A man suffering from terminal cancer walks into a bar and orders a soda because his doctor advised him not to drink. The bartender and others in the establishment are completely unaware of his disability.

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What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

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A priest, a jew, and a pirate walk into a bar. An exchange of dialogue occurs with the bartender and hilarity ensues.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

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A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

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What's the difference between a duck? Both legs are of equal length, especially the right.

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EVAN RAMSEY -CAD CLASS!

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem is wrong As violets are violet

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What did the Holocaust survivor say when asked about their memories in the deathcamps? A: I'd rather not think about it.

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Why did the little boy have to go to the hospital? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a train.

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Q.What did the anti-joke reader say to the doctor? A-My finger is stuck on the dislike button.

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If you took all the veins in your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

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What's the same between a white guy and a black guy? They are both white except for the black guy.

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roses are red and violets are blue and i was going to write something that rimes but that is not funny here.

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A:how many notzies dose it change a light bulb B:none they made the jewish do it. :(

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up which puts resistance on his arms and therefore strengthens his arm muscles and performs physical exercise.

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names.

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what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

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Why did the girl commit suicide? She has been abused severely for seven years by her pet kangaroo.

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10 people walk into a bar. 6 hours later, 3 more people walk into the bar. There are now 12 people in the bar, and one corpse in the dumpster out back.

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A blonde walks into a bar; she orders and enjoys her drink and then leaves with her thirst quenched.

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What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for her birthday? A S.T.D

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you know your just like my pinkie toe........eventually i am going to bang you on a table

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? I don't keep a Ferrari in my garage. (????)?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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