A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed all of six's family

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What do you call a black man with a knife and red liquid on his hands? A chef who accidently spilled strawberry jam on himself.

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Four rats are smoking in an alley. One rat turns to another and comments, "These are some fine smokes. Where'd ya score these?" The rat holding the pack of Menthols replies, "Off a' Fred." He points to a rotting whale carcass in the road. The other rats are horrified. "How did a whale die in the street?!," they squeak. "He didn't. He died on the beach."

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Why was timmy having trouble with his homework? Because lobotomies were a forced practice in the 1950's.

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Why didn't the pharmacist set up his business in the jungle? Because setting up a pharmacy in the jungle is not a viable business option.

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Why was the mom crying? Her son was found in the oven.

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why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

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Hey babies The holocaust called, they want their screams back.

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what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

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Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

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Why was the skeleton afraid to cross the road? He wasn't, and in fact was entirely unaware that said road existed given the fact that he was deceased; and therefore lacked any sensory organs and motor functions associated with crossing roads.

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Ever heard about the gray pipes that ran along the walls? Those pipes transmit gas. Gas killed the jews. You sick fucker.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have condoms, But we didn't use them with you. You were DP'd, Now you have STD.

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Why did the man stop suddenly in the street? His unhealthy diet, alcoholism and smoking habit caused him to have a heart attack at the age of 56. He died because of it.

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Why was the gorilla crying? His brother died

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Whats 0+0 0

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Then what's your favorite team little white guy?

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them

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Roses are red violets are blue suck my **** and I'll **** you too

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Why did the sloth swing from the tree? It hung itself.

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What did the PC say to the Mac? Nothing you idiot! Computers can't talk.

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Your mom's so fat, I tried to rape her but couldn't find her p**** and gave up. Instead I decided to take her out to dinner. We enjoyed a lovely meal and I spent the rest of the night trimming her fat with a vegetable peeler while she screamed and bled all over the floor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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