what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

thumb_up thumb_down -24

An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How did little Sally break her Nintendo DS? Her abusive father repeatedly abused her and punished her until she was thrown into a stone wall. As she went into the wall she crushed by another wall and broke the DS.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind. Also, she's been dead for 43 years.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what's faster than a snail? Usain Bolt

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Do you want to hear a joke? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man walks into a bar. He suffered concussions later that night.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

ey can i pick your scabs plzz

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What does a grandmas vagina taste like? Depends.

thumb_up thumb_down -1,508

How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A guy walks into a bar. Yep.. that's it.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +6,329

What do you call a hamburger with nothing inside of it? A virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar, it's funny because he is an alcholholic

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Ding Dong! Who's the - - - wait - - - I don't have a doorbell.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

So this guy is driving down the road and he is going real slow, he was going so slow in fact he wasn't even moving, because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why didn't the Country club waiter enjoy iced tea? He's simply always had a preference for warm beverages. He assumes this goes back to his infant days when his mother would massage his belly with warm porridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What do grizzly bears and people have in common? Neither can survive in outer space, due to depressurization, lack of oxygen, and absence of basic survival needs.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whay did the monkey fall out of the tree? he was dead. why did the cat fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many Bedouins do you need to change a light bulb? 2, one is changing the bulb and the second is powering the generator.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops