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Why didnt the cannibal like the taste of the comedian? because the comedian smelled very bad and the cannibal forgot to add salt.

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You:why did the kid get a massage? Guest:Why? You:Cuz he wanted one.

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What does a Jewish man do when he sees a new car? Doesn't buy it because he puts his money in a fund.

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Whats worse than your shoe being untied? 911

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Doctor, doctor, it hurts when I hit my head with a hammer!! Dont hit your head with a hammer anymore.

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What do you call a successful black man who owns millions? Either a criminal or a fictional character.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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Why did i drink 4 sodas? Because i was thirsty

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What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shih-tzu? Dogs are large and solid objects and therefore cannot be mixed together.

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why did u fart to loud? because you butt said so

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't

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What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

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What do you get when you watch Cinderella backwards? A woman who learns her place.

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An asian loses to you in starcraft..

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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How do you get really high at home? You climb a ladder

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Why did the princess kiss the frog? She really wanted a wart.

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What do you do when you're making out with your girlfriend? Play with another dude's ass.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Tourettes Kid. Touret- FUCK SHIT!

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how do you stop a baby from crawling in circles??????? you nail its other hand to the floor

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You're flying above the Kansas Ocean, you lose your brakes and have to paddle all the way to shore. How many dogs can you fit on a carousel? Blue, because Ice Cream is cold.

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What has 3 legs? An abnormal human.

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What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops