Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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I swear to god it wasnt me Dont swear to go its a sin !

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A chicken decides to cross a road. Unfortunately it gets ran over and does. The end.

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What's the difference between a duck

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What notes does the tightrope-musician have to worry about? They probably have to concentrate generally harder than the average musician in order to produce any correct, good quality notes.

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What's funnier than Carrot Top and Dane Cook combined? Almost anything.

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Q: Whats the deifference between me and you A: The fact that im the beautiful one -RDV

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How do you get a blonde to break a nail? Smash her finger with a wrench.

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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You want to know what is worse than having a teen parent? Being a teen parent.

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As for regarding the Win/Win/Win/sore ass kid comment below... Why not? There is too much Win in order to worry about some fucking soreass thats just gonna grow up to be a slut... RIGHT? Your friendly r*pist Neighborhood r*pist Moral: Man: "He or she who knows I am right, will be be the only one left" Btw, I am the Anti-God, what else can I be? You are the ones that killed Christ Ahahahahahaha! Political humor bonus because my satisfaction of owning you all and your entire screen. Are you Right Winged? Or wrong Winged?

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People with Alzheimers will not remember this joke

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Why is there milk on the stairs? Did the cow leak again?

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You mamma's so fat that even Dora can't explore her!

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What smells like marjuana and is black? A black man smoking weed

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? cause there are more geese on one side

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? TOO FUCKING MANY

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What did the jew say to the black man? Nothing they were in a mall that got invaded by evil trees.

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I think everybody should have a penis.

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So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

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What did the father say to his daughter? "I'm going to rape you."

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Yo mamma so fat when I searched her on the internet, I got 28,000,000 results

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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