What's red and green? A frog in a blender!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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a man walks into a bar the bar tender says why the long face? i just walked into a bar

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

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A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

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What did the poor sickly orphan get for Christmas? Nothing.

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In the time it has taken you to read this, a small African child has died.

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a red sports car? A red sports car was never a living organism.

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Firgen and the blung brigade

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What is worse than losing your phone charger... Being viciously raped by a group of angry vegans feminist mad at you for eating a burger, while walking out of Hooters.

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Schizophrenia will affect over 1.5 million people this year. At least, thats what my flying, albino pet rhinoceros told me.

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What's funnier then an anti-joke? People who fail at making them.

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Knock knock? Whose there? Who's. Who's who? No you used the wrong form of who's.

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How did the boy get a bruise? His mum threw a fridge at him! How did the boy get a big graise? He got mulched! Why did the boy get molested? Because he was naked in Mr. Molestogiacomo's house!

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What do you call a man with an arrow to the knee? An ambulance because he's got a serious leg injury right there.

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You know that song "FIrework" by Katy Perry? Well, I ate a hotdog last night.

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What do you call 100 black men at the bottom of the ocean? A scuba group because during these hot summer months they like to cool off and go scuba diving.

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So a man walks into a bar, he meets a few friends, has a few beers, and at the end of the night he calls a cab to drive him home

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What's better than r a p e? Consensual sex.

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What is the differnece between the chair and the pot? You can't cook in the chair.

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Your momma is so fat that she is on a diet and exercises regularly.

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so 3 guys walk into a bar.....the 4th one ducks

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Toaster

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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