Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

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Q: Why did the man die of starvation??? A: He didn't eat for 3 days!!

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo. Moral: Cuckoo!

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A man walks into a pole and says "I know, this pun is lame"

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was mauled by a tiger.

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What did the kid with cancer get for christmas? Hope.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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Q: Why are there no tablets in the jungle? A: The pharmaceutical logistics involved would be enormous and would make very little business sense.

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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knock knock. I have a doorbell, you don't have to knock.

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Your mom.

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What did the onion say to the the the other other onion Ima cut you fool and make yall cry

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Knock knock Who's there? A ghost A ghost who?

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An old woman and her grandson arrive at the hospital, only to discover the floor drenched in triceratops shit.

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A man walks into a bar, drinks a few beers, then calls a taxi to take him home because he knew the risks of drunk driving.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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A man said to a performer performin in a concert,"Go break a leg!". The performer did not respond because he is perfoming.

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This sentence is not humorous in any fashion whatsoever.

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So a guy is on his way to work and he nearly gets hit by a bus. He sticks his middle finger up at the bus driver but a couple seconds later he realized that it was the same bus he was supposed to get on so he apologized to the bus driver and got on the bus. He was 15 minutes late for the 420th time this week so he was fired from his job and went back home. On his way home he was not allowed on the bus because he left his oyster card somewhere so he had to walk home. 69 minutes later he arrives home to his wife and kids. What did the man say to his wife when he got back home? "Hi."

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Name two things that are stupid and can get stupider. You can't , there's only one a blonde

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what did the dead woman say the boy? I am dead.

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-What do you do when the dishwasher is broken? -Slap HER!

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A black man, Jew, and Asian walk into a bar... What does the bartender say? get out.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer was depressed about the low business and farmer's economy, so he poured gasoline all over himself and lit a match. The barn burned down and the chicken was the only survivor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops