Whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a sludge hammer, the other is a watermelon

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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A black person and a hispanic person are in a car, who is driving? The black person, after all it's his car.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

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What happen to the girl that received chocolate on Valentine's day? She had a allergic reaction.

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How many black people did it take to change the light bulb? I couldn't tell, the lights were out.

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Why was Adolf Hitler such a bad man? Because he never kissed his wife goodbye.

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe, When he woke up one night he discovered with fright, That the friendly old neighbor from next door had broken into his house with a chain saw in an alcohol-induced murder attempt.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar, but then realises he's ruining his family so he calls the rehab

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because the Nazis were on the brink of losing the war and Berlin was shortly to be captured by Soviet forces.

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A Mexican walks into a bar. He walked out with a concussion. -ilikecrepes97

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

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Why did Micheal fall off his bike? Someone threw a chainsaw at him.

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A boy asks his teacher to go to the bathroom, she says ok but only if he can sya the alphabet. He says ok, but for some reason skips the letter P. How come? -Because he has a sever learning disability and is having a hard time remebering all the letters of the alphabet

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Did u know that 10/10 people die?

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What do a turtle and a bowling ball have in common? Nothing

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taking out the trash... at night

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Why are video games fun? To get a mushy brain :P

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

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What is black blue and screaming? Your daughter when i kicked the shit out of her

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Why did the black man have no toes? Because during his climb of Everest, he got frostbite and they had to be amputated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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