What did one manicotti say to the other manicotti? I doubt we'll ever know.

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guess what what? nothing.

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what has 911 got in commen with most bank robberies? all r inside jobs

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SUCK MY NUTS

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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Your mom's so old she sometimes uses outdated racial slurs loudly in public. It can get pretty embarrassing.

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There were three guy's caught trespassing on a farmers land. The farmer said he wont kill them if they did what they were told, he told everyone to pick one fruit. The 1st guy came to him with grapes. The farmer told him to shove it up his butt so he did, the 2nd guy came to the farmer with orange, the farmer told him to shove them up his butt but the guy kept laughing, the farmer got angry and snapped whats so funny? My buddy over over there is picking watermelons.

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In space, no one can hear you scream. Which means Xenomorphs are deaf.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

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We decided to post a joke on anti-joke and see if we can get any rapings

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Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

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69

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There's no way to know. The chicken can't speak any humanly comprehensible languages so any reason we can determine is pure speculation.

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What do you do when you see an epileptic having a fit in the bath? Take him out of the bath, make sure there is nothing they can hurt themselves on, put something soft under their head and loosen their clothing if it’s constricting their breathing.

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A girl walks into a supermarket. She picks up a banana, a can of soup, and a loaf of bread. She then walks up to the cash register to pay. The cashier looks at her and the items she has and says, "I can tell you're single." She smiles and responds, "How do you know that?" He says, "Because you're ugly."

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Why does manure smell like poop? Because it is poop.

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why shouldn't hellen keller drive? because she's a woman

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A baby gets hit by a bus.

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what is the difference between the number 2 and the number 5 3

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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Why did paul macartny have plastic surgery? Because he wasn't happy with the looked

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Me: Hey, Johnny! Do you see that Tree? Johnny: No. Me: Neither do I.

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In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

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What is exceptionally dangerous? Shaving while taking a bath, because the risk of electrocution is extremely high.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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