Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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If a fish eats fish bait, and a dog eats dog bait, what does a master eat? Anything he feels like eating at the given moment provided it is in accordance to his diet and beliefs.

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A blonde sits down in first class on a flight to Miami. That's because she had a ticket for the seat.

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what did the banana say to the orange? nothing because a banana is a fruit

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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Koalas mum is a slut

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What do you call two mexicans playing basketball? A good example of friendly competition.

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What do you get when you cross George Bush and Barack Obama? Presidents.

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whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Prior to this incident he was being chased by a psychopathec killer who had just murdered his family. As he was escaping on his bike, the murder's lookout who was holding a shotgun, swung the butt end of the gun, causing severe brain damage and eventually death to the escaping boy, also causing him to topple over on his bycicle.

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What happened when the boy got sad He fell in a woodchipper

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Why did Jerald heat up pizza? Because he was hungry.

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96

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Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

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What's yellow and shark infested? Shark infested banana pudding.

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The man walked into the church and stayed there.

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Dead babies.

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What did the deaf-blind kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What do you get when you cross a pug and a beagle? A cross pug and a cross beagle.

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Why did Polly fall off her roof? Because her dad pushed her.

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women's rights

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What did the rabbit buy the Jewish duck for Hanukkah? Nothing, animals don't celebrate holidays.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops