A man walks into a bar. He has a drink. Then goes back home.

what did the nazi say to the jew? hi

What do you get when you mix Obama and Chief Keef? OBLLAMA

Why did the guy die? He had a fatal heart attack.

Why did the man laugh when he saw someone using a shake weight? He remembered Dane Cook's stand up preformance from the night before.

A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

What did one black guy say to the other black guy? I haven't thought of it yet....

aodhan hearty is a fruit fly

A woman walks into a cave, and the entrance collapses. She spends two days in the cave. She comes close to death, due to lack of nutrition, but is thankfully rescued by a dog walker. She spends several days in hospital recovering. The experience really opens her eyes to life, and she learns not to take her loved ones for granted, and to really make the most of her life. Finally she is allowed to go home. The next day, she is hit by a bus.

How do you get a pirate out of your seat? Politely ask him to move for you were there first.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 3

How come Helen Keller never played professional baseball? Because she was a woman

Why did Suzie fall of the swing? The chain broke.

roses are red violets are blue the thing in the toilet reminds me of you :)

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills.

If you die, and have 5 cents in your pocket, does the toast still land jelly side down?

whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

Why does my friend pick up garbage? Because he is a garbageman.

A guy is playing cod

What has 4 legs and doesn't bark? A dead dog.

What do you call an African American who flies a plane? A Pilot

What is brown and sticky? Black tar heroin.

why do firemen wear red suspenders. I dont know because they go with there hat.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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