- Anti Joke

Why did Jimmy go to the doctor? He had just been hit by a semi truck and his legs were severed. He died later that night.

Why did sally fall of the swing? She had no arms or legs Knock knock who's there? Not sally

Q: Why did the mugger kill the bus driver? A: Because he had a gun.

There are 3 types of people, those that can count and those who can not.

In the land of cheerios, there are three social classes. The bottom class consists of the regular cheerios, the middle class consists of the honey nut cheerios, and the top class consists of the frosted cheerios. One day, Mr. Cheerio was disappointed with his life in the bottom social class. He thought to himself, "Gosh, I bet life would be much better if I were a honey nut cheerio!" So he goes to the mighty cheerio king and says "Oh great cheerio king, what must i do for thee that thou might make me a honey nut cheerio?" The great cheerio king then says to him "I shall make thee a honey nut cheerio if thou wilt go to all the neighboring lands and bring me back 100 different kinds of vegetables!". Mr. Cheerio accepts the quest and travels for many months and years through all of the neighboring lands and finally collects the vegetables. He returns to the cheerio king and he honors the bargain my making him a honey nut cheerio. Mr. Cheerio is very happy with his new life. Due to his higher rank in society, he is able to find a wonderful job, marry a wonderful woman and have a few wonderful kids. One day, Mr. Cheerio thinks to himself, "I wonder what my life would be like if my family and I were all frosted cheerios. I could provide more for my family, and we would have a much fancier way of life!". He returns to the cheerio king and says "Oh great cheerio king, what must I do for thee that thou might make my family and I frosted cheerios?". The king then states "I will make thee frosted cheerios if thou wilt go to all the neighboring lands and bring me back 100 different kinds of fruits." Mr. Cheerio accepts this new quest. He departs from his family and travels for many months and years through all the neighboring lands until he finds all the fruits he needs. He returns to the cheerio king and he honors the deal by making Mr. Cheerio's family frosted cheerios. The life of the frosted cheerios is incredible. It is everything that the Cheerio family could have ever wanted. There are new opportunities around every corner. One day, a friend of Mr. Cheerio invites him to a dinner party that all of the frosted cheerios will be attending. Mr. Cheerio and his wife are talking to their friends at the party, when Mrs. Cheerio says to Mr. Cheerio, "Hey, honey, I'm getting a little thirsty. Could you go get me some punch?". Mr. Cheerio finds a very long line and stands in it. Once he gets to the front, however, he discovers that it is the line for steak, not punch. He repeats this process with half a dozen other lines, but he cannot find the line for punch. He returns to his wife and says, "Honey, there's something wrong with this joke. There's no punch line."

What's red and smells like metal? A tricycle. It's covered in blood.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens aren't very intelligent and therefore it didn't see the possible dangers that could occur.

wsedrtyujiKFKJKLEFL;LKJRG Blame the economy. Don't hit me, I'm a girl! EQUAL RIGHTS, EQUAL RIGHTS!

Yo mamas so fat she weighs more than other people

Why did the black man buy watermellon? Because he was having a barbecue in his suburban neighborhood and he wanted some fruit.

Q: Why does an elephant have flat feet? A: From jumping out of trees

Ya know how when geese fly in a V-shape, one side is longer than the other? -Yes Do you know why that is? -No Because there's more geese on that side

What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An extremely talented reptile.

A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

What did the mexican fireman call his twin sons? nothing. they were stillborn

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-BD0nWgoIw

What's worse then a dead baby? a dead baby in a blender

Knock, Knock. Who's there? The wind. The wind who? ...

Why can't a dinosaur clap its hands? Dinosaurs are extinct.

Contrary to the popular saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," if you get cancer there's nothing an apple can do...

Your momma is SOO FAT that I had to call my doctor. He said you should go on a diet and exercise. I called my local gym and gave your mom a 3 months membership. Monday to Friday. Your welcome and good luck.

What would you call a two-foot Irishman named Max? Max.

What do you call an Arab on an airplane? A passenger.

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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