There once was a boy walking down the street. He got shot in the head. He died.

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There were 3 men on a rough each granted one wish to make. The first guy sees a bird and runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a bird and he flies away. The second guy sees a butterfly so he too runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a butterfly and flies away. The third guy telling himself those were all stupid wishes, makes up his mind what he is going to wish for so he runs to the ledge and just after he says "I wish to be" he trips on the ledge and says, "shit!" So his wish was granted and shit he became. The End.

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whats the difference between valium and m & ms ? one is,nt a tasty little chocolate

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sky silverstein

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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One day a man runs into a bar. He is already drunk and jumps through the window. This is illeagal, so he was arrested, stoned and killed.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra but like he actually did not a bar a womens breats.

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9

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

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Your mother is so fat she sometimes eats a normal sized portion of food and does not feel satisfied

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What's the difference in a red sports car and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a red sports car in my garage.

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If you play a Justin Bieber album backwards, I swear you can hear satanic messages... but even worse, if you play it forward, you hear Justin Bieber.

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A doctor walks into a bar, he stumbles backwards as he is taking his coat of, and the barman chuckles.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? no eyed dear what do you call a dear with no head? dead!

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Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

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roses are red violets are too im bleeding

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Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

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What did the dog say to the cat? "Bark."

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose body parts were all adequate and thus could not perform any odd sexual acts upon himself.

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minced oaths

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How do you get a blonde to drown herself? Isolate her in an aqueous environment

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Why did the black guy have a nice sterio? He has a well paying job and decided to treat himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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