Q: why did the plain crash A: because the driver was a loaf of bread

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What's the worst way to say you want to break up? Kill her dog.

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Why was the boy drinking toilet water? Because he was receiving a violent swirly. He then went home and killed himself.

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your mother's head is so big that she wears very big hats.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on the front porch? Matt What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a hole? Phil What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating down the river? Bob

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What's worse than the front page of anti-joke.com? The 4945th page of anti-joke.com, as those jokes have been rated poorly by other users.

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Dont read this joke

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When life gives you lemons you have lemons.

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Why do Jewish people where hats in church? They feel there head will often get cold

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Why couldn't the elephant ride a bike? Because he had no thumbs...

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A bar walks into a man. No, firstly it wasn't a man and secondly the bar didn't walk in. The pedophile just slid it in and sodomized the poor boy.

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My name is Jacob Mckeand and my penis is as long as Mr. Macs hair.

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Today I looked at a clock and realized that I was late.

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How do you know when your pizza is ready? When the oven timer goes off, indicating that it is done.

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your momma's so stupid, she starved to death in a supermarket i probably would too...considering all the good shit needs to be cooked

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What does the kid with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A: arms and legs

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ur mum

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" he replies: "I was walking with my wife and was mauled by a bear"

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender then looks down and realizes that the pirate has a steering wheel on his penis. "Sir, are you aware that you have a steering wheel on your penis?" the bartender asks. "Arrrrrrr! It's driving me crazy! I just woke up one day and it was there!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon, it looks like it could be very harmful to your health and slightly uncomfortable. Not to mention your penis is out in the open." "You are right, what was I thinking?" The pirate agreed. He proceeded to get his friend to drive him to a hospital, for drinking and driving is not safe, and steering wheels on penises are not healthy.

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Why couldn't the car drive? Because its wheels were made of butter.

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I have cancer. And you're next.

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8

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A priest, a paedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. And that's just the first guy

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did you hear about the argument between jamie jacob and dylan? daniel killed them all

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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