You and your wife walk into a bar, you both order a drink and celebrate your good health.

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My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

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Okay, one second.

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What did the cat say at his mother's funeral? Nothing. He was too grief stricken over the loss of his beloved guardian.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, a bus hit it half way along and it died instantly.

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What's the easiest way to get a cat out of a tree? Call the fire department and allow them to safely reach the cat and properly extract it from the tree while you watch from below.

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Why does the man ignore his wife? Because he is dead.

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What did the falling bridge say to the other bridge? Well bridges can't talk but if it could it, then it would say AHH! I am falling

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Q: humpty dumpty sat on a wall A: yeah right

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whats black and large -me

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Why was the sock sad? Impossible. Socks dont have emotions.

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What did the school bully get for his birthday? Beaten by his alcoholic father. Children are a product of their environment and his father's abusive nature towards his son forced the young boy to act out in class giving him the reputation of a bully.

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Every circle of friends has a "crazy one". If you can't figure out who the "crazy one" in your group is... Try harder. Either that or you are a terrible judge of character.

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Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally! How did Sally die? She couldn't figure out how to open the fridge

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Adele Gordon walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' Because she is a horse lol.

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- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

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What causes floods? Too much water.

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

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Whats worse than breaking your toe? Being raped

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so one day i was getting my daughter artemisia ready for school and so i came in her room and got her pants and so i put it on and then i said did you grow during the summer really did you and then she said daddy both of my feet are stuck on one side of the leg

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i did ur mom lol. thats the joke. : )

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poop is very very yummy.

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Roses are Roses Violets are Violets I am to Literal, That is a statement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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