GONNA

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Where's Waldo? The cemetery, he died last week.

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There's two bears in a bathtub, One looks at the other and says "hey can you pass the soap?" the other bear says "what do i look like a light bulb?"

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bucket of chicken? A lot.

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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch". The nearby patrons ask him what is ailing him.

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Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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Nock nock Whos there? The mailman, I have a package for you. Thank you.

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Q. Why did the car break dance? A. I dont know!

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What's better than winning $500? Using it to support the Islams to destroy America

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people, and are a nation and ethnoreligious group originating in the Israelites or Hebrews of the Ancient Near East. A pizza on the other hand is an Italian dish made up of cheese, bread sauces and multiple toppings.

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What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

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Why did the boy drop his lolypop Because it tasted bad

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A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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How do you know when you are really ugly? Objective self-evaluation, and frank, honest discussion with close friends and family.

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what did the lonely boy get for christmas? the absence of a familly

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How are Steve Jobs and the iPhone similar? They both keep getting thinner as time goes on.

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A man visits an anti joke site looking for some humor. realizing that its not funny, he closes the window.

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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So there's this mexican with a big sombrero riding a donkey, it was a sunny day and he didn't feel like walking.

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What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance.

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ive got 99 problems and my diabetes is one of them

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I am not physically scarred, rather mentally, lets just say my childhood was a lot less than pleasant, I got no idea where you got that "Nero lost an arm" thing, I got both arms working. But I guess I often feel alone because only I can feel, see and experience the pain of the scars a terrible childhood has left me with. You are right though, it is easy to give up saying that humanity is not ready or worthy, making me feel as Dr.Doom or something alike, hidden behind some suit of armor still ashamed for things I know that I am not, but that still burn deep within my mind. PTSD buddy, it does not matter if I logically believe that I am competent or not, when my past is engraved, etched into my soul, constantly telling me I am not, so helping others is actually pretty easy, yet saving myself, I do not know how anymore, it is easy to change the minds of those that have not been broken time after time physically and mentally by those which they love the most. I will heal, your words are inspiring, thank you.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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