Q. What's brown and people don't care when they step on it? A. Dirt

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why was the dog barking?? bryan is a douche..... get it troupe.

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Why did Jonny commit suicide? Airplanes dont have feet.

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I'm wet Ew you perv.. Stop thinking like that ! I just took a shower.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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What does a gay horse eat? Other gay horses.

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Sure. Me too, do you have any?

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Your dad is so fat, that eventually he got on Biggest Loser and ended living a very successful life.

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What's blue and pillowy? A blue pillow

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why did the chicken not cross the road? He ran

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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What's worse than a woman driver? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? A: I'm sorry. I was raised in an abusive home and I never learned how to properly express my emotions. I'm going to seek professional counseling but in the meantime we should end our relationship for your safety.

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So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing? I dont know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

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What is 100(1+1) -100 + 50 x2 - 300? 0. But who cares? The answer is as worthless as you.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I dont know so why are you asking?

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Did you hear about the black guy who got into college? Actually, there are nearly 10,00 African Americans who get accepted into college every year. This specific black male is notable because of his stellar grades and his activity in his community.

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your momma is so fat she has diabetes

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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what happened to the man who is standing in the rain? he got wet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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