- Anti Joke

Wade's the father

How do you fall off a building... JUMP.

What do a helicopter and a banana have in common? They are both edible. Except for the helicopter.

A man is driving down a back country road in an old beat up car going 30 mph when he notices a black horse and a white horse keeping pace with him. They keep up with him for a few miles before passing him and turning into a farm on the road. The man is quite impressed with the horses speed and follows them to the farmer and offers the farmer living there the horses in exchange for the car. The farmer says the horses are bad luck but accepts the trade, and the man walks off with the horses. The man then enters the horses in a big horse race and puts a lot of money on them. The horses immediately take the lead and are about to finish the race when the black horse trips and the white horse goes back to pick him up and end up losing. The man is furious and returns the horses to the farmer and gets his car back. The next day another man is driving in a nicer car down the same road going 50 mph when the black horse and the white horse run right past his car. Impressed with the horses speed the man trades his car to the farmer who warns him about the horses. Ignoring the farmer's warning the man enters the horses in a new race. The horses once again take the lead and are close to finishing first and second when the black horse trips and the white horse goes and picks him up again once again losing their lead. The man angrily returns the horses in exchange for his car. The next day a third man drives down the same road in a brand new sports car. While he's testing the limits of the car the horses catch up to him and run with him. Surprised by the speed of the horses the man speeds up in his car but the horses manage to keep up. The horses eventually run past the man and turn into their farm, and the man looks down and realizes that the horses had been running faster than 120 mph. The man goes to the farmer and offers his car in exchange for the horses. The farmer accepts but gives the man the same warning he gave the two men earlier. The new man just like the other two men ignores the warning and enters the horses into a race and bets a lot of money on them. This time the horse take the lead out of the gate but feet from the finish line the white horse trips and falls. The black horse seeing this goes back and helps him up once again losing the race. The man is disgusted and releases the horses into the city in hopes that they'll die out there. The two horses are wander into a bar, and the bartender looks at them and says: "hey you two why the long face?"

how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

Adam: knock knock!! Eve: who's there? Adam: don't be silly, just open the f*cking door!!

like a cammel, lewis stores his weed in his back

A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

Guess what?? What? I murdered your mother with a slimy piece of ham.

Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

What is Ron afraid of? Spiders!

A man cheats on his wife and ruins his marriage of 24 years.

Q: what do you call obama A:a dumbass

Gun laws don't work because criminals don't pay attention to the laws

What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers

Why couldn't the convicted felonist come back to America? He lost his passport.

What did Little Jimmie say to his mom when he got home frome school? Nothing his moms dead.

Why did John fall off his bike? Because, he is a fish and fish cannot ride bikes.

how many blonds does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one, because she is an intelligent and capable woman

Person A said: Knock Knock! Person B could not answer the door as he could not hear Person A's announcement of his or her arrival.

Q: How do you confuse more than 80% of the population? A: Mushrooms.

Bob:well Joe, its been tough latley, I hats my life Joe: I don't give a tuck, ur retarded, you have never had any friends and I am sure that the school will have a pep fest when u hang ur self in ur bedroom. So go now! I don't know why u even r talking to me and I don't know why I am responding

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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