I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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Ask me if I am an orange. "Are you an orange?" No.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your couch? My brother.

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What did the blind man say to his wife? Nothing, for he was mute too

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What's more dangerous than bungee jumping without a rope? Getting into a car with Ben Colbert.

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Yo momma is so fat... Her body mass is above average.

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What do you get when you cross a Shake Weight with Parkinson's Disease? You get a sentence that doesn't explain the end of the joke and leaves you without any closure.

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Why was the stress line down? Because now the population is one-hundred short of yesterday.

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Duck A lays an egg which rolls into Duck B's nest. To whom does the egg technically belong to? Neither, ducks do not have the legal right of ownership.

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What's worse than breaking your leg? Finding out that your family has died due to an infection causing all of them to perish in horrible deaths

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A guy vociferiously kills another person- fueled by the incentive of personal gain provided by his rapacious, human nature. He is an army soldier who's triumphant in battle and hoping to recieve a promotion. However, ultimately all he did was essentially insignificantt and his acts of purported valor were diametrically unnoticed by all except for his closest friends/allies. He never did supass his original self of a soldier and died of a natural cause that was disclosed only to the members of his immediate family.

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Wow, thats warming to the core Nero, you are really sweet when you want to, I was having a lot more than second thoughts, I mean I do not mind the thought of sex with you really and I mean that, but losing who I already consider my best friend would just be sad. So uh, sex once huh? I mean, one more feather on the uh, hat thing, is that what this is about to you?

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What's funny about my gay friend? He is a stand-up comedian.

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your a towel.

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HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

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For anti-joke.com, there should be a section called "Hot" that shows new jokes which are given 5 thumbs up or up. This way we would get new jokes on the popular section instead of having the same ones for a very long time. I know this isn't a joke, but thumbs up if you agree.

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Why does the little boy play video games all the time? Because he is socially awkward and has no friends.

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What did the young boy say to the adorable kitten? "Aww"

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If an iPad 2 is better than an iPad 1, than what's better than an iPad 2? An iPad 3

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to see his mother before she passed away of terminal cancer

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What happened to the boy who stalked the pretty girl? His father raped him and he died in a house fire induced by his overwhelmingly sick love for the taliban

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A guy walks into a store and buys a sandwich.

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what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb. One, of course. Assuming he/she does not have any physical or mental handicaps.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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