Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue.

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Ok, So what happens when an Irishman, Rabbi, and a Black guy all walk into a bar. Nothing the Black guys a recovering alcoholic and is supported by his loving family and friends, especially by his son Martin who he promised to stop drinking when he was 7.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

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What's the same about a clown and a knife? They are both fun, except for the clown. I hate clowns.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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How do you fit 6000000 jews into a car? 1 in the front, 1 in the back and the rest in the ashtray.

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A doctor rides in his Mercedes Benz through a rough, poor part of town. He sees a homeless person who is begging for money. The doctor stops and gets out of his car and asks "Ill give you some money if you need it for food". The homeless person then shoots and kills the doctor, takes his wallet, and buys crack.

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How you know when dislextic

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... They all died in a horrible train wreck.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Roses are red Violets are FUCKING VIOLET NOT FUCKING BLUE

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

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What do you call a black man standing on a sidewalk? Preferably race shouldn't matter in this situation, but in most social circumstances the man would be described as black to elucidate the person being depicted.

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Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

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What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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What dithe blackman say to the white man ???? Nothin! They both committed suicide.

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I jack off

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whats the differnce between madalin macan and batman?...batman returns

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Jake: Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Steve: She had no Arms. Jake: Knock Knock Steve: Who is there? Jake: Not Sarah

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Person 1: Knock knock Person 2: Who is there??? Person 1: ..................................... Person 2: (Opens Door) Person 1: BOO i scared u and ding dong ditched u Person 2: Actually "Ding Dong Ditching" is when a one or more human beings search for a targeted house where they ring the door bell and run to a designated location to hide. After the resident opens the door to find out no one has stayed and waited, they close the door and the human beings quickly run up and repeat the task many as times until the resident finally catches them.

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A man walks into a bar. Because he's had a rough day, he asks the barender for a drink. Then another... Then another... (continued) The man walks out of the bar and goes to his car. He starts to drive back to his house. He wobbly makes turns and closes his eyes every 5 seconds or so. He also talks to his boss on his phone for the majority of the ride. Surprisingly enough, he makes it home safely and doesn't harm anyone else despite the large amount he had to drink. He stumbles into his apartment and goes up to his room. He slumps down onto his bed on his back very heavily, causing the room to shake a bit. He opens his eyes, only to find his glass shandelier falling from directly above his face. His body was found by his girlfriend the next morning. I guess there's no real moral to the story then... Maybe it's: You can drink and drive, but don't put a shandelier directly above your bed... I guess? Wow. What are the odds?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are yellow Azeleas are pinkish purple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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