What if your name was Mr. David and the office called you down and you were wearing a dress?

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Why did the boy hate his mom? She was a fucking bitch.

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What's better than singing in the rain? Singing in a Pitt of fire. Oh wait that would be way worse than singing in the rain

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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What did one direction do? Nothing, their music is written by someone else they don't use whatever talent they have and they sound I million dying kittens.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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What do you call kids born in whorehouses? Poor, poor children.

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womens rights

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you throw her on the ground.

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How do you sleep? With a knife I just saved a lot of money by switching to Geico......with a knife I'm going to the restroom, with a knife. How do you do a back flip with no hands? With a knife. What is 2 plus 2? The answer is 4, with a knife. Would like you like to go see a movie with me...with a knife? Today, I'm going to show you how bake a strawberry chocolate cake...with knife. I'm sorry, you have the wrong number...with a knife. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side....with a knife. A man walks to a bar and orders a shot of vodka....with a knife. Omg, I just saw Miley Cyrus at the mall today....with a knife. In Soviet Russia, blah blah blah, with a knife. How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? 1, with a knife. I'll be back in time for dinner, I'm going to the gym and work on my abs....with a knife.

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

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How do you call a black person in KFC? By a Phone.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side

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Nicole: Shove it where the sun don't shine! Katlyn: I'm richer than you! Nicole: Shut your frickin' mouth! Katlyn: You'll be bankrupt! (This conversation was recorded while Nicole and Katlyn were playing Monopoly. They both died in a car accident later that day...)

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why was 6 jealous of 7? 7 had a huge dick.

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Miscarriages.

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Women's Rights.

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Guy 1: Where's your dog Guy 2: I Dunno Guy 1: I ate it

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why did the man take the bus to work he didnt have a liscence

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on the training and hence productivity of the babies.

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whats the difference between a ladybug and a jew? there is none

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I used to be an adventurer like you. But then I retired and started a family.

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What was Jenna's favourite ice cream flavour? Keyword; was, she's dead now

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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