Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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Why did the boy jump off a bridge? Because he saw it on tv

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^that joke's not funny

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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Yo mama so fat! Really she should get on an exercise program and watch her diet, as she is at higher risk for diabetes and other health issues

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Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? Because they are delicious, and very filling.

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Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except for the cases when you die...then you are dead.

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sometimes i take my duck a shower, i always use cold water because if i use hot water it will think im cooking it.

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Why didn't andrea clean the dishes? She had no hands

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Your friend is so gay, he has consensual sex with other men. and enjoys it.

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A duck walks into a over 7-11 and says "Give me some Chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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What did the explorer say to the new species Oh look it says squirtle let's call it squirtle Oh look it say woof let's call it poochyena

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No entiendo PORQUE cada día amanezco

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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how do you get expelled? Rape a special ed kid.

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My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

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What's brown and red but looks purple? Mixed paint!

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why was 6 afraid of 7? Because ever since 3 died, 7 had changed. He had turned aggressive and randomly snapped and hit out at some of the other numbers for no apparent reason.

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1: Ask if I'm a truck. 2: Uh... Are you a truck. 1: No.

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What did the chicken say to the cow? Cluck cluck Knock knock Who's there Chicken Chicken who? Chicken go cluck cluck, cow go moo Piggie go oink oink, how 'bout you?

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Yo mom so fat that even Torres won't miss her

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What do you call a black guy holding a crate of watermelons? a farmer

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there is no such thing as a dumb blonde. cant you tell? I'm a blonde... skipping school.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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