What Happened to the man who married a money? He contracted HIV

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Ask me if I'm a peanut. Are you a peanut? Yes. Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No, I'm a peanut.

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Robin, get in the car.

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Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

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What was that pirate movie rated? PG-13

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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Why did the cat have hair? Because he did.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender

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Q: Did you know Hellen Kellers father was a skilled craftsman? A: Neiter did she.

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knock knock! whos there? me! me who? thats right! whats right? meehoo! thats what i want to know! whats what you want to know? me who? yes, exactly! exactly what? yes, i have an exactlywatt on a chain! exactly what on a chain? yes! yes what? no, exactlywatt! thats what i want to know! i told you--exactlywatt! exactly what? yes! yes what? yes, its with me! whats with you? exactlywatt--thats whats with me! me who? yes! Go away! knock knock.....

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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A: Knock knock B: "NOOOO" A: *Comes in, sees masturbating son*

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What's brown and liquidy? Brown paint.

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So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds? They're of legal age to give consent.

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so a black guy goes to a hot dog eating contest how many does he eat? enough to win.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer

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b r o k e n k e y b o a r d ! ! p l e a s e h e l p ! ! ! ! !

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What do you call a woman with one leg? An amputee

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the WNBA.

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

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What job did the black man apply for?.. Several, its a downward economy.

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Can midgets still have big dreams?

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Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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