Your best friend is different from a dead person. The best friend will die if you shoot him in the head but the dead person won't die, he's already dead.

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are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

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Q. I look in a mirror. What do I see? A.My reflection

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why did the zebra cross the road?

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Nothing.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Question : Why did the boy need to change his pants? Answer: During recess, the little boy was running to fast and fell on the ground. Then kid he has been bullying pissed on his leg.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen. You are going to go to jail.

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How do you get a person to stop talking to you? Ask nicely to please be quiet and let me talk.

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A guy walks into a restaurant. "What would you like?" says the waiter. "A glass of orange juice," replies the man.

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Johnny walked up to his teacher one day and asked her to explain to him how babies were made. She instead whispered back to him, "Let me show you". He declined, because he wasn't prepared to be a father.

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what did katness save her Life? because peter hates her and katness is peaches and peter dies in the titanic because it is gay shut up becky

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How did the mouse die It was eaten by a cat How did the cat die It jumped into the bathtub and drowned

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you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

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What did the horse say to the other horse? Neigh

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My brother gave my mom AIDS. My mom gave my dad AIDS. My dad gave my dog AIDS. My dog gave me AIDS. I gave my sister AIDS. My sister called the police because of the wild case of AIDS.

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What does the black guy say to his black friend? "I like Watermelon, Grape Drink, and Fried Chicken.

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Did you hear the one about the kid that farted in class? Cool.

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What did the worm say to the butterfly? Nothing, worms don't talk.

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How do you make a baby float? 1 can root bear 2 scoop baby

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What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

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what do you do when a dog bites your ear off? you see that you are bleeding then you scream.

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What does Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na equal? A lot of sodium

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Q: What's worse than being stung by a bee A: The Rwandan Genocide

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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