How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

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What did the pear tree say to the farmer? Go harvest that corn over yonder.

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why girl die cancer

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Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son was captured by a sexual predator, and your daughter tried to run from them, and now she's under the wheels of the bus going round and round.

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If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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Q. How do you make your neighbor mad? A. Run his kids over.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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What's so funny about losing the game? Nothing.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She doesn't have arms. Knock, knock, Who's there? Not Sarah.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being cut in half by a human while you were trying to eat an apple

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What are the two words that once you hear, You will feel a sudden gush of euphoria followed by immense depression? The Game

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Whats funnier then a dead baby? A lot of things.

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You know what makes jokes funny? Irony You know what makes anti-jokes funny? Common sense

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Moon: The sun shines bright like a virgin. He must be high..

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If life hands you lemons Take them

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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How many Jews can you fit in a one-person car? --One in the drivers seat, 30 million in the ashtray

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

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What's worse than no christmas? Taking a chainsaw to the face.

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How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

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What made Chuck Norris cry? Stubbing his toe

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? It's me, Jeremy. Oh, great to see you! Come inside. They then have a great time watching TV and eating snacks

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What did the gravel say to the road? Give me the D.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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