How did the young child react when a bullet went through his head? He fell to the ground and his heart stopped beating.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the girl go to the hospital? She had an asthma attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was strapped to the first monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why were the 3 men wearing black suits? They just left their mothers funeral, she died of terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two fish are sitting in a tank. One says, "I'll man the guns. You drive."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What does a blonde's pussy taste like? The same as her brain, cabbage.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked: "Why the long face?" The horse said: "My wife just died."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why couldn't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? He was struck by a very serious disease, otherwise known as refrigerator to the face, at the age of 5.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar. It's also a bistro, and they have a lovely lunch together.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what's the difference between a bearded man and bearded lady the bearded man has a penis

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was six afraid of seven? 7 is greater than 6. Didn't you learn about number lines in 3rd grade?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the smoker say when he coughed? Ohhh dam it's turned into a smokers cough

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the PC say to the Mac? Nothing you idiot! Computers can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the donkey cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? Heehaw!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Whats 1+1? Well,According to John Willemain's Business Analysis: Problem Solving Using Calculus and Finite Mathematics it's 2.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call a black man who is poor, homeless, and HIV positive? Unlucky.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a cheetah? Don't do that, I'm pretty sure it's illegal for several reasons.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

What do you call a plane in shining armor? A knight flight.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you know that you tv has been stolen? It's no longer there.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Knock knock Who's there? Hello??? .....

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Yo mama so ugly everybody died. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the Latino feel uncomfortable during anal, vaginal, and oral sex simultaneously? Because she was being raped by three men.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops