Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

thumb_up thumb_down +28

If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples, how many pancakes can hit the roof? ...Purple!! Because aliens don't wear hats.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the man sad He wasnt i lied

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why didn't Susie's dad come home on time? He was dragged into a dark alley, then stabbed in the eye. When his body was found 2 days later, Susie couldnt stand the loss and hung herself the day after her father was found.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A women walks into a bar which is means she is pretty rich to be able to have a bar in her kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +16

whats annoying and black? black people

thumb_up thumb_down +123

How can a chicken be dirty? It can be covered in dirt!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What are the differences between a black man and a park bench? One's a chair and ones a person.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is black and burns really well? charcoal.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What happens to a red rock when you throw it in a blue sea? It gets wet

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A:Knock Knock B:It's open

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the girl trip in the middle of the street? She tripped over the kid who dropped his ice cream because he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call the worst band ever? Nickelback.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

There once was a mathematician, a physicist and an engineer in a room without an exit. The ceiling catches fire. They all die.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man who can't spell walks into an Arab.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's worse than getting pulled over by the police? getting pulled over and getting a bloody tampon stuck to your forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why do we have school? 2 learn duh y r u even askin? ur STOOPIDE!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock Knock. Who's there? Commie. Commie who? Commie Johnson. We went to high school together.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why are ther so many black people in the NBA? Because culturally Basketball is a very popular sport among a lot of African Americans, thus providing a lot of African Amercans to play Basketball professionally

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What is the difference between John and John Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops