What do you call a submarine full of soldiers shot by a torpedo? Tragic war heros, that we will remember and honor

thumb_up thumb_down -41

One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape her abusive father

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I was approached the other day by an officer as he asked... "Son where are your parents?" I replied, "I dont know i'm an orphan" The officer then laughed and walked away

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A. Genetics.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What begins with "f" and ends with "uck"? A curse word.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q.Want to hear somthing that will never happen A. Sure A. the Houston Astros won a game.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the college kids drink at the party? Soda. Alcohol is illegal for people under the age of 21 to consume.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because Osama Bin Laden is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a man runs into a bar and screams, he is sent to a doctor for a minor concussion and receives some stitches. He recovers over time and gets on with his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the chicken cross the road? I like to rape cats.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why did Susay fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call your mother? Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why didn't the chicken cross the road... because it got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down -11

who has brown eyes blonde hair and red lips a human-being

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the little boy stick a fork in the electrical socket? Because he wanted to escape his abusive stepfather

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: How do you get a jewish girls number? A: You roll up her sleeve

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Waffles ate my grandma

thumb_up thumb_down +11

dad; were is ur head son; its on my neck duh

thumb_up thumb_down -10

roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops