Knock-knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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What's worse than having the name Riley Bathurst? being shot in the head by a black guy.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What's worse than losing the remote Finding it in your ass hole

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how do you kill a baby? introduce it to alice cooper

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Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she is a woman.

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So I saw my asian friend at the beach on a really sunny day, so I said hi.

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A man walks into a man walks into a man walks into a man.

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A: Knock, knock. B: Who's there? The writer of this joke had no idea how to end this.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

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What did the midget say to the leprechaun? Nothing.....midgets don't usually converse with leprechauns....and leprechauns aren't real.

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Why did the old man fall off his bicycle? Because somebody threw a fridge at him.

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omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

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Guess what? Random shit. Why? Because almost nobody looks at the newest jokes to realize that 99.999% of jokes that just say random shit never get above the 0 mark.

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what is the difference between a banana and an orange? bread.

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Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because Se7en was a scary movie!

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Do you want to hear a racist joke? I hate black people...

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Do you know why one side of the V formation that geese fly in is longer than the other? Because there's more geese on that side.

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Q: What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A: A blue plastic bag in the wind.

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women's rights

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why did the boys run from Michael Jackson? because they thought he was a ghost

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why did oprah, your mother, and a monkey on a rock have in common? the ability to fornicate

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Friends are a lot like trees... ...they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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