Why do I staple a mans mouth to his penis. Because I wanted to

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Why do people poke people on facebook? Because they have no friends and will die alone

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down -3

i have a christmas tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why are Jews always so clean? Because they never come out of the shower.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

pleas help someone is in my house i think hes trying to kill me i'm not even joking.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

<3 ... it looks more like scissors than a heart...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the black man sent to prison? He was wrongfully accused of a crime which is a fine example of how flawed today's justice system is.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Mickey Mouse peed on a house. Just kidding. Micky Mouse isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Get it? More.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did Jerry Sandusky go to the shower room? He hadn't showered all week and was beginning to smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's the difference between a cheeseburger and a dead baby............I don't j!zz on the cheeseburger before I eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: How do you make a baby cry? A: Throw a brick at it.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

My friend who's a chef was stabbed by his own kitchen knife, everyone said it would be in bad taste to joke about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

So I was making love to my cat the other day, and my pet dog comes in.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

XD A COZY FIGHT XD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? I am gonna kick your ass, break your face and then give you a kiss on the cheek as your mangled corpse bleeds out... XD :)) THANKS FOR THE LAUGHTER XD XD Reminds me of a former comment where you describe the local weather, you know, we do not live that far away from each other, hell it was actually the time, we are completely in the same timezone, so anyway, do you also get cartoon network on your television?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

An under aged man walks into a bar. the bar tender forgets to ask for his ID and gives him a beer. That man was later fired.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Two black guys and two asians get pulled over. The cop says i cant let you go unless all of your dicks add up to 15 inches. They added up to exactly 15 inches - The black guys both added up to 7 inches each and the asians added up to 1/2 inch each. When they were driving away both of the asians said thank god we had boners.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

If video games were peaceful. Man! You are so strait! That was so good man! GG.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops