Why are objects in your mirror closer than they appear? Because they are closer than they appear.

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What kind of parrot can't mimic human voices? One that's just had it's vocal chords illegally harvested and sold on the black market

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Why did the boy ask his dad for a phone? Because he had his head stuck up a sheeps bum

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roses are red vilits are blue get in the van or i kill you

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Why did the baby cross the road? I don't know but it got hit by a semi during.

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What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

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What happened to the soccer player when he got kicked in the leg..... He cried on the ground for hours even though there is padding there

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Once upon a time, a boy sat on a hedgehog. He abruptly stood up, as the spikes had caused him a certain amount of discomfort.

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a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

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how do you punish helen keller? leave the plunger in the toilet.

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What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

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Roses are red, violets are blue.. Oh i can't finish joke coz i gotta go poo ! :/

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I do like haikus even when they are random refrigerator

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How do you get a black guy down from your tree? You can't, because there aint any.

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What's white on top and black on bottom? Society.

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Q - What is worse than a nerdy joke on anti-jokes with a lot of big words in it? A - Although I get scared when i see big words, the page long jokes are probably worse

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Your mother's so fat, her blood type was Ragu

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After going at it for several minutes, the teenager, with a big grin in his face, finally busted a nut during Thanksgiving dinner and was able to remove the walnut from its shell and enjoy it.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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why was the boy mad at school? something probably upset him.

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this is madness! Madness? no, nevah... THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!! NO, THIS IS PATRICK!!!

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Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

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Q. How do you make time fly? A. It is highly impossible to make time fly for there is 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute so therefore the time flows how it should and we do not have such power to do it even though many people claim they do when they know they really don't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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