A man walks into a bar. He is an alcohol and it is killing his family.

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Why did the monkey follow the tree? Because it was dead.

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Three men walk into a bar. They order drinks. This joke isn't funny.

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What is the difference between a refrigerator? Seven anchors because blue isn't vital for turtles to fornicate.

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How do you kill a blonde? Irreversibly damage her vital organs to the point where she loses consciousness and will never wake again.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Numerous different objects because many different things can posses a variety of colors, including the ones listed above.

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what did the Hispanic man say to the black man? hello

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i think i have a problem with these jokes they aren't finny

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A man walks into a bar and says "I just got back from the battered woman's shelter, and boy are my arms tired" Everyone laughed. The man sat at the end of the bar drinking alone. He was proud of the fine craftsmanship of the shelves he put up in the shelter's pantry, regardless of what others may think.

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Why was the kid crying? Cause he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why was Ethan talking to the potato? Because he is stupid.

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What do you call a gay woman who likes to smoke cigarettes? A lesbian with a possible nicotine addiction.

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Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

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How does he keep getting girls to sleep with him? Bear-traps..

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Whats the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari? The Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am colorblind I hate my life

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How do you find out the population of Mexico? The census.

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A man says to a woman, "hey, bitch, shut your fucking mouth you goddamn hooker." Most hookers are used to it.

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What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

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Never mail in your wished to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

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Wanna know my life in a nutshell? Well you can't. Life is an inanimate object an will therefore not fit inside anything, let alone a nutshell.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, this joke sucks.

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Yo momma so hot she won a beauty contest and was later shot and killed by the jealous losers

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Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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