if life gives you lemonnde your probally halusinating

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A bad decision because soccer is in their blood

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Guess what else smells like tuna!?! A dead tuna fish in a can

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Q. Whats black and red all over? A. A black wall thats been painted red.

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Why does girls have two left feet and two left hands? Because girls have no rights.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, and have a stimulating discussion about economics

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How many black people does it take to complete the simplest task such as washing their own hair? A shitload! thats why slavery was so populer back in the day. (and gays were big then to because they had to shower together to remember to wash their hair.)

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Whats the difference between a truck full of babies and a truck full of bowling balls? You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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Q.What do you call a black man flying a plane? A. A black pilot you racist bastard

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whats funnier than womens rights? ottos weight

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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What's the difference between me and a ghost? Ghosts aren't Dolphins!

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Dos Equis took down chuck Norris

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whats worse than biting your apple and finding a worm? WWII.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? It didn't. Anyone who would believe that is a complete moron.

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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When Life gives you lemons... Squeeze the juice right back into Life's eyes!

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Why did samantha die? Because she had cancer.

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Yo momma's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror she decided to get plastic surgery.

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Why did Jack and Jill fall down the hill? Because they were donuts

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Rejected Disney titles: - 1,000,000,001 Dalmatians: The Need of Neutering - Beauty and the Bricks - Zambi: the Walking Deer - The Iron King 2: Simba's Ferride - The Little Mormon - Cinderella 4: The Fairy Godfather and his Mafia - Tarzipan of the Choco-Apes - Brother Boar - Home on Deranged - The Emperor's New Sith Apprentice - Mickey and the Mousetrap - Lilo and B**ch

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Illumati Confirmed

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face. The horse replies, neigh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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