What do you call a piece grass just mowed. A black person.

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what is chuck norris's favorite food? lasagna.

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Why did the wiener dog fight the cock. Because it was a cock-fight.

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Those who believe that Sarah Palin is dumb are living in some fantasyland. She could damn well speak as much as anyone else!

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Q:What's the difference ethernet a corvette and a pile of dead baby's? A:I don't have a corvette in my garage

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Is this the krusty krab? No, this is Patrick

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A girl is talking with her boyfriend - God, you're selfish!!! - No, i sell meat.

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because 7 is black.

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Knock Knock! F*ck off

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What did I wake upto this morning that was white , cold and 2 inches deep? My tiny flaccid penis.

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Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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Why did the elephant not do 9/11? Because he drank a hispanic turtle.

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Why did the ginger cross the road? To tell the police that her family had been taken hostage.

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Why did litltle Susie drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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What Do You Call The White House When Obama Is President? What? The White House.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? Not Madeleine McCann.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? They were my friends.

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haikus are easy but sometimes they make no sense refrigerator

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Chuck Norris walks into a bank. There is a long line to get to the teller. Chuck Norris waits patiently in line.

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what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

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what is the difference betweeb 69 and 77? 8

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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