What did the hitler youth kid get for Christmas? An easy bake oven and a G.I. Jew.

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What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? " I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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How could problems have been avoided in the old west? Bigger towns

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners unfamiliar with the Latin alphabet.

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One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

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How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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What would George Washington do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

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how many girlfriends does robert dupra have? none becomes his sister doesn't count trololololol

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawer? we are both lawyers

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Q: A man, already drunk, walked into a bar. What did he say? A: Ouch!

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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7

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

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Davey Peterson.

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How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Why was the man sitting down? He was recently paralyzed in a car accident.

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What did the Liver say to the Heart? Nothing, Organs can't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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