Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

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What do you call a kid with one arm and an eye-patch? Names.

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You're momma's so fat, Oh wait. She's not.

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Cyrus: Can you dig it?! Phil: I can feel it calling in the air tonite……..oh lord

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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Why did the blonde commit suicide? Because she hated her life.

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What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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LO AND BEHOLD!

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so a black guy goes to a hot dog eating contest how many does he eat? enough to win.

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How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

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Whats better than the holocaust. Darfur

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what's red and horny a red unicorn

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She's a women.

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Did u hear bout the guy who went to the donut shop yeah he has brown hair

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why suck a long face the horse shits on the floor and walks out

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Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

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The cast of the 'Jersey Shore' is the worst thing to happen to the Jersey shore

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Jake Bowar

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Why did Jimmy fail his math test? Because he had a mental disability

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cata dont talk.

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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Q: What did the anorexic girl do for thanksgiving? A: Nothing, she was paralyzed from a fall 2 days prior and nobody had found her yet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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