Why did the girl get hit by the bus. Because she was Helen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many Haitians does it take to change a lightbulb? Typically one, unless the light bulb referenced is in an inconvenient location or is over-sized / industrial grade.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you spell Madeleine Mccann? I A N

thumb_up thumb_down +6

boobs.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why didn't the Asian student ask for a calculator? Because he was busy washing the dishes and thought a calculator would be completely inappropriate for the situation at hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +323

Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats worse than getting a parking ticket? The Bubonic Plague

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what do you get if you take the head off a duck and a monkey, and swap them over to the other bodies. 2 dead animals and quite alot of mess

thumb_up thumb_down +207

Two muffins are in an oven. Muffin 1: Gosh it's hot in here. Muffin 2: Holy Crap! A talking muffin!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

thumb_up thumb_down -6

yomamas so fat it made Ben kanobi say thats no moon thats yo mama!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the jew do to his waiter? He explained how he had provided excellent service and left a very generous tip to applaud his efforts.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what do you say to the preacher when he walks into church? i dont fu***** know, im jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats the differnce between madalin macan and batman?...batman returns

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the editor lose his job at a poetry magazine? Because he's worthless.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the little boy didn't finish his dinner? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the cripple kid get for Christmas? Cancer. You know what he got the next the next Christmas? Nothing he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

An alligator walks into a bar. The bar tender calls animal control and calmly escorts everyone out the back door.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When there's something strange in your neighborhood, who ya gonna call? The Police. There's something strange in your neighborhood.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

how do you make a boy cry you cut out his eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Like does not mean said. You can blame Justin Bieber for that one, cuz he was like "Baby Baby Baby" and I was like "no"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the blind kid that couldn't talk get for Christmas Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops