why did the boy drop his ice-cream? because he got hit by a bus

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- Hey, guess how many people are dead in that cemetery? - I don't know. How many? - All of them.

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how many pieces of wood can a lumberjack cut in a minute? three dead squrlles a hat and and half of a tree oh and a bus. and if u get in his way alot of guts spewed every where

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Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench A: The NBA

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how do you get a scouters power level to 9,000? power levels dont exist in real life therefore cannot reach 9,000

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Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

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Why did Obama give a speech? Because he is the president and people look up to him

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, becuse if something is red all over it cannot be black nor white.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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what does chuck norris use to cut scissors? another scissor.

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Q: What kind of time is it when you fall from a ladder and are moments from landing straight on a operational circle saw? Moral: ITS TIME TO SPLIT!

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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If an ugly person got raped. What would that be called? Nothing. It is never gonna happen. Kelvin Yang.

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What's the difference between a baby and a mushroom? One is delicious, the other is a mushroom.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playhouse in her backyard? Well if you didn't, it was quite nice. I was her neighbor.

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What do you get when you mix carbonated water, caramel color, aspartame, phosporic acid, potassium benzoate, caffeine, citric acid, and natural flavor? Diet Pepsi

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar They are friends and continue to have a pleasant evening

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Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? the pigment in their skin.

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How many TV shows are there? A lot.

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What is large, white, and can't climb trees? A refrigerator.

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What do homeless people get at Christmas? Cold.

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

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Your mom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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