When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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What do you call a homosexual in the army? A brave and honorable person who should be applauded for their service to this great nation

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Unbeknownst to the farmer, the pen holding the chickens inside the farm had fallen due to bad weather. The chicken unknowingly wandered onto the road nearby. Thankfully it was rescued some minutes later.

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Why doesn't Michael sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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Im Tom and I'm an alcoholic...

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What did Jesse's friend say to Jesse? Hello Jesse

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What's yellow and goes up and down? A banana in an elevator.

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What do you call a puppy with all it's legs missing? Franklin, the quadraplegic puppy.

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What is worse than finding a dead bug in your coffee? September 11, 2001

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Why did the cat die? Johnny put in the microwave.

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Your mom is so fat that she turns "One Size Fits All" to "One Size Fits Most"

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Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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Im good at other things... ...like giving handshakes

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why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad. salads can't fly planes.

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Pigs have the emotional capacity of a five year old think about that next time you have to dissect one in biology

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I am not Moral Man. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUU

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a murderer sees a young child left alone at a park... he promptly finds the childs mother and returns her to her home.

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To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

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why did justin go to maddie parris house to fuck her.....

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A bar walks into a man... Wait, that's impossible.

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If your yacht is if moving at 50 knots per hour in a wind tunnel how many leprechauns can you fit in a chamber? Even, because purple is attracted to bestiality.

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Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

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So anyways, can I have the last comment or not?

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops