why did tom shut his bedroom door? grandma was fingering herself

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think you're smart But I've got a plan for you.. Leaves are green Stems are too You lied to me Now I will shoot you.. Violets are blue Roses are red You made me angry And now you are dead.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The interrupting doctor. The inter-- --You have cancer.

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knock knock who's there? Police oh shit

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You know whats retarted? people with down syndrome.

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When ducks fly in a V formation do you know why one side is longer than the other? Because there are more ducks on that side.

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Q: How do you kill a goblin if the fries are next to the sushi? A: Yes. Walruses have nostrils and rubber chickens don't like microwaves!

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What can hitler cook well Steak

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

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A man see's a bird and tries to get its attention by whistling at it, much like if it were a dog. The mans whistle fails to get the birds attention because birds have wings and dogs do not.

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Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? Everywhere

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When adolf hitler went to the chippy, He ordered a bock wurst. Later, he ate the whole thing and said he wants another.

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A man has a meeting with his doctor and his doctor says "I have some bad news, you have cancer and you have alzheimer's," to which the man replies... "Well at least I don't have cancer." This is an example of a fallacy claim.

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Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

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What's the difference between Stephani and a momma hippo? The mother hippo is slowly but surely losing weight while Stephani is packing on the pounds! :)

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A man walks into a bar and gets drink

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Do you know that car over there? No.

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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How did the family of Cubans get to Florida? They flew first class from their home in upstate New York.

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Why was Junior sad? His parents were killed in a car crash.

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What's worse than heartbreak? Getting run over by a steamroller.

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My Mom was strutting down the runway. Then she got trampled by a plane.

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Why did the girl fall out of the tree? Because she had no arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops