What do you call a person without a heart? Not alive.

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Hey i just met you. and this is crazy. I sent you my pubes in an envelope.

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the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

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"Billy Mays here!" No he's not. He's dead.

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Dyslexics are teople poo

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What's worse than a mentally retarded boy screaming in your ear while your sitting in the waiting room at the doctors? 2 retarded boys screaming in your ears while your sitting in the waiting room at the doctors.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Why are Asian people bad drivers? Coincidental cases of blurred vision.

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How do you stop an oncoming bus? You push a stroller in front of it.

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What do you call a puppy with one eye, one ear, and one leg? An ugly mother f*cker.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

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Hummer.

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A child finally stood up to the school bullies! Recently the news did a story about a school shooting.

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black people

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Ted: Joe, do you think I'm dumb? Joe: No, I think you're Ted.

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myspace

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what do you do when mrs curaba gets heated through a fridge at her so she can cool down

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How much carlins does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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Why was Martin Luther King Jr. Shot? Because he was black.

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Two people were walking down the street. One was assaulted.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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