A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Yes" the man replies, because he is aware that the bartender wasn't actually asking if the day way long, but rather if the day was hard.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

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are you lazy? -yes -Why are u lazy? -cause am lazy

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joe: guess what. Bob: what. Joe: nothing I just wanted to talk

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because

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A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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How do you change you dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

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What does Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobil? ... - Come on Robin, let's get into the Batmobil...

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How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

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what do you call a small midget? a smidget.

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How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

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What do you call a black guy doing community service? Someone who wanted to give back. Stop being racist.

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You're tearing apart, Lisa!

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant scorpion.

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why did little marwisheafuck want a cat for hanukock because her dad had ciilled a black priest that ate free mdicks out of a mshitfuck

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Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

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Friends are like potato, when you eat them die.

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What happened when the dinosaur walked into a lake? It got wet

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Why did the weird alien jump everywhere? You probably don't want to know. If you learned why it jumped everywhere,you probably would make fun of it. I don't know if you know this, but aliens are sensitive. If you made fun of him, you probably would create World War 3:Humans VS Aliens.

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Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

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Want to know who gets head a lot? Balloons

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It takes a minute to know somebody, an hour to fall in love, but a lifetime to forget. Once, my mom forgot me at Disney World.

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Q: What do you call a midget psychic who escaped from prison? A: His or her name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops