Hey can you turn Tmartn upI can't hear him

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Why didnt jimmy go to school? He had a hangover

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Q: If you see a gipsy drowning, what will you throw him?! A: His family.

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How did the blind man know when to open his parachute when he went skydiving? The leash went slack.

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Who ate the cookies? Your face. Litterally.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I don't care! What are you doing in my house?

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What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

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You know what happens when you assume? You make a judgment based on incomplete information.

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What do you call a lump on your penis? STD

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a predator and crossing the road led it away from it's pursuer.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

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Why was there an awkward silence? Because numerous people gathered in a room were not talking.

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A Jehovah's Witness knocks on my door. I didn't answer the door.

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What is brown and sticky? A Stick

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What do you call a black man running with a TV? A hard working individual who is in a rush to watch his new TV that he bought.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? Dr. Jeremy Brown, I have your results from the blood test. It's good news they came back negative. Hooray.

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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How to you confuse an Alzheimer's patient? Present her with a complicated nuclear physics problem.

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What do you call a beagle and an eagle mixed together? A beagle.

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A Muslim walks out of a bar... Because he doesn't drink alcohol

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 2,091,029,203,284,485,389,684,564,345,089,859,849,485,374,094,394,584,584.00002394832323945834958349234854343432323343534342323243543534234358394564023285409564053942304923049234 x 10 to the 1234543565342312323560845834034th power divided by 0.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

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What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops