If you die, and have 5 cents in your pocket, does the toast still land jelly side down?

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a jewish duck trips over a series of metal corckswcrews and proceeds to die of ADHD the answer is 4

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What's the same about eggnog and a computer? You can search the web. Except that's only true for one of them.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. No, the Holocaust never happened, you're an idiot.

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-What do you call a pyromaniac on a golf course? *** I backed over your cat. -A FIREHAZ- wait what?

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What did one dolphin say to the other after watching a banana dance with an afro. My pancreas was replaced with a mango.

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Random Guy: "Oh god, why was I born with so much common sense?" God: "You must be mistaken, or else you wouldn't be asking me."

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what do you call a fish with no eyes fsh

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Trashcan!

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What do you call a three toed 9 foot man. His name.

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not sally

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Don't tell anyone, the Health Department is already on our backs.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead

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Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

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What's the mosy hardest game in the world? The Impossible Game.

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Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

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Guess what. Chicken butt.

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A baby crawls into a bar. He cannot walk.

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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Why did the black guy fell from the stairs? Because I threw him

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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What's the difference between a live baby and a dead baby? A dead baby doesn't cry.

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Q:How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: Well, we can solve this problem of the wood chuck chucking our wood by putting all of your spare wood in a wood chipper. Try throwing dust you chucking bastard.

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If you dumb fooks keep swearing we are going to get banned.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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