Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 has been convicted on multiple accounts of murder and Grievous Bodily Harm

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Water is blue. Fire is red. Come on let me show you what happen in the bed.

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What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.

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How do you make someone cry? Shit on them

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how many babies does it take to paint a house depends on how hard you throw em

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did you see stevie wonder's new guitar no neither did he

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H2O." The second one then says "I'll have some H2O too." Both chemists live as no bartender is irresponsible enough to serve liquid hydrogen peroxide in a public bar.

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a couch? A coat because vests don't have sleeves.

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An itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout Down came my dick, and forced the spider out

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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This is a joke about Helen Keller. "Knock knock" "Who's there?

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What is the opposite of Obama? Mitt Romney because he his white and a republican so all is good with him.

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Guy: I have a penis growing out of my crotch. Girl: Hah, sucks to be you! Guy: Yeah.

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What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

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Why can't a T-Rex clap his hands? Because its dead

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A man was found dead, in an ice cream van, the other day. He was covered from head to toe in hundreds and thousands, with two flakes sticking out of his ears. The police say it was a tragedy and will be informing his next of kin in the next few days.

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What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit it in the face with an axe

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When does the Narwhal bacon? The Narwhal bacons at mid-night.

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I just flew here from Cleveland, and boy are my arms tired! The people on either side of me were hogging the armrests, so I had to kind of tuck my arms up behind my head and it was very uncomfortable.

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Why did the little girl fall down She was shot in the leg

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Wife: Where were you all night. Husband: Cheating on you with your sister

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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