How did the magician make it look like there are 2 books on the table? By putting 2 books on the table

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Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game.

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If there's a clown in a blender, how do you get him out? Tostitos.

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Why is your dad gay? Because he takes an enjoyment in a mans dick

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a man runs into a bar and screams, he is sent to a doctor for a minor concussion and receives some stitches. He recovers over time and gets on with his life.

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What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Your mama's so fat, she gets confused with Santa Claus.

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? “How was your day?“

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Today I had sex with a married man, but thats OK he's my husband

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I hope your not allergic to bees Because your about to be attacked by a live tiger.

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What do owls and cars have in common? Nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

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Yo Mama is like a gas station:pump and pay.

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How do black people get rich? They collect welfare checks.

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what's pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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Why did the surrealist go to the doctor? Knock Knock.

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A jewish man is sitting on a bench. A german man then proceeds to sit down next to him. They say nothing to each other.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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Q: what did the emo girl use to check her email? A: A computer.

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Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

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A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." and then the mushroom walks out.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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