Why was the boy holding his breath? A man was holding his head under water.

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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Baby seal walks into a club... what a tragedy

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GRAAAAAAAR.

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What do you call a black person who has fallen? an ambulance

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One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

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How do you get four gay men on one stool? You get three more stools.

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A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender. "I want six shots of whisky," responds the young man. "Six shots? What’s the occasion?" asks the barman. "My first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a seventh on the house." To which the young man replies, "No offence sir, but if six shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

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How do you know your roommate is gay? His dick tastes like shit.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm locked in someone's basement, Please help me.

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What did the Pitchfork say to the Gremlin? Nothing, because its a pitchfork, and gremlin's don't exist.

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Q:What did Sandy say to Spongebob? A:Nothing, They were both crushed by the water pressure of being on the bottom of the ocean.

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What does a black man do when drives up to a STOP sign? Stops.

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A blackman and an asian are walking down the street they pass eachother exchange looks and continue on with their day

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9/11.

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so a baby seal walks into a club, the bouner immedietly kicks the seal out because it is too young to be in a club and also.....itsa seal

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-Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? -She had no arms. -Knock, knock. Who's there? -Not Sally.

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why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

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What does a man say to his annoying friend? Please stop annoying me now.

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Your momma's of a reasonable figure and weight.

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Why did the guy throw a clock out of his window? Because he had mental issues.

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? Generally speaking- biology, except in cases of transexuality.

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Q: What was the proctologist doing on the street? A: He was observing the assfault.

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I named my cat Pounce because she jumps. In retrospect I suppose most cats do jump, in fact, they are even known for it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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