What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

roses are red violets are blue pornhub is down ya mums facebook will do

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you keep a woman from driving your car? Shoot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the easiest way to load dead babies into a tractor trailer? Pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Here isa poem from a dog Roses are gray violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A baby seal walks into a bar... The bartender looks at it and says: too young.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

thumb_up thumb_down +4

i hate when your sentence doesn't end as you testicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Nothing if you heard a loud sound or something that was me dropping the phone, by accident, its busted, I will call you when and if all of your "facts" turn out to be true, Hey, had no idea my doppelganger would be so down to earth by the way, so I am sleepy, what about you?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Do you know what's the difference between a bicycle and a black man? A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +3,865

Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

thumb_up thumb_down -36

How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's white and horny? a unicorn.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did Sam have no friends? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why didn't the boy's parents throw him a birthday party? Because his father is in jail for drug possession and his mother is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

why is 6 afraid of 7 because seven is black

thumb_up thumb_down -9

An American, an English and a Scottish got in the bar and ordered the same drink. After that they left.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what did one black man say to the other black man? hello

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A duck, a mailman, and a poet were contemplating suicide, then they changed their minds.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Whats red and smells like black paint Red paint

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops