roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill your neighbor. Can I have some flour?

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wanna hear a joke? woman's rights.

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Who wants water? I do.

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a blind guy walks past a fish market and exlaims.. "it smells like a fish market"

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So a duck walks into a drugstore and asks the clerk for lip balm. The clerk asks, "How will you be paying for that?" to which the duck replies, "Cash."

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Why is my son hungry? Because he didn't eat lunch.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. The stewardess calls secret service and has the man arrested.

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0123456789

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Whats pink and screaming? a skinned baby in a bucket of vinegar+

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a red corvette? i don't have a red corvette in my garage

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If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

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A man sits down to dinner with his wife And she notifies him that their 8 year old son just died

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My girlfriend wanted to talk about her feelings ... SO I TOLD THAT BITCH THAT... i really loved her and care about her feelings

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The speeding car skidded on the rain-slicked roadway. Beyond the outside of the curve was a 100 meter drop-off. As the car slid toward the edge of the road, the driver and passenger both had a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach and wished they hadn't ordered vinegar milkshakes, the special of the day at Pickle Shack. Or it could have been the toadstools, but it didn't matter now.

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Justin Bieber saying "shawty"

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How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it.

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Roses are Verbotten Violets are Verbotten Anti-jokes is Verbotten Everything is Verbotten boats aren't Verbotten

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A Muslim, a Jew, and a Christian find a magical lamp with a genie inside. He offers each of them one wish. The Muslim wishes that people didn't look at his people as terrorists. The Jew wishes that the Holocaust never happened, and the Christian wishes for world peace. Actually this didn't happen, Genies don't exist.

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Why did the Jewish man kill his wife? Who cares.

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A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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What happen when the man preposed to his girlfriend? He regretted for the rest or his life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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