What do you call a dead cat on the side of the road? Kitty litter

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What is the difference between a cow and a pig? To get to the other side.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like your mom Give me some glue

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Trashcan!

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How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his wife and kids.

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Come in

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really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

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Why did the blond crave hotdogs for breakfast? She was likely suffering a sodium deficiency from violently throwing up the night before.

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Why does an elephant lay on it's back with its feet in the air? To trip birds.

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Why did the black man go to the back of the bus? The only unoccupied seats were back there.

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Why can't a T-Rex clap his hands? Because its dead

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What is better than one wors roll - two wors rolls

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others don't

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Why was the wife not in the kitchen? The husband's gay.

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what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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Why didn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it made him mean.

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How do you make a dead baby float? -you take your foot off its head.

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A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

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How the hell did Susie get on the swing anyway I don't know you tell me?

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An American guy, Chinese guy, and Black guy are on a boat. Who jumps off first? Hopefully no one jumps off, especially because the ocean current is strong. They should call the coast guard if they are lost and find a safe way back to shore.

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knock knock who's there? to to who? to whom*

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Why did the black man get arrested? Because he was in possession of powder cocaine, which is a schedule I narcotic in the United States. This incident probably would not have happened if an end was put to the war on drugs, which is notorious for disproportionately targeting blacks and other minority groups, even though whites are statistically more likely to use such substances.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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