Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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How do you kill a Chinese hobo Shoot him

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A whole 'nother.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Die bitch

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Dedication and hard work

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar.

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What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhino? A freak.

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What's the only part of a vegetable you cant eat? The wheelchair

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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A man walks into a bar. Except it was a metal bar, like a pole. So he got hurt.

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What did the korean say to the other korean. I don't know i dont speak korean.

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A platypus walks into a bar. They are the only mammals with the ability to lay an egg.

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and have a wonderful time at what many people believe to be the most magical place on Earth.

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Guess what my nephew said yesterday? oh wait, i forgot hes dead..

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Why do girls like Justin beiber Because he can sing good

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Robin, get in the batmobile.

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Why did the blond get fired from the M&M factory? Repeated absences and stealing.

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Roses are shut the f*** up. Violets are shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up.

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What do you call a black guy running from the cops? Nothing. He was out for his morning jog and he happened to run by the police.

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Q: Why do black people hate country music? A: Because every time they hear "hoe down" they think someone has shot their sister.

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What did the little boy get from his parents on Christmas? Nothing. His parents died 2 nights before in a tragic car crash.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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