Speaker 1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Speaker 2: Why? Speaker 1: Every member of your immediate, nuclear, and extended family simultaneously contracted Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) while being beaten, maimed, raped, tortured, and molested by a deranged serial killer during the sinking of the Titanic, eventually bleeding to death and allowing child rapists to eat their dead bodies.

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Why did the boy die while brushing his teeth? The toothbrush wasn't water-proof.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Coming home and discovering that your wife has drowned your kids in the bathtub

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin inside a blender.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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What's worse than seeing 5 dead babies on the side of the road? Realizing slavery is banned after buying a perfectly good young black male for a reasonable price at your local walmart.

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Theres a monkey that walks into a bar. I forget the rest of the joke but your moms a w****

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What bug has eight legs? Not a spider.

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3 like an eel

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Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

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Nah, could not care less about how I sound on "The network", its just that I spent all night finishing the core concept to my new novel, and all the capital letters and stuff sound like Jim Carrey in my head as I type. So Redcunt, where you going? When you coming back?

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What did God say when he saw the first black man? What a wonderful creation I have made.

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Whats cooler than being cool in High School? Nothing, now take a hit...everyone's looking

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Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

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Brothers and sisters,I have none. But my sister's daughter is also my daughter...

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Why did Mary fall of the swing? Because she had no arms. Who pushed johnny of the cliff? Certainly not Mary

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your mum is so fat her patronas is a cake...

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your neighbor. Ok, Come in.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, And I'm color blind, So I don't give a shit

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Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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Whats red and tastes like parsley? Not Red Parsley

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A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? He got many things, because everyone felt bad for him. Someone even brought him into their house so he could have Christmas dinner. On Christmas Day someone gave him fifty dollars to spend on food for his family. Only thing is, he didn't have a family.

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Whats worse than runing over a box of kittens? Runing over two boxes of kittens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops