Wanna hear a dirty joke? A pig rolls in the mud.

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meme

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What do you call a black man without a job? Unemployed.

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There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

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2 guys walk into a bar. You'd hink one of them should have seen it. After all, it is a large building.

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What is brown and has 15 legs? (They answer "What?") Reply: I don't know I was hoping you would.

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Why didn't the poor man buy a candy bar? He wasn't hungry.

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What do you call something round and red that tastes like a tomato and shoots through walls? A Super Tomato. And what do you call a banana that shoots through walls? A banana trying to be a Super Tomato.

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Guest what in the butt

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Dear Sarah, My name is Jesse, and I am severely overweight. BOUNCE ON MY DICK LIKE TYGA BITCH, Your lover, Jesse.

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what does lady gaga and a vacuum have in common? nothing. lady gaga is a human and the other is a house hold item.

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What'd the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish, remember?

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matt is fat

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Q: Why couldn' the muslim eat pork? A: Because he had been raped and killed by a giant scorpion.

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Why did the black man walk across the road? just kidding he didnt make it across the road i hit him with my car

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Knock Knock. Who´s there? Tsu Tsu who? TSUNAMI!!!!!!!

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper doesn't respond because he is a grasshopper and therefore can't talk.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on its sex. Females weigh 150-250kg, and males weigh upwards of 350kg.

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old man: hi old woman: i have alshemiers old man: hi old woman: i have alshemiers

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How did the deaf girl die? I beeped but she didnt hear me

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I have a joke that involves a duck. Can you guess what it is? If not, then.......uh...........sorry.

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Hey I just met you, and this is Crazy, but I think I Love You, so have my baby! ;)

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How do you pacify Hitler? Give him jews.

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my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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