Cut off your fingers and lose weight fast!!!

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There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who understand binaryy and those who dont.

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Stewie: MOM! MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMA! MOMMY! MOM! MOMMA! MOMMY! MOM! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! LOIS! Lois: WHAT!!! Stewie: Hi, hehehehehehe. Family Guy -Louis

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man: why did the chicken cross the road? other man: why ? man: i don't know, ask him your self. other man: ...

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I just found my mum has Alzheimer's, I hope it isn't contagious cause my mum has it too

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What happened when the black guy looked up his family tree? He discovered long-forgotten relatives who had lived during difficult times for African-Americans in the United States and faced disenfranchisement, extrajudicial killings, and chattel slavery. His sense of racial consciousness and solidarity was thereby reinforced.

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When the boy cried wolf who heard him? Not Helen Keller

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Who is stupid and no one likes him. Me. :(

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what happened to the farm animals? They were slaughtered and their parts were sold as meat, glue and other useful materials

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Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. -Are u a grapefruit? NO!

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What did the man do when he dropped his bar of soap. He picked it up

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A- Why did the chicken cross the road? B- I honestly do not care.

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? most likely one unless there is physical disability that makes this person incapable of this action

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Why did a homeless man eat another man's face off? Because he was hungry.

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why didn't the mexiczn eat the black man's cooking? because it wasn't good

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What is white and is sometimes drunk? Milk.

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What's black and white and enforces the rules at football games? A referee? Wow you're really smart.

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What happened when Chuck Norris tried to divide by zero? He found that he was not very good at math, and moved on to another joke concerning himself.

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What's brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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What's worse then three frogs playing leap frog? Nothing that would be awesome

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Can you see this brett? Connor

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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whats the best selling shampoo for children and family? gerrmany's shampoo german engineering. i'm not sure I get anti jokes wait you don't need engineering for soap? HITLER DID -audience- thats mean who else was mean? uhh Mao? Stalin? STDS? -audience- no HITERWAS MEAN wat happen to him he became the leader and fuher of germany and was onn world domination? no he died abullet and a pill died killed him oh god 11 million people died because of him and we make jokes about it -its ANITjokes okay? t make this S$75 any better doesn't revive the fallen -okay......... LOL I bet that soap was actually eaten before by actidneet -jesus shutup okay ok.. sorry man .. wait man? single person? but waht abut "audience" I guess I want a crowd as big as hitlers but all I get is my twisted autism - billy turner died from autism and arrested for practicing naziism in public.

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Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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