Why couldn't the blonde do her homework? She had no fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Hey, Max!!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

children burning

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If you are riding uphill in a canoe and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to fit in the dog house? None. Ice cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down

Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happen? Idk...

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why would anyone try to run from a fight if:Its not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog? I wasn't even talking about dogs and fight isn't something in you! Next time, don't listen to your football coach.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the Johhny say to the black man when he saw him buying a watermelon? Nothing, Johnny is mute.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats your name? bumder:)

thumb_up thumb_down

Q-if you are what you eat ,does that make you cannibal? A- yes

thumb_up thumb_down -23

--"Do you like impressions?" -Yeah! --"Why?" ................... --"That was Socr-ates."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Guy at computer: My computer won't turn on. Help desk Guy: Did you try restarting. Guy at computer: No. The help desk guy hangs up and the guy at the computer proceeds to cry because he has failed.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

why did the girl like dick? Because Dick was a nice boy.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was Newton surprised when the apple fell on his head? Because he was sitting under a pear tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: How many Jews can fit in a car? A: 5 in a standard mid sized sedan, or 7 in an SUV

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? There was a huge pile of dead babies blocking his path.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What is Wonder Woman's drug of choice? Heroine.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

2 guys walk into a bar the first gys says id like a beer the second guy says me to

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the cat die? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -1

WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What has three legs and herpes? A male prostitute.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops