There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

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What did the woman say to the man before she had sex with him? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

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What doesnt have arms and legs? A brick.

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What's the most common pickup line in a gay bar? "Hi, may I buy you a drink?"

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:O + :P = 69

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what do mexicans like most. icecubes

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Why aren't dragons real? Because if any animal were to breath fire (let alone have a gland that produced it), they would cease to live for their necks would scorch from the inside out.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van.

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A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation.

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I used to be an adventurer, but then I decided to retire.

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I just lied when I clicked the 'I have read and agree to the Terms of Service' to post this when in fact, I didn't read it at all.

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A Jewish man with a 20 mile boner walks into a wall. Which body part hits the wall first? His nose

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Why can't Sally ride a bike? Because Sally's a fish.

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OMG guess what she just told me!! idk......im deaf.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Why do the children cry at dinner time? Becuase there mother forces them to eat her own faeces and takes pictures of them doing it and posts it on the internet.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm bitten in half in your apple.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O too.” Then he dies.

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What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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