The size of Idris Elba's penis

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What's clear and wet?? Water (I think)

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What do you call two black guys flying a plane? Pilots.

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Knock knock. Come right on in.

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Who is buried in Grant's Tomb? DeShawn

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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why did the girl fall of the swing because she was pushed of by obama

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Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

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anti jokes are like chickens. they arent funny at all. which makes them funny...

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What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

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A drunk guy walks into a bar and falls flat on his back. Upset, he then finds a bathroom. An hour later he is arrested for beating off in the bathroom. off is pressing charges.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What's the difference between an Elephant and a Post Box? An Elephant is not a Post Box. It is an Elephant.

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Why is this joke an anti joke? Because it's not trying to be funny.

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Boyfriend: Why are you so negative all the time? Girlfriend: I'm not! I'm positive! Boyfriend: No your not your arguing with me right now and you... Narrator: The girl takes the pregnancy test and shoves it in the guys mouth kicks him in the nuts and runs out the door.

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What does a blind, deaf, parapalegic baby get for christmas? Cancer.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

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a man jumps of a cliff and ..... hits the ground

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I never asked for this.

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Q: how do you crush a Chinese man's dreams? A: tell him he is worthless and will never prosper.

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How can you tell when a African man is lying? Like any other person you would use a lie detector.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a big fat bully!

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What is the cost of an abortion? 1 life

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How do you insult a Canadian? You just swear at them and hope for the best.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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