Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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Where's my tractor?

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THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME

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How many Poles does it take to change a lightbulb? Just the one, usually.

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I don't like movies. Because ticket prices are overwhelming.

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I have a horse.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape her abusive father

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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haiku's are stupid, and do not always make sense, refrigerator.

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Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

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Why does Beyonce sing "to the left, to the left"? Because that's where a box of everything you own is

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3 guys were caught trespassing in a field and were sent to jail. The cop asked the first guy, "What were you doing in the field? He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop asked the second guy, "What were you doing in the field?" He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop then asked the third guy, "Lemme guess, you were blowing bubbles too? The guy replied, "No silly, I am Bubbles!"

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What did the black man say about Linkin Park? That there's obviously a rapist in their midst and they should all be questioned.

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what do you call three kkk guys in your house ghost busters

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How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

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How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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What is the good thing about having sex with KL..... Nothing because she is a fat man

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Three surfers paddle out into the surf. They had a pretty good time, except one of them got a shit ton of water up his nose.

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How much is a pet whale? $1350.99

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How do you make a sandwich? You don't, you have a girl do it for you.

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Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

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Why didn't the blonde make it in a gun circle? The blonde yelled "Fire"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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