Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

Why didn't the blond walk into the bar? Because she saw 2 other people get hurt so she ducked

MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

How do you know when a Captcha defect causes you to post the same anti-joke three times? Canteloupe.

Last night I had consensual sex with my long term girlfriend in the missionary position. It lasted approximately 4 minutes before I ejaculated into the durex extra safe condom.

What do you call two gay black men? Homosexuals.

What do you call a man who has lost both his legs, one arm, and half his eye? Larry

A man is pulled over because he is suspected of drunk driving. The officer comes to the window and is greeted by a man who then replies: What seems to be the officer, problem?

McDonald. It's run by Lawers

Your so ugly that your birth certeficate is a apology letter from the condum factory

roses are red violets are blue I'm ADHD oh look, a squirrel

Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shot in the face by a shotgun that shoots fireworks that explodes into chainsaw bullets.

Q:How do u kill a butcher A: Kill its family

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

what do you call a man with no legs? An ambulance as he seem to be bleeding very heavily.

Why was the Asian guy dumped by his hot girlfriend? Well you know what they say about Asian guys.... They are too dedicated to their schoolwork.

Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? were both lawyer's.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Barack Obama. Ok, come on in Mr. President!

A man walks into a bar and has a wonderful time drinking with his friends, arrives home at a reasonable time and goes to bed.

hi

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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