What do you call 3 horses in 1 boat, in the middle of the Dead Sea? Lost

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"Oh yeah?!" "Yeah!" "You wanna go?!" "No, sorry. I got plans." (walks away)

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation can be known as fishing for compliments or reassurance of your value as a human being. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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What did the penguin say to the fisherman? Nothing, they are different animals, and thus, unable to communicate.

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What time is it when grandpa sits ontop of a telephone pole and throws pineapples at people? Time to go to a nursing home

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What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

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Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

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Q. What's black and white and red all over? A. Certainly not a newspaper. Nobody reads those anymore.

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What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

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Miss Polly had a Dolly who was sick sick sick So she called for the Doctor to come quick quick quick The doctor came with his bag and his hat And he knocked on the door with a rat-tat-tat. He looked at Polly's Dolly and he shook his head. He said she had leprosy and must have all her limbs amputated.

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Why do women get pregnant? Beacuse it hurts and they deserve it.

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How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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Q. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? A. Matt

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Why did a boy get slapped in the hand? A; because he had it in the persons face

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How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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A blonde walks into a bar. That's it.

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josh roberts got the d in geog

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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Whats the differance between a pizza and a black person? a pizza can feed a family

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What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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What is the difference between jam and jelly? Jam has chunks of fruit, jelly does not.

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A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to see his mother before she passed away of terminal cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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