What's the difference between a dog and a urologist? A dog is a domesticated canine, and a urologist studies urine.

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Why are pineapples yellow? 82, piano, bomb, lamp!

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What do a bunch of dead babies look like in a blender? I don't know I was too busy masturbating.

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Why can't the t-Rex clap..... Because it is dead

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why do pedo's molest children? because it feels really good.

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The 80's

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a man walks into a house. he gets shot in the leg and is brought to jail because he was a burglar and was trying to steal the family's tv.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Assuming the fact that these children are in fact deceased, it would be highly inprobable that they could perform any task. Or that they would need to see any light at all, since the point of that dark room is to keep them concealed.

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she is dead.

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a ghost walks into a bar and sais BOO! The bartender then yelded AAAAHHH! and died of a hart attack.

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What does Chuck Norris order at a coffee shop? Coffee.

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why did sally fall of the swing? because she had no arms... knock knock? (whos there) not sally

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What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

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Why did the chicken cross the road? This website is terrible. Are you servers from 1990? I hope you all get cancer.

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What did the black guy said when he ate a pie? Nothing, he learned not to speak with a full mouth.

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69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

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Whats worse than finding a worm in an apple? Getting shot in the gut What's worse than that? Getting raped in the hole made by the bullet

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Salad. It's green and so is The Hulk.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to form the basis of an extremly popular jokewhich would grace the schoolyards around the world for centurys to come!

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What's one plus one? 2. Two legit, two legit to quit, hey, hey... What's one plus two? 3. Easy as abc, 123, abc, baby you and me. What's one plus three? 4. hes a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

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What do you call a blond british girl a blond britishngirl

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? Try not to antagonise it.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She never got her drivers license.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops