So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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What did the 4 year old black kid ask his father for Christmas? A yo-yo. nah im just kidding he doesnt know who his father is.

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What did the man say to the other man? yummmmm

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

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What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

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My life is a dream in of itself.. inception???

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There is no "I" in "TEAM" However, there is a "T" an "E" an "A" and an "M"

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why was the woman making a sandwich in the kitchen? because at the age of 3 she faced the hard reality of being nothing more in life then serving her husband to the day she die

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Why did the man walk into a bar? Coz he felt like it.

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Your mom is so dumb that she doesn't get this joke

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it was all Tagart

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What is not a crocodile? The teenage mutant ninja turtles

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Q: What do you do when your friend tells you he murdered someone? A: Call the police.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, Herp Derp

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A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" asked the bartender. "It's genetic." replied the horse, amazed at the man's incapability to understand horses.

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have you tasted chocolate flavoured slurpee? no. i haven't either

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Why was the cat meowing at the chicken? Because Sally got hit by a fridge.

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It wa Jerry's first day of kindergarten He pulled out a .44 magnum and shot himself under the chin where he was instantly dead... Yes, dead

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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What worse than a baby nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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whats long and black? a baton

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

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What did the aliens say when they first landed on planet Earth? We've come back for Anthony Davis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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