What did the indian man say to the black man? "Hi."

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What did Timmy want for Christmas? Parents.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

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A white man, a black man, and a mexican are stranded on an island. They all died.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Obamacare

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What time do you go to the dentist? Depends on the appointment.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are rather unintelligent animals which evidently do not understand the dangers of crossing a busy road.

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How many batteries does it take to run a car 1 a car battery

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What's purple and smells like crap? Crap. I lied about the purple

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what happened to the batsman with bad footwork? he got out what did the batsman do when he got out? he left the ground due to the nature of the ruling

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melon

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Roses are reb, Violets are dlue, Forgive my spelling, I'm byslexic.

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What do you do when you come to a fork in the road? You take it

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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What do you call a man in the desert? Whatever his name is.

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How do you get rid of herpes? You shoot up the cancer ward of a hospital.

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What is Cleopatra's favorite cookie? A: Chips Ahoy

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Whats lemon scented and you shouldn't drink? Bleach

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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How many finger does a fat person have? I don't know you can never find there hands.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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What did the girl say when the boy asked her out? Yes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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