How do you say cabbage in Spanish? You don't.

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I had a submarine.... once

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Did you hear about the deaf kid? He didn't.

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Today i decided to burn calories, so I grabbed my lighter from the counter and put it in my pocket and proceeded to the treadmill.

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Q: What did the architect say after he tripped? A: My mother died of cancer when I was 6.

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Yolo: Your Oppurtunity Lies Upon...... oh, wait upon starts with a u... YOLU

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this is not a joke. jks

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A black man walks into a bar. No comments were said to him for everyone else was paying attention to their other peers.

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If you could eliminate one thing in your life, what would it be ? My ex.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had Gonorrhea.

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Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

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How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

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A priest, a rapist, and a pedophile walk into a bar. That was just the first person.

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Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

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Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and the Devil all walk into a bar. Biden and Obama order a couple of beers and begin quietly conversing, while their security detail stands next to them. "The Devil" is actually a heavily tattooed performance artist, who in 1999 legally changed his name from Jim Larson. He has just gotten off work at his day job (a paralegal at a medium-sized firm), and is relaxing with a Johnnie Walker at the bar. Although he notices the president and vice president nearby, he has seen many politicians during his time working in DC, and so hardly pays attention.

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A car walked into a bar... wait no it didn't it has wheels.

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What do you call a fast black man with big muscles? A good source of minorities evolving.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

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What did the black person use to peel a banana? His hands.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane ? - a pilot.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face"? The horse does not respond, because it is a horse and lacks any cognitive ability to speak or understand English. Instead, it becomes confused by its surroundings, takes a dump on the floor, and gallops out of the bar knocking a few tables over in the process.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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Why did the blonde make pasta even though she had a gluten allergy? She had some Italian friends coming over. Also she bought some gluten-free pasta and sauce so she wouldn't need to be hospitalized.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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