A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Know what's worst than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Obama

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was standing next to you.

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A: Want to hear a funny joke? B: Nah, I'm okay

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What's funnier than 9/11? Nothing. 9/11 wasn't funny. It was a terrible tragedy, the most tragic in U.S. history. If you think that is funny you are a sick person. By: Logan in South Dakota

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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Why didn't Sally go to the party? Because everybody hates her and she wasn't invited.

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If you see Chuck Norris you should probably tell him hey for me.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object.

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Where did the eight year old go during the Boston bombing? Everywhere.

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Hellen Keller walks into a bar. Well, at least she thinks she did.

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Why did the girl go to Jupiter? To get more stupider

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roses are cows violets are oranges im mental are you too

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Why can't kids do drugs in school? Because it's against the rules.

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Kevin: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Bob: Because it's extinct? Kevin: No you idiot! The P is silent! Pterodactyl: RAARRGHH! (eats Bob)

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What's three times as dangerous than a war? Three wars.

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Coldpaly is a good band

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Never mail in your wishes to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

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What's the difference between a ferrari and a penis? I don't have a stash of ferraris in my garage.

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Roses are gay, Violets are gay, I am gay.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Banana. Banana who? The Holocaust.

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What did polyvore say to wanelo? Nothing They are apps

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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