Women don't have penises. Am I the only one who can't get over how WEIRD that is?!?!?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Your moms so old. She might die soon

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What does the fox say? A scream-y howl. A shrill, hoarse scream of anguish, it sounds more than anything like a human baby undergoing some kind of physical torture.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Little Jimmy cross the road? Little Jimmy doesnt have arms and legs, silly, he cant cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down

A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, nor does the chicken because it's a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What are Antijokes? type of comedy typical joke setup anticlimax that it lack of punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what's worse than waiting 45 minutes in an amusement park ride? getting your penis chopped off.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Matrix if it had been with (as planned at some stage) with Will Smith. Normal Neo: Yes trinity lets find the others. Smith Neo: Yo pretty lady, lets go find them ho`s and chicken and stuff, then we can like go surfin and driving nuts and all that crackin stuff and then we etc etc. Normal Neo:... Smith Neo: You tellin ME this is your world Smith? Im Anderson yo and the one, Im gonna bitchmack you all and then just whoop you all with my master blaster no kidding buddy I have yellow belt Kung fu yo! Neo: We have to do something. Smith Neo; Yo unless we make a real rap video first we cant do the proper stuff you, why is this place all so green, get some colaaas! Seriously first we get carlton and then he dances his crazy dance while I go boyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ with my rap ok?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why couldn't the Canadian taste the maple syrup? Because someone cut off his tongue. -BLLJ

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because the burglars tied her up and gagged her before they robbed the house and she couldn't do anything until one of the neighbors found her and untied her.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Sally had no arms. Knock knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

So, Elvis walks into a bathroom...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I'm a raging homosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A Fish walks into a bar. It died of oxygen starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A duck walks into a bar and the bartender says"What do u want?" The ducks replays "EVERY DAY IM SHUFFLING!!!" The bartender slaps the duck in its face and quid his job. The bar has a hard time finding a replacement and his business dies. THE END

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats red and can fall on you blood from a hunted duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why do I hate Jews? - Because they use to much space in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Cheese in toast,

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's red and hurts your teeth. Answer: a brick

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa is a fictional character used to represent Christmas, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops