A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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What do you get if you mix rice with slightly different flavoured rice? Rice.

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What is white and can't walk? A PVC Pipe.

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A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

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Oh you have herpes? yeah, there's an app for that.

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Bob: Hey Jim, if you were a caveman, you would die. Jim: Why? Bob: Cause everybody dies.

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am man walks into a bar, and suffers from brain damage

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What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

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Q. What do you call an average middle-aged white man who walks into a bar and asks for a drink? A. Not a very funny joke

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Knock, knock Who's there? Landlord; you've been evicted.

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Two men are in a bar. One of them turns to the other one and says, "I've slept with your mom." The other one replies "Go home dad you're drunk."

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why did the child go to school? Because he wants to succeed in life

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Why did the murderer buy a lizard? He thought that they were cute.

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Knock Knock Whose there? A field full of mexicans A field full if mexicans who? F**k You

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What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Nothing.

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Why did the little girl die so suddenly? The bullet got her right in the heart.

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What happens when you agree to disagree? You extend the duration of the argument.

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Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

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What do you call justin bieber haveing sex with a lady? A dream

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What is one plus one? I don't want to do math.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A chicken doesn't need a motive to cross a road, it just does.

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Knock knock "Honey, could you get the door?" "I'm tired of doing everything here! Get you ass up and do it yourself!" "Well why don't you just go back to bar you whore?" "This marriage was a mistake, I'm going back to mother!" They divorced 5 months later.

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why didn't the mexiczn eat the black man's cooking? because it wasn't good

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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