A father and son get into a car crash. They go to the hospital and both the father and son are unconsciuos. The doctor comes in to the son's room and says, "I can't operate on this boy, he is my son. How could this happen if the dad is knocked out? It was a gay couple.

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So this Horse walked into a bar... Just kidding, it was Sarah Jessica Parker.

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A labrador, a chihuahua, and a great dane walk onto a bar. They are strays and were brought to the pound where they were more than likely put down or adopted.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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What happens when you throw a cricket bat at a blonde? She is hurt and reports you to the police for anti-social behaviour.

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Why was the fat man removed from the restaurant? When his date didn't show up he started and crying and proceeded to stab himself with a fork

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If god gives you lemons keep the lemon go to the store and buy oranges to make orange juice.

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What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

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Shit!

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I told my doctor I’m the first man on the face of the earth to suffer from morning sickness. He promptly corrected my mistake; my excessive vomiting is actually caused by chemo.

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Why did Winston Churchill cross the road? Grave robbery has become a huge problem lately in the United Kingdom.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Why did the black man eat lucky charms? Because it was breakfast time and he was hungry.

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You want to know something bad? A bag of dead babies. You wanna know something worse? One was still alive. You wanna know something even worse? He ate his way out. You wanna know something even worse? He went back for seconds.

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Why was six afraid of 7? Because 7 was a terrorist.

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what did the penis say to the vagina? SMACK SMACK SMACK

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Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

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Knock knock. Death.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road Because he was not happy with his life at a chicken due to the fact take he was going to get eaten by a black man so he hoped that if he crossed the ride and got hit by a car and die he would regenerate into a poisonous frog

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What's the difference between a Jew and a piece of coal? The coal doesn't scream when you burn it.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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two scientists line up a frog at a line and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off one front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off the other front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off a rear leg and tell it to jump it jumps 2 feet they cut off its last leg and tell it to jump it doesn't move they tell it to jump again it doesn't move the scientists come to a conclusion: frogs with no legs...cant hear

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?", laughs at his own joke, then calls animal control.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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