What did the pedefile say to the child? Get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +6

oops

thumb_up thumb_down +14

If Earth is a triangle, then why are trees smart? Because turtles have 4 legs

thumb_up thumb_down -100

So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? Four because snakes have no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What has one eye, three arms and one leg? A really weird person.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why 't the blonde dial 911? Because phones haven't had dials on them for at least 40 years or so. She can however punch it in on her keypad.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

This is a joke

thumb_up thumb_down +50

A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Guy 1: Hey, did you hear about this blind guy who went bungee jumping off a bridge? Guy 2: No, what happened? Guy 1: He couldn't see Jack!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why do Africans live in slums Because they have aids

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? You set her on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What comes after 69? 70

thumb_up thumb_down -21

a sabertooth walks into a club. the caveman set his trap perfectly.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why are there so many jokes about people walking into bars? Bars are known as a place most people go to for a social occasion, making them a place that most people can relate with.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many black people did it take to change the light bulb? I couldn't tell, the lights were out.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Oh, go away

thumb_up thumb_down -24

WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

thumb_up thumb_down +22

there once was a man from Afghanistan. Who wanted to bang his brother-istan. they licked and sucked. and kissed then f**ked, he got aids. and never did that-again!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops