Hey, dude, wanna hear a joke? Sure... Pussy. ...I dont get it... Exactly! HAHAHAHAHAHA

Q: If a midget walks by a woman stops and says "your hair smells nice today" is it sexual harassment? A: Yes, sexual harassment is a very serious subject and should not be allowed no matter your race, religion, or size.

What do you call a cold chicken? A Raw Chicken.

your mother eats so many chocolates and sugary confectionary that i would recommend a check up the the dentist.

What's yellow and highly dangerous? Shark-infested banana pudding.

Q:Whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead baby? A:The dog has skidmarks in front of it -RDV

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

jordan HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH

Have you ever heard of a goose?

''thanks for giving me back the money i lent you david''-said nobody

Q: Whats worse than 8 babies in one bin? A: 1 babies in 8 bins

What's the difference between a watermelon and a car? A lot.

Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not sally.

Why was the girl talking to the trashcan? Her entire family was killed in a forest fire. She was the only who made it out but she had several scars and burns. For six years she had no family to talk to. She then gathered an obnoxious amount of cheaply made plastic trashcans and painted her entire family on the trashcan and proceeded to talk to it. For several years now she has been in deep conversation with the trashcan. She then attempted to ask the trashcan a series and intense question in which the trashcan did not respond to. The girl grew very frustrated with the trashcan because it did not answer her question so she angrily threw it off the side of a cliff in the middle of the woods. To answer the question above, as the trashcan was violently falling off the cliff, the girl yelled, "See you next FALL"

Did you know, every time you close your eyes, a ghost appears. Once you open your eyes it disappears. PROVE I'M WRONG!?

Knock Knock. Whose there. We have a warrant for your arrest.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

There are 3 guys, a fat guy, a skinny guy, and sexy guy. They all work together and have lunch together. The fat guy opens his bag and eats a ham and turkey sandwich. The skinny guy opens his bag and eats a tuna sandwich. The sexy guy opens his bag and eats an egg sandwich. The fat guy finishes his meal. The skinny guy saves half for later. The sexy guy ate more than half of his food. A genie magically appears. The End

What does an eagle and a worm have in common? They both live in the ground. Except the eagle.

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some dreams stay dreams, But some dreams come true. Some want to be god, They want to have made us. But I want to be an astronaught, So I can explore Uranus.

a mushroom walks in to a little boys party the boy says why are u here mushroom says because im a fun-guy (fungis,fungi)

Why did the black man jump off of a bridge? -He was in depression and comitted suicide.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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