Roses are red Violets are blue I have AD i love squirrels

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what did the homeless man get for christmas? nothing.

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whay did the monkey fall out of the tree? he was dead. why did the cat fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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What's worse than seven babies in a trashcan? Not much.

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What did one barstool say to the other? Nothing, inanimate objects cannot talk.

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Knock Knock Who's there? My fist

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Q: If a midget walks by a woman stops and says "your hair smells nice today" is it sexual harassment? A: Yes, sexual harassment is a very serious subject and should not be allowed no matter your race, religion, or size.

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Man I'm Bored Nice to meet you.

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why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

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A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender calls animal control.

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What's funnier than 24? Many things, the number 24 is not very humorous.

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Mel Gibson and a Jew walk into a bar They proceed to have a pleasant conversation and both take taxis home

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su algato es en fuego

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so a blind man walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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How do you make a 4 year old cry? You tell him all his family died in a horrible plane crash.

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What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? Porn

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Time to get a watch

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Whats the difference between a baby and a bowling ball? I dont have a bowling ball stapled to my tree

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What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

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Why did the housewife become a farmer? Because the kitchen was burned down in a horrific accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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