How do you get a hot blonde to do your laundry? At knife point.

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Why did Mary fail to consume her breakfatst? Because Suzy has a history of bi-polar disorder as well as anorexia.

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You: Mike and Steve were playing chess, who won? Them: Mike You: no, it was steve

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What did the 4 year old black kid ask his father for Christmas? A yo-yo. nah im just kidding he doesnt know who his father is.

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What's worse than having amnesia? I don't remember.

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What did the man say to his wife at the funeral. Nothing, he was dead

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What's green and has wheels? A green car.

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A man walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic beverage. The bartender serves him and inquires about the man's day. The man says nothing, drinks his beverage, pays his tab and walks out.

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When does George Harrison take a shit? In the morning

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What did Roadrunner name his car? Turbo Tax.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What do you call a black man who has become a millionare? A financhaly successful buisnessman who worked hard to be where he is today.

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yo mommas so ugly that everyone died.

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"I can sell this watch for $500 dollars on the black market!" Well, you could sell your liver for $500 dollars on the black market too.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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While I was walking home from school one day, James Brown jumped out of a bush and punched me in the face. Then, when I got home, there was a walrus sitting on my couch. He then turned to look at me and said, "Penis". I then immediately farted out blades of grass.

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Why don't women need watches? Because most people carry cell phones that tells them the time making watches redundant and obsolete.

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange.

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yo mama is so fat, she should seriously consider gastric bypass surgery, morbid obesity is extremely detrimental to one's health

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Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? A: "Fred is raping your sister with a puck."

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I'm a champion. I do what I want.

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how come the exorcist eat crème brülé? because that deserves a carlsburg

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if life gives you lemons you probably have problems

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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