What does Tupac and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead but most of the people think they aren't.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How many prostitutes do I have to kill in order to get an erection? Three.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

42

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than losing the remote? Dying of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

There once was a man from nantucket. But he moved to California after he won the State lottery.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

No soap radio

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Fish don't run.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

The 19th Amendment

thumb_up thumb_down +3

chuck norris was bit by a snake, a few hours later he died

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A blonde walks into a store and tells the clerk "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes.". The blonde comes in the shop the next day with a brown wig on and says "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes". The blonde asks how he knew she was a blonde. The clerk replies, "I can see flyaway strands of your hair from the top of your wig and the synthetic hair material of the wig is not convincing.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's funny? Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q. What is the worlds biggest lie A. I have read and agree to the terms of service ?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I have a black friend that recently went to the doctor for a full checkup. I saw him today, and he we was dressed to the nines in a very expensive suit. "What's with the suit," I asked. "My doctor told me I'm impotent! So I thought, if I'm going to be impotent, then it'll be harder to attract a long term mate without the ability to give her children someday. So I've decided to showcase my impeccable taste in style to make up for it." He seemed really bummed out, so I gave him a hug and we went and had some ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, He gave me AIDS, And I gave them to you!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was Martha put in a wheelchair? She was hit by a rabid cabbage.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call someone with no legs nor arms? Mat

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they are all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Whats Black and White and Red all over? A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

belly button

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

wat does say to another bird....... chirp chirp

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops