Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Tulips are brown, I need to stop working on my flower garden after fisting a cows butthole.

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What do humans and fish both have in common? They both live underwater, apart from humans.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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I've got a great new 'Knock Knock Jock

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Why did Landry hit the man with a metal pipe? Because he was a rapist and wanted to remove his virgin status.

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? A watermelon is edible.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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why did the rooster cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

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Why don't Polish women use vibrators? They are extremely conservative Catholics.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We are here to inform you that your daughter has died in a drunk driving accident.

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dinosours eat beagles and then unicorns eat norwalls then th shiny squarles eat you then unvirse inploads

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a dude goes to vegas and loses his money, the moral of the story is not to trust the internet this story was written by The Internet

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Why am I telling you this joke? Because the person who did it before me mentioned that he enterted this, agreed to the Terms of Service and clicked submit - but missed out that he also typed in the capcha. Mine said: never quit.

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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What do you call an orange fruit? An Orange.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's bigger.

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What's the difference between a chicken and a 3 legged dog? There are numerous differences. I will not however go into the biological explanations of these differences.

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What did Billy get his dad for Father's day? Nothing, his dad was killed by a spinning helicopter blade when Billy was 3.

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Why can't a T-Rex clap his hands? Because its dead

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Why didn't the man kiss his wife. Because he had no lips.

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A Mexican walked away from a construction site.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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