What do you call a man wearing a hockey mask and holding a chainsaw? A Lumberjack, I lied about the hockey mask

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why did the boy and girl go under the covers together? because they were cold

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How do you kill off a zombie apocalypse? Laser vision

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

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What does a blonde see when she looks into a box of cheerios? A delicious and hearty breakfast that lowers cholesterol and is good for the heart

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What do you call a woman who has huge breasts? Sarah, for instance.

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What'd the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Just Dance 2 the video game

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How do you confuse an idiot? By confusing an idiot.

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What dies but was never living? The hopes and dreams of small children.

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It’s dead.

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Knock knock Who's there ... Hello? Is there anyone there? (In the bushes) Ha! He'll never suspect us!

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So much oil was spilled into the ocean that it is killing animals.

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Why do vampires suck blood? Because they re crazy.

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Your dad is so gay, he does not have a girlfriend.

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whats black white and red all over an abused child

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A dog walks into a bar and succumbs to heartworm.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? EVERYWHERE

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What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Being a Japanese person in Hiroshima on this date.August 6, 1945

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What did the Japanese man do to the pizza? He ate it.

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What's funny about a black person, a Jew, and a mexican's graves being side by side? Nothing.

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What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

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Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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