Rose are red Violets are blue And I really hate you Friends?????

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf or bread. why did the plane fall apart in mid air? The engineer was a loaf of bread Why didn't the plane take off? because it was delayed.

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What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence

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Your mom is so fat that her doctor told her to go on a diet.

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#Getweird

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A man walked into a bar. He was treated at the local hospital with a minor contusion.

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What did the abortion say to the womb? I'm outta here.

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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why did the duck swim upside-down -he was on quack

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What is the difference between a rat and an italian? nothing.

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I Never apologize, I'm sorry, that's just me

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One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, I am Colorblind...FML

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Why can't stars marry? Because they are masses of incandescent gas and thus have no feelings.

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What percentage of her brain does Sarah Palin use? 100%. That humans use only 10 or 30% of their brains is a myth.

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Who more attractive then you? No one your ugly as pooh.

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How did the plumber fix the leaky faucet? Trick question. The plumber is actually an iguana.

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3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair Fuzzy wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy, was he? No, because he had cancer.

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why didnt the old man go to his sons birthday he died.........nah i lied he went went

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You've been in robotics too long if you start talking to your tools. You've been in there way too long if they start talking back!

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once upon a time jeff peterson was taking a daily walk when he stops and stares at a strange object. it was an assasin with a knife who slaughtered jeff decapitating his head while his family cry's. THE END

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Why was the young women crying Because her fiancé who was battling a severe Case of pneumonia just passed away

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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