This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There was a white man who sat on a log. then suddenly a Chinese man popped out and said he had to leave. he left.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What did Mr. Spoke say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you get a little kid out of a tree Throw a jar of foreskin at him

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats worse than the Holocaust. Nothing the Holocaust was the single worst thing to happen ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a book of notes? A notebook.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A boy walks up to a girl and says "Do you like ice cream? Cuz I have a huuuuuge penis."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a jewish womans boobs? JUBES!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

david give me my money back... i will have it next week

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

thumb_up thumb_down -20

His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the fish cross the road? Because fish don't have legs and can't walk anywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two guys walk into a bar. But the third one was a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great distance she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

When is a door not a door? Never, a door is an inanimate object and is thus incapable of transforming.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs sitting on your street corner? Suicidal.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How are Steve Jobs and the iPhone similar? They both keep getting thinner as time goes on.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a dolphin on a unicycle? You need medical help

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why was the boy sad? He had just had his legs amputated and will never walk again.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What are 3 skills black people have that they use for basketball? Great hand eye co-ordination, communication and encouragement.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

why did the doctor go to jail? he was found guilty of the murder and rape of a 6 year old boy.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did one theoretical physicist say to another theoretical physicist? Hey there Bill, how's Nancy and the kids doing?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops