An aspiring lawyer walks into a Bar. He will find out if he passed in a few months.

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How do you stop an oncoming bus? You push a stroller in front of it.

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What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? Lots of stuff.

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Why dont polar bears eat peguins? Because they live on opposite ends of the earth and it would be physically imposible!!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Is your refrigerator running? If so, you are on drugs, and should see help.

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One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

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What did the tree say to himself? Gee-oma-tree( get it geometry say it outloud)

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Whats better then winning a gold medal at the special olympics????? NOT BEING RETARDED!!!!!!!

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Knock knock. Who's there? To. To who? To whom.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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Your mama so stupid. She tried to climb over a glass wall to see the other side

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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Some guy pretends to be Santa on the street. He touches a little girl and says "It's okay i'm Santa" So the pedophile Santa molestes the little girl. The little girl goes home and says that Santa touched her so the parents go looking for this guy. And then they find out he died of a heart attack.

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What do you call a cat that plays football? Weird.

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Why wasn't the boy at school? Obviously it was the weekend.

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What kind of bee's make milk? Booobies!

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What color is the white cup? It's blue because it has two handles.

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Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin "Boy, it sure is getting hot in here," and the other muffin replies "yeah, that's because it's an oven."

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This is not a good joke.

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What did Steegers say when he lost his TARDIS? "The niggers stole it again!"

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What looks like half an Apple? The other half.

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There was a Indain and cowboy hunting together. the Indian put his ear down to the gound and said "buffulo come". The cowboy said he didnt see anything when the Indian said, "its Sticky!!!

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gay people

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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