Why did the football coach go to the bank? To make a deposit

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. So was my son after I beat him to death.

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apple pie.

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Roses are red Olives are Black come to my and will smoke some crack

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Why was the potatoe hot Cuz I cooked it

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When life gives you lemon squeeze it in someone's face

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Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? statutory rape

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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What call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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Why was the T-Rex so bad at math? Cause it was stupid

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you.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing ? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Well it cant be sarah

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I scream, you scream, we all scream for shit

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? - Because she had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up again? - Because she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her? - Because she had no friends. Knock knock. -Who's there? Not Sally.

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What happened when you heard this joke? You didn't laugh.

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What advice did the cat give to the man? Nothing because it's a cat.

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What goes up a hill with 4 legs and comes down with 3? A horse, which, upon reaching the top of the hill, has one of its legs chopped off, which is when the horse proceeds down the hill.

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Woman's Rights

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Why didn't Susan go to school on show-and-tell day? Because she's dead.

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A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

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What do you can an astronaut with an apple? Never mind, I have a boner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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