"What's wrong?" "I can't fap." "Why not?" "Because I saw your face."

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What happened to the boy who crossed the road without looking both ways? He was abducted by aliens.

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Q: what animal didnt get on Noah's ark in pairs? A: worms. they got on in apples.

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you will die someday

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The pizza guy. Your pizza's here.

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I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this dock and it makes me wana quack like what the hell is THAT!

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Lightning strikes 2 year old baby.

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There's two sausages in a pan.. One says "Wow it's hot in here" The other says... "agrhhh a talking sausage"

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Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

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What does Malcolm X think about when hes horny? Sex!

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Whats 9 plus 10? 19

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What did one hostage say to the other hostage? Hrmfhrmfphmfr

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You poker face.

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What is white, red, and all in your girlfriend? red and white blood cells

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Smelly Indians.

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Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

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A man walks into a doctor's office, he pees in a cup and is diagnosed with diabetes.

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why was the dog barking?? bryan is a douche..... get it troupe.

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You know what's funny with rape? Nothing. It's horror.

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When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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There once was a man named Steve. One day, Steve stumbled stupidly, shredding his shirt, shoes and shorts and subsequently shocking Susie; a small shy salsa student. When he arrived home, Steve's wife asked "how was your day dear?" Steve panicked at the thought of having to explain this traumatic event, but thankfully he had undergone speech therapy for his lisp.

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What's white and yellow with red all over? Vietnam War

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What is worse than a bunch of babies stapled to a tree? A bunch of trees stapled to a baby.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? What? I don't have a Corvette in my garage Wanna hear something gross? Sure. 1 at the bottom is still alive. Wanna hear something grosser? Yea. It's eating its way out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops