Why did the sloth cross the road To fuck your gay cousin

thumb_up thumb_down +17

"You've got a lot of C in your body." said the doctor. Jimmy replied with glee: "Ah that's great news, vitamin C is.." "No you've got Hepatitis C, you'll be dead within a month."

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What was the little boy doing in the deep end of the swimming pool? Drowning.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is black and burns really well? charcoal.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the best way to piss off a feminist? R@pe her.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Jacob went onto anti-jokes cause Brock told him to and Jacobs his bitch.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

who should be competing in the paralympics? Brent the retard!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a man with a limp? A limping man.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar, they manage to have a delightful evening, despite their religious differences.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

koj yog ib tug tsoob qaib eater, uas nyiam mus rau Peer li qub poj niam qhov chaw mos raws li ib tug nyiam ua! (Google Translate may help)

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?? It got shot Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's worse than a pile of dead babies? The one at the bottom is alive. What's worse than that? He's eating his way out. What's worse than that? He came back for seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A bartender walks up to a church and a synagogue

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Someone once told me a joke. It was funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

press a,s,d,f,g,h,j,k,l feel like a pianist

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops