A mailman walks into a bar He delivers a bill for the electricity and leaves.

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Why are elephants ears sooo big? The big ears are to help the elephants stay cool. Elephants don't sweat, so they have a hard time dissipating excess heat (keeping cool). Their large ears contain many blood vessels that allow heat to escape into the air. When you see elephants they are usually moving their ears back and forth. This fanning helps to dissipate more heat than if their ears remained still. The enormous ears of elephants act as cooling devices. The gigantic earflaps (which can measure up to 2 square metres (21.5 square feet) are equipped with an intricate web of blood vessels. When the animal flaps its ears, the blood temperature lowers by as much as 5 degrees Celsius (9 degrees Fahrenheit). To keep cool

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Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

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Roses are red Here's something new Violets are violet NOT F**KING BLUE

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Roses are red, Violets are purple

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How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? My dad is dead.

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the WNBA

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what's brown and sticky? A stick!

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A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

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If god gives you lemons You find a new god.

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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What's green, [ THIS BIG ] and flies around the room... A remote controlled gherkin!

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Me: do u you want to here a joke You: ya Me: Woman's rights

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What has 389,236,587 arms, has rainbow colored fur, and fornicates on your front lawn? Absolutely nothing. That's pretty much physically impossible.

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lewis=cardiac

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What did the man say to the other man. Hi

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This statement is false.

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What do you call a doctor without a head? Deceased

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What is worse then rain on your wedding day? Getting married.

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin.

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Roses are red, My watch is gold now get on your knees and do as your told

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Why did the surrealist go to the doctor? Knock Knock.

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A dead guy laying on the floor holding a gun and a knife. What killed him? cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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