What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the boy sad? Because a freak accident killed his mum his dad his best friend and he lost both his legs and is unable to feed himself

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why didn't Joey play with the other kids on the playground? Answer: He was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did Johnny stop walking halfway to school? A fridge fell on him.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

since when?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

how do you get a rat out the house you lift it up and put it outside

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

No thank you, I don't like violence

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I was diagnosed with Clinical Depression the other day.... It made me sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,489

"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: What is a laptop that sings? A: A Dell

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Faces like yours belong in the Zoo. Don't be mad I will be there too. Not in the gate but laughing at you.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

yo mamma so ugly I think she has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats brown and smells bad poo

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Whats green and has wheels?? - Grass, I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

10+10=20. 20+20=40 40-10=30 I have 2 penises.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why did the man ride the helicopter,because he was hurt horrible in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How did the mouse die It was eaten by a cat How did the cat die It jumped into the bathtub and drowned

thumb_up thumb_down +12

TIMMY

thumb_up thumb_down -23

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

i dont like chris

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops