What is big, eats cats, smells good, but looks like shit? A big, cat eating, good smelling piece of shit

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe

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Why was the little boy upset? He was on fire.

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Until further notice Penn State's take your child to work day has been canceled.

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What do you call a green land with wheels? Grass lied about the wheels.

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Knock knock. Who's there. Suidi Arabia. Suida Arabia who? Huh? I was too busy loading my weaponry

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Ding-Dong.............no knock-knocking required

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Q.What do you call a apple with a unibrow? A. A failed science experiment!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I stole your wallet and used to buy a prostitute. I had a great time. What was the question again?

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza One is an ethnicity derived from Africa and One is an Italian dish that is well'ly known in all four corners of the world.

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Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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hi

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What do homeless people get at Christmas? Cold.

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What do you get when you mix hydrochloric acid and a humans digestive track? Death.

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Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

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Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one at the bottom.

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What did the raped girl get for Christmas? Pregnant.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

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What do you call a dog that's having a stroke? An emergency animal hospital.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. The man leaves in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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There was once a boy who ate fire. He died of severe burns.

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How much wood could the woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A relatively small amount compared to the amount of trees in the world.

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There is no I in Pie except for the I

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Wanna know what makes me smilee? Facial Muscles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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