Why was the house painted pink? I dont know, why don't you ask the owner?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the over-baring Chinese couple say to there son who got an A- in math? How would I know? I can't speak Chinese.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

so theres this big moose, and it walks into a convenience store and asks the lady bitch "where are the potatoes?" and she says "ehh, down aisle 5" so he goes down isle five, and there aint no potatoes

thumb_up thumb_down -18

pobody's nerfect

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You might be a redneck if you are an individual a part of a low social caste in a predominately rural area such as the southern part of the United States or a mountainous area such as the Appalachians or Ozarks who may or may not partake in stereotypical activities such as hunting, fishing or farming And who also lives in possibly degraded living conditions.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the boy get from his grandmother on Christmas. Nothing she died on Thanksgiving.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? To try to get the antidote for his dying baby chick.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Where's Stevin Hawkins? He went for a walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

dyslexia is like gingervitus except they are exactly alike in possible little ways with gigantic raging boners CC

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? a Jew is a person and a pizza is a food

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mama is so fat she suffered from diabetes and died of heart failure .

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's Tyrion Lannister short for? It's not short for anything, it's his full name.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man and two women walk into the a house. When they leave out come 2 babies with them. What happened in that house? They were babysitting.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A gay man walks into a biker bar and orders a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you want ice with that?"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the Nazi solider receive on his birthday? A bayonet up his ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Gay jokes arn't funny. "Come" on guys.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock, Who's there? The police, you have committed 14 major felonies and you are being arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you make a dog hate you for the rest of its life? Steal its bone and beheaded it.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is a dog? Bark

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two muffins are in an oven. And by muffins I mean jews. They both die a horrible death.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Doctor doctor, I feel like listening to good music. Looks like you need "The Cure" to help with this.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops