A duck walks by to a lemonade stand. He says to the man running the stand, "Quack."

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*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. Because, often, friends go out together in social situations.

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XD, You must really like me Nero, do you think people have problems telling us apart here?

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Black Person Eating Fried Chicken

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A worm slowly crawled through the ground, only to be eaten by an incoming bird.

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John Hammond from 'Jurassic Park' looks like KFC's Colonel Sanders. Which is ironic, since chickens are descended from dinosaurs...

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Why did the boy eat the worm? Because his parents were starving him, and it was all he had.

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Why did Ramsey fall off the seesaw? Because while he was playing with friends on a seesaw at a nearby Country Club, a very angry and insane man who had many handicaps, decided to solve his problems by killing someone. A funeral was held a week later.

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What is one plus one? I don't want to do math.

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why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

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Click thumb up i will be eternally grateful

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What do you call a blonde that just got hit by a school bus? Dead.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bill Bill Who? Builder

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what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

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Two fish were in a tank one said...."ill drive!"

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Ok so 3 guys walk into a bar... the fourth one ran.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Because I'm blind

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taking out the trash... at night

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The teacher hands out tests to the students and some of the students say to the teacher "what does 'no grade' mean?" The teacher responds, "Oh I need to grade them still.")

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Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he saw some pandas spooning.

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There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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