Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is concerned about his fitness and decided to walk to work instead of drive.

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What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

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whats green and falls from trees, pool tables.

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1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

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What did the headless man say? Nothing. The man can't speak because he doesn't have a head.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

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How do you stop a black person from drowning? You don't.

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What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? When I see a Porsche on the street, I think to myself, "that's a nice car," but when I see a pile of dead babies on the street I scream, "OH DEAR GOD WHY?!?! WHY?!?! WHERE IS THE MONSTER THAT KILLED THESE POOR BABIES?!?!" I then quickly alert the authorities of the hideous crime before vomiting profusely and crying until my tear ducts run dry. I sustain irreversible psychological damage and the image of hundreds of cruelly murdered infants prevents me from sleeping at night.

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a man walks in to a bar. he says oww.

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Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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What did the heart surgeon say to the brain surgeon? We are both surgeons

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There is an Asian, an American, and a Mexican on a falling plane. The pilot announces that the plane is plummeting out of the sky and says that he needs to drop the cargo. The pilot drops the cargo but the plane is too heavy still. The pilot tells the passengers to drop some personal belongings. The Asian drops rice, the Mexican drops his guns, and the American throws the Mexican and yells "Remember the Alamo!".

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what do you call a rich, gay guy from Florida? Iron man

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? Horse semen

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: Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? An even better question is why are the chicken morals being questioned every time it feels like doing something.

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why did the cow jump over the moon because it was on a high dose of lsd

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A little boy who was sleeping in his parents' bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't -- he said nothing, and the incident troubled him for many years.

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What's the difference between an elephant and I?Our mass.

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What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? Velcro.

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A man walks into a bar He says "ow" and promptly sits down and ices the bruise he sustained

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Q: What do you call black guys running down a hill? A: Black guys running down a hill.

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What's worse than a pimple? Finding out it's a botfly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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