Q: What did the littl boy with cancer get for christmas? A: Nothing, he didnt make it that far.

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Dig Bick Your dislexic

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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Hello, my name is John, and you are reading this paragraph. Find the mistake...

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Religionh

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What's red, black, and green all over? This is! I only wish you could see it too - the website wont let me upload a picture - but it is pretty impressive! Oh well.

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Your mother is so fat, she developed diabetes and was rushed to hospital. She might not make it.

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A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

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why are black people scared of chain saws? because it goes runnigganigganiggarunnigganigganigga

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Roses are red, Violets are violet

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What did the transvestite say to the fox? 'scuse me, you've got something on your shoe.

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Whats worse than sour milk? 911. Whats worse than 911? drinking sout milk!

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Knock knock Who's there The military, your son died last night.

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roses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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Why did the black man wash his feet? PHOIT!!!! He washed his feet in a bird bath... Too bad his car got thrown off a cliff by a bald eagle with no feathers?

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because she had no arms.. knock, knock who's there? not suzie

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what did the n i g g e r with alzheimers say to the c h i n k? 9/11 was the funniest fake joke since the holocaust and 9/11 and the holocaust and 9/11... and... what?

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A woman walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Yes ma'am?". She orders a gin and tonic, but the bartender had gave her two without realising, and so she pays for one only. She starts to contemplate whether to tell the bartender about his error or to just leave it and have a free glass of gin and tonic. However as she is a christian, gluttony is a sin, and she already had enough to drink today. However, she feels the need to have a relaxing drink today, because as she was on her job as a receptionist, when a customer tripped on the last step of the stairs behind her and broke his neck, dying instantly, which deeply saddened her. This later led her to indulge on 3 glasses of red wine in the staff room. She finally concludes after a few moments pondering, to not tell the bartender about his error, and pampered herself with two relaxing glasses of gin and tonic. Her dead, mutilated body was later found in the rubble of a car after a head-on collision with a truck.

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What's annoying and wears glasses? The kid next to you

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Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

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My dog barks when someones at the door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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