So a guy goes to his doctor because he thinks he has an STD. He asks the doctor "how bad is it doc?" to which the doctor replies "Well, I got the test results and it doesn't look good. You've got chlamydia, gonorrhea, and onomatopoeia. The guy asks "What's onomatopoeia?" The doctor replies "It's exactly what it sounds like"

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Why Do cats purr when you pet them? I'm actually asking a question there I don't know why.

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I had sex with the Earth, and out came global warming...Imagine what will happen if i had sex with Obama?

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How do you stop a bus? Press the brakes

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'I had a surprise test today.' 'What happened?' 'I was really surprised.'

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How did the guy drown if he wasn't in water? A shark threw up on him

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why was ej's penis hard? because he had just got done having fine exquisit sex which he had ejaculated with a sturn body builder name frank who he had been seeing for the past few months.

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Did you hear about the alter boy that wasn't molested by a priest?

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What do you say to a whore with two black guys? How much an hour?

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A horse walked into a bar and asked for a pint. The barman said, 'Sorry, we don't serve horses.' Adele sighed and walked out.

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Whats the similairity between a dog and a cat? They're both cats, except for the dog.

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How do you scare a blonde woman? Tie her up and mutilate her family while she watches.

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How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With floss.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple.

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What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one Cool

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If roses weren't RED and violets weren't Blue... Walls are still solid objects.

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Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

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There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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Don't you hate it when you have 5 dead bodies, and you don't know which one to shoot your load on? -no

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European on my shoes, buddy.

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Why isn't Neil Patrick Harris like Barney Stinson in real life? Because he's gay

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A woman is carried out of a bar.

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A man walks into a movie theater.and attempts to parate a film. He is then caught by employees of the theater and now faces fines and possible jail time for his actions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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