Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

OY SHIT ITS YOUR MOM!!!

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

Perverted man: Nice bum where u from Hot ladie with the nice bum: Boston Mass so kiss my ASS

how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

There was a goat and it was eating McDonalds, I just farted and my nuts are itchy.

What do you call a person with disabilities? Names.

A man went back in time and warned nobody about anything and pretended to be from the time he choose to go to and lived a happy life eventually finding a wife. He later found out he had a baby on the way, he named it after his great grandfather who was a war hero. He later found out that many years later his son had a son and they named it after his grandpa. He went to the hospital where he died just as his grandson had a baby and they named it after his father. The man died. End.

Out of Jill, Jason, Jesse, Jane and Harold, which one is the odd one out? Jason, because he only has one arm.

Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

A man walks in to a bar and says "ouch."

Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

What's worse than an asian driver? A blindfolded asian driver.

knock knock who's there? rude, interrupting cow rude, interrupting cow who? just kidding, its steve. cows can't talk

When life gives you lemons you get sugar and water and make some good lemonaide.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

Whats the difference imbetween a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer an the other is a watermelon

A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

Person 1: So now that were friends on facebook, you wanna hang out? Person 2: No I'd rather not.

What did the overweight blind kid get for Christmas? His parents died in a tragic car crash and he was left alone, fat and blind to fend for himself

How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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