A man walks into a bar. Because he's had a rough day, he asks the barender for a drink. Then another... Then another... (continued) The man walks out of the bar and goes to his car. He starts to drive back to his house. He wobbly makes turns and closes his eyes every 5 seconds or so. He also talks to his boss on his phone for the majority of the ride. Surprisingly enough, he makes it home safely and doesn't harm anyone else despite the large amount he had to drink. He stumbles into his apartment and goes up to his room. He slumps down onto his bed on his back very heavily, causing the room to shake a bit. He opens his eyes, only to find his glass shandelier falling from directly above his face. His body was found by his girlfriend the next morning. I guess there's no real moral to the story then... Maybe it's: You can drink and drive, but don't put a shandelier directly above your bed... I guess? Wow. What are the odds?

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What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's a women. Why can't Stephen Hawking speak freely with his voice? Because he's autistic.

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How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights

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Why is Kony so mean? He used to date your mom.

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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What is worse than a badly told joke? A badly told Anti-joke.

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A blond, a brunette, and an Asian take a test. They all get exceptional grades and pass college.

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the awkward moment when a sentence doesnt end the way you think it octopus

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Roses are white, Violets are white, holy shit i can see the light.

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ok

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^that joke's not funny

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What did the girl say when she was hit by a train? Nothing she exploded on impact

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van.

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Q: What's the difference between a Chicken and a Triceratops? A: One is a Chicken and One is a Triceratops.

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lyren is a big meanyhead

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What did the dwarf do after he sore a mole? Nothing. dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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what do you get when you cross a man and a horse? Collision

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Q. what do you call mexican stoners A. baked beans

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What is a girl with one leg called ( iliene )

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Women's rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops