Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was holding on to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Pier pressure.

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What's Blue And Fat? A Brick. I like to lie a lot.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

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What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

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Q: Whats worse than 5,000,000 African Americans being killed? A: 1 White person being killed

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What did the man do when he saw the dog? Ran it over

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Once upon a time, there was a Y O U M A D and they all lived happily ever after.

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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How do you make a chicken laugh. By showing it how to cross the road

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What happened to the boy who tried to cross the road? He got hit by a semi-truck and died.

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How do you become a multi-trilionere? Get bored...

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Q: how many oxen does it take to row up the empire state building in half of a green canoe under the purple sun while eating a dead moose with no arms? A: Purple, because snakes have no elbows.

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Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

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Q: How do you shoot blue flames from your hands? A: You start to duck and lean forward quickly before you fully reach to duck as you punch as hard as you can, a blue flame should come out as Japanese bullshit automatically spews out of your mouth. It should not take more than a try or two...

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What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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what kind of dog can tiptoe

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Sarah Palin walks into a bar and the bartender tells her to get the f*&k out.

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What's worse than dying? Dying poor.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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What did the gay guy get at the grocery store? A tub of Häagen-Dazs ice cream because he thought he deserved a treat.

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Why didn't Timmy have a girlfriend ??? Because he's a Fruit bowl !

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops