Why was the man sleeping. He was tired

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o | ,'~'. / \ | ____|_ | '___,,_' .----------------. | ||(o |o)| ( KILL ALL HUMANS! ) | ------- ,----------------' | _____| -' \ '####, ------- /________\ ( ) |) '_ ' ,------|\ _ /_ / | |_\ || /_ /| | o| _\ _|| /_ / | | |\ _\____//' | ( ( | | | (_,_,_,____/ \ _\ | ------| \ _\|_________| \ _\ \__\\__\ |__| |__||__| ||/__/ |__||__| |__||__| |__||__| /__)/__) /__//__/ /__//__/ /__//__/. .' '. '. (_kOs____)____)

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Roses are red violets are blue I hate rhyming pancakes

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What is the black kid down the street getting for his birthday? Well first of all, his name is Pat. And he asked his parents for an Xbox that he will likely receive, and I assume a variety of other gifts from friends and family.

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A man sees another man sitting on a bench with a pickle in his ear. He asks the man "Why do you have a pickle in your ear?" The other man replies "What? I couldn't hear you because I have a pickle in my ear."

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Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with abnormal sized genitalia.

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Johnny is walking around school when he sees a kid crying. He asked the kid what he was crying about and the kid said " I was trying to talk to a girl"

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because they're humans and many humans enjoy the savory taste of fried chicken.

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

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How do you drown a blond? Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool!

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Q: How do you fit 100 mexicans in a van? A: Its theoretically impossible.

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2 girls talking to each other: brunette: Christmas is on Friday this year blonde: let's hope its not on Friday the 13th!!!!!

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What do you do when you're surrounded by 15 vampires and 15 werewolves? Stop pretending.

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once, my friend said hi. i said hi back

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It didn't, instead it got put in to a McDonald's chicken wrap. Life is funny sometimes, and sceane

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, here's some candy, gent in the van.

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What did the phone say to the man? Ring ring.

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where is my tractor?"

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Can u explode on me.......Plz.........no........ok.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Watch me shoot you

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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