Justin Bieber walks into a bar. <>

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Why didn't Susan go to school on show-and-tell day? Because she's dead.

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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Why did the Mexican drive off a cliff Because he lost control of his vehicle which resulted in an unplanned trajectory causing his car to divert from the intended course and thus veer off the road onto the cliff

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have down syndrome, my favorite color is potato

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Knock knock Who's there? Joke Joke who? Auntie Joke Great, could you bake me those cookies I like.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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Knock knock. Who's there- oh wait, I don't care. Get away from my house or I am going to call the police.

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What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

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Q:Why did the little girl fall out of the swing? A:Because she had no arms.

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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Why was the man upset? Both sides of his pillow were warm.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a room? A: Depends on how hard you can throw.

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Why does Deb wear a hat? Because she is actually bald.

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Hey, you want to hear an anti-joke? yeah, sure. .....well, too bad!

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Why can't Hellen Keller play the piano? She's dead.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was holding hands with the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It saw a banana. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? It slipped. Why did the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? It thought this was all a game. Why did the sixth monkey commit suicide? All his friends were gone.

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A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

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Whats worse than not having fun at a party? Getting so drunk at a party that you shat in your pants Whats worse than shatting in your pants at a party drunk? Shatting in you pants twice because you were so drunk again.

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What did one say to the other woman? I have a penis

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A young boy walks into a bar and asks for directions or a map. The bartender takes him into a backroom and gives him a map he just happened to have. The boy continues on his way and the bartender is happy that he did a good deed.

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An Indian lady is pushing her child down a footpath in a stroller whilst leading her dog. A refridgerator lands on the mother. Why did the Chinese man behind her cry? Because loss of life is a frantic event and having witnessed such an event he was deeply shocked. He was also sad that no dogs were killed. This is because a dog killed his wife in a freak accident and he has held a grudge against the species ever since.

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Q: how do you make a baby blow bubbles? A: hold it under water, or as an alternative you could hold it under its twin sisters blood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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