Q: Why do geese fly in a V? A: It's more aerodynamic.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

Why arnt black people alowed in bars? Because monkeys don't drink beer! DER DA DER.

How do you make a clown sad? Rape his wife, choke his grandma and send him a video of you setting his children on fire.

A hermaphrodite walks into a bakery, orders an eclair, then leaves.

Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f*** are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a**!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

a man shoots his mother in-law He his charged with murder and will only be eligible for parole in 18 months

Why did the black man buy a watermelon? To give to his wife to cut up for his family to have at a picnic

Why did the blond put a condom on her hear? So, she would not get hearing ads.

What is a cow's favorite drink? Well, I could be wrong and this is just my opinion, but I do not believe that animals experience feelings and, in corollary, favoritism towards anything, particularly regarding basic survival needs, such as hydration.

This is a haiku Haikus are not really jokes Congratulations!

Why was the Blonde Crying? -because she had just witnessed her infant get sucked through a jet engine and was very sad.

A man walks into a bar wearing large and baggy pants. The bartender asks him, "Why the large, baggy pants?" The man replies, "Because they're comfortable."

A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

why did the white man walk into the bar? He was thirsty

why does it suck to be a black jew you get the back of the oven

Ludwig van Beethoven, John Coltrane, John Lennon, and Justin Bieber are out for lunch at a taco stand. The owner calls the police, and Justin Bieber is arrested for digging up corpses.

What does the black guy look for when he goes shopping? Some soap for his dead cat in the living room.

What did the mother say when her sons asked for a can of pop? No you have diabetes.

Why couldn't little Billy jump? He was dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Hurricane Irene.

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

Andrew: who's better at football, Peyton Manning or Tom Brady? Thomas: ur mom

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...