Yo mama is so fat!

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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A dog walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out as animals are not allowed.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, this is stupid, Violets are purple Violets are purple Oranges are orange Nothin' rhymes with orange wait.... DOORHINGE!!!!! -sincerely, That famous Orange on YouTube

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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What's big, wet and yellowish-green at midnight? I don't know. That's why I'm asking.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain. Chuck promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense.

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How could you wake up Lady Gaga? poke her face

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;( ;( ANTIJOKE Write Your Own --------------------------------------------------------- It's easy to take part, just type your text below! Enter the following: I AM NOT A HUMAN Your Answer SOLVE media I AM NOT A HUMAN I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service Submit

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Yo mama so fat she runs the risk of stroke, heart disease, or diabetes

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How do you stop the unstoppable You dont

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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I may have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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Why did the man stop chewing gum? I threw a grenade at him.

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"why did the cheese not go to church on sunday" "because it was jewish"

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An man walked into a bar. Unbeknownst to him, the bar happened to be a having a Rave party. The man, having epilepsy, proceeded to have a seizure. Luckily, a paramedic was there and saved his life.

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Roses are red violets are blue come on love show me you boobs/by kw

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had no conscience and therefore was not able to backup the very reason that he crossed the road.

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What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

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What computer sings the best? A Dell? No a Mac, because they are the superior computer.

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Do you know why this joke isn't funny. It's punchline is bad.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was diagnosed with cancer and didn't want to live any more

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Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... two pregnancy scares...whats worse than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

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Why do dogs chase squirrels? Beacuse dogs have very low attention spands and also chase cars and cats.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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