If I have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, we both have the same monetary value.

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Why is SkrillEX bad at fishing? S EX

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I went to the store and I fell

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In 2012 at what age are Americans allowed drink? At any age. liquids are vital for human beings to survive.

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how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

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Why did the rooster chase the chicken? - They were playing tag!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin that someone shot with red paintballs.

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Women's rights.

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what happened to the christian when he died? nothing because god isnt real.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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How do you get a Mother out of a tree? Ask them to come down, because it is really not socially acceptable for a responsible adult to be climbing trees.

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There is a very old lady at the bottom of a long flight of steep stairs with a large amount of groceries piled up in her hands. How did she make it to the top?? She walked.

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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Justin Bieber saying "shawty"

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

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why did the students in 7/8 red try to commit suicide? they had miss harding as a teacher!

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A man gets home from work with red on his collar. His wife asks what it is. The man replies "I had sex with a young woman, your to old and you disqust me"

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Whats black and is on sale in shops? Blackberries.

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Q: What does a baby look like in a microwave? A: I don't know, I don't masturbate with my eyes open.

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why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

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Q: What's grey and looks good on policemen? A: A stylish grey hat.

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What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

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CAUSE IT'S ONE, TWO, THREE STRIKES YOU'RE OUT

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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