You want to know how I got these scars? A horrible knife throwing accident.

What's green and has wheels? A frog in a wheelchair

yo mama is so old i told her to act her own age and she told me to shut up and get out of her house.

How do you make a clown sad? You kill his family.

What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

hey hey hey wanna hear a joke.....................................MENS IQ!!!!!!

There are 3 Chinese guys migrating to the USA, Chu, Bu and Fu. . Chu added a 'ck' to? his name and became Chuck Bu did the same thing and became Buck. Fu got sent back to china

What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

Why did little Susie Fall in the well? She had downs.

Someone threw a cigarette at me today... What a fag.

Person 1-How do you spell pulmonary embolism? Person 2-P-U-L-M-O-N-A-R-Y E-M-B-O-L-I-S-M. Person 1- Thanks. Person 2- Your Welcome.

Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. Ask me if I'm a bush. Are you a bush? No.

Chuck Norris can drive a car using just his hands and feet!

Knock Knock. Who's there? Salesmen. Does this smell like chloroform to you?

Why did the man fail to enter the CAPTCHA phrase correctly? Because he was actually a bot, and bots are typically prohibited from accessing information on most public web sites.

So these two gay guys walk backwards into a bar.

whats worse then 9/11? -George W. Bush

Did you hear about that one time (@ band camp lol) where there was a little boy and he wanted to go swimming sooooo abd and then ooo look squirrel

What's the square root of 69 Jimmy? Square root of 69 is 8 something right? Cus I've been trying to work it out oh. Jimmy! It's 8.306623863 >.

The awkward moment when you find your wife on the online dating site you are on.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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