what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing, he was homeless

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What's worse than a completely overused anti-joke punchline? The Holocaust.

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A blind man walks into the girls bathroom.

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Did you hear the one about the bus driver? Me neither

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What's green and smells like a dirty whore? A dirty whore

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Has anyone seen that clown that hides from gay people in Tesco's

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Why couldn't the little boy see anything? It was dark outside.

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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Why was the salsa spicy? It has a mixture of many spicy peppers.

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A man gets pushed in to a pole...

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

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What's the difference between a woman and a cat? Numerous things

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For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

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Ya mama so fat when she went on an elevater she had no chose but to go down Hahaha I'm so so funny haha Awesome mon yeah

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Why did Eduardo cross the road. The same reason he crossed the border.

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You will never see the a heaven made of pure light with no room for darkness to dwell? Pure light will make you blind, living forever in darkness.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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How types of people are there? One, we are the only homo sapiens.

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A boy goes into Mourne View and meets a girl what happens next? He's now a father living off of the dole.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the boy say after he hit his head? I just hit my head.

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If polar bears were pink they'd be very easy to find

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What's red, white and not blue. A Canadian flag

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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