Why did the black man almost go to jail? He rolled a 6 in monopoly, if it was a 7, he would've been sent straight to jail without passing "go"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What is your name? A: I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's more boring than watch grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

what's worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding an apple in your pet worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's worse than getting pulled over by the police? getting pulled over and getting a bloody tampon stuck to your forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why don't you ever stick your hand into the bottom of the jelly bean jar? Cuz' the black ones will steal your watch

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whats long and pointy and guys always have to brag about whos got the biggest one? their christmas trees

thumb_up thumb_down -57

What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? Boyscouts came back from camp

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, and they don't have to be blonde, anyone can screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock Knock Who's there? A package, the UPS man is already back in his truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Grass is green, Trees are brown.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's funnier than a joke book? 2 joke books.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. And that's when I found out my Uncle Ted was a cross-dresser.

thumb_up thumb_down

Am I a cat? No, I am a human; cat's cannot type.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Which of the following is NOT true? A. The lemon is walking to a store. B. The store is walking to a lemon. C. The man is a lemon and a store. D. Peanuts are stuck in my anus

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q: what happens when you throw a red rock into a blue lake? A: a splash.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Is it considered sexual harassment if a midget says to a woman, "your hair smells nice"? Holy crap i don't like black people.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What goes up a smokestack instead of down? Murdered Jews, when they get cremated.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumbty took a great fall Because he was terribly intoxicated And failed to probably balance himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man and his horse walk into a bar, he is told to leave because animals are not allowed on the property

thumb_up thumb_down -14

look left now look right. washing machine

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops