Last christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, you're body rejected the transplant and you died.

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Why did the father not text back? He died in a car crash

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because once it had inadvertently escaped the farm it was being kept on it was startled and with no concept of road and pavement happened to traverse a road, with no real motive.

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If through some strange space-time paradox, Chuck Norris ever had to fight himself, Chuck Norris would-- What am I saying, that would never happen!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

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what did the comedian tell the audience? a joke.

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Yo Mama so stupid she thought "Dunkin Doughnuts" was a basketball team.

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So there's a black man riding a bike down the street. A police officer pulls him over to tell him that his back tire seems to be flat. The black man says thank you, and continued riding his bike. Later, he would repair his tire.

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how much could a wood-chuck chuck if a wood-chuck could chuck wood? it doesnt matter because they can not chuck wood

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What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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Q: What was the proctologist doing on the street? A: He was observing the assfault.

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Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

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Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a kangaroo? A hybrid combination of the two that is characterized by specific traits of both animals.

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How do you tell the difference between Lila and derrek ashmore? Oh wait they both have vaginas

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

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Whats the difference between a car and a dead child? I don't have a dead baby in my basement.

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How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? none, you can't see them in the dark. Vincent

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Knock knock Whose there? you you who you know who you are

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Q: What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: Nothing, they never met! :)

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.It is a very simple task for somebody who knows what to do.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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What do Gary Glitter and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both successful pop stars

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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