Why did i drink 4 sodas? Because i was thirsty

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What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a fox stapled to his face.

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What's worse than seeing another antijoke with "The Holocaust" punchline repeated? The Holocaust.

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What's the difference between an orange? Mooses don't like to wear sweater-vests.

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Were you born on a freeway? because thats were all accidents happen.

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Why am I writing this? Cuz I am eating babies alive right now!

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Why did the addict choke himself with a trash bag? His family couldn't afford a funeral and it was the quickest way to disappear.

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Guess what my grandma told me yesterday.. Nothing she's dead.

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Smoke Day, Every Weed.

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Why did was micheal jackson named micheal jackson? because his was

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What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet

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Black people having a Job.

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Whats worse then a hundred dead babies? One trying to eat its way out.

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Why don't women drive more? Because statistically the man offers to drive more frequently

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A Woman Left The Kitchen. Then Was Promptly Ordered To Go Back.

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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Whats white and can't climb trees? A Fridge

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruising at about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, the cops were waiting. He was found guilty in court and forced to pay the blonde a settlement of $250, 000.

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what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

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How did the stapeler disappear? I ate it.

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Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

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Whats black and blue and doesnt bruise? a bruise.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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