What did the black man say to the white man? Hi im phill

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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What peels, is a fruit, yellow and tastes like a bannana? A bannana.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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For every person with a broken heart, there is another person out there with a stapler <3 And that person really needs to staple their math papers together so they can turn them in.

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Why did women scream loudly!? As the women was unexpectadly frightend!

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why is my wife crying? because she doesn't like tomatoes

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roses are red violets are blue my cat died and i have alsheimers who are you

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- Ask me if I'm a firetruck. - Are you a firetruck? - No.

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What did the clam say to the scuba diver? FUCK MAN! STOP TOUCHING MY JEWELS! WOULD YOU WANT ME TO JUST RIP YOURS AND TAKE THEM WITH ME!

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Q: What is worse than The Apocalypse? A: Darkseid, Thanathos, Red Hulk, Onslaught, come on The Apocalypse cant even beat the X-men! Moral: "I AM THE APOCALYPSE, YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE!"

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a man jumps of a cliff and ..... hits the ground

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Why was the Asian woman late for work? She was raped.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? no... Well, It's really nice. :)

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms

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Why did an asian lawyer commit suicide? Because his wife left him and he hated his miserable life.

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why did the kid die? his mom shot him

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You spent your time reading this and realized there was no joke.

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Why couldn't the ten-year-old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13

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Whats worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bees stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings. Now, if you have been well-educated you should be able to tell the problem with this joke. Unless you know someone whos jewish and lived during the holocaust, you couldn't be sure if three bee stings was actually worse than the holocaust. If ou do however, thats good for you, keep it to yourself.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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What was the little boys least favorite part of Christmas? Getting raped by his uncle.

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happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no hands. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not sally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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