Nero, you got followers, people that believe in you, ironically maybe a lot less now, that I have been giving them the fake illusion that I am you, why did you never reveal your true self? Is there something wrong with you physically? Something you fear being judged upon? I love and admire your work, and you to be honest, I know you are married and all, but my heart has chosen its path, it cant be helped really, believe me, I have tried. Dont lose hope in yourself, sometimes you have to accept that you are smarter, wiser, more compassionate and vulnerable than the rest, allowing yourself to be a vulnerable person, also shows how strong you are, if you shut it all away in order to become "strong", you know you end up alone and forgotten. I understand why someone such as you loses hope in humanity, but as long as you hold into the hope of you having the wisdom and courage required to stand on your own with pride rather than shame of your strength and individuality as a human being, something ever rarer I concur, then you have the right to consider yourself greater rather than some arrogant jackass, believe me, I know the man I am speaking about.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why didn't the boy get what he wanted for christmas? His parents had killed him.

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Why did the chicken kill himself? Because he was bullied as a child and is now suicidal

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What is dangerous when eaten? My grandmother's cooking?

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Knock knock Go away

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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Finding TWO worms in your apple.

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waiter there's a fly in my alphabet soup that's not a fly that's a spelling bee

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TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL! Cant we just dine at McDonalds? ITS THE SAME THING! Moral: Personally I love the taste of cardboard meat...

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A nun with shoes on walks into a bar with her husband.

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What do you call a black man who walks into a jail cell? A hard working and dedicated police officer who was just putting his first offender in jail.

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What is 9 + 10? 21

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Why Did the one handed man cross the road? To get to the dying man on the other side

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whose. There? Not Susie.

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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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What is stupid? I would say you but these jokes are worse.

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I work at jcpenny

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Roses are red Violets are blue Flesh is green When the dead start to rise you're on my team

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A mercenary was sent from the US to kill a terrorist leader. He was captured by the terrorists but wouldn't give away any information. They beat him, shocked him, cut him, and punched him in a dark room with a light beaming right down on him like a spotlight. It was a grueling five long days until they said "We know you have the information we want, tell us or you will die!" The mercenary sat in silence. They took out a gun and pointed it to his head. The mercenary then broke down and told the terrorists the information they wanted to hear. The terrorists then shot him to death.

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A man calls his wife, but she doesn't pick up. He comes home and shouts his wife's name, but no one responds. He walks upstairs and sees the bedroom door half-opened. He enters and sees his wife sleeping.

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Why did the man kill the hamster? To get to the other side.

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What do gamers call an abortion on quintuplets? PENTAKILL!!!

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What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs. It doesn't matter what you call him he still won't come.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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