What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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What do you get when you mix a deer and a pickle? A very odd dinner.

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What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than that? Two dead babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than that? Two dead trees naild to a baby.

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12 sea cows waddle into a bar... Yea, I bet, you'd like to hear the end of that one.

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A platypus walks into a bar. They are the only mammals with the ability to lay an egg.

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? So he can eat it.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Why did the Muslim get on the plane in New York? To go visit his dying aunt in Memphis.

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Why was the man so fat? Because he is in a wheel chair and can't exercise.

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A sheep croses the road It gets hit by a car.

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Once upon a time a was born

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven.

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Yo mama is so fat, she's bigger than a whale. I have two fathers.

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YO MAMA'S SO , A STUPID, THAT SHE PUT 2 QUARTERS IN HER EARS AND THOUGHT THAT SHE WAS LISTENING TO FIFTY-CENT!!!

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Why did the man get fired from his Job? The boss became his ex girlfriend 2 minutes ago

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Why did the Triceratops walk into a grocery store? To buy groceries

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How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else.

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Q: which is easier to unload a truck of dead babies or a truck of alove babies? A: dead babies cause u can use a pitchfork

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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Why did the blond get fired from the M&M factory? Repeated absences and stealing.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson play with Macaulay Culkin? Because he's dead.

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Why haven't any women go to the moon? Cause it still doesn't need cleaning.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops