What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot for Arabian Air, idiot. What were you thinking?

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Q) A black man and a white man are playing a basketball game, who will win? A) The one who scores the most points.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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What did the basketball player do before he scored a basket? Shot the basket ball

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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yo momma so fat. that shes fat

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Knock Knock. Who the hells there? Nevermind.

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A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

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why did the 11 year old boy stick his hand in a lawnmower nobody knows he hasnt come out of the coma yet

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What did the fat girl use on Wii Fit? Cheat Codes.

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How did the teenage mother get her baby to stop crying? Multiple stab wounds to its throat

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Knock Knock Come in. Come in who? You're a dumbass.

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A man walks into a bar a browning automatic rifle, it accidentally fires hitting the main artery in his neck and he promptly bleeds to death.

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Why did Chuck Norris fall of the cliff? Because he was pushed.

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Whats worse than finding a worm guts in your apple? Being raped by a alien with no arms then passed on to his comrades to be raped for the rest of your life.

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God said "let there be light" Chuck Noris said "say please

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What did the podiatrist say to the proctologist? That athletes foot fungus is clearing up nicely.

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Why did the man laugh? Because humans laugh when they hear a joke.

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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Yo mamma is so fat, that she's going on a diet and is exercising regularly to lose wait.

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A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

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Your mom is so old she is significantly more identifiable in a crowd of middle-aged men and women.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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