What did the Polish man say to his doctor? "Witam, doktorze. By?em kaszel z ostatnich kilku tygodni i jest wysypka na moim lewym ramieniu. Czy jest co? co mo?na zrobi?, aby mi pomóc?" I don't know what it means, either.

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? One crawling out of the bottom licking its lips.

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why couldn't the Jeffersons adopt a black baby? Their fireplace was empty.

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Why did the black guy only turn left? Because he was mentally retarded and couldn't tell left from right and had no idea where he was going

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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Nobody cares.

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why do people put their pants on in the morning? because their not nudists.

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What did the atheist say as Jesus walked past? nothing, he ran to the nearest bar and called the insane asylum.

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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch". The nearby patrons ask him what is ailing him.

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There was once a little boy... Boy: Daddy, I am so proud of you that when I grow up I want to be just like you! God: Son how dareth thou! That is a horribleth and shameful wish! I just called the adoption agency thy areth noteth my... er.. sonneth anymoreth! NOW GO TO HELL! Oh, and you get same powers as I by the way, just for Good measure or something, except I can destroy you whenever I want, I just do not want to because your evil will hopefully make me look good in comparison after I rid the world of the first testament anyways :P Boy: Yay? :( Where is hell by the way? Moral: That little boy grew up to become... SUPERMAN! While Satan never discovered what hell was since its a concept added by corrupt priests around the 1700`s in order to scare people into following their God instead.

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Why do girls wear perfume? Because they smell and they're ugly

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Yo mumma so poor that she dosent have any money

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What do you call a person with no eyes? Blind.

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YO MAMMA SO SKINNY SHE HULA-HOOP THIER A CHEERIO

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Why did the tree fall? I cut it.

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What is blue and has to deal with a vagina. Blue waffle you know who has that Jews But the jews got it from the gassing and the gassing got it from hitlers wifes piss but the blue waffle came from the lesbian she had sex with when she was doing her lesbian phase but the lesbian got it from her father and the father got it from his wife.

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What is sticky and smelly - a stick

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven beat and raped Six when he was child multiple times, and Seven threatened to kill Six if he told anyone.

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Q:why did the boy not have to walk his dog? A: because the dog and the rest of his family died in a terrible house fire while he was away at summer camp.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, I have amnesia.

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SAY

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a man was shot.... he died

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What do you call a black man with scissors.? A Barber.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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