Q. Why was little Timmy crying? A. Because his sister died of cancer.

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Why did little Sally throw a stick of butter out the window? Sally had a burning hatred for dairy products.

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What's the best part about having sex with a bunch of 3 year olds? There's 20 of them

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Why did the family at dinner not tip the waiter? He was mean and spat in their food.

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Why was Michael Jackson seen shopping at Kmart? Because he heard little boys pants were 50% off the original price.

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A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

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i stole a monkey from a man in a yellow hat his name is george now his name is i hate you

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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I once heard what I consider the best joke ever: But I am not telling it to you, because this is a the anti-joke section. Moral: You better find the secret "real jokes section" because its there, yeeeeeess yeeeeeeeeees of coursehahahahaha!

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

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don't look behind you

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neil likes pube toast

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Why did george washington not make it to the prom? because george washington is dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know I'm not a bird physcologist

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What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Poke her face? No slap her bum!

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A boy walks home from school. On his way home some bullies stole his kite. When the boy got home he was greeted by a police officer that told him that his parents had been killed. The boy started crying and the Police officer said " whats wrong?". The boy replied " some bullies stole my kite".

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What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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Listen, I cannot as much as I would like, to take the full responsibility for every decision my former followers might decide to make of their own, we are no religion nor do we follow any kind of doctrines, we encourage freedom but also respect for our fellow human beings, all of them regardless of race or affiliation. But you let me know whoever has as much as looked at you the wrong way, and I will make sure they no longer find themselves welcome within my order, nor anywhere else if their actions merit the firm hands of justice.

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batman farted so hes retarded

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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What happened when the man got into the taxi? The driver shot him 17 times in the chest and ran away

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The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

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Roes are red Violets are blue I felt silly for writing this Because violets are violet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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