Why didn't the man cross the road? He was paralyzed.

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and have a wonderful time at what many people believe to be the most magical place on Earth.

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What did the litlle boy get for christmas? The toy which he could only dream about. His father got cancer.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Domestic violence is a crime. She should leave her abusive partner and seek help.

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Why did the fat person build a lift in his house? He was caring for his terminally ill mother which has a cancer and got both her legs amputated due to the cancer spreading to her legs.

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A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing? I dont know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

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Three head lice are drinking beer on a scalp, then they are killed by a high strength medical shampoo.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots. The bartender says "Rough day, eh?" The man says "Yes, very rough." He then goes home and hangs himself.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? Two, one to change it and the other to hold the ladder so the first man won't fall and hurt himself.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? Whatever his name happens to be.

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas?? Nobody knows because he had no arms, therefore he could not open any presents.

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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Whats 9 plus 10? 19

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Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

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What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A horrible boating accident.

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For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

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A Christian asks God why there is so much pain and suffering in the world. God does not answer.

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Guy: do u wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah its to long Girl: Do u wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Actually that would make me very self concious I have ghonorrea and would appreciate not having to tell one.

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i dont hate yu i jus really really dislike yu!!!

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*knock knock* "Who's there?" "It's the police, I'm afraid your husband was in a car crash and died."

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What's wrong with shooting an african american? Everything, it's murder.

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Three blind mice walk into a pub. They are all unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humor from it would be exploitative.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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