why did the zombie eat bob because bob was delicious

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than finding 16 dead babies in a tree? Finding 1 dead baby in 16 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a Mexican baptism? A blessed occasion.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A man walks into a bar. His friend follows him in, but the first man doesn't know he's there. They both order a beer, then a couple strong shots. The first man then notices his friend, and they exchange high-fives. The man's friend says, "Hey, how ya doin?" The first man says, "Okay, I guess, but I forgot the punchline." So the second man orders his friend the strongest drink, and the weakest. He replies, "Me too, Joe. Meeeeee, too."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A white man, a black man, and an Arab man are standing in a room. Who stole your wallet? No one, you suffer from ALS and therefore do not carry a wallet because you have no way in which to use it. To top it all off your medical bills are so high that your family would be financially better if you were to die and your dream of being an entrepreneur is slipping away as you realize that pitching an idea is difficult in a monotonous drone.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A Carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Where do farmers retire their used farm equipment? The tree in their backyard.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWERWHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWERWHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what do you get when you use heroin aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Jerry Sandusky prefers twenty eight year olds. 20 eight year olds.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a wine-o? A Alco-colic.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What do you call an aligator in a vest A: Investigator

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Your dad is so fat that he is on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +132

If god gives you lemons keep the lemon go to the store and buy oranges to make orange juice.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

So a horse walks into a bar.. and breaks both its front legs. The owner has to shoot it because it can't race anymore

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: What do you get when you cross a rare breed of penguin with a horse. A: Well to be fair, turtles have shells

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you make someone sad? Tell them they have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the chicken cross the road Why not

thumb_up thumb_down +26

My brother gave my mom AIDS. My mom gave my dad AIDS. My dad gave my dog AIDS. My dog gave me AIDS. I gave my sister AIDS. My sister called the police because of the wild case of AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do you call a man with no arms or legs? handicapt

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Your mom is so fat the only time she saw 90210 was on a scale.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

anti-joke.ru - russian style

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops