What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer..... Just Kidding! He got a bike!

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9/11 my birthday

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10 years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope, and Jonny Cash. Now we have?

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Why did the platypus have no friends? Platipi are antisocial creatures by nature.

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Is this where I type the joke?

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Your mother is so stupid that she was tested and proved to be mentally retarded.

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fart

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A man walks into a bar and says "I just got back from the battered woman's shelter, and boy are my arms tired" Everyone laughed. The man sat at the end of the bar drinking alone. He was proud of the fine craftsmanship of the shelves he put up in the shelter's pantry, regardless of what others may think.

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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What do you call a black person born in America? American.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reading another damn "worm in your apple" joke.

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you know why people who read anti-jokes are stupid? i just had the greatest sex ever!!

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Hey I Just Met You , & This Is Crazy , But Here's My Status , So Like It Maybe ?

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MAKE TEA NOT WAR!

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Why did the man take off his pants A: because they were uncomfortable to sit in

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Hello Braydon I am at home where are you?

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if life hands u melons, make melonade.

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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What's sad about 3 Black Guys in a Camero? It was my car...

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Why does a Jew, a catholic, and a buddhist eat pizza? because they like the way it tastes.

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If you were a pie I'd eat you

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What's the difference between black guy and a bucket of shit? The bucket

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Why did the cat throw up on the couch? because it was nauseous!

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what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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