A cat jumped into a swimming pool It drowned and was cremated.

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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What worse than rain Osama Bin Laden

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if i have 2 bananas, and you have 2 bananas, then together we have 4 bananas what are the chances?

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if quizzes are quizzical, arent tests testical?

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I'm Coming

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Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

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why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

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A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

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Whats worse than a dead whore? 9/11

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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what do u call a person who reads anti.jokes a hipster

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Why did the horse go to the doctor? It had a heart disease.

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what is Stephen Hawking's condom brand called? Anti-Virus

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Knock knock! Who's there? Sheryl Sheryl who? No seriously, it's me, Sheryl.

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Question 1 - What is 1 + 1 = Hospital

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What happened to the woman who walked down a dark alley way? She found a lolly.

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lololololololololol

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Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Nothing. His parents are dead and Santa doesn't exist.

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What is makes you more happy to see than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed up as a clown.

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What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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What advice did the cat give to the man? Nothing because it's a cat.

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What's the difference between a duck? both of it's legs are the same.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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