A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

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Why didn't the cheese buy a house plant? Cheese is nonliving and therefore cannot earn money, thus preventing cheese from buying houseplants.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. ~Stevie Wonder

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How do you make a unicorn? Jab a stick through a pink horse and name it Liam

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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what do abortion and a coat hanger have in common? they both contain 4 vowels

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whats worse than finding 30 babies nailed to 30 trees? finding coal in your stocking at christmas.

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What does a casino have in common with a woman liqur in the front, and poker in the back

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whats blue and can fly? a red robin i lied about being blue By RT so u believe me

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i put the STD in S.T.u.D all i need is U!!! F_CK all i need is U!!!!!!! o.0 lolzzz

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zebras

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face.

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What did the woman say to the black man in bed Good morning honey

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An Asian man fails a math test

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what's worse than a kitten scratching your arm? A dead baby scratching your arm...

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What do you call a fish with one eye? A fish

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OMG this totally works! Step 1: Hold your breath Step 2: Die

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Where did Suzy go after the explosion? - Everywhere.

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A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation. ~Yashar - pirater un compte facebook Peace out :)

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why did the chicken cross the road? i don't know u tell me

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a drunk man got 3 beers and a 5 whiskys

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I like my women like I like my coffee, without a dick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops