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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: I am.

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Q: What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? A: One baby nailed to ten trees.

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What's endangered like the Spotted Owl? A Cancer patient.

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two tomatoes are running and one stops to tie its shoe and the other says "Catch up!" This begins to put the first tomato on the spot and he runs after the second tomato without finishing his shoe and he trips falls and dies of severe brain damage

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Okay, So a Cow, a Lumberjack and a Fireman walk into a bar. The cow asks the bartender, "What kind of milk do you have?" The bartender looks confused and asks," Why would a cow want milk?" The cow replies,"I've been producing milk all my life and I've never had a chance to try it. I'd just like some milk." The bartender replies,"Okay we have whole milk, 2%, and skim milk. What'll you have?" The cow says,"Whole milk, I want the whole deal." The bartender obliges. Next the Lumberjack comes up to the bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The lumberjack asks for some syrup. The bartender inquiries,"What kind of syrup would you like?" The lumberjack answers,"Pure Maple, imitation, or chocolate. All work for me." The bartender turns and pours a shot of pure maple syrup and turns away. Finally the fireman walks up the the bartender and says, "Can I have a glass of water?" The bartender turn and ask inquisitively,"Why?" The fireman quickly replies,"TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!"...

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An attractive naked woman walks into a bar. Everyone is surprised, and all the straight men, gay women and bi-sexual men and women in the bar are sexually aroused.

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I bought my daughter the Josef Fritzl advent calendar. The proceeds go towards abuse survivor charities.

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-What did the gay guy say in Mcdonald's? -Ill have a number 10, with hot sauce and a large coke.

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Why was Harry arrested? Because he stabbed multiple children.

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a preist sees a rabbi on the street while taking a walk. he says hi and proceeds to have a nice conversation as they are good friends despite their religous differences

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How do you make a doctor cry? Kill his family.

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I heard that the Boston marathon was a BLAST!

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Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

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What's yellow and smells like piss? Piss

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What does 2 + 2 equal? 4

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Your mama is so fat. Just look at her.

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sorry about this, my enter key is stuck down... Really sorry guys. Nearly fixed it. Look I said I was sorry! All fixed :~D

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What's worse than losing one of your socks? Being jewish during the holocaust

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Q: What did the one legged homeless person get for christmass? A: Frostbite.

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What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck What starts with P and ends with ORN? Popcorn What starts with B and ends with ITCH? Bewitch

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What's faster than a Nascar Racecar? My thoughts. -Juanita

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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Why did Lady Gaga arrive at the Grammy's in an egg? Because she was born that way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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