A cow says moo and explodes.

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why did the grandpa drop his big mak??? Because an army tank hit him

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How do you shoot a basketball? With your hands

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To tell the truth... Your really an abortion that grew

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What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

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Why didn't Sarah come to school today? She had a heart attack and died.

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roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweat and so are you

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Why do you touch yourself at night? Because I do too

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Why couldn't Ray Charles read? He was blind.

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Knock knock Nobody's home.

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Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

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here's a joke... the american education society

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A special needs student walks into a girls change room, and is then escorted out unaware that what he did was socially unacceptable.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Who. Who who? ... Who?

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Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

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What is worse than finding a dead bug in your coffee? September 11, 2001

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A woman walked into a club. Or at least, that's what her abusive boyfriend told the police.

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A guy is walking on the beach one day when he stubs his toe on something shiny. Digging in the sand he finds an old, tarnished lamp. He takes it home and liberally applies polish, then puts it on his mantlepiece, it completes the look he was going for in his room and he feels like all his wishes have come true. His wife dies in a car accident later that day.

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What did the fish say when it was being fried? That's crazy, fish can't talk.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your physician, you're going to die.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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What's the worst part about aids? Telling your wife and kids.

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Yo momma is so ugly that she should probably consider suicide

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When life gives you lemons you squirt them in someones eyes and steal what life gave them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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