Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

why is pie good. because it just is.

When life gives you lemons.............. take them free stuff is awesome.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whose. There? Not Susie.

What's Mackaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing? Neverland Ranch.

Why was the boy walking in circles? One of his feet was nailed to the floor...

How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

what do you call the quadriplegic man who went water skiing? Skip

What did the gay guy get for Christmas? AIDS

What did the scientist have to say about religion when he was asked by a local reporter? He said that it is a cultural system that creates powerful and long-lasting meaning, by establishing symbols that relate humanity to truths and values.

A dog walks into a bar. the owner of the bar didn't allow animal in his bar and he helped the dog outside again

Write your own pointless joke on http://pointless-jokes.tk

What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had places to be

Why was the man sad His son got raped

knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

How's the weather? Good.

what do you get when you cross a bulldog with a shitshu? a puppy.

Three peasants were brought in front of the King to be rewarded for their assistance during a drought. The King told them that they could each request one thing from him that he could provide. The first man asked to be rich, so the King ordered his guards to fetch a large sack that was filled to the brim with gems and gold pieces. The man thanked the King and left his palace joyfully. The second man asked for a larger house so the King gave him access to one of his many castles. He hurriedly left, eager to try out his new home for size. The third man asked for a cat so the King gave him a cat.

Why did the black man have a Lamborghini in his garage? Because he got good grades in school, was accepted into a nice college, and earned a medical degree, which he used to get himself a well-paying job in the medical field.

Your mom is so stupid she had a hard time graduating high school.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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