What did the dog get for Christmas? euthanization

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You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

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"Why did the chicken cross the road" "why" "to get to the gay guys house" "knock-knock" "who's there?" "The chicken..."

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses the best ingredients.

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What's black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra.

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A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital and has his wounds treated.

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What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Nothing, it's still a dinosaur! Her sexual orientation is regardless. ~kyle hudson

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Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

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Why did little Johnny eat his homework? Because his family is very poor and he rarely eats.

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What did the heroin addict get for Christmas? Aids from a used needle.

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Why was the boy sad? His friend stabbed him with a fork. Also, his mother died. Also, his dad raped him Also, he has a chode. And it really sucks when you have a chode.

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why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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Two pandas walked into a bar. The bar was in china.

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A kid has no friends.

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roses are red, violets are blue... thats what they tell me because im blind

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What do you call a Christmas tree with lights on it? A Christmas tree with lights on it.

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This is the same thing you told me once, believe me, it helps holding into it.

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Aodhan Hearty

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Infamous last words: "Phew these Germans are finally gonna let us take a shower! Okay who farted! And do not lie because it smells like gas in here!" "Oh Crickey! That reptoil looks dangerous! Good thing I am immune to reptoils... Wait are Manta-Roys reptoils? uh oh..." "Hi OJ dear! Say hello to my brothe..." Moral: Hmm my chest hurts I wonder if... YAAAAaaaaaaaaaaRAGHGHGhGHGHG *dead* RESURRECTION! Phew...

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What is worse than tripping over a stone, and falling face first into a dog shit, Not much..

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i have to pee out my ass.

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What happens if you play CS:GO? Well you loose alot of fucking money.

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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