Why do you always find a dead baby in the last place you look? Because once you've found it, you stop looking.

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2 muffins are in an oven. One says to the other, "it's really hot in here!" the other replies, "WHOA. A talking muffin!"

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What god did Bill believe in? No god, Bill is an athiest

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What do you call a muslim with a gun I dont know his name

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There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

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What's gayer than Justin Beiber? The guy getting a blowjob from him! Kelvin Yang.

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A lysdexic man tries to spell rentally metarded.

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Why did the cat cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter. You can call him anything you like, but he won't come running to you.

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a man walks into a bar several people leave as they can see the potential danger in the situation. - the man (also so known as a hippo) was Matt Ross

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Roses are red Violets are blue Flesh is green When the dead start to rise you're on my team

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You don't need to know a girls period schedule. Just look in the garbage.

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STOP LOOKING AT MY JOKE

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What does a Jewish man do when he sees a new car? Doesn't buy it because he puts his money in a fund.

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

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What happens 2 seconds after you thorw a rock out a two-story window? The rock hits the ground.

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What's brown and dirty? Dirt.

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What is green and slow Grass.

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How do you get a blonde to break a nail? Smash her finger with a wrench.

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Why did the man walk into a bar? Coz he felt like it.

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reading another damn "worm in your apple" joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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