A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Why was the swing in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

The chickens have become self-aware!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you get when you cross an l with a line? A t.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Coach walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, i can't serve you. You aren't wearing pants. Coach says "put it on my bill."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

your mom is so fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock knock Who's there? A very long space I see what you did there

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was the little boy late to church? He was getting raped by the priest. ....the priest was late too.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

h

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the boy not get picked up from soccer? His mom was in a fatal car accident. His dad simply forgot.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

how do you kill a jew? inject him/her with gratuitous amounts of cyanide until they cease to have brain function and a pulse.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I cut my pubes, Now they itch a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Ask me if I'm a tree I don't need to, because I know you're not a tree

thumb_up thumb_down +29

what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did one banana say to the other banana? Answer: It didnt say anything because bananas are inanimate objects, so it isn't humanly possible for a banana to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because it is the decaying remains of a corpse and therefore lacks brain and muscle tissue depriving it of the ability of though and movement both of which are key skills in the art of dancing.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

ugvvvvvv

thumb_up thumb_down -2

"knock knock" "whos there" "poop" "poop who" "poop in the toilet"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's a foot long and slippery A dick

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's worse than finding out you have aids? Nothing. Actually I lied. It would suck being an illegal immigrant.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops