Going to bed? Mind if I Slytherin?

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Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

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Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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Q: What's blue and yellow all over? A: A baby at the bottom of the pool with a slashed floatie. Q: What's red and yellow all over? A: A floatie at the top of a pool with a slashed baby.

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A: The live one at the bottom trying to eat his way out. Q: What's worse than that? A: When he comes back for more.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Not your dead mom.

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Why does 4 +5 = Hitler? It doesnt it equals 9.

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What's worse than getting one of your hands cut off? Getting both of your hands cut off.

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation can be known as fishing for compliments or reassurance of your value as a human being. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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Whats fast, dead and make of CGI. Paul Walker

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What do you call a Jewish police officer? It depends on if you are Mel Gibson or not.

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Q. What did Tarzan Say when he met Jane? A. Tarzan Being raised by apes and not learning English would have no knowledge of the language and would probably hoot and screech like his fellow ape brothers

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How did the gay guy greet the other gay guy? Nice to meet you.

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What did the kid say to Santa? Nothing, he was a goat.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I probably wouldn't.

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Knock knock Who's There? My name is Jeff

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did you here the one about the disabled downs child dying? of course you didn't that would be a horrible joke

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what did say when he created the first black Wow you are the first non-white I made

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Doctor, I keep imagining Doctors. *hayball rolls*

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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Why was the boy sad. Because he had been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer and he had been told he has three days to live. That's why.

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Banana

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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