How do you make a priest cry? ... You kill his family

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Ask this to your friend. "Yo man, I really need your help on this question. Can you tell me color comes after 9?" guaranteed "wtf"

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What is faster than a black guy stealing a TV? His brother with a DVR

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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Chuck Norris doesn't wait in traffic, he takes the subway

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

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My friend was driving me home from a party, and was quite drunk. I was relieved that we did not get into a car crash.

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You wanna pop a bottle? I hope you are referring to bottles of water as I am underage and I refuse to partake in any said consumption of alcoholic beverages

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what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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whats 2+2? 4

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Why did the little girl have grass stains on her white dress? Because she was dragged into the forest and raped.

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

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Q: What Did Alakazam Use To Listen Gangnam Style? A: He Used Psybeam.

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? His mother threw a fridge at him

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"Never trust what the internet says." - Abraham Lincoln

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Today I was reading anti jokes. At first I didn't get it, but then I figured it out and...ah crap, why am I writing this, it's just going to get thumbed down...

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How can you tell if there is an idiot at a dogfight? When someone pits a Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a moron at a dogfight? When someone BETS on the Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a cheater at a dogfight? When the victory goes to the Chihuahua.

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So a guy and his monkey walk into a bar I don't remember the rest of the joke but you mom is a whore

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An elephant walks up to a camel and says why have you got a pair if boobs on your back, the camel the replies that's a funny question coming from someone with a dick on their face.

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What do you say to a blind buss driver? You suck

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how come timmy didnt brush his teeth he didnt have a toothbrush

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who is jacked and looks like a beast? • James Cornish

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What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

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How did mary and molly have sex it is impossible for two women to perform sex

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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