What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? When I see a Porsche on the street, I think to myself, "that's a nice car," but when I see a pile of dead babies on the street I scream, "OH DEAR GOD WHY?!?! WHY?!?! WHERE IS THE MONSTER THAT KILLED THESE POOR BABIES?!?!" I then quickly alert the authorities of the hideous crime before vomiting profusely and crying until my tear ducts run dry. I sustain irreversible psychological damage and the image of hundreds of cruelly murdered infants prevents me from sleeping at night.

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Why did the black guy stop his car? There was a stop sign

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when do you go to heaven? Never

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What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

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Why was the jew crying? He just found out his newborn baby had twenty minutes to live.

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Alright alright... But you gotta promise to call me then

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Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

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Why was the black man hand cuffed by a woman cop? Because they are a married couple who feel like role play will help spark their sex life again.

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mike:what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas tom:cancer ahahahaha mike:he got a skateboard jerk nararrator: this skate board will be worth less because he has no legs

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It says so on your cap.

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A blonde walks into a hairdressers salon. She gets her hair cut.

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Jake was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. His wife looks down and sees a scale.

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whats worse then finding your mom with your boyfriend? finding your dad with your girlfriend.

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What is worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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Your mom is so fat that she actually had a pretty hard time finding a husband.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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What did the man say after falling off a bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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Q: What do you call Justin Bieber with a penis? A: Darn good plastic surgery.

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Why is a budgie Because the other leg is yellow

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What's blue and smells like sky? Sky

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What is your view on school violence? I'm all for it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops