POLITE NOTICE: Management Committee here. Please refrain from posting any anti-jokes which are not offensive to protected groups.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A blond went to a barber to get her hair cut. She had her ear phones in and tolled the barber not to take her ear phones out at all. So the barber was swiching her ear phones to cut her hair then she fell asleep so the barber took both of her ear phones off for a minute and then she died

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "Only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats white and lives in a tree a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats do Hispanics and Blacks have in common? They are both stereo-typically defined and thus the subject of many popular jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are yellow Violets are also yellow Please don't stereotype again

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's black, white, and red all over? The color scheme. Except for the black and white. They're shades.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There once was a man from Nantucket. He's dead now.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A chicken rode into town on a horse named Friday. He was later shot by a dyslexic Russian dinosaur.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Harry Potter: Hey voldemort, you wanna go get our noses pierced?? Voldemort: I killed your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did The Chicken cross The Road? The Chicken was a new drug dealer to town and he did a deal with The Road , the town's existing drug dealer (they used these nicknames to hide their identities), but then back stabbed him to try and take the whole area for himself. Money and Power, as always.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Did you hear about the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13 for sexual content/nudity, language, and some violence.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

yo mama is so old, so old that she was given senior citizen discount at the restaurant.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the psychiatrist say to the man wearing nothing but Saran Wrap? - "That's for food. You should wear clothes instead."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you get when you skin a potato? A screaming kid with autism and no skin.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call a black man sitting on his porch in the middle of the night playing a guitar? A Musician.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Yourrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr soo uglyyyyyy

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Don't think of granny porn

thumb_up thumb_down +18

In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is the biggest lie in the world? I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I like my women like I like my coffee. Hot, black, liquid, and in a cup.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What caused the man to become blind? He took an arrow to the knee.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops