Women. Can't live with them. Can't systemically murder them without compromising the reproductive integrity of the species.

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"I just don't understand the difference between yours and mines." "Well, you see, yours belong to you, whereas mines explode when you step on them."

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I wont vouch for anybody right now, but nobody I know would attack anyone, I know I can be overly sensitive at times, but its not fun anymore, stop that.

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When u outside and the suns out.....stand under raysean u will see a solar eclispe

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An airplane's engine suddenly blows up in the middle of its flight. The pilot turns around and sees a blonde and a brunette. He turns to his right and sees only two parachutes. The pilot says "Ok guys, only two-" Then the plane blows up.

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Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

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Children and bretheren, stinky cheese Stinkyy cheeeese. Like this or you will smell stinky cheese in your bedroom

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Do you know what has always angered me about people not choosing to control their own lives Nero?

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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Q: What's worse than a paper cut? A: 9/11

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

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Why did the girl drop her vannlia ice cream? Vannlia Ice punched her for being cool as ice.

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Why did Bruno Mars explode? He caught a grenade for ya.

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How do you make a Russian baby cry? Punch it in the face

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whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

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Why did the long term smoker suddenly stop smoking? Because he had a heart attack.

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Who thinks amy mc quire is really stuiped

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What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

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what did the plane say to the trade center on 9/11 boom

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What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck

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A dead guy walks into a grave.

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why did little Hannah not like the poem "Roses are Red" because she was colorblind

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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Steve: Ask me if I'm a tree. John: Are you a tree? Steve: No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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