What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a couch? A coat because vests don't have sleeves.

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Haha, I get it..

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, you're entire family is dead.

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A man walks into a bar what does he say Ouch

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What's brown and smells like poo? Poo.

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Skittles are tasteless. Why? You can't taste the rainbow.

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One white male lives in a city with all blacks. He puts up with gang violence nearly every day.

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Why did Bert go to the doctor? He had an appointment.

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A man goes to his doctor and asks: ""What is wrong with me doc? One moment I think I am a teepee, the next moment I a, a wigwam." To which the doctor responds: "I have told you several times sir; you have stage IV pancreatic cancer."

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That depends on a variety of factors.

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Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

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Three guys walk in to a bar. One got a concussion.

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How do you scare a 5 year old girl? Stick your dick out.

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What did the prostitute eat for lunch? Nothing because she was too busy performing oral sex for money.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? An Xbox 360.

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Girls get fucked Boys fuck Gays puke

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because seven, eight, nine.

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why cant dinosaurs talk? because they're all dead.

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Two Atheists walk into a bar. A nearby Christian notices this fact and proceeds to slightly preach to both of the Atheists. They then kindly explain that they don't personally believe in God, but respect the Christian's opinion. They all order drinks, and become very close friends, engaging in a long, hateless conversation.

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Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber? Lady Gaga has a penis.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you didn't know that, go back to school.

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-What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Why did the penis rape the vagina, because it felt good!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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