What is shorter than a toddler? A jewish lifespan.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's invisble and smells like bananas? My mailbox.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's big and black? An ant i lied about in being big

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the groom have cold feet? Because his socks were slightly damp resulting in evaporation and the cooling of his feet, as well as the cold weather in December.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did the black man break up with his white girlfriend? Because he didn't love her anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There Are 2 People A lack Person And A White Person, The Black Person Looks Over At The White Person And Said, "Hi Tyrone!"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

p lkl

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Whats smells like a banana and is purple? A banana, I lied about the purple thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose body parts were all adequate and thus could not perform any odd sexual acts upon himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there Not Sarah

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Charlotte Bobcats

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a black man with an afro? Whatever his name happens to be.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why are trees green? I have no idea

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops