Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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Why wasn't the child breastfed? Because it's mother died while in the process of giving birth and the father does not have the necessary mammary glands to produce human milk for the young child.

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Will you marry me? No, I'm cake.

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you should be a con artist.

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Who is a nazi? • Theo Kingdom

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A bar walks into a man and the man walks into a watermelon then the watermelon walks into a black guy then the black guy walks into a piece of fried chicken then the piece of fried chicken walks into a hotdog then the hotdog walks into a wall then the wall walks into a horse then the horse walks into a jar of mayonaise then the jar of mayonaise walks into a can then the can walks into the bar

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What's hard and orange on the outside, and squidgy in the middle? A tanned man's head

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Roses are red Grass is greener I think of you when I play with my weiner

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Why are all the other numbers scared of 7? Beacuse 7 stabbed his mother with a steak knife.

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How did the blond know that you like her? You said,"Baby, I like you"

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Poop

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Why is a bulldog so aggressive Because it was raised for dog fights in basements Dog fights aren't right kids, and you should never get involved but if you find yourself in the cage fighting one of the dogs, you should really think about how you got there.

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WNBA

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what do you call a cup?... a cup

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Man 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Man2: Are you a tree? Man1: no.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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What's the difference between a rooster and a waffle iron? A lot.

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How many women does it take to replace a light bulb? Please advise. Thanks, Holly

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Q:What did the Black man say to New York? A: Black Out.

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When I see Debra walking her dog in the morning I often ask myself whose walking who!?

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What did the politician say to the bank robber? "Were both robbers"

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What do you say to a fat guy working out congrat him and tell him he's doing a great job and keep up the work

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what goes in hard, comes out soft, and you blow on it? bubble gum!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops