Goats are like toilets, I shit in them

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Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

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How do you do to stop a baby who is circling? You nail his other feet.

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Why did the gang jump a man for his blue jeep? Answer The gang wanted a blue jeep.

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knock knock, whos there? the bum bum boys ready to dance :) ``~ ``sms

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hey bill!

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An Asian man is driving a car. He was on the way to the market to buy dinner for his family

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What did the blind man say to his wife? Nothing, for he was mute too

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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A: Knock! Knock! B: Who's there? A: Kitchen B: Kitchen who? A: GET THERE!

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roses are red, violets are red, ive been shot in the eye with a pelet gun, please ,please help

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black person on a bike? Its probably your bike.

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

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What did the taxi driver say to the chicken when the chicken called a cab? "aren't you supposed to be crossing a road somewhere?" Little did the taxi driver know that the chickens license was taken away for multiple DUIs because when his wife left him he became an alcoholic mess, lost his job and became depressed. But when he called the taxi, he was on his way to a job interview. Since he never made it to his job interview he soon went broke and lost his home. Having hit rock bottom, the chicken unawarely started to cross a busy road and was ran over by that same taxi driver.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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Why was the 6 year old girl crying? Her step-dad kicked her in the face.

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Why did the teenage boy touch himself at night? Because he was shot in the stomach by his drunken father and was trying in vain to stop the bleeding.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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how do you find will smith in the snow? with rescue dogs

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why did they make a new iphone? because individuals like to be connected to local and world wide media so they can stay in touch with all news, friends and family.

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How many elephants can you fit in a car? depends how big the car is!

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roses are red violets are blue i have a penis get in the bed

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Your Mother is so stupid that not only can she not peform basic mathematical sums, but she frequantly makes spelling errors

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A man cheats on his wife and ruins his marriage of 24 years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops