Why did the woman say ow? She was shot in the foot

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What Do You Call a Hawk in Virginia? A Hawk What Do you Call a Hawk that lives in Virginia? Virgian Hawk

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What did the octopus say to the squid? Nothing, considering these two species can't speak.

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Lol XD,now that is bad ass of you to say that, what about her, does she get to go around too?

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Irish sobriety

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Orange. Don't be ridiculous. Oranges can't talk.

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? She is a goner.

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A man walks into a bar. The other patrons suddenly start to run away screaming, because he had just been hit by a bus.

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There are two hippopotamus' in a pond cooling off from the hot day. One is named Nathaniel IV and the other Timothy. Timothy asks Nathaniel, "Nathaniel, what day is it today?" Nathaniel then replies," I believe it is Tuesday." Timothy is taken back then replies," How odd. I could've sworn it was Wednesday."

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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What does water taste like? Water

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A bartender walks into a bar. He serves alcohol for a living.

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John Travolta went to a seafood disco last week.

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How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

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What's red and looks like blue paper? Red paper

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up you retarded poet!

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Q: What's big, brown, and smell like crap? A: Turd.

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Why did Dr. Phil fall of the swing? He couldn't figure out the couples problem.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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Why is the sky blue? As the light from our Sun shines into the atmosphere, most of the colors are able to reach the Earth’s surface uninterrupted. However, because blue light has a wavelength that is the same size as the particulates in the air, this light is scattered in every direction. This blue light bounces from particulate to particulate until it eventually reaches your eyes. For this reason, no matter what direction you look in the sky, it appears to be blue. This blue light originated with the Sun, was bounced around in the sky many times, and then eventually reached your eyes.

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Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

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joe paterno doesn't walk into a police station

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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