If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on.

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Why John isn't smiling? Becouse he died yesterday

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why did the chicken cross the road??? I don't know, that's why I asked you -_-

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asking someone to check ur broken wing mirror to fall into that persons arms by accident is not a good idea

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Q. How can you tell if your arm is broken? A. Break it.

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Yo moma so fat, it ain't even funny. Seriously. She is suffering real diabetes! Do you know how that feels? I though so...

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What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

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Why was the little boy sad Because he has depression from his father beating him over and over every time he comes home from school...

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Your Mommy is a gas pump.

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What did the cat say to another ? meow

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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Yo momma is so fat... Her body mass is above average.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? I didn't do it right.

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John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

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Why did the black man get fired? In this economy businesses are downsizing and outsourcing jobs for cheaper labor.

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Why was the man running? He needed to get somewhere fast.

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'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a cannibal and like to burn people.

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whats long and green? weed

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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1: Knock, knock 2: Go away!

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Why did my ex-husband get fired from the m&m factory? He was throwing away all the W's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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