Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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What's black, white, and red all over? That could describe any number of objects.

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what is the entire jewish population minus about 13 million? The Holocaust.

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What is black, tastes like crap, lands in a toilet, feels soft and mushy, sometimes red, blue, yellow, purple and pink, feels very heavy. eats cookies, drinks soft drink and lights fires? A fat person in a coloured suit.

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What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

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Roses are red Voilets are blue I have a gun Get in the Van

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Go fuck yourself.

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I guess calling you dear was a bit overboard for you huh? Well, just promise me you will get whatever help you need if you get ill.

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How did Darth Vader make the little black boy's day? "I am your father"*heavy breath, heavy breath*

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The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout. Heavy rain came down and killed him.

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whats brown and stickey? a brown stick

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How do white people screw in light bulbs? They read a manual.

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What do u call a banana? A banana......

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How does a black woman know she is pregnant? When she pulls her tampon out the cotton is already picked.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cactus cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens butt.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

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Why didn't Billy have legs? Because he's a fish.

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(In a job interview) Interviewer: Name a time when you've failed sometime Me: I failed an HIV test last June, anything else?

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What's black and white and red all over? The color spectrum. Along with other colors.

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Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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cats are pussies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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