This episode featuring an all new nonspeaking character, who never goes on screen.

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Why did the two children go sledding? Because they liked to sled.

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Walking down a cold, lonely, deserted street is a 10 year old who lost her parents. she has with her in plain sight her fathers wallet, so full of cash that it is literally too full. all of a sudden, a black man with a gum jumps out from around the corner. he then proceeds to mug her and shoot her. thanking the man for playing cops with her using finger guns, she goes home with a new coffee mug and a stick of gum. she died three days later from unrelated incidents.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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My wife made me a sandwich

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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how many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb just 2 but it beats me how they got in there

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How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Bob

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How do you get a dog off of your roof? Shoot it.

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You wanna hear a touching story? Once a pon a time you died. The end. (all anti jokes posted by me will be adressed with -blarg)

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Mom, how do you make babies? When a daddy and mommy love each other very much... They play with trains and tunnels!(Yay!)

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What did the little boy order at Burger King? He ordered a burger and wiped his booger on the counter.

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How do you make a little girl laugh. You tell her something funny.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? She's dead.

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Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.

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A Priest and A Rabbi Walk Into The Bar. Ouch.

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An atheist dies and so will we all, eventually.

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Bill:Ask me to do something. Bob:Go get me a beer Bill:Would you like fries with that?

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Why did the pig walk into the bar Because he was thirsty

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there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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what do you sit on, poop on, and sleep on? a bed, a toilet, and a chair

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Whats worse than being a 40 year old virgin? Being a 12 year old girl in Africa who gets raped everyday to feed her family.

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What did the lawyer get for Christmas? More paper work

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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