What did the tree say to the boy? Nothing. As i recall, trees are unable to speak and or show signs of emotion.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A ninja walked into a dojo and was kindly greeted by his master.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

i dont like chris

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did the man with no legs get for Christmas? A piano

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you, f*** you.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Dani Barton is not that! She is a great girl with a strong heart and feelings. The statement below is a joke, hence why it was published on AntiJokes. This is NOT a joke however.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: Why did the boy fall of the swing? A: He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Michael Hoffman leaves the gym

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? She was a mother catering for her child's sporting event.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

The worst part of waking up, Is no Folgers in your cup.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Your name is Fired, your Boss comes up to you and says "Your Fired" You say "I know my name." Your boss gets mad and throws you in a chimney

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Three guys walk into a club, one is a fat ugly chode face bastard, the second one is a 4 foot 2 cricket champion and the third is a handsome young man.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

theres a mexican, an asian, and an american in a plane, they're about to crash, so they all have to throw out something they have a lot of in their country. The Mexican throws out beans, and says "I have to many of these in my country." The Asian throws out rice and says "i have to many of these in my country." The American throws out the Mexican and says "I have to many of these in my country."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the sock go to kroger cause he was laying on the couch

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock Knock. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

I like my woman like I like my coffee. Good.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he lives in a chicken coop and has never even seen a road.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

why are there so many peadofiles in the world? sexy kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you get when you cross a dog and a school bus? A dog and a school bus are not sexually compatible and therefore they cannot reproduce.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What's the deal with air line food? A: An airline meal or in-flight meal is a meal served to passengers on board a commercial airliner. These meals are prepared by airline catering services. The first kitchens preparing meals in-flight were established by United Airlines in 1936. These meals vary widely in quality and quantity across different airline companies and classes of travel. They range from a simple beverage in short-haul economy class to a seven-course gourmet meal in long-haul first class.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Barbara Streisand

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do squirrels and Justin bieber have in common? Everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops