Anders Lungren is a worthless peice of scrub

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Whats the difference between a bong and a nigger? My bong works

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So there are 5 people on a plane the president, a movie star, and man who is on the verge of making world peace, the smartest man in the world, and the pope the piolt has a heart atack at and the plane will crash soon there are only 4 parachutes. So the first is Obama and he saysI won a Nobel piece prize and I run American see ya later and he takes the parachute next Steven hawking says sory pope Im taking this because I don't believe in God and black holes are cool so he takes the parachute and jumps out. Next Charlie Sheen says I need to entertain people and keep the drug dealers in business so he. Takes the parachute and jumps out. Then Francis turns to the hippie and says if you achive world peace it may help eliminate some poverty so you take the last paratute and jump out then the hippie says in return no its OK Steven Hawking took my back back. When they land they decide to serch for Steven's body and they find nothing. You see Steven Hawking had taken his own paratute with him and took the Hippies backpack to sell it and make some money

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese.

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Why did the weiner dog that punctured Doris' bladder get carried away during an oral sex session? Because the dog had a terribly troubled childhood which led to a faliure to adequately function in adulthood

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OMG guess what she just told me!! idk......im deaf.

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When you wish upon a star... You are only seeing the light of that star, which has taken billions of years to travel here. The star that you are looking at has most likely dead, Just like your dreams.

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TROLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOL

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Somewhere, sometime in the world a man leads his country prominently in an era of change. He makes beautiful and strong speeches to his people. He also kills millions of Jewish people. No seriously, he kills millions of people it's great.

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How do Mexicans have sex? They get in bed, and the man puts his dick in his partner's vagina.

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What is a chinese person in your house? A human being

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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So a man is in a car smoking weed when he forgets to crack a window so he over doses and dies. The car crashes and he kills 3 other people.

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From the makers of Call of Duty 1, comes Call of Duty 2.

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What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

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What do you call a kid with a peg leg and an eye patch? Names

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

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What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

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(PC) What did the homosexual man say when accidently sat on a stick? Ouch.

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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So a man walks into a bar and he says "Can i have two beers?" The bartender says "Sure, Budweiser or Heineken?" The man responds "Uhmm... which one do you prefer?" The bartender says "Heineken."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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