How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None, now stop hallutinating about wood chuck.

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So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

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Q: How do all 5 gay guys walk? A: In One Direction

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Q - Want to hear a joke? A - Me Too.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

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Why was the comedian so funny? Because that's his job, and if he wasn't funny he would have to become a hobo.

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? You shoot at the blonde. Causing her to fall, but I have a feeling she will be pretty mad!

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How many rats live in a llamas stomach? the cats pajamas

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at rhyming...... TITS

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How do you leave a jackass in suspense? I'll tell you later.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? (I eat ma poo) Haha. ~Ali M.~

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Knock Knock Whos There? I'p I'p who? HAHAHAHA

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Q.whats black and white and red all over A. half a zebra

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

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Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Knock Knock ... Knock Knock The man proceeds to leave.

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black guy graduating high school

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Sloths

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What has 4 legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you a pool table

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Roses are red violets are blue What the heck do flowers Have to do with You?

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What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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How do you make an electrician fall over? You hit him hard with a lamp

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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