A man walks into a bar After months of rehab he is giving in to his drinking abuse again and will ruin his life as well as his family

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if life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians

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What do a boat and a computer have in common? Nothing

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what happens if you set micheal jackson on fire nothing he is 6 feet under incased in concrete if he wasnt hed melt

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Dory from Finding Nemo: "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy- Hey, I just met you."

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Why was the protester tied to a tree? They were tired of him protesting.

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A man named Carl walks into a bar and sees another man named Ed who has purple skin and is holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other. Carl approaches Ed and asks, "Why is your skin purple and why are you holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other?" Ed replies stating, "Well its actually a pretty funny story. I was sailing near cape cod and a saw a large whale jump out of the water, and that gave me a really good idea. So I sailed home immediately and wrote a very detailed novel about my days in Vietnam. The book was a success and I was able to make a large amount of money. However, unfortunately I became addicted to cocaine and wasted all of my money and had to live on the streets. Since then, I have cleaned up my act and am working again and have a house. I decided to treat myself to a night out and so I came here and painted myself purple. Then, I found this chinchilla and policeman's helmet on the floor and decided to hold onto it until I find the owner. Now that I think about it, that story isn't very funny. I apologize." Carl then accepted the apology and the two had a drink together and are still good friends today.

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Whats the thing you least expect to find on Anti-Joke? A joke with a punchline.

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Kidding, not trucing, Dylan sucks prick. Brock likes his mums butt.

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Whats red, green, and goes 60 mph? A frog in a blender.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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What did Jack give Jill for Christmas? Herpes.

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What do you tell a black man walking down the street with a suspicious look to him. Hey, how's it going?

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Roses are red Violets are blue If i gave a rats ass I'd worry about you

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Why had the father left his family. Because he was tired of dancing in a circle.

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Why did the book disappear?

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stuarts mum

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what do you call a Puerto Rican with no arms? Trust worthy

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civil rights

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Your mama's so fat.... I ran around her twice, And got lost

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a white guy They both have different skin color

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what's funnier then 15? definitely not 14

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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