What do you do with a pickle jar full of semen? Use it for gel, because it took so long to collect it all, and you're frugal person who believes in recycling.

Q; Why did the gas station attendant scream when 3 black men walked into his store? A: It was his surprise birthday party.

What did the Mexican shoe salesman say to the man? Excuse me, do you whih way to main street?

how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

If you throw a red stone in a blue lake what does it become? Simply a wet stone.

A man walks into the doctor's office and says, "Doc, every time I drink coffee, my eye hurts". The Doctor then tells him, "You have an infection called conjunctivitis, also known as pinkeye"

Why "Is Bart Simpson Yellow Its The Only Crayon The Illustrator had

Why did Margret eat the banana? She was hungry.

Knock knock It's open

What's worse than anti-jokes? The holocaust.

why didnt the old man go to his sons birthday he died.........nah i lied he went went

why shouldn't hellen keller drive? because she's a woman

What has 3 eyes, green fur and blue ears? Nothing.

Why is the chicken on the road? Cuz he died trying to get to the other side.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long mane?"

how many black men did it take to steal from the whitehouse? Obama.

Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first panda. Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a whore, Let's have sex.

Q: What did the duck say to the bartender? A: Nothing considering that ducks cannot speak

on a scale from 0 to 100, how childish are you? 69

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

I scream, you scream, we all scream because we're getting murdered.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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