knock knock! fu ck off i'm a shift worker trying to sleep

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Why doesn't Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesn't float!

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Why should you never push a Mexican off a bike? Because he will file a lawsuit against you in the event of an injury.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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How many midgets does it take to change a light bulb? If you do the math, it's probably one.

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Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

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what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

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Why did the monkey fall of the tree? Because Newtons law states that we are all under the influence of gravity and hence an object, in this case the monkey, will fall down if it failed to stay on the tree.

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The Police then give the S.W.A.T team the signal, and bust down the door and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door is Carlos Pedrojeuz, a serial killer, meth addict who has been a part of the sex slave trade for a decade. One might think of answering the door next time.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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Whats more sad then four black men in a car driving off a cliff? The man they stolen the car from doesn't have car insurance.

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What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

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What's the difference between a black person and a park bench? Benches are inanimate objects while people are indeed carbon-based life forms.

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck says "Got any grapes?"

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what is worse than falling off a bridge? .. getting pushed off a bridge

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What do you get when you combine KIA and NOKIA? A cheap vehicle with a cheap mobile phone inside.

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I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

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haha

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 eight 9

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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