Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is Patrick

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Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

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Why did the girl die? She read Twililght

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Q. What goes 100 mph and is green? A. A frog in a blender

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Even better if I am not here in an hour, lets make it two huh?, I was thinking about you, sleep is well, not something I prioritize well enough at all, probably why I am so adrenaline crazy.

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Yo momma is so poor when she went to the bank the teller was like " you have no money."

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How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

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Why did the mailman cross the road? To deliver mail

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding half a worm and wondering where the other half is. o.O

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What did the kid with cancer get for christmas? Hope.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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Face Hunter is scum

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Why can't Tommy ride a bike? Because Tommy is a goldfish.

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What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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Knock knock Who's there A girl scout A girl scout who? A girl scout trying to sell cookies to support her alcoholic parents who beat her

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Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have multi-personality disorder. Patient: Which one of us?

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far from its body.

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What did the African boy get for Christmas? Nothing because he celebrates Kwanza.

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What do you call a pig that just took a bath? Clean!

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What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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Good boy

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Me, myself, and I walked into a bar. We didn't say anything to each other because I'm not schetsophrenic.

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The only hand that can beat a royal flush is Chuck Norris's hand

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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