What did Ben's Graandma get him for Christmas? Nothing, she died on Thanksgiving!

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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Why did the black guy hit his head while walking through a doorway? Because he was tall.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

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JESSSSIICCCCCAAAAAA!

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Why didn't the man stop at the stop sign? He was violently killed turning at the last intersection

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy but get in the van

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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What did the fat girl use on Wii Fit? Cheat Codes.

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so there i must be a pig

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What do you do when you see someone from the kkk? Accept what you saw and move on with your day

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How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? You don't, the giraffe is a savanah animals and there is no physical way for a giraffe to fit in a refridgerator.

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Six hats walk out of a garden. When mustard offal fruit paps.

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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terry stockton is straight

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Hi.

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Wats rong with yo leg.....

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Kevin was very nervous going into his job interview. So he pretended he was a salad and ate himself.

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

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What happened when the boy didn't forward the chain message to ten people. Nothing.

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What do you call cheese that's mine? My cheese

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it looks like you landed on your face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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