What'd the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Just Dance 2 the video game

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a black man with a club? Tiger woods.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Why was Susie's mom crying? Because Susie got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Who is the best person to do your nails with? Nobody, you have no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

68

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Yup, I 100% agree with all the jokes that were made below this post. Chad's pretty gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

what do you call a man in a hole Fill

thumb_up thumb_down -1

There was a Mexican in a bomb shop ?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Jake not get on the bus? Answer: Because Jake is a dog. Dogs are not allowed on the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +226

what did the homeless man get for Christmas? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

a boy fell in mud... a kid took a bath with bubbles... bubbles was the girl next door!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

a white man a black man and an asian man had a few drinks at a bar. they all died from alcohol poisoning

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's worse than waking up with a clown in your bed? Waking up with a dead clown in your bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you get for the man that has everything already? Another one.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the family have no Christmas tree this year? Because they are Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops