What do you call it when you almost win? You lose.

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Why is Chuck Norris so frickin awesome? He just is cause he's chuck norris

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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What's the difference between a large pizza and a black man? The pizza is a delicious Italian classic dish, while the latter is a human being which man frown at the notion of consuming.

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If life throws you melons, you should do your best to avoid them. Large and hard objects such as melons can easily harm you if moving at high speeds. Fortunately, life is not a physical entity that can throw melons or anything else - so the chances of this event occurring to you are exceedingly low.

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How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: That's not funny.

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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1 black guy jumped off a cliff at the same time as a white guy, who fell first? The one who weighed the most.

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

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Why is Helen Keller Blind and Deaf? Because she can't drive!... oh no wait I screwed that up.

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Dick Chaney

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Why did the little boy die? He had cancer.

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roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? To save the endangered child from getting hit by a car across the street.

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How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Through forceful action.

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Zombies eat brains! (You're safe)

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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Q: who's Snow White's brother A: egg white Get the yolk!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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