"It's A Bird!!!" "It's A Plane!!!" "No, It's not either of those things."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red Violets are blue Urine is yellowish and shit is usually brown... That's it, I was just remembering the colors of some stuffs

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your mamma's so dumb, she's had problems functioning in society, due to illiteracy problems, and a general incomprehension of her surroundings and own thoughts.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

"How come the week takes so long but the weekend goes by so fast" "Because there are five days in the week and two in the weekend"

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Hey Eliz, just a final thought, if and when I die (hey I am your step dad after all, dont forget I am four years older than you now! So ill die first anyway, hopefully) Promise me that you will call me on the phone and either yell SNAKE ANSWER ME SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! Or BOSS ANSWER ME BOOOOOOOOOOSS! Never mind, I never liked videogames ironically, but hey, its funny, Suddenly this Boss guy shows up, and I feel like I have something in common with someone! A game character anyway, and its a fucking boring game too, just sneaking around, then you got to well pay people to build shit and I shut it off by then... ...Finally the nurses are here... Those guys again, hey guys, I cant speak nor remember what button to press to delete shit, but I heard bogosexuals with an h, dont get the message, you see the man with broken fingers there, go get me female nurses or... They sleeping? And not with me? Okay guys, get me out of here, I am humiliating myself in front of my uh... Frienddaughtersisterthing as for the rest of you fucks, has it ever seemed like I have ever cared about your inferior opinions above my superhuma... I am drun or something huh guys? 60 MG valium? You fucking murderers! Well will that other dru.. Fine then... Nero The End? Seriously flaggots! I cant stop typing, just get me out of this... Wheelchair? When did that happen? Well roll me out then! And please you know, fill that code thing and the terms and all that.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between getting hit by a car and being struck by lightning? Impossible to tell, they are 2 entirely different circumstances with limited certainties.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their trash away in clear plastic bags? A. So Italians can go window shopping.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why are blondes so dumb? They aren't dumb they just have prejudice against them

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two nerds walk into a bar. The effects of alcohol do not discriminate based upon the social status of said consumer.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Patiant: Doctor Doctor i feel like a pair of curtains Doctor: ok Patiant: what shall i do ? Doctor: Go how and stop wasting my time

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What is worse than getting the wrong haircut at a hair salon? A terrible shooting at your local Chuck-E-Cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How did the girl with no arms fall out the window? I pushed her.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A Finn, a Swede and A Norwegian went to an island. The Norwegian shot them all.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you get twenty black men in a tiny car? Saw them into pieces.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

barack osama

thumb_up thumb_down +46

How do you kill a bunch of flies in one swat? Smack an African kid in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Go home and hang yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are black Violets are Black I'm Hellen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a school bus full of white kids? A school bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What did the anorexic girl do for thanksgiving? A: Nothing, she was paralyzed from a fall 2 days prior and nobody had found her yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's grosser than gross? Grossest.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops