Banana

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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Dance is a sport

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What's worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? 1 dead baby in 12 trash cans.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, that was a turkey. Oh.

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Why was the Jewish boy afraid of an oven? The last oven malfunctioned and killed his father.

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Why did the war end? Because one country surrendered. They were getting beat pretty bad, it seemed like the only viable option.

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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Alchohol.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

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YOU

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whats worse than watching your house burn to the ground? Sarah Palin becoming president

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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A Jew and a German meet by chance in a bar. They exchange pleasantries and order drinks. At the end of the evening they leave, having made a friend.

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Knock knock Who's there doorbell Doorbell who Doorbells can't knock

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What do you call a comedian who can;t make people laugh? A bad comedian.

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An Asian walks out of the library.

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Why? Because racecar.

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What do you call a black man that steal from your shop? A thief

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Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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How are Steve Jobs and The iPhone the same? They got progressively thinner over time.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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