Why did the Catholic priest get excommunicated from the church? He couldn't read.

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What do you call a man with a towel on his head? A good target.

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what did the mom with cancer get for christmas? radiation poisoning

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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What's the difference between a Christian and a Jew? One believes in Jesus, the other doesn't.

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Q: How do you starve a Black family? A: By not giving any Food.

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what do you call a black guy in a house? a burglar

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Doorbell repairman

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The horse walks into the bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?" the horse looks at him and says, "my wife just died."

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why did the chicken cross the road because it wanted to get hit by a car

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your mother is so fat that she bought a treadmill and uses it daily. she already lost 20 lbs.

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If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Madeline McCan

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What is the opposite of Obama? Mitt Romney because he his white and a republican so all is good with him.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Reading re-posts of classic anti jokes posted by lonely teenagers.

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Who kills babies? A baby killer? No. I do.

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A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods. The rabbit stumbles into a genie while coming to a clearing. The Genie says, "I will give you both three wishes." The bear thinks quickly and says, "I wish every bear in the forest was female." The Genie then grants the wish. "And...now I wish that each bear in the country was female!" The Genie grants the wish. "AND I WISH THAT EVERY BEAR IN THE WORLD WAS FEMALE!!!" the bear exclaims, now getting overly excited by his wishes. The Genie grants the last wish and then turns to the rabbit. "Your turn." The rabbit wishes for a pair of running shoes and the well being of his family and friends. For his last wish he points at the bear and says, "I wish he was gay."

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Person 1: Did you hear the one about the guy who drank vinegar? Person 2: No Person 1: Oh

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What's a foot long and slippery A dick

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What do you call a dead baby who died by getting ran over by a car? Jimmy

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knock knock Who's there? because 7 ate 9

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Who wakes up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy? P. Diddy.

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Where's the best place to buy moon bars? Michael Toal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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