A fat guy at starbucks, waiting for his regular 160lbs breakfest. why is the 10 black kid crying? he's hungry and there is no starbucks in somalia .

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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What's sadder than the Holocaust? Not a lot of things because it was probably one of the most depressing series of events that happened in the 20th Century.

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http://citizenmcgeedotcom.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/borat-banana-hammock.jpg?w=300

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Why is my girlfriend pregnant? We wanted an abortion

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One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Knock! Knock! Who's There? The Police. Open the damn door. Nobody Is Home.

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Roses are red, tires are black, why is your chest as flat as your back!

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A muslim walks into an airport. He then buys his ticket, boards his plane, and his flown to his proper destination.

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Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

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yo momma so stupid she should probably be taken to a specialist as she may have a learning disability.

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what's 9+10? 19, not 21

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An Irishman, Scotsman and Englishman were jumping into well because they were told whatever they shouted when they fell they landed on. I lied and they died, hehe

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"Knock knock," "Who's there?" "Black man," "Black man who?" "Gimme yo money!"

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What did the man say to the drug dealer? I'd like some drugs

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Why did the sperm cross the road? It didn't, as sperm cells have tails not legs, and are therefore incapable of crossing roads.

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What's green and has wheels? PAIN!!! I lied about the green and the wheels.

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What do an eagle and a badger have in common? They both live underground...except the eagle

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Q:Why did the boy cry? A: because his mom was hit by a bus Q: why did the boy wipe his face? A:he was covered in his mother blood and threatened all the witness who saw him push his mother into the bus

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They are both purple except for the rabbit.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks "what will you have". The man says "Friendship" and bursts out crying. At this point he is making a scene and security will have too be called.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a bat and the others a watermelon

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Why did the monkey die? he was stapled to a grenade

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What is the difference between a plum and an elephant? One is purple, and not an elephant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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