So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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Why did the boy stop singing? Because his lungs collapsed.

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A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

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retard

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What are the four season of Canada? Cold, cold, cold and road work.

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As a teen girl was walking through the perfume shop, she picked up one called, "Swirly Paradise." She sprayed it on her and sniffed the sweet scent. Suddenly, the world spun around and she suddenly woke up inside an empty bra. A mouse sniffed her and ate her alive.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Ask me if I'm a carrot Are you a carrot? No

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Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

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Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

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What is a vampire's favorite desert? Assuming they are real I dont think they would enjoy it in the daylight, so really there's no point.

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My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Emergency call: - Please help, my little son swallowed a condom! 5 minutes later - It is ok, I found another one.

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Why did the deer stop running? It was hit by a car

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not finding a worm in your apple, i quite like them actualy

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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A rock walks into a bar. The town goes into extreme panic and is abandoned because rocks are inanimate objects.

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A kid walked into a bar and ordered a drink and then was arrested for drinking under the age of 18

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What Is big, round, and looks like gaben. Gaben!

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Q: What did the monkey say to the parrot? A: I like trains so feed me bananas!

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What did the Jewish man say to the banana? Nothing, because he has common sense

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? No I said Lou. Oh hey Lou come on in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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