A tall German man and a short Ukrainian woman walk into a pub and sit down for a drink. The German, not wanting to seem rude, asks the Ukrainian how her day has been. The Ukrainian smiles confusedly as she doesn't understand German.

So there was a pirate, he got shot in the back. And when he got shot he turned to his freind (fellow pirate) and said i have been shot and there is a pretty good chance i will die.

A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says: both your legs are broken in 10 places, you will never walk again.

What word is 7 letters long, is composed of the letters N,G,G,E,R, and S, and stands for a group of people who annoy the crap out of you? NAGGERS.

what's purple and plastic purple plastic

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven three twelve. Am i doing it right?

what did the joke say to the anti-joke? do you want to fight

what did Dr. Dre say? Nothing you idiots! Dr. Dre's dead!

What did zero say to ten? I see you found someone

whats worse than 100 babies strapped to an atomic bomb? 1 baby strapped to 100 atomic bombs

The French guy and the Italian guy got in the bar at the same time, but they didn't talk as they didn't know each other.

Why did the family go to Mexico? Because they were deported

Me "knock knock" Tramp "who's there" Me "nobody you havent got a door"

Today, I had intercourse with a teddy bear

Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked Jill if she wanna. Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and had a little fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son

what did the bartender say to the customer? a. is it the first option b. is it the second option c. is it the third option.

Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

3 men walk into a bank. They rob the bank and kil 13 hostages.

I went to Nebraska and saw a dead squirrel

Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

thomas hall= fuckin dikc

Kerry Katona becomes independent.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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