Hey i just raped you and this is crazy so delete my number and keep the baby

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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.Ttwo guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked.

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What do you call a group of black gentle men running down a hill A group of black gentle men running down a hill

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What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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Bill had two options the red truck or the blue sedan. Your mother is a whore.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas?... A warm meal, a shower, and a place to sleep courtesy of the local homeless unit.

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if she is old enough to bleed, she probably wears tampons.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was crossing the road it tripped on a rock. When it was getting back up, a bus went through a stop sign and ran it over. After suffering for 3 weeks in an animal hospital, the chicken died.

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"I can sell this watch for $500 dollars on the black market!" Well, you could sell your liver for $500 dollars on the black market too.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A wonderful dairy product that i can not have due to the fact that i do not own it.

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What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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An Atheist and a Christian are walking along a sidewalk going in opposite directions when suddenly the Atheist sneezes. The Christian says "God Bless You!" Even though the Atheist doesn't believe in God he understand that the gesture was a kind one and so he nods and politely says "Thank you!" before going on about his day.

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Your mom is so fat... That you inherited type one diabetes.

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What do you call a orange striped zebra? No not a tiger stupid its a orange striped zebra duh!

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elen degeneres is straight....

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Why was the Jimmy Sad? Because he had Autism.

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roses aren't red, violets aren't blue, they're all black, cause i'm colorblind. what about you?

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

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what do you get when you cross ruddell with a chicken? still a prick

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John has 5 brownies, 3 chocolate bars, and 62 cookies. What does John have now? Diabetes, John has Diabetes

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What has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm Animals

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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