What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars except the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Type 2 diabetics

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did Helen Keller see on her trip? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +45

How many Mexicans can you fit into a car? The bathroom is on the left, mam.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A Carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the smiley face say to the other smiley face? Nothing. They just smiled.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's funny? At the exact moment you read this, someone is suffering from domestic abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Osama Bin Laden dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5, you both have the same amount of money

thumb_up thumb_down +2,115

What is better than a cat? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Q.Whats funny about death A.You die

thumb_up thumb_down -44

why did the dad stop working on the roof he fell off

thumb_up thumb_down -21

My daughter got a kinder surprise with cool toy today..... i killed her i didnt even want the toy

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Where did Susie go after an explosion? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A mama cow was sitting in the barn with her 3 babies. The first baby cow goes "Mom, why did you name me Daisy?" "Because a Daisy landed on your head when you were born" The second calf goes "Mom, why did you name me Rose?" "Because a Rose petal landed on your head when you where born." The third calf says "Aasdfghoiuytfghjkuiy" The mom replies "Shut up brick"

thumb_up thumb_down -47

I always like to pack a second pair of pants, because if there's one thing my mother ever said to me it was 'please, I'm begging you - don't put me in a home.'

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q:What's worse then Finding A Worm in Your apple? A: Realizing how empty your life is.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How many men do you have to have sex with to show that you're gay? But, I'm a woman!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he got hit by a car because he wasn't aware of the dangers of not looking both ways. Bufoon

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Alzheimer's ... Roses are Red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's (continues)

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops