Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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There was a horse in a very hot sumer day. He was in the middle of corn field It was so hot that the corns started popping out. The horse thought it was snowing and died of cold.

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How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

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What's worse than dying? Dying twice.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? A giant spider-like insect that lays eggs in your brain which turn into larvae that drop down onto your tongue and eat your teeth slowly, then form a cocoon and turn into the spider-like insect spoken of previously. You then wake up from this terrible nightmare and get ready for your well paying job.

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A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

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Ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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A black person went into a store and paid full price for his tv

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What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I felt like kicking something.

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Why did the old man fart?? Because he had gas

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What happens when Darth Vader farts? Nothing. Darth Vader's butt was burned off on the volcanic planet of Mustafar and he fell into a lava pit. Darth Vader has since started a program called Darth Vader's butt replacement research foundation. Please donate money today. You could be changing a buttless person's life. Thank you very much.

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What's the difference between donuts and dead babies? You can't buy a bakers dozen of dead babies at Tim Hortons.

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Japan is Weird We aren’t saying Japanese people are weird but it’s a fact that the strangest pictures floating around the internet are from Japan.

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why did Samantha fall off the building? She was hit by a flying fridge dropped by a traffic helicopter.

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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A girl walks into a bar and the bartender says, "why is your face so tan?" And she replies "I just got back from the beach."

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What did the army guy say when he lost his gun. Wheres my gun.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. and Asians are yellow.

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a jewish man with a boner walks into a wall what does he hit first his cheek due to the fact he was looking at an attractive woman

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What's red and smells like blood? Blood.

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Bob: If two negatives make a positive, what would be an anti-anti-joke? Tim: An anti-joke

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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