What stops a train? A missile

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. This poem sucks. I like math!

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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what do call a car full of people on the side of the road? a cool explosion waiting to happen

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Why didn't the lactose intolerant man get a drink at the bar? He was the designated driver.

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"Ask me a question." "No" "Cheese" ... "What?"

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Who needs god when coffee is cheaper

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she is dead.

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Your mumma is so stupid her IQ is 40.

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What did the elephant say to the other elephant? We're both elephants!

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why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

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what is cooler than writing an anti joke? killing eveybody who thinks the " my garden is on fire" joke is funny

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What do a book and a tractor have in common? Both are for driving, except the book.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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what do you get if you cross a scotsman , who knows nothing about football and a indian? Blackburn rovers, and a good night out

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Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

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I Wish... I was Charlie Sheen's Dealer

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely say "Hey you, get out of the tree."

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If a man is alone in the woods and there is no one there to tell he's wrong is he right? If a tree falls on a women.... Before we tell the rest why was there a tree I the kitchen?

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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What's the difference between Mike Tyson and Anna Nicole Smith? Mike Tyson's not dead.

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Why did the man explode when he ate the cheeseburger? Because the man was actually a bomb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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