what starts with b and ends with itch pickle

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Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

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how do you get a girl to stop ignoring you? you kill her family with her watching.

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Why did the bunny hit the drum? It didn't because it did not have the mental capacity or physical capabilities to do so

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How do you make a tissue dance? You really can't, but you could grab it and shake it around so it looks like its dancing.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Yes.

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What do you call a mexican sleeping in a car tired.

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You You who? Yoohoo! is anybody home?!! Well obviously or i wouldn't have talked to you. Idiots these days!

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What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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why was the woman out of the kitchen, because she had to have sex with her husband in a bed

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PENIS that is all

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What's worse than failing a school test for Peter? Nothing, because he is asian.

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When life gives you lemons, you must also have a proportionally sufficient amount of both water and sugar in order to make lemonade.

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What would you do for a Klondike Bar? Well I would open the freezer.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Me. ME?!

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What can you tell by a black guy who walks into a bank with a ski mask on? His face was severely disfigured in a horrific accident.

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What's cooler than being cool? Being really cool

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I'm innocent its all Taggart he's the one instigating.

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A child is in class. He really has to go to the bathroom. The teacher tells him if he can recite the alphabet, he can go to the bathroom. The kid holds his breath and goes A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z. The teacher tells him good job and allows him to go to the bathroom. When the kid got there there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy. when the teacher noticed the boy was gone for a long time, he went to check on him. When the teacher saw the dead naked body of the boy hanging from the ceiling, he shot himself. The teacher had a family of a wife and 3 sons. The principal of the school had to call the Wife and let her know about the tragedy. The principal also thought this would be a good time to tell the wife that her husband has been having a homosexual affair with him. The wife takes her three sons and drives off a bridge. They all die minus one son (age 14) who had to grow up on the street with other homeless men. He became addicted to crack and when he ran out of places to get money from he decided to rob his old home. He broke into the house and didn't know that a new family has moved in, a married couple and their 1 year old baby. He doesn't want to go to jail, so he kills the baby, spreads the blood all over the parents, ties the dad up and makes him watch his wife get raped, then he shoots the parents before putting the gun on himself. A police officer who responded to the scene had a heart condition and the scene of the crime caused him to have a heart attack. But, he got to the hospital in time and lived.

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how do you keep a bunch of black kids from jumping on the bed? your real firm with them and tell them someone may hurt themselves if they don't stop with the horseplay..

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Go ask your mom.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours Stolen propety....

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25

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Have you ever ate a donut? Yes I have. In fact, the donut I ate recently was fairly delicious.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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