I was reading this book one time..... and my imagination took me away to many lands and times.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did Helen Keller do when she found a dead body? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's red and has wheels a red car....

thumb_up thumb_down -5

My friend Edward found a worm in his apple. Edward happened to be a lemur. Lemurs eat both plants and worms, so he ate them both.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a shoe with no laces? Stilettos, sandals, flip flops, slippers, etc...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

a woman goes to an abortion clinic, kills a baby and still leaves pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Pull over dat ass to fat, no seriously your blocking a firelane

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Hey youknow what's funny???? Jokes

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Q: A Blonde and a Brunette fall of a building which one hits the ground first? A: The Brunette because she ways 200 pounds and the Blonde weighs 100.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats worse the people posting real jokes on (Anti Jokes)? 911

thumb_up thumb_down -11

When a suicide-bomber went to heaven what did Allah give him apart from 72 virgins? 72 mothers in law.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her what her name is

thumb_up thumb_down +15

12

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? How did the chicken get out of the henhouse?

thumb_up thumb_down

Add William Wright On Facebook Answer- www.facebook.com/public/William-Wright

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What did the toy cowboy say to the man? Nothing, toys can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why couldn't John play soccer? Because he was arrested for being black.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because a fridge hit him.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between a Mexican and a T-Rex? There are certainly innumerable differences, but, in general, humans are vertebrates belonging to the Mammalia class, chiefly a member of the species Homo sapiens; dinosaurs are chiefly terrestrial, herbivorous or carnivorous reptiles from the extinct orders Saurischia and Ornithischia.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down +120

Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops