What happend when Chuck Norris did a push up? He did one push up.

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What's red and smells like cherries. Cherries

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I'm shy. The last shitbender. How do you fit babies in that bowl? Get a blender.

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yo mamas so young shes gonna b born soon

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Are you kidding? If you can slow down time when stressed, then that means that your perception of time is, well... Oh relative, but still wow! What about now though? Can you do it? And for curiosity`s sake, what if you jumped off a roof? Would the stress make it all really slow?

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Sometimes I fantasize about having sexual relations with Oprah Winfrey. Sometimes I don't.

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what do you call a man without an umbrella? wet

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What did the farmer say when he lost his donkey? "Oh no, my donkey is my livelihood and the only means I have of supporting my family. Now, we shall surely starve."

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whats up and also down? your mum

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How do you kill a mocking bird. Shoot it.

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Hitler: A jew walked into a bar... jokes, it was a gas chamber

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Do Minnesotans have accents? Oh ya, you betchya.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guiar who? Violin.

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Why did Martian Luther King climb the mountain? Because there was a KFC on top

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whats the difference between chuck norris and a normal human being? nothing

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What did grandma get little Benjamin for Christmas? Nothing, she died last year

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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? At the bottom.

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What Do You Call a Black Man With a Gun?? A Cop

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What is the difference between a brick and a ginger? The entirety of their chemical make up and physical appearance.

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Why did the black basketball team beat the white basketball team? They practiced more

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

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You're Like A Book I Want To Put You Down

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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