Hi

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What did the homeless guy say to the not-homeless guy? I'm homeless.

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What is a chicken? Because 7, 8, 9.

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What did superman say when he flew into a building? Flying is inhumanly possible unless in an aircraft vehicle.

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Your mom is so fat that she is at risk for type two diabetes.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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What is big, eats cats, smells good, but looks like shit? A big, cat eating, good smelling piece of shit

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why do they call it history? Women didn't do shit

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c+t+c?

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How many fingers does Charlie Sheen have? 8. and 2 thumbs. just like most everybody else.

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What goes in your mouth long and hard, and comes out soft and sticky? A stick of bubblegum.

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Whats green has four legs and would kill you if it fell from a tree. Pool Table.....

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with Nickelodon? You get Dora because she is allways telling you what to do.

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whats black? a black man

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Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

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Turkey Balls

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What do you call a dead black person? A corpse.

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Q:How do you know if you have a big enough oven? A: If the jew fits

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Why did mallisa get to go to the bar instead of jeremy... jeremy has prostate cancer and he needs to be examined every 2 1/2 minuites plus he's 7 years old.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

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Jeff was a very hard working accountant, after a very long day he drove to burger king, he looked up at the menu and said to the lady. I'll have a burger please.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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