How do we achieve world peace? KILL EVERYBODY. Nobody can fight when they're dead.

What do you call a fat legless over weight black man called Tom. Tom.

What is a chicken? Because 7, 8, 9.

what has a huge nose and is jewish??? Henery Miller!!!!!

Knock knock Who's there? No-one who??? *Silence*

A mushroom walks into a bard and the bartender admonishes him and tells him to leave. The mushroom says "Aw, c'mon...you stupid jerk!"

why did the man die? he was shot

Why does Santa Clause not have children? Because he only "comes" once a year

Dr.Octagonapus.... BLAAAAAArGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jackalope :)

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: In order to avoid being mauled by a coyote.

What's red and can't find a family? A fire hydrant

Whats worse then dieing and going to hell? Waking up and going to school.

Whats brown and sticky? - A brown stick.

Q: What's long, hard, and full of sea men? A: A submarine.

i hate black people

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken had just escaped from the slaughterhouse where he witnessed the brutal decapitation of his entire family and in his heightened emotional state was unable to map out a safer and more sensible route.

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Repeatedly raped by her alcoholic, child molesting father.

Q: What did the German say to the Jew? A: Guten Tag.

What is white and can't walk? A PVC Pipe.

Why did the retarded man jump off a building to commit suicide? He didn't try to commit suicide. He was mentally retarted and didn't know any better.

What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

A straight-A star quarterback was about to throw the game-winning pass during the final game of his school's season. If he got this pass their undefeated record would have been completed for the last 50 years. Before he threw the pass, he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

Robin get in the batmobile!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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