Q: what do you call a hooker you pay in spaghetti? A: a pasta-tute.

There is a blonde, a redhead, and a brunnette stuck on a deserted island. the redhead gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk the 100 miles back to shore. she begins swimming, gets 10 miles out, gets tired, and drowns. the brunnette gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk it too. she gets 50 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The blonde decides to escape as well. she is able to swim 98 miles, gets tired, and swims back.

what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

What did the hat say to the scarf? Nothing.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

i want justin beiber to release more albums so that i can not buy them

Roses are red,violets are blue, im epileptic sdblkselhvefbed

A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

What do you call poop in a black man's toilet? Poop.

What do you call 200 black men jumping from a plane? Night

Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

Why was the man sad? His wife left

Why did the clown want a new bike? Don't ask me, clowns are allowed to want things too

A whale's vagina

women's rights

what do you call a dog with no legs? whatever his owner named him it is a shame he can`t run and play with other dogs.

An Irishman walks out of a bar...

I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

Q: What do you give a woman with everything? Nothing. You own nothing to give.

josh Roberts you speccy CUNT

Some Minions have one eye, others have two. And nobody seems to care.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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