goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, im scared of toasters

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Bill gates walked into a store and farted. It stunk up the entire place and the employees were mad. But it was their fault for not having windows.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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Jon has 50 chocolate candy bars Jon eats 45 of them. What does Jon have? Diabetes...

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! That is a joke which very few people would find even mildly entertaining.

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Why did Mark get paralyzed? Because he was a famed football player that went drafted for the 1st pick but was later hit so hard that his spine com pulsed and tore

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Why did the little boy cry? Because he was badly burnt in a house fire.

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What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Do you like fishsticks No

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What did the teacher say to the boy whose dog had just died? Haha, your dog just died.

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1: Hey whats better than bacon? 2: What? 1: Nothing. Nothing is better than bacon.

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Excuse me, I have a shitload of stuff to do, so you are Eliza huh? I thought that was just one person conveying something to someone. Anyway, what is your name? My name is actually Nero, but you do not strike me as an Eliza, first name is more than enough. You know, if you dare, Ill be back shortly, I was gonna shower but then again, I haven't moved at all today, so yeah. Saved you? I have never saved anyone well, excuse me then, see you around, worry less about people bothering with us chatting, hell they might risk learning something (not a chance, people here are fucking jackasses, with one exception, and I do not mean me this time).

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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Guess what's funny? People voting for their own Anti joke.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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What do you call a Mexican that is jumping off a building? A suicidal jumper!

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How do you make a plumber sad? Steal his plums.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why was the girl crying? She just got diagnosed with cancer you inconsiderate bastard.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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Whats the difference between boyscouts and jews? Boyscouts come home from camp.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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