why did the Cow die....? He didnt!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

j.p. is dumb

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is grey and looks like a rock? A rock

thumb_up thumb_down -9

When is a door not a door? Never.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Karen was an average high-schooler. When she got home she often went online to chat with strangers. One day she started chatting with a nice girl named Jami. They really got along, Karen could tell Jami all of her secrets. One day, Karen decided to met her new friend at a local park without telling her parents. When she arrived she discovered the gruesome truth about Jami. Jami wasn't in high-school. She was a ten-foot tall, vicious, velociraptor.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why do animals on the side of the road stink? Well they don't, you just think they do when in reality all it is, is there insides rottening From prevous days of exposen of the air now as far as I know all the little baby squrriel Wanted was it get his nuts in the road and it bring back to his starving family counting on him to bring Food to the tree next thing you know a soccer mom's van ran the poor baby squirrel over. Now me knowing this squirrel myself (don't ask me how) he wanted to go out in style you know get ran over by a mustang or a lambo not some bitch ass mini van with sliding doors and a dvd player convinit for the kids to watch spongebob.... man I bet that squrriel was pissed!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What happened to Michael Jackson yesterday? A: Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

knock! knock! whos there!?! abandoned baby!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Haikus are easy But they often dont make sense flying flamingos

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? By grounding her.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock! Ding dong.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A dermatologist walks into a strip club. He tells the stripper she has hives on her back and that she needs to go to a clinic, then gets up from his lap dance and reports her to management.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

whats brown and sticky? shit

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Justin Beiber

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you make a bowl of cheese? First you get a bowl. Then insert the cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he dropped his phone fell in.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a man will dementia who just killed his cousins, wife, children, and teacher. His name. He's still a man until he's put in a mental institution.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

yo mamma so fat she got pied to be the Olympic swimming pool

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Bean.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q) A Christian, slightly disabled but perfectly capable man has a packet of Jaffa Cakes. He strolls casually toward the edge of a cliff, rapidly checking his watch. The man slowly examins the packet before gradually opening the packaging. First the box, then the packet. He quickly throws the jaffa cakes over the edge of the cliff, Why? A) The man doesnt like jaffa cakes

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Adam: knock knock!! Eve: who's there? Adam: don't be silly, just open the f*cking door!!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops