Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he lost his grip on the branch and was unable to reach another before reaching the ground.

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your mamas so fat all she gets for christmas and her birthday is girdles!

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Why was the black guy charged for murder? He killed his wife.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies A live one eating its way out!

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he had an undescended testicle

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Why does the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have legs to walk and they are not able to fly across the road, like the rest of their bird friends.

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385

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What do you do when a girl you gave roofies to wakes up? Take your tongue out of her ass and run!

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari. A Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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3 blonds walk into a bar ouch

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A: Knock knock. B: <>

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a white man, a black man, a chinese man and a mexican man stand at the edge of a roof. the chinese man stands at the edge and says "this is for ma people" and jumps off. then the mexican stands at the edge of the roof and says "this is for my people" and jumps off. finally, the black man stands at the edge of the roof and shouts "this is for my people!" and throws the white man off. The End XD

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Why did the runner stop farting in the middle of his run? He ran out of gas.

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A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" asks the bartender. "I'm a horse, it's genetic." replied the horse, confused at the bartender's infantile understanding of evolution and other species.

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Roses are angry Violets are too My head is scratchy I need shampoo

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If a vegetarian only eats vegetables, then what does a humanitarian eat?

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your mom's so fat that even the biggest case of cancer couldn't brake through her flubber its so big

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what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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