Why didn't the priest move in with the two rabbi? Because having three adults between the ages of 18 and 65 occupying the dwelling would have violated their insurance policy.

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why is coltin alexander such a duche? because no one loves him

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Nero, its not that, people are leaving left and right, you where right when you told me that I was holding into the remains of a rotting corpse, the underground society is dead and money alone will never bring it back, but I got the funds and you the talent, is there nothing that can be achieved? You are a lawyer, you write novels, you live a family life, you work for who the hell knows what organization, is this what you traded your, or if I may say, our legacy for? I dont suspect you Nero, I am disappointed in you, part of me wishes you where a backstabber, rather than the one that just quit.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

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What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One's fun to smash and the other is a watermelon.

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DERP

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Why was Timmy crying when he got home? His family was dead in a pile with a pitchfork going through each of their bodies

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if a kayak was stuck in a tree with its headlights on, how many pancakes stacked will it take to get to the moon? none because snakes dont have armpits

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's treehouse? No. It's quite nice, her father made it himself.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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"This is Jesus Christ to Tim Tebow. Please leave me alone. Don't you know that my day off, is Sunday?"

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What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

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if your were a slu* what would you do dance on a pole or get a tattoo

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What is just as real as a unicorn? World peace

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How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? No amount of them could ever figure it out. They all tremble with fear in the dark.

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What did the two best friends do before the asteroid hit the Earth? They hugged each other goodbye.

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Why is Obama black Because his parents were black

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When Santa got stuck up the chimney he began to shout.. But he didn't shout for long as he soon succumbed to the toxic smoke and died of carbon monoxide poisoning

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

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When life gives you lemons, throw them away. Nobody likes lemons.

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Q: What weighs 6 ounces, is extremely dangerous, and lives in a tree? A: A sparrow with a machine gun.

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What do you get if you cross a bulldog with a schitzu? A half breed prone to allergies and breathing problems.

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How to you get a clown off a swing? You shoot it in the face.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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