Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

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What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

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Why was the baseball player arrested after stealing a base? Because he pulled out a knife and stabbed the shortstop in the chest.

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How did the pig solve the Arab-Israeli Conflict? It didn't. It further exacerbated the problem. The Arab-Israeli Conflict is a multifaceted geopolitical quagmire based on long-simmering religious, ethnic and territorial tensions. A pig is too stupid to understand the root causes of the problem, let alone provide a viable solution. In retrospect, it seems ridiculous to have entrusted a pig with such an important diplomatic mission.

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Whats brown and sticky? A Stick.

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If you see a fat man, what do you say to him? Hopefully nothing mean, seeing as that would be demoralizing to the fat man.

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How do you stop the baby from touching the stove? Cut of its arms.

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What the did the man say to his boss? You are my boss.

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Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

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Why did the most interesting man in the world refuse to eat his buttered toast? It just so happens that the cook accidentally used stale bread, causing it to taste unsatisfactory.

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What did the blind kid get for Christmas? A collection of braile children's reading books.

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

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Whats the difference between the black man and the white man? The black man was born with more melanin the pigment in there skin, which would concur the black man did have darker skin. Also, the white man had cancer.

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What did the Christian say to the Muslim. Nothing. He understood his right to have a opinion even if his religion is against it.

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Why couldent the boy pick up the bunny? He had severe muscular distrophy, and couldent even lift a spoon to his mouth. let alone a bunny

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Latvian guy said to the other latvian guy: ''Why did the chicken cross the road?'' The other latvian guy responded: ''In truth, i do not know. I have not seen chicken in 10 years. The last time was before the red army plundered my village. I can still hear all the screams from the women being raped. But, back to question. Where is this chicken you speak of? I have not eaten in days and my wife and children are close to starvation aswell''

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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yo mama so fat, she weighs 478 pounds and is in high risk of cardiovascular dieses and/or heart failure.

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he didn't have any arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Jimmy was a Potato.

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why did the man blink because i put a gun to his head.

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Why did little Sally throw a stick of butter out the window? Sally had a burning hatred for dairy products.

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Why are cemetaries gated? Typically, to prevent vandalism and the emotional trama it inflicts on the deceaseds' families.

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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An alien, a midget, and a Jew walk into a bar... I forget the rest but your mom's a whore

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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