How Do You Fart Eat Beans

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There was a man sinking in quick sand. He looked in the sky and said, "God, if you spare my life, I'll be a great person and believe in you all my life." He died.

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What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

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Why did the Jew pick up the loose change on the ground?Because he has to use it for taxi money to get back home.

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? No neither have I

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Whats worse than HIV? AIDS

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga A: You pokerface

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Wanna hear a joke??... No...... oh ok :(

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R: Caught my wife cheating the other night. P: You bitter? R: Yes. I am.

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 magnum and murdered her violently.

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Q. How do you kill a fish A. You don't have to BP already did

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Penis in a box.

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What did the catholic priest say at the AA meeting? Alcohol is ruining my life.

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What is the reward for the pimp who banged a bitch? HIV

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Why can't Jimmy talk? He's dead.

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Women deserve equal rights.

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Q: What has eyes but can't see, has arms but no hands and legs but no feet A: a blind man with his hands and feet amputated with cancer

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guy walks into a bar, ouch

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Why does Justin Beiber's asswhole hurt, and his father's dick was brown? Because he ate mexican food and his on his dad's dick.

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What's the difference between a turtle and a horse? The horse has no shell.

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knock knock Goodbye

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Nobody knows why she swallowed the fly, she probably won't die.

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Q. What is worse than having 100 dead babies nailed to a tree? A. Having 100 dead trees nailed to a baby.

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A woman walked into a bar at least that is what she tells her friends about how she got a blackeye.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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