how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

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A man walks into a bar and utters profanity because he's hit his head on a protruding metal object that cannot move out of the way and has therefore made him look stupid because he neglected to walk around it.

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Why did the weiner dog have a bad childhood? Uncle Monty put his foot up its arse on a daily basis before chewing dorris's nose, ears and eyelids.

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A man cries out to god.. and god doesn't answer.

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a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

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Roses are flowers Violets are flowers

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Your mother is so ugly that she looks like you.. :)

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Q: What do you call a black person living in the United States? A: An African American.

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Why did the woman go in a elevator with Ray Rice? Because they were both going to the 25th floor and stairs would take too long.

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fabien

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HAHA i just read a joke!!! and i liked it! :D to bad you dont know what page it was on... wanna know?... YOUR..... #1 LALALA

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One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."

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-What do you get when you graph the division of x by the square root of 69? - I don't know, what? -I was asking you, as my family's low economic status hinders my ability to buy a graphing calculator.

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What was the leg less and armless mans favorite type of music? Nubstep

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A scottish man having fun

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What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

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What's sad about 3 black people going over a cliff in a Cadillac? Cadillac's seat 6

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Question: What did Mr. Reeves say. Answer: Nothing

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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guess what what ...

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Imagine a scenario Add a Rhubarb Crumble into your scenario Add your mother and father sitting together watching the news in your scenario. Your scenario should take place in an old people's home Add an Olympic athlete doing the splits into your scenario If there were any crane-flies in your scenario, be sure to subtract them at once. Divide your scenario by two. Your scenario should now be a mental image of flying horses and a hippopotamus eating a large salmon mousse. There will be a pig tied to a pair of sunglasses.

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Latvian guy said to the other latvian guy: ''Why did the chicken cross the road?'' The other latvian guy responded: ''In truth, i do not know. I have not seen chicken in 10 years. The last time was before the red army plundered my village. I can still hear all the screams from the women being raped. But, back to question. Where is this chicken you speak of? I have not eaten in days and my wife and children are close to starvation aswell''

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How many baby's does it to paint a wall red? It depends how many you throw.

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knock knock who's th...AIDS.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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