What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

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what happened when a chicken laid an egg? it died

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Why did the girl commit suicide? She has been abused severely for seven years by her pet kangaroo.

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What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

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Q.Why did Bruno Mars marry the blond? A.Because it was a beautiful night and he was looking for something DUMB to do.

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What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks heavily and dies of alcohol poisoning.

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knock knock. who's there greench greench who greenchicken feathers

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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what is small and is not fair Mitt Romneys tax rate

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There was once a man who went to the store and walked across a bridge and bought toothpaste and yelled at a hobo and went home and took a nap and then he went back to the park where he talked to an english teacher who told him not to use run-on sentences or she would slap him with a fish.

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Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says "Sorry, we don't allow horses in here." The horse then leaves.

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There are two bears in a shower. One bear says "pass the soap." the other bear says "no soap. Radio."

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Why couldn't Jimmy run in the track race? Because he has been paralyzed since he was 3, due to a horrible accident

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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two mormons missionaries knock on a door they are welcomed into the home and treated with kindness later the family is baptized. the mormons return home with a sense of accomplishment and purpose.

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Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

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Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? A. One is white, plastic and dangerous to young children, the other is a plastic bag.

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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What's funnier than New York City? ADAM STOCK! By Logan in South Dakota

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What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

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Whats the differance between a pizza and a black person? a pizza can feed a family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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