Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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what is worse than tripping over a tree root? getting mauled by a 60 foot bear

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What's larger than a grandmother clock? Plenty of things.

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Why did the black man buy watermellon? Because he was having a barbecue in his suburban neighborhood and he wanted some fruit.

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A black guy, Jewish guy, Chinese guy and a normal guy walk into a bar. They were all normal but the race of the last guy could not be easily determined.

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If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

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A guy asks someone's name. The other guy answer that his name is Steeve.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Actually it is,how may i help you?

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That moment where the screen shouts "HE MAN" And you look at the guy and go... Hmm did they say He-Man or She-Man? HE MAN!

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How do you know a blonde's been in your refrigerator?? There's lipstick on the cucumber!

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What is red and doesnt exist? No-tomato.

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why did the blond walk in to a door because she was not paying attention

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what did Stephen Hawking say to the prostitute? My illness prevents me from achieving erection.

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Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

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What did one orphan say to the other? My parents are dead.

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this is an anti joke so it has no punch line :D

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Do you know what's the difference between a bicycle and a black man? A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being.

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What do you call a burger made from children with Aspbergers? Cannibalism

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I met a man today. His name was John.

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Why is the fat man fat? Because he has an extremly bad metabolism which makes him gain two pounds from eating one cheeseburger

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What do you get if you cross a motorway with a lawnmower? Killed.

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There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

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A man copied someone else's joke on anti-joke, people looked at it and said "That's funny, but they copied it", then they moved on to the next one.

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How do you keep someone in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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