There's an Irishman, a homosexual, and a Jew standing at a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community.

thumb_up thumb_down +5,798

why did the kid fall off his bike he had a serious illness which made it difficult for him to play sports

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have alzheimer's, cheese on toast

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a person with cancer A hospital patient, what did you expect? Oh. Of course you expected Chewbacca.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walked into a pub, and enjoys of a couple off pints. Some time later he loudly asks the gentleman next to him: Do you know about this thing called Fightclub?... The bartender had to call an ambulance, you don't talk about fightclub

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?" Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning." So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed. The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again." So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see." To which the mother replied, "April fool!"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you get a black man to run? Ask him how his day has been, catch up on some memories of your time at school together, then challenge him to a foot race.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call two gay black men? Homosexuals.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he got hit by a car because he wasn't aware of the dangers of not looking both ways. Bufoon

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did I post a joke on this website? Because I felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Women

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the Cross chicken the road? Because it wasn't the way to the Lord

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,058

what did one tree say to the other spruce up actually nothing because trees can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down

You.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the man walk into the metal pole? because hes blind and suffers from cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the mole say? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Knock Knock Who's there? Your mum, I've just raped her

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats funnier than 24, 69

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops