Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This makes no sense Microwave

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Erm Wait why would a chicken be on the side walk in the first place?

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What is Kanye West's main goal in life? To crush the hopes and dreams of singing stars on national television, beginning with Taylor Swift.

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Q: why couldn't anyone hear hellen keller when she fell off a cliff? A: she was mute.

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Dear Reader I am writing to express my complete and utter disdain toward the subject of your face. Rarely have I to witness such a repugnant sight. I would like to inform you that, upon most regrettably witnessing your face, my delicate stomach muscles gave way, and my morning meal, of lightly buttered Kipper and freshly squeezed orange juice most unfortunately ended up in one of the seventeen human waste disposal outlets to adorn my manor house. I struggle to comprehend how you, being such a selfish sadist, are able to live with yourself, knowing how much dismay you have caused me. Might I suggest that you pay a visit to a prosthetic plastic surgeon, in order to prevent other innocent's to suffer as did I. I request politely, but please be firmly assured in the knowledge that I will complain to the magnificent force of the police should you not comply with my reasonable request. Your face simply can not be allowed to exist in it's current form. I would go so far to say that it may be a danger to the elder's of our society, with their regrettably weak hearts.

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This ones for the dudes: Whats worse then having sex with a woman with no penis? Having se with a man

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Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

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How do you get a Hooker Wet? Dump her in a River.

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noodles

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A bleeding penguin.

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why did kim kardashian get divorced? because she was unhappy with her marrige. and because shes a slut

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A cyclist.

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What do you call a one-armed man Whatever his name is

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To find some grain.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-BD0nWgoIw

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What's worse than finding a Worm in your Apple? being Mauled to death.

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roses are red, windows are clear, get off your ass and bring me a beer

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

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Kenneth kaniff takes his hat off then he meets cosmic panda with kevin the zebra because chuck norris ate a chili pepper.

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What has 7 mouths 3 eyes and 5 noses Something very ugly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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