What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

whats worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it? being raped by justin beiber

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you make seven an even number? You don't, it's impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between a lesbian and a Pringle ? One is a snack cracker, the other is a crack snacker.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

If Barbie is so popular...why do you have to buy her friends?

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Because 6 was registered as a sex offender

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what do you get when you have an albino black man, a lesbian middle eastern siamese twin of the female gender, a polygamist indian and a jewish native american? A very cultured and diversified posse of hostages. Take your pick.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the guy go to the store? He really doesn't want you to know every detail of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

knock, knock Sho'sthere? Sam who? Sam Butt

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the man eat his wife? He was a cannibal

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call 5 black people being killed in a car crash? A terrible incident

thumb_up thumb_down +6

"My foot is killing me" "no, actually it's that noose around your neck"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Yo momma's so fat that she's gotta get a special door that will allow her to get through.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call an Arab driving a Plane? A Pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Jessy crawl to her bed? Because she has no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

the awkward moment when a sentence doesnt end the way you think it octopus

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops