i want justin beiber to release more albums so that i can not buy them

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If through some strange space-time paradox, Chuck Norris ever had to fight himself, Chuck Norris would-- What am I saying, that would never happen!

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whats worse than the smell of nail polish? burning jews.

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How do you get someone to come out of the closet? Unlock it

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What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

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who should be competing in the paralympics? Brent the retard!

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If there's a clown in a blender, how do you get him out? Tostitos.

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Hey! What dhujv hushichk jgdwrggy man? Go home Sally, you're drunk

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A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was feeling suicidal due to an existential crisis.

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Everything I did, Was just a mistake like you.

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Knock knock Who's there It's a policeman informing you that your parents have been killed in a car crash. Your Dad, who has been struggling with substance abuse and depression, found out his wife had been cheating on him, and in a drunken rage, wrapped the car around a tree.

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What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

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What did little Jimmy get for Christmas? Presents because he wasn't poor.

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What do you call a dog eating a dead dog? A hungry dog

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock (who's there?) Not Sally.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

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R2-D2 is quite possibly the most vulgar character on the set of Star Wars. Every word he says is bleeped out.

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The BCS

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What's worse than stepping on chewing gum A clown throwing bricks at orphans

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A military serviceman returns home from a tour of duty to find his wife in bed with another man. He feels betrayed and files for divorce, then later meets a more faithful woman with whom he has a more fulfilling relationship.

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why'd the chicken cross the road? he didn't what kind of farmer lets their chickens out on the streets, they get crunk you know

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops