A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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Roses are reds, Viloets are blue, Thank God I'm a christian, And not a jew.

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When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

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A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital due to a large aneurysm that has burst in his brain because he walked into the bar.

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A frog in a blender

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Q. Whats Red and yellow and has braces? A.Pierre-Louis

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Knock Knock Who's there? a tree

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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Hey, Max!!

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I have read and agreed to the Terms of Service

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How do you kill a polar bear? Global Warming.

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Why did a black person beat a white person in a race? The white person was hindered because a polar bear was biting their leg the entire time.

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what's black and white and red all over? a zebra in a blender

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They beat her mercilessly.

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how do you get 20 people in a mini? open the door would be a good start but i dont think they will all fit.

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Q: why did the girl fall off the swing?? A: because she had no arms or legs.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

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What is the difference between men and women? Several physical functions such has the reproductive systems, bone structure, and voice pitch.

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:-)book

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A: u wanna die B: that is a stupid question because unless u are suicidal u will not, retorical or not A: i do wanna die B: u should get some help u freak person a never did get help, while walking to a certivied psychiatrict evaluater he got hit by a truck. his body can be found at the intersection of church and flatbush, brooklyn. JK he got shot, he was in brookly, duh.

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I like touching my boobs

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what is my catphrase nothing I am too good to have one

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How do you get Doctor Phil in a bikini? Give him a little alcohol to ease inhibitions and offer him a suitable bribe.

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You know what they say about a man with big feet! They say it's indicative of the size of his penis, although there's no scientific evidence backing this up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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