If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

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Why did the mexican jump when he heard police sirens? The sirens where very lound and abrupt. Therefore startling this mexican man.

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Politics

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What did the kid with turrets CHEESE! say to his mom.

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Why does Apple hate Blackberry? They don't fruit can be rivals.

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Why was the muslim surprised? A tyrannosaurus rex bit off his legs.

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Watermelons don't have feet.

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America needs to burn Less fossil fuels to save the environment

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Time to get a watch

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A women president

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What did the gay guy say to the other gay guy Want to make out?

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What did the priest say to the Atheist when he walked into the church? How are you?

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What is Debbie short for? She has no legs.

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A black man walks out of a store. He was carrying a receipt.

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Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

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whats red, sits in a corner and is slowly getting smaller and smaller baby with a cheese grater whats green and sits motionless in the corner same baby 2 weeks later

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Girl: I wanna get yo pants. Boy: but im wearing shorts.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.....

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Q: What do you call Justin Bieber with a penis? A: Darn good plastic surgery.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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A chicken and a triceratops walk into a bar. They both immediately recognize each other and start trading anti-jokes, of which no one else in the bar understood, for they are animals, and animals cannot speak. Which brings up the question of how the triceratops and the chicken would communicate in any way that was conversely accurate to how humans would make jokes. Also adding in the fact that they are both from different eras of time, and the people wonder why a triceratops is walking around when they are in fact extinct. Turns out, the triceratops was an animatronic that gained sentience and ran off the set of Jurassic Park IV, a movie production that was not yet announced, as Steven Spielberg was still working on other movies that were more important at the time. The chicken flew in here because he heard the bar was close-by to where he worked, so he decided to drop by after a long Friday. The bartender finally walks up and asks the triceratops, "What would you like?" The triceratops then went on a rampage and killed everyone inside because he was an alcoholic and lost his family because of it, since his ex-wife would be worked to the bone trying to raise his 2 children and adopted platypus son David. He lost everything in the divorce. Why was he in a bar then? I don't know, I can't talk to dinosaurs. The chicken then befriended the triceratops, as the chicken was a secret anarchist who sought to bring down all the stores on the street, as his mother was killed there while trying to cross the street. She fell into a manhole. The chicken and the triceratops then traded usernames on League of Legends then played out that Friday teaming up and taking down Evil. How do they play League if they're animals? Because this whole story is made up and you wasted a good 2-3 minutes trying to read this.

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I like my women like I like my coffee Without a penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops