what's a self-driving car 10 years from now? probably just "a car".

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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Three blind mice go into a pub, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

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Q: Why did the policeman stare at the big-breasted victim? A: She was dead.

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What did the taxi friver say to the man? "You forgot your briefcase"

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WHAT THE BABIES?!

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Your Momma is so fat when she pressed "up" on the elevator it went crashing down.

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How long does it take to build a wall? it depends on how big he wall is

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What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

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What does Chuck Norris do when he breaks his legs? he calls a doctor.

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Q. Where do polar bears vote? A. The North Poll

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I have cancer.

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What did the toaster say to the bread? Nothing. Toasters can't talk.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Oh, And one of them has a penis.

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jim Come on in!

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A man walks into a bar. He then says "ow".

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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Why did the Jews go into the shower? Because they had just finish a basketball game and they needed to freshen up.

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A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

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What do you get when you cross a taco with a a bungee cord? An inedible taco.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? He got many things, because everyone felt bad for him. Someone even brought him into their house so he could have Christmas dinner. On Christmas Day someone gave him fifty dollars to spend on food for his family. Only thing is, he didn't have a family.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you

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your mom is so stupid that she is suffering from down's syndrome, and has a shorter life expectancy than normal people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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