If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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Why was six afraid of seven? because seven had diarrhea

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what do you call a dear with no I? No I dear

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Who the heck do you think you are?! Ally...duh

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.

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Cashier: Have a nice day sir! Grumpy man: Don't tell me what kind of day to have ya fruit!

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What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

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\ \ \\ \\ >\/ 7 _.-(6' \ (=__._/` \ ) \ | / / | / > / j < _\ _.-' : ``. \ r=._\ `. \ > ,.-' >.'

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar and says "Lipstick is the blood of all wounds." The bartender does not know how the kangaroo said this or why.

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Why did the man shoot up the movie theater? Because he spent his whole child hood playing Call of Duty Black Ops II, Left 4 Dead 2, and Minesweeper. And video games, are the only thing that would rive someone to shoot up a movie theater.

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liam buchan is gay !

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blood is red also Nothing else is blue

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his toadstool.

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What is your view on school violence? I'm all for it.

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almost as accidental as your spelling im afraid

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who is 2 chainz? no one 2 chains is just 2 chains. spelled with an "s" not a "z"

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a boy fell in mud... a kid took a bath with bubbles... bubbles was the girl next door!

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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Q:how many ping-pong balls do you need te get a crocodile off of a slide ? A:none, because an engine doesn't have doors

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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What's big, white, and when it falls out of a tree, it can kill you? A refrigerator.

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Why was Hellen Keller blind and deaf? Because she was a girl.

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How its supposed to go: Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mopwho? How my friend Cassidy did it: Knock knock Who's there? I eat my poo! Oh wait I screwed up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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