America

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the raped girl say to the doctor? Nothing she was dead on arrival.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gait open.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

knock,knock who's there? the postman didn't answer as he is deaf

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Breast cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you get a cow off a swing? Hit it with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why is there a crack in the liberty bell? A:Because someone droped it and it broke

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg. Chickens evolved from their pre-historic ancestors who each laid an egg with a slight genetic mutation until one egg contained what is now classified as the modern chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

An elephant and a llama walk into a bar. Realizing that they must have broken out of the local zoo, all of the people run out of the bar screaming.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Robin, get in the batmobile

thumb_up thumb_down -2

whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There are two muffins sitting in an oven the first muffin turns to the other and says "Its pretty hot in here." the second muffin jumps back and yells "HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

You wanna hear a joke about my penis Nevermind, it would be inappropriate of me to say such a thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock. Racism.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's black, white and red all over? A zebra carcass

thumb_up thumb_down +18

From the makers of Call of Duty 1, comes Call of Duty 2.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why do Africans live in slums Because they have aids

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did the baby cross the road i tied it to the back of a car

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did the gay man say to the pole? May i have this dance

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

There was once a man who lived in a box.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops