What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant scorpion.

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Why can't Micheal J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because there is no such person as Micheal J. Fox. Michael J. Fox, on the other hand, cannot draw a perfect circle because he has Parkinson's disease.

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Why did people run from the chicken? Because they didnt want to get bit by the chicken

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You know what's a real drag? A club foot

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The

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Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like cows, Cows are cool

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Why did the plane crash? The Pilot Wash a Loaf of Bread

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roses are red violets are blue you're an orphan, had to break the news...sorry little fella.

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Get the FREE anti jokes app with loads and loads of anti jokes anywhere you go, even offline! All the funniest and most popular, and loads more new ones. Why not? After all, it's free! http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/hilarious-anti-jokes-lite/id438092279?mt=8&ls=1

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What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

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whats blue and fluffy ? Blue fluff

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You know whats funny? Things that aren't listed here.

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Knock knock Who's there? A ghost A ghost who?

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Person 1: I have one question: What are those?!?!?!?!?! Person 2 : Their shoes you Dimwit. Person 1: (runs away crying) -by Mekkhi

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Q. what is the most amazing animal in the world? A. MULLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

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Why was the girl talking to the trashcan? Her entire family was killed in a forest fire. She was the only who made it out but she had several scars and burns. For six years she had no family to talk to. She then gathered an obnoxious amount of cheaply made plastic trashcans and painted her entire family on the trashcan and proceeded to talk to it. For several years now she has been in deep conversation with the trashcan. She then attempted to ask the trashcan a series and intense question in which the trashcan did not respond to. The girl grew very frustrated with the trashcan because it did not answer her question so she angrily threw it off the side of a cliff in the middle of the woods. To answer the question above, as the trashcan was violently falling off the cliff, the girl yelled, "See you next FALL"

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Q: how do you get a girl with one arm to fall out a tree? Wave and wait for her to wave back.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and deaf, and to put her behind the wheel of a motorized vehicle would be extremely dangerous.

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What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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