my egg roll

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What is the difference between a woman and a whale? One has big whiskers and is fat and filthy, the other one lives in the sea and is a mammal

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because goats lay eggs.

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Why can't Dave drive? Because Dave is an orange.

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Why did the mouse cross the road, and then go down it? It tried to get cheese on the other side, but got hit by a SUV and was stuck to the wheels. The rat on the wheel goes "Squish, Scratch,, Mush........

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How are Steve Jobs and The iPhone the same? They got progressively thinner over time.

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what do you call five mexicans pushing a truck up a hill? Five mexicans stuck in the middle of nowhere looking for an auto mechanic.

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What word rhymes with orange? -Adult onset diabetes

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Whats the same about a Mole and an Eagle? They both live underground, I lied about the Eagle.

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who's specky and stinks of shit? josh moran

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little miss muffit sat on her tuffit eating her curds and weigh along came a spider and sat down beside her and said hey whats in the bowl?

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Q: What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A:One is fun to hit with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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So a gay guy walks in a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind, get out." The gay says he will drink in the corner. Later, a construction worker walks into the bar. He says," Man, I'm so thirsty I could drink the sweat off a cows balls." The gay guy in the corners says," Mooooooooo."

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

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Whats a joke with no meaning? This one

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Why can't a T-Rex clap? Because they're extinct

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Q. What did the Muffins say to the man? A. Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects therefore unable to speak.

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Linda: See that rainbow? Isn't it beautiful? Bart: I'm color blind.... Linda: Well...this is awkward...

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? 'Get in the batmobile Robin'

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Knock Knock Who's there? Not Harry Styles! - Louis

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? I don't know, he couldn't open it.

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What is worse then dying of testicular cancer? Living of testicular cancer and having one amputated?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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