Why was there two girls at the movie? They wanted to see the movie together.

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OMG YOU BOUGHT ME FLOWERS THANK YOU

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what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

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27

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

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There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

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why was the chinese man so good at math it was his favorite subject

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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Q. What does the pencil and the basketball have in common? A. They both are made from wood, except for the basketball.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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why did the mans alarm clock go off at six am? he has a high paid job he doesnt want to let down.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? ... ... He committed suicide for the simple reason that the soviet and allied forces were closing in on him and he knew that he did not stand a chance of winning the war.

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how do you kill a blond? there are many ways but every one of them is illegal and could be criminally chargeable.

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whats worse than finding out you have Alzheimer's? Finding out you have Alzheimer's

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN's ON FIRE!!!!!

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why was sally the best at hid and go seek they couldn't find her body

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What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

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What do you call an awesome bucket? An epic pail.

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Q: how do you stop a blonde woman from drowning? A: unplug the stopper in the bathtub Q: how do you stop a baby from drowning? A: take your foot off its head

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Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

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how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

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Man 1: Is your refrigerator running? Man 2: Nope, broke last week.

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Haikus are useful Actually they are not.... ....I am so sorry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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