What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

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What's more fun then spinning a dead baby around on a clothesline at 50 miles an hour? Stopping it with a shovel.

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one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

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What's the difference between an orange and a dead baby? One is a popular citrus fruit commonly grown in Florida, and the other is a horrible tragedy, possibly caused by miscarriage or a serial killer, who was hopefully immediately jailed for his actions.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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There are 2 men are standing on the roof of a building, one of them jumps off, the other one is named Peter

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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What has four legs but can't walk? A tranquilized bear

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The pennis has a tuff life, his best friend is a pussy, his neighbors is an A hole, his family is nuts, and his master beats him.

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Why does Susie fall off the swing? I shot her in the head with a pistol.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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What do you do when life hands you lemons? Such a statement assumes that life is an actual person, which is impossible. Thus, you do not need to concern yourself with what you must do when life hands you lemons.

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What's slippery when wet? A wet slipper.

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Roofs are Red...I have a Cunt!!!

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Who likes to be fisted? Sock puppets.

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A man walks into a bar and is promptly sent out because he is under the age of 21.

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your mama smells so bad she should probably go take a shower.

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YOU KNOW WHO ELSE LOVED AND NURTURED ME THROUGH MY CHILDHOOD YEARS? MY MOM.

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What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

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Where does Charlie Sheen Shop? Winners

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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-Why was little Johnny sad? >Why? -Because he had a frog stapled to his forehead.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it slipped from his hand.

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I have a really good knock knock joke. You start. Knock knock. Open the door see who it is and then slam the door in your face THE END

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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