Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

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whats forever alone me

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Why didn't the little boy have a good time at his birthday party? Because his friends lit him on fire.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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What's the difference between Jews and Germans? Jews are allowed to have an opinion about the Holocaust and hoot and holler and threaten anyone who has a different opinion than they. The sad, anti-joke part of this is that most morons will actually support this tyrannical bullying behavior. Also, special taxes against Germans that they're not allowed to have a problem with. I guess slavery is okay if you're White.

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Why was the asian boy get straight A's? He paid attention during class, took good notes, studied at home, and had a personal drive that lead him to be a good student.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Why did the scarecrow get promoted? He was outstanding in his field

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If Sally has 4 apples and Dan has 3 apples, how many apples do they have together? Red, because ducks have 2 legs.

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Your mom is soooo fat..... She'll most likely suffer a heart attack

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what's the fastest way to have someone murder you tell your wife you are cheating on her

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A sixty Year old man walks into a bank to rob it. He tells the bank teller, "Take the money and put it into a bag!" The teller told him, "Sir I don't have a bag." So the old man turns around and walks out.

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Do you have to make frequent trips to the bathroom? Do you have a weak or broken stream? Do you leave the bathroom feeling satisfied? Do your frequent trips to the bathroom interrupt everyday activities? Well you should take Lunesta and just sleep. Then you wouldn't have this problem.

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? A: Depends on the size of the tub and the size of the babies.

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Why did the little boy die? Because he had cancer.

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What is big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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A man walked into a bar with his friend. He drinks a certain amount of beers, and has his friend safely drive him home.

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Want to hear the story about how I got put in prison? So I have an odd bunch of friends: one of them is Polish and he works at a call centre, the other is a slave trader and his name is Richard. We tend to meet outside our Polish friend's house to speak or to do "business" when need be (I run errands for Richard) and the other day that's where I got asked to kidnap an American. "That's strange" I thought, but nevertheless I went out and took the American from his house and carried him over in a sack over to our meeting place. I handed him over and sneaked off as soon as I could, thinking I was home free. But I wasn't. The police turned up all angry like. There were witnesses. Turns out a bunch of kids saw me giving Dick a Yank next to the telephone Pole.

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He do you get an emo kid to stop cutting himself? Take away his knife.

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What do you call a man with a cigar in his mouth. A person with bad health and dirty teeth.

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing your mum having sex

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We are not familiar with the specific circumstances, therefore its difficult to determine exactly why.

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How do you know your sister is on her period? - Your dad´s dick tastes like blood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops