I'm so hungry I feel I would be able to ingest large quantities of food.

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Your moms so stupid she ate all the food in the grocery store

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! :)

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What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

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where was Billy during the bomb? Every where

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what do you call your mama at the gas station

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roses are red violets are blue

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what did the schizophrenic get for his birthday? new friends

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Pickle

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What is the first thing you should do when a person is choking? Make sure the person is choking How can you tell if a person is choking? If he's going like this: aaghh gaghhg agghhh gaghhhhh ghghaghghgh

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How do you make a girl happy then sad within 5 seconds? Buy her a pony and then shoot it

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Q: What's the biggest difference between a black man and a white man? A: Their skin color.

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what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

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Why did the tornado cross the road? Because it's a tornado, that's what tornadoes do.

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What do you call an asian plumber? A plumber.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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what is the difference between coke and pepsi? -they are competing soft drinks made by different brands

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens have short memories and no motivations other than food.

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FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

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A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

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Why did Jimmy's grandma never come home ? Her liver failed .

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Why did the business man jump into a mud puddle? He didn't. He was brutally stabbed to death then thrown in a pigpen in an attempt to conceal the evidence.

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Ian is cutie!!!!!;)

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops