whats worse than shitting in a urinal??? shitting in a shower

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What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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A Muslim and 2 French people walked into a bar They start to have a nice conversation about Charlie Hebdo

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Why did the boy cry Because he fell

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Q: What do you call a real joke on anti joke A: Someone obviously don't understand the concept of this website

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Why do black people eat at KFC? Because KFC serves good food at reasonable prices.

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What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

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What is the difference between a botlle of sun lotion and a Mexican? A bottle of sun lotion contains a lotion that protects your skin against the sun, and a Mexican is a person from Mexico.

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Why should this joke be funny? It shouldn't, because its an anti-joke.

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What did Batman's mother say when it was time for dinner? Nothing, Batman's parents are dead.

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Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. A family is tied-up and screaming for help in my basement.

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-Knock Knock -Whos there? -The police -OH SHIT

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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Why did the girl drop her sucker? she was hit by a truck!

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What did the Batman say to the Joker? "I am the Batman."

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Whats wrong Nero? What happened? Please pick up the phone, I am trying to call you, but it just goes from dialing to changing tunes, please do not be upset with me, what did I do wrong? I thought we had an understanding, please just pick up the phone, if you already have my number and all you got nothing to lose...

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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Why did the girl fall from the tree? Gravity.

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What is the best thing the French ever invent The two piece

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Billy was curious if gasoline burns, so he decided to...... .... O crap I'm late for Billy's funeral.

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What do you call it when a blonde jumps off the Empire State Building without a parachute? Suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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