- Anti Joke

What would George Washington be doing if he was alive today? Scratching and screaming at the bottom of his coffin.

how do you beat the system? throw your xbox out a window.

Where did the 5 gay guys go? One direction

Ya know how when geese fly in a V-shape, one side is longer than the other? -Yes Do you know why that is? -No Because there's more geese on that side

Q: What did the black man say to the sheriff? A: Good day, officer

What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

Two octopuses are swimming in the ocean. Suddenly a scuba diver spots one of the octopus. The octopus looks at the human and swims away.

Why are all black people fast? They aren't its a stereotype.

roses are red violets are blue your friend is a scumbag and so are you

PFF! I hate that shit XD not saying that claymation cant be art, but that Plonsters or whatever is just something I dragged out of my head.

What's not funny? Today's anti-joke writers

A: Knock Knock! B: Who's There? A: I Am...

Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

Why did Max drink the red Gatorade? Because he likes it more than all of the other flavors.

How to you scare a paraplegic? Point a gun at him.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you were observing it, thus changing its quantum state and making it decide to cross.

What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

Why was the black kid in the AP Calculus classroom? Because he was a very driven student, who studied hard so that he could attend a good University and build a good life for himself and his family.

Why does Santa Clause eat cookies? Because cookies not part of a balanced diet.

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what happened to your gran you tell me

Q. how do you get 50 babies into a bowl? A. blender Q. how do you get them out of the bowl? A. Doritos

Why did the little boy cry? He fell down the stairs

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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