Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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What was the biggest party of 2010? The Democrats.

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Why was the woman happy to give birth to a beautiful, healthy child? Just kidding, she had an abortion.

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whats round red and taste like candy? such a thing doesn't exist

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how did the guy in the wheelchair cross the road he didnt he got dragged down the street cause his chair was hooked to the bus

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

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How do you get 100 Jews into a Volkswagon? You don't. It's impossible to fit that many people into a car that small.

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Your mom is so dirty, She smells.

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Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You have AIDS, I'm very sorry

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Why did Hitler Commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed by the fact he had lost World War II.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he was greeting his new neighbors that moved in across the street. He was very friendly.

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Why was the baby crying? Because it was on fire.

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Whats worse than getting a parking ticket? The Bubonic Plague

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Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill called the paramedics

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Yo mama so fat she at the rest of this joke.

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What did the man say to the bartender when he wanted a beer? Get me a beer.

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? Because his parents are dead.

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Yo Mama is so fat She wears XL clothes.

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Why did the chicken successfully cross the road? It didn't in the middle of the street it got hit by a car.

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Corn Muffins

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Dude, that's not banana ice cream...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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