What is black and white, and red all over? A mutilated penguin.

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Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

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Man walks into a bar and goes, "Ouch!"

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Why was Mary's phone call suddenly disconnected? She was raped.

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Who keeps knocking on the wall? My neighbors have sex a lot.

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Q: why didn't johnny do his homework? A:because johnny is dead

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McDonald. It's run by Lawers

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Costello: Who's on first Joe Girardi: Mark Teixeira

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Do you work at subway? Because I often enjoy eating there and i think the food is pretty good. I do not however eat there everyday because i might get overweight and get a eating disorder.

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whats forever alone me

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Why do so many people like writting really bad anti jokes? Said Santa Claus

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guess what? WHAT? Idk.

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Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

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A- 2 jews walk in a bar..what happed? B- they died 35 years later from skin cancer

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Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

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What did the army guy say when he lost his gun. Wheres my gun.

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What's the difference between your jokes and your penis? No one laughs at your jokes.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Some guy stapled it to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at it. Why did the girl fall off her bike? She was hit by 3 dead monkeys and a refrigerator.

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What's green and has wheels? A chinese race car driver.

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What says "Mooo"? A goat with an identity crisis.

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Why did the man fall of the cliff? A: Because someone pushed him.

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I love you. You love me. I killed you're family. No you're an orphan.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What happened to those who survived the attack on Hiroshima? They were killed in Nagasaki

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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