What's worse than seeing your grandfather dead on the floor? Seeing your grandmother standing over him with a knife

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Roses are red. Violets are blue... Hold on. Roses could be white too.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Sally." "Go away, Sally. I told you I am not interested." Kevin slammed the door on his colleague, as Sally proceeded to find somebody else and move on with her life. Kevin later in life became a drug addict, and got thrown in jail. Sally got married and had four kids, and while she feels bad for Kevin, she is happy with her life.

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What happened after the man walked off the cliff? Nothing. It was a foot tall.

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What's big? Jupiter.

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Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

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why do leprecon's laugh when they run through the grass? because it tickel's their balls

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What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

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How come Hellen keller is blind and deaf? Cause she is a women.

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So I went to my grandmothers house at 7 and left at 8.

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I read my Uncle an anti-joke. He is still wondering why it made no sense to him.

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White men's rights

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What did the boy with no legs get? A treadmill.

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Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb Mary had a little lamb and the doctor was surprised

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

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What does a Jew do when he sees a masked man at his door? He grabs a phone to alert the police and hides in his bedroom.

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

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What do you call a blind, crippled, child? Unlucky.

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An Indian, American and French man walk into the bar simultaneously. Unfortunately, they get stuck in the door.

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Jim: Knock, knock? Tom: Who's there? Jim: You're. Tom: You're who? Jim: You're a retard. ............................ Tom: You're mean, like a hobbit...

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A man walks around a bar.

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Why couldn't the blonde have kids? She had Ovarian Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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