Do you want to hear a good anti-joke? Well I don't have one.

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Why don't vampires like garlic? Every vampires was raped by a garlic salesman.

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What's more dangerous, a big rock or a small one? It doesn't matter. You can blame my mom for having me.

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What did the Asian say after he had a nightmare? Nothing his nightmare was actually reality and a dishwasher fell on him and killed him.

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Q:Why did the bunny run up the hill? A:Because he can't run under it.

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What can fly, but is always under you? A flying worm.

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OMG my mom just let me go to a concert in feb 31,2012 wohoo! LOL

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A boy walks to the bark and on his way he sees two individuals having sex in a car. He runs home and asks hios mother what he saw. She responds vinny is an enormous dork

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

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What happened when an atheist burned down the home of a priest? He was arrested, charged with arson and sentenced to 5 years in prison.

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Too bad I don't have one.

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What did the mexican do when 3 INS workers came to his house? He showed them his papers and it turns out he was a natural born US citizen. The mexican then proceeded to invite the INS into his home for a cup of coffee but they respectfully declined

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what did one dog say to his sex partner? woof woof

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and broccoli? A lot.

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Person 1: Can I ask you a question? Person 2: You just did.

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God said "let there be light" Chuck Noris said "say please

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Hey did you see Helen Keller's dress? No, she's dead.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead!!!!

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I don't want to share my name yet if that is okay, I mean I have not seen you, but you have seen me just saying. Tell me how old you are first, I am 26, or 27, being more or less an orphan since birth details like that kinda lose themselves. And no, its not Eliza, I will wait for you here if you do not mind, there are still people that have thought I am Nero all this while, that`s what worries me, I doubt I can convince them I am chatting with myself this time around.

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What is the coefficient of friction's favourite band? MU-se. What does the coefficient of friction go to see at weekends? MU-seums. What is the coefficient of friction's favourite hobby? Masturbating violently with a noose around his neck.

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What do you do with a dead black man? Respect his final wishes and provide him with proper funeral services.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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