Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench A: The NBA

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How do you get a pirate out of your seat? Politely ask him to move for you were there first.

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Without geometry life would be pointless

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Why did I miss my bus? Because my watch was wrong.

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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What did Yoda say to Darth Vader? The only time the two had talked Darth Vader was still Anakin therefor, he said nothing.

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What's the difference between a bucket of shit and a black guy? -the bucket.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer..... I'm going to rip the scalp off of your son and where it on my face to a Cherokee Sacrificial Ceremony The other lawyer was actually a lightbulb

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What did the chicken say to the black guy? Nothing, humans and chickens can not communicate.

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Umm Q Umm 69 Best one ever

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How did the blond's brain cells die? She had a very acute case of Parkinson's disease.

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Why couldn't the girl talk... she chocked to death -Alan Davis

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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What did the blonde say to the man when he asked her what time it was? 6:34 pm

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Dad what does negligence mean? SHUT THE FUCK UP KID! I TOLD YOU TO NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN!

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Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

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Q: What did the serail rapist say to his best friend? A: You're a good friend

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A man walks up to a gay guy and says "you are socially accepted"

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A man went back in time and warned nobody about anything and pretended to be from the time he choose to go to and lived a happy life eventually finding a wife. He later found out he had a baby on the way, he named it after his great grandfather who was a war hero. He later found out that many years later his son had a son and they named it after his grandpa. He went to the hospital where he died just as his grandson had a baby and they named it after his father. The man died. End.

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Statistics show That people with the most birthdays Live the longest

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Q. What does a blonde and beer bottles have in common? A. Nothing. Blonde is a hair color and beer bottles are inanimate objects used to contain various brands of beer.

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A black guy walks into a bar. He falls unconscious and an ambulance is quickly called to bring him to the hospital.

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A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He has no legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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