Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

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What is shaped like a duck without a beak? A duck that I punch the beak off of.

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Just happy you are back Nero, I have no idea what a proxy is but I am at my mum`s place, is everything alright between us now?

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What is the difference between a girl and a woman? Age

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How do you make a clown sad? You kill his family.

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What's worse than seeing a real joke on this website? Having diarrhea.

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In my eyes Nero, you are much like a philosopher, the kind which are mocked while they live, and then a couple thousands years later, are recognized as the most intelligent beings of their time.

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What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

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Joke: What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho Cheese! Anti Joke: What do you call cheese that's not yours? Sally's Cheese

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What did one chick in a clothes shop say to another? That's cheap

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why did the clown go to the hospital? i hit him in the leg with an axe.

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What do you call a group of asians? China.

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Q. why did the chicken cross the road A. damn it this joke is a million years old shut up

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Q: What's blue and fuzzy? A: Blue fuzz

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How did the stuntman die? He was gored by a buffalo on a trip to Yellowstone.

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Roses are red violets are blue suck my **** and I'll **** you too

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Q. How do Italian girls shave their legs? A. They lie down outside and have someone mow them.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why do black people enjoy watermelon? Because it tastes good.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He had nobody to go with :)

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Beacuse she has no arms or legs. Knock knock. Who's There? Not Sally.

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A lonely man walks into a Self-Esteem class. He sits alone in the back because of his low self-esteem. Forever alone.

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what do you call a mixbreed of a bull dog and a shitzu? a sharpei

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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