Q: What did the alcoholic get for his Birthday?\ A: A Jail Sentence

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On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me nothing because I'm single

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

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"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Its Adolf, we're going to camp."

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How do you put 4 elephants inside a Volkswagen? You'd have to the change the interior design of the car and probably cut most of the roof. How do you put a Giraffe inside a Volkswagen? You ask her nicely to squeeze in between the four elephants...

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YOU

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What do you call a shop dedicated to selling watermelon, fried chicken and corn bread? A poor business model.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Hurricane Katrina

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Did you hear the one about the girl who had three nipples? Neither did I.

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

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You just sunk my battleship! 5,000 people just perished at the bottom the ocean in a war for pointless political reasons.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Knock knock. Who's there? Conscience. Conscience who? Oh, sorry about that Hitler, you wouldn't know who I am.

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MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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How does Moses like his tea? Hebrews it.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

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Why did the first elephant fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? It was tied to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? PEER PRESSURE!

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A Black guy and a Mexican guy walk into the bar. The bar tender offers to buy them a round of drinks because he can tell they had a hard day at the office.

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Three blind mice. See how they run. Into things.

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How do you cure aids? Jonathon siezed to care as he proceeded to cry when he was told his lemons were over the weight of what he'd expected

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Did you hear about the man who lost his right arm and left leg... He's ok now he's all right.

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Error 37.

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Latvian guy said to the other latvian guy: ''Why did the chicken cross the road?'' The other latvian guy responded: ''In truth, i do not know. I have not seen chicken in 10 years. The last time was before the red army plundered my village. I can still hear all the screams from the women being raped. But, back to question. Where is this chicken you speak of? I have not eaten in days and my wife and children are close to starvation aswell''

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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