What do you call a man with 3 legs and one arm jumping on a trampoline? By his name.

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Why did the koala fall off the tree? Because it was dead.

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There was a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman. All three of three of them walked into a bar. They began a heated debate over the benefits of their healthcare plan, payed the tab on their drink, then proceeded to drive home in their Toyota Prius.

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What did the mollusk say to the sea cucumber? I don't know. Neither of them can talk.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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Izzy and Zayn Malick got married. Then Zayn asked for a divorce due to their age difference..

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walk into your friend’s house and say “what’s up with the dead guy out front?” (you have to murder a person for this joke to work)

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Have you heard that Bert & Ernie from Sesame Street are gay? If so, than whoever told you may be mentally challenged, Bert & Ernie are both puppets which even though they resemble people with active personalities, they remain puppets and do not have a sexual oreintation.

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why didn't the bully beat up the nerds? His mom got arrested for molestation and his dad got sent to Afganistan so he was too depressed to beat them up.

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Q: How do turn water into wine. A: You don't.

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A llama walks into a pub. Actually, he didnt, because it is physically impossible for a llama to stand up and proceed to walk over 2.8 feet. That stat was a lie.

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Q: What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferari? A: I don't have a ferari in my garage.

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How did sally fall off the swings? she had no arms. Knock knock, who is there? Not sally.

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Why was the Jewish man in jail? He lit a local CVS on fire.

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ohai. whutz en ahntei johk? sownz soopihd.

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What happened when the black man approached a dinosaur? Nothing, for dinosaurs were eradicated from the face of the earth 135 million years ago.

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Why can't Sally ride a bike? Because Sally's a fish.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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What do you call a dog with 2 legs? Doesn't matter, it's not going to come anyways.

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Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

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You're so straight!

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck says "Got any grapes?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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