Your mom is so fat, her pants are starting to get tight.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

68

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Rich people gave money to charity Charity gave money to the homeless The homeless spent the money on drugs

thumb_up thumb_down +9

We spent trillions of tax payer's money on the death of 1 man... wait that's not funny...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Are women better than men? Dont know but what we do know is they swing at bigger balls (softballs), shoot from lower basketball nets, do pushups from their knees. Shall I go on?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you get Jack to fall of his bike? Push him off

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what do you call 3 black men in a line up? their names

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats funnier than a real joke? An anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why'd I have sex with your mom? I'm your father and I love your mother very much

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What do you call a white basketball player? A very athletic hardworking dedicated human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at rhyming Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a bar. - - - - - - - - -

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Why couldn't the girl call her boyfriend? Because she is homeless and can't afford to buy a phone.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q:What's black, wrinkled and smells like raisins? A: A raisin.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walks into a bar with his dog. He orders 14 shots and proceeds to drink. For each shot he takes, he feeds one to his dog, who accepts it willingly. The bartender says "Well I've never seen anything stranger. Why did you order 14 shots, and why are you giving half to your dog." "Well," says the man, "my 14 year old dog was diagnosed with a fatal heart condition. I cannot afford to put him down, so the shots should kill him." The dog then dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What has the head of a lion, the body of a mule, and the penis of a seal? Nothing... what the hell did you think it was? Are you on drugs or something?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

koala's try to hit on teddy bears...... desperate even though we know extinction's comin

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did the boy have no friends ? Because he lived in a small cottage miles away from any civilization with his overly strict parents who would not let him see the daylight and deprived him of any kind of childhood, he has no social skills and does not know how to interact with other human beings at no fault of his own. he is also dead

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is the difference between a dead baby and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the Asian woman crash her car? She couldn't see through the slits she called eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops