While driving at night, a man accidently runs down a young child. Devastated, he runs out of the car and begins to break down. He screams up at the sky "Why God? Why?". And God says nothing, because he's not real.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

if your were a slu* what would you do dance on a pole or get a tattoo

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Hey i just raped you and this is crazy so delete my number and keep the baby

thumb_up thumb_down -36

So there's a man named Moses. He prays to God for a donkey to transport him from Bethlahem to Jerusalem. God granted his wish. God said" To make the donkey go, you must say Hallelujah. To make it stop you say Go". Moses rode off happily. Suddenly the donkey went off trail and was headed towards a steep cliff. Moses kept saying stop, stop, stop. He remembered what God had said, and had said Go. They stopped one inch before falling down. Moses thanked the lord and said " Thank You Jesus, Hallelujah." And down they went.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why doesn't Bella like airplanes? Because her family crashed in one....

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What does a chicken get for Christmas? A trip to the processing plant.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Some peoples attempts at being funny on this website are the stupidest things i have ever read.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have 5 Fingers The Middle One's For You!! :D

thumb_up thumb_down -40

How do you help a black person find a job ? Tell them places that are hiring.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up you retarded poet!

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Spilling Dr. Pepper on your carpet

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Dinosaur!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you wake up a black man? You stab him in the thigh.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a black man that robs a bank? A bank robber

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's heavier: a kilogramme of steel or a kilogramme of feathers? A kilogramme of steel, because steel is heavier than feathers.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Knock Knock Who's there? DC Soames. I'm arresting you for the suspected abduction and rape of Holly Harman.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

thumb_up thumb_down +91

The world does not deserve our rule, it requires effort, teamwork, respect for oneself and others, tolerance, love, patience, strength, honor, loyalty... ...Face it, people do this because it is far easier to be ruled, than to rule, it is far easier to do as told, than to ask oneself what one desires with ones life. A king that suffers the burden of his people, falls of his throne, a king that enjoys the burdens of his people, creates burden, and grows as people suffer. We cannot change that, maybe we have yet to evolve to that point as humans, or maybe it is time to accept, that we have evolved past this.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops