Two women were sitting together, quietly.

What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

There once was a rich man who owned a really big mansion, he's a very organised man and likes routine, every day at 6.30pm he goes for an hour long jog. One day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his mansion is on fire and he can see a little orange man running away in the distance. But he thinks nothing of it. The man has lost a lot of money, but can still afford to move into a slighty smaller, yet still very large house. The next day he goes out for his jog and when he gets back his big house is on fire and again, he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it, but has now lost even more money, and has to move into a regular size house. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his house is on fire and again he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it and has lost even more money. He is really gutted by this point and now has to move into a single bedroom flat. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his flat is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He still thinks nothing of it and has now lost all his money, and has to move into a cardboard box under a bridge. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his cardboard box is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He is sick of this and decides to chase the little orange man. When he catches him he tackles him to the ground, turns him over and asks.. did you burn down my mansion, my big house, my average sized house, my flat, and my box? The little orange man replies no.

Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk, idiot.

Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

Wow, that is one of the things I would think I would react all bad to, but that`s, a strangely attractive quality in you.

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

A spaceship enters a black hole. A spaceship enters a black hole. A spaceship enters a black hole.

Why did the girl run to school Because a lion was chasing her

A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

What's worse than a baby in a blender? Two babies in a blender

What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

So a crippled guy rolls into a bar..

what did the philosopher say, when he considered the transient nature of life in relation to ones own personal and egocentric grasp upon circumstance and purpose? massive erection.

How do you scare a blonde woman? Tie her up and mutilate her family while she watches.

why did tom drop his ice cream he didn't because he had no icecream

Q: What happened when three lions escaped from the zoo? A: Animal patrol came and tranquilized all three.. Unfortunantly one of the lions died from to much tranq.

se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

Why was the boy sad? because the serotonin level in his brain was significantly lower than normal.

Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

Knock Knock. Who's there? (Knocker runs for his life).

What happened to the boy that got raped? He later died of depression

How do you annoy Lady Gaga? Stab her with a knife.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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