Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. -Are u a grapefruit? NO!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the German say to the Rabbi? Hello. The German was also Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and have a wonderful time at what many people believe to be the most magical place on Earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +3,047

if your having trouble coming through the back door, try a Butterfinger

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down

how many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one................ standing on a pile of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A boy with red hair is happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

school homewrok

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says nothing to the man running the stand. Realizing that the duck might potentially keep patrons from approaching the stand, he packs up and moves elsewhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

hey girl, My Gyarados is BIG enough for you to ride it ALL day and night

thumb_up thumb_down -12

an american an asian and a jihadist got on a train where did they go no where as the jihadist was strapped to c4

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q:How many pancakes can you fit on top of as doghouse? A:Purple. Because ice cream has no bones.....

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A woman is carried out of a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What can fly? Lots of things

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock knock Who's there? An elf. An elf who? An elf who wants to be a dentist.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What happens when you get hit in the face? You get hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: What did the ant say to the bush? A: Ernest Borgnine

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did Muhammad pray to Jesus? Because he has low self esteem and didn't believe in himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops