Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

how many jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? none their all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let out the chicken?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a shoe sale at JC penny on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

thumb_up thumb_down -16

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of problems with money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

do you currently smoke? i hope not.

thumb_up thumb_down

Hey i heard You were a wierd kid ooooooooooalskdfjaslkdfj

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: how do you stop a blonde woman from drowning? A: unplug the stopper in the bathtub Q: how do you stop a baby from drowning? A: take your foot off its head

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the best anti-pest control of all time???? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I have glasses but cannot see I have feet but cannot walk What am I? A riddle.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What glows in the dark and is really annoying? A glow in the dark chimpanzee

thumb_up thumb_down +4

*Knock knock* Who's there? No one answers so the man opens the door and gets stabbed 7 times in the chest

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Want to hear a joke You're Adopted

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the boy say to the ghost wearing a banana outfit? Holy crap! A ghost!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats worse than finding a spider in your shower? Getting repeatedly stabbed in the dick by a rapid chipmunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A kid asks his mom: "Mom, what would I be when I grow up?" And so his mother answers: "You won't grow up, you have cancer"

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why didn't the blonde eat bacon? She was Jewish, and it was against her religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

a black guy walks into a park with a group of five other black guys. they then proceed to have a nice picnik and play frisbee with a little white boy.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops