why did the donkey kick the men bc he tryed to pen the tail on hes ass

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

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Q: Why was the blonde in a black car? A: Becasue the car was a herse and she was killed a week before in an accident where the other driver was drunk Becasue his wife had left him with no money and no kids to come home to.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died! Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey!!

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if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 10 dollars you would have 5 dollars more than Chuck Norris

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What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? " I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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In Soviet Russia..... the exact same thing happens, stupid.

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Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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Teacher: which vegetable makes your eyes water? Student: Any vegetable. Teacher: How? Student: Just rub any vegetable in your eyes and see what happens.

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Why did the bird fall down? It got shot.

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock-eater

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An Irishman, Scotsman and Englishman were jumping into well because they were told whatever they shouted when they fell they landed on. I lied and they died, hehe

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What would George Washington do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

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What's red and green and goes around and around? A frog in a blender

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Once upon a time, there was a pair of headphones. It loved the sound of music.

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Why did the Italian family have spaghetti for dinner? Thats the only thing they had in the house

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Q: How many light bulbs does it take to change a blonde? A: One, if she tries to swallow it.

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Hitler: Ve shud vork togeza and place stategic bombs overr your island. Castro: You are dead.

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What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

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Can you guess what one black child got while passing through an all-white neighborhood in the middle of the night? Home safely.

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What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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