The kid next door was running around shouting spells and carrying a wand. ''I bet you'd love to be like Harry Potter!'' I told him. ''Yes!'' he exclaimed. So I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Don't you hate it when your reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles.

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- what do u call a dead black person a problem - what do u call a lot of dead black people a big problem - what do you call a mass killing of all black people. genocide

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Carrots! ... well if they were invisible..

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Why did the child with terminal cancer and leprosy get sent to the principal's office? Because his parents and brother died in a car accident, and the principal though he should be informed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't because it got hit by a car.

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Mickey Mouse peed on a house. Just kidding. Micky Mouse isn't real.

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

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Why is my phone bill so low this month? Because you have no friends.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Not your cheese.

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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What did the muffin say to the other muffin? "Hello, nice to meet you."

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THIS IS NOT SPARTA! *pulls him out of the hole*

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a mexican, a asian and a black guy are in a car whos driving? your mom

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Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

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Some dude and his son are driving to school. They get into a car accident so the have to go the the hospital. But when the doctor comes in, the doctor says "I can't oporate on this boy! He's my son!" Who's the doctor? His Mom.

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Three males walked into a bar. one of them was a kangaroo.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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One day I walked into my backyard I saw a squirrel Then I was like oh hey squirrel

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When life gives you lemons, you go to a therapist and seek help because your dementia has progressed to the point that you are seeing and feeling illusions.

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1. Whats the difference between an orange? 2. Finish your sentence asshole.

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Q: Whats the difference between a Jew and a Boy-scout A: Boy-scouts come back from camp

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what do you get when a white woman and black man have a child? either a girl or a boy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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