I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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Ask me if i'm a tree... "Are you a tree?".... No

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An Indian lady is pushing her child down a footpath in a stroller whilst leading her dog. A refridgerator lands on the mother. Why did the Chinese man behind her cry? Because loss of life is a frantic event and having witnessed such an event he was deeply shocked. He was also sad that no dogs were killed. This is because a dog killed his wife in a freak accident and he has held a grudge against the species ever since.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7.... because 7 was black

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yo mama so fat she decided to go on a diet :)

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What did it say in the end of the book? The End.

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How did the idiot die? He comitted suicide because people were picking on his stupidity. (If you laughed at this you are a horrible person)

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What did the father say to his son? I'm leaving and I'm not actually your father.

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A Black Man walks into a bar...

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Boo." "I don't know anyone by that name. Please go away."

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

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What is the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves

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How do you sink a Polish battleship? You breach the hull.

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A horse walks into a bar. The Bartender says "Why the long face?" The Bartender is then put into a lunatic asylum for hallucinating and trying to communicate with said hallucinations.

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

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How do you tell if your sister is on her period? Cause your dads dick tastes funny...

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A: What do you call a female bombing the white house? Q: A terrorist

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The Holocaust.

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Roses are red And heres something new Violets are violet They're not friggin blue

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How does a printer work? You plug it in.

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what do you get when you cross a rhino and a chicken? well, if you're unlucky and too close too the chicken, salmonella if you provoke the rhino, impaled

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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