Roses are red, Violets are blue. Put down your barbie. Get in the car.

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why couldnt the polish people live in the outhouse? because the mexicans in the basement were too noisy

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An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

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What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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What do you call a gay scientologist? His first name or last name, depending on how close you 2 are.

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Why is French Fries not a Chinese Food? Answer: Because the Chinese people will get offended.

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There were three hungry cows in a barn. One day, one of them finds a stick of butter on the ground, and notifies the other cows of his findings. Since the barn was ran like a democracy, the cows decided via 2/3 vote that the winner of the stick of butter should be decided by a checkers tournament. The problem is that there is no good way to run a checkers tournament with three cows because checkers is a one-on-one game. The first cow suggests trying to find another cow to join in so that they could have a bracket-style tournament, but there were only three cows that lived in the barn. The second cow suggests a round-robin style tournament. The third cow informs the second cow that there is a possibility of a tie because each cow can finish with one win and one loss among the two games in a round-robin tournament. The first cow suggests that the round-robin process can be repeated until there is a winner. This joint suggestion was approved by 2/3 vote by the cows. Finally the checkers tournament begins. The first cow says to the second cow, "you butter not beat me at checkers!"

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Why is a dog smarter than a human? Because you an asshole if you believe me

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what happened when the chicken crossed the road? it didn't the hunter shot it

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What's worse than requesting a three-some to your in-laws? Forgetting to suggest that they me too fragile and disabled, resulting in one of their limbs breaking.

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What's worse then falling off a buliding? Falling of a higher building.

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Why did The Chicken cross The Road? The Chicken was a new drug dealer to town and he did a deal with The Road , the town's existing drug dealer (they used these nicknames to hide their identities), but then back stabbed him to try and take the whole area for himself. Money and Power, as always.

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I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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what did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? cancer.

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Knock Knock. - Whose there? ... ... ... ... Damn kids.

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Once upon a time there was a very lonely man. He was kind, strong, handsome, smart, and basically everything that was good and that a girl wanted. Well, one day, through all his immense loneliness, he decided that it was time that he got into a relationship. Knowing that he deserved a competent and pure woman, he went to a local church to search for his perfect match. That night, he took home with him the most beautiful and purest of all the women in the church, brought her to his room, and whipped out his junk on her face.

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How do you push a blond off a cliff? Push here.

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A Chinese man... pulling another Chinese man in one of those carts behind him.

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What do you call a white duck? A quacker

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Why did the chicken cross the road It was being dragged to the other side by fox It's the way of life _._._

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf.

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why did sarah have to do overtime at work? because i set her house on fire

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What do you call a duck who votes democrat? A duck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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