Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? -Who's there? Not the girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

whats the differnce between a baby and a dart board? dart boards dont bleed.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A blonde walks into a bar. That's it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning. This is also known as sunburn.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How many prostitutes do I have to kill in order to get an erection? Three.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

why was the little girl afraid of the dark because she was brutally raped in the dark when she was 4.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How did the mexican get into the United States of America? Legally.

thumb_up thumb_down +841

Why did the old man order the little girl into the car? Because he was her grandfather.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the grandma stop baking cookies? Because she is an aging widow suffering from depression because her family seems to forget her existance as she barely lives day by day wilting in her 1 bedroom home.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the guy with alzheimer's say to his wife? He can't remember.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How did the blind man cross the road? With the use of a cane and a registered seeing eye dog

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dumpster full of dead babies? There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

You know what is worse than being dead...being at a Justin Bieber concert

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the little girl cry? Her mom died

thumb_up thumb_down

One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A miracle

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I'm a champion. I do what I want.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Who enforces the law strongly and forces people to obey them? Terrorists that have seized control of a town.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

what did the man say to the other man when he saw a dinosaur look.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the women get after valentines day? An abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops