What did Grandma give little Ben for Christmas? Nothing.She died on Thanksgiving day.

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In Soviet Russia, table flip you! ???? ? /(. - . \?

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

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a hard working man goes home after a long day at work to find that his wife left him for his even harder working father.

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks then comes home to his whole family murderd and mutilated

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Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

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Like my post because I have no friends And then don't like it

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What did Bambi say to her mother when her mother was killed? Nothing. Bambi's a deer. Duh.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Go up to her and say, "The bookbag coffeepotted the ice cream wedding! Is it gosling for you to rectify this pane of glass and oceans? I won't be able to berry a giant squid before the cows arrive."

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How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

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How do you get Vladamir Putin to smile? You tickle him.

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What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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Hey Jim? What? Pass the stapler.

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Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

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So a guy walked into the doctors and said, "It hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor said, "Well don't poke your leg like that."

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Whats better than 32 dead babies stapled to 1 tree? - 1 dead baby stapled to 32 trees

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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What kind of cat has no tail? Manx cat

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a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

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Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

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What's funnier than Mexicans? Whats funny about Mexicans?

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Whats worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out that because you were sexually violated, you are now a victim of unplanned pregnancy and have contracted AIDS and any number of other STD's from the horrible expirence that will forever haunt your nightmares.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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