how do you make a baby stop crying? but hot coals down its throat

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Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and was forced to prostitute for money, thus resulting in you.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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What body part did German prince Heinrich von Missingpenis lack? His toenail.

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Lightning strikes 2 year old baby.

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If u see a guy with a buzz cut and earrings what would u ask? R u a girl with cancer

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There are four dead people on a boat. They commit suicide. Why did they commit suicide. To get to the other side!

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What would you say if you girlfriend got hit by a train? Trick question, trains don't go through kitchens!

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What's the difference between an airplane and a cantaloupe? What? Wow your a dumby head.

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What is worse than getting a virus on your computer? Having your mother die of malaria

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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What time is it? I believe it's half past 10, sir. Damn, I'm late for a meeting. May I ask, what time are you supposed to be there? 11 O'clock Why sir you have half an hour left. No shiitt, sherlock

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Haikus are good poems, They don't always make sense though, I saw a squirrel.

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So much with being an author... You with the Feds? The CIA?

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Tim is a bald headed prick with an annoying voice and he looks like a clean shaven Walter White if he was on the same drugs that he was making and he looks like he smokes too much because the wrinkles on his forehead look like lips.

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Your mama is so ugly that she tried out for America's Next Top Model and did not get in.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one you care bout so why did u say who's there?

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Hickory Dickory Dock mother is a whore

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I walked into my sister's room and slipped on a bra..........it was a boobie trap

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What's red ad looks like a green bucket? A red bucket to a color blind person

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What happened to the boy with AIDS? He died at the age of 12

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Q: Are their Jews in Hell? A: No, because Hitlers there

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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