Your mom is so fat that when she dives into a pool she displaces a proportionately larger volume of water than people with less body mass.

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

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Ashton Kutcher meets a fine cougar at a bar and the cougar fatally wounded his throat.

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What's the difference between a cow and a Spanish person? To get to the other side

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Why did the old man die? He died because he saw the light wich happened to be a street light in the distance.

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Where did the two Jews ride when they got married? In the back of the oven.

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? There was no cross walk.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see.

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What did the African boy get for his Christmas present for the first time? Leprosy

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How was the fifty-four year old counselor in nineteen places at once? He was blasted by a cannonball.

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What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

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What's worse than having but sex and finding out you have aids? Knowing that the person you had sex with was dead

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What are the black specks in birdshit called? That's birdshit too.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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Roses are red Roses are also white and Violets are Violet not blue. Also I'm a realist and your grandmother is going to die soon

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A three and a half foot tall clown walks into a bar, it is quickly learned that he is only 8 years old and is excorted out by security.

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What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

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Your Mamma is so poor that she begs for money.

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Why was the blonde staring at the orange juice container? Because she was proud of her work as Chief Marketing Director of Tropicana.

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Whats worse that a rhino hitting you in the face? A rhino with horns hitting you in the face

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What a russian says to another russian? I don't know, but it must be somthing in russian.

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Why does Mike Tyson always win his fights? Because he hides in a refridgerator

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What's the difference between Skittles and black people? ...I like Skittles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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