roses are red violet is blue sugar is sweet f*ck you im a moon

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Q: What do you call an exact duplicate of Homer Simpson who's been enhanced with numerous special powers and a strength-boosting inducer among other beneficial additions? A: A mobidly overweigth individual who hasn't realized what the phrase, "Go on a diet", even denotes/implies.

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What do you call all of the skin around the vagina? a women

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse. The horse walks out of the bar kicking over some chairs and scaring some people because he is a horse and horses do not belong in public atmospheres.

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What's the difference between a duck? A toothbrush, because a car only has four doors!

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Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

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Punch line.

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What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter? Whatever his name is?

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Japanese study of the stereotypical American man: Murica: Come on come on! Japanese: Uh yes? *walks toward American* Murica: Are you okay?! Japanese: Well yes I am doi.. Murica: BUSTER WOLF *Punches Japanese which smacks into the ground critically wounded. Murican: OKAAAAAAAAAAAY! *throws dirty trucker cap at Japanese man and leaves.* BEWARE OF THE TYPICAL AMERICAN! Study 2 American man, taught Japanese Discipline: Japanese: Herrow Mr.Educated American *bows* "Japanesed Murican": *Fighting Pose* " I SHALL STAIN MY HANDS, WITH YOUR BLOOD!" *Japanese people run away* Experiment fail. BEWARE EXTREMELY OF AMERICAN MAN! Nero: Nuking Japan probably created a few controversies and wrong stereotypes... After visiting the US several times, I find these manners to be of the Texan stereotype though... Educated Murican: PREDICTABO!

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A clown walks into a bar and orders a pie. After about 2 minutes, the bartender gives him a pie. Later, a blonde walks into a bar and orders a cake. After about 1 minute, the bartender gives her a cake. Then a dog walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything because it's a dog.

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How do you get an annoying baby to shut up? Hit it with a bat

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whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

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When life gives you a pack of Kools, make Kool-Aid.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew -a pizza is food

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Shark week? More like owl week. Hoo!

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knock knock, who's there? you goodbye

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What happened to the cow that couldn't moo? It died because it could not make it's needs known to it's fellow herd and was bullied and isolated.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

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My love life

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What did one muffin say to the other? I'm baked... just kidding muffins are food and therefore can not speak

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once opon a time. never mind i'm just going to beat you kids.

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How did bob survive the explosion? He wasn't at the explosion.

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What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A person with light, yellowish hair who has a tragic genetic deformity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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