- Anti Joke

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Knock knock whose there nobody you have no friends remember

Why did the Teacher cry? Because he was sad.

Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

Where did the little boy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

How do you get your little brother to stop kicking you? Stick his feet in the garbage disposal.

Once there was a rich man who lived in a castle on a hill. One fine morning who awoke and decided to go downstairs to make a cup of tea. As he switched on the kettle, he realised he had no tea bags, and so, went to the local shops to buy some – but when he arrived back, his magnificent castle had been burnt down to the ground. The man, obviously shocked, looked around in hope for some evidence as to who would commit this awful crime, but he saw nothing, apart from a little green man running off into the distance. The man calls insurance and they give him a mansion. One morning in the man’s fine mansion, he decided he wanted a nice cup of tea, so went downstairs, discovered he had no teabags, went to the shop to purchase some and came back to find his mansion was no more than a pile of ash. Once again he looked around and saw nothing other than a little green man running off into the distance. The man calls insurance for a second time and they give him a normal house. One morning in the man’s normal house, he feels the need for a cup of tea. But has no teabags, he goes to the shop to get some and comes back to find his normal house has burnt down. In the distance a little green man is running away. Insurance give the man a small cottage. And one morning in this small cottage, the man goes downstairs to make a cup of tea, but once again he has no teabags. Off to the shops he went to buy some but discovered, as he approached his cottage on the way home, that it had been burnt down. He looked around to see the now familiar sight of a little green man running off into the distance. Insurance give him a caravan. One morning in the caravan, the man discovers, while attempting to make a cup of tea, that he has no teabags. So, naively, he goes to the shop to get some and comes back to his caravan to find it burnt down. He looked up and saw a little green man running off into the distance. The now annoyed insurance company give the man a tent. One sunny morning in the man’s tent - he feels the need for tea, but has no teabags; he goes to the shop to buy some and arrives back at his tent to find a little green man holding a can of gasoline and some matches. The man asks: “are you the one who has been burning down all my houses?” And the little green man replies: “No.”

What did the man say to the cat? Nothing it had his tongue

FRED CLEAN YOUR ROOM! Ok mom, I'm done "Nothing is cleaned" Well.. I tried

Parents are very similar to trees. They fall over when hit repeatedly with an ax.

How do you stop the unstoppable You dont

A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

Why doesn't Michael Jackson play with Macaulay Culkin? Because he's dead.

when life gives you lemons, you should go to the hospital as you may have dyslexia

What did the framer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

a child logs on to anti-joke.com and proceeds to post dead baby jokes and jokes with punchlines that suit the build up. i am bitterly disappointed as are all the other fans of anti-joke.com who understand the humor of anti jokes

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a raging hard-on and was leering at him.

what did one cupcake say to the other cupcake? nothing because they were both cupcakes.

whats the easiest way to kill a baby? let it live a long and meaningful life, prolonging the inevitable death of old age.

Why did the man cry... He got hit with a fridge

roses are blue violets, are orange, i am color blind

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wioFUrwny1c

Why are black people so tall ? Genetics. duh.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? It is unlikely that this situation would occur, as tractors are very large objects and losing one would be very hard, furthermore, tractors are vital agricultural vehicles and most farmers would take care in not misplacing one.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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