Q:What happened to the leprechaun when it jumped in the water? A:It got wet.

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Why was OJ Simpson's knife covered in blood? Because he just murdered his wife.

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your mom is so fat she died of brain cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Rocky was chasing him

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How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Marijuana

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. knock knock. who's there? the chicken.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What did John F. Kennedy say to Kurt Cobain? Nothing. They never met.

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(A man in a dark van pulls up)... Hey kids can you come help me find my puppy? The kids get in the car and they find the puppy in a near by park. The kids are then safely returned home.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Drowning.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, Everything is gray, I'm a dog.

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What's a skateboard without wheels A snowboard

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If life gives you melons.. You're just plain retarded.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? he has an iq of 5 like all chickens

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What do you call a flying Jew? Smoke

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What's worse than seeing your goldfish die? Watching your grandfather have a stroke.

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E= McVagina

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Your mama's so fat, that at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to diet and exercise before her obesity manifested itself in a variety of chronic afflictions that would detract from her ability to lead a long life.

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What does it say on the back of Superman`s cape on the "new" movie? My other actor was an awesome dude, all I got now is this asshole... Moral: Christopher Reeve... takes lasers... shotguns, eats lava with his cornflakes... falls of a horse... dies... Moral2: HEY What is the booing for? This is the ANTI JOKE! SECTION... but now to my sincerest thoughts... Moral 3: R.I.P Christohper Reeve, he lived and died with hope... Dying happy while suffering from one of the worst things that can happen to a human being, is an inspiration to us all! True superman!

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What is worse than seeing your whole family die? Leaving your wallet on the bus.

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Pavel Novak

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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