Whet doesn't kill you, probably will next time.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the difference between a large pizza and a Mexican? A large pizza can feed a family.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the worst part about censorship? **** *** **** **** *** **** *** ********.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you get when you cross an owl with a bunge cord? My ass!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

WHART++EWEEEEEEEP FLARPEN CARPEN FLARP

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the boy with cancer cross the road? He was hoping to get hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a horse with bread on its ears? Boris, because that's his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They all had different colors of hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

There was a mexican and a african in a car, who was driving? The cop, because both of these men are rapists.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

(SPOILER ALERT) The following are a few punchlines: "I didn't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck!" "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks!" "Hold on buddy, I'm about to save you $10,000" "To get to the other side!" "Because 7, 8, 9!" "She had no arms!" "A fridge!" "I don't have Ferrari in my garage!" "The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go!" "And if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college!" "It was stapled to the chicken!" "I proved it to him." "The holocaust" "Red paint" "A stick." "I wished for a big orange head." "No." "A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being." "A pilot." "The papa tomato steps on him and says ketchup." "You left your engine running!" "That's what she said." "TV watches you!" "I think so Brain, but where will we get that many cucumbers at this time of night?" "Rectum? Damn near killed him!" "One but it takes two episodes and the bald guy dies."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to call animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Little Jimmy cross the road? Little Jimmy doesnt have arms and legs, silly, he cant cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happenswhen a geman shepard jumps into a lake? it gets wet

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the accountant sad? He just watched his wife have consensual sex with another man.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Phil Krahn cross the road? Because he is gay

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you make a salesperson cry? Shoot him in the face and throw him off a cliff

thumb_up thumb_down -10

whats harder than watching a dog get hit by a bus? my boner..

thumb_up thumb_down -44

How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops