roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

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What is black and white and red all over. A pile of dead zebras

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What did Ben's Graandma get him for Christmas? Nothing, she died on Thanksgiving!

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What are annoying? Ads.

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Why did Hitler kill so many Jews? Because he didn't like them.

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Q: How to fit 10 babies in a suitcase? A: By blender Q: How to get the babies out of the suitcase? A: Using a straw.

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ATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor? Because she had no arms or legs.

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Can a nine iron? No, but a tucan.

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HOLY SHIT ITS AN AIRPANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Rex Ryans foot fetish was honer by Mark Sanchez when he threw the ball at his teammates feet.

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Want to hear a joke? I hope not because I don't know any.

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What's worse than being in the Holocaust? Dying in the Holocaust.

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A man with AIDS walks into a bar, what does he say? I have AIDS

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What do you call a black person who just received a bachlors degree from Havard? A very educated human being.

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What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

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why was the chinese man so good at math it was his favorite subject

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A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

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So these two girls have a cup .

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Why did the little girl drop her teddy bear? Because she was being sexually molested. Why did the little Jewish girl drop her teddy bear? Because gas came out of the shower-head.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There's no way to know. The chicken can't speak any humanly comprehensible languages so any reason we can determine is pure speculation.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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