what do you call a jewish ladies boob? a joob

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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Why did the beachball get sad after it was deflated? Beachballs don't have emotions.

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If life throws you melons, you might be dyslexic.

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Knock Knock! Whose there? Adolf Hitler

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Why are you a chicken? Because I say cock-a-doodle doo

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Why did Superman not stop the planes on 9/11? He was quadroplegic.

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What do u call a cripple Biv

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Why did the plane crash? Because, it's pilot was a bagel.

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Why are black people good at basketball? While there are many preternaturally gifted black men and women in professional basketball, the notion that one race holds sway over the others in terms of sheer skill and talent is a ridiculous stereotype; propagated, no doubt, by both ignorant and jealous persons of other colors.

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A man is unemployed, ugly, short, fat, smelly and stupid. That's what she said.

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"So, how's life in North Korea?" "Well, I can't complain."

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What's black and white and red all over? A Giant Panda that has been killed by poachers.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpion. What's worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant scorpions

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Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm about to kill you Don't scream, here's a lollipop

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What happens when you choke a smurf? Nothing, smurfs aren't real.

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why was little johnny crying? he had frogs stapled to his face.

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a Gay Man Walks Into A Bar And See's its Only Women In There, He Screams And Leaves

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Whats worse than the holocaust??having a downstndrome for a child

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Your momma's so fat when she walks into a restaurant she orders salad.

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What did the Asian get on his math assignment? 56%, he forgot about it and passed it in a day late with a number of questions uncompleted.

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Max who Max Who's there Knock knock I'm dyslexic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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