What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes.

Two Irish men walk into a bar, order a drink and sit down to enjoy the drink and friednly conversation.

Your future.

your mama is so greasy she should go take a bath

A priest, a rabbi and an imam walked into a bar and had a great time because all of them worship the same God. (Obs: The imam ordered only soft drinks)

how do you get a scouters power level to 9,000? power levels dont exist in real life therefore cannot reach 9,000

Knock Knock Who's there? Not Michael Jackson!

Guess what I saw today?..........Nothing I'm Blind.

Why were little Suzie's parents crying? Suzie was kidnapped by Al Qeada

Why is a T-shirt like a topaz statue of the Archangel Gabriel? They both start with 'T'.

What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. The ocean is inanimate and therefore incapable of speech.

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? A: "Here come the elephants over the hill!"

wounds are red bruises are blue I've got five fingers the middle ones for you

roses are red viloites are sour open your legs and give me an hour

What did the doctor say to the man with cancer? You have cancer.

What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

Why did the kids all eat their homework? Probably because they were starving to death and there was no other food source available.

Why did the white bartender kick out a black man and his Mexican friend out of the bar? It was closing time

Why did the cat land on it's back.... because its dead .......

What did the frog say to the goat? Nothing frogs can't talk.

What do Elephants never forget? 9/11

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5, you both have the same amount of money

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...