Why did the child not go to his mother's funeral? He was adopted, he didn't know his real mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a really creepy movie

thumb_up thumb_down +24

So lion bites off a mans foot. He bleeds to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How did Jimmy get into the R movie? He bought a ticket.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A white man walked into a bar, and an indian walked into a totem pole...

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q: What is worse than a dead baby in a trashcan? A: A dead baby in 10 trashcans.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what do you call a woman with cancer wearing a wedding dress? a shouttellcock

thumb_up thumb_down

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

That awkward moment when a loved one dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the little and energetic girl fall down? Because I snapped her neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man in a wheelchair walks into a bar... ...wait a second.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is brown and sticky? The substance used to line your stomach when getting your stomach pumped.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock. Go away!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the penis say to the vagina? Nothing, genitalia can't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the black man say to the jewish man? Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the catholic priest say to the little boy? Nothing sexual, that kind of behavior isn't as widespread as people think.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

One day a man discovered he could suck his own penis. Unfortunately he was heterosexual and could derive no pleasure from doing so as he was acutely aware of the fact he had a penis in his mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did Thisara say? You cant see me bich

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a jew with no money It doesn't really matter because all jews have money

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Did you see Helen Keller at the movie theater? I didn't either, she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man goes into the doctors office for his yearly checkup. The man waits patiently for several minutes until the doctor is ready to see him. After about ten minutes pass, the doctor is ready to see him. The man enters the doctors office. He passes all of the necessary tests. The doctor and him talk for a while. After a few minutes, the doctor says, "Okay, thanks for coming. See you next year." The man thanks the doctor and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops