What is one plus one? I don't want to do math.

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What does an Irishman order at the bar?? A beer

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s o m a a d i t u n y s n i t a c s d c ' s k h k s t o e l y e

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A Jew buys something that is not on sale

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WHo owns a white van? JOSH!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A chicken doesn't need a motive to cross a road, it just does.

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cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer

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Why did the boy scratch his back? A:because it was itchy.

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Yo mammas so fat you know what, i think she might die!!

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A man decides to go hunting in the woods with a shotgun, he is going through the woods and a bear randomly pops out of no where, knocks him down and rapes him. So the next day he came back with an even bigger shotgun and said, "i am going to kill this bear" so he goes through the woods, the bear comes out of nowhere, knocks him down and rapes him again. So he comes back the next day with and even bigger shotgun and says, " i am going to kill this bear, skin it, and eat it" so hes going through the woods and out comes the bear, knocks him down, gets real close to his face and says, "you dont come out here for the hunting do ya".

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What's plastic and kids turn it on... A xbox.

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How can you help Sally who is casually gets beaten by her farther every day? Just give £3 a month to the NSPCC

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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roses are grey violets are grey everything is? grey i'm colour blind fml

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Why couldn't Timmy ride a bicycle? Because Timmy was a goldfish

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A guy walks in to a bar, waving a gun around. He acidentally shoots himself in the foot He died from the bloodloss.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Have You Ever Seen Stevie Wonder's New House? No.. Neither Has He.

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Ask me if i am a tree? "Are you a tree" No.

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

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What did the boy do with his ice cream? He ate it.

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A blonde is rowing a boat in a cornfield. While driving by, another blonde notices and pulls over and steps out of her car. She looks out and yells "You know, it's blondes like you that are giving us a bad name. If you weren't so far out, I would swim out there and beat the shit outta you!"

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What do you call a rollercoaster without a coaster? A roller

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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