Why didnt little timmy have a pencil? He was poor

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Three men are sitting in a tub. One of them says "Toss me the soap." The second one says "Toss me the shampoo." The third one says "Toss me the toaster."

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I will slam your FACE into the BOOK if you don't stay out of MY SPACE

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When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

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Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A. One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other's a highly trained professional skilled in the art of litigation.

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I see said the blind man to his deaf wife as his crippled son pushed him in his wheelchair.

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why did the poet kill the blackchicken? as a source of inspiration for his poultry

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A man is sitting at a bar. He stands up and goes over to these bikers playing pool. He then walks over to the bartender and says "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can pee in that bottle over there." The bartender looks at the bottle and sees there is a good five meters between the two. The bartender then agrees. The man takes out his penis and begins to pee. His pee stream goes everywhere on the bar, on the cash register, and espicially on the laughing bartender. It goes everywhere except inside the bottle. The man finishes and zips his pants. He then smiles at the bartender while handing him three hundred dollars. The bartender asks "why are you laughing you lost three hundred dollars?" Which the man replies "See those bikers by the pool table laughing?...I bet them five hundred dollars each that I could pee on your bar, on your cash register, and on your face and you would laugh and be happy." The bartender then reached under his bar and toke out his bat. He then continued to break the mans knees and then perceeded to pee on his bruised and battered face.

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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all fall on a small boy below, putting him into a 20-year coma.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at a grocery store? Because I wanna spill some milk on the floor so they can call spill on aisle 9 and I'll be there waiting for you and watch you clean my mess.

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What's one thing a black man can't have? White skin

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How do you make a gorilla stop chasing you? You shoot him.

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knock knock whos there not me

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Your mamma is so fat that she went on a diet.

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What did the retarded kid get for chrismas? Nothing the orphanage could not afford to give presents to all of the retarded children

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Knock knock whos there telephone telephone who telephone refiridgerator

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Billy: Mom.... Dad, I have decided that I want to live on my own. Parents: Great son! We're so proud of you! Billy: Thanks for your support! Your luggage is outside by the taxi.

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17

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have you seen stevie wonder's harmonica? neither has he.

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What do you call a tree with all of it's branches down? A tree with all of it's branches down.

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How do you kill a turtle? You can't, it has a shell for a reason.

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Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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whats your name? bumder:)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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