Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme but this one doesn't

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what's faster than a jet? a speeding bullet. what's faster than a speeding bullet? light.

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Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber? Lady Gaga has a penis.

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If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? Quite obviously, still quizzical, being that tests are just longer, harder quizzes.

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go F*** yourself

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What do you get when you combine a potato and an apple? A nice Apple Potato Souffle...

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Whats worse than seeing your family killed in front of your eyes? Not much to be honest

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Why didn't the blonde eat bacon? She was Jewish, and it was against her religion.

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A tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it... Fall on top of a woman and crush her to death

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hi my name is 50 cent my mom swallowd 2 quarters befor i was born dsthgiudghyudgfuawyg

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on how much you compress them.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Why didn't Sally get back up? She had no legs Guess who's getting prosthetic legs for Christmas! Not Sally.

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Why did 'Mister Love' get arrested? Clue: One of the most ironic things ever You can guess

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Why couldn't Jimmy go bowling with the rest of his friends? His parents shot him.

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What do two siblings have in common? They both want the other to get hit by a bus.

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Why was 2 afraid of three Because it bigger

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Q. How many people use MySpace? A. Pfft who uses MySpace

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- what do u call a dead black person a problem - what do u call a lot of dead black people a big problem - what do you call a mass killing of all black people. genocide

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A guy walks into a toilet store and there are 3 left 1is silver 1 is wood and 1 talks he took the one that talks. the next day he is shitting and he hears the toilet "do you see what i see

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What did one jew say to the other? Hello.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the KFC man was chasing him.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What happened to the man who dropped his soap? Nothing he picked it up and lived a happy life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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