What's black and white and red all over? A nazi flag

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

Enters password. Sorry your password must contain the entire alphabet, your left foot, a theme song to a television show, and the blood of your enemies. Enters password. Password Strength: Weak

Why did the Mexican guy run to the hospital? Because it was faster than walking.

your on a bus and you ask your math teacher if you got the answers on the homework right and the bus crashes in the middle of an intersection.

What's worse than having a worm in your apple? 2012.

If 2 trains are going 60 mph, their going in opposite directions towards each other, they are slowing down 1 mile per hour per 10 miles and they are 100 miles away, would you rather have Coke or Pepsi?

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

Why was Newton surprised when the apple fell on his head? Because he was sitting under a pear tree.

What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

Why did the woman fall off the skateboard? She hit a rock.

wat?

Snarf Nuggets

What do you call a horse, a cow, a pig, a sheep, a dog, a cat, and a mouse all walking in a straight line? Animals

Much to my surprise, the Hoover Dam was not built by beavers.

whats better than 7 babies in one trash can 1 baby in 7 trash cans

Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing finding a worm in an apple is disgusting because worms are disgusting creature that shouldn't live in an apple

How do you mess with Helen Keller? Move all the furniture in her room.

whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

Why wasn't the boy at his basketball game? - Because he, his twin brother, and pregnant mother all died in a fatal car accident involving a train on the way their.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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