Sigh... You know life, you start all optimistic and "I am going to be wealthy mommy and stuff" Then you know, life turns not quite out like you planned it, and, well, you wish you had made some other choices you know what I mean... Your grades where not that good, that girl you really loved did not like you back, you know what I mean right? ...Well I don't, how is it like?

a chicken walks into terry's house he penetrates himn

Knock Knock. Who's there? Child Protection Services. ...............

One day an irishman walked into a bar. he started to show off his accent when a nicely dressed lady said to him, "are you from ireland?". "AYE" said the irshman. " what part of ireland are you from?" drunk, the irishman replied "uh downtown" then the woman said, " did you come here alone?" then he replied"no i didn't come here a'lone.....DONKEY!!!"

What's black and can't speak? A garbage can.

a man rides on his horse to rohde island and back. he rode on Friday and returned on Friday. damn, that's one fat horse

What was going through the minds of the Sandy Hook victims? Bullets.

Why was John sad? His parents were murdered.

"Roses are red, violets are blue," she explained to the color blind child, who was unable to understand the concept of color.

My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. (Submitted by Aidan)

What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? NOT TOM

Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

How are Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga similar? They are both men except Justin Beiber

Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

Roses are red Violets are... The poem was never finished due to the fact that the reader had narcolepsy and promptly fell asleep.

Why were the police chasing the black man? Because he was in such a poor financial state that the bank foreclosed his house and now he has no source of income and therefore no way to purchase basic living requirements, so he was forced to steal in order to provide food for his family.

Why did the chicken crose the rode? Because there was a 10 foot scorpion chaseing it

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson molested boys.

What did the homosexual community have last night? A protest for gay rights.

Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

Punching a baby

Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

Why did the boy cross the street He didnt he got hit by a plane instead

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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