How many kids with A.D.D. does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride?

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She had finished her breakfast and had to get to her job as a firefighter.

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stop it ryan vallee

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Turkey Balls

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how do you get a black guy out of a tree? ask himnicely and if he doesn't promptly call the fire department

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Dear Jim, I have a problem with my Hymen... "Jim'll fix it for you..."

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What word starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? Firetruck!

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Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Herman Cain

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6 in every 9 people find a dirty reference in every joke. This statistic is in fact false, as 5 in 9 people actually find a dirty reference.

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Batman, Superman, Spiderman and Wonder Woman walk into a bar. The bartender decides to ruin the joke by saying nothing.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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An Indian, American and French man walk into the bar simultaneously. Unfortunately, they get stuck in the door.

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yo mamma so fat when she seen a stop sigh she ate it

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Why was the user KyuremCult's name blacklisted on iFunny? She had been repeatedly banraided by people with no success, but because of the mass reports and the leading to some of her works being deleted, the system decided to blacklist her name from search.

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Yo mamma is so fat she needs a highly dangerous gastrointestinal bypass and if she dies you will wish she had made more of an effort to diet.

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An Atheist and a Christian are walking along a sidewalk going in opposite directions when suddenly the Atheist sneezes. The Christian says "God Bless You!" Even though the Atheist doesn't believe in God he understand that the gesture was a kind one and so he nods and politely says "Thank you!" before going on about his day.

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How long will it take for a dog to paint a color wheel? I don't know.

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Why was the sock sad? Impossible. Socks dont have emotions.

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How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

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What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

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Whats worse then being raped? Nothing it will ruin your life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops