whats 2+2? 4

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

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Q: Why do Asian children tend to be smarter than other children A: They have longer school years

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What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

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Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

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The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

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Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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It's likely that very few people will read this.

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What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

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A duck walks into a over 7-11 and says "Give me some Chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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What did the camel say to the polar bear at the bar? "Uuuhhrrhrhhh"

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why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock! who's there? not suzy.

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How did Danny break his bike? No one really knows. The best probable guess who be a tree fell on it, because Danny and his bike were found under a fallen tree.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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Your mom is so fat that her doctor told her to go on a diet.

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What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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Hey, have you heard the one about the elf and the watermelon? Neither have I.

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What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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