What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No Neither have I

What is in the center of our galaxy? Some stars, space, and nebula.

A duck walks into a pharmacy and says to the man behind the counter, "Do you have any ointment? my beak is very chapped" the man replies "we have nothing for ducks here."

what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

What is translucent and smells like a carrot ? A translucent carrot.

Knock Knock. Who'se there? It's Dave. Dave who? Um, you invited me over here. Open the damn door.

Why wasn't the rabbit elgible to vote? Because rabbits aren't human beings, and only humans are allowed to vote.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his soon to be butchered family.

You know what they say about guys with really big feet? They own big shoes.

Whats the best way to get a woman to sleep with you? Rape her

How did the baby cross the road? The baby got stapled to a chicken

If a white person and black person have a baby, what colour is the baby? Grey

what's worse than getting beaten by police? Getting beaten by Russian police

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

Why did the kid have a toy truck? because he bought it

I have a phone, Don't know where it's at, Forever Alone FAPFAPFAP

A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the chicken fall off the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

i feel like i will die some heroic death, but its more likely i will trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.

FIRE!!

What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

Want to hear a joke? I hope not because I don't know any.

I recently found out I have aids just kiddin heres the real joke... I recenly found out that Philidelphia means "City of Brotherly Love" and I said so do people in philly say its always free hug day in Phillipd fun house in philly?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...