How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van.

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What happened to the baby that wondered into oncoming traffic? It got hit by a truck.

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what do you call a cup?... a cup

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What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

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What rhymes with turtle? Rape

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Two monkeys are having sex. They both realize they're boys.

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What did the little calculator grow up to be? Nothing

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whats long and hard on a black man? his femur.

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I can't see my forehead

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Q: Why are the Black Eyed Peas named the Black Eyed Peas? A: I don't know ask them yourself.

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Depends how you look at it, I like some girl, she and that girl gets along, I get along with the two girls, and yeah, I make them fight to the death as I consume the weakest one and make the new one my wife of darkness! Well, actually, threesomes, but NEVAH, NEVAR!! *shakes fist towards the skies* with another man! Now if my waifu wants to have some fun with a girl, I say why not (and then she asks if I want to join always so far), its genetics, you know, each caveman had like 600 wivus and he did not have time to bang them all, now let those genes go trough MAN for a couple of millenia, and he becomes the KING OF DEMONS... ME! Those other scumbags are a whole other story. Oh, and the 600 wivus did either go without sexytime, or you know... I mean you do KNOW that women are like comfortable naked together and yeah...

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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Knock Knock Who's there Your serial killer

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A pedophile walks into a daycare

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What's worse that pooping in your pants having someone see it

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A man walks into a bar He has a water, he is sober

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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no im only tryin to keep it real like a broken peice of cheese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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