How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? You don't call him anything... You call for help.

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just imagine like a whole mark no imagine like 1000 marks an army of marks ready to conquer

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Two Jewish kids walked into a bar... mitzvot.

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roses are red that fact is true but violets are violet not fu***** blue

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Why did the kid eat his homework because the teacher said it was a piece of cake

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In Opposites Land, you might think the opposite of small is big. But no, it's nail clippers.

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Q - What's the difference between a Park Bench and a Black Man ? A - The Park Bench can support a family.

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Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

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Two muslims walk into the bar, Everybody continues with their daily lives. One should not be judged by their race or religion as all humans on earth are as equal as one another and should be treated the same way..... And then the building blew up.

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What do u call two mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan!

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boy: you want to hear something funny? girl: what? boy: women's rights girl: you want to hear something trivial? boy: what? girl: your penis

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You might be a redneck if you are an individual a part of a low social caste in a predominately rural area such as the southern part of the United States or a mountainous area such as the Appalachians or Ozarks who may or may not partake in stereotypical activities such as hunting, fishing or farming And who also lives in possibly degraded living conditions.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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Why did the black man skip every other step on the stairs? Because he had long legs and it was faster.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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Your mom is so black that her skin tone is darker than most people

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Not only did 7 have that intimidating look to him, but 6 had recently found out that he was a well known mob boss who also went by the name of Lucky Seven. he was in charge of a gang called The Prime Numbers. They had been terrorizing 6's city for sometime now, whether it was stealing, mugging, or even killing or vandalism. 6 sure had a lot to fear, but he knew things might turn out well, as 6 had a great ability to try his best and do what he believed in: Justice

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Why did the Russian take a boat ride? Well this isn't possible because we all know that in Soviet Russia, boat ride you.

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You know what pansies remind me of? What? A flower

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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"Jim would you like to share what you've written?" says rehab counselor "Roses are red, Violets are blue, Heroin is bad, I see sound."

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When life gives you melons. You're not dyslexic because you can probably tell the difference between a lemon and melon because they look so different.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding an apple in your pet worm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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