Roses are red Violets are blue I'm allergic to both Now I'm dead

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What is the difference between an Irishman and a plank of wood? Almost everything, including anatomy, chemical make up, mass etc

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What did the prostitute eat for lunch? Nothing because she was too busy performing oral sex for money.

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what's the difference between a chicken and a grape? They're both purple........ except for the chicken

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Billy comes home from playing with his friend as he walks to his front yard he comes across his mother...she is dead on the floor his friend then says "im SO sorry your mom is dead but at least you still have your dad" Billy than replies "my mom is my dad" billy then is put into a foster home and spends years trying to recover from the fact that he is the freak offspring of a hermaphrodite

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A baby seal walks into a club. He is immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

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What do you call a black hitch-hiker? Stranded

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A man walks into a bar. - - - - - - - - -

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What do you call a cow that went through a earth quake? A dead cow.

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? Go bird hunting.

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How did the blonde burn her ear? In a terrible accident involving molten lava.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? No one OK???? BYE, BYE U still there? Yeah Umm . . . ?

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQOOJDIOOJIOAJWIODJOIAWJDIAJDOINWXIndiopwhenruioewfuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJDDDDDDMMMMMMMMMMCCCCCCCCCCCJJJJJJJJJJJJSWKKKKKKKKKKKKKWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUWBUWBUWBUWBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUWBUWBUWBUWBUWBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUWBUWBUWBUWBWUBWUBWUWBUWBWUBWUWBUWBWUBWUBWUBWUWBUWBUWBUWBWUBWUBWUBWUWBUWBUWBUWBWUBWUBWUWBUWBUWBWUBWUWBUWBUWBUWBWUBWUWBU

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qg6AkhIYVs

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The club cant even handle me right now Because theyve reached their limit of people allowed in

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Why a blonde woman eat vegetables? Because she is a vegetarian.

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Blarg

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

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Q: Why was the bacteria afraid of the sanitizer? A: Because hand sanitizers are made up of ethyl alcohol, inactive additives such as water, other alcohols and fragrances. Ethyl alcohol is the active ingredient in hand sanitizer and is designed to kill germs.

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Me: Whats your favorite color? Joe: Blue! Me: Wrong

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What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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