hi patrick

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem used for seasoning food, and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is the pirate's favorite letter? Z.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If you have two berries in one hand, and three in the other, what do you get when you put them together? Five.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

yo mammas so fat when she runs the world spins faster

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Did you hear about the comedian cereal killer?...He raped his victims before strangling them to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you kill a Chinese hobo Shoot him

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's sad about Justin bieber getting thrown off of a cliff Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Three blind mice walk into a bar, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

thumb_up thumb_down +268

What is worse than 10 babys in 1 garbage can? 1 baby in 10 garbage cans.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why didn't the busy San Francisco business man hear his alarm clock ring this morning? A nuclear bomb blast occurred 700 meters from his front door. The estimated blast radius was approximately 100 square miles. Naturally, his alarm clock didn't make it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

asian, do math

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the Christian man dislike gays? Because Christianity views being gay as a sin, and as a follower of the religion he decided he did not like gays.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

i woke up in the middle of the night and my entire bed was wet... know what i did? i layed a towel down and went back to sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Your mother is so ugly, because she was badly beaten.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You know what's a real drag? A club foot

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a pickle that is sad? A pickle!????

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why don't you hit a black guy on a bike? because its probably your bike

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why does the Green Giant's vegetables taste funny? He stands over his peas and corn.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops