Why did the fall off the building? ... because I pushed her

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you get when you cross a Poodle with a cupcake? Stop looking at these anti-jokes and get back to work.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

So this beautiful woman goes to see her doctor and says "Doctor i think i have a fever." the doctor replies "I think I've got just what you need. open your mouth." The woman opened her mouth and the doctor gave her some Advil "This should help your fever. that will be $300." in shock the woman said "these prices are to high."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

SUBway eat fresh ZOMbies eat fleash

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face" The horse responds "My daughter has cancer"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats worse then world war 3 world war 4

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: How many Jews can you fit in a 4-seater car? A: 4

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Hitler cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways. Only after practicing proper safety procedure did he venture across the busy thoroughfare to retrieve his asthma medication from his car.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

how now brown cow. WTF.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's blue and says "Good morning" A blue sign that says good morning

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How Do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door take the elephant out put the giraffe in and close the door. The lion king has a meeting with all the animals but one doesn't turn up, which one is it? The giraffe because it's still in the fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you make a girl happy then sad within 5 seconds? Buy her a pony and then shoot it

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why does the cow eat grass? A: Because it's green. (Cows are colorblind)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Hit me and kick me were on a log. Hit me fell off, swan to shore, and went home.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Boy: Hey girl if I had hand-cuffs, I’d lock myself to you right now! Girl: I would find that extremely creepy.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the chicken cross the road? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I lied, it was a goat.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Adele walks into a bar. The barman says she's too ugly hahahahahahahahahahhahahahha lololololololololololololol

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Knock knock Who's there? Derek the crazy man in the village and I have come to shoot you.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, technically speaking, chickens lack the capability to cross said road because chances are that it was a highway because highways cover 64% of america's roads. This being said, the possibility of a chicken being able to cross is is highly improbable. So to answer the question.... BACON!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats the hardest thing to have sex with? a goldfish.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the man say to the man with no head? You have no head

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I went to the bookstore to buy me a Where's Waldo book. I looked through the store and couldn't find it anywhere.... Well played waldo, well played.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops