Sometimes when you drink sperm you choke

thumb_up thumb_down +5

In 2030, what will most people be doing for a living? Using food stamps.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red,vilots are blue just wait till I poo and till i kiss you

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why does Mike Tyson always win his fights? Because he hides in a refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Chuck Norris tried to return some jeans to Target and when they didn't give him his money he kickeed them in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the mother do when she find out her daughter left for the party? Nothing. She realized her daughter was old enough to make mature descions.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's worse then ten dead babies in a garbage can? Being the one who found them.

thumb_up thumb_down

why don't you hit a black guy on a bike? because its probably your bike

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock Knock Who's there? A Jojobas Witness open up

thumb_up thumb_down -423

What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A boy walks home from school. On his way home some bullies stole his kite. When the boy got home he was greeted by a police officer that told him that his parents had been killed. The boy started crying and the Police officer said " whats wrong?". The boy replied " some bullies stole my kite".

thumb_up thumb_down -13

want more?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's funnier than 24? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the mexican immigrant have no friends? He lacked social skills and was unfamiliar with American mannerism's.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Samantha ate 62 cookies. Then she ate 300 more. How many did she eat after that? None she didn't for the next 6 years after developing an eating disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A Jew walks into a gas chamber...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock knock. Who is there? My wife. My wife who? My wife is a prostitute, selling her own body for money so we can afford drugs for my son who has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is a chicken and is not intelligent enough to know that he is about to be hit by a bus while hopelessly searching for food under an elderly man's nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

The only time when white and black are together When I've just taken a shit! ?ttis

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops