Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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I used to fit trough doors, but then I got tall... I used to play with other babies, but then I got tall... (daradadadadan) I used to look up to you, but then I got tall (OH YEAH!) but then I got tall, but then I got tall, but then I got tall! Moral: Censorship should be illegal.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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how many babies can fit into a microwave i dont know i havent tried

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Actually, violets are violet

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Why couldn't the mentally retarded kid hear? It was too dark.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he wanted to get squashed by the giant pancake.

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what do you call a shitty anti-joke? A shitty anti-joke.

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A termite walks intio a bar, looks the lovely timber bar up and down, and wonders out loud..."where's the bar tender?"

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream. He never got an ice cream he is alergic.

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Q what do you do when your friend tells you hes a homosexual A. you tell him that you will accept him and can still be very good friends

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How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

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how many dirty stinkin apes does it take to put in a lightbulb? 3 dirty stinkin apes, 1 dirty stinkin ape to put in the lightbulb and 2 dirty stinkin apes to throw feces at each other

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Roses are red, violets are blue, purple is a color, I like grilled cheese

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"Doctor! Doctor! It hurts when I urinate!" "you may have a kidney stone"

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A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

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how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

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Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21

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Laugh.

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whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To murder your whole family.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have down syndrome, my favorite color is potato

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What did the homeless guy get for Christmas ? Frostbite

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How do you make etheopians rave ? glue bread to the roof

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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