what's worse than finding 8 babies in 1 trash can? nuclear warfare

So a bear walks into a bar. Everyone in there goes hysterical with the fright. Two people are killed by it.

Fox News

A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

What did Robert Kardashian say at O.J.'s most recent trial? Nothing. He died of esophagal cancer

yo mamma so ugly I think she has cancer

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

hi anti joke

What did one Chinese man say to the other? ?????

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

Why do women have boobs? So they can feed their newborn children without paying for expensive formula

Why did the black man cross the road? To show the chicken that it isn't that hard.

"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

What's long and hard? The Ap European exam that i just took.

What do you call a fly with no wings? A fly.

A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says Why the bloody face? The shark replies by saying my wife beat me with a stick. Considering that sharks cant talk, the bartender ends up going to the doctor to see if he may be dillousinal.

Mom: Ask me if you're adopted Boy: Am I adopted? Mom: yes

Chuck Norris walks into a bar and the bar says "ouch!"

what do you call a black man with a job? dont know, has never happened.

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Why did the Chinese family eat a dog? Because they were poor and starving refugees.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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