How many penguins does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Penguins cannot screw in lightbulbs because they have wings instead of fingers or opposable thumbs, as humans do.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You just glass her.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the boy cry? His Parents died.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's a black man's favorite fruit? Clementines.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If you have a stroke, call 000

thumb_up thumb_down -23

kaite is dumb that is true

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

i love antijokes

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar... They then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, harmony and understanding between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, they truly can coexist, and decide to pursue peace among one another and the rest of society.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How do you kill Chuck Norris? Short Answer: You can't.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

The Irishman walked out of the bad.. Haha just kidding

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A midget walked under a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari. A Ferrari isn't in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Sticks and stones may break my bones because I have osteoporosis

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Knock Knock! Who's there? John Simons. This joke lacks a punchline. Yes, yes it does.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Michael dye. Because he was dyslexic and a plain fell on his noggin.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

knock knock.. who's there? ted? ted, who? STOP f***ing around, you got cancer!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

GONNA

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A: Ask me if I am an Orange. B: "Are you an Orange?" A: No.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

You are a special guy, and I mean that in a really sweet way, but a retard no. Synapses, tell me more please.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

hey how do you turn the Xbox controller off thats easy turn the xbox off.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops