Q: What were Peter's emotions after he bought his $2 million house? A: None, in fact he has no home, family and anyone to help him. his leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? because she was SHITFACED!!!!

You still alive? I used to be called proteus by the way, but then you disappeared and Neronism or watever its called now turned insane. I mean we killed you man! Out of mercy, you telling me a jacket changed you and everything? Where have you been? Six million followers? And all the shit that has made "moral man" the most lauded thing on Horsehead is you? Mind helping me make sense out of all of this?

Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

Why did the chicken cross the road... so people could keep asking that question for 4000 years

Guns don't kill people. Dangerous minorities do.

What do you get when you throw a hand grenade in a French bathroom? Imprisonment up to 15 years in an international detainment facility.

A caterpillar and its mom (a butterfly) come upon a lion eating an antelope. The caterpillar says "Mom, why is the lion so mean to the antelope?" The mom replies: "it's the circle of life." The next day, the caterpillar and his mom witness a bird of prey swooping down and eating a mouse. The caterpillar asks why the bird of prey is so mean and the mom responds by saying its the circle of life. The next day, the caterpillar and its mom come across a trail of dead animals. They follow the trail to the end where they see a great lion. The mom opens her mouth to say its the circle of life when her son jumps up and eats the lion. THE END.

Q.Whats funny about death A.You die

A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

Hi

What happened when the young boy farted. It smelled. :)

ok everybody to make this more simple we all have to line up alphabetically by height.

What happens when a jew with a boner runs into a wall? He hurts his face.

What do your friends have in common with a tree? They both fall down when you hit them multiple time with an axe

Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Sorry, what? your door is kind of thick.

How do you make a baby cry? You leave it unattended

Knock knock Who's there? NYPD you are being placed under arrest come out with your hands up.

What's green and brown, and if it fell out of a tree on you it would kill you? A billiard table?

Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

What happens when a rabbit is late for a very important date? Nothing, rabbits have no logical way to keep track of time.

Asians

ALCATRAZ IS REOPENED!

what's gay as AIDS? The way you got it

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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