Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

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What happened to the man who was raking leaves? He kept his yard clean and felt great about his hard work.

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What do you call Rosa Parks? One bitchy negro. Just kidding she was a visionary for human rights, now you can't dislike this cause you'll be saying that Rosa Parks wasn't a visionary, take that blacks.

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There was once a boy named Swan, But then they built Autobahn.

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Q: Why did the boy eat an apple? A: A strong man stuffed it down his throat.

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Who's this Jesus, have you heard of him?

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! In for a penny, in for a pound. I'm Donald Trump!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried. The chicken was run over by a distracted driver. The chicken turned out to be Farmer Brendan's prized egg hen who wandered away. The hen provided a large portion of Brendan's income and living. The farmer, deprived of his vital income source, was forced to sell his farm and live on the city streets.

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What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Rivkee Rivkee who? RIVKEEEEE FIRETRUCK!

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What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

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Q. what do you call a black guy? A. N IGGER

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retard

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What's worse than finding gum stuck on the bottom of your desk? A clown following you around carrying a shotgun and throwing toothbrushes at you.

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Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.

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Why was the black man forced off of the roller coaster He had heart disease

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How do you make a baby float? Take your foot of its head.

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what do you call a girl with no arms and legs whatever her name is

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is this the krusty crab? no this is child services were taking your children.

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Kirstie Alley is soooo fat! How fat is she? Well, she's so fat that she's in grave danger of developing heart disease, and death

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? A disgusting halfbreed which prays daily for its own euthenasia...

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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Why can't black people swim? Cause poop don't float!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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