Stephen Hawkings may know everything about the universe, but try to get him to tie his shoes.

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The banana, the raspberry and the pear arrived to the party, then the carrot and the tomato arrived as well, but when the apple and the orange arrived the banana left... ...This where just getting to fruity...

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why did Bernard have a bold because I ripped his Mohawk

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Bob: What's gucci bro Tim: Is that a company?

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Whats grosser than a bloody hand? 2 bloody hands.

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Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

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What do u call it when a Jamaican gets angrey? Nothing, at all. Just an angrey person

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

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-What do you call the brown spots in your yard? -Dog shit.

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Pen15

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Why doesnt your dad like barrack Obama? because your dad is straight, hes not into men

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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Yeah, it makes sense if you think about it, I changed my alias back and forth from Axel Knight, to Axel White, first because Axel White sounded not only as a opposite to Nero, but also because it sounded like something a Nazi leader would call himself, we went renegade and used that in order to draw in and bust a lot of Neo Nazi`s with enough money and bad intentions to make bad stuff happen. But thats another story, I heard about an Axel Knight partaking in Point Zero, had I known you where the leader (I hope you are being honest friend) I would have warned you much sooner, but there was no way for me to know if you where working together... Since you literally where.

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why does god like Justin Bieber? He can't god doesn't like the devil.

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How do you confuse a gay person? How? 7

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What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry, he used lube.

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why did the Mexican eat a octopus because he was hungry would die if he didn't

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A man named Hank, from Idaho takes a trip to Michigan. When he arrives, he rents a house and starts a meth lab. Hank is spending 7 years in jail. Hank was charged with stealing.

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how do you get a girl to stop ignoring you? you kill her family with her watching.

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Why did little timmy cry? He was nailed to a ceiling fan.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there was a red light and it was his turn to cross.

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A man walked into a bar and a knife seventeen times.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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