What do you call a black man working for Bank of America? A successful individual.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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oh hiya come in

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Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

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Q:John has 50 candy bars and he eats 45, what does john have? A: Diabetes

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knock knock who's there? no one... your lonely so you hear things

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What was the woman doing in the kitchen? Investigating a murder..

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What's Green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

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Roses are gray, violets are gray. I'm color blind.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

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What gas station can u make a Kwick trip at? Kwick trip

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Why did the woman walk into the men's clothing store? She's a lesbian. Why did the man walk into the womens clothing store? He had to buy his mom a birthday present.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Roses are red...

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What do you call a naked black person? A black guy

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Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? genocide whats worse than genocide? getting raped by a giant scorpion

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so how about that irline food

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A girl hands her boyfriend her phone and says it's his dad. He throws it on the ground exclaiming, "My dad's not a phone, duh!"

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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whats worse that 3 black guys dieing in a train accident .... one was ur brother the other was gay

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"One fish, two fish, red fish, the holocost." -Dr. Seuss

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Iceland is actually green and Greenland is actually icy and Germany started the Holocaust.

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Why did the elephant climb the tree? Because he didn't want to tie his shoe.

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Why is little Susie crying? Her entire family is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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