How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock Knock Who's There? The police- we are sorry to inform you that your wife and only child was killed in a brutal car accident earlier this evening, We offer our condolences.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you get pikachu onto a bus? You can't. Pikachu is a fictional creature and therefore does not exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did Jesus say last before being nailed to the cross? I don't know, It never happened. ...Why did he say that? He didn't, it's not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock who's there? the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Q: What's white, is Mel Gibson, and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree? A: Mel Gibson.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Gotta go Mark Gotta go Mark MARK MARKMARKMARK! Moving at the speed of mark I'm the quickest mark around Got ourselves a mark Start getting a new mark Without any mark On top of mark! Go- Go- Go- Don't mark Don't mark Just markmarkmarkmark! mark, he's on the run mark, he's number one mark, he's coming next so watch out for mark X! Gotta go mark, gotta go mark mark mark markmarkmark Go go go go go go go go go! marrrrrkkk X!!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A white man, a black man, an Asian man, a Mexican man, a subasian man, an Austrailian man, and a Canadian white man. That's it.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Obviously.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose body parts were all adequate and thus could not perform any odd sexual acts upon himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the black man quit his job as a rapper? Because he was an admirable father and husband and was willing to sacrifice his passion to provide for those he loved.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what did the hobo do when he saw timmy get hit by the bus and drop his ice cream? stole the ice cream and laughed

thumb_up thumb_down +9

The elephant moonwalked. On the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

69

thumb_up thumb_down +43

HEY WATCH OUT FOR THAT TRUCK! What truck? Weird I could have sworn I saw a truck...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

wat did one chicken say to the other bock bock

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what did Tim get for Valentimes day? nothing, no such day exists. spell check

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Sally heard a scream in a dark room and went to go see who it was. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

did you hear about the platypus that was found dead in the middle of death valley?

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the autopilot of a plane malfunction even though the pilots had engaged the switch? The pilots had taken manual control. I lied about the switch.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops