Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11

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I like my coffee like i like my women ... With big titys

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How do you kill a dead baby? You can't, it's already dead.

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Why was the little boy afraid of Mr.Clean? Because he reminded him of his father who was an alcoholic and used to beat him savagely.

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Your mama's so fat that she killed herself because she was so depressed about her weight.

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Q: whats worse than a worm in an apple? A: being raped by a giant scorpian

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-Ask me if i'm a crab. -Are you a crab? -No, why would i be a crab?

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Why couldn't the Mexican get a proper job? Because of his low socio-economic background and lack of education.

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Why was the girl running out of the school? Because her principal was trying to rape her.

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What do you throw a drowning guitarist? An emergency floatation device.

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What's weirder than an asian? His dinner

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A man walked into a bar with his friend. He drinks a certain amount of beers, and has his friend safely drive him home.

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What's the difference between Jews and Germans? Jews are allowed to have an opinion about the Holocaust and hoot and holler and threaten anyone who has a different opinion than they. The sad, anti-joke part of this is that most morons will actually support this tyrannical bullying behavior. Also, special taxes against Germans that they're not allowed to have a problem with. I guess slavery is okay if you're White.

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What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? 'Where's my tractor?'

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what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

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A man walked into a bar. He got drunk. What did u think he'd do, have coke-a-cola? Dumbass.

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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It's April Fool's Day and a little boy runs up to his mom. "Daddy hung himself! He's in the attic!" The mom runs up to the attic, but the dad's not there. The boy looks at his mom and says, "April fools! He's in the basement!"

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Erron who the hell are you? How many people are you going to use before you finish whatever the fuck is on your agenda?

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Hearpin my durp

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if life gives you lemons. squeeze one into your moms eye.

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Did you see Ray Charles's house? No. Yeah, neither did he.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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