What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Hey bill

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How to confuse a blonde. Buy 14 monkeys dye them purple and orange and hide them in her wardrobe

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How do you get a small freckly boy to stop watching television. You turn off the television.

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why did the chicken stop in the middle of crossing the road? to get to the other side

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A man comes to a fork in the road. He then looks around then proceeds to pick it up, puts it in his pocket, then continues walking down the road as if nothing had happened.

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You remind me of something. What? Summer Why because I'm hot? no because there is no class..

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The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

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A Christian walks in into a bar . . . mitzvah.

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How do you get a one armed polock out of a tree? You assess the situation and get a ladder the proper size to reach him, making sure the ladder is stable.

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roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

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What do you call a black guy driving a Mercedes through New York? A U.S. Citizen

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David: Hey dude, I'm so hungry! Jose: Yeah me too David: Wanna get some food? Jose: No, I lied.

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h

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Spotto

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Breaydn Simmons walked into a bar

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What do you call an 8 foot anxious priest painted purple named harold? Harold.

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A man is going to sign up for life insurance, he is stabbed by a mugger on the way and spends his last breath in a puddle hating the cruel irony of his fate.

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Bin Laden is dead.

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A man goes to his doctor and says, "Help me, my wife thinks she's a chicken." The doctor recommends a nearby psychiatrist to analyze the wife's mental instability, and inevitably she is housed in an insane asylum. The husband commits suicide.

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What did the pony say when it lost its voice? Nothing. Ponies are incapable of speech.

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Why are pigs smelly ? Because a cucumber can't walk.

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Japan called... They need help.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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How do you make Samuel L. Jackson cry? Trick question...Samuel L. Jackson don't cry. ever...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops