How do you stop the neighbors kids from jumping the fence into your property? Molest them.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Bees inside of your eyeballs.

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What does the English major do? Write anti-jokes because he has no job

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What do you call a dude dinosaur that's into other dude dinosaurs? A Bi-ceritops

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What do you call a black man in court? A lawyer.

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Q. Why was the dad sad? A.His favorite team lost in the championship.

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Why did john have to have back surgery He needed his back "screwed" up

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Racial Equality

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he needed to get to the other side and he was using a crosswalk

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

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Why do Asian men love noodles? Noodles are delicious!

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What's 1+1? 4.

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9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

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What has two legs, but cant walk? Steven Hawking

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What is big, grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

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y u no like me joke?

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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I ounce had a parrot it talked buy never said im hungry so it died

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Your Grandma and your mom drove off a cliff, who survived? Both of them, they didn't drive off a cliff.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

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kid: dad! a kid called me gay today! dad: son, im 100% ok with u hurting that kid! kid: i cant! hes too cute.

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did u hear the one about helen keler neather did she

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops