How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

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Why is the light always red? Because the city has been in an economic depression and does not have the money to fix the traffic light's.

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"How come the week takes so long but the weekend goes by so fast" "Because there are five days in the week and two in the weekend"

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What is the worse joke to tell a Orpahn Knock Knock Whos there not your parents

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's cheese.

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Why does life hand you lemons? Because it sucks enough, so it wants you to have some.

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What is a dyslexic mathematician's favourite song? Angels. [L]

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Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

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Why did the little girl's pet bunny pass away? Because her neighbor ripped out it's vitals.

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Why, if you are blending a baby, should you put it in feet first? So you can look in to it's eyes when masturbating.

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How do you kill a blonde? There are countless ways to complete such a task all of which have infinite variations.

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What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

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Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

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whats worse than hitler? Anti-Jokes By darragh hamilton

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Why couldn't the black man get his lawnmower to start? He was too poor to own a home =)

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are yellow Azeleas are pinkish purple

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Why didnt the guy knok on the door Because the door was open to begin with

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Q: Why is the Universe so big? A: Because it is the same size as my penis.

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"I know it. I can feel it in my nuggets." -Chicken Joe

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How can you make a little boy tell the truth? Threaten to murder his family.

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ey can i pick your scabs plzz

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what did the girl said to the stalker? i dont know cuz if i did, i would be a stalker

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Whats blue and fuzzy? blue fuzz.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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