Bartender: What are you having? Sally: Can I have a martini? Bartender: How do you want it? Sally: I want it tall and black, like my man.

Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

A midget walks into a bar. No one cares.

What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? Just about anything because child mortality is not funny.

Judge: Why did you hit your wife with a hockey stick, Mr. Johnson? Mr. Johnson: My father and mother were mutually abusive when I grew up. As you may have guessed, this gave me a skewed view of the dynamics between husband and wife, as well as causing me to hide my emotions from myself as a defense mechanism. As a sociopath, I feel no remorse for this occurrence.

How do women learn to drive? Drivers ED.

Three blind mice walk into a pub. They are all unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humor from it would be exploitative.

Why didn't Jesus like pizza? Because he didn't exist.

8=>

Yo mama so fat she has to wear large clothes

What do you call an armless, legless man hanging on a wall? Art.

Person 1: What did the woman say when - Person 2: I know! It doesnt matter, shes a woman

Whats the difference between a pizza and your opinion? I asked for the pizza

Whats worse than finding a worm in an apple? having a worm sized penis.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Chaney is a dumb b****

How are trees and friends alike? They are both subject to fall when struck with an axe.

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

Why did the chicken cross the road? AIDs.

A Hispanic, a Caucasian, and an African American walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?"

Q: Why didn't the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

What do you call a black man repairing a car? A mechanic who has worked very hard to gain his qualifiaction.

A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

Roses are red , Violets are blue You little dumb ass bitch Ain't fuckin' with yoouuuuuu

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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