What did Christopher Colombus say to his men before they boarded the boat to sail around the world? Get on the boat.

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How many dead lions can feed a bluejay? Bluejays don't eat dead or living lions, so this is highly improbable.

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what do a plum and a rabbit have in common? there both purple except for the rabbit

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Q:Whats the difference between Jews and Pizza? A: Jewish people are humans, and pizza is a food

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the mean terrorist said "i am going to kill your mother" that mother is now dead

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Life is like the Titanic. You cruise along on course and everything is great -- until you hit an iceberg and 1,517 people die.

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Who was the best Call of Duty World at War Player? A: Hitler he had 6 million kills and only 1 death

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what has small feet? a human being with a tiny proximity of feet matter.

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Why was the Africanan boy hungry? Because food is hard to come by in Africa.

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How did the man kill the black fly? He called the KKK fly and had it lynch the black fly

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Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

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why did the plane crash? the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q: How do you break into your own house? A:You don't....thats ridiculous(:

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What's just not right? Left

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What eats dicks for dinner and smells like he just licked an STD infested turtle? Jimmy

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why didn't Lebron James give me a fourth quarter?...he forgot his wallet at home and didn't have any spare change.

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Q: Why is Rosie odonell fat? A: Because you are sexual attracted to small children.

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Whats green all over and travels at 100mph A christmas tree in a gokart

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Have you got any grapes?" The bartender replies "No." The duck then leaves but returns the next day and again asks, "Have you got any grapes?" And again the bartender answers, "No." This happens again the next day and in annoyance the bartender yells, "If you come in tomorrow and ask if I have any grapes, then I will nail your feet to the floor!" The next day the duck came into the bar and asked, "Have you got any nails?" to which the bartender replied, "Yes." The duck then walked out of the bar

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What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

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Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

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Why did the old man order the little girl into the car? Because he was her grandfather.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm gonna screw you and you don't have a clue !

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How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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