Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

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LOL i just pissed on Hitlers grave! Shoudn't killed the Jews BITCH!

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A wanted man walks into a bar. The police come and take him to jail.

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What did Steven Hawkings say as he fell down the stairs? .................

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A cat and a dog walk into a bar. The bartender says "it's refreshing to see perennial enemies enjoying each others company".

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How many gays does it take to turn a lightbulb? 1

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What do you say to a woman in the kitchen? Cook me some food.

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life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

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A Black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Who is driving? The black guy. Its his car.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I forgot the rest, Don't laugh at me...

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Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

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What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Are you okay? Here, let me take you to the hospital." The woman is now healing nicely.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Your life

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What would Abraham Lincoln do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the lid of his coffin.

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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National security?

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An Indian child is born with three arms. After being ridiculed his whole life he kills himself at age 19.

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What's black and white and nailed to the floor? A skunk that's nailed to the floor.

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Johnny had 100 chocolate bars. He ate 95 and gave 3 to his friend. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes

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What do you do to someone you hate very much? You kill them.

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Why can't Bob go to the store? He's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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