Why did the pie cross the road? I have no idea, why not ask it?

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What do you call a muslim on an airplane? A airline passenger.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? A blonde is a human woman and a bowling ball is an inanimate object used for the popular sport of bowling.

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roses are red violets are green id love to flick owen cliffords mams bean

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A Bull walks into a bar. it killed three people by the fact it was a Bull

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why did the monkey buy a shoe? to put em on!!!!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A worm in your intestinal tract.

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how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

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How did Bob survive the plane crash? He didn't

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Whats worse than passing out drunk and having your friends draw on your face? When you die of alcohol poisoning in the morning

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

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What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a car.

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Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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How do you stop the baby from touching the stove? Cut of its arms.

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What did the plane say to the twin towers? Boom

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Why didn't the Mexican kid go to school? Because he was sick.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Tourette's, Cheese on toast.

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a black guy a chinese guy a jewish guy and a gay guy are standing on a ledge. they are all ready to jump off and commit suicide. suddenly a basketball falls from the sky. the black guy is like oh shit that my bball. he cant resist, he jumps off the ledge, grabs the ball, spins in mid air, and shoots it through the window that they came out of. then he falls to his death. the other three guys are questioning whether they wanna actually kill themselves when all of a sudden a jiggly dildo flies past. the gay guy sees it, and he needs it in his butthole. he jumps off, grabs the dildo, shoves it in his ass, and falls to his death. the chinese and the jew are the last alive. they decide that they dont want to die and they start crawling back towards the window. then out of nowhere, two quarters and a nickel shoot up from the ground, right in front of them. the jew needs them. he jumps off the ledge and pockets the change. then he falls to his death. the chinese guy is the last one alive. he jumps off and falls to his death.

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is killing is family.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? a new bike.

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A man walks in to a wooden door. He's blind.

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knock knock, who's there, white, white who, white van, RUN!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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