A horse walks into a bar. The barman says "Sorry, we don't allow horses in here." The horse then leaves.

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man: honey im home woman: john im pregnant man: but i have a low sperm count! this is a miracle! woman: its not your baby its steves from the store man:but he's mexican! woman: i know.....i need an abortion. {lol racism}

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What's the opposite of fly? To not fly

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What did the podiatrist say to the proctologist? That athletes foot fungus is clearing up nicely.

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A white guy, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a Hispanic guy walks into a bar. The white guy orders a beer, the black guy orders a shot of vodka, the Asian guy orders a sake, and the Hispanic guy orders a shot of tequila. They were drinking and having a great time.

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what do you call a unicorn crossing a bridge? nothing there fake

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Stop Iran! We need the money.

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What did jonah say to your mum ... Nothing jonah is your mum

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. You wife was killed in an accident.

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69

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What is worse than getting a bad grade on a test. Having your family dog bled out in front of you, bitch.

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How do you get rich? Sell knives at warped tour.

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What is full of water and drowning people A pool

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Why are large breasts so awesome? Cleavage is sexually attractive to both men and women

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What do you get when you come across a blonde. Depression, because you want to do her, but you know that will never happen cause you spend to much time sitting on your ass looking at anti-jokes.

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How do you make a baby not cry? Do not throw a brick at it. ANTI-JOKE

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Knock Knock. Whos there? Victor. Victor who? Victor Secret, the gay door to door lingerie salesman. Can i interest you in a plastic cup holder?

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Man 1: youre going to die Man 2: why? Man 1: everyone dies

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Pandas Everywhere!!!

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What's worse than 9 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 9 trees.

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Why was the hamster not on his wheel? Because he had a stroke.

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There was an american man on the way to work.

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Why was Joseph Kony at a primary school ? It was 3 o'clock and his children had just finished a long hard day learning to read and right and it was his turn to pick them up after him and misses Kony developed a schedule one late night after the odd glass of wine or two.

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What is both blue and yellow at the same time? Green.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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