A wife asks her husband if he can fix the sink and he responds with Do I have plumber written on my forehead. Then she asks him if he can fix the porch and he responds with Do I have contractor written on my forehead. So the husband goes on vacation and comes back to find the sink and porch fixed and he asks his wife how it is fixed and she says that the new neighbor helped. So she says the neighbor said he would only do it for cake or sex. The husband respond by saying Which one did you choose. His wife responds by saying Do I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead.

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what do u call a joke with no punchline? A non-harmful joke

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How do black people vote? They go to their polling place, register, then vote for their candidate on election day.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having your entire family killed in a car accident

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How does a blind bit of difference differ from one that can see?

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What's the difference between a horse and a chicken? They're different species and also the chicken is female, while the horse I was referring to is male.

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How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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Anything Dane Cook says

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What is black and blue? A pen with reversable ink.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? This website is terrible. Are you servers from 1990? I hope you all get cancer.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas A bike.

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What did the Priest say to the Rabbi? Nothing. The Priest was mute and the Rabbi was deaf.

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Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

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What did the japanese man say to the other Japanese man? I like your eyes.

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Whats the similarity between a bike and a black person? They are both stolen

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What did the electron do after losing his proton? Trough electromagnetical forces, the electron simply left it's atom, making it become a positive ion. Then, atracted by other atom's magnetical force, it joins the other atom's last vallence shell, creating a negative ion, since there are more electrons then protons in the atom in issue.

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Q: You know what you should add to your recipe? A: No, not really. Tell me. Q: What? Are you expecting an answer now? Why don't you just shoot me, huh?! Pee on my clothes and set them on fire! You racist son of an **orange**.... It certainly tastes better with oranges.

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What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

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Why don't women have breasts? Because they have dandruff. Get it? Hint: "dandruff" = "dan druff"

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Touche.try eating something, I eat low carb crap when I am too sleepy, and today I guess it works.

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What do call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

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What's the difference between an elephant and a duck? Purple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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