Q. What do you get when you mix eggs, mashed potatoes and salt? A. A pretty good batter for mashed potato pancakes.

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DERP

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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A tiger walks into a bar. Clearly there is something wrong with animal control.

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What worse than a hurt puppy? Two hurt puppies.

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Fred: Hey man where were you last night. Steve: Why don't yo ask yo mama.

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A black man walks into a bar. A few minutes later a jewish man enters. Next door, a twelve year old girl is crying over the tragic death of her mother due to terminal cancer.

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Why was the blonde in the bathroom for 2 hours. She had to pee really bad.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because six is a numerophobe.

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It is so hot out here, that it could melt an ice cube that was once in the freezer!

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What do you call a black man running really fast down a street? Active.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

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Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are having a baby. Even Stevie Wonder saw that one coming.

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What's sad about a house on fire?, it was my house.

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Why is Kony so mean? He used to date your mom.

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An Arabic Muslim is on a plane. He's flying to Chicago.

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What's the difference between epistemological pluralism.

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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What do you get when you stab a man in the leg with a knife? A court summons because you have committed a horrible crime

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Todd is offered a pizza, chinese food, and a sandwich. he then kills himself because options trigger a psychological disorder that was diagnosed to him as a child

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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A man is on a date. His philandering causes a bitter divorce.

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What didn't last long? You in the bed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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