A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "I just found out I have AIDS"

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

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Davey Peterson.

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How many blonde chicks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to set the house on fire, and the other to call 119.

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in face! Why didn't she get back up? Because she didn't have any friends!

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roses are red violets are blue no one likes raisen bran except your mom

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A woman woke up next to her husband that was already awake. She said "F*** you" and walked out of the house. On the other side of the world, a horse is giving birth to a chihuahua.

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What do you call a blonde with big breasts? A woman. Some call her "mom".

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God.

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Why did the bus crash? Because the bus driver was a potato.

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Why was the man so cold? He was in a fridge

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A terrorist gets on a plane. He has a pleasant flight and gets off in a new country.

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What do you call a black man in a truck A driver

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Yo mama is so poor I saw her kicking a can down the street and asked her what she was doing? Her reply was: Kicking a can down the street. What did you think she was doing? Moving?

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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What is worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your worm!!!

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roses are red, violets are blue, your boyfriends thinks i'm hot that's why he dumped you

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What’s funnier than cancer? Most things, really.

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A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink The bartenders says no, because she is a woman, and he is a sexist Women are still not equally treated in this world

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Mel Gibson is awoken by the ringing of his telephone he proceeds to have a nice conversation with his wife.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was disturbed by two black men raping a young girl with leukemia.

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How do you make lady gaga angry? punch her in the face and throw her off a cliff

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What do you do if Zombies are chasing you and your friend? Trip the friend.

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? No, the impact of the colliding objects being the tree and the ground causes a disturbance in the silence thus causing a sound. The tree gets too much credit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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