Dan O'Driscoll

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Hi my names Sarah and I love baby's. I don't think I could eat a whole one though

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What's worse then your mouse running away? Getting hit by a plane

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A guy says to a palm reader "You look like you've seen a ghost. Palm reader replies "You've got cum on your hand."

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Smeg...

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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roses are red, violates are blue, you left me for David, I am about to kill you *bam* *bam**bam*

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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Yo mama so fat she has an increased risk of blood clots!

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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What do you call a black man who lands on the moon? An astronaut...f*cking racist.

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Axel? Its Eliza, is that you? You alive again? I don't want to be no successor of anything, but thanks I guess. Neo-Nero has not shown up since you returned, I think he isn't very proud of himself and wont be a problem here on forward. He did push me aside, but now that you are alive, I wont even consider the thought of you "dying again" and unless you are dying or seriously ill, I don't want to hear anything about it. Seriously, how bad are you doing? Physically I mean? I am relieved, I mean we all thought you where dead.

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why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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What three letters alter boys into men and girls into women? The letter containing their bank card, the letter containing their national insurance card and the letter accepting them into a job or higher education placement.

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Q: What do starving children in Africa eat? A: Nothing

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What did Obama say to Hilary? Will you be my secretary of state?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Honey, are you hearing things again? Nobody knocked on the door... Honey-are-you-hearing-things-again-nobody-knocked-on-the-door who? ...

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Why wouldn't the man in a wheelchair see out the window? The curtains were closed

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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why is the room so dark? because the light is not on.

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Justin Bieber.

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How do you occupy a blonde for a day ? You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner. ... That or you strap a bomb to her, give her a list of twelve billion things to do, and tell her the bomb will explode if she doesn't do everything on the list.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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