What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

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My piggy bank is empty. No change there then

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your mom is so dumb she threw a rock at the ground and missed

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What's red and smells like green paint? The rotting corpse of the old lady I poisoned with green paint.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Roses Are Red , Violets Are Blue , Go Die .

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1/= |_| (4|\| /234|) 7|-|15 (411 */0|_|/2531/= 4 1337 |-|4><0/2!!!1!

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What did lil' Suzy do when she got home from school? She was violently mutilated by a bear then continually but raped by a man she met on the Internet. Needless to say, she had a great time. -Harrison

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

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why can't Hellen Keller hear? she is deaf.

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Five guys in white sheets chase a black man down the street. It is Halloween and all six people are close friends and enjoy goofing around.

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The Charlotte Bobcats winning more than 10 games

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why did the jewish man die answer The hollucost

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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How do you tickle a tree? you dont you are a schizo stop kicking leaves

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Madame. Madame who? Just kidding it's Steve, but my damn foot's stuck in the door.

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Why did the man walk into the grocery store? To provide an alibi for his identical twin who was committing 1st degree murder at the time.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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Abe Lincholn had a son, But he died

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What did the teenage girl text her friend while driving? It doesn't matter, she's dead now. Don't text and drive.

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What did the man say to the horse in the bar? Nothing, communication requires listening and comprehension which horses cannot process in their brains. If anything the man said it at the horse, not to him.

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If you riding a jet-ski amd the wheels fall of, how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? Blue Ice Cream

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops