How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man who can't spell walks into an Arab.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

hey! Wanna hear a bird joke? No. Well this is Hawkward....

thumb_up thumb_down

There was once a man with a penis so huge, his girlfriend liked their sexual experiences very much. A year later they got married and had kids, however the man got fired from his accounting job and it all went downhill.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender for grapes. The bartender explains to the duck that he does not sell grapes. Later that day, the bartender recounts the story to a friend; the friend advises the bartender to undergo psychological testing.

thumb_up thumb_down +414

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Women's rights...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

ive got 99 problems and my diabetes is one of them

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: Why did the black man run from the chainsaw? A: Someone was trying to kill him with it.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the chilean guy told to the other chilean guy? Hola!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

28

thumb_up thumb_down +58

all jokes aside...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I was diagnosed with Clinical Depression the other day.... It made me sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,485

Q: What's worse than seeing a scorpion A: being stung by that scorpion

thumb_up thumb_down -7

jibby jobby

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you do when your dish washer breaks? divorce her.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you get if you cross a river with a cat? Wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Not black berries because black berries come from a bush.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops