What did the cat say to the chicken? Meow

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One asks the other "Isn't it hot in here?" To which the other replies, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"

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How many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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How did the man want his hair cut? In silence.

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A man told his wife to go make him a sandwich. She said no.

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There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

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What did the man before he was executed? Nothing. He was already executed before he said something.

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Yo mama is so fat, we are all concerned about her weight.

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I have a friend named Jay . But for short , he likes to be called J .

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Whats worse that a rhino hitting you in the face? A rhino with horns hitting you in the face

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What happens when you have nothing to do and you can't think of a joke? You just type whatever you want and hope to god someone likes it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He has no legs.

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Dear Sarah, My name is Jesse, and I am severely overweight. BOUNCE ON MY DICK LIKE TYGA BITCH, Your lover, Jesse.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side which would be a incontrovertible (obvious) decision.

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why did the plane crash ? Because a loaf of brad was flying it, and Loaves of bread don't fly planes

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Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a light bulb Why? Because they're so darn stupid

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A seal walks into a club. And proceeds to die. Why? The seal isn't able to walk so it was crawling and a man was swinging a club to it's head, so it perished and he could feed his family. The Statement was censored by the FCC

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Why was the new born on the orphanage's doorstep? He was an accident.

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What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

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Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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2 men walked into a bar. the other one ducked.

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Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and not being funny.

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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wanna hear a good anti-joke? no, anti-jokes are a waste of time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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