a duck wanted grapes. he didnt get any

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dumpster full of dead babies? There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

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A welsh guy walks into a pub. This something any average guy would do.

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whats used in the kitchen and hurts like fuck? a cheese-grater dildo

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What do you do when you come to a fork in the road? You take it

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Why did the Jew cross the road? After looking both ways many times, repeatedly, to make sure there was absolutely no element of possible danger, he concluded that his best option was the cross the road.

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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How do you make a baby stop crying? You throw it out the window.

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yo momma is so fat her doctor recommended a new healthy diet.

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You know what's better than a taco? A better taco.

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Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

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what is purple and hairy like a bear? A purple bear

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what did barrack obama say to the jew osama bin ladins a bitch

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why did the color blind man cut the red wire and accidentally blew himself up and all the other people involved in the situation? Because he didn't know how to defuse a bomb.

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a guy walks into a bar. unexpectedly, a terrorist walks in and shoots him in the head. After lots of therapy he can now go back to his average life.

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was strapped to the first monkey.

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How do you make a Trucker cry? Kill his family and chop of his arms.

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Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

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I saw a man one day i saw him the next day and the next and the next i didn't see him ever again

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What did jell say to the carriage driver from Uzbekistan that was underpaid and had no banter? Oh My God ROFLMAOOTG (the last three are "on the ground") "I will beat you with a small child that I will soon feed to the T-Rex's" should be on the list.

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Q: Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? A: He was looking for pooh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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