Looking's for free... Touching's for free.

A Black man walks into a bar. He then has a drink of Alcohol and walks home to return to his family.

Q:Why do people not live forever? A: Because they die dumbass.

Does your face hurt? Because if it does, you might want to see a doctor.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Lots of things. Life isn't all about you, you know.

What happens when you stab a black man? An equal race rights protest.

What happened to the toddler on the swing? She was left unatended and was raped.

womens rights

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a passing car.

Why did the cop shoot his 4 year old son? Because the little bitch ate his leftovers

How do you get a girl out of a tree? You throw a refrigirator at her.

What did the dog say to the astro turf? SHUT UP!! I don't want to here your excuses, put the dishes away when you're done with them or so help me! You see the dog had been abused as a puppy and as a result he was always a bit off.

how did the asian man get on the internet? by opening his internet browser just like everyone else

Yo mama's so fat. PERIOD.

What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life changes and moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medical prescription as directed by her doctor.

Why did John suck at sports? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

An airplane crashes into a state park. There are no survivors. Susan continues her stroll in the park, considering she is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair, she isn't aware of the nearby disturbance

"Bitches are fake, talk shit get hit!". False, female dogs cannot speak in the tongues of humans, and if they could I am sure excrement would not come from their mouths.

Why did the homosexual cross the road without looking both ways? He was blind......

Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

Hello? Hi. Who is this? Yo mom. Your not my mom. Im the Irish man that did your mom.

What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin that someone shot with red paintballs.

Why are elephants ears sooo big? The big ears are to help the elephants stay cool. Elephants don't sweat, so they have a hard time dissipating excess heat (keeping cool). Their large ears contain many blood vessels that allow heat to escape into the air. When you see elephants they are usually moving their ears back and forth. This fanning helps to dissipate more heat than if their ears remained still. The enormous ears of elephants act as cooling devices. The gigantic earflaps (which can measure up to 2 square metres (21.5 square feet) are equipped with an intricate web of blood vessels. When the animal flaps its ears, the blood temperature lowers by as much as 5 degrees Celsius (9 degrees Fahrenheit). To keep cool

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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