A list of comebacks: Hows ur face nancy grace ur mom ur face ur moms face take it to my butt, cuz ur the only one that gives a crap

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Shit happens. Correction: feces happens.

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doctor,doctor my eyesight is getting worse, you are certainly right, this is the post office

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Three construction workers are sitting on a beam high in the air, getting ready to eat their lunch. "Hey!" someone shouts. "Get down from there! That's a safety violation!" So they do, and instead they eat their lunch on the ground.

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yolo mother f-uckaaaa

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Why didn't God show up to Jesus' bar mitzvah? Because he doesn't exist.

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Why is the fat kid on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? Molest them.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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A man walked into a bar Ouch.

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The WNBA

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Did You Hear about the Black Guy That went to College?....Neither Did I...

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OMG did you hear about the man who sky-dived from mars?!!!! No…. Me neither

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what's the only thing funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? The look on the mom's face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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Why was the Mexican in pain? Someone hit him with a frying pan 5 times across the face.

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Andy Carrol

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A man walks into a bar. He's blind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Cause he wanted to

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says "Well, it's a long story but I tell you. You see, one day I was walking along the beach and I found a dusty old lamp. I rubbed the lamp and a big magic genie appeared. He told me I could have 3 wishes." The horse continues: "So I told the genie I wish I had a 10 billion dollars. I checked my bank account and sure enough it came true. My second wish was I wished for a beautiful wife. Suddenly a light came from the sky like an angel falling and I saw a beautiful woman and fell in love with her." The bartender says to the horse "Let me guess, so for your third wish, did you wish you were a horse with a long face?" The horse says "No that's not what I wished for." The bartender asks "What was your third wish?" The horse says "Well you won't believe me but I wished I was a bartender pretending to talk to a horse about some genie granting him wishes." After about 30 minutes of arguing with himself, other employees at the bar had had enough of the bartender talking to himself and called psychiatric personnel to escort the bartender to the mental hospital as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

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How does God choose who goes to heaven? I'm just kidding, there's no God.

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What do you call a puppy with no limbs? It doesn't matter, he's never coming back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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