Matt Damon

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ronald wants to join a gym, they tell him to lose 20 pounds before coming back or else.....

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Why didn't the Irishman want to drink anymore? Because he wasn't thirsty.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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Why did the heroin addict get staff infection? His skin broke open multiple times without proper cleansing.

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old mcdonald had a farm had..... he now lives in the city

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Why did the little boy fall down the stairs? I pushed 'em.

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What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

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What kind of cheese is not you cheese? Not your cheese.

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Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

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Q: If your riding down the Nile on a boat and your boat springs a leak, how many boxes of pancake mix does it take to fix the hole? A: 58, because Koalas are marsupials

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whats the worst kind of homework? child abuse

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Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

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quantum physics?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, How 'bout you?

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Your Mommas so scary slender is afraid of her -_-

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Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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Whats black and hangs from trees in my backyard? blackberries..

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why did the monkey fall? he got hit by a train

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knock knock... who's there... i dont know i aint got a house

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Why did the baby stop crying? Because he stopped breathing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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