Every time you log on to a porn site, somewhere a panda cub explodes. BOYCOTT PORNOGRAPHY. SAVE THE PANDAS.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red Violets are blue Does this rag smell Like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what do you call a fish without eyes? a fshhhhh

thumb_up thumb_down +59

What did Aaron Pfeifer say to Zach Faller ? Yee

thumb_up thumb_down -58

What is yellow and fluffy? Green fluff, I lied about the yellow part.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's moist wet and I put my finger in it? My nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats green and fluffy? Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's black and blue and hates sex? The unfortunate child in a pedophile's basement who the police have yet to find.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a fat jew? A person that most likely has an eating problem and needs to seek help from the nearest rabbi

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did Susan fall out a tree? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his farmer was abusive.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Jingle bells, jingle bells SHIT MY FOOT

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you get a black man out of a tree? You help him down.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your mom is so fat she could consider going on biggest loser, where she might be able to make a lot of money.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Three construction workers are sitting on a beam high in the air, getting ready to eat their lunch. "Hey!" someone shouts. "Get down from there! That's a safety violation!" So they do, and instead they eat their lunch on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

What's red, green and smells like crap? Green and red crap.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red, Sometimes they're white. Or pink. Or yellow. There are roses of many colors.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

How are eagles and jellyfish the same? They both fly but jellyfish don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did Tarzan say when he say an elephant coming over a hill? Hey look, there's an elephant coming over a hill!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

When your scuba diving why do u jump off backwards beacause if u jump forwards than u witll still be in the boat!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q :What do you call a cow running through a field? A: Bob

thumb_up thumb_down -58

what did the farmer say to the cowgirl that made her positive that she had a weird laugh? you have a weird laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why did the man leave his house during a state of emergency? he didnt

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops