Your mom is so fat that when she wears a yellow raincoat outside, people notice a rather large woman who is enjoying the weather and wearing a yellow raincoat.

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They say Jesus Christ walked on water and that humans are made up of 70% water...... So if I walk on babies, am I 70% Jesus?

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Three men sat at a pub, it reminded them of this joke they once heard

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How do you keep an extraordinary magician from performing his show? Replace his shampoo with battery acid

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How did the old guy die? Of death and death related symptoms.

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A blind man walks into a bar. But he wasn't hurt badly and continued on his way.

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What time is it? 10:58

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Obama

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How do you stop a vehicle moving at high speeds? Apply the brakes in a reasonable fashion.

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*insert corny "a man walks into a bar" joke here*

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How did the dead baby cross the road? stapled to the chickens foot.

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free shit is cool

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What happens when you poke a ghost that is on the edge of a building?? Ghost aren't real, so therefor you will fall of the building and die????

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Why Did the one handed man cross the road? To get to the dying man on the other side

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What do you call cheese that isnt yours? Stolen cheese.

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If your South American in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom? European ( your a pee an)

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Yo mama is so ugly that the devil warships her.

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Why the hell does my sister shower in a swimsuit every time? Its not as if anyone is looking! ALRIGHT! ONCE ALRIGHT? ONLY ONCE! But then she hears the sound of my zipper ONCE and the shit hits the fan! Which is weird, yeah suuure she hears it when I pull it up, but when I pull it down and stroke it and moan? Nada!

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sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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what happens when a panther and a gorilla fight? i dont know i never seen it before.

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What did George Washington say to his men before they got on a boat? Men, get on the boat

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What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

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Why did little Lisa fall off the swings? She had no arms

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The WNBA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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