Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

The day the forces of light fight the forces of darkness, we will all live in darkness no matter who wins. Pure darkness will not allow you to see. Pure light will blind you.

Man: Doctor, everything I touch hurts. Doctor: Okay. Let's test it out by first touching your leg. Man: It hurts. Doctor: What about your arm? Man: It hurts as much. Doctor: What about your back? Man: It still hurts. Doctor: I see......your fingers are broken.

Roses are brown I likes clouds This joke isn't funny so don't laugh

What did the boy say after he got hit by a bus? Nothing. He's dead.

what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

Q. Why did the man crash the car? A. Because the driver was a bling man with no arms, who happened to have a psychological problem affecting his brain's ability to detect movement, thus making the car crash.

A woman walks into a bar and orders a pint of ale. "Are you a Lesbian?", joked the barman. "Yes", replied the woman.

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

What's the worste part about alzheimer's disease? You forgot you have AIDS.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

Q: What has the exact same colors as the gay flag but are sometimes hilarious? A: Clowns.

Whats red and crawls up your leg? A homesick abortion.

why did the mexican stab those people? why? he didn't you racist

What do u call a black person in your backyard? Mufasa

Two black men walk into a strip club. They immediately walk out because they have faithful wives at home nurturing their beautiful African children.

Im going to the patriots jets game this year..... When the kick a feild goal and you see two kids wearing lime green holding up a poster that says BRADY LIKES SAGGY BALLS that will be me and my friend -RT

A child rides by his mother on his bicycle and says "Look Mom, no hands!" The child doesn't come back, and night falls but he has yet to come home. His mother calls the police and a search begins 2 days later. He is never found is presumed dead.

knock knock no no you go now i clean

What's bigger than your penis? The Empire State Building.

What did the bartender say when the black man walked into the bar? Hello, what would you like to drink?

A little boy and a pedafile are walking through the forest at night. The little boy says "I'm scared." The pedafile says "You're scared? I have to walk home alone."

What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

What is the difference between a black guy and an asian? They are both black, except the asian

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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