What do you do on Mother's Day? This is not a joke, I don't know what to do.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? I agree to the terms of service.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Grandma walked into the kitchen...

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Easy, you get a phone with a recorder that rather than playing a "please leave a message after the tone", plays the same tune as if the phone was still not picked up. Now tell me here and now, because I wont waste more time on you, what part did you play in this? Jenny Chatterton? Another one of your pseudonyms? What the fuck did you think would happen? You live in the Uk, london, so, tell me everything, or I will share every single detail here.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? 7 ate 9!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees - have nothing at all in common.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Friends are a lot like snow You pee on them, they disappear

thumb_up thumb_down +13

KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Wat is brown and sticky? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the chicken cross the road? He had escaped from his farm and didn't understand the laws of jaywalking.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Two men walk into a bar. One gets drunk, goes home, savagely beats his wife, and goes to jail for domestic abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

your mama so dumb her iq point is below average

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

b r o k e n k e y b o a r d ! ! p l e a s e h e l p ! ! ! ! !

thumb_up thumb_down -49

A black man, a jewish man and an asian man walk into a bar. They are attending the wake of a friend who died of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was black

thumb_up thumb_down -4

yo mama soooooooooooo fat that she should be concerned of the incressed risk of dibties

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's funnier than 3 midgets in a treehouse? A talented comedian.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

whats purple and has legs? Nothing, i lied about both

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man is mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he reaches down to see if something's stuck in the blades. What does he pull out? His finger.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a black man holding a pistol? A black man holding a pistol

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops