Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call cheese that isnt yours? Stolen cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Jimmy: Knock, knock, Grandmother: Who's there? Jimmy: Jimmy Grandmother: Jimmy who? And then Jimmy held back tears as he knew grandmother's Alzheimer's disease was getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A blonde runs into her house. She died in a tragic backdraft fire. Always check to see if the doorknob is warm.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

69

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms or legs. Knock knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why didn't the woman go to the kitchen? She was kidnapped and forced into sex-slavery

thumb_up thumb_down -31

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? a new bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A dyslexic woman goes into a saloon and asks for a hair cut. Oh right, she doesn't have hair! Then why the f*** would she enter the saloon? Because she wanted to get her nails done. But she doesn't have nails either, and she doesn't want to drink. She came there because she wanted to hook up with a guy!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the girl ask her brother for aids? Because her room was a mess

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A guy wants to build his house out of bricks. So, he hires some experts and they build his house with bricks.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A: The dead baby was once alive, while the ferrari couldn't possibly have lived since it's a car and cars are inanimate objects.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Your mum. Your mum who? Dinner is ready, come down stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the little boy sad? Because a stranger stole his shirt.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Three baby seals walk into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How do you make a bull angry? Light it on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

thumb_up thumb_down -48

a burglar walks in a house the alarm goes off and the police come

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I have a toaster. I have two subway coupons and a handful of pubic hair equal trade baby

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops