What did little Jimmy say when he saw a group of dancing blue penguins dressed as cannibal clowns with saucers on their head ? "What the f*ck"

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A mosquito flies into a bar and orders a bloody mary, the bartender then takes out a swatter and kills the pest. Noticing the event, the patrons cheer and continued drinking their frothy beverage. Minutes later, the phone rings and the bartender answers the phone. "Hello?" "Hi, I'm looking for a friend of mine, is he there?" "Let me check, by the way, what's his name?" "Jack Hoff" "One sec. HEY FELLAS(yelling over the noisy bar), IS THERE A JACK HOFF HERE? I NEED A JACK HOFF! ANYONE?" Mr. Hoff, sitting at the bar hears this and asks, "who is it?" "He said he's a friend of yours!" "Which one?" " He said his name's Dick Stroker and he needs help on something hardhe'll meet you around back." "Oh ok, thanks."

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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Two blonds walk into a building....they couldnt see it.

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What did the black man do when his car was rear-ended? He exchanged insurance information with the other driver.

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whats the difference between a black guy and a park bench? well a park bench is an inanimate object that people use to sit on and feed the birds at the park. and a black guy is a living being who is looked down upon in society.

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3 men walk into a bank. They rob the bank and kil 13 hostages.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a fetish for sniffing your shoes.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the paralympics? Walking.

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what's worse that reading something that just wasted seconds of your life? reading this and wasting more seconds.

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There are two kinds of people: Those who have a life, and those who read anti-jokes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Boom! Splat! You'll never know.

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Viciously beating your children with other recently beaten children.

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How do you drown a blonde? Tie a cinderblock to her foot and throw her in water.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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Sarah got hit by a bus.... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah

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A deaf, mute clown wearing nothing but a dead cat, a rainbow wig, and his own feces breaks into a couples home on April fools day. Then he murders them both because he is an escaped patient from an asylum for the criminally insane.

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COME HERE, POTTER!!!! NOW!!! Instead of agreeing to approach the source of the rather hostile summoning, Potter decided to sit down and eat a healthy vegetarian lunch of sausages and chips.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? A one-way ticket to Hell for messing with God's creations, you heathen!

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The red guy lives in the red house, the green guy lives in the green house, and the blue guy lives in the blue house. Who lives in the white house? The purple guy, he just hasn't painted his house yet.

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3021 North Broadway Avenue

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How much wood would a woodchuck chu... Forget this, this is overused.

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Q: Why can't a tomato fly a plane? A: Cuz it's a tomato

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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