What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

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Why was the Asian women crossing 8 lanes of traffic with no blinker? Poor chink had a seizure.

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What's ur favorite color? Cancer Made by mark

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A: Hi I am a Mormon B: I know I'm one of your wifes

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am color-blind, I hate my life

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How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

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A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

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Q: How do you win the tour defrance if you have one nut? A: Hard work and dedication.

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Knock Knock Who is there? You have no Dick

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What do you call cheese that isn't your's Well it would depend on what type of cheese it actually is

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Why was little Johnny crying? He is regularly raped by his father.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

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How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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Q) What is black, white, and red all over? A) A zebra that just became the kill of a hungry carnivore

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Connor is homo

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How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

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What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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What's worse than seven babies in a trashcan? Not much.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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Why did the Old man die? He died of old age.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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