What's long, dark, and smelly? The unemployment line.

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roses are red, violets are blue, my name is dave, this makes no sense microwave.

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where is madeline macam? hiding is mjs cubord

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have alzheimer's Bacon

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Q: What's the best way to eat lasagna A: With a fork, although a spoon is a fine substitute

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How does a plumber cross the street? Using his legs

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Hey, look over there! It's ur mom!

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I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

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Why was Allen late for work? He was mauled by a bear. Allen is dead.

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? He had his legs amputated. He'll never ride his bike again.

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What do you call a dead cow? Dead Meat.

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So, a screw driver walks into a bar, and the bar tender sais "Hey Screw Driver" we have a drink named after you" the screw driver goes, "Really? You have a drink named Bob"

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing, animals are in capable of formal cumunication.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face" The horse responds "My daughter has cancer"

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i have cancer

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A bus crashes and everybody dies.

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

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What did the blind man look at when the girl showed him her cleavage ? ... Nothing... He's blind... >_>

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL O LO LO L OL O LO L OL O LO LO L OL OL O LO LO L OL OL OL O LO L OL OL O L OL OLLOLOLLOL OL O LO LO L OL OL O

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Why does 1 + 1 = 2? ....seriously P

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Why did the portuguese fisherman take out a $20,000 loan with a reknown loan shark at exorbitant interest rates? He needed to buy a kidney on the black market for his drug addicted daughter who had also destroyed his credit score meaning he coudln't get a loan from the usual credit facilities such as banks and credit unions.

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What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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