You tie a noose around your neck, you jump off a cliff and before you hit the ground you shoot yourself in the head.

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Whats better than giving birth to a disabled son? A Blowjob

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When life gives you lemons, you throw them at your friends. If they throw them back, duck

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What do you call a boy with one eye and no arms. -Mean names.

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I Never apologize, I'm sorry, that's just me

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Why did the homeless man steal food from the local grocery store? He had not eaten in three days and was forced to steal or risk possible starvation.

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There's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman. They are all trapped in a jail cell. Eventually they all starved to death.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges can't talk therefore this is not a accurate accusation.

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Why did the garbage man cross the road? He was doing his job.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Matthew Baker

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How do you make Jacob cry? Take away his xbox

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What's Black, white, green, and red? To bloody zebras fighting over a pickle

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a man and a woman are standing at a bar. they have a few drinks and then go home and die.

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Why do people go on this site? They have no friends and no lives.

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The Jewish boy asks his dad for 50 dollars His dad says " 40 dollars? what do you need 30 dollars for? "

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Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

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What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

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Three blonds walk into a bar ... They said ouch!

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What do people call baby cats in Alabama? Kittens.

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Conscience. Conscience who? Oh, sorry about that Hitler, you wouldn't know who I am.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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What would happen if an unstoppable object hit and unmovable object? I don't know, I was just wondering

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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