How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at its face.

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How do you get a black man down from a tree? If the man cannot climb down himself, perhaps call the fire department.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you, f*** you.

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*knock knock* *knock knock * ? ? The man didnt answer because he died of a stroke

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What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance.

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what do u call a joke with no punchline? A joke with no punchline

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what's the difference between a pogo stick and a traffic cone? well for starters, traffic a cones main function is to cordon off areas or alert drivers to certain areas of road that are not to be breached and pogo sticks are used as toys to heighten bouncing. I'll stop here but the list goes on.

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Why did the woman scream when she saw her brother? Because he had just come back from fighting in the Iraq war and she was extremely happy to see that he's alright

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what do JFK, plato, and a dead penguin have in common? theyre all dead.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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Why couldn't the black man be an astronaut? He was not qualified for the Job

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What happens when you run out of butter You ask antonio

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What do you call a muslim with an RPG? Holy Shiite

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What's funny about a car accident involving three children, a widow, and a dog? Nothing.

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Whats 1 foot long and went in and out of my girlfriend? Our new baby

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What's worse than Twilight? New Moon. What's worse than New Moon? Eclipse. What's worse than Eclipse? Breaking Dawn. What's worse than Breaking Dawn? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Breaking Dawn Part 2.

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A Catholic Priest, an Anglican Priest, and a Rabbi were in a train carriage together because they got a package deal to go to a conference on religious tolerance. Good for them.

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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Lindsay Lohan

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What did Stephen Hawking say after he scaled Mount Everest? Yay!

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Holocaust jokes are not funny. And I don't see the humor behind them.

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How much is that doggie in the window? $4.95 + Shipping&Handling

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: Because his mother just got raped.

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack" Ducks don't talk. But if it were to say something it would probably mention how it is concerned about the fact that the majority of people on the internet don't know what ducks say to each other.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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