What happened to the baby seal who went clubbing? He met a nice woman and contracted HIV from her after engaging in unprotected sexual intercourse after taking her to his flat.

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Do you know what's the sexiest thing in the world? Sex.

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A baby crawls into a bar. He cannot walk.

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Why are Jews so tight with there money? They want to be finanically stable and provide a future for their familys.

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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watched pride and prejudice last night. I hate period dramas... too much blood

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My friend may look like a circle but..... ......He's actually a square.......

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Elephants can't jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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What did the retard say to the other retard.. hey timmy how was work?

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Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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yo mama's so fat, yo mama's so ugly; your mothers breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks

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Did you hear the one about the dead guy? Apparently he was no longer living.

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What's Black, white, green, and red? To bloody zebras fighting over a pickle

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Two gophers are in a tank One of them says how the heck do you drive this thing?

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why was the man coughing? because there was a knife in his throat.

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haha look at that guys shirt! what's wrong with it? i don't know.. nothing i guess

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

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I am not racist, racism is a crime! Crime is for black people.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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See now that is confident and down to earth, reasonable, and all the etc etc`s, so what would you like me to fill them in with? Joking aside, you are smart, funny, you take a beating (sorry that`s today`s new low point, I have never hit a woman and never will, sure I punched down the GigaLesb when she lifted me up and my spine started making cracking noises, but that does not technically count as a woman). You are sweet, you are cute, you are funny, you are hot hot hot (hattrick see?), and yeah yeah if you want me to prove to people here that we know each other, sure, I met you once like 15 years ago? You kinda adored me, I could not take my eyes of yours (oh yeah, you got adorable eyes sure), and... You got huge breasts (Tits are more like those hanging you know what I mean) Sigh sometimes a boy wonders what he is doing with his life, he falls for the strangest girls... ...AND THEN SAID BOY FINDS HIMSELF BROKEN IN TWINE BY ME!

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What did the newborn get on it's birthday? A life

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Terry is at his job, when he drops his cookie on the floor. His coworker accidentally steps on it as he's about to pick it up. "Sorry" says his coworker. "I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles" said Terry. Turns out Terry is black.

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A man walked into a bar and it hurt.

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What's black and white, and red all over ? An interracial couple who were both gruesomely decapitated in a freak car accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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