I walked into temptation yesterday, He said hi.

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gingers

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Roses are black violets are black I can't hear anything I'm Helen Keller .

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You just won the game...

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whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer

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The philosophy professor decided to isolate himself in his closet until he figured out the meaning of life. After ten years, he had done it. He came out of isolation and immediately found one of his former colleagues on campus. He said, "I've discovered the meaning of life!" The colleague said, "Ok, what is it?" The professor said, "Life is like a bridge." The colleague said, "How so?" After a few moments, the professor nodded and said, "Yea, I guess you're right."

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Your mother is so fat that when she looks in the mirror she is deeply upset by her appearance.

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What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

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Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

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rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

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what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

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What's the differences between oranges? Trees don't have doors.

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"Why did the clown fall off the swing" "he was shot in the face"

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How did the dead baby cross the road? stapled to the chickens foot.

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hey, my names mark.

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how do you wake lady gaga up? you punch-her-face

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whats green and lives in the water

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Yeah, I mean to be honest with you, I get that one a lot.

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What do you call a horse with wings? Nonexistant. Welcome to the real world kid.

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Why couldn't the tractor start? The farmer lost the keys.

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Why did the Muslim kill a gay guy? Because the gay guy was threatening his family with a gun.

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Mike tyson

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How do u shit With ur ass

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When will Abe Vigoda be alive again? Never. There will never again be a time when Abe Vigoda will be alive. For example, Abe Vigoda will be dead for the entirety of the year 2038. He will continue to be dead if we move forward to the year 2091, and even if we keep jumping forward throughout history, stopping in the years 2250, 2871, and 3546, we will not land in an era when Abe Vigoda will be alive. Another way to look at this is to imagine Abe Vigoda had died in earlier years. Let's say he had died in 1902. Would he be alive today? The answer, sadly, is no. We get the same answer if we suppose Abe Vigoda had died in 1822, 1715, or ~ 85,200,000 BPE. To sum up, it is not precisely accurate to say that Abe Vigoda will be dead for a very long time. That implies a limit on the amount of time he will be dead. There is no limit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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