What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

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what do you get when you throw a refrigerator at a boy on a bike? a severely injured boy, a lawsuit , a police record and a prison mate

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The doctor. You have aids.

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Q: How do you fit 30 Jews in one car? A: Two in the front, two in the back, and the rest in the ash tray.

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Roses are red Violets are red My lawn is red My fences are red It appears my garden is on fire.

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Why is the sky blue? Because bicycles have two tires

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How much booze did the homeless man drink? All of it. He is severely depressed.

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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you know its foggy outside when you step outside and its foggy outside.

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a man walks into a library Who the hell reads

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I walk into a bar...

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why was the boy sad because he had a cat stapled to his face

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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Q: What's the difference between Bigfoot and an intelligent blonde? A: Whereas intelligent blondes are known to exist, most scientists discount the existence of Bigfoot and consider it to be a combination of folklore, misidentification, and hoax, rather than a living animal, in part because of the large numbers thought necessary to maintain a breeding population.

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and bacomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into shit.

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What did the boy in the striped pajamas get for Christmas? A shower.

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So a hispanic man and a black man jump from a tree, which one hits the ground first? The hispanic man, the rope caught the black man.

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why didnt Timmy get anything for Christmas?His mom told santa he was very naughty that year

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Whats In My Trash? Bears

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

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The adventures of HAROLD THE MONGOOSE: Harry dug a hole. He did not like that hole so he dug a new one. He liked that hole so he did not dig another one. Harry slept on a rock. He did not like that rock. So he smashed it with a ham. Harry found a new rock. He liked that rock so he didn't smash it with a ham. Harry ate a snake. He did not like that snake so he regurgitated it. Harry ate another snake. He liked that snake so he did not regurgitate it. Harry encountered a bush. He did not like that bush. Unfourtianately for Harry, that Bush became president.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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