What do they call Chinese food in China? Food

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bergin y u so tubbbbbyyyy?????

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Friends are like pickles. If you eat them, they die.

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A 8 year old kid and his dad are having quality time at the park,and relax at a nearby picnic bench after a thrilling game of tag."I love you." says the son. The father about to respond,promptly gets shot by 3 stray military issue assault rifle bullets that came from a heated dispute about a stolen car that got way out of hand. He dies,and the kid ran crying a long distance away. After he gets himself in a dark alley with nobody else around he laughs,and mutters "The plan went perfectly!" He pulls out a detonator and presses it. The White House,Washington Monument,and several nuclear power plants across the continental United States blow up,killing millions of people.The child,also in possession of nuclear bombs, holds the entire world hostage and becomes ruler of the entire planet Earth. Fin.

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How do you stop a second date from happenin? You force a dead mouse in your date's vagina.

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What do you call 100 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A weird kind of genocide.

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A man has only two fingers on one hand, and everybody calls him two-fingered Mike. Why? Because his fingers were lost in a tragic accident at birth, and his parents, who were considering calling him Mike, decided to lengthen the name because it seemed appropriate.

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What do you call a gay couple with jobs and a kid?? Responsible.

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raping black women

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What's the difference between Rick Perry and a toaster? One is a republican presidential candidate, while the other is an electrical appliance.

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Two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.-South Park

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Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

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A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

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what did the little boy say when the teacher asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

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You know what's funny? Lot's of things.

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Why did kurt cobain kill himself? He was experiencing heavy depression

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Romans rights.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy mushroom soup in my testicles belly Buton cheese.com ( tickle my. Nipple frog)

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There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

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Nowadays, aviation is the most secure means of conveyance in the world, but paragliding is not.

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Do you want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

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Where do you find a pile of dead lawyers? In my basement.

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Why was the Jewish man sad? His wife was brutally murdered, His chilren raped, Parents stabbed horrifically and stuffed with turtles and the doctor just informed him that he had cancer and was due to die 17 minutes ago.

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Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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