What's brown? My toilet hahaha

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Why was the middle-aged doctor morbidly obese? He liked bacon and was severely hypocritical.

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A seal walks into a club... the seals freinds later inform him they are now at a bar the seal then walks into the bar... the seal was later beaten to death

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Q: what did Don Draper do after he saw an attractive woman at the ABC store? A: went home and thought about her while drinking his scotch.

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Why did the fat person build a lift in his house? He was caring for his terminally ill mother which has a cancer and got both her legs amputated due to the cancer spreading to her legs.

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a dyslexic made a dessert. it was a bit dry.

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What do you call a baby with no arms or legs? You call a lawyer, and be sure to have him ask the mother if she took Thalidomide during pregnancy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Neglegence and irresponsibility of a farmer.

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Why did the Mxican eat the taco? Because he was hungry,

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josh Roberts you speccy CUNT

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Roses are red, Sometimes they're white. Or pink. Or yellow. There are roses of many colors.

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Math: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 4 in the other, what do I have?" Answer: "An unreasonable amount of bottles to hold in two hands."

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What did the tree say to the boy? Nothing. As i recall, trees are unable to speak and or show signs of emotion.

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Roses are red violets are flowers jordan and me did it for hours If you know what i mean xxx

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(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

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I don't want to hear another joke about female hygiene, PERIOD! -Lets go Mets

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Why were trash man's hands dirty? He got shot in the leg and desperately tried to get the bullet out with his hands and got blood all over them and ass he was running to the hospital he tripped into shit.

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Why did helen keller's dog run away? He lost track of his destination and got lost.

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My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

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What do a black lesbian, Adolf Hitler and Jesus have in common? They are all the subject of this question.

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Hai Patrick Hai Patrick

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Are you from Africa because YOU GOT AIDS

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Betty. Answer the door!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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