Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind, deaf, and dead.

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A seal walks into a club.

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what's brown and sticky? A stick.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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knock,knock whos there? teddybear. teddybear who? a teddybear killed your family.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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What would Walt Disney be if he were still alive today? Still anti-semetic

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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what do you get if you put in a pan- a raw chicken, a lemon, assorted vegetables, onions, maybe some soy sauce, and a little olive oil then place this pan into an oven for around two hours, allowing the chicken to moisten. then serve with the assorted vegetable .supper.

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Two friends sit down to dinner, the third is late so they eat him

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Moderately entertaining story, friend.

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Want to hear a joke? Me too.

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You know why Michael J. Fox makes really good milkshakes? ... because he uses the best ingredients.

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Why did the man fall from the sky? Because he was dead.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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Three blind mice walk into a pub. They are all unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humor from it would be exploitative.

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Santa isn't real

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What do u call a banana? A banana......

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Q: Why are Dino-Nuggets so good? A: Because they are nuggets in the shape of dinosaurs.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen? Five.

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a guy walks into a bar and finds an empty chair near the jukebox. He orders a drink and some peanuts and has a really good time listening to the music and drinking his beer.

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What do a gas and a liquid have in common? Nothing

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What does an Eagle and a Mole have in common? They both live underground. Apart from the Eagle.

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Knock knock Who's there No one. The house has been vacant for years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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