Somebody has robbed your house, how do you gather evidence? Look for traces of watermelon or chicken bones.

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Hellen Keller

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What happens when you die? Your body gets decomposed by bacteria

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roses are flowers violets are too violets are purple not fuing blue

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What did the 80 year old man do to celebrate valentines day with his wife? Nothing, Alzheimer's made him forget about Valentines day.....and that he was married. What did his wife do for Valentines day? Killed herself.

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What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench Men enjoying a day in the park

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What's black, white, has green stripes and smells like eggs? I don't know. That's why I'm asking.

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Jesse is so fat that Roy is jealous of his big ass tits

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A black man, a jew, and an atheist are on a boat. Suddenly the boat started sinking. A mermaid would only save two of them. who do did she save? Mermaids don't exist. The all died. They were my friends.

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Why didn't suzzana go to school on Monday?? Because it was Sunday...I lied about it being monday

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What starts with F and ends with Uck? F U C K

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

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what did God say when He saw a black man? Oops I urnt one.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's a woman.

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A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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Why do black people like chicken? It's usually fried.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Why didn't Sally get back up? She had no legs Guess who's getting prosthetic legs for Christmas! Not Sally.

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That Rachael chick needs to get back in the kitchen

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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roses are red, violets are blue, apparently you are blind or else I wouldn't be telling this to you.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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Women

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Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

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Why did the student shoot his teacher? Because he was super depressed and was just diagnosed with stage four brain cancer. And he was black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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