Q. What do mummies do when they run out of toilet paper? A. Nothing - they're dead and inanimate.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why Did The Horse Cross The Road? He Couldn't Because He Was Still-born

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you get when you cross a monkey and a fish? An unlikely premise upon which to base a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do Chinese people get their names? From their parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What is worse then losing your remote? Falling off a cliff landing on a sharp rock and dying slowly.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Interrupting kid with ADHD" *I did not respond, as I knew he would interrupt me before I was able to finish the sentence.*

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why do you always loose your keys at monster truck rally's? Most likely because they fell out during all the excitement of jumping up and down, but the real reason is because they are afraid of monster cars.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

roses are scarce, violets are farse, come over here and i'll stick it up ya ar#e.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the user KyuremCult's name blacklisted on iFunny? She had been repeatedly banraided by people with no success, but because of the mass reports and the leading to some of her works being deleted, the system decided to blacklist her name from search.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why are asians bad drivers? Driving schools in asia are severely less developed and therefore produce less experienced and skillful drivers. They also have asian eyes (:

thumb_up thumb_down -6

So, North Korea is getting ready to nuke the US... BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do a bench and a mexican have in common? (don't worry it's not racist) You'll find both in a park. (I lied)

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do u call an anorexic with a yeast infection? -a quarter pounder with cheese. (not really anti-joke, im a girl and thought this was funny lol)

thumb_up thumb_down -2,846

How do you know your sister is on her period? - Your dad´s dick tastes like blood.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q. Why does Samuel Jackson always play a black guy? A. Because he's black.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

thumb_up thumb_down -8

- Wanna see a magic trick? - Sure - Too bad. I don't know any.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the man take a shower?, he didint smell so good...

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A chicken walked into the bar...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why is Alan in the hospital? Because he got cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why was the Jewish child sad? He was recently abandoned by all his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Kid 1 Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken. Kid 2 Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys. Kid 1 You know what? I think you're right Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops