Dad: sussy, do you know how you were made? Sussy: No, how? Dad: With this DICK!!

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Q: Whats more fun that nailing babys to a fence? A: Ripping them off.

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Psychics.

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Why aren't Anti Jokes funny? Cuz they're against my religion.

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come home from camp.

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What do you call a duck with a mustache? A duck with a mustache.

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what would u di if u were having anal sex with a black guy and his dick was soooo bi that ir rippped ur asshole? staple it back together

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Why couldn't the kid go into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13 and he was only 11!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

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Why can't the toucann fly anymore? Because they're extinct

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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Did you hear about the 4'10" psychic that escaped from prison? It's on the news! "Small Medium At Large."

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty one year olds? There's twenty of them.

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My friend and I were telling jokes the other day. Ha said " I've run out of dead baby jokes!" to which I replied " I've run out of dead babies."

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How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's a trick question: feminists can't change anything.

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Why couldn't Ariel talk in the Little Mermaid? Someone slit her throat.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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Knock Knock Whose there. Mike Mike seriously I told you to stop coming here or ill call the police But I just wanted to talk to you Ok thats it im calling the police

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Q: How much old could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Wood A:10.6 cubic metes

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why does clive keep getting crunk? because no girl satisfies him as much as geros

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yo mammas so fat when she gets cut gravy pours out

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Lillie: tell me three adjectives that would describe yourself. Ellie: pretty, smart, and funny. Lillie: if I were to analyze you...I would say you are pretty, smart, and funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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