Q: What do you call a Muslim controlling a plane? A: A pilot.

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How many chinese women can you fit in a car? About the same amount as men.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He has no legs.

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was mmfmffemuuuuuffuummuuuuuluuu.

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you know whats funny... nothing.

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How do you stop an asshole from being an asshole toward you? Shoot him in the head.

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I have a great knock knock joke. You start. Go.

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roses are red violets are blue i like movies get me a taco

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If there's something strange in the neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police, because it's obviously a darky that's up to no good.

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What happened to my sunglasses?

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Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo Boo hoo? Boo hoo your parents are dead.

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Your Mom... is a very nice lady who makes good cookies

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What's funny about a Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian going over the edge of a bridge in the same car? Nothing, they all died

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A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

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roses are red violets are blue i dont give a damn how bout you

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Yesterday, I was assasinated.

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because apples can't talk.

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What is shorter than a toddler? A jewish lifespan.

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Many men trespass on my property to taste my milk based beverages. They insist that it's quality is superior to yours. I could teach you how to make such milk based beverages, but I would have to levy a fee.

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knock knock who's there ?? the police now get out !!

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Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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