What's clear on the outside and grey on the inside? An elephant in a plastic bag.

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What did the carrot say when he was Chopped. Auch.

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

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Dear Rubix Cube, DONE!! Sincerely, Colorblind

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One day a black man, a white man, and an Asian man decide to bet on who has the longest penis. The white man wins by 1/18th of an inch, effectively disproving the stereotype. They all go home a little gayer for the experience.

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? I got feathers stuck in my cars grill

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Your momma's so stupid, she threw out all the W's in the m&m's packet

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What do u call two mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan!

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What do you call a fat jew? A person that most likely has an eating problem and needs to seek help from the nearest rabbi

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A blind man accidentally walks into another man whilst walking along a sidewalk. The man yells at the blind man, "Watch where you're going!" He then apologizes for his rude behaviour, not noticing right away he was in fact, blind. To show how truthfully sorry he was he took him out for beers the following evening. Soon after they became close friends and now share an apartment in Denver, Colorado.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to get the waffle ice cream cone that was on the ground next to the little child who got hit by a bus.

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What did casey anthony say when the ruled her as not guilty? "yay"

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Man walks in the bar then buys a drink

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2 nuns in the bath, One says "wears the soap" the other says "Over there, next to the shampoo"

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Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

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Why are there so many jokes about germans on Anti-Joke? Because the Germans epitomize the flavour of anti-jokes perfectly and they have the whole nazi history thing going on which is ripe ground for many an anti-joke

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Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

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A guy walks up to a midget and he says: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

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What's a lil plus a lot A little more then a lot

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Why can't the dinosaur eat M&M's? He is dead. He used to rule the Earth 65 Million years ago, though. Dinosaurs are reptiles. Whales are not. Meow?

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Why didn't the priest move in with the two rabbi? Because having three adults between the ages of 18 and 65 occupying the dwelling would have violated their insurance policy.

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Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

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What do you call a person trying to save his interprise from partaking in a financial collapse by binging on alcohal? An alcoholic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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