Roses are red, Violets are blue, STDs are contagious. Careful who you screw!

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i woke up in the middle of the night and my entire bed was wet... know what i did? i layed a towel down and went back to sleep

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Q. What did Michael Jackson say to the banana? A. Nothing, he's dead.

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Why did Billy Bob kidnap Jamal? Because he finds the African American community fascinating and is unable to start up a regular conversation due to the over-amplified stereotype that rednecks usually kidnap and/or kill black people. Therefore, kidnapping Jamal was necessary so that he could have a conversation with him about his heritage and background.

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what did the guy think who woke up with his hands and feet nailed to a barn. IS THIS BECAUSE IM BLACK!

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James walks into a room he then leaves as the room is full of hot women but he does not find them attractive as he has a girlfriend and is also bisexual.

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why did Timmy fall off the the slide? he was hit by a plane why was Jimmy laughing? he watched Timmy get hit by the plane

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What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

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knock knock? who's there? ted? ted who? stop f***ing around, you got cancer.

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how big is a midgets dick? i dont know but probably bigger then mine

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knock, knock whos there? steve steve who? steve johnson hi steve

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What do you call a woman who can't walk? A paraplegic.

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What does a blonde's vagina taste like? The same as her brain, cabbage

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What do a book and a tractor have in common? Both are for driving, except the book.

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Once upon a time There was an ugly barnacle He was so ugly That everyone died The end!

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How did the guy who's been in his mothers basement for 20 years lose his virginity? He didn't, that's where his mother hid his body.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, he was hit by a car. I lied about him crossing the road.

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A Catholic, a Protestant, and a Jew are stranded in the middle of the ocean on a raft. They all die of dysentery.

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A man is jogging down the street. He bangs his kneecap into a metal pole and shatters it. He is then hit by a giant cheese wheel and dies.

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A jewish man walks into a bar, has a drink, and goes home to his wife.

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Three french men are in the car wearing sombreros. They're trying to get to Disney World.

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there once was a man named china who got stuck in yo mamas vagina he escaped through her butthole minus her butt mole and then died a horrible and painful death

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why did the mexican beat your ass larry clark III because you live in a apartment with your mom and dad who are black your dad has a truck your mom recked her car

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your so fat. your fat!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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