What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Arms and legs, NOT GET IN MY MINIVAN!

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Why did the chicken cross the road... He wanted to get away from all those jerks who kept asking him why he made the decisions that he did. he later committed suicide...

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks why the long face? the horse, incapable of understanding any human dialect, promptly shits on the floor and leaves

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What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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i walked into a bar, the bar tender for some reason said get out. the bartender did not realise that i was the #1 criminal in america. but why would he, i was in cuba. ( i was seven at the time)

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Q:Whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead baby? A:The dog has skidmarks in front of it -RDV

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What rhymes with milk...milf

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If a tree falls in a forest and only one women is there to hear it, does i make a sound? Trick question: there's no forests in kitchens.

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what time is it rape time

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Why didn't the blonde get into college? She died in a car crash.

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What's worse than being named Troy Merrill? Being Black.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge. Why did Sally fall off her bike? She was hit by a falling monkey and fridge.

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How do you stop a bus ? Put 3 small children in front of it Whats sad about 3 children who died in a bus crash ? They were my kids. How do you know if you're blind ? You run in to a wall

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A jewish lady is cleaning a house to make some extra money. Its great that she can still find work in this economy.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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Chuck Norris can carry very heavy objects.

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What did the horse get for Christmas? Starvation and neglect because its owner has been dead for three months of old age and he was a raging, angry, achoholic so no one cared if hey was dead and/or bothered to see if he was alive

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whoever just posted that stupid yo mama crap answer my comment

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Time to get a watch

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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Where did the kittens go on their class filed trip? Nowhere, animals are not permitted to enter a museum unless they are eye seeing dogs helping a person who lacks vision.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? -Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? -The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? -Three bee stings.

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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