How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

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whats worse than war? being tied to a chair and watch your parents die.

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Your life

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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The chicken crossed the road and died. The end.

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What did the lemon say to the turtle? If you think the lemon said anything, something is wrong with you.

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How's your mum? she's dead..

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Ask me for £1000 Can I have £1000 No get a job

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because he didn't have a face

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Why did the dog lick the boy's leg? Cause when the boy blew up his leg landed in the doghouse

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 went to war and when he came back, he was really messed up. One day he took 2 into a dark alley and beat him up really badly. Now, it's not just 6 who is afraid, but everyone.

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What's worse than eating brussel sprouts? Getting raped by a brussel sprout.

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What's the difference between a woman and a cat? Numerous things

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what did the pornography filmer say to the asain man as he was having sex? im taking a highly pixelated recording of you and your partner engaging in sexual intercourse

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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Why did a guy with a lisp, v-neck, and piercings pee while sitting down? His joints hurt.

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Whats more fun than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

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What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs sitting on a bench? Nothing. Why would you harrass a guy with no arms and no legs.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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How do you stop an oncoming bus? You push a stroller in front of it.

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Why were 50 police officers in the supermarket? A tsunami had struck and they were cleaning out hundreds of bodies

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What is the best game in the world? There is no answer because that would be an opinion and opinions cannont be proved or measured.

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A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops