My girlfriend dumped me because I'm patronizing. That means I treat people like they're stupid.

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I like jokes.

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women's lacrosse.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Yes, it's actually very nice.

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What did the boy with cancer, no arms, and no legs get for his birthday? Nothing he was dead.

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What can't taste with a toung, and it's soul never dies? A shoe

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Chuck Norris counted to infinity; by calculating the sum of a divergent series.

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whats the difference between and clorox wipe and a paper towel? a clorox wipe is wet.

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What happens to the man with cancer He dies Because the pharmaceutical company wanted to profit off a synthetic drug equal to marijuana

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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What do you call something you should prepare yourself for when having sex with a prostitute? A.I.D.S

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why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

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Two Guys walk into a bar; the second one should have seen it coming.

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What did the four pigs do at the farm? Roll in mud.

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

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How do you wake Lady GaGa up? set her alarm for a reasonable hour.

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Why was darren too late for school today...? She got hit by the bus

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Can Geico save save you 50% on your car insurance? Does a former drill sergent make a terrible therapist?

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Why did Zayne have no friends? Because he is retarded.

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What happens when two jews meet in the bus ? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it's not worth telling a joke about that.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the Altar Boy shortly after sex? Nothing. The feelings of shame and revulsion the priest felt about what he had just done meant he couldn't look him in the eye let alone talk to him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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