Why did the man throw the baby at the brick wall? I don't know, but that is a tragic incident and I will now go mourn.

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What has 2 legs and smells like fish A fish with 2 legs

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A man came home from work and said to his wife im going to kill u

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

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Turn your Caps Lock off, people think you're yelling at them, Stephen Hawking.

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Angus is so Scottish he wears a kilt when it is socially appropriate.

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Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

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Which disney princess always stays old? Snow White

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Why did the hobo break both of his arms? He didn't like them.

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what do you call white people running down a mountain? Avalanche What do you call black people running down a mountain? Jailbreak

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Why did Lou Gehrig die from? ALS

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What's harder than steel? Beating Tetris. What's harder than diamond? Beating Tetris...

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What did the girl say when she got her period? Nothing, why would she want anyone to know?

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Rich merchant started build a new bigger home for his family. He bought good blueprints and hired some construction workers to build it up. It took 2 years for the house to finish. Just few days before moving in, he had an horrible nightmare where little green men set the house on fire. When he woke up, he heard the bad news. House was burned down during the night. Merchant was shocked and sad. After couple of weeks, he decided to build a new house. This time a smaller one. Again he bought blueprints and hired people to work for him. Almost a year later, the house was starting to be finished. And again he saw that nightmare of little green men burning the house down. At morning he already knew the news and started to investigate these happenings. Local police officer couldn't help him and so didn't anyone else he asked. Merchant decided to try once more to build new home. This time he had money only for a small farmhouse. Building it up last 6 months, and almost every night merchant was guarding the construction site for little green men. Farmhouse finished in time and merchant moved in. In couple weeks he started to relax and think that little green men stopped harassing him. At one night, couple of months after moving in. Merchant saw the nightmare again, and woke up in burning house. He escaped from the window and saved his wife and children. Then he ran to the village to call for help. The next morning, merchant was sitting next to his burned home and just thinking the motives for green men, what did he do in past so that green men were angry at him? Some villagers had come to watch the burned house and merchant saw something green in middle of the crowd. He slowly walked towards the crowd and saw this little man fleeing. He started to pursue this man and was pumped with adrealine. Didn't last long when merchant catched this little guy and held him in the ground to ask "Who are you? Do you have anything to do with those housefires?" The little green man was calm and relaxed as he answered "No."

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the dog say to the astro turf? SHUT UP!! I don't want to here your excuses, put the dishes away when you're done with them or so help me! You see the dog had been abused as a puppy and as a result he was always a bit off.

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I had a quad when I was in high school, she was pretty but it was hard to get her out of the wheelchair.

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whats black with purple?nothing no animals or humans have anything like that

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You'er moma is so stupied that she climbed over the glass window to see what on the other side

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Women's Rights

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There once was a man from berlin He knocked on a door to go in He got such a fright When the house did ignite That he never went knocking again

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Ammy Winehouse walks into a bar Don't you said we should stop jocking about dead people ?

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Whats is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite. Whats worse than a shark bite? The Holocaust.

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A man walks into a bar. The man says,"ouch, how could I have not seen the bar."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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