One day my dog ran away. We drove around for a long time looking for it.

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Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

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Why did the man Jump of a bridge? Because he got sick of his life and he wanted to die.

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Where did the Jew put his money? In a low rist, interest bearing mutual fund.

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a white man, an asian man, and a mexican man are on a plane and they realize how inefficient the airline was in filling the flight, seeing as there were only three men on board.

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Whats green and has white spots? Idk im asking you

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What's a stupid joke on anti-joke? One that involves a random number with absolutely no meaning

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

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What do you call a black man that works in a church A priest

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I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Why did Sandra fall of the swing? She had no arms... Knock Knock Who is there? Not Sandra

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What do you call a bear in the rain? A wet bear.

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Yo mama so old, she used to babysit Dumbledore

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

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Ludwig van Beethoven, John Coltrane, John Lennon, and Justin Bieber are out for lunch at a taco stand. The owner calls the police, and Justin Bieber is arrested for digging up corpses.

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A black man went into the sea. What did he become? Wet

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what do u call 2 puerto rician men playing basketball? won on won

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Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

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A woman says Renae has a butt... Two men say we don't care we have her hammer. True story.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? I can cook a pizza.

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Why was the boy hit by a bus? Because the driver is a homicidal sociopath.

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What's clear and looks like water? Water.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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