A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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What's worse than seeing a real joke on this website? Having diarrhea.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Bus....

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Wal-mart didn't have the product I wanted. So I yelled at the manager until they had it. It didn't work and i was taken to jail.

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knock knock whos there? your mom really? well whats she wearing a refridgerator.

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Why did the boy fall off the zipline? He had no arms.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am colorblind I hate my life

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A christian, a Muslim, and a Jew walked into a bar... Then the Muslim shoots the Jew and blows himself up.

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What did the priest tell his son? Nothing, priests can't have children.

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There was a lil girl in a red hoody skipping to her grandma's house. When she got there she noticed her grandma wasn't home. The lil girl panics and see's a wolf. She hesitates and asks the wolf "Have you seen my grandma" The wolf replies with a yes, shes in the backyard planting flowers.

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What do you call a fish without an eye? Impaired of vision.

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Have you seen stevie wonders new house No Niether has he

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Men's rights

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what sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potato peeler

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What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

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Thomas Hobbes had a happy life. Actually he didnt, he was born prematurely causing his mother to die. Then his dad left him at an early age to the care of an abusive older brother because he was an alcohollic. He did inspire many political beliefs though

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What's worse then biting into your apple and finding a worm? Biting into your apple and finding two worms.

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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Why did the blonde kid lose the spelling bee? Because she misspelled a word.

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why did the koala fall out of the tree? because it was dead

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What is the difference between a shark and a human? A shark is a type of fish with a full cartilaginous skeleton and a highly streamlined body and a human is the only living species in the Homo genus.

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What do you get if you give a black man more than 5 watermelons? Jeff the Killer.

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What does a tomato and a human have in common? They both spray red liquid when stabbed repeatedly

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What did the sushi say to the bee? Nothing, a piece of sushi can't talk and a bee wouldn't listen, stupid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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