What do you call a Muslim in control of a plane? A pilot

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Racecar is spelled the same forwards and backwards. Masturbation does not work.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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What's better then petting a lion? Petting a lion and not getting eaten

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What happened to Kurt Cobain? He committed suicide. He shot himself in the head with a shotgun and then he died.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, so is my face, I'm constipated

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What isn't funny? The holacost.

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? I don't know it really depends on the car, usually about 2 in the front, 3 in the back and... That's about it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

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Wanna here a joke? Feminism.

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How do you lose your train of thought? You can't. It is impossible to fit a full size locomotive in the human skull.

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Why cant t-rexes clap their hands? They no longer exist

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How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.

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I was at the ocean, and I saw a screaming fish. Then it died.

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Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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Several men are in a bar a tall white man named James orders a round of shots for all of the people they all have a fun time untill James gets into a car with Derrick who is not sober they drive right into a sick childrens hospital and cause many frantic wild fires throughout the town. They all end up in jail for an unrelated cause

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They say that laughter is the key to a long life. What's the key to a short life? Death.

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why did the chicken cross the road because the farm is across the street from were it is now

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What did the jobless man get for Christmas? Fired...

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what did the cab driver say to the black man when he got into his cab? Where to, sir?

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How did the blonde burn her ear? In a terrible accident involving molten lava.

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what did the wall say to the floor? nothing interior structure supports do not talk

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Meh, I dont want it anymore! You can have it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops