What happended to the family in the hurricane? They died stupid

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I dont know, are you a tomato?

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What is black, can fly and sing? R. Kelly.. "I believe I can fly"

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Person 1 - Did you know there is only evidents of killer whales killing in captivity Person 2 - tell that to my uncle Pete... He's deaf

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Why was Sally gone for her father's birthday? She went on a camping trip with her friends. Sally's friends were brutally murdered and she was kidnapped. The kidnapper cut off her arms and legs and left her in the middle of a suburban intersection late at night. The autopsy revealed that Sally died from blood loss from losing her limbs. It also revealed that she had contracted a fast growing tumor in her brain which would have most likely killed her within days of the murder anyway. Her family was living in the country illegally so her DNA did not reveal a computer file of her person. Her parents were not informed of her death for years because of this. When it was determined that the victim was the parents' daughter they were arrested for living in the country illegally and were not able to have a funeral.

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This blind man read my mind the other day. I swear, it's like he has a 5th sense!

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A mama cow was sitting in the barn with her 3 babies. The first baby cow goes "Mom, why did you name me Daisy?" "Because a Daisy landed on your head when you were born" The second calf goes "Mom, why did you name me Rose?" "Because a Rose petal landed on your head when you where born." The third calf says "Aasdfghoiuytfghjkuiy" The mom replies "Shut up brick"

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What do you get when you cross a 747 with a passenger train? A large colission with hundreds dead and injured.

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Knock Knock COME IN!!!!

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What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ...because chickens love to confound people.

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Your momma's so fat: She has found a value in relationships beyond an aesthetic level.

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Whats better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

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How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? The police Johnson Oh, come in Mr Johnson

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Why couldn't the mexican feed his family? Because a large percent of mexican immigrants in the United States do not have jobs due to dicrimination against illegal immigrants crossing the soutern border, thus rendering them more vunerable to unemployment is that is vastly present in the United States.

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Why can't Susie jump rope? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! who's there? Not Susie.

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Yo Mama so stupid because she's been addicted to marijuana since she was a teenager, and has lost many brain cells. Resulting in her forgetting simple things like your birthday, her own name, etc. She has also developed lung cancer. She's predicted to die in two months if she continues to smoke as she does now.

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69

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This little pig went to market, This little pig stayed at home, This little pig had pork chops, And this little pig was GONE...

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Person 1: Knock knock. Person 2: Come in.

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Knock knock Who's there? Hello??? .....

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To look at the most interesting man in the world.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have said two factual statements.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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