What goes in long and hard and comes out wet and sticky? A penis after orgasmic intercourse.

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What's the difference between a carrot and an elephant? The carrot is orange.

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A horse finds himself sleeping in the ocean. Immediately, he decides to be a dolphin.

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tight butthole 4 lyfe.

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What do you get when you cross a Poodle with a cupcake? Stop looking at these anti-jokes and get back to work.

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What did the blind man say when you asked hi his favorite color? Nothing he is death too

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How many Jews does it take to fill a shower? As many as it does to fill an ash tray.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. This poem sucks. I like math!

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Did you hear the one about the man who kept losing his memory? I don't remember how it goes... by the way, did you hear the one about the man who kept losing his memory?

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Why didn't the boy eat his food? because he wasn't hungry.

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Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

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Knock Knock Who's There? Due to the fact that the man asked who's there instead of promptly opening the door, the women on the other side was raped and killed, because she went to that house to seek help.

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Your mom's so fat that she went in to get liposuction and subsequently died from infection.

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The Female Orgasm

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A man took his son out to play catch. The boy didn't even try to catch the ball. After that the man took his son to the amusement park to have fun. The boy didn't even try to have fun. Then the man took his son to the burger place nearby. Once again the son didn't even touch his food. Finally the man lost his temper and beat his seemingly ungrateful son and cried over the fact that his son was mentally retarded.

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How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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Once ther was a happy little boy and he was just playing with his dinosaur when he was hit by the school bus that was supposed to take him to school. The End

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Why was the man so unhappy. he died

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A woman walked into a bar. She dragged her drunk husband off his stool and left.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for water. The bartender asks,"How would you like to pay?" And do you know what he said? "Charge it to the game."

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A man walks into a bar He says "ow" and promptly sits down and ices the bruise he sustained

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A man sees a bum laughing. He asks the bum "Why are you laughing", at which point the bum replies "I'm a bum!"

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There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

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my friend is gay hes gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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