How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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What do you call a black man with a wooden leg? A veteran.

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The Pope

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What did one hater say to the other hater? I hate you.

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Q: What's black and blue and is all over Timmy's mother? A: The bruises his father gave her when he came home drunk.

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a tree house? Yeah..neither did she.

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How do you get a one handed man out of a tree Wave

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Pete and repeat were on a boat. Repeat fell off, who was left?

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What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

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cancer isn't that good for you. so try not to get it

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A man had two horses. One was black and one was white. He cut the tail of one of them to tell them apart.

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Why can't kids do drugs in school? Because it's against the rules.

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Q. Why did the chick go to KFC? A. To visit his mother

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What did one muffin say to the other? I'm baked... just kidding muffins are food and therefore can not speak

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hi anti joke

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a terrible and painful death on impact.

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Why did the blonde throw her alarm clock out the window? Because it was broken.

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Q: Why do Japanese people have eyes that look like they're stretched to the side of their head? A: When they are born, they come out head first, and their eyes are stretched to the side of their head and are stuck in that position due to the sticky, glue like substance found inside a woman's stomach.

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What did the pickle say to the banana? Nothing both of thiese particular things are sentiment and incapable of producing words and or thoughts. Along with a diverse enough personality to be creative enough to even think about asking a question. If you thought otherwise,GO SEE A DOCTER. Having sentiment objects talk to you is not normal.

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Why did the bunny cross the road? It didn't, It was hit by a truck...

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

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Jack and Jill went up a hill to snort a little coke, Jack felt horny , so did Jill. But unfortunately Jack cant's maintain an erection no matter how turned on he is.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He decided to sail to Portland. He cast off and was never seen again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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