Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 magnum and murdered her violently.

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Why am I sad right now? Because I just Sh*t my pants.

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how many poeple does it take to change a light bulb? you spelled people wrong.

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What do Micheal Jackson and Niel Armstrong have in common? Armstrong did the earthwalk on the moon and Jackson F#$%ed little boys in the butt.

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Why couldn't John ride a bicycle? Because he is a fish.

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Anti-Joke.com Best thing since something better that preceded it.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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Joke

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Everyone text/call Mrs. Butt Hemingworth for a free pint of her delicious marmalade! Serious inquirers only. 832 704 1331

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Joseph Fritzl.

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Three Kids dressed as a bear, a chicken, and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender asks the to leave as they are all under the legal drinking age.

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What do you do when you come across a tiger in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologize.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I shit my pants do you want my poo.

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*ahem* what? what. oh I thought you said something

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What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

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What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

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Kim Jong Un thinks that he is in shape. And when you think about it, he's right. Round is a shape.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

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there was a blonde and abrunette and they both jumped off a bridge . who hit the bottom first? the brunette beacuase when the blonde was halfway down she had to walk back up and ask for directions

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what do you call a dead arab? a suicide bomber

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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i keep getting thumbs down...

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What's the difference between a Ginger and a Brick? A ginger is a living organism.

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Why did the drug dealer get arrested? Cause he was black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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