How did the man want his hair cut? In silence.

A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital due to a large aneurysm that has burst in his brain because he walked into the bar.

I like my women like I like my pancakes: Flipped over, inanimate, motionless, and covered in my syrup.

What did the clock say? The time.

Three men walk into a bar. The first guy bought two drinks, the second guy bought three drinks, can you guess what the third guy bought? A tazer.,

Why did Sally drink water? Because she wanted to take pills and kill herself.

why'd the women leave the kitchen? her chain broke

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a homicidal maniac, six has every right to be afraid

johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

9/11, Amanda Todd, Adalia Rose, Cancer, Swag, Yolo, Disco, anything Southern, Nazi's, and Police officers walk into a bar Everyone stares because these are mildly offensive things.

Q: Knock Knock!?! A: Lettem' in!!!!

Several ways to annoy people: Grab the end of their shirt to blow your nose Try to shove a bowling ball down there throat Try to sell them a broom and vacuum Try to eat their babies paint their toe Nibble their ankles Ask if you can babysit their crystal and if they say no start whining Carry around your chicken and ask if they want a nugget

Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

Chuck Norris has normal human strength.

Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

who hooks up with grade 7's? •Jake Muchnik

How do you make a baby cry Throw a brick at its face

Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because the Nazis were on the brink of losing the war and Berlin was shortly to be captured by Soviet forces.

Ed Milliband knows what's best for the UK.

What does? 42

A man walks in to a bar, the bartender asks "what will it be?" The man says i don't know, what will it be?"

Ben: do you want to hear a joke. jack: yh go on then, i bet its funny. Ben: Your future.

nick walked into macdonalds... everyone stood up and left as they saw the potential danger in the situation.. nick later ended up bieng hit by a bus after chasing a duck

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. He was stapled to the baby.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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