What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt Getting stabbed.

Howdy stranger.... It is time for you to join! SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT! SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT! Moral: "HEY YOU! STFU! STFU! STFU! STFU!"

...IIITS... :) SMILEY :( AND MADDY THE HORSEHEAD SHOW ITS :) SMILEY :( AND MADDY THE HORSEHEAD SHOW! :) YAY! :(SHADDAP YUUU! Episode one... The waiting for the wait!

how do you stop a baby crying hit it with a brick.

I just found my mum has Alzheimer's, I hope it isn't contagious cause my mum has it too

Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

Why did the fat guy smell bad? He just farted diarrhea.

What's the problem with blonde people? They don't have black hair.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was stapeled on to the elephant.

Whats black and yellow and makes you laugh? A bus full of niggers driving of a cliff

He is outside, running for it, Erron, seriously who is We? I thought you where an author.

A little boy walks up to his father and asks him a question, "Daddy, how are babies born?" His father then replies in an enthusiastic manner, "You see, I stuck my dick in your mom's vag and started pounding. Apparently two condoms defeat the purpose."

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

why did the chicken cross the road? to form the basis of an extremly popular jokewhich would grace the schoolyards around the world for centurys to come!

How does a black man cut his hair? At a hairdresser

A woman is shopping at a grocery store. She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line. "You must be single." the clerk says. Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?". "Because you're ugly".

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

Why was bobby late for school? Because he drove off a bridge.

How do you drown in a tea cup? You find a big enough tea cup.

Dylan is a person

And so the Lord said unto John "Come forth and receive eternal life," but John came fifth, and won a toaster instead.

Jimmy Saville

i am an idiot if you read this outloud your a dumb ass

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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