What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

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What is worse than menopause? Falling down the stairs breaking your next....

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why couldnt helen keller drive she was a woman

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What computer sings the best? A Dell? No a Mac, because they are the superior computer.

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if you have a name/nickname/brand/version or number, please like this anti joke

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Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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Q: Jeff has 10 cookies, He eats 9. Now what does he have? A: Diabetes, Jeff has diabetes.

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How many police does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they all beat the room for being black.

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A black man and a white man walk into a job interview. Neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

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Why did the tree fall? I cut it.

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What do you call it when an old person cuts off their fingers? Dementia

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Knock Knock! Who's there? ... THE DOOR!!

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Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

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Why is the sky red in London? Fire.

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press a,s,d,f,g,h,j,k,l feel like a pianist

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What happened when rudolf bucked Santa? Santa ripped his hooves off and started hitting his nose until it stopped glowing

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being molested by a giant octopus.

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Whats worse than finding a repeated joke in anti-joke? The Holocaust.

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Q.When is a dog, not a dog? A. never

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Why was the man waiting at the bus stop? He was on his way to work

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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Why was the Jew sad Because it was Christmas.

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What did the elephant say to the zebra? Nothing, elephants can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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