- Anti Joke

What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Some chocolate and a new DVD.

If life throws you fried chicken your probably black

3 guys walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

What is the difference between a pizza and the Jews? The pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

You know what's good for shoulder pain? If you ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 minutes repetitively three times a day

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

How many jews died in a gas chamber? None because the holocaust is a myth.

What size pants did the gorilla wear? An abnormaly large pair compared to the average human because their weight and width are porportionaly larger for their speices.

why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

BWAT

Gretta has five legs? -no

A man runs over a woman wth his car. Whose fault was it? The man because he should be driving on the roads, not in the kitchen.

i heard something so funny it made me crap my pants you were a mistake

Whats the quickest way to get famous? kill the president

Why Did The Black Man Cry? KFC Went Bankrupt!

Yo Mama's so fat that she is at risk for diabetes

What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmers daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soybean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture removers van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.

Q: Why did the girl fall of her swing? A: She was hit by a rogue fridge. Q: Why didn't she get back up? A: She was quite badly injured.

A man name Bill works 12 hours a day at a warehouse, almost everyday a week. It is a hard job but Bill does it to support his beautiful wife of many years. Bill thinks the long hard days are worth every moment he gets to spend with her. One night, after a hard day, he comes home to find another man in bed with his wife. Bill begins to sob and yell "I work 12 hours a day at a warehouse....." His wife yells back. "We already read this part, get to the punchline".

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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