Why did the cat die? To get to the other side

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Roses are red, Violets are red, The grass is red, The garden is on fire.

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Why did the boy ask his dad for a phone? Because he had his head stuck up a sheeps bum

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A teenage girl walks into a dark alley. She emerges on the other side completely unharmed.

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Why did the christian go into the church? To pray.

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A priest and a police officer are sitting at a bar. They both have considerable drinking problems because problems unrelated to their respective occupations. The bartender's name is Mike.

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Q: How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? A: 2 in the front, 3 in the back and 95 in the ash tray.

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When life gives you lemons, thank life for its generosity.

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Knock Knock: I have full blown AIDS

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van.

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a guy takes viatamins thinking they would help him be healthy he choked and then he died from choking on a jolly rancher

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Why did the autistic man cross the road? He was also depressed. It was a highway.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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What happened when the man rubbed the magical lamp? Nothing.

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a man offers an innocent little child some candy from his van upon arrival the child is raped and beaten suverily. -teagan doherty-

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Why did the man slowly cross the road? He had a prosthetic leg.

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Why was a black man running in the street with my wallet in his hand? Because he saw me dropping it and was trying to reach me to give it back.

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Q: What has one eye but cannot see? A: A blind cyclops

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Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Oh, they were just nailing a notice of foreclosure to the door.

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What do you call a man who walks at your door in a Saturday morning? A jehovah witness.

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How do you kill a dwarf? You put rope around his neck and attach the other end to a concrete slab. Proceed to then through him in the ocean.

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what is the difference between oral and anal? anal makes your day and anal makes your whole weak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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