Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

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Her hair was fine, her scent was great, now show me your fucking ****.......please

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Question: What did one lesbian say to the other lesbian at the grocery store? Answer: Will that be paper or plastic?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a knife Take off your clothes

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what do you call a pizza with a lot of jalapenos. spicy.

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A horse walks into a bar, it gets a concussion. -mattobrado

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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

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What did Helen Keller say after the Iron Maiden show? Nothing, she is a mute.

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Why didnt little timmy have a pencil? He was poor

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Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

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Why did the man cross the inerstate? Well, he only got half way till he got hit by a truck, but he wanted to, it was suicide. oh ya, it wasnt a man it was a chicken. oh well. They are both dead.

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What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

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knock knock whos there your mother open the door

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i asked my friend about the holocaust... umm it turns out hes a jew yaaa sorry then i screamed califona fire asin tits then ran

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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What does have stripes, give milk and can fly? A zebra, a cow and an eagle.

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LOL -LOL GUY

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How do you kill a pirate? Throw him of a bridge

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What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

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What did the woman get for her 18th birthday? Stabbed to death.

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What's long, hard, and full of seamen... A Submarine

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Cigarettes are a lot like hamsters. Perfectly harmless until you put them in your mouth and catch them on fire.

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What's sad about a pile of dead people? They didn't have life insurance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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