CAN YOU FIND YOUR D I C K YET BOMBER

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if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

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You are so ugly that when you were born the doctor didn't say anything to your mother because he has social manners.

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Why the he'll are there moths in the universe? It makes no sense. Where dies an annoying ass buzzing and flying price if isht ever help me?

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How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

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Why don't seagulls live in the bay? Because then they'd be bagels

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your mother is so fat that she probably watches her calorie intake every day

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Two mooses were sitting in a tree, minding their own business, when suddenly a submarine came flying. "He probably lives here." The first moose said to the other.

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

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What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

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What did the kid with no brain get for his birthday? Nothing because nobody thought that he would do anything with the toys because he couldn't think of what to do with them.

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A dog walks into a bar. The bartender asks the dog "what will ya have?" The bartender is then recognized as The Dog Whisperer

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How Do Bulls Drive Cars? They cant, they have hooves making it impractical for a Bull to Drive a car.

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you see theres this guy.

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A man walked into a bar. He said "ow".

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SC Johnson a Family Company

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Hey babies The holocaust called, they want their screams back.

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*ring ring ring* hello? This is a robbery... Dum dum dum.... (hangs up) *beep beep beep*

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What crawls on the ground and shoots arrows? Legless Legolas.

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The mighty wizard said "come fourth cowardly lion and receive bravery" but he came fifth and got absolutely nothing. Todo came fourth and got the bravery.

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This guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She stuck her head out and said, yes.

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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