Get off my porch.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Brain fart

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the dog chase the cat. Cause he was fking hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the man's pants fall down? He was not wearing a belt and had recently lost some weight.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the football player go to the bank? He had to make a deposit and refinance his home.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the baby stop crying? Because he stopped breathing.

thumb_up thumb_down +352

Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the boy with arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call it when a woman doesn't want the child she is currently impregnated with? Abortion: a very sensitive and controversial topic.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Lisa spill her drink? Her plane crashed.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

There are 500 bricks on an airplane. If you drop one out, how many are left? 499. There are three steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator. What are they? Open the fridge, put the elephant in, close the fridge. There are four steps to putting a deer in the fridge. What are they? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the deer in, close the fridge. The Lion King is having a birthday party. All the animals are there but one. Why is that? The deer is in the fridge. A woman wants to cross an alligator infested swamp. How does she do it? She crosses normally because the alligators are at the Lion King's party. She dies anyways. Why? She gets hit in the head with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +439

Do you want to hear a joke? To bad! :)

thumb_up thumb_down +30

knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Dear crush, I want to drink you

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why didn't Avery die when he got hit by a bus? The bus was going three miles per hour.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walks into a bar. Ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the black man cry? He was grieving the death of his brother C.D

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walked into a bar. He said "ow". Tragic.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why do you never see hippopotamus hiding in trees? They are really good at it.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Two rocks are in the playground. Nothing happens, because rocks are not sentient beings and are thus incapable of producing any sort of activity on their own.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man walks into a store, and says to the cashier: "I'd like to buy 6 fridges". The cashier says: "Why do you need that many fridges?" The man says: "I'm an antelope!"

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Jokes are funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? -absolut vodka Well, you have a sirious drinking problem...

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops