An unarmed man robbed a bank today, he failed because he had no way of carrying the cash out.

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why did the plane crash the pilot was Suicidal

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When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's rich...

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Why was the girl sad? Because she was, you idiot!

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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A man with a PhD walks up to a college student and jokingly says "Hey dude, what did the hat say to the other hat?" The student replies "My name is Joe and a hat does not have a mouth, therefore it cannot speak." The student is then unimpressed on how uneducated the man is, also worring about how the man was able to receive a PhD.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The Holocaust.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Atch! Okay.

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A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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What do you do when your condom breaks during sexual intercourse? Get AIDS.

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DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDIEDIEDIEIDEIDIEIDEIIDIE DIE all of you Hahahaha

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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why did the asain hate his life he didn't he was living a good life with large amounts of money with a very hot wife

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? One is a sports car and the other is a baby that is not alive.

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What does a tree do all day? Boredom

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Knock knock whos there Ewan Gudgeon *Shoots Himself cause cannot live with hearing tht name*

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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Two english guys meet at work

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one time there was a fukc then it taked a shat potated pancocks cancer is fuCk 18 why did the cock cross the choad? fUcK

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What happened to The Guy when he got pissed on he was wet

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what worse the 2 dead kids in a van 3 dead kids in a van

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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