What do a boat and a computer have in common? Nothing

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What type of vision does an Asian person have? 0-0 because he is blind

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You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

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Q. When you drink two 5 hour energies, do you get 10 hours of energy or double the energy for 5 hours? A. You die

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Your mom's so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and foods with nutritional value!!!! Oh burn!!!!

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Why didn't the mexican have a job? because he was working on his masters degree

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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Whats worse than forgetting your first homework assignment of the new school year? Being hazed on the first day of school to the point where you seriously consider suicide

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What do u do to blow off steam? I simply go to the top of the empire states building, poor gasoline in a bag, put a baby in it, light it on fire, and through it off the side. problem?

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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A rapist walks into a bar. He is promptly arrested afterwards.

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How do you make a puppy stop barking? Throw a brick at it.

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Q. Why did the 8 year old girl scream and cry when she was raped? A. I no idea either. I drugged her and taped her mouth closed.

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What's heavy, black, and when hanging by a rope from a tree, makes white people happy? A tire, in any white football player's backyard.

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How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

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Thats a real shame. How come your eyes are red to begin with? You can use hypnosis to change the color, but if you never learned how, I am not gonna teach you.

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How do you make time fly? You can't, time is the duration of events and therefore cannot "fly".

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What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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how many cookies did the fat kid eat? a perfectly reasonable amount of cookies.

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A frog hops into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get you to drink?". The frog hops out and the bartender realizes he is talking to animals because he has anxiety issues and all of his friends leave him and he spends every night crying and waiting to be loved...so he shoots himself.

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What do you call a penis without hair? Apple sause

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Knock knock. Who isn't there? Not me. Don't come in. I won't.

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Knock knock Whos there? FUS ROH DAH

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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