A man is flailing his arms in the ocean. Help me, I'm drowning!, he screams. Some dude runs into the water, drags the man out, and is proclaimed a Hero.

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Jack Oliver has a Bowl.

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What is a long boring story that no one will ever want to read? the life of Sarah Palin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who's there? Alzheimers

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle!"

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What time is it when it is time to get a watch? About 4:30, unless its a monday.

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Yo mama's so fat, she weighs over 400 pounds.

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Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He was in a terrible car crash in which the fuel tank exploded.

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why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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What did the oak tree say to the pine tree? Nothing tress dont speak regardless of the kind.

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What did the comedian tell the audience? A well thought out joke that anyone can relate to because that is what the point of a joke is.

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Why was the fish disappointed with his grades? They were all below C-level!

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What is worse than 3 lesbians in a telephone booth? 6 squirrels donkey punching your urethra.

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Why did the black man rob a KFC? He was in a very difficult financial situation and was worried his kids would go homeless. After scouting various locations he found the security at a nearby KFC was non-existent.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you, f*** you.

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a duck walked up to a lemon aid stand and he said to the man running the stand... quack

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jack and jill went up the hill to have a little fun. that dumb ass jill forgot the pill and now they have a son

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What's worse than kissy face pictures on facebook? The porn pictures on facebook.

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Why did the black man run from the officer? The officer was trying to perform non-voluntary sexual acts against him.

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How do you attach a nipple tassle to a purple honey badger? Refridgerator

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What's worse than dying of boredom? ...Being stabbed.

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A Catholic priest has the choice between spending an hour with a young girl or a young boy. Which does he choose? Neither because that's illegal and completely immoral for a priest.

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Can you guess what one black child got while passing through an all-white neighborhood in the middle of the night? Home safely.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His whole family attempted to cross the road approximately 30 seconds earlier and were immediately struck by a moving vehicle traveling at 45 miles per hour. He crossed the road to try to comfort his family while they took their final breathes of life. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a man that had recently been laid off from his union job and came down with a disease that is considered uncurable by modern science.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops