Hhahahahahhahhahahahahhaahhayournanisdeadhahhahahahahahahah

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What did Sally get for chirstmas? Cancer

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-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

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What starts with "F" and ends in "uck" Firetruck.

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Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm. Wats worse then biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an eggplant and finding half a worm, as eggplants are usually more expensive so you will have wasted more money and would probably not be willing to eat the rest. And eggplants taste like shit.

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What do you call a black man helping an old woman cross the road? A concerned citizen.

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Why did the orange put on the sun block? Because it was afraid of turning into a TAN-gerine!

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What is Ash gray Battleship gray Black Blue-gray Cadet gray Charcoal Cool gray Davy's gray Payne's gray Gunmetal Silver Slate gray Taupe Purple taupe Medium taupe Rose quartz Taupe gray Timberwolf WhiteApple green Asparagus Bright green Cal Poly Chartreuse Dark olive green Dark spring green Dartmouth green Fern green Forest greenGreen Green-yellow Harlequin Honeydew Hunter green India green Islamic green Jungle green Lawn green LimePhthalo green Pigment green Pine green Pistachio Sea green Shamrock green Spring bud Spring green Teal Yellow-greenAlice blue Aqua Aquamarine Celeste Cerulean Cyan Electric blue Jungle green Magic mint MintAir Force blue Air superiority blue Alice blue Azure Baby blue Bleu de France Blue Blue-gray Bondi blue Brandeis blueAmethyst Byzantium Cerise Eggplant Fandango Fuchsia Heliotrope Indigo Lavender blush Lavender (floralblack gray silver white maroon red purple fuchsia green lime olive yellow navy blue teal aqua a List that you just spent 5 min reading

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What did the brown guy say to the black person when he got fired? Nothing, did you think this was going to be racist or something?!

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Yo mamma is so old that she died.

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Whats worse than finding a spider in your shower? Getting repeatedly stabbed in the dick by a rapid chipmunk.

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Guess what? Chicken butt! No I have aids, you might want to get yourself tested

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roses are red orchids are black I like you best when you lye on your back

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Q What did Stevens mum say when he asked to be an astronaut A no your heads too big

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This little pig went to market, This little pig stayed at home, This little pig had pork chops, And this little pig was GONE...

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This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done

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What's the difference between a woman and a cat? Numerous things

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A man looks in his toilet and gazes in fear of the fact that there is blood on his bowel movement. He has colitis

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What do Tutankhamun and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead

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what's the worst thing ever? reality TV shows and singing contest shows

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What's the difference between a person and a cow? 2% of their DNA. The other 98% is virtually identical.

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Ham sandwich

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died

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Roses are gold Violets are blue I am color blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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