- Hey, guess how many people are dead in that cemetery? - I don't know. How many? - All of them.

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A: why did the kid run out of lead B: because his dad broke into his house raped his wife and stoll everything he owned

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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How do you make a fake baby cry -Put batteries in it. How do you make a real baby cry? -Put batteries in it.

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Whats worse than being raped? Being raped and murdered.

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PUDDING

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How does shit taste?\ Good.

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Why was the boy sad? His parents died in a horrible accient earlier that day.

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The awkward when you didn't actually say moment.

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What is the difference between a dog being hit by a car and an Arab being hit by a car? There are skidmarks before the dog

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Do you believe in Santa? Cuz i don't. Kookaburra

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Why was the T-Rex so bad at math? Cause it was stupid

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How do you treat lice Avoid getting them

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What do you get when you cross professor plum with a candle stick in the library? A dead prostitute. Try and be more careful next time.

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Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there. Just kidding because today brought terminal cancer.

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Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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What do you do when your phone goes off in class? Stay behind after class whilst the teacher takes off his pants and tells you do bend over a desk. This is your punishment.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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The man said to his wife love hurts. the wife then progressed with punching in the face.

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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Doctor Doctor! I think i'm epileptic! I'm not the Doctor, I'm the receptionist. You're a hypochondriac, now wait in the Que, like everybody else Mrs. Davis.

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im gey

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Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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