Three tomatoes are walking down the street... No wait, they're in my salad.

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How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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There are two muffins in an oven. One says nothing. Muffins can't talk.

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Whats worst than getting bombed by the russians? The holocaust!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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A black guy, a Mexican guy and a Jew walk into a hospital. They are all undergoing the same chemotherapy treatment.

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What happened to the man that jump out of the airplane with no parachute? He landed on a baby and both died almost instantly. The authorities were called and they took care of the situation flawlessly.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Dead babies can't paint.

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why didnt Tim Tebow go to church? He had practice half an hour before the service was scheduled to start, and to do both was impossible and missing practice would have resulted in disciplinary action from both his coaches and his teammates.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? One, unless she's too short, in which case she may get someone else to do it for her.

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Why did the little boy fall down the stairs? I pushed 'em.

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Beans, beans good for the heart, the more you eat the more likely you are to grow into a healthy young man/woman with low risk of heart disease.

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How is a raven like a writing desk? It isn't.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? a dead baby in a clown costume!!!

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Don't you hate it when ads just [CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS!* Please click this ad, so you can give us your full name, address, phone number, bank account number, pin number and mail your credit card to us, then you will receive your MILLION DOLLARS!* (you may or may not receive one million dollars) Thank you.] pop up anywhere these days?

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What's funnier than the holocaust? Nothing.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I don't care! What are you doing in my house?

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What did the white person say to the black person? Nothing because he was black

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"The Civil War wasn't won in a day, it was won in a lifetime." -Marc Cruz

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Your landlord, clear out your stuff by tuesday"

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Your mom's so fat, she's is bigger than the average person.

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I used to be an Adventurer like you, but then i took and arrow to the Elbow.

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roses are red voilets are blue my dog stinks and so do you!

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Fun Fact: If humans stood in a single file line around the equator, most of them would drown.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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