Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Half the holocaust

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Why do I staple a mans mouth to his penis. Because I wanted to

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Why did the black guy smell fried chicken? He had a brain tumour

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Your mother's breasts sag so low that the late great impressionist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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Q: Why does the chicken cross the road? A: To get hit by a redneck.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a whale sit down at a bar. The priest says to the bartender, "Jesus Christ is our savior." The rabbi responds, "No. Our savior has not yet been born." To which the whale adds, "MMMUUURRRAAAAAAOOOUUU!!!"

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Today I looked at a clock and realized that I was late.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a room? A: Depends on how hard you can throw.

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I once had a friend We had our arguments, and went our separate ways.

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Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

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I hate it when sentences don't end the way you expect them potato.

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Superman vs Batman real fight: Batman: Hmm I believe that Superman might want to fight m*squish* Batman explodes in a bunch of meat as a blue and red blur is seen fly by. Extended Edition: Batman: Hah Superman I got kryptonite gloves so if you would just stand close to them for about five minute...*squish* Batsack of meat left we see nothing because Superman is FASTER THAN A SPEEDING BULLET. They are probably gonna go like every fucking crossover, first they squabble and throw a few punches for five minutes, then they realize that the LAX LADDER LEX LUGER AND LEX LUTHOR brothers made up some fake story so sups and bts kill each other while they blow up the world, so Btz, and Soup end up beating them up... Moral: "PFF! BATMAN HAS BEATEN UP SUPERMAN AND THE HULK IN THOUSANDS OF SHlTTY NON CANON STORIES!" (In where the one with the Hulk described the hulk to have the instincts and combat skills of a "dumb, animal like confused ape" yes actual quote, Batman punched this confused green ape across a door and kept beating "The Hulk" up as he ran around in "animalistic fear and "rage" receiving random kicks by Batman, then Btz throws some capsule that turns into a fishbowl with no oxygen that chokes The Hulk (supposedly to death) in a few seconds... The Hulk can like hold his breath for YEARS in space, (but you know these lethal fishbowls)

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How is a white orphan like a black baby? Neither are sure who their parents are :(

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 had 3 testicles

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What is brown and sticky?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows, he was hit by a car.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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Why did the boy get hit by a car? Because he didn't look both ways

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

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What do you call a bitchy unreliable friend? You don't call that bitch at all.

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A Mexican, a Jew, and a Colored guy walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says: "What can I get you gentlemen today?"

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What's worse than being a Packer Fan? Walking around with cheese on your hea... oh, wait....

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he has no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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