Friends are like trees, if you deprive them from water they'll die.

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Your Momma’s muscle to fat ratio can only be explained in irrational complex numbers.

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Knock Knock Whos there? The Police, your mother just died of bowel cancer.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? RAPED.

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Why are Jewish men curcumsized? Because Jewish women wont put their hands on anything that's not 20% off

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What is Cleopatra's favorite cookie? A: Chips Ahoy

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helen keller's dad put a plunger in the toilet and left it there. helen then went to use the bathroom....

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When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

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A tourist is hungry, so he asks a stranger to point him to the nearest McDonald's. The stranger points to the McDonald's across the street. As the tourist crosses the street, he gets hit by a car AND DIES. McDonald's kills.

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What do you call a lump on your penis? STD

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What do you call a black man on the moon - A Problem What do you call 5 black men on the moon - A Bigger Problem What do you call every black person on the moon - Problem Solved!

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

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An underage man walks into a bar. He then was shot and kicked out of the bar. An overage person found the body. What age is he? Normal Age

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a short term memory Roses are red

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So, there's a lion loose in Colchester. Should've gone to Specsavers... [L]

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Two chairs were sitting there. One chair says "Could you pass me that cup?" The other chair says "Oh my God a talking chair!"

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whats the point of anti jokes? A: the point that it is no point

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was very hungrey and saw some seed on the other side.

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Knock Knock. Shut up.

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A Mormon walks into a bar.

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"My, what big teeth you have!" exclaimed Little Red Riding Hood. "Because I'm a wolf," explained the wolf. "And I dress in women's clothing because it makes me happier."

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a scotch on the rocks. Realizing how strange this occurrence was, the bartender immediately calls the local news station and tells them there is a talking horse in his place of business and it would be in their best interest to come do a story on it, because the likelihood of them finding another story of this magnitude is quite slim.

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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