A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says what do you want? the duck says nothing cause ducks can't talk

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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What did Batman's mother say when it was time for dinner? Nothing, Batman's parents are dead.

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Why didn't Jimmy's mum come to the school play? She had a heart attack

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What happened to the man who lost his left arm, left leg and eye in an accident? I expect he claimed insurance, assuming he was prudent enough to insure himself, or his workplace complied with legislation.

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Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a tire swing? A: I don't have a tire swing hanging in my backyard.

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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a black and a mexican are walking down the street, two cops look up to see this and immediately say "shit, this can't be good".

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A blind man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He has gotten used to being blind all his life.

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the mean terrorist said "i am going to kill your mother" that mother is now dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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Do you know what Stevie Wonder's house looks like? No. Well, neither does he.

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Why did the police officer shoot the man in the wheelchair? Says the police: "He was running"

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, grass is green, sky is blue, dirt is brown, fire is orange, water is transparent, powder is white

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how do you delete your joke off anti-joke? you don't.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

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I love you. You love me. I killed you're family. No you're an orphan.

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Jack and Jill ran up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and died.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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What Do You Call A Black Guy Surrounded By Nine White Guys With Bats? Jackie Robinson.

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for Christmas? The sweet, merciful release of death at the hands of his father, who had been struggling with the emotional and financial drain of raising a severely disabled child for many years. It was only a matter of time before the man snapped, as he was a single parent working twenty hour days, seven days a week, to just barely cover all the medical bills that the specialists and therapy incurred.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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