What's the diffrents beetween a carrot and a dead baby? One I like to eat in my soup, the other one s a carrot.

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So there is two clowns. Pickle and Jim. If you were asked who was funnier, you would probably say pickle. Well you would be wrong. It's Jim.

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How do you make a doctor cry? Kill his family.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

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Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

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EVERYBODY GIVE THIS A THUMBS UP AND SEND IT TO YOUR FRIENDS AND LETS SEE IF WE CAN TAKE OVER THE MOST LIKED JOKE.

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whats 2+2? 1

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What do you get when you cross sodium citrate, citric acid, benzyl alcohol, monoethanolamine, sodium benzoate, gylcol disterate, FD&C Yellow #5, ammonium lauryl sulfate, methylisothiazolinone, fragrances/perfumes, FD&C Blue #1, sodium chloride, zinc pyrithione, methylchloroisothiazolinone, ammonium xylenesulfonate, ammonium laureth sulfate, cetyl alcohol, cocamide, guar hydropropyltrimonium chloride, 1-Decene, homopolymer, hydrogenated, trimethylolpropane tricaprylate and water? Head & Shoulders Dandruff Shampoo for Fine-Oily Hair

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette was stranded on a deserted island. A genie appeared and said nothing, because genies doesn't exist

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Yo' Mama is so fat, her driver's license says, "picture continued on other side."

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A horse walks into a bar...n

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A blonde rubs a lamp hoping to find a genie that will grant her 3 wishes. It didn't happen.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After ten minutes at 375 degrees, they were pulled out, allowed to cool, and eaten.

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What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? You should ice those to preven swelling aron the eyes

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Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

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What was the leg less and armless mans favorite type of music? Nubstep

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dead puppy.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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What's worse than an apple with a worm? Serial Murder.

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A wise man once said...... I am a wise man

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What do u get when u mix a dinosaur and a lesbian? A-lick-alot-a-puss

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How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

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Tried to type an ascii of a penis, failed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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