your skull would make a nice pen holder

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Redneck girls. Now there's a joke.

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A baby seal walks in to a club

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Its simple, if people do not have the willpower to follow their own desires, their own wishes, they do not deserve to. I have no desire to resurrect what is doomed to fail again and again, that is idealism, of course we would all have liked our own little society where people are encouraged to accept who they are and respect their own kin, regardless of race, culture and so on. But we did our best, we gave our teen years, and what did we end up with? If you think I have given up, you are right, I will help you do your thing however, but I will not stand beside you when the tide turns, had I joined you, we would all have been killed or imprisoned at best, all while "The Wizard" would have gone free maybe even with money and a medal.

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Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

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You know what pansies remind me of? What? A flower

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it.

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That is so sweet of you, for a moment I thought I had said something that might have insulted you, but then again, considering the length of the message I see why it took so long.

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Q. What do you call a guy who only drinks lite beer. A. His name.

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Life is like a box of chocolates! It sucks if you have diabetes

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at checkers? Cause he's dead.

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What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

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Why didn't the boy run the marathon? He was cripple.

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what do you call a Nice Nazi A Nazi... He's still a Nazi.

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? Because he was a heroin addict

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Do you want to hear a joke? Sure. Justin Bieber is straight.

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What happened when the tree fell It killed someone

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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Student; Miss, please may I go toilet? Teacher; Yes, but say your alphabet first. Student; Ok

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What do you all a dead black man? A corpse.

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What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a BMW in my garage.

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Adam and Eve ate the apple and felt a bit ashamed and stuff. God looked upon them and said, well its just a fucking apple get outta here you kids! Adam and Eve also took things a bit too literal

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A boy was constantly getting bullyed at school... so he went home

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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