How many black guys does it take to change a lightbulb? None can, since noone can work together because they cant see eachother.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q:If quizes are, "guizicles," then what are tests? A:Who calls quizes, "quizicles?"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When do you call 911? When you need help with do something that you either can't do alone or can't control

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't put it in a basket.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you make a girl scout cry? Steal her cookies

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What looks like a smiley face no serously what I want to know

thumb_up thumb_down -7

If I could Rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and Q together.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why didn't the women make her husband a sandwitch? Because she was struck by a car as a young child and was told she could never walk again. Her family couldn't afford a wheelchair so therefore she is bedridden all day.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you get a person to stop talking to you? Ask nicely to please be quiet and let me talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: Why cant Helen Keller drive? A: Because shes dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What did the mollusk say to the sea cucumber? I don't know. Neither of them can talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A guy walks into a bar. But it was a solid steel bar and suffered severe wounds and a concussion. Lucky for him a bystander saw this happen and called 911. The man was transported to a hospital where he eventually made a full recovery and returned to work after one year.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What time did the Chinese man go the dentist? About 5 minutes prior to his appointment

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what's brown and sticky? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down -7

So there are 2 ninjas in a dojo, The first ninja turns to the second ninja, and says something in Japanese

thumb_up thumb_down +87

What did the blind and deaf kid get for christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why didn't Pat's grandma go to his birthday party? Because she died last night

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many electricians does it take to fix a light bulb? One

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why don't black people listen to country music Because every time they here hoe down the think there wife just got shot No sorry for anybody who's black I luv ya don't think twice I have thirty blk friends

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's white and horny? a unicorn.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops