Q:Where does a woman work at if she has a job? A: IHOP!!!

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Dear Sarah, My name is Jesse, and I am severely overweight. BOUNCE ON MY DICK LIKE TYGA BITCH, Your lover, Jesse.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

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how do you get rid of diahreah? Shove pepto bismo up your butt.

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Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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What happened to the boy who ate a piece of his Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

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An owl turns to the other owl. He has to, he can't move his eyes.

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The joke below me was written by someone who was mauled by a panther and raped by a tribe.

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Why can't a T-Rex masturbate? Because dinosaurs have been extinct nearly 65 million years, due to an asteroid collision with the Earth

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Whats green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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you: have you seen the movie constapated them:no you:its because it hasen't come out yet

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Tommy got neutered.

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-Knock, knock. -Who's there? -The pest control guy. -Please leave me alone I'm giving birth.

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How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

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Vote this up or I'll tell my mum!

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man: hey whats that in the corner? Bartender: thatssteve his wife left him and he is trying to drown his saddness is addiction.

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What did the homeless man's sign say? It didn't say anything. You had to read it.

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-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

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Why you don't laught when you see a black guy on a scooter? Because it could be your.

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Scenario: 2 people are in a desert. There is only 1 bottle of water left to drink. Who drinks it? Neither of them, they drink the gallon bottle of gatorade instead.

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A dog walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer The barman replies : Woof Woof

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A man with a magic watch says to a prostitute, "My magic watch says you are wearing any underwear." "YOU HAVE MAGIC WATCH?! Can it tell time too??!!!"

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What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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Whats the difference between a person with cancer and breakfast? Breakfast is important

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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