What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? They were my friends.

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Sir, do you know what time it is? Yes, it is 5:15 PM

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How do you get your little brother to stop kicking you? Stick his feet in the garbage disposal.

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the more I study the more I know, the more I know the more I forget, the more I forget the less I know, why study?

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Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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Are you a tree

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What happened to the fat japanese guy? His house was destroyed by the earthquake.

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Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

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Question what is blue and floats Answer everything that is blue that foes not sink

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Roses are red violets are blue... Only not really. Actually light is reflected off them and these colors show up soo....

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Knock knock Nobody's home.

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i have yougurt mit traktor

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What is holocaust victim's favorite food? Hamburgers.

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A priest, a monk, and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order drinks and keep the conversation to non-controversial topics.

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Okay, So a Cow, a Lumberjack and a Fireman walk into a bar. The cow asks the bartender, "What kind of milk do you have?" The bartender looks confused and asks," Why would a cow want milk?" The cow replies,"I've been producing milk all my life and I've never had a chance to try it. I'd just like some milk." The bartender replies,"Okay we have whole milk, 2%, and skim milk. What'll you have?" The cow says,"Whole milk, I want the whole deal." The bartender obliges. Next the Lumberjack comes up to the bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The lumberjack asks for some syrup. The bartender inquiries,"What kind of syrup would you like?" The lumberjack answers,"Pure Maple, imitation, or chocolate. All work for me." The bartender turns and pours a shot of pure maple syrup and turns away. Finally the fireman walks up the the bartender and says, "Can I have a glass of water?" The bartender turn and ask inquisitively,"Why?" The fireman quickly replies,"TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!"...

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Where did Sally go during the explosion? Everywhere.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? i have no idea but i hope he got to the other side safely.

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So there's A blonde, a brunette and a redhead at a lake. they all swim across and have a picnic at the other end.

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What god did Bill believe in? No god, Bill is an athiest

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Fool me once, shame on you Fool me twice, shame on me Fool me 3 times, oh now you're just being a jerk

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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What's the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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