What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

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Q: What happens when the Hydro goes out? A: The Hydro goes out.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I've often heard that a room with a million monkeys with a million typewriters, given enough time; would eventually reproduce the complete works of Shakespeare. This seems to suggest that if something has an extremely low chance of happening, it will still eventually happen if enough attempts are made. However, I feel that the aforementioned scenario, given enough time to play out, would only result in a room full of dead monkeys. Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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whats funny with two wheels? A kid falling off his bike

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What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pig, because even if a pig could learn karate its still a pig.

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A woman walking alone through a poor area of town. She is approached by a man who proceeds to mug her, rape her, and murder her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a cage being carried by a farmer.

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Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner there is no god and everybody hates you.

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Why did the man have no friends? He stabbed an innocent woman and is now rotting in prison.

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How do you know a baby is dead ? When the dog plays with it more!

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Q:whats the difference between a black man and a bunk bed A: a bunk bed can support 2 kids

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? A comment saying "I don't think that's an anti-joke"

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Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

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POOP FART BUTTS HAHAHA!!!!

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what's the worst way to fall asleep? sad. it makes you lose sleep.

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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing they just waved

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Q1:Why was the homeless man homeless? A1:He suffered from a series of mentally disabilitating diseases. From a young age these disabilities went unnoticed and untreated. They evolved to a level in which he believes he is god, therefore he throws fescues at passing automobiles. Q2:Why does the homeless man throw poo at cars? A2:See answer 1

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? Billy was a loaf of bread.

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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Today I decided to burn alot of calories. So I found a fat kid and lit him on fire.

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HAVING OTHER LESBIAN'S OVARIES C AUGHT A AROUND U MBRELLAS SITTING TREES

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two tomatoes are running and one stops to tie its shoe and the other says "Catch up!" This begins to put the first tomato on the spot and he runs after the second tomato without finishing his shoe and he trips falls and dies of severe brain damage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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