How about that airplane food? Ive never been on a plane you tell me

Reporter: So, how do you feel knowing you don't have some place to work when you walk out of your house because of that tornado? Guy: "Well, it feels even worse knowing I don't have a house to walk out of. . ."

Why did the tomato blush? A tomato's complexion is already red so it simply appears to be blushing

There's a car about to hit me.

John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

Why can't february march Because april may

Why did the audience laugh at Chaz Bono? Because he told a funny joke.

Q. What did the man say when he beat his video game? A. "I beat my video game." Q. What did the man say after his favorite sports team missed the playoffs? A. "My favorite sports team missed the playoffs." Q. What did the man say when a murderer was in his house? A. Nothing. He was dead.

why are you adopted? cause no one loved you.

What would Loiter Squad be if the characters were white? A show.

tight butthole 4 lyfe.

You want to hear a joke. Sure. A black president. Oh wait...

Seriously tho, too much sex? I need to know dog.

What's sadder than a lost puppy? A dead puppy.

How does Bob Marley like his donuts? He doesn't, he tragically died of melanoma in 1981.

What did Helen Keller do when she found a dead body? Nothing.

O: How do you kill a black man? A: Shoot him

Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a bus.

Whats black and blue and doesnt bruise? a bruise.

Whats worse than burning your foot? Getting it eaten off by a cannibal.

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

I'm going to live to be 300 years old or die trying!

Knock knock! who's there? Excuse me sir can I have a moment to talk to you about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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