Roses are red Violets are blue You don't want to be my valintine I'm going to shoot myself.

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Why was the kid underwater? He hit a rock.

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what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

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I may have Alzheimer's. But at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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q: why do mens testicles hang? a: so woman can kick us in em

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Q. Why did Sarah fall off of the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

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What do you call someone who kills a black person? A cop

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why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

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Sticks and stones can break my bones Well maybe you shouldn't play in the tree anymore

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Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

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Why do woman cook dinner? Because their husband has 6 jobs and is trying to support his family so she does a part and cooks dinner.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Why did the man Iorn his face? Because he felt like it.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, your mother is a whore

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why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

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How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas? He's his dad. He bought the presents.

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What's the difference between and black dick and a white dick? To get to the other side

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

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What does 1 black person on the moon mean? A problem. What do 2 black people on the moon mean? A problem. What does every black person on the world on the moon mean? It's still a problem.

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watermelons are red, pineapples are yellow. i'm not a poet, say hello for me.

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Why did the man say ow? He got his dick caught in his zipper.

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How does the cow say cash i dont know ask him he is the cow.

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Roses are red Violets are Blue Let's just screw

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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