Why did the cow hail a taxi? Because cows can't drive.

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How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar... They then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, harmony and understanding between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, they truly can coexist, and decide to pursue peace among one another and the rest of society.

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You have 37 candy bars and you give your friend 12. What is the square route of the sun? Yes

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Why did the little boy viciously slash the orange object with a carving knife? Because it was Halloween.

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Why is justin bieber gay? because he is attracted to men

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Some home health supplies. He really needed them, too.

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so a guy walks into a bar, he says nothing for he now has a concusion

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why did the sock go to kroger cause he was laying on the couch

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is killing is family.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm Scizophrenic And so am I.

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A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears, realizing that his life as he knew it is over, and recognizing the horrible burden he is about to become on his family, both financially and emotionally.

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A bar walks into a man. The drink orders a bartender. And then the money walks home. End The.

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Dad: sussy, do you know how you were made? Sussy: No, how? Dad: With this DICK!!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your other apple.

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You you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you. Way do go lazy you didn't read all the you's so you didn't realize there was a yoo in there. But now you realize there aren't any yoo's there way to go.

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What the diffrence between a jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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A white guy, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a hispanic guy are standing before a cliff. They proceeded to take lovely pictures.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes now you do too.

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What is grosser than somebody eating their own booger? Someone else eating that persons booger

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What's worse than 13 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 13 trees...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, Who gives a shit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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