Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How did they wake up Lady Gaga? They p-p-poked her face p-p-poked her face......!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the difference between an elephant and a Jew. The elephant has elephant cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two solely on her hair color, proceeds to kill them with a single shot glass. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q. who's george porchy?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Two elephants are walking down the street. They have already killed 12 people including 11 children and their foster parent.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A Native American walks into a casino. He wants to invest a protion of his earnings from his fortune 500 company into it because he believes it to be a profitable venture.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Q.) What did the young child of a highly idiosyncratic family do when he heard the fire-alarm going off unexpectedly in his house? A.) He started to panic since he hadn't received any portions of formal insturction in the art of, "Stop, drop and roll", prior to the moment of the lamentable catastrophe. I think that we should blame his parents/teachers immediately... *Sigh*

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why was sally the best at hid and go seek they couldn't find her body

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Hi? No!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Continents are large islands.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red Violets are blue S*** is brown and so are you

thumb_up thumb_down -34

how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the beaver cross the road? To meet Justin Bieber!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the homless man get for Christmas? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the Asian say to the Mexican working at the friutstand? Hi, I'm Asian!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

SOY COMO SOY Y ME ENCANTA SI NO ME VALORAS ESE ES TU PEDO

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what happen to the popo who got arrested? he told himself that he had the right to remain silent

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops