What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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Knock knock. Why do you say the words "knock knock" without actually knocking on the door?

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Why did the cook put rubber bands in the spaghetti Because he was an asshole

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yo mama is so fat she has to wear large sized clothing

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Whats Brown and Sticky A) a stick

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whats first than finding a worm in your apple? a blonde who asks you why there is a worm in your apple

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What do you call a black man eating dessert? A man of African ancestry enjoying a sweet treat.

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Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

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What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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What's black, white, and can't turn around in a phone booth? A nun with a javelin through her chest.

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Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Clowns do not populate the area in which cannibals reside

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What did the Spanish immigrant say? Olah.

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As we had been trying for some months now, I called my wife to ask her the result of her pregnancy test. A stranger answered and promptly told me she was killed in a car crash.

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Why didn't Sarah come to school today? She had a heart attack and died.

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Q: What did the Rapist say to the Little girl before they got in to the Van? A: Get In the Van

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how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

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I got bored today and decided to surf the web. Thank you for reading this

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hello there. I am Elder Young and I with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. What would you say if someone were to offer you peace and happiness through all of eternity?

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette on an island. This island is called England, and this situation tends to happen a lot.

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Inspirational story: There once was an ugly old man who was so ugly everyone died. The end -Matt

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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