What do you call someone who kills a black person? A cop

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Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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little potato when born allicator don't have neck, if u like me it's cause u stole my scooter

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Lil Wayne

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Why did the little girl cry? The little girl cried for mercy as her attackers violated every inch of her innocent body, tearing her up from the inside until her organs were forced out of her anus and blood squirted from her ears as the pressure inside her body exceeded to a maximum. After the attackers were done with the corpse, they cut off her limbs and stapled them to her head.They placed her now decomposing body on the front porch of the worried parents' house and rang the doorbell.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an apple and slicing your mouth on a razorblade

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Nothing because saying a fish can talk is like saying Obama is a good president.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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You arrive in the middle east. What is the first thing that you want to do? Leave

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A man walks into a park and presents candy to children. They request more candy and thus are laureded into his van. They are raped murdered and never seen again.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Why did sarah fall of the swing? she has no arms. Knock knock. whos there? not sarah.

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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Whats green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? A girl scout that got hit by a car

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What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

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Roses are red, Violets are red, my eyes are bleeding

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Roses are red Violets are silly Grease up your flaps Cause here comes my willy!

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why didn't paul ride the horse? he was busy

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How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

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What's worse than a burglar breaking into your house in the middle of the night? A rapist breaking into your house in the middle of the night.

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What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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