what do you call a black man in the dark? missing.

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A dog walks into a bar and succumbs to heartworm.

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Why was the orange so serious? He was trying to concentrate.

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If Chuck Norris were to roundhouse you. Then something previously happened before the altercation, that caused tension.

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Your mother is so ugly corrective surgery would not be able to improve her appearance

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Your mom is so fat that she has to wear larger clothes than the average person.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the black man quit his job as a rapper? Because he was an admirable father and husband and was willing to sacrifice his passion to provide for those he loved.

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Why did the man rob the house? He had a horrible childhood which led him to making these bad choices.

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What's long, black, and the tip is shaped like a mushroom? A mushroom.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Spilling Dr. Pepper on your carpet

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Easy, you get a phone with a recorder that rather than playing a "please leave a message after the tone", plays the same tune as if the phone was still not picked up. Now tell me here and now, because I wont waste more time on you, what part did you play in this? Jenny Chatterton? Another one of your pseudonyms? What the fuck did you think would happen? You live in the Uk, london, so, tell me everything, or I will share every single detail here.

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What did the child say to the clown? For a professional entertainer, you're not that funny.

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What did the man get when he returned from Africa? AIDS

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Why was the dinosaur laughing so hard? He heard a very humorous joke

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Sometimes when you drink sperm you choke

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A basket full of puppies can do anything, except put out a fire.

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Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

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There once was a man from Nantucket Who was stung on the head by a wasp When asked if it hurt he replied, 'not a bit, and he could do it again if he'd like to.'

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An Ethiopian fell into an alligator infested river. He ate 7 of them before he got out.

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What did the poor boy get for Christmas? Orphaned.

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Whats the difference between cake and dead babies? Cakes make people happy while dead babies are a sad and disturbing sight to see.

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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What do you call a dolphin without a head? Dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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