do want to hear a joke? Women's rights

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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How do you piss off a jew slash his tires

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So Mel Gibson walks into a bar, and then everyone left.

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Why was the blonde walking funny? She had a ten foot long metal bar shoved up her butt, and it was very painful to walk.

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Roses are red, violets are blue something stinks and I think it's you!

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Why did the Football Coach go to the Bank?? To Cash his Paycheck.

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Who is big and stupid My brother

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Why are black people so tall? Jesus was also black and therefore gives black people some favorable traits.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and your mom? Your mom's a bitch.

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teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

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What does it mean if you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars? You both have five dollars

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A man walks into a bar and takes his seat. After a minute, someone shouts "133!" and this is followed by a couple of slight chuckles around the room. Later, "57!" is heard from the corner, followed by harsh laughter. After a while, someone shouts "66!" which is met by an uproar of uncontrollable laughter. The man, confused by the evening's events, asks the barmam what is going on. The barman explains, every joke has been told countless times so instead of reciting them, they are numbered and people call out the numbers. The man catches on to this, and therefore shouts "453!" which is followed by a deadly silence, because no one had heard that particular joke before, so 453 was just a number to them.

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Your so dumb, you didn't notice I should have used you're. Don't lie

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Why did the penis cross the road? Because a man was humping the chicken

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Five Mexicans were driving down the motorway in a Ford. Must've been a Fiesta.

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A homeless man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What will it be?" The homeless man says, "Nothing. I have no money."

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What did the boy say to the ghost wearing a banana outfit? Holy crap! A ghost!

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Guess what? what. You guessed it!!

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Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

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There are 263 birds on a fence, a farmer shot 1 how many are left? 0 the rest flew away.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gate open and chickens typically wonder with no obvious pattern to their movements.

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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F: what is BLUE and has 400 whells ? Q: NOTHING !!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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