Two goldfish are sat in a tank, one says to the other 'I forgot who you are' to which the other replies 'I forgot what you said'.

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If I were a cat, would you help with the toast?

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What happens when a man farts a fancy memorial party in a ball room in England... At least 1000 people die somewhere on earth in the time his butt squeezed out that fart. And I'm sure someone gets raped.

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Why do black people like fried chicken?? Because it was fried

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half of a worm. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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Do you have emotional issues, ever have a really bad day and just wanna talk call this number (402-314-5287) < N1GGER

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Two gay guys walked in to a bar. It's unfair of me to make the assumption that they're gay, they just be really good friends whom aren't opposed to touching each other.

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A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

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God is like semen. They're both nouns.

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Q: What did the hobo get for Christmas? A: Hypothermia.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

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What was wrong with the tree? Nothing

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So Helen Keller walks into a bar...

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What do you call Charlie Sheen when he's on drugs? Charlie Sheen.

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How can you tell if a calendar is popular? From stock order lists and also from accounts records.

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Are you a tree? A: No.

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What's the difference between Kim kardashian and lebrOn James?? Kim got a ring this year

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My favorite part of the movie Frozen is when the parents die.

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Gestapo.

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What happens to men who grow up. They are probably taller

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What do u call a man who sells hot dogs on the street? A Mexican

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What would you if I slapped you in the face with a fish? Unless you are a push-over, it is likely that you would retaliate with anger.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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3 blonds walk into a bar ouch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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