What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

What is a homeless man for Halloween? A garbage bag

A straight A star quarterback in his senior year of high school was about to throw the game winning pass in his season's last game and complete the school's undefeated record when he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

http://i.imgur.com/BJsbT.jpg

Why didn't peyton manning's grand mom call him after his game? She died of throat cancer 5 years ago

Johan showering. . . AWK

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the dog cross the road? To eat the chicken. Why did the police officer cross the road? To tranquilize the dog and the chicken.

Whats white and cant jump? A refridgerator.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

Your mama is so fat, we are all seriously concerned about her health.

You are the third derivative of the position function.

What's brown and sticky A stick

Why did the man destroy his piano? He may have been frustrated with himself for making mistakes during practice.

What did the computer say to the mouse? Nothing inanimate objects cant talk

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Anti jokes gives me cold sores

What's the difference between a woman with an IQ of 160, and a man who is mentally challenged? Although being a much easier potential victim, no one has raped the mentally challenged man.. yet.

what purple and jolly barney who doesnt love his charactorial warmth!# not weird

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, your dad having sex with your girlfriend

why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

Want to hear a joke? No.

Bill and John are talking about types of cheese. The conversation drags on a bit and slowly changes topic. Bill says "I bet you I can bungy jump off a bridge". John chuckles before replying "I bet you can't". They go and find a bridge and Bill puts on his harness and ties himself to the side of the bridge. He throws himself off the edge and falls through the air screaming at the top of his voice. John cuts the bungy cord and Bill dies.

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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