Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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Knock knock

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An englishman, Irishman and scottishman are standing on the side of a cliff. The Irishman and englishman both jump off the cliff. The scottishman says "oh,shit".

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Alpine Ibexes climb nearly 90 degree angles to lick salt deposits off mountain sides. They crave that mineral.

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Justin Bieber

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So this guy walks into the doctor's and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor says "Yes, you've shattered both your kneecaps. You'll never walk again."

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What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

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What did the homeless children get for christmas? Hypothermia

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What happens when cole goes into a dark room? It's not possible his hair puts off too much light

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Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

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What do you call a baby with no arms or legs? You call a lawyer, and be sure to have him ask the mother if she took Thalidomide during pregnancy.

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What did the mail man say to the resident? I have your mail. Now let's f*ck.

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...................__ ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') .........\.................'...../ ..........''...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( BroFist

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Your momma so fat that she went to the doctor and he told he to cut down on the junk food because she weighs more than the average human being

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What did the father give to his son with terminal cancer for his 5th birthday? Nothing the kids going to die anyway

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Expensive cheese.

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What's white and moves at a glacial pace? A glacier.

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What did the scientist say to the postman? So your a postman?

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What does KFC stand for? Kids Fattening Center

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I'm an old man with Alzheimer's. Ok I'm going to tell you a little story. Well i was walking down the road bout 36 sum odd years ago and the next thing i knew i was........... Hmmm.... i wonder whats in the fridge...

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Q - What is worse than a nerdy joke on anti-jokes with a lot of big words in it? A - Although I get scared when i see big words, the page long jokes are probably worse

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

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What's worse than stepping on legos? Massive genocide

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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