22

thumb_up thumb_down +20

one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only A n a l because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did priences Dian cross the street? Cause she wasn't wearing a seatbelt!!

thumb_up thumb_down

what is red white and blue? the french flag

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Four surgeons are taking a coffee break: 1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." 2nd surgeon says "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order." 3rd surgeon says "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is color coded." 4th surgeon says "I prefer Chelsea fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and asses are interchangeable."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How did the priest die? Masterbation

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What can bankrupt people buy? Free stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What's up? A: Definitely not a plane, due to an unfortunate hijacking and terror bombing shortly after departure. There were no survivors.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's black and has ne education? A tire.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you fall off a building... JUMP.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad event that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

thumb_up thumb_down +116

Why is the fat kid on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down +5

An eleven year old boy walks into a bar... he is searching for his father, who has a known alchol problem, and has been missing for five days.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

If you place a dog next to a cow, they're not the same size

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many penguins does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Penguins cannot screw in lightbulbs because they have wings instead of fingers or opposable thumbs, as humans do.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There once was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many children, her vagina fell off.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Finn Davidson is cool, no he's not, yes he is

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? To go hang himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +6,316

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

An Irishman walked out of a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I'm a fork. Fork you!!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

does this look unsure to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops