Two ducks are sitting in the bathtub. One asks, "Hey, can you please pass the soap?" The other responds, "Sure, if you pass the typewriter."

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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whats big and white and falls from the sky\ Refrigerator

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Are those two people having sex? Yes, I think they are.

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What if your name was Mr. David and the office called you down and you were wearing a dress?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting ran over by a truck.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics? Not being retarded.

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why did the packers win the superbowl? because they were very good

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Ham and Cheese!

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What did a pornstar say when she heard hard banging from the front door? Come inside.

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what do you call a man with no penis? what ever his name is

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how do u have sex with a really hot girl who is not interested in you? Rape her in a dark ally

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AND

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill your neighbor. Can I have some flour?

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Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

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I met a muslim girl the other day Shes the bomb

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows. Chickens aren't capable of knowing why they do things.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? he has an iq of 5 like all chickens

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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What did the Momma Kangaroo say when she couldnt find her baby?

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What did the elephant say to the pelican? He didn't say anything. I lied.

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MRLSIXBWBSOVODKSHAIFKQJXIGJNRMWKSJDIVIVKEBWBEBKGKBODJWBEBJRRKFOBPBPDJWVECTNYLLNNIFUDJEBWKSOXOVOFJSBSBDKCKFKTKEBEJDLDOFIDKDJDHDBENSMSKSKSKSKSJDJDJSNRNTNTKDPQPWJSHCHCJDNEBBSJSKC

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What do you call a kid with no arms annd legs? Names

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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