Why are atheists stupid? Actually, statistically, they are more intelligent than believers.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Guess what what?? chicken butt!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: Why did the Jew have to go to a concentration camp? A: Because he was Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down -20

25

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was mad at it wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock. Who's there? Your bipolar aunt so don't ask again.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea, and neither does the chicken, for chickens do not possess the ability to reason.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

My neighour knocked on my door at 2.30am last night, can u believe it? 2.30am? How rude I thought. Luckily I was still up, playing drums.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the gambler sell his house? Because he needed money to pay for male hookers.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did Henry jump of a cliff? He was in deep depression.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

b

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the difference between dead babies and Christmas lights? I don't have Christmas lights hanging on my Christmas tree...

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the polar bear say when he walked into a sauna? Absolutely nothing because he was a polar bear. I mean seriously, did I even have to ask? Everyone should know that a polar bear is an animal and he wouldn't say anything. If he did it would most likely be a growl or a roar. If you believed that he would have said something you obviously didn't pass the first grade. I finish with the fact that a polar bear would not survive in a sauna because they are accustomed to cold climate. I guess this was just a waste of time.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle-aged and the final couple was newlywed. Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister. The retired couple said it was no problem at all. The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that, it was no problem. The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint. "Can of PAINT!" exclaimed the minister. "Yeah," said the newlywed man. "She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up I had to have her right there and then. Lust took over." The minister just shook his head and said that they were not welcome in the church. "That's okay," said the man. "We're not welcome in Home Depot either."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you get a women stop running a marathon? You tell her that you have AIDS and she should get herself checked.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your momma's so fat that she went on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

i just pooped that is all!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: what do you call a hooker you pay in spaghetti? A: a pasta-tute.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than kissy face pictures on facebook? The porn pictures on facebook.

thumb_up thumb_down

how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops