How long did it take for Michael to screw in the lightbulb? 37 minutes. Michael has cerebral palsy.

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Hey I just met you I'm on bathsalts your face looks tasty

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what is cooler than writing an anti joke? killing eveybody who thinks the " my garden is on fire" joke is funny

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women's rights

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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my friend got in a car wreck,he lost his left arm and left leg. how is he now? Hes all right.

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Two juggalos go to an Insane Clown Posse show.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. I don't know, I've had a bad day, I can't think straight. Why do you keep asking me these questions? Always talking at me, everyday it's the same - why can't you just shut up?! I would be better off dead, then it would stop, this suffocating blackness. I need to escape...I'm going to do it tonight...pills, something like that...I don't care any longer. Goodbye.

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Why can't Sally ride her bike? Because Sally is eight months old and doesn't even understand what a bike is.

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My mom says to me are you gay and i say are you gay (What did i just do)

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Hitler, a Nazi, and a Jew walk into a bar. Only Hitler and the Nazi walk out. What happened to the Jew? He had to use the bathroom so he asked Hitler and his Nazi friend to wait in the car.

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What do you call a bookstore with explosive offers? Barnes and Cher-Noble.

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Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

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What did the man say to the man with no head? You have no head

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How do you make a salesperson cry? Shoot him in the face and throw him off a cliff

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what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

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Knock Knock Come in, the door's open.

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What did one guy in the bar say to the other? Hi.

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Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Scholars maintain that the translations to the chickens journal were lost in a hurricane hundreds of years ago. Therefore, the chicken crossed the road for unknown reasons and died knowing it had a dull, pointless life.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? It is unlikely that this situation would occur, as tractors are very large objects and losing one would be very hard, furthermore, tractors are vital agricultural vehicles and most farmers would take care in not misplacing one.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My walls are yellow

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Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

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Viciously beating your children with other recently beaten children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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