Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? Because they were part of his uniform.

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What has two arms, and two legs but cant walk? A Cripple

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman

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Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

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Would anyone like to contribute to my slush fund?

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What's brown and sticky? Molasses.

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What sounds really bad? An accordion.

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How did the Jew survive the holocaust? He didn't, he died.

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why did the girl fall down someone threw four monkeys and a refrigerator at her

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-Knock knock. -Who's there? -Doctor. -Docter who? -Yes...

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Why couldn't Ariel talk in the Little Mermaid? Someone slit her throat.

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What is worse than Shaq's free throw percentage? The free throw percentages of Reggie Evans, Bo Outlaw, Andris Biedrins, Wilt Chamberlain, Chris Dudley and Ben Wallace.

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A man walked into a room and said to his friend, "I am about to show you something amazing." He claps twice and the lights turn on. He is using a device called The Clapper made by Joseph Enterprises, Inc. using advanced technology that was patented in 1985.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A tragic accident waiting to happen.

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A Man Walks into a Bar with a Dog. He is blind, and is promptly guided to his seat by other patrons.

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Smelly Indians.

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A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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Joe Paterno dosn't walk into a police station.-South Park

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why are chickens dying so fast? because black people are hungry.

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Chuck Norris screams in pain.

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What's worse than being forced to drink your own urine and eat a disabled kids poop? James Holmes (Ironic that the text I had to type in to post this was "I'M BATMAN".)

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Why did the black man almost go to jail? He rolled a 6 in monopoly, if it was a 7, he would've been sent straight to jail without passing "go"

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There is a law in california that says that women are not allowed to drive with house coats.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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