Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

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What's meaner than taking a candy from a baby? Tossing the baby of a cliff

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this is not an anti joke

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What's the most common way to become mentally challenged? Getting hit by a shovel a couple times

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A guy says to a palm reader "You look like you've seen a ghost. Palm reader replies "You've got cum on your hand."

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A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

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eh dylan quieres que te trolle de nuevo

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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Why did the mexican jump over the fence? It was a shortcut.

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A thin man walks into a Grocery Store. He trips, hits his head and is killed instantly. There are several children present and they are scarred for life.

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How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic men? 25

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How to find if your overweight? Ask your friend to make a big clay volcano, out of baking soda and vinegar. While its erupting if you're too busy eatin five course dinner. FAT

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did jack fall off a cliff? Coz the hill was on a cliff.

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a baleen whale walk into a bar. The priest says, "Well I believe Jesus Christ is the only begotten son of God and my lord and savior, so I'll have some communion wine." The rabbi says, "Well I don't believe the messiah has yet walked the earth, so I'll have Manischewitz wine." The baleen whale says "EEEEEEOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNHHHHHHHHHH"

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What's green and blue, and red all over? Nothing. It if were red all over it wouldn't be green and blue.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: Nobody cares because its a chicken

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Robin, please, get in the Batmobile

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What do you call 100 black men at the bottom of the ocean? A scuba group because during these hot summer months they like to cool off and go scuba diving.

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yo momma is so stupid she went and got her self checked for mental retardedness and it turns out she happens to be autistic.

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? They can't, because feminists can never change anything!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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