What did the homeless man get for christmas eve? Hypothermia. What did the children get for christmas day? A traumatic experience when they tripped over his snow-covered corpse.

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Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

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Q: Why is the sun so bright? A: Because it reads books!

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Stephen Hawking

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An Italian leaves the mofia

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What happens when an old lady bumps into a black man in the middle of the night? He politely offers her help getting home and she accepts.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What do you catch a baby with? A pitchfork

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A man goes into a bar. What are mangos doing in a bar?

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A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

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Why did the orphans kill timmy? timmy said a your mom joke.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? -A dead baby sitting next to a kid with Down Syndrome.

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WOKE UP THIS MORNING AND SAW PROSTITUTE OUT THE WINDOW AND SAID GRANDMA GRANDMA CAN I GO PLAY WITH THAT PROSTITUTE SHE SAID NO YOU CAN PLAY WITH ME BECAUSE I'M A PROSTITUTE TOO

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What is the same about a bird and a turtle? They can both fly . . . except for the turtle

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practice.

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Why didn't the baby come to daycare? Because his mother got killed by spongebob

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My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

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What did the Asian store clerk say to the midget? yay penis

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog

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what did the african say after he got beat by the cops? wow i really shouldn't have sliced that mans head off.

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A man is talking to his friend at work. The man asks his friend, "Did you see the game last night?" Then a plane crashes into the building and we call it 911

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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