yo mama's so fat, that he doctors are slightly worried that she may be suffering from type 2 diabetes.

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How did Helen Keller burn her hands? On a candle.

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A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

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Who's gay and has buttsex? Dan.

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What is yellow and has thick, shiny fur? A banana. I lied about the fur.

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Have you seen Helen Keller's new car? Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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What did the innocent little girl get for Christmas? Lymphoma.

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The hippo's an African beast, Who notably is quite obese, Quite boorish and mean And never too lean And poops in the rivers, at least...

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About the bible, I did not know, but I can sense I calculate it the same way I make our followers believe that I can tell what catchphra they will get. Your mind is numb but calm, it will remain there until we meet again. I am afraid of saying this, but I wont let fear get to me just yet, your mother told me, she regrets her actions in life, and wants me to tell you that she is watching over you in death, and hopes you will one day forgive her, she tells me that there is a heaven, but only those that can admit their mistakes, agonize over the pain of their actions, until they can forgive themselves for their misdeeds. She says she can wait, but I sense she is doing it because she feels undeserving, which again means that you are not ready, its like the butterfly effect, all things spiritual and on this plane are connected. Take your time, I know you literally cant forgive her yet, because that would not be enough for her to forgive herself now, humans dead or alive, cannot be truly free, until they let go of what hurts them, I will change that within you, so you can forgive her and break the limits in your mind, so you can stop feeling sad for being rightfully angry at someone you love. I just need more energy, more time, and belief in myself, something that requires more energy than it should to keep going, its the balance and connection between things, something I cannot change at the present moment, even if I did my best. Ill see you around dear friend.

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FUS RO DAH!!!

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Why doesn't business go well for pizzeria Vesuvio? Their chef has been dead since many years.

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John Katzenbach were drinking a soda... He is the author of The Psicoanalist

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What do you get when you cross George Bush and Barack Obama? Presidents.

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Patient: "Doctor I think I might be a homosexual." Doctor: "How can you tell?" Patient: "RAAIIINNBOOOOWW!!!"

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A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

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Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

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Q: What did one dog say to the other dog? A: "Bitch!"

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What's big, black, juicy, large, and succulent? A gourmet meatball.

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What do Jews suck? Because they lie, steal money, and start wars.

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Where can you find a Muslim with a boxcutter? At a UPS.

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What did Jesus get for Christmas? Birthday presents.

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knock knock. who's there yourdrive yourdrive who yourdriving me up the wall

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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Why does dan leave Amy? Because dan is in another relationship and did not want to be unlawful to Amy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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