Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the jewish boy crying? i lied he was happy.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Twelve people are in a plane. One of them says: "Man, we really are not so many in this plane" Another one replies: "It's because it's a 12 seats plane." Another says: "Do 12 seats planes even exist?" Another one answers: "Of course they do." Another person says: "Guys, are we even flying?" Someone says: "I don't know" Another says: "Yes, we're flying, look out the window." Another says: "I have cancer." Someone reacts: "Oh, I'm really sorry for you" Another: "Yes, me too" Someone adds: "It's really terrible" Another says: "Has science made any progress recently?" The plane crashes.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what does the muslim guy say in a very busy metro station? jaallalalalalalalalla BAM

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who Doctor Octagonapus! BLAAAUUUUGGGHHHH

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, the mystery is how mice can get inside a lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

a man was hired for a job. he made a lot of money and was able to support his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man returns from the army and finds his wife in bed with another man. He kills them both.

thumb_up thumb_down +573

Two guys went into a bar and started drinking. After sometime one guy said to the other, "I love your mother.I want to marry her." The other guy said,"Come on dad,you have been drinking too much."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? It is theoretically impossible to read another's inner thought process, but it was probably due to the electric stimulation from the brain to give the chicken's muscles the ability to move.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence? Hopefully it made it over without lacerating its underbelly, thus causing fatal bleeding.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a bar, and he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your mother is so fat she has made a concerted effort to loose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why does the Green Giant's vegetables taste funny? He stands over his peas and corn.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't the little boy get to go to the movies on his birthday? He was both blind and deaf, completely defeating the purpose of going to the movies.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your Mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

This anti-joke below is hilarious.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

why was the boy sleeping in the basement? he was brought over from ethiopia to become a child sex slave and was now being help against his will in a basement

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops