What would Muhammed do?

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12

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Have you ever seen a cowboy chasing boot?

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Why didn't the ice cream cross the road? ??(?/?) ?. (KOREAN)

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People with the best sense of humor visit anti-joke.com.

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Tic tac toe. I never met my father

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what is the best thing to do if you are stuck in a cave with ten lions that haven't eaten in ten years? well the lions aren't the thing to worry about because if they have not eaten in ten years then they would have starved to death

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how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

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boys

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A terrorist. What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. What are you racist or something?

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why was the frog sad..... because it had a science lesson with the year 10s about the insides of animals

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a shed? A: Considering babies are incapable of rational thought it is unlikely they would understand how to employ the correct method to paint.

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A man walks into a bar. He asks the bartender for a glass of milk. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve milk here.

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What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

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Panda walks into a restaurant with gun ready to eat, shoot and leave to finish a really good grammar joke, but before he can eat, Animal Control tranquilize him and seize his gun. So all he can do is leave unconscious. Meanwhile someone takes enjoyment in slowly burning the dictionary entry for "Panda".

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Why did the pedophile skip breakfast? He said that he would grab a little something on the way to work...

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the black man get a life sentence in prison? Because he was involved a mass stabbing in a night club London which saw 4 local teenage girls lose there lives.

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Roses are 3:18 Violets are 3:18 I Just figured out a pattern. And saved peoples lives with the help of Keifer Sutherland.

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knock knock 'who's there?' 'just open the door'

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Roses are Green Violets are Black Everything's different since I took crack

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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