3 guys walks into a park. Which one was holding the beer? None, all 3 guys were elementary kids

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what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

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How do you get a woman out of a car? You drive it into a river and her body will float to the top.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

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what to you call a black person that flies planes? a pilot YOU RACIST

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What's 9+10 Ebola

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Hickory dickory dock, The mouse ran up the clock, Barbara called the exterminator, Who killed all 10 of them.

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Well, first of all, what I have overcome both mentally (trauma) and physically (lots of shit) is in the past, lets leave it there. Second yeah, I can basically shift my sense of left and right at will, meaning I can choose which arm to write with, and write things mirrored without even thinking about it, I can fool my senses basically, one second I struggle playing the piano because I have just trained with one, then I make my brain believe I have been practicing with both, its simple, but complicated to explain, while my ears are perfectly normal, I got two sets of balance nerves, it just gets more complicated from there.

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What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? My d**k.

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2 muffins are in the oven. After about 15 minutes, they both died.

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Steve Jobs.

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How did the man lose his arm? beacuse of the five year old with a knife obsesion standing right beind you at this minute...

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How do you drown a blond? Keep her head underwater until her lungs fill with water and her bodily functions stop working.

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i like men but im not gay

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What do you call a gynochologist named John? John

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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the moment right after you finish the last harry potter and remember the world wasn't saved and you still have cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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What has two legs and is covered in red. Half a dog.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KGB Yes, How can I help? We are looking for a local serbian mobster who we believe to be hiding in this Village have you seen this man. No I cant say I have. Sorry Well thank you for your time and if you notice anything please try and let the local Police know.

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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what did the dirty homeless girl get for Christmas -A DILDO

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This guy gets on a plane and leaves he takes a bite of a green Apple and says to sower then he takes a bite out of a red Apple and says to sweet so he takes a bite of a gernade and says to crunchy so the plane lands and he walks past a little boy crying and says little boy why are you crying because a green Apple came down and hit my dog in the head so he's walking along and sees a nether boy crying and says little boy why are you crying cause a red Apple came down and hit me on the head so he's walking along abd sees a little girl laughing little girl he says why are you laughing cause I farted and the building be hind me bluw up lol ????

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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