Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning. This is also known as sunburn.

What Makes Me Smile? Face Muscles.

Why did the man not want to be a tree? Because he didn't want to.

Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.

Obama

Once upon a time a homeless man was walking down the street. He stopped suddenly and realized he didn't know how to read. So he walked to the library to find someone to teach him. A woman was sitting at one of the tables so the homeless man walked up to her and asked, "Can you teach me how to read?" The woman stared at the homeless man for a few moments. Then she replied to him saying, "Not until you take a bath." Realizing that he smelled awful and that his face was covered in dirt he nodded towards the woman and left to go find a shower house. The homeless man came upon a hotel and asked the receptionist, "Excuse me sir, may I take a shower here?" The receptionist gave the man a long hard look and said, "Not until you find a better set of clothes." The homeless man looked at himself and saw that his clothes were quite old and worn out so he left the hotel to find a clothing store. He finds a clothing store and asks an employee, "Sir, may I have a new shirt, pants, socks, shoes and a pair of underwear?" The employee quickly said in reply, "Not until you pay for them." The homeless man remembered that he indeed was poor and didn't have a penny to his name. So then he walks out of the store to go find a job and make some money. He happens across a storage facility moving many heavy boxes. He walks up to the supervisor and asks, "Pardon me sir, do you need any help with moving these boxes? If you can pay me a few dollars I will help you." The supervisor said to him, "Sure, start moving them to that unit in the corner there. So the homeless man worked until dusk, made $55 dollars, went back to the clothes store, bought new clothes, waked back to the hotel and took a shower, and finally walked over to the library where the woman was still sitting and learned how to read. He walked out of the library feeling accomplished and full of pride. Unfortunately he wasn't paying attention to where he was walking. He slipped on the curb into traffic and was hit by a car, dying on impact.

Did you hear about the Asian boy that entered the piano competition? He died yesterday.

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? words

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? This isn't a car

Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. -Are u a grapefruit? NO!

There was Jew, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a Mexican guy at the store. The store was called Walmart.

Why did the black man die? He was shot

Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's been bound and gagged by kidnappers who are holding her for ransom.

Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

What has red dots and is yellow all over A poisonous frog

if u r not my friend, like this joke

Two muffins are baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the second and says, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" The second muffin replies, "Holy crap a talking muffin!"

YO mama so stupid, when she got hit by a bus she said WHO THREW THAF ROCK AT ME.

How did I do in the running events? Not that good, I'm a paraplegic.

Why did 9/11 take place? Because God hates Satan

What's the difference between Miley Cyrus and a dead baby? One is a popular singer and the other is a dead baby.

Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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