penis that is all

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Q: When is the best date to walk out your door in New York? A: 9/11

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Why did the man burp? Because gases escaped from his stomach and came out of his mouth.

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why was the spoiled girl running from her parents? because they weren't her parents, they were kidnappers and were going to sell her into underground sex trafficking markets where she would probably spend the rest of her life being a slave.

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How many penguins does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Penguins cannot screw in lightbulbs because they have wings instead of fingers or opposable thumbs, as humans do.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was being dragged by a truck

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() () () () () () () ------ *__________* yo can go %$*# yourself =~~ 0

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How did the jew reply to the racist comment? Judaism is not a race, it's a religion.

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how many milkshakes does it take to bring all the boys to the yard?

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what does wtf stand for? what? i was asking you!

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L's I's that took Viagra.

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Ask me if I am an orange. "Are you an orange?" No.

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This episode featuring an all new nonspeaking character, who never goes on screen.

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Yo mama is an upstanding member of her community.

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What did the man say before he killed himself? I am going to kill myself

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When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much... and after being married for 39 years... They get divorced

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I love boobs

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Whats Black and White and Red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Why mommy upset cause wet and sticky make mommy upset

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on a deserted island when a genie appears and offers each of them one wish. Before making any decisions on what to wish for, the discuss what the smartest choice is. They return to the genie. The brunette wishes to return home, as does the blonde. The redhead wishes to be able to walk again. The genie denies the wish because to walk again she would have to wish for two legs. The genie leaves and the redhead eventually dies of dehydration as she cannot move and the water that she reaches from the ocean contains salt which dehydrates her faster than the water hydrates her.

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Why did the baby stop crying? I hit him with a brick.

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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