A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the 8 year old want a squirt gun? his parents were on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Chocolate makes everything better, except obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and have a wonderful time at what many people believe to be the most magical place on Earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +3,039

A women walks into a kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Did you hear about the Polish couple taking selfies while on vacation in Portugal? They fell off a cliff and died in front of their children. True story.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your other apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock knock Who's there? Your mom Oh hi mom

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you get straight A's? Try really hard throughout the school year and when it comes to the exams study enough to ensure you understand all the material, but so so much as to compromise your sleeping pattern, and in turn, your performance on the day.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red Violets are blue I am disabled, so please help me poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Boyfriend: Why are you so negative all the time? Girlfriend: I'm not! I'm positive! Boyfriend: No your not your arguing with me right now and you... Narrator: The girl takes the pregnancy test and shoves it in the guys mouth kicks him in the nuts and runs out the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why didn't you return my call? Cause I F@%Kin Hate you!...And Just wanted to tell you in person....

thumb_up thumb_down -46

what is patrick wilson? smart

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Chad Wolbert is retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down

what happen to the popo who got arrested? he told himself that he had the right to remain silent

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's pink and when you press a button it turns red? A baby in a blender. What's pink and when you hit it against the wall sounds metallic? A baby with two forks stuck in its eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Do you believe this will change?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a man having sex with his own mother. - Gross.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Gotta go Fast Gotta go Faster Faster Fasterfasterfaster! Moving at the speed of sound I'm the quickest hedgehog around Got ourselves a situation Start getting a new location Without any explanation On top of relaxation! Go- Go- Go- Don't blink Don't think Just Go go go go G-g-g-g-go go! Sonic, he's on the run Sonic, he's number one Sonic, he's coming next so watch out for Sonic X! Gotta go fast, gotta go faster faster faster fasterfasterfaster Go go go go go go go go go! Sooooniiiiic X!!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you get when you have 5 Russians, a few 8 year olds, and guns? A kidnapping

thumb_up thumb_down -6

There's three sisters: a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. They know she's not they're real mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are black violets are black I can't hear anything I'm Helen Keller .

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops