Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

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How do you kill a fly? Shoot it

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why cant the black guy vote? because hes not 18 yet.

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Went to a zoo there was a asian shouting GOOZILLA at the reptile house I said no 2 frickly pickles please He said helwo I'm wo pong th pow wice to weet you I said does he come with subtitles Old priest said no the said hello little boy want a mint I said oh thanks I'm not a boy I'm 19 Old priest said no no you can't have one of my special mints I said wait those mints have R's on them are the rainbow mints Old priest no there raspberry I said ok don't be a stranger Old priest said oh I will I said wait your THE PRIEST He said oh I'm just a priest looking for little boys I said no your dead now jumped 30 feet in the air sat on a bird dove into him bird went threw him we made a team promised to clean the world of evil only to find out that we killed the mother of all priest Bird said tweak tweak I said yeah let's hunt them all down Shall the be a part 2 you decide

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A: When was rhe last time you touched yourself? B: A few seconds ago when I had an itch on my arm

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

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Why did Sally eat popcorn? She was watching a movie

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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A man walked into a bar....he's OK.

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A rapist walks into a bar He orders a drink He wakes up the next morning naked on a hot chick He leaves not realizing that he is nude and is promptly escorted by the police to jail

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here!" The other one says "We're both going to die in here and nobody will hear us scream."

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Why was the girl stupid? Because she had blonde hair.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

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I asked her where you were.

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why did the child go to hospital with 52 broken bones,lung and kidney failure,heart disease and cut off penis. because his mum threw a fridge at mikeanator_27

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so david walks into a convenience store and wanted to buy a pack of gum. so he asks the cashier how much is the gum and the cashier said that it is 99 cents and then david said oh no! i thought it was 98 cents.

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff!

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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Who would win Coolio or Vannlia Ice? nieth because Chuck Norris did a round house kick.

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Why did the pasta not taste good? Because your mom made it.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "why the long face?" the man replies with "I have AIDS."

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks. The rest of the bar patrons are thoroughly confused.

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Why can't a blonde woman drive? because she was shot in both legs and cannot operate the pedals without extreme pain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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