I read my Uncle an anti-joke. He is still wondering why it made no sense to him.

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knock knock whos there micheal jackson too soon

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This guy says: "Doctor doctor, it hurts when I do this!" He jiggles his arm and screames in pain. The doctor replies: "Well, don't do it then!"

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how do you kill a man? slowly saw off all their limbs and then jump up and down on the torso and let all the organs fly out

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: I have no Idea what you would call cheese which isn't yours. However, it seems quite trivial to take time to discuss a nonsensical topic such as cheese which isn't yours.

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Why couldn't the cat drink the milk? Because it had no face.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Hey! do you have any updog? Nothing much! you?

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Why does Billy Mays yell? He doesn't, he's dead.

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Q:What does a virgin and a penny both have in common? A:Guys don't want them.

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If I were in a room with you, Hitler, Stalin, and Palin, and I had a gun with 3 bullets in it, I would drop that gun and run as fast as I could from that room. Sorry, I hate you!

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What do you call a black guy who kills people? A murderer.

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Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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Why are fire trucks red Well fire trucks have 4 wheels, and they have 8 people in them, 4+8, is 12, there are 12 inches in a foot, a foot is a ruler, Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, Queen Elizabeth was a boat, boats sail the seven seas, fish are in the seven seas, fish have fins, the Finns defeated the Russians, Russians are red, And that is why fire trucks are red.

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Why did the boy bump into a pole. He was sleep-walking with his eyes closed.

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What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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Q: why was the movie called the last house on the left? A: because they went to the last house that was on the left.

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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Hey I Just Met You And This Is Crazy But I Am Pregnant And It's Yhur Baby ~GotDemChoozen

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Why was the boy sad? He had a Ford Taurus stapled to his face.

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If your riding your bicycle down the railroad tracks and your wings fall off how much icecrea does it take to fill a upside down doghouse

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What rymes with milk..... milf

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Q.How do you scare an emo?? A.Run after them with plasters

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First the lord created light by shouti... ...Then the lord travelled back in time in order to create voice before that. The lord then said "I almost logic and everything failed at the very beginning. he corrected himself and saw it was good,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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