Q. What did the man say when he beat his video game? A. "I beat my video game." Q. What did the man say after his favorite sports team missed the playoffs? A. "My favorite sports team missed the playoffs." Q. What did the man say when a murderer was in his house? A. Nothing. He was dead.

Haiku's Are Easy. But Don't Always Make Much Sense. Refrigerator.

Why can't girls count to seventy? Trick question. Clinical research has proven that a fair amount of girls are, in fact, capable of counting from one to seventy using ordinal numbers in the Arabic numeral system.

What did the starving african child get for his birthday Ebola

How does it change many dyslexics take to a lightbulb.

What did the doctor say to the camel with no hump? You're a horse.

why didn't the boy get any presents for his birthday? because when his dad went to the store to get him some presents he ended up buying presents for himself like a huge douchebag.... and the apple doesn't fall from the tree so his son is a douchebag too and doesn't deserve presents.

How do you keep black people from your Kool-aid? How? You put it in a safe-deposit box.

I like my woman like I like my coffee. Good.

-What's funnier than a dog with no legs? -The movie Dumb and Dumber, in my opinion.

Why don't elderly people act their age? because they die.

Knock knock. Who's there? Dog. Dog who? I have a dog.

what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a would chuck could chuck wood? Home depot

A ninja walks into a bar the bartender asks "what would you like?" The ninja says "i'll have two green eyes" the bartender says "we dont have green eyes this is america" so the ninja is so mad that he goes home and brutally beats his wife with a spatula.

What's Mackaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing? Neverland Ranch.

Roses are red Violets are blue Fvck this poem I'll just go play video games.

What's funnier than 100 dead babies? Everything.

How did sarah break her arm? She was in a tragic car accident. An ambulance arrived and quickly rushed her to the hospital where she was cared for by medical professionals.

What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

Guess what? Chicken butt! No I have aids, you might want to get yourself tested

Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

Hitler walks into a temple..... Oh wait he died

What has two legs, but cant walk? Steven Hawking

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...