.

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Which is the rarest animal in the North pole? The Polaroid.

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A fat guy eats a twinkie.

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Roses are Red, They are also white, Infact nowadays with cross-pollination a hugely diverse number of different coloured roses are attainable.

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Caller: Is your fridge running! Callee: ... umm yes? Caller: I guess you don't need my services. Thanks Callee: ok bye

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why was the boy in his closet? He is hiding because his father beats him because he is gay.

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Chuck Norris' farts are silent and deadly. Deadly because he's Chuck Norris, silent because his butthole is extremely loose

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Why did the weird, creepy old man in the beat up van give ice cream to the little girl? Because his company went bankrupt and as part of a court order, he was thereby forced to give away the remaining contents of his inventory to those who seeked it.

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"My, what big teeth you have!" exclaimed Little Red Riding Hood. "Because I'm a wolf," explained the wolf. "And I dress in women's clothing because it makes me happier."

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, becuse if something is red all over it cannot be black nor white.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops