What's the difference between a blonde and a carrot? One's a human, the other's a vegetable.

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What do you call a black scuba diver... A scuba diver.

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What did the biscuit say when he saw his friend get run over? Oh my god. Dave, are you ok? Somebody call an ambulance.

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What's the difference between an orange and a dead baby? One is a popular citrus fruit commonly grown in Florida, and the other is a horrible tragedy, possibly caused by miscarriage or a serial killer, who was hopefully immediately jailed for his actions.

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How do you make a person laugh? Tell a good joke How do you make them cry? Tell a sad story How do you make them cry and laugh at the same time? Tell a bad joke

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What do you call someone who kills black people? A hero.

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How do you kill a baby? You don't muder is a sin and against the law

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How to make a plummer cry Kill his family

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What's red and sticky A DEAD BABY

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-Whats not funny and has wheels? >What? -The Holocaust... I was lying about the wheels

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Why did hitler kill the Jews? Because he had sever mental illnesses and anyone who thinks the holocaust is funny deserves to die a slow death.

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a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

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Why did the tree fall? I cut it.

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A seal walks into a club.

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Why did the baby bird have no friends? Because he chose not to socialize with the baby birds.

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If I have 12 backpacks and Jimmy has 91 pancakes, then how many marshmallows can cover the roof of this building? Purple. Because Aliens don't wear hats.

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Why is the horny toad named that way? Because its a misnomer of the horned lizard.

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Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued, he asked: ‘Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?’ ‘No, your Highness,’ he replied, ‘but my father was.

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I forgot how the joke starts but the punchline goes something something something your moms a slut.

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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Q: Why are Dino-Nuggets so good? A: Because they are nuggets in the shape of dinosaurs.

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Why did alfred crap his pants? because he had downs

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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