A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man said to the bartender "I'll have a H2O, please." His friend said "Yeah, I'll have a H2O too." The bartended wasn't an idiot and was aware that he was in a bar, not a science lab, and handed them both a bottle of H2O. His friend still died.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

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Your mother is so fat that she will die relatively early because of poor health.

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How do you get blood from a stone? Put it in a snowball.

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...Jack Vale

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this going to be my new text thingy! i dont have a phone! WATS UP!

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Why does the Easter Bunny deliver chocolate eggs? Because

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whats the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? i dont have a ferrari in my garage

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Lockerbie bombing

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where do you find a dog with no brain? in its grave.

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Why did the man smile at his wife? Because she had a silly looking face, like a fish.

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Why did the Sara fall off the swing, Because she had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there not sara.

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Why was the black man wet? He was sprayed by a hose.

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blubber vaginass CC

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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Why are black people good at basketball? Because they train hard and practice daily.

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face" the horse says "my son was just diagnosed with multiple sclerosis"

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What do you call a black person playing basketball? An athlete

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What is 33 + 1? Penis

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a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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Q-What happened to the kid who thought he could fly A-his head exploded while he was sitting in a microwave

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Skeletons can't move.

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Once upon a time a girl took a gun and shot herself in the face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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