Why did the chicken cross the road? Because once it had inadvertently escaped the farm it was being kept on it was startled and with no concept of road and pavement happened to traverse a road, with no real motive.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

My mum is called Steve

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats the worst kind of homework? child abuse

thumb_up thumb_down

A man named Cecil walks into a bar. He then orders a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Roses are red, Your blood is too, Don't believe me? I WILL CUT YOU

thumb_up thumb_down -18

men

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Don't tell anyone, the Health Department is already on our backs.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What kind of cat has no tail? Manx cat

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock. Knock. Who's there? Anonymous. Anonymous who? Exactly.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is the difference between a bear and berries? No idea? You better stay out of the forest...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a Ferrari and 50 dead babies? Where the hell would you even find 50 dead babies? That would be really disturbing.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Justin Beiber

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why didnt Santa give the little Girl her Pony? Santas not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

thumb_up thumb_down -27

whats the diffrence between love and faling in love when u love some one your not falling

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A White, Black, Hispanic, and an Asian man are stranded on a deserted island. They become best friends, proving race should not be a divisive factor in any community.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what happens when steven hawking walks into a bar? everyone cheers at the miracle of science.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops