A guy walked into a restaurant. He sat down and had a lovely meal left the restaurant got in his car and went home. The End

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Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? TO GET TO THE SAME SIDE!!!BAZZINGA!!!

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Why did the basketball player shoot the ball? Because it was being mean to him

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What happens when you lay a diamond in the water for two hours? It gets wet.

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A panda walks into a bar. He eats but then is tranquilized and taken back to the zoo.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

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How did the guy drown if he wasn't in water? A shark threw up on him

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Knock knock

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how do you make a plumber cry A: kill his family

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How do you get an alien baby to sleep? Well, first you need to get an alien baby.

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How did the boy escape the burning building? He didn't. He burned and when to hell like everyone else.

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Why did the black man rob the store? Because he was hard on money for a reason not associated with race or stereotypes whatsoever.

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It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum... ...and I'm all out of ass but still have plenty of bubblegum to sit down and chew in a quiet and leisurely manner.

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The guys Joke above me is funnier^.

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What did Grandma give little Ben for Christmas? a wheelchair

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Baking a cake can be very hard and stressful, just like beating a slut with an axe.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it because it isn't coming.

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Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

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Two monkeys are lying in a tree. Big monkey and little monkey, little monkey bites the big monkey's tale, big monkey starts jumping around the place shouting. Little monkey just starts laughing and takes another sip of whiskey.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Whats worse than your roof caving in on you? Being stabbed by yard gnomes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops