Who ever invented the "Knock- Knock jokes" should get a "No-bell prize"

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Fine, start by proving to me that you can be a reasonable human being, and I will meet you myself, I have too many of those that rely on my guidance and protection in order for me to send myself off to some suicide mission. Say, are you familiar with the Antony Stark method?

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot? an orange parakeet

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why was the little girl crying in her dads arms? Because he was strangling her

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Why did the fall off the building? ... because I pushed her

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zebras

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Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first baby. Why did the third baby fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What did the man say to his doctor? AHHH AHHHHH OH MY GOD! AHHH OUCH HOLY SHIT FUUUUUUCK!!!... ____/\_____/\_____/\___________________

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So a woman took her drivers test today Since she passed, and tomorrow is her 16th birthday, tomorrow she will have the legal privlage to get her license.

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Why was Sally lying on the ground? Cause she was dead

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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What do you call a homeless person with a dog? An animal lover.

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a fridge halfway through walking.

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Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died! Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey!!

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Why was the girl on the ground? She jumped off a bridge.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Half a worm... What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being Gang-raped!

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Roses are red, yup.

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Why did Bill yell? Because he stepped on a nail.

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Q: Whats different about pizza and jewish people? A: Pizzas don't scream in the oven.

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A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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