Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

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What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

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Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

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whats the only concert you can get into for 45 cents? a 50 cent concert featuring Nickelback

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A bug in your nut.

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What's purple and fuzzy? A piece of purple fuzz.

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why did the boy have no friends? cause he was smelly

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what did the Mexican fire fighter name his two kids? Jose and Josbe

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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Where did little Annie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

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Bob: Oh, there was a big surfing competition in Hawaii. Bill: that's really cool. Bob: yeah, there were huge waves up to 53 feet. Bill: Awesome! Bob: Yeah there was a Japanese guy that won. Bill: Wow, that will bring up the spirits of japan. Bob: Yeah, but he got disqualified. Bill: No, how?!?! Bob: he was surfing on his dresser.

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What is the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family

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Suzy:I love you like a fat man love cake. Dave:(proceeds to say nothing as he is fat and is buzzy eating cake)

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a man walks into a bar. he gets a beer and talks to his friends. he then goes home.

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What does a Twihard, a Brony, a Belieber and a Gleek all have in common? They all ruin the Internet.

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Why was the Mexican sleeping? He wishes to decrease his risk of motor vehicle accidents.

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What happened when the Arabic man went through airport security? He was racially profiled and stopped, delaying not only him but the line of people behind him.

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Why didn't the cat eat its dinner? Because I nailed its head to the floor.

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What do you call a fish without an eye? fsh.

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4

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a sludge hammer, the other is a watermelon

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Why are butt pirates butt pirates? Because they just ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR FRUITS

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Bobby got a new bike there are black kids in bobby's neighborhood bobby doesnt have a new bike anymore

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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