Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't have to cook an onion to eat it.

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mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went this joke has no punchline

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

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How many babies can you fit on a ferris wheel? None, babies aren't allowed to ride

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I like my women how i like my coffee. Without a penis.

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

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What do a Jew and a whale have in common? They're both Jewish. Except the whale.

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Why did the chicken cross the park? To get to the other slide.

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Why couldn't the blonde turn on the TV? The TV was broken.

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Man walks into a gun store, buys a gun. The same man goes home and lives happily till he dies of cancer. His son takes the gun shots himself, survives then later dies of cancer.

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My mother always said that jumping in piles of leaves was fun. That was before she died of pancreatic cancer.

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Why do we park in driveways and drive in parkways? Good question.

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What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing becasue a mute is a person who cannot speak and a deaf man ould not hear the jumbled mumblings anyway.

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Roses are red. Violets are grey. People hate me. Mongoose.

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Why couldn't Jimmy have his birthday party at the park? Because little Jimmy passed away several months ago from the result of a vicious genocide committed by a man who didn't properly understand the affect that maiming human beings has on the friends and family members of the person; he was sentenced to jail for a fair and reasonable time for the punishment of the crime he committed in the past.

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What did Shaggy say to Scooby before they got in the Mystery Machine? Scooby, get in the Mystery Machine.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy i have alzheimers hey i just met you

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

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A buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand asks the server to make him one with everything

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Where did Ellen go after the explosion? Everywhere

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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