Knock Knock Who's there? The Gastapo

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Jokes about the Holocaust

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Your mother is so stupid that she claimed the pole ran into her.

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In Soviet Russia, there was a population of approx. 293,047,571 people. It was dissolved in 1991, it is now know as Russia or the Russian Federation.

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Why did Suzie fall off the Swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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A monkey and his owner walk into a bar they sit down at the bar... I dont know the rest of the joke but your moms a whore

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It takes a minute to know somebody, an hour to fall in love, but a lifetime to forget. Once, my mom forgot me at Disney World.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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i have to pee out my ass.

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You know what turns me on ....? TABLES!! You know what turns me on even more...? TABLES WITH CHAIRS!!!

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Why can't you get a pterodactyl use the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

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"You've got a lot of C in your body." said the doctor. Jimmy replied with glee: "Ah that's great news, vitamin C is.." "No you've got Hepatitis C, you'll be dead within a month."

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How many apples come from trees? None, not a single one of em'

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How do you know if elephants are watching a movie? If a Volkswagen Beetle is parked outside the movie house.

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What do you get when you cross a zombie with a beer? Nothing because zombies are just another subject dealing with the occult.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

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/\ The joke above was really dumb. \/ The joke below is pretty good.

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Why did the old lady walk across the road? She was on her way to the convenience store on the other side.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

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Religion.

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Who gave Max head georgia Hidi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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