A man went into a bakers to buy a loaf of bread. The baker said 'What can i do for you sir?' The man said 'Id like a loaf of blue bread please.' Baker replied 'Sorry sir we only sell brown or white here.' 'Thats ok.' said the man, 'I have my bike outside.' [This joke was made up by myself and my school friends in 1975 age 15. We all told it for years - i still do - and cried with laughter whenever we heard it. We called them non jokes :-) ]

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Who looks like a bird and can fly to hogwarts? Dean McKee. his scar is f u c k i n g rotten

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I see London, I see France. Wow! This high-speed train that travels across Europe is amazing!

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How can you spot a blind person at a nudist colony? They might be carrying a white stick, or have a guide dog or someone to help them navigate the premises.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Jews

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What's the one good thing about being a paraplegic? Nothing.

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What happen to Teenage Mutain ninja turtals? Go Ninja Go.

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- what do u call a dead black person a problem - what do u call a lot of dead black people a big problem - what do you call a mass killing of all black people. genocide

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What's sad about a dead person? He was my friend.

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A dog walks into a bar. It was a bar in Taiwan, so they killed it and ate it.

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? No. Trees don't jump

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Hey did you see Helen Keller's dress? No, she's dead.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a mountainous mound of slain human offspring? There is none, the second is conferred to the subject of a conversation using a highly advanced vernacular.

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What's worse than 1 bee sting ? 2 bee stings What's worse than 2 bee stings ? the holocaust what's worse than the holocaust ? 3 bee stings

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What is invisible and smells like carrots? Invisible carrots.

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What happens when a jewish man, black man, asian and an amish man get on the same plane heading to Chicago? The reach their destinations safely and go their separate ways.

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What did Tiger Woods say when his wife hit him with a golf club? "Why did you hit me with a golf club".

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What do you call a cat with no tail? A Manx cat

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whats red and smells like blue paint? blue paint on the rag

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What did the soldier say when he got shot in the face? Nothing, he died.

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Why did the black man cry and scream? It's anybody's guess. He was having a rough day.

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get him a ladder and help him down.

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What's grey and can't fly? A castle

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt. He actually got halfway across the road and was struck by a fast moving car. There is now a memorial on the side of the road mourning his death...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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