Joey mayer's face

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Yo mommas so fat that when people look at her they say things like "shes bigger than me"

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what would Michael jakson do if he was alive? scream and hit the top of his coffin

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Why did the homeless man steal food from the local grocery store? He had not eaten in three days and was forced to steal or risk possible starvation.

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When there's something strange in your neighborhood, who ya gonna call? The Police. There's something strange in your neighborhood.

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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pleas help someone is in my house i think hes trying to kill me i'm not even joking.

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Two Pigs are in a bath. One pig says to the other "pass me the soap", to which the other pig replies "Do I look like a typewriter?"

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Guess What? What? Get in the van.

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Hey Eliz, just a final thought, if and when I die (hey I am your step dad after all, dont forget I am four years older than you now! So ill die first anyway, hopefully) Promise me that you will call me on the phone and either yell SNAKE ANSWER ME SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! Or BOSS ANSWER ME BOOOOOOOOOOSS! Never mind, I never liked videogames ironically, but hey, its funny, Suddenly this Boss guy shows up, and I feel like I have something in common with someone! A game character anyway, and its a fucking boring game too, just sneaking around, then you got to well pay people to build shit and I shut it off by then... ...Finally the nurses are here... Those guys again, hey guys, I cant speak nor remember what button to press to delete shit, but I heard bogosexuals with an h, dont get the message, you see the man with broken fingers there, go get me female nurses or... They sleeping? And not with me? Okay guys, get me out of here, I am humiliating myself in front of my uh... Frienddaughtersisterthing as for the rest of you fucks, has it ever seemed like I have ever cared about your inferior opinions above my superhuma... I am drun or something huh guys? 60 MG valium? You fucking murderers! Well will that other dru.. Fine then... Nero The End? Seriously flaggots! I cant stop typing, just get me out of this... Wheelchair? When did that happen? Well roll me out then! And please you know, fill that code thing and the terms and all that.

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whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer

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what did the plane say to the trade center on 9/11 boom

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Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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why didnt anyone like matt adams? cuz hes a stupid buttface

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Q: What did the ant say to the bush? A: Ernest Borgnine

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Q: What is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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I'm sn otter

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If I tell you that seeing you happy, is my main motivation towards accepting right now, would you believe me?

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Why couldn't Jesus get a driver's license? Because automobiles did not exist 2000 years ago.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Refrigerators are whitWhen falling from trees, they kill you

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Why do black people eat watermelon? It is a good source of vitamin C.

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What do you call it when you take cheese that isn't yours? Stolen bitch, your under-arrest!

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What happened to the chicken who crossed the road ? Quite obviously he got to the other side to be greeted by a 50 foot half man half chicken who had one leg.

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What do you a badass who not a badass. Grant Lousbury.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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