There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

thumb_up thumb_down +7

a black man jumps in a pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did tarzan say when he saw the elephants? Here come the elephants

thumb_up thumb_down

What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny? Nothing. Nothing happens when you insert batteries backwards

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: Wgat did Batman say to Robin before Robin got in the car? A: "Robin, get in the car"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Napoleon cross his legs? Because he had to go to the bathroom

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why didn't little Timmy get anything for Christmas? He was an orphan living on the streets.

thumb_up thumb_down

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

telling real jokes on anti-joke is a form of anti jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why couldnt james zatts swim? he was half black

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Difference between African children and a fat boy? nothing, they're always hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you get a blonde's attention? Throw deodorant at her until she looks.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

-What's sad about four black guys driving off a cliff? -They were my friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the Mexican guy run to the hospital? Because it was faster than walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did the pillow say to the dragon? Nothing, because pillows don't talk, dragons aren't real and this is a highly improbable circumstance.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

your father died

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man has aids. He has plenty of sexual partners and they all contract the disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Several occupants leave as they realise the danger of the large animal.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why does sammy have a cut on her arm? becuase her mom went to go stab her dad and missed

thumb_up thumb_down -6

On her day off, a fully clothed stripper walks into a bar she's never been to before. The regulars turn their heads to see who has just walked in, then turn back to their own conversations.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Ancient Greeks rights

thumb_up thumb_down -3

An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Did you know Hellen Keller had a tree house? No Neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops