A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Tulips are red, And my garden is red. OMG...MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE

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Sex with people under twelve years/MONTHS? You think I am a pervert or something? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: DAMN STRAIGHT I AM! People use to tell me they know I am good on the inside... Joke is on them, I I fool them all by being slightly kind on the outside!

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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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Where does the girl with one leg work? Ihop

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Hey babe, are you a refrigerator? -No... Good--'cause I wanna f*ck you so hard. Best pickup line. Always works.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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What's big, red and looks like a bucket? A small blue bucket labeled big red bucket.

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What did the muffin say to the oven? Obviously nothing since neither one can talk.

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A man is in the desert and he finds a lamp, he rubs the lamp and out comes a genie! The genie says "I can grant your three wishes, for releasing me from the lamp" The man says "I wish I didn't have AIDS".

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how do you make a plumber cry?.... kill his family

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A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

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1 out of 4 questions. How do you get a girrafe in a fridge? Open it, put the girrafe in, and close it.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? The list goes on.

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How do you kill a blonde? You wait until she dies of old age, then copyright her death.

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A Knock, Knock B There's no door. What are you knocking on?

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What do you call an Islamic man fling a plane? A very frightened passenger who took over flying the plane when the pilot collapsed due to a heart attack

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Suzy:I love you like a fat man love cake. Dave:(proceeds to say nothing as he is fat and is buzzy eating cake)

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What did a husband do when he came home to find his wife murdering their children? Nothing. There is no excuse for domestic violence.

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Hellen Keller

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A handicapped man rolls into a bar. He buys a drink, talks for a while, and rolls out.

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Dylan Hodge likes to lick his mums penis to sleep every night.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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