Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

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How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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What did the apple tree say to the farmer? Well! since trees nor apples have the ability to talk I would say the apple tree said nothing. And if the farmer thinks it did say something he should visit the doctors to check his hearing. The End.

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Q: How Do You Stop a Bus? A: Pull the Brakes so it comes to a absolute stop.

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whats worse than seeing a repeated anti-joke? The Holocaust.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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What's worse than finding a dead fly in your soup? Finding your soup in a dead fly

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Whats the difference between a falcon and a deer? both live in water, except for the falcon... oh, and the deer.

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Why did I have sex with your mom? Because she was a beautiful individual with a fine taste in the classical arts. She also offered me a ride to her place for a delicious 3 course meal. Afterwards our romance blossomed and we decided to have sexual intercourse to show our mutual appreciation for each other.

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What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

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A guy walks in to a bar, waving a gun around. He acidentally shoots himself in the foot He died from the bloodloss.

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What's a stupid joke on anti-joke? One that involves a random number with absolutely no meaning

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Josh brown loves Jessica Potts from Dylan xoxo

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one day a white guy was in detroit. it was very strange. nothing happened

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Whats funny about a guy with no legs? I bought him a wheelchair.

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I mustache you a question. But I'll shave it for later.

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A man walks in front of a bus. The bus driver avoids the man but hits the boy eating ice cream.

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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what do you call a brown man that has been repeatedly shanked and has been fucked up the arse by 10 Rag heads in one night and thrown in a well to slowly and painfully die? Lloyd.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes. A mutilated dear.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

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What's black, white, and red all over? A painting with black, white and red paint.

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Two guys walk into a bar. This is really exciting as they haven't seen each other for two years and are looking forward to catching up.

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You mom is so fat she appeals to my secret fetish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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