why did bill gates sue his banks? Because he can

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Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb Mary had a little lamb and the doctor was surprised

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Mom says my name I reply Coming.

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What did the black guy who was lost in Syria say? "Where am I?"

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why couldnt the black man fly, becuse his master said he coudnt.

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what is pink and fishy? pink fish.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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On a scale of 1 to Kevin James, how much do you exercise?

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a lady says, " i cant stand this." Th guy next to her had his legs blown off and will never be able to stand again.

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How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

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How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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I used to be a Businessman like you, then I took a plane to the North Tower.

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So a man walks into a wedding and asks the waiter where the to wait for the punch... the waiter says, "there is no punchline."

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Why did Johnathan drop his popsicle? He was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Johnathan

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A: "Get in the car."

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Knock Knock Whose there? The pizza you ordered That's weird, the Pizza I ordered shouldn't be able to talk

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*insert joke here*

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red is red blue is blue derpy derp de derp

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What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

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What's worse that getting raped by a frog? That would never occur, as frogs do not have genitalia to commit rape.

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because she fell off a tree. Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally wanted to cross the road.

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "He has a mild concussion."

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because shes autistic and her mother likes to abuse her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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