Whats the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? Dead babies are not sports cars

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Why did the fat man get thrown out of an all you can eat buffet? He molested a waitress

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When life gives you lemons, That's physically impossible. Life cannot physically hand you lemons.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

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-Children! Come inside! -Why? -We are going out...

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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What's worst than finding a repeated joke on anti-joke? finding a real joke on anti-joke

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knock knock. who's there myhairs myhairs who myhairs fallen out

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Roses are red Violets are blue Call the cops girl They can't unrape you

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How did the dyslexic, purple horse commit suicide? It jumped off the Grand Canyon.

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What do you call a depressed nerd who plays WoW. Me....

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Why did the black man lose his leg? Because he was kidnapped and tortured.

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Yo momma so stupid, she had you.

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How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

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Did you know, even though penguins ARE birds... They don't live in volcanoes?

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Did u think that last joke was funny? Well this one isnt

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Why did the man not get his licence He was blind

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Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken

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How many dead babies does it take to paint the side of a building? I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a M.afia boss so they put him in prison.

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Knock knock ... *No ones home*

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why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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