Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

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How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.

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What do you call a man with a spade on his head? Doug

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Time to get a watch

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this girl and guy were sitting on my couch turns out its my sister and her boyfriend and she just farted

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ugh good riddance

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What's harder than breaking up with your girlfriend? A stone.

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How did the idiot die? He comitted suicide because people were picking on his stupidity. (If you laughed at this you are a horrible person)

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Why do Asians squint their eyes? They were born like that.

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jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

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what did the British horse say to the man who owned him? nothing all he sad was neigh.

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Your momma's so stupid she stuck a power cable up her ass. Shortly after she died

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Hey I'm You're mother..... Haha Jk you're adopted

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What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have a gun, So get in the van

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Your mom is so ignorant that she in completely unaware how the premature termination of QE2 in conjunction with a potential US credit downgrade could substantially impact her fixed income portfolios and hinder her ability to retire in the desired time frame.

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: She got hit in the face with an axe

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What did the white guy say when a black man punched him? Ow, i am sueing for assault. that is a crime

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Santa isn't real.

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why did the little girl fall off the swing. she had no arms so I pushed her off

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Why did the cat have hair? Because he did.

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It was Valentines Day today, I thought I should get her something... I brought flowers to her grave.

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What's an example of something quiet? Helen Keller.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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