Q. What's long and hard and full of seamen? A. A penis. Oops, I misspelled "semen". Sorry. Also, to clarify, this doesn't describe the normal state of the average penis. Usually they are flaccid, and they can only be said to be "full of semen" at the exact moment of ejaculation.

two muffins are in an oven. 30 min. later i ate a delicious treat.

You read the Terms of Service.

Q: What do you call a room full of black people? A: A Social Gathering.

Facebook...

What do you call a gay man having sex with a woman? Sex.

why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

Why was the women not in the kitchen? Because she was probably doing something else

How do you kill a black man? feed him mayonase

Whats's the similarities between an apple and a cat? They both have legs except for the apple.

i got angry and i was like " i really want to kick someone" ,my friend was on the ground and shes like "you can kick me" ,and i'm like "REALLY" ,then i kicked her really hard and she cried...

there are three women witch one is married? the one with the ring on its finger

Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

Lockerbie bombing

Doctor, I am afraid of getting sexually abused. Hmm, sounds serious, take off all your clothes so we can get a proper look.

Yo' mama's so fat, she has difficulty finding clothes that fit

HEY.... HEY YOU..... YEA YOU! IM TALKING TO YOU!!! yolo

A pope meets another one

How is a fat girl like a tiny motorcycle? She isn't, and you should be ashamed of yourself for even thinking how she might be.

If Life gives you melons, then I think your dislexic

What state is round on both ends and high in the middle? Ocoloradoo.

Why were the black man's balls so big He had testicular cancer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...