Roses are red, Violets are blue, I don't have cancer, but you do. Love, your doctor.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? This website is terrible. Are you servers from 1990? I hope you all get cancer.

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Only in your math books can Carlos buy 14 cantaloupes without hus sanity being questioned.

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Why is the redneck crying? They died of diabeetus.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia So do I

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What do you call a highschooler who smokes weed, shops at the mall, and has date-raped one girl so far? Popular.

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What's worse than finding gum on your shoe? Being molested by a sea urchin.

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How do you kill a polar bear? Global Warming.

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Hey buddy what's up? I justed wanted to know if you wanted to hang out tonight. Just call me and tell me what you wanna do. Ok that's it see ya. Oh yeah! I gave your mom an STD...sorry dude...it just happened. I hope your dad isn't mad. Again, really sorry. Ok bye.

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So one day a man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like to drink. He said he would like a glass of water. The bartender said "why come all the way to a bar just to get some water." The man responded "well its a longer walk to the coffee shop."

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A welsh guy walks into a pub. This something any average guy would do.

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Juggling lions and breast feeding.

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A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

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Why does snoop dogg carry around an umbrella?? ......fo drizzle

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Q: What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? A: Popcorn Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? A: F'uck you -Ap

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Worth more points.

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guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Wii.

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Why did Jimmy fall of his tractor? Because Jimmy doesn't have any arms or legs...Why doesn't Jimmy have any arms and legs? Cause Jimmy is a potato.

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what did the boy get after his first communion? unwanted intercourse with his priest that resulted in scaring him for life, until the day he killed himself because he could never get over it.

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Ask me if I'm a rock. Are you a rock? No.

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Kid: knock knock Orphan: whos there? Kid: not your parents

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How do you fit four gay men on a bar stool? You build an exceptionally large bar stool

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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