Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack" Ducks don't talk. But if it were to say something it would probably mention how it is concerned about the fact that the majority of people on the internet don't know what ducks say to each other.

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"Doctor, Doctor! I feel like I'm a dinner roll!" Yes, well that's a side effect of your brain cancer.

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Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

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What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

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when two guys walk in somewhere late together you say. hay perv hay ert.

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

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dark humor is like food... not everyone gets it

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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Want to hear a joke about Potassium? So do I.

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what did the american say to the other american? get out of the way i gotta go to mcdonalds!

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What Happends When Sawdust Gets in your mouth You poop logs

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What did the framer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

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Why are Ethiopians so fast? Because antelope are also very fast.

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There once was a man from Peru. He dreamt he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright, In the middle of the night, To find a man had murdered his wife and children.

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Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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roses are reddish voilets are blueish if it weren't for christmas we'd all be jewish

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Why did the guy kill his friends? He didn't, he doesn't have any friends

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Im getting sick of holocaust jokes cant you Nazi Annefrankly they are dumb

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What did the lawyer say to the Black man? Your case came through, the murderer of your wife has been caught

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What happened when the blonde girl threw a grenade? The enemy pulled the pin and threw it back

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Anal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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