Bob: Why did the chicken cross the road? Angus: To get to the other side... Bob: No. Chickens are unaware of the dangers of the road, and it was ignorant of the oncoming traffic during it's aimless wandering.

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A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

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Knock Knock. *silence* Knock Knock.

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

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David Silberberg is gay

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why did the chicken cross the road? the sudden lack of sidewalk dictated as such.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

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What happens when you throw a cricket bat at a blonde? She is hurt and reports you to the police for anti-social behaviour.

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Why was the man sleeping. He was tired

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What's worse than a car going backwards on the highway? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no hands.

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Why didn't the lobster share his treasure? Because he did not possess the cranial capacity to understand the concept of ownership; thus, he did not consider the treasure his

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Why do monkeys fly with their wings? Because Elephants tend to run out of battery.

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An Irish, an English, a Chinese and a French are together in a boat. And it shows the diversity of our society.

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine [Emo Philips]

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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Why was Little Billy crying? He had an axe embedded in his chest.

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What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

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A muslim, a priest, and a raabi walk into a bar. All three of them agree that it hurt.

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? Hit him with an axe

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because I shot him. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because his tail was stapled to the other monkey.

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knock knok whos there? Jacob Jacob who? U know, your friend!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops