A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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how do you get a 1 armed moron out of a tree? you wave

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Why couldnt the old man ski? There was no snow.

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Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

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What's worse than losing your phone? Getting raped anal until phones fall out

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Fire extinguishers are sexy.

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven the first muffin turns to the other and says "Its pretty hot in here." the second muffin jumps back and yells "HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

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Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

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What's round and cheesy? A cheese wheel.

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How do u make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face

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What's big, white, and kills niiggers? Hurricane sandy

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If 1+1=2, then you must have passed first grade arithmetic.

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Q. What do you call a black priest? A. Holy Shit

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What do you call a black man eating a chair. I don't know and this is highly unlikely because chairs are inedible therefore this circumstance is impossible.

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Person 1-How do you spell pulmonary embolism? Person 2-P-U-L-M-O-N-A-R-Y E-M-B-O-L-I-S-M. Person 1- Thanks. Person 2- Your Welcome.

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What hurts more than a bullet? A bullet penetrating your skin, muscle and embedding itself in your body

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Murray Harnett Smells like a dirty Burringbar Whore!

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Whats the difference between black and white. Nothing they're both colors.

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what do round tank toilets do? blow up CC

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There are two kinds of people in this world: those that finish their sentences

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Girl: That's pretty big. Boy: That's what she said. Woman: Yes, I enjoys large genitals.

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what did the aboriginal kid get for christmas? your bike.

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What did the girl say when she was hit by a train? Nothing she exploded on impact

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Pick up lines: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're wearing a university of Tennessee sweatshirt. If I could rearrange the alphabet to put 'U' and 'I' together, I would not do it because I would have to reorganize all of my alphabetized files. Is it hot in here to you or am I experiencing early signs of a stroke?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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