Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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A man rubs a magic lamp nothing happens

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What do you call Rosa Parks? One bitchy negro. Just kidding she was a visionary for human rights, now you can't dislike this cause you'll be saying that Rosa Parks wasn't a visionary, take that blacks.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

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What do you call a black man playing a bass guitar? A bassist.

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What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

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What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

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"I lost the game." Hahahahahahahahahahahaha in your face

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think you're smart But I've got a plan for you.. Leaves are green Stems are too You lied to me Now I will shoot you.. Violets are blue Roses are red You made me angry And now you are dead.

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What did the doctor say when he lost his glasses? Where are my glasses?

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Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

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What's green and if it falls out of a tree it kills you? A pool table.

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Why are all women bad drivers? All of them aren't.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hold his family at gun point

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can you touch your toes? no

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Why didnt the black man run the marathon? He was in jail

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What was the blind man doing on the bridge? Getting struck by lightning.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Though if the ladder is rickety and she needs someone to steady it for her, two.

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What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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Why was the interracial marriage unsuccessful? Because several social factors have challenged the couple as they live in a rural part of the South and interracial couples generally aren't as accepted in those areas as in progressive city centers.

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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