what do u tell a woman who has two black eyes? nothing, somebody already told her twice.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

roses are red violets are blue they are pretty and you are not

thumb_up thumb_down -4

8=> >->-o

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q. Why did Sarah fall off of the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What dosent kill you only makes you injured

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the African boy get for Christmas? Nothing because he celebrates Kwanza.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the boy ask the ice cream man? Can I have some ice cream?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

why do some Jewish people have big noses? There religion doesn't affect the size of there nose it really depends on genetics, like the if there parents had a big nose, or a small one would probably affect the size of a Jewish person nose

thumb_up thumb_down +2

That awkward moment where all you want for Christmas is for your parents to get back together but then you realize that they died in a car crash

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A traveling salesman stops at a farmer's house. The farmer then offers the salesman a bed with his daughter. The salesman quickly replied, "I don't want to go to bed right now. I need to know the way to Pawtucket." The farmer then gave the salesman directions and the two parted ways.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldn't the woman drive the car? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What happens when eight men throw purple at a rain coat? A: Mud-flaps, because electricity can't power a vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What does a dog do in his spare time? Lick himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what smelss like crap.... CRAP dose DUH

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did Justin beiber get for Christmas? A dildo.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

69

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Yo momma is so dumb she... oh god, i'm so sorry, she was driving and she just looked down at her cellphone and there was a red light and all the cars were coming she didn't even stop oh god i'm so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many illegal immigrants does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Illegal immigrants don't use lights, they'd get caught. Dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you do to get someone to shut up? You hit with a brick

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "You man the guns, i'll drive."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops