How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

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what does an Ethiopian man say to greet a Chinese man well, first they must locate a translator fluent in both said languages, but they would most likely say hello

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A man on his 21st birthday walks into a bar. He orders a piña colada. The bartender then replies "Sorry we do not sell piña coladas here." In disappointment, the man decides to order a different alcoholic drink and later becomes an alchoic for 20 years until he breaks his obsession and remarries his wife and has 5 kids. He then had a great life and died at age 92. He will be missed by his wife and children.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Yo mamma is so old that she lives in a retirement home for the aged, and will most likely die there in several years.

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What did the lawyer name his daughter. he couldnt because both the baby and his wife died in child birth.

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What do you do if there's a black guy bleeding on your lawn? Help Him

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Hey Jay, did you here the one about the 3 hookers at the bar? Jay didn't reply because he was deaf

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What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

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so a piece of grass is walking down the street..... wait a minute thats not right.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A Stick!

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What did the hat say to the scarf? Nothing.

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Y u do dis?

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There are 2 women at a bus stop. One of them has a swollen belly. The pregnant woman says to the other one, "I'm expecting a baby." The other woman responds, "That's too bad. I'm expecting a bus, at least that'll help me."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were 5 brothers chasing it with a bat.

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Whats black and red and dead? Nobody could tell, but they were sure that it wasn't a dead black person, so stop being racist!

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a T-Rex? Humans are vertebrates belonging to the Mammalia class, chiefly a member of the species Homo sapiens; dinosaurs are chiefly terrestrial, herbivorous or carnivorous reptiles from the extinct orders Saurischia and Ornithischia.

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Why did Teddy eat dirt? Because he was hungry.

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Electronic Arts is a respectable company.

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What's up with women with there jewlery it's there's best friend,but a black man's best friend is reames..

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Why did the alien cross the road. To get to his ship.

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How did Matt stop the robbers? He called the police.

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Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He got cancer.

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Chuck Norris once jumped off of a 9 story building. He broke half of the bones in his body because he is 71 years old.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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