What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

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Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

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"the president is black, my lambo's blue..." no hes not, hes bi-racial.

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why harry potter, if he was a wizard?

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One early Christmas morning i went downstairs. My mother told me that she had gotten me the ultimate stocking stuffer. It was a foot

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A man walked in to a bar, he ordered a few drinks, met some new friends and had a good laugh with them. Later that night, he got in his car and drove home, which was foolish, as he should have known that being under the influence of alcohol increases the percentage of a collision, which could take his life and the lives of others. He arrived home just fine and got in to bed with his wife who was happy to see him.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas?? - Cancer

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what do u get when you cross a monkey, a sock and wheels? A: a sock monkey. I was kidding about the wheels

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Who ever invented the "Knock- Knock jokes" should get a "No-bell prize"

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There are two cows standing in a wide, green field eating hay. The first cow says: "Moo". The second cows says: "Thats funny, I was about to say that."

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Q:your jetski loses a wheel. how many pancakes does it take to fix your house? A:blue berry icecream.

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A man with a blue house wears a blue shirt and wears blue jeans. Someone from a red house with a red shirt knocks on his door. He is invited in because they are friends and both have a wonderful time.

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what did the man say after he fell off the cliff nothing, he's dead

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Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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why is yo mamma fat? cause she likes doughnuts

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Republicans

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call me maybe.

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Larry stopped by today to drop of a package. The package was a bomb. So I gave the "gift" to my neighbor for her birthday. My Mom is my neighbor.

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* Are you deaf? * Yes, as I love paradoxes.

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justin bieber walks into a bar, he is then kicked out because he's under age.

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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What's black and white and red all over? Two nuns in a chainsaw fight.

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How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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