What's hard, long and full of seamen? an erect penis.

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Knock Knock No one answers....

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Why couldn't the basketball player jump anymore? Because he broke his back.

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What do you call when you see a man murder 8 black guys? The police.

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Q:What's black, wrinkled and smells like raisins? A: A raisin.

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Your life That's the joke

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What do you call Jake Morter? Jake Morter

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Why did the girl drop her lolly pop? She was hit by a bus.

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock WHAT THE F*** DO YOU WANT?!?!?!?! Oh, well then nevermind

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"Look me in the eye" said Cyclops.

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What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

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How do you make a wall a darker shade of red? You throw the baby harder.

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Goats are like mushrooms, If you shoot a duck im scared of toasters

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A three-legged prostitute, a coal miner, and R. Kelly walk into an all-midget rendition of Stravinsky's Rite of Spring. The miner has a heart attack and dies. The concubine and the vocalist do nothing to help.

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Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

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What did the podiatrist say to the proctologist? That athletes foot fungus is clearing up nicely.

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Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin... Nothing they are muffins.

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What doesn't kill you makes you...... A paraplegic

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Methodist minister were playing golf. The Priest won by one stroke.

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hi bye

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What animal is green and eats a green rockeater? A green green rockeater eater. What animal is green and eats a green green rockeater eater? A frog.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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