Roses are red violets are blue, I more do like pink like the holes are in you.

Q: How do you know if you have had too much to drink? A: When you find a bloody hole where your kidney is.

What's worse than a dead baby falling out of a tree? Two dead babies stapled together falling out of a tree.

identical jokes get different votes.

Your mom is absolutely pefect. This makes me love HIM.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

A:Whats the air speed velocity of a swallow? B:What an african or English swallow? A:Well I don't know that.

What do you call a lepucaun leaping in a feild of flowers, on christmas? Ground beef.

LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette was stranded on a deserted island. A genie appeared and said nothing, because genies doesn't exist

Why did the boy not eat his ice cream? He was addicted to self afflicting. The blood from one of his newer slashes oozed out on the cone which being wafer slowly got soggy. At this point the ice cream slid out of the cone as it was soggy and as he went to eat it, he found an abssence of ice cream. After this unprecedented occurance he gave up with his self harming, so all was good.

Justin Beiber

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

What's a Jew's favorite food? You would have to ask on an individual basis because it is unfair to say that all Jew's have the same favorite food

what is the difference between Rick Perry and Lindsay Lohan? it only takes Lindsay 4 1/2 hours to finish a sentance.

What do you call a blond in a library? A girl that likes to read.

One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

Why did the family at dinner not tip the waiter? He was mean and spat in their food.

how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his whole family

ask me if i'm a tree are you a tree? No.

If she is old enough to bleed, she probably uses tampons.

what do you call a half dead black person crawling across your lawn..............................stop laughing and reload

What did the blonde say to the priest? Probably something stupid due to the fact that she's blonde.

scenario: retarded monkey upside down in a mirror question: why is jims dad fat answer: the mexican chicken is an aperadus

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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