this kid named terry stockton thought it was funny to get someone in the ankle lace then the kid got up and pucnched him in the face so hard he had a seizure

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Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

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What's more fun than nailing a baby to a wall? Pulling it off.

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Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

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Why did the car get sucked up by the tornado? Because it was in Pilger, Nebraska.

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Knock, Knock! Who's there? Hatch! Hatchoo! Bless you!

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Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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She loves me, she dosn't love me, she loves me, the girl walks up to the man and says, she doesn't love me

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables.

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A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

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When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

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What did Stephen Hawking say to the prostitute? A several garbled and mostly inaudible comment that she could not understand.

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You: Mike and Steve were playing chess, who won? Them: Mike You: no, it was steve

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What is older than history?

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What do you call a black man who graduated med school? A doctor

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Why did the shrimp refuse to share? Because he was a little shellfish.

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How old are you? 20

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the guy on tv right now isnt funny. i blame canada

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What do a spoon and a platypus have in common? Nothing.

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one time when i bought a sonic blast they gave me a regular? size spoon and i was like this is a huge inconvenience.

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Emma Brown..I'd tap that shit Dylan xoxo

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Knock knock. who's there? Alex. GO AWAY!!!

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A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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