What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and an a pile of crap? One is disgusting and unsanitary and the other is a pile of crap.

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Knock knock Who's there? *silence* WHO'S THERE? *silence* -Looks out window- Slenderman

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Half life 3 confirmed

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One man asked another man what his favorite sport was. The man replied: " My favorite sport is golf." "Golf requires no physical strength, therefore I do not count it as a sport." Said the man who asked the question.

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked.

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what happens when a mexican makes love to an octopus? It makes a freaking weird looking animal

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died

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What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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How do you confuse a blond? Nordic mytholigi. That is, if shes american

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We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

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Why did Jenny fall off her bike? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Jenny

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man 1.have u sen my girl friend man 2. yes man 1. rely man 2. no man 1. dick

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Whats worse than ten babies stapled to a tree? One baby stapled to ten trees.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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Do you know what it looks like when you put a cat in the microwave for 3 minutes? I don't know either because I close my eyes when I masturbate.

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A.M.E.V.A.A A-ny M-essage E-xpressed V-ia A-cronym is A-wesome

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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One day there was 2 black guys in hoodys with knives in there hand. They tapped me on the shoulder and took my groceries. They then made me a jam sandwich and went on there way

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Why is a dog smarter than a human? Because you an asshole if you believe me

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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Why was Joseph Kony at a primary school ? It was 3 o'clock and his children had just finished a long hard day learning to read and right and it was his turn to pick them up after him and misses Kony developed a schedule one late night after the odd glass of wine or two.

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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