Hey hey what did the bald man say to brian moccia? lOL!

thumb_up thumb_down +102

Not a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Ok good, just checking. It would be a shame for your perishable foodstuffs to go bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

no

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to its dying chicks who were just run over.

thumb_up thumb_down +86

What did little John get from reading this. Wait and you will see that the person who you were asking the question will give you a series of awkward faces until they lose interest.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did the chicken cross the road? he didn't make it

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Yo Momma So Fat!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you make a black man sad? You kill and mutilate his family maliciously

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's black, white, and red all over? Road Kill Penguins.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What happens when you murder someone? The Government murders you.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why are you on this sight? You're procrastinating. I am too

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did Jane's parachute not open? Because a plane hit her on the way down.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A woman has sex with an Asian man, then a white man, and then a black man. She chooses to be in a relationship with the black man because he is prepared for the responsibilities of a relationship and the other two men, though both are well endowed, are not ready.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A used condom filled with water and left on a radiator makes an ideal and inexpensive lava lamp.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Yo mama has had so many kidney stones she has to be on a water diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is the difference between a black guy and an asian? They are both black, except the asian

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Rape

thumb_up thumb_down -6

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops