What do you do when a bomb is exploding 2 inches away from you? You die.

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Q: what sport has a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? A:the NBA

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Why does Owen Wilson have an ugly nose? Because of his refusal to get plastic surgery.

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Ted Haggard.

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what's red and fluffy ... red fluff

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What did the blind, deaf, mute child get for Christmas? Leukemia

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What's the difference between a tiger and a shark? One's a land mammal.

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There once was a man from Nantucket Whose name was Mike

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what's bad about pushing your friend off a cliff? you can't do it twice

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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Why did the Italian family have spaghetti for dinner? Thats the only thing they had in the house

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had just been to their father's funeral, who was a Welshman.

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What squirts out of your butt and runs down your leg? Bloody diarrhea.

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What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

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What's worse than finding your cat dead? Finding your cat dead because it choked on your goldfish.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why'd he fall off again? Because we put him back on.

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Why is Scientology the Fastest Growing Religion of 21st Century? It isn't, its a cult.

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wheres binladin? at the bottom of the sea wanking over amy winehouse

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You have AIDS, I'm very sorry

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Women's rights

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Two doctors were performing open heart surgery on a 54-year old woman. The surgery was a success, and she is now living comfortably in Portland, OR. She enjoys sweet tea.

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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Q: Why can't Helen Keller have a baby? A: Because she is dead. ...I IS HORNY!

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What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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