Your mom is so ugly, she suffers from severe depression and regularly contemplates suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down

when life gives you lemons... squeeze the juice into your eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

You know what's worse than having friends with a lake houses Not being invited to their lake house...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A Muslim boards a plane with his three sons. Everything goes well, because most on the plane are racially tolerant.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

It's a bird! No, it's a plane! No, it's actually a bird. You can see its wings flapping.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a homosexual in the army? A brave and honorable person who should be applauded for their service to this great nation

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A Priest, a Rabbi and an Imam were having dinner together at a local restaurant. Which caused a group of Republicans sitting nearby to ask for another table.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I love results day! for every A* I get 30 pounds! everything else I cut myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what tall and looks like a jew?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Multiple Personalities So do I Me to Don't forget about me!

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Three men, a doctor, a lawyer, and a biker were sitting in a bar talking over a few drinks. After a sip of his Martini, the doctor said, "You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I bought my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedes. I figure if she doesn't like the diamond ring, then at least she will like the Mercedes, and she will know that I love her." After finishing his scotch, the lawyer said, "Well, on my last anniversary, I bought my wife a string of pearls and a trip to the Bahamas. I figured if she didn't like the pearls, then at least she would have enjoyed the trip, and she would have known that I loved her." The biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said, "Yeah, well for my anniversary, I got my old lady a t-shirt and a vibrator. I figured if she didn't like the t-shirt, then she could go f*** herself."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the car's airbag go off? He hit a boy eating his ice cream

thumb_up thumb_down +17

colby doesnt shave

thumb_up thumb_down +39

An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why was 6 afraid of 12? Because 12 used to beat up 6 and now 6 has a restraining order against 12. 12 has to stay at least 5 numbers away from 6.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Yo mama's so fat that after her enima, she looked skinny and rather nice

thumb_up thumb_down -10

ask me if im a tree are you a tree? yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, You Have A Face That Belongs At The Zoo, Don't Worry I'll Be There With You, Not In The Cage But Laughing At You!!! :D

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's black, white, black, white, black, white, and red? A horse with it's heard chopped off.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many blondes does is take to screw a man? one and a condem

thumb_up thumb_down +24

among liedbtt is my Captcha code

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops