hey whats your name Im gonna hit you so hard........ that im gonna knock your block off

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

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A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" asks the bartender. "I'm a horse, it's genetic." replied the horse, confused at the bartender's infantile understanding of evolution and other species.

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knock knock who's there greg greg who greg is crying because his grandma dementia made her forgot all about him

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Why did I get thumbs down from everyone? Answer: Because they hate my anti-joke.

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What is worse then finding a worm in your apple!? Getting raped!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I was diagnosed as criminally insane Wanna be my friend?

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" Not the best move Anne Frank ever made.

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What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

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The t rex said to the textbook ............. Im not going to read you

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Haikus are easy But they don't always make sense. Refrigerator.

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what do you call 2 walking Arabs with long beards? pedestrians.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Q: How many licks does it take to the center of a tootsie pop? A: At least one.

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Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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What did modern scientists say to Einstein? Neurtinos travel faster than the speed of light! :)

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2 men walk into a bar without thier shirts. They get kicked out. 2 women walk into a bar without thier shirts They got beaten almost to death Why? The men dressed up as women, and every hated them so much they beat the almost to death when 2 cops walk into that bar, see the men dressed up as women and they too beat them. Little do they all know that the men disguised as women are really secret goverment agents looking into a drug deal. The drug dealers got away and now we have 2 people sueing the police department and drugs on the street again. Oh yeah I almost forgot: I made this up so if you read it you're going to die withing the next 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 years. I gurantee it. If you dont the men in white coats are going to do extremely painful tests on you and you just might die so then no one will care and maybe get onto thier lives again. Why did I right this? It hasnt happened to me so I dont know If you tell me I will give you something more valueble than gold. Want to know what it is? TELL ME FIRST!!!!

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What did Batman say to Robin befor they got in the car? Get in the car.

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A joke

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knock knock whos there guy with a gun guy with a gun who guy with a gun who just shot you dammit

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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I slept with a girl with aids and now I do and so does everybody else I have sex with

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What's funnier than cancer? Just about anything. There's nothing funny about terminal illnesses.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have short-term memory loss. And roses are red.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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