Do you still got what it needs to become a better leader than me Nero?

A farmer has 17 sheep standing in a field and all but 9 drop down and die. How many sheep are left? It doesn't matter. A CIA sniper guns the farmer down, along with his family and the remaining sheep. The other agents move in and remove all evidence that the government is experimenting with a new nerve agent.

Why didn't you hit the little mexican boy riding a bike? - it's probably was not your bike and it would have been against the law if you did so it was the kind thing to do -AHW

What's the difference between meat and fish? You can't beat your fish.

Q: What did the priest say to the small child. A: Rite?

How many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? Pancakes are not a feasible material with which to build a doghouse.

Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

Why'd The Little Kid Drop His Ice Cream Cone? Because He Witnessed His Mom get Raped in front of his house by the man driving the ice cream truck and the realized that he was licking frozen semen......

what do you call a Puerto Rican with no arms? Trust worthy

why'd the chicken cross the road? he didn't what kind of farmer lets their chickens out on the streets, they get crunk you know

Rebecca Black. That's it. That's the joke.

what is 2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2-2+2x0 20

Q: What happened to the fat man on the roller coaster A: The roller coaster went slightly faster due to the laws of gravity

Q:How do u kill a butcher A: Kill its family

Roses are red, violetes are blue, Your monkey sucks.

Knock knock Who's there? NYPD you are being placed under arrest come out with your hands up.

Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

What time will the little girl get up for school? Never, she died in her sleep.

nock nock who's there is me u idiot we aranged this yesterday

Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

Knock knock Who's there? Guess who. You have 4 options: A. Jeremy Stevens B. Donald Jefferson C. Richard Gillespie D. Paul Faggot Um A? Nope, the correct answer is D. Paul Faggot Oh hi Paul, come in.

What do Michael Jackson and your family have in common? They're both dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

whats black and has 3 legs? a spider with 5 missing legs.duh.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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