I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

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Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead. Why did the second Koala fall off the tree? Cause it was also dead. Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? It thought the other two were playing a game. Why did the motorcyclist end up in the hospital? He was attacked by falling Koalas!

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A deaf lion tried to kill a zebra. It succeeded.

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Chuck Norris is a normal man.

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what can't see and has four eyes? a blind kid born with four eyes

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These jokes don't have punchlines.

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your momma is so old, she has heart problems

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What did Tarzan say to the elephant?... "Hi elephant." A few weeks later, the elephant had grown a mustache and gotten a pair of sunglasses. What did Tarzan say to him then?... Nothing, he didn't recognize him.

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did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? he's all right now

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Write Your Own Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Enter the following: Which is bigger the moon or the elephant? Your Answer: The elephant [] I have read and agree to the Terms of Service ((((Submit)))) [1 error prohibited this post from being saved] ---There were problems with the following field -> Wrong answer

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how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

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How long would it take for a clock to reach 12 It depends on which 12 it is going to land on and which time zone you are in but yet most clocks are not correct so it is very hard to tell

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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"Welcome to Mcdonalds, Would you like to try our new Chicken BigMac today?" "No"

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Why did the woman call 911? Fire.

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If life gives you melons, you have dyslexia.

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what did the dead man say to the other dead man ...nothing he's dead.

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What is black and white and red all over? A road killed zebra.

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Why couldn't the dinosaur sing? Because dinosaurs are extinct

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Two girls are backpacking in the Sierra Nevada. They walk 8 km from their base camp at a bearing of 42 degrees. After lunch, they document the wildlife they have seen because they are tracking the populations of species native to the area. Then they continue on their hike, but this time at a bearing of 127 degrees. After 5 km, they reach their destination for the day and set up a temporary camp.

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HEY YOU!!! just checking for assholes

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Your mom is so poor that she can't even pay attention.

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what do you call a million black people on the moon? a good start

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken was locked in a cage and the nearest intersection is about a mile away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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