What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? Nothing. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said objects are, are in no way capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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Strength of body Vs Strengh of Mind. Mind: You can lead a horse to water... Strength: Then you can force that mother*bleep* to drink all you want that *bleep* to drink! Strength of body wins, horseless victory.

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What is 1+4x : No i will not take my pants off!

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what do you get when you use heroin aids.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? one dead baby nailed to ten trees

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Why did the girl drop her vannlia ice cream? Vannlia Ice punched her for being cool as ice.

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what did the girl said to the stalker? i dont know cuz if i did, i would be a stalker

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Guess what I saw today? Everything I looked at.

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How do you get a cat off a swing? You throw a dog at it.

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Two muffins are in an oven one of them says "wow it's hot in here" The other muffin says "Ah a talking muffin"

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What did the kid with no brain get for his birthday? Nothing because nobody thought that he would do anything with the toys because he couldn't think of what to do with them.

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How many Asians did it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1 Asians are just like every one else

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

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Try this on your friend Have him start with "knock knock" Then blankly stare at him, if he asks you To reply tell him no one is home

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not sally

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What do an eagle and a badger have in common? They both live underground...except the eagle

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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Keanu Reaves

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ROSES ARE RED VILOTS ARE BLUE I HOPE YOU KNOW IM A JEW

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a kangaroo walks in to a bar and sits down. Kangaroo's live in Auustralia

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why was there a man outside the 56th floor window? he was a window washer and needed the money.

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Why did Alex die? He choked on a semi truck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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