Q: What's black and blue and hates sex? A: The 8-year-old boy tied up in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did one cow say to the other cow? nothing cows cant talk. They did however, exchange glances while chewing grass next to each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Rose are Red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?", laughs at his own joke, then calls animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what does a granny look best in? 1950

thumb_up thumb_down -12

So heres a scenario. You and your twin brother are Siamese twins. You are straight and your brother is gay. Your bother has a friend come over. You only have one butt....

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road. He didn't, this joke gets old really fast

thumb_up thumb_down +7

If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5, you both have the same amount of money

thumb_up thumb_down +2,115

if someone chucks skittles at u and says "taste the rainbow!!!!" chuck m&ms at them and say "Im not afraid!!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I am the sun. You are the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

There were three guy's caught trespassing on a farmers land. The farmer said he wont kill them if they did what they were told, he told everyone to pick one fruit. The 1st guy came to him with grapes. The farmer told him to shove it up his butt so he did, the 2nd guy came to the farmer with orange, the farmer told him to shove them up his butt but the guy kept laughing, the farmer got angry and snapped whats so funny? My buddy over over there is picking watermelons.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What's better than a gold medal in the special olympics? ICE CREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how do you get a cow in the fridge? Open the fridge, and insert. How do you get a kangaroo in the fridge? Take the cow out and insert What animal is not in the lion king? kangaroo --WHY hes still in the fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Me: Why are red onions actually purple..? Dad: I don't know Sister: *sarcastic* Well, Why is it rainy in London? Me: ....Because that's the weather pattern.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is the worst part about being a blonde? Random green painted strangers throw forks at you claiming it will confuse you, because they got it off of an anti joke website!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what is worse than finding a worm in your apple the earth exploding

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's harder than nailing seven dead babies to a tree? My erection while doing it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

-Why Peter is going to mall for buying some beer? -Because he was 18 and he was able to do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did Helen Keller get at the store? Glasses

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops