What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Eating mud

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why didn't God show up to Jesus' bar mitzvah? Because he doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

"The only thing worse than being talked about is getting AIDS." -Oscar Wilde

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Harold Camping and the May 21st 2011 rapture.....

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a black guy that sings? A singer.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

japan4.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas? He's his dad. He bought the presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

hey timmy, wanna go to Disneyworld?! tough. *10 seconds later* still no timmy

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What word is always spelled wrongly? None of them. Every word has been spelled right at some point.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the little boy have a gun pointed at his head? Because he hated his life and wanted to kill himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what does a granny look best in? 1950

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the black man get fired? In this economy businesses are downsizing and outsourcing jobs for cheaper labor.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the blind pole vaulter say to the speed skater? Hi, how are you?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you get when you cross a road with a car? Severe injuries or even death.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why didn't the boy blow out his birthday cake this year? He died last year.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

So a cat a dog are in a field.The dog then proceeds to eat the cat and take a nap

thumb_up thumb_down -4

i feel like i will die some heroic death, but its more likely i will trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A dog says to a horse "Hey, why the long face?" the horse just looks at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man with a barbie doll walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "I bet you $100 that I can turn this barbie doll into a beautiful lady". The bartender laughs and says "Okay." The man takes out a brush and begins brushing the doll's hair. Seconds later the man has a seizure and falls to floor a dies. It turns out he was a drug addict and had a fatal over dose. The bartender never got his $100.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

4 people: A pilot, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a little kid, are all on an airplane with only 3 parachutes, when the plane's engine explodes and starts to go down. But the pilot makes an emergency landing at a nearby airport and everybody is okay.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is black and white and can't fit through a revolving door? A nun with a harpoon through her back.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

knock knock! who's there? me.(walks away...)

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops