What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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When I get aroused I get a solid snake

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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whats black and blue and has three legs? An abused deformed person.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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A wife asks her husband to treat her like she's special. So he tells her, "Gooooooooooo... Maaaaaaaaaaaaake... Meeeeeeee.... Aaaaaa.... Saaaaaaaandwitch

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A middle aged man goes to a psychic. She tells him that he has prostate cancer, and his wife has been cheating on him for the past 3 years.

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whats worse than getting in a car crash Heroshema

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Why were the floors of the movie theaters so sticky? Spilled beverages.

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…What did you put in the drink that made me fart, and kill my horse?

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My grandmother always said "slow and steady wins the race."...... She died in a fire

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Why did the boy stop playing nintendo 64? He choked on a red M and M and struggled for air until he fell lifelessly on the floor, landing on his pet mole, furthermore, dying and killing the animal as well. It was loose loose situation.

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Why was Jimmy afraid of coming out of the closet? He had agoraphobia.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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2 boy once went to a party. One boy dared the other to suck all the helium out of a balloon. Today this boy is know as Justin Bieber

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four blondes where on their way to disneyworld they see a sign that say disneyworld:left so they turn around wondering where disneyworld went

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot you racist S.O.B.

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What do you call a thirsty girl? H2Hoe

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69.

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A man walks into a 1980's style restaurant he takes a seat and orders his meal.

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What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

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Q: Why was it bad to be a black jew during the Holocaust? A: You had to sit at the back of the gas chamber

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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