Mary- Hey Dallas, do you have a suitcase? Dallas- Yeah, why? Mary- I need a suitcase

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender says "what'll it be?" The bartender is then sent to a medical clinic after letting several wild animals into his bar and proceeding to feed them alcoholic drinks. He is diagnosed with schizophrenia.

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What's big, an instrument, has black and white keys, and is located in the bathroom? I don't know. A piano. But why in the bathroom? Don't tell me how to furnish my house.

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What sound did the man make? Splatt. He fell off a building.

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What happened when the turtle rolled over on his back? It proceeded to die because it couldnt find a way to roll over. An African tribe then decided to make the recently decised turtle into a delicious soup that lasted him and his family three days.

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how do you kill Lady Gaga? with a gun.

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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Why cant Michael Jackson take flying lessons? Because he overdosed on pain killers, and is now dead.

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A Penguin Waddles into Abercrombie and Fitch.

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Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

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A woman should not be in the kitchen.

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why was the old woman angry? fig pudding.

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Why are pigs smelly ? Because a cucumber can't walk.

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Q: Why did the black man have a gun? A: We was recently indicted for insider trading and preferred suicide to a long prison sentence.

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Two friends sit down at a table for lunch. One, in a very frustrated mood, says to the other, "You know what I don't get?" His friend immediately responds: "Sex."

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No Ok

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Sarah Palin

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what's 6 inches long and women love? my penis

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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Don't you hate it when ads just [CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS!* Please click this ad, so you can give us your full name, address, phone number, bank account number, pin number and mail your credit card to us, then you will receive your MILLION DOLLARS!* (you may or may not receive one million dollars) Thank you.] pop up anywhere these days?

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What did one Stoner say to the other? "I'm hungry, let's order pizza."

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Whats black,white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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A pair of brothers walked into a bar. It was where the wake was being held from their mother's funeral.

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whats a joke... Parker Coffey at life

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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