What did Tiger Woods say when his wife hit him with a golf club? "Why did you hit me with a golf club".

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How did Goku save his home planet? He didn't.

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How much coke can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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how many black guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? who cares even if they could screw it in it wouldnt work because there to poor to aford electricity

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Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England? A: She found out Big Ben was only a clock

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John has 58 candy bars. He eats 40, what does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

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What is red and does not cry? Half a baby.

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Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

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Why was the man in the kitchen? Because his wife was raped and killed.

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I hate it when I try to put my gun on safety but I accidentally shoot u a school full of kid.

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What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

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Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

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Why doesnt Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesnt float.

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A French man, Irish man and Japanese man walk into a bar, seeing as the men speak different languages no conversation begins.

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No, I don't have ADH...- Oh look, a butterfly!!

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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Me: How can you tell if somebody's a Nazi? Friend: How? Me: Their killing people in a ghetto. Friend: My friend was shot in a ghetto. Me: So, does that make him a Jew? Friend: No, he was just killed in a big ass oven.

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Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

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three men get stranded on a island and cannibals find them and they say go find 3 fruits and come back. first guy comes back with three apples and they say we will shuve them in your rectum and if you scream we will kill you he screams he dies. second guy comes back with grapes and he laughs before they can start. and in heaven the first guy says why did you laugh and he says there voices are funny.

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wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

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Meow.

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What's worse than the front page of anti-joke.com? The 4945th page of anti-joke.com, as those jokes have been rated poorly by other users.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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