What does an Irishman order at the bar?? A beer

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

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Q: How do Hellen Keller's parents punish her? A: They give her a timeout

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I didn't choose the thug life... I got a job.

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What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the young boy? God bless you.

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Did you see my sandwitch? No. I am your sandwitch, and therefore no one thought to put me up to a mirror. Would you like me to? No. I have no eyes. And why are you talking to a sandwitch??? ...

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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im a barbie girl in a barbie world !!!! no your not its not phisicly possible for a plastic doll to have any form of feelings !!!!!

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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I once saw a small Italian man wearing trainers with a smart suit. He looked like an idiot, but I considered the option that he may not have had any money left after buying the suit to buy shoes. Exercising diplomacy, I left him be and enjoyed a nice meal with he and his trainers.

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What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An extremely talented reptile.

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What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, wanna f***.

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What animal is green and eats rocks? The green rockeater

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I really want to know something would all of you like to go on Suspension for 3 weeks? Mr Goodwin

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Your mother is so bad at cooking that people often remark on how bad at cooking she is.

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A man makes a sandwich.

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Why did Bob get off the swing? Because he was done.

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Bird jokes are not funny! Crow up!

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joe diragi makes paul look straight

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Roses are red Violets are blue Its 2 in the morning Go the f+%& to sleep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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