Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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Hi

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Justin Beiber's Talent.

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why did the kangaroo jump? because its a kangaroo

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Once there was a baby ostrich name Bert. He was the cutest ostrich with those big black beady eyes, fuzzy feathers and funny wobbly baby ostrich walk. I knelt down and as Bert came running towards me as if I were his ostrich father about to protect him from something dangerous. As he got within arm’s reach I punched him so hard he turned into a baby kitten. I decided that Bert was an ...insufficient name for a baby kitten so I said to the purring ball of fuzz “I shall call you Turtle” a kitten named Turtle was a very hilarious conundrum. Things went well for an hour or two and then Turtle decided to pee on my tile floors which infuriated me because everyone knows that cat pee doesn’t come out of carpet! I decided to teach Turtle a football drill called kick the cuddly baby kitten so hard he turns into a koala bear. I sat Turtle on a football tee and suddenly our eyes met and he stared at me with the cutest face a kitten has ever made I took three steps back and turned back towards him. I stared into his big baby kitten eyes and then at a running sprint kicked him as hard as I could into the wall. There was a quiet sound like that of a space shuttle taking off into outer space. As I looked to see where my kick had sent Turtle soaring through the air, I found to my surprise, Turtle had turned into a cute cuddly baby raccoon. I walked across the room and scooped up the adorable baby raccoon. A raccoon named turtle was just too absurd so I decided to give the furry ball of warmth a new and more appropriate name. I stared into his cute raccoon eyes and declared aloud, “I shall call you Dorito!” I rocked Dorito calmly back and forth in my arms until he was fast asleep. A thought then entered my head, how funny would it be to put Dorito into a chip bag? I chuckled aloud and then decided my mind was set. I pulled a chip bag out of my backpack and carefully pulled the bag open and realized I’d been scammed! Inside the bag was a single Dorito chip. I then ate my Doritos.

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Whats worse than finding an actual joke on anti-jokes? A.I.D.S.

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What is worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

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Golf.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

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how many mexicas does it take to.... on wait there done

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a black guy with rights in 1924

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What did the transvestite say to the fox? 'scuse me, you've got something on your shoe.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer murdered his family

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Did you hear about the homosexual that walked out of a hospital? He just found out he was HIV positive. (ic3)

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When life throws you melons you might be dyslexic.

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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What happens when three blind mice go our looking for food? They die because of the mouse traps the owners have because they are tired of loosing food to the mice.

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what do you call a black guy fixing your electricity an electrician

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Whats green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A golf course

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whats the best part of having sex with twenty-three year olds? there's twenty of them.

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What did Batman get for Christmas. Nothing his parents are dead.

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What's funnier than somebody spitting in someone else's food? It's not even funny, it's just plain rude and disgusting.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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Yes and no, you would have ruined what is beautiful yet different within your soul.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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