Q. Why did the child's mother tell him to clean his room? A. Because his room was messy.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 pounds. My girlfriend was a fatass. Wasn't gonna make that mistake again when I found a woman to marry.

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A man walk into a bar. He then falls down, quickly picks himself up, and continues his life.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? John.

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What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

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A fat guy!

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Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

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A man sees his friend and asks jokingly, "Hey is that ketchup or blood on your face?" The friend replies, "No, I ate your family," and shoots the man in the head with a rifle.

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Did you hear about the guy with seven fingers? You should, because almost everybody has seven fingers.

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knock knock who's there a black person SHIT!!!!

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What do you say to a rock? Meow

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What do you get when you put the head of a lion on the body of an eagle?2 dead animals and a fine for killing protected species.

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1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

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Finding TWO worms in your apple.

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3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

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Why did the cat eat his food? Because he was hungry.

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I'm funnY!!! Haha pënis

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A muslim guy walks into a bar and orders a water as he isnt allowed to drink alcohol

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Why couldnt the boy poop? Because he was staring right in his eye.

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Why did the handicap man scream for help? Because he fell out of his wheel chair

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A man rode into town on friday and left on friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a week

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What grows best during the cold Winter season? The number of deaths among homeless people.

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings. Now hats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Three bee stings.

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What's red and has zippers? Nothing, because watermelons can't physically drive without the help of a sheeps spinal cords ... DUH

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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