what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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A mama cow was sitting in the barn with her 3 babies. The first baby cow goes "Mom, why did you name me Daisy?" "Because a Daisy landed on your head when you were born" The second calf goes "Mom, why did you name me Rose?" "Because a Rose petal landed on your head when you where born." The third calf says "Aasdfghoiuytfghjkuiy" The mom replies "Shut up brick"

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If a black person gets a tan, what do you get? A burned black sausage.

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why did the boy have no friends? cause he was smelly

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A: I accidentally shot my sister with a rifle! B: you don't have a sister? A: exactly

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1234 5

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A: What's worse than two dead babies lying on cement? B: The Holocaust? A: Yeah or something like that

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whats black white and red all over an abused child

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Why did the white man cry? Because his mistress, Shanghai, was threatening to tell his wife that they were in a relationship and, out of anger, he bashed Shanghai's head in and she is dead,

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what do the students call their red-headed friend? Mike.

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Chuck Norris' beard takes 1st 2nd and 3rd in the most impressive beard catagory. He was the only contestant.

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A boy tells his friend a 9/11 joke. The boy's friend says "Don't joke about 9/11, my dad died in it." "I'm sorry I didn't know.", responds the boy. "Yeah, that's the last plane he ever flew"

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Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

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Shltskc gw? G

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I lost The Game, You just did too.

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Q: How do you make a black man think you're racist? A: Racism

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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What's worse than having but sex and finding out you have aids? Knowing that the person you had sex with was dead

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your balls chewed off by a rottweiler.

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what did the comedian tell the audience? a joke.

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So there was a pirate, he got shot in the back. And when he got shot he turned to his freind (fellow pirate) and said i have been shot and there is a pretty good chance i will die.

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what do you do to gay guy who wants to have anal sex with you? beat him with a steel baseball bat in his face.

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I am nobody Nobody is perfect Therefore, I am perfect

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What did one computer say to the other? 01001111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011 0100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 0100000 01101001 01110011 0100000 01101111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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