Knock knock. Who's there? Apple. Apple who? Apple juice.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and death, making her oblivious of her surroundings and would be a danger to fellow commuters. -mac

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Ham sandwich

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "What'll it be?" The man quietly gazes out at the other people in the bar. He continues to do this for a while, until eventually the bartender calmly taps him on the shoulder to get his attention, and the man turns to look over at him. "What can I get you today?" He asks the man. "What?" the man replies. Turns out he's deaf. Who knew?

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Non-believers.

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Why did the house stink? There were decomposing bodies under the floor boards.

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Yo mommas so fat that when she walked into the ocean all the whales were far away. However, if the whales did happen to be closer to your mom it would be highly improbable that they would sing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it doesn't matter because he got hit by a bus before he could even make it.

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Knock knock. Who's there? To. To who? To whom.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawer? we are both lawyers

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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A dyslexic man hears a joke, and laffs.

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A penguin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

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Doctor! Doctor! Can I have a second opinion? The Doctor then sits the patient down and tells them from a different perspective that they have terminal Cancer and will be dead by the end of the year.

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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7

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven.

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint.

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van.

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What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? " I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant scorpion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops