What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

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How do you know when Taylor Swift is dead? When you don't hear Boyfriend songs anymore

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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What's the difference between a whale and an elephant

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i'm hard

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Q: Do you know what you can make when you have enough cents? A: Dollars

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a guy walks down a street when he sees a bomb he walks away

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What do Ethiopians do at night? Sleep

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Liar liar, your dead nans carcass is on fire.

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A house comes around the corner.

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One penguin says to another penguin, "It looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other penguin says, "Yea, I have to go to dinner party later."

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? I don't know, I don't have a watch anymore.

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What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend? I have AIDS.

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Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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I wish I Charlie Sheen's Dealer.

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Someone asks for his autograph to which he replies. "Sure"

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A woman catches her husband cheating on her she divorces him in a rather lengthy sequence of meetings in court

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I Wish... I was Charlie Sheen's Dealer

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A mathematician, a physicist and an economist are stranded on a deserted isle in the South Pacific. One day, a lantern washes up on shore. The scholars lament the uselessness of this object.

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How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

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what do you call a black person in a electronic store? a customer

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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Crowded elevator smell different to midget-Confucius say.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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