What do you call a dinosaur eating a taco? Nothing, you are high.

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a guy walks in to a bar in iraq. 10 people died because of it

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Your mom is so fat, when she sat on a lump of coal she didn't realize she sat on a lump of coal.

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You're welcome!

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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A man makes a sandwich.

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There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead who sit next to each other in college. They are good students and regularly do their homework.

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Boss: Do you know what lazy means? Employer: Yes, adopting a child.

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Where do you find a quadriplegic? Where you left him

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Women's rights.

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WTF? If you look at life from the right, you might just see whats left, and just then I looked down at the midget as he said "Yo whats up?" I told him, hey do you like left? He said! DAAAAAMN RIIIIIGHT! I spent a while just standing there wondering what the hell was happening into my life, it was so right it was left and wrong... NeroMetal (No fucking idea what Neronism is, I just play streetfighter V and type books that confuse people)

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How do you drown a blonde. Put a scratch 'n' sniff at the bottom of a pool.

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haiku's are funny. but sometimes they don't make sense. refrigerator.

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Wishing to teach his donkey not to eat, a pedant did not offer him any food. When the donkey died of hunger, he said: ‘I’ve had a great loss. Just when he had learned not to eat, he died.

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Three men walk into a bar. The first guy bought two drinks, the second guy bought three drinks, can you guess what the third guy bought? A tazer.,

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Shoot it with a high powered gun right between the eyes.

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What's red and bad for youur teeth? A brick.

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What did the egg say to the cup? I love your hairdo! Girl, who is your stylist?

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Two girls walk into a bar. One ducks.

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A blond Canadian and his Korean friend are going together to Korea. When checking in the person asks the Canadian if he has a return ticket leaving the country. He replies yes but he does not have it on him. According to Korean Customs and Immigration laws a non-Korean citizen must have a return ticket to enter the country. Inevitably follows a long and tedious process in order to procure the ticket in order to pass customs. The Korean and the Canadian continue to their boarding gate.

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What is the result of a couples' feud? 96.

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whats worse than sitting next to jack grindey nothing

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Why is Osama bimladin dead? Because he was a threat to American for many years, and someone finally found him and killed him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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