Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

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whats the only concert you can get into for 45 cents? a 50 cent concert featuring Nickelback

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -Pizza. That'll be 20 bucks. -Here you go. -Thank you.

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why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

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Why did the business man jump into a mud puddle? He didn't. He was brutally stabbed to death then thrown in a pigpen in an attempt to conceal the evidence.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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Much to my surprise, the Hoover Dam was not built by beavers.

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when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

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Two farmers are sitting in a cold field. One asks, "Cold day, isn't it?" The other farmer doesn't respond as he has been frozen to death and because of his death, he is unable to respond.

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A jew, a black, and a gay are walking together. The black points out a new house.

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whats blue and can be seen in the sky? the sky.

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A: Roses are red, Violets are blue. B: Then why are they called violets? A: I NEVER NOTICED THAT!

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You're pretty... PRETTY UGLY

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what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

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Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

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Jack and Jill climb a tall hill to get some water from the well for there farther who has been working in the fields. Jack trips and hits his hell on a rock and Jill promptly calls 911 and stays with him until help arrives.

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting constantly tortured for hours non-stop by getting your eyebrows plucked out one by one and getting your teeth pulled out and getting your arms cut open by a razor and getting your nose twisted off and getting your nipples ripped off by a pair of pliers and getting your toenails scraped off by a knife and getting a needle shoved into your eyes and getting a sword stuffed up your arse and getting your penis split in two like a hotdog and getting your balls smashed up by a sledgehammer so the sperm inside goes everywhere. I think that would be worse than dropping a dollar down the drain.

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are all dead

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yesterday i saw a man walking down the street with no legs. just kidding.

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How babies can you fit in a car seat? 1

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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