why did the polar bear bury his face into snow? because he saw the 241543903 post and wanted to join in so he used a portal gun to teleport his head into some guy's freezer.

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Teen pregnancy

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How is an orange like an airplane? They both have wings except an orange doesn't have wings

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what type of cat has green feathers? a green-feathered cat.

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a dog and a duck went out for a meal they both ordered lobster and enjoyed the night.

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Actual jokes are now obsolete.

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A black guy, a white guy, and a Canadian walk into a bar what do they all have in common. They are all involved in my Joke.

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What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Nothing, Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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Our societal waste doesn't deserve to be called a group. They fail to organize themselves and lack the intelligence to support themselves. Let's call them a collective. Similar to dust, or smarter than them, bacteria.

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A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

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That awkward moment when... Your mom is a guy.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

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What did the big chimney say to the smaller chimney? Nothing chimneys don't talk

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What's clear, glass-like, and makes your brain feel like it's exploding just by smelling it? Crystal Meth

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A man walks into a bar and gets drunk. He then goes home and proceeds beating his many wives in a drunken fit of rage.

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What did the blind man say to his wife? Nothing, for he was mute too

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A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

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I was watching Fox news.

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justin bieber

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How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

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A man walks into kindergarden class with a beer. He then gets arrested.

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What do you call a really bad actor? Nicholas Cage

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Contrary to popular belief- And this just in. My daughter has breast cancer.

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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