Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he wasn't invited.

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"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

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Why did the man throw his alarm clock out the window? Because he has anger management issues.

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2 gays monkeys walk into a bar.........

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Why was the squirrel late for work? Because the traffic was nuts!

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Whats worse than a son killing his own father? His biological father finds him, 10 years later.

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My kids are mistakes.

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What do you call a black person born in America? American.

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Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

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A baby seal walks in to a club

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I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, the divorce papers were filed soon thereafter.

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What's the same between a grape and an airplane? they both have wings but the grape doesn't

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Why did the blonde walk into the bar? To get a beer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? A: Depends on the size of the tub and the size of the babies.

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How do you make a black man cry? Kill his family

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How do you make a dog drink? You put the dog in a blender

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A man walks into a Norfolk pub. The landlord (not being very worldly) notices he is of Middle Eastern descent and asks "are you Bin Laden"? To this the man replies "No I bin Swaffham". (Needs to be said in Norfolk accent)

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Q: What can a bench do that a mexican can't? A: Support a family.

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apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

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If you have two berries in one hand, and three in the other, what do you get when you put them together? Five.

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knock knock who's there? banana well that's an odd name. banana then began to break down in tears because his parents were constant drug abusers and gave him that name while they were high

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why can't dead peaple have sex? because they're dead.

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Your momma's so fat that she can't pass through some turnstiles and needs go through some other way with people staring and feel sad about it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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