Why didn't Angie die when she jumped off the Empire State Building? She landed on a pancake

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into you apple and finding two worms in it.

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Q. Why did my ass feel so sweaty? A. Because i was exercising and suckn on some nips.

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Go online. why? To get a quote. why? To save money. why? Because we said so! Parenting can be hard. See how easy it is to save with GEICO.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because while he was swinging, his friends dared him to jump off and called him a chicken when he didn't. Still hesitant, he tried to jump off, but his arm caught on the swing chain and he fell face first into the tanbark. He needs reconstructive surgery to repair his face.

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Even better if I am not here in an hour, lets make it two huh?, I was thinking about you, sleep is well, not something I prioritize well enough at all, probably why I am so adrenaline crazy.

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Why do latins like soccer so much? Because it's a very popular sport in the whole world.

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"Knock knock," said the guy about to deliver a knock knock joke.

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homosexual rights to marriage

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he was mentally handicaped

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What did little Jimmy say when he met God ? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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Q: Why did the white man die? A: because he had cancer

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What did the FBI agent say to the CIA agent. We're both agents

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Jenny tried out for the school play. She got a callback the next day. Her father had died.

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Have you ever seen that really famous blind man's house? Neither has he.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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Knock knock Who's there . I said who's there. Sadly this poor man didn't understand he had just been door bell ditched.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a chevrolet? I've never been inside a chevrolet before...

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happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

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Why do black people have white hands? Palms and soles are not in direct sunlight, and therefore less amounts of melanin are produced in those regions.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A hurt animal that should promtly be taken to the RSPCA for surgery.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? A robber who will most likely kill you along with anyone else who will ruin their chances of becoming more wealthy off your most prized possessions.

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Why couldn't Sarah see through her telescope? She was blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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