Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm extremely unstable. And So are you.

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what happened to the boy who crossed the street. he got shot by a bus

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how do you punish helen keller? leave the plunger in the toilet.

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Hey, I just met you... No, I'm your brother. You've known me for 30 years. You must have memory loss.

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What was the last thing the clown said to his wife before she died? Rebecca, just stay with me, the ambulance is almost here.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not sally.

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Some black guy grabs a white guys wallet. the black guy says " hey I think you dropped this"

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how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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How do you make a Bong Ki mad? Call him a Bong Ki.

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How do you drown a blonde? A: Drowing any person no matter the color of their hair is conpletely illegal and considered murder.

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Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man said to the bartender "I'll have a H2O, please." His friend said "Yeah, I'll have a H2O too." The bartended wasn't an idiot and was aware that he was in a bar, not a science lab, and handed them both a bottle of H2O. His friend still died.

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Man walks into Malaysian Airlines "Hey, can I have the next flight to--" "This is our only policy! You pay the fare we pick the where."

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what did the farmer do? plant

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Peer pressure.

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whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Tell her to inform the police that her significant other is assaulting them and that she should file a restraining order.

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why did ya dad eat ya food?? because ya sister

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If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

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Why didn't Bill go to the party? He wasn't invited.

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Why do black people smell? So blind people can hate them too.

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Why did the little girl cry? The little girl cried for mercy as her attackers violated every inch of her innocent body, tearing her up from the inside until her organs were forced out of her anus and blood squirted from her ears as the pressure inside her body exceeded to a maximum. After the attackers were done with the corpse, they cut off her limbs and stapled them to her head.They placed her now decomposing body on the front porch of the worried parents' house and rang the doorbell.

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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Yo' mama so retarded shes retarted!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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