How can a man go 8 days without sleeping? Sleep at night.

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Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

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whats bad about being black and jewish they have to sit in the back of the oven

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A woman with big boobs walks into a bar and gets raped

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How many people does it take to kill the president? A number

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A man walks into a bar. Because he's had a rough day, he asks the barender for a drink. Then another... Then another... (continued) The man walks out of the bar and goes to his car. He starts to drive back to his house. He wobbly makes turns and closes his eyes every 5 seconds or so. He also talks to his boss on his phone for the majority of the ride. Surprisingly enough, he makes it home safely and doesn't harm anyone else despite the large amount he had to drink. He stumbles into his apartment and goes up to his room. He slumps down onto his bed on his back very heavily, causing the room to shake a bit. He opens his eyes, only to find his glass shandelier falling from directly above his face. His body was found by his girlfriend the next morning. I guess there's no real moral to the story then... Maybe it's: You can drink and drive, but don't put a shandelier directly above your bed... I guess? Wow. What are the odds?

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why doesn't anyone like reed? who cares, no one likes reed

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Why was the young women crying Because her fiancé who was battling a severe Case of pneumonia just passed away

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An Asian person drove home safely.

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Did u know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes by?

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I'm Ryan Dunn, and this is a 120mph car crash

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What do u call a bunch of black dudes burried from their necks down? Afro-turf

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Q. What do you call a Widow's Husband? A. Dead...

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What did the man give his wife for her anniversary? Nothing. The man is a raging alcoholic and forget her anniversary due to his high alcoholic intake during the past few weeks. Even if he did remember he most likely didn't care after seeing his wife cheat on him with another woman putting his marriage into shambles.

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How do you make a builder sad? You shit on his bricks.

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What does an eagle and a worm have in common? They both live in the ground. Except the eagle.

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How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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What do a duck and a tricycle have in common? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

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whats funnier than womens rights? ottos weight

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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Where does a hobo live? A box.

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An ant walks into a bar. Nobody Notices...

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There's a fine line between hyphenated words

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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