I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is the difference between a rock and a pencil? Your Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

hey i just met you and this is crazy i just had bath salts your face looks tasty!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When Life throws you lemons you might be hallucinating

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Dumbledore: Yo mamma's so fat --- her Patronus is a cake! Voldemort: ...bitch!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

My daughter is dying of AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I like my coffee like I like my women Without a penis

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Jerry Sandusky prefers twenty eight year olds. 20 eight year olds.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what did the shark do when he died.....

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the kid say when his parents were killed? Nothing. He's a vegetable

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what's worse than stubbing your toe on cement being a Jew during the holcaust

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Many people of many races do many things every day.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walks into a McDonald's and proceeds to buy a burger, unfortunately a man was robbing the fast food restaurant, what did the man do. Buy a burger

thumb_up thumb_down +32

knock knock who's there a black person SHIT!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you get when you put two landsharks together? Three landsharks.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red Violets are blue You're daughter has terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops