Why did Susie fall off a swing? She had an inner ear infection.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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su algato es en fuego

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Whats worse than breaking your Xbox? Being raped by your dad.

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Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

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How do you make a baby be quiet when it is crying? slowly choke it to death

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What happens when you are caught in the serious offense of killing somebody with intent? You get in trouble.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

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A Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar. They end up getting into a heated argument. After about an hour of back and forth they decide that each person has a valid point, agree to disagree, and go about there business.

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what dyu call a bunch of white guys on a bench? the NBA

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how do you stop a baby from crying? hit it with a brick.

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What's big, wet and yellowish-green at midnight? I don't know. That's why I'm asking.

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Do you know the joke about the two guys who went to Paris ? Me neither.

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

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Q: Wanna hear a joke? A: the WNBA

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Q: why did the plain crash A: the driver is a loaf of bread

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why did the man die? He had a terrible form of flesh-eating bacteria and he suffered a lot of pain.

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Why did Dumbledore fall off the astronomy tower? Because Snape killed him.

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What did the fat man say to the Spaniard? Nothing. The Spaniard was skinny and so the fat man was jealous and shot him in the face.

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What has nine arms and sucks? An appendage-rich octopus with an inhaling habit.

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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What did the rich man say to the poor man? i feel sorry for you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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