What did the black man do in the Italian Pub? He gave a 20% tip and couldn't have been more courteous.

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A blonde walks into an electrics shop and asks to buy a television set. The shop-owner explains that she is signalling a microwave and is concerned for her mental wellbeing.

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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I once ate at a restaurant where the food was so bad that the chef's name was Earl.

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What did the girl get for her birthday? the Plan B pill

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A: Knock Knock B: The door is open please come in.

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What's funny? Nick Sotelo

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How do you make a plumber sad? You murder his family.

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Person 1: Your Ugly Person 2: Your mom's ugly

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What did Helen Keller's parents do when they were displeased with her behavior? They beat the shit out of her.

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I'd like to make a withdraw

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What's long, black, and sticky? Licorice.

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Why did old Mary fall off the cliff? There were no brakes on her wheelchair

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What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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Q: What can a bench do that a mexican can't? A: Support a family.

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What do you call a person with an axe stuck to his head? What's your name?

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matt has ebola...funny right!?

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How many cupcakes are there in the world joe How many? I don't know I was asking you.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it wanted to get to the other side! why did the chipmunk cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

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Q: Why did the plain crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. By: LV

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How do you kill a blonde? well there are several way's in which to kill another human being, infact, the point that she is blonde is rather irrelevant.

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Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

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"I see." said the blind man to his deaf son.

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Why did the fish but the house Because it wanted to eat the house

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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