Why did the princess kiss the frog? She really wanted a wart.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Not your dead mom.

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John Hammond from 'Jurassic Park' looks like KFC's Colonel Sanders. Which is ironic, since chickens are descended from dinosaurs...

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Why does Owen Wilson have an ugly nose? Because of his refusal to get plastic surgery.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Who. Who who? "My name ism't really who, it's Thomas. I thought it'd be funny if I made you say who who, as though imitating an owl. However, I understand that childish jokes like that are not funny and if anything stupid and immature. I am sorry for wasting your time. I will go continue my solitary life alone in a crappy tenement... Damn government. They have money to fight wars against foreign countries and yet no money goes to feeding the poor. Do you think life of easy for me loving like this?! I'm such a lost cause not even my own parents want to see me! And I'll be damned if they're still alive. A dad who beat me and got drunk even night, and a mom with breast cancer"(Thomas, overwhelmed, proceeds to have a mental breakdown). The man at the door comes out to comfort him. "It's alright man. i'll help you out." He let's Jeffrey stay with him for the next four months. They both get raped by a T-Rex.

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What do you want to be when you grow up? I want to be a .... The boy didn't finish his sentence because he got hit by a fridge.

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What did peter griffin say to the black guy? Oh you are black.

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What did the scarf say to the hat? Nothing, a scarf can't talk.

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What's cool about a dead fish? Nothing.

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Kid: knock knock Orphan: whos there? Kid: not your parents

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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Q. What is Black, White, and Red all over?? A. A girl just having sex and her Cherry broke all over your dick..

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Where did Lil' Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What do you call a person without a heart? Not alive.

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Did you ever hear about that rich Mexican?? No. Yeah, me neither.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

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"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

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10 people walk into a bar. 6 hours later, 3 more people walk into the bar. There are now 12 people in the bar, and one corpse in the dumpster out back.

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a guy asks another guy if he likes pepsi or coke the guy says coke and he doesnt agree so he kills him

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Why did Bob stop at the light? Because it was red and not doing so would be illegal.

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Whats Barack Obama's favorite number ? 7

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Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It didn't, a cookie is a food, therefore it doesn't have working organs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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