If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? A healthy, balanced diet consisting of all food groups, unless they are vegetarian or vegan, hence they will not consume any meats or animal products.

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A Mormon bishop, a Jewish Rabbi, and a Moslem Imam all died on the same day. They went to hell because they thought their good works would save them.

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What did the Orange say to the Apple? Nothing. Both of them are lifeless objects, thus lacking the ability to speak.

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What did the blind kid get for Christmas? A collection of braile children's reading books.

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Teacher- What comes after 69 Boy- Mouthwash?? Teacher- LEAVE!

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How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

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Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Yeah, I mean to be honest with you, I get that one a lot.

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Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

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knock knock whos there? i dont know arent you supposed to get the door?

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how do you get rid of diahreah? Shove pepto bismo up your butt.

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A blind man, a black man and a rabbi walk into a bar. The blind man trips and falls violently.

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Chuck Norris has a chin under his beard.

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What's the difference between a plum and a bunny? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

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Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. The one stopped because the other fell off the bead and died.

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Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

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Why can't Hellen Keller play hide and go seek? Because she is dead.

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why did amelia earhart get lost? because she was a woman

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Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Weiner? A: You can never make "fetch" happen.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven.

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Joker: Why so serious Man: My mom and dad just got hit by a car, and you just stabbed my friend in the face with a pencil. Joker: Oh well im sorry to hear that.

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What happened to the bus? An unexpected, unforseen, instantaneous, sudden finger began to slowly disintergrate the earth

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is Patrick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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