SKnock Knock. Whose there? Why don't you open the door and find out instead of questioning the millions of other people that knock on your door everyday?

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Q: What did little Jimmy get his grandfather for Christmas? A: Nothing his grandfather died on Thanksgiving

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To hold their pants up.

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Theres this black guy who goes to a gun shop and buys a .45 and then goes to get a permit and uses it responsibly....

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a blond is walking down a dark allie,.... she is raped and killed by the following morning.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a baby? Humans don't eat babies, other than a Cannibals because some tend to eat babies.

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Why was the woman out of the kitchen? She was at her mothers funeral.

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How do you beat someone in a video game? You win it.

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HI MY NAME IS DOUG

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how do demolish a building alkekwhakbar

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Why do black people have nightmares? Because we killed the only one with a dream.

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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Nobody cares.

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"How come dinosaurs don't talk?" " I don't know. Why?" " Because they're dead."

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There was once a boy named Aladin. He was very poor until he found a magic lamp. When he rubbed the lamp, a genie poped out of the lamp. He said... "I will grant you one wish, master" Aladin thought about this for a long time, until eventually he said... "I wish for all the chocolate in the world" "Very well, master" And the genie granted his wish and Aladin had all the chocolate in the world Unfortunately, because he ate so much chocolate, Aladin died of heart & liver failure

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Why did the rabbit jump? Because that's what rabbits do.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

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Some guy pretends to be Santa on the street. He touches a little girl and says "It's okay i'm Santa" So the pedophile Santa molestes the little girl. The little girl goes home and says that Santa touched her so the parents go looking for this guy. And then they find out he died of a heart attack.

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Knock knock. It's me, the ratboy genius.

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Once upon a time There was an ugly barnacle He was so ugly That everyone died The end!

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

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Black People.

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If anybody wants a free RuneScape account, the username is Antbongton and the password is fluckaduck

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A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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