So this guy is driving down the road and he is going real slow, he was going so slow in fact he wasn't even moving, because he was dead.

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Yo momma so fat you have aids

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what color is blue? green

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why is a squirrel called a squirrel? that's its name.

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Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

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Why did Jim fall out of the tree? Because Jim is a leaf.

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Whats yellow and shaped like a banana? Bananas

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Yo mama so ugly, she has to work harder than most women to attract men.

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Why did the african kid die He was mauled by a tiger in a zoo

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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What do you do when you eat a loaf of bread? You throw it up because your brother made it

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms, legs, and an eyepatch A: Names

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I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

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Two cows grazing by the road. One says hey what's all this about mad cows running around? I wonder what is it like? The other says I don't know I'm a helicopter.

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What do you call a black man that has sex with women against their will? A rapist. The fact that he is black does not pertain to this situation.

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A young boy is crying in the park, when priest walks up to him -What's the matter son? -My parents died in a horrible car accident 2 weeks ago and now i'm held in an abusive household.

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Roses are red, Stones are grey, This poem is obvious, You don't say??

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What do u call an anorexic with a yeast infection? -a quarter pounder with cheese. (not really anti-joke, im a girl and thought this was funny lol)

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All the planets are named after gods Ours is named after dirt....

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One day I walked into my backyard I saw a squirrel Then I was like oh hey squirrel

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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What did the umpire yell to the flatulent player at bat? FOUL BOWEL!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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