How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? It varies. Alzheimer's is a very slow progressing disease, and many people suffering from it are capable of a wide variety of a number of everyday activities.

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Who lives in a pineaplle under the sea? Nobody but bacteria that will slowly eat your stomach.

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Why are cats mammals? Because they are descended from primordial mammals in the distant past which are the common ancestors of all mammals.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Why did the squirrel across the river upside down? So it could keep its nuts dry.

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Does that doctor take insurance? No, the receptionist takes the insurance, the doctor takes your blood... Well actually, the nurse does that.

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Why are black people like jelly beans? Nobody likes the black ones

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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What's the worst part about rollerblading? Telling your dad that you're gay.

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Tilt your screen back

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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There's two men on a subway. One says "Hey, that's my sandwich.".

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What did the chipmunk say to the nut? I'm gonna eat you.

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Roses are gay, Violets are gay, I f*cked your mom You have aids.

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what is green and has wheels grass i lied about the wheels

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What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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Whats better then winning a gold medal at the special olympics????? NOT BEING RETARDED!!!!!!!

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what happened to the man who walked into a bar he slipped from the bar of soap and died

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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What's the humor in an elevator? Me jumping up and down yelling we r all gonna die.

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The awkward moment when something of quite awkwardness occurs.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and so am I

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Who is the greatest cook ever? Adolof Hitler

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What did the man do when it was raining pineapples? He got a chainsaw and went on a killing spree against his neighbors family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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