what does a deer and grass have in common? they are both green but i lied about the deer

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roses are red poo is poo

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How many squirrels does it take to change a lightbulb? 42.

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Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

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A chicken walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding chickens cant talk and animal control was called

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A man walks into a shop and picks up some items for his party. He walks out of the shop without paying for the items. The police are promptly called and the man receives a 4 year sentence in prison for shoplifting.

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Why doesn't Lucinda have a penis? Because she's Mexican.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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What's the difference between a mexican and a park bench? One is a minority whose ancestors originally lived in the central american country of Mexico, the other is a useful convenience that provides a place to rest one's legs in a public place.

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Q: What is the difference between a potato chip and a frog? A: Neither one of them is a flower.

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What's brown and sticky? a stick.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawer? we are both lawyers

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I hate girls that try to act hard. Like calm down you dont got a dick.

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What's worse than slipping on a banana peel? Amanda Todd's suicide.

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Did you hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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B=boy G=girl B:hey i got a good nock nock joke but you have to start it G:okay nock nock B:whos there?

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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Why didn't the plane crash... because of the wight male piloting it

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Hey! Do you like fishsticks? Me too :)

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because having no sense of hearing or vision she is completely incapable of operating any sort of machinery.

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Whats worse than 1 bee sting? - 2 Whats worse than 2 bee stings? - Holocaust Whats worse than the Holocaust? - 3 bee stings Now, if you are smart, you would notice that no one really alive today was in the Holocaust, therefore you can not make an accurate comparison between bee stings and the millions of Jews being killed. -SPG

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? They were my friends.

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What do you get when you mix a black person with an octopus? i dont know. but it sure picks cotton well.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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