What did the librarian say to the three black men in the library? Nothing. Those three men were Harvard graduates and were very respective of libraries, and thier policies.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Well... My reputation is still kinda exaggerated apparently. What you experienced is called astral projection, some people claim it is the same as lucid dreaming, I beg to differ, the difference is vast. You basically just admitted that people believe much more in you, than you believe in yourself, without believing hypnosis does not work, people are like "bah its just suggestions", its true, but underestimating the power of suggestions is a pretty bad call.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Because he was dangerously fatigued from staying up all night weeping passionately into the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of twenty years after the CEO of the company declared bankruptcy and finding out that his only daughter was in the hospital in critical condition after her school bus flipped off a bridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

How does a pirate get to work? His CAAAARRRR! Where does the pirate go after work? The BAAAARRRR! How does the pirate get home from the bar? A taxi. A pirate doesn't drive after consuming alcohol.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you make a dentist cry? Rape him in the ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why are some people so emotional? Because some their family were hit by a train and then died the next day of lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock-Knock Come in! ...

thumb_up thumb_down

what's worse than a dead baby? a pile of dead babies. what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath? the live one has to eat it's way out. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out? more dead babies dumped on the already existing pile. what's worse than the giant pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out, but there are more dead babies piled on top? this is all in your basement.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A man walks into a bar and says "ouch". The nearby patrons ask him what is ailing him.

thumb_up thumb_down +123

A dog, a cat, and a a fish were having a conversation while their owners were away. Ashton Kutcher is a murderer.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

In Soviet Russia, table flip you! ???? ? /(. - . \?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What does a black guy do to a white girl when the lights go off and there's a bed in the room? They go to sleep so they can have enough energy to work their two jobs and provide for their family after they've been evicted from their home.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happened when a terrorist puts a bomb in a hospital? Everyone dies cause it was a hospital for crippled people

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Why did he? NO I LOST THE CHICKEN Later: Knock knock Who's there The chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is less sanitary than eating food off of the ground? Anal sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Your mom is so environmentally conscious, she recycles a great deal.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why are there so many anti-jokes about refrigerators? Because the writer of the joke was pressured by terrorists that would kill him if he didn't write about refrigerators.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off, how is he? Well you see, the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off...He's dead. I..um..he's straight up dead. I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell ya.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you say to a black man in the morning? Good morning

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than farting in front of your boyfriend? Farting on your boyfriends pillow and giving him pink eye.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why doesn't a duck's quack echo? Evolution.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Brock is a massive b00b who likes da siiiiiii

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Yo mama so ugly... she has an extremely bad burn on her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops