Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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Do you know what my favorite rhetorical question is?

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Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

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A blonde goes to school, and completes a difficult math problem.

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Imagine Buzz Lightyear standing on the edge of a cliff. He jumps off hoping to fly. He manages to glide for a little bit until a bird crashes into him a cause one of his wings to break. What happens then? Simply imagine him turning into bird.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. I don't know what happens next, I got the fuck out of there before shit went down

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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There are two fish in a tank. They both die, tanks are used for warfare.

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A white guy, a black guy, and a spanish guy jump off a building. They all die on impact and their families mourn their loss for years to come.

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs? I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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How do you confuse a blonde? Say eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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ive got a joke for you Nicki minajs ase

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Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

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What did little Jimmy say when he met God ? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

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Bob fell off his roof.

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

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Billy was curious if gasoline burns, so he decided to...... .... O crap I'm late for Billy's funeral.

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What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

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A chicken crossed the road.

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A bar walks into a man

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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