What did the alphabetical soup spell for little Bobby? U gOt SUzie prEgnant ....... aGaiN

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Roses are red, violets are red. Aaaaaahh! My garden's on fire!

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? i have no idea but i hope he got to the other side safely.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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So there is two clowns. Pickle and Jim. If you were asked who was funnier, you would probably say pickle. Well you would be wrong. It's Jim.

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Tacos

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Why did the batmobile lose a wheel? Because the Joker was raping Robin too hard!

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For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? TOO FUCKING MANY

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Your mother is so good in the kitchen that we all asked for a second helping.

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i told my parents that i was having friends come over my dad said great my mom said great so i said great

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Your mom is soooo fat..... She'll most likely suffer a heart attack

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.. unless you're color blind...

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? It was taped to the other monkey

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Yo mama so fat she went on a diet and steadily lost wait

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A Nazi ran into a Bar.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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Why can't Micheal J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because there is no such person as Micheal J. Fox. Michael J. Fox, on the other hand, cannot draw a perfect circle because he has Parkinson's disease.

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Q. Whats green jumps up and down and then red? A.A frog in a mixer

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? I don't cum on my watermelon before I eat it.

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How many ants are in the kitchen? None. We killed them all.

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What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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