What's brown, dusty, and full of male? My asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

The past the present and the future walk into a bar it made no logical sense that three things that will always contradict each other exist with each other and can walk into a bar without limbs or being alive it wasn't tense it made no sense

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did dick Cheney say to his friend that he accidentally shot in the face while quail hunting? Sorry for shooting you in the face

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you call a moose with a 42 gauge shotgun pellet through its head? Open Season

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What goes up and down, up and down, up and down, forever? An insult to Newtonian physics.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What did the little jewish boy get for his birthday in 1940? A: The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a black guy in a prison? A warden. You racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is red? A rock painted red

thumb_up thumb_down -20

roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: How do you make a clown stop laughing? A: Hit it in the face with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q:Why couldn't little Bobby read the bible? A: His parents weren't into religion and he was blind

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what does a black car sound like when it starts? RUN-NIGGA-NIGGA-NIGGA-NIGGA -GRANT PARK ALL THE WAY

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call two gay black men in one sleeping bag? There names

thumb_up thumb_down -8

The funniest tragedy in his young life...wasn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldn't Maria play Softball? She was born without legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What's the difference between your cat and mine? Yours has legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense Microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +259

Fenestrade De Riguerto sat aloft his might horse Bentereuse and called for his brigadiers. At home his wife was opening a package. 2 minutes later a sound could be heard reverberating across the countryside. It was the invasion fleet from Denarus V wiping out humanity

thumb_up thumb_down +5

if you have a name/nickname/brand/version or number, please like this anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down -30

what did the fart say to the butt........bye

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's long hard and black A drain pipe

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops